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Roommates 2026 full comedy drama movie #Roommates #RoommatesMovie #SadieSandler #ChloeEast #NatashaLyonne #NickKroll #StormReid #SarahSherman #BillyBryk #IvyWolk #AidanLangford #JaneaneGarofalo #CarolKane #JoshSegarra #BaileeMadison #MartinHerlihy #AdamSa
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Want it to be in your life.
00:00:04What?
00:00:06August!
00:00:07August, what are you doing?
00:00:09You fucking psycho!
00:00:10Wake up, Luna, you can't call people psycho anymore.
00:00:12Oh, well, you're literally throwing my shit out of the window.
00:00:15That is textbook definition of psycho!
00:00:17You took a video of me while I was sleeping!
00:00:19To show you how loud you snore, you legit have sleep apnea!
00:00:22That can't be any worse than you leaving your bloody pads in our open trash can.
00:00:26Our entire room building a fucking Italian sub!
00:00:29August!
00:00:31Now, anything but the air fryer, you use the shit more than I do.
00:00:34And you don't even ask!
00:00:35Stop!
00:00:36I have a Chipotle delivery for Steve.
00:00:38Ow!
00:00:41Greetings!
00:00:41My office, now!
00:00:46Oh, my God, you are, like, nasty!
00:00:48And you are trash!
00:00:49You're a fucking pick-me-ass bitch!
00:00:51I need her to move out!
00:00:53Shut up!
00:00:54Ladies, when you two moved in together at the start of the year,
00:00:57you were inseparable, remember that?
00:00:59It worked!
00:01:00You hung out, you laughed, you partied.
00:01:02Okay, but that's before I found out that she's awful.
00:01:04You literally have no good qualities!
00:01:06Oh, my God!
00:01:07Hey, guys, guys!
00:01:07It's October.
00:01:08You got the rest of the year ahead of you, okay?
00:01:10If you don't figure out how to coexist now in that tiny little dorm room,
00:01:13things are going to escalate into a very bad situation.
00:01:16There's no getting worse than her!
00:01:17I'm in hell!
00:01:18She's annoying!
00:01:18I'm in hell!
00:01:19I'm in hell!
00:01:21God, trust me!
00:01:25I've seen it.
00:01:26I hate you.
00:01:27Shut the fuck up!
00:01:28Shut the fuck up!
00:01:28It can get so much worse.
00:01:30Shut the fuck up!
00:01:31You shut the fuck up!
00:01:34It all started with a student who was, um...
00:01:37How can I describe her while still remaining a professional?
00:01:41She was a hard worker, but, uh...
00:01:43A low-key pussy.
00:01:45It's time to welcome your valedictorian, Rebecca Anderson.
00:01:53Wait, that's not her.
00:01:55That's her.
00:01:56You didn't think she was the valedictorian, did you?
00:01:58I mean, Devin was smart, and people were always happy to see her,
00:02:01but they also didn't notice when she wasn't around.
00:02:03For me, school was more than just the classes,
00:02:06the football games, and, of course,
00:02:08everybody's least favorite lunch.
00:02:09Like, why taco bagels?
00:02:13Blooming.
00:02:14What I'll remember most
00:02:16are the friends that I made here.
00:02:18Friends that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
00:02:21And in the words of the greatest orator of our time,
00:02:24how lucky am I
00:02:25to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
00:02:29And that
00:02:30was Winnie the Pooh.
00:02:36Me too.
00:02:38Hi, I see you.
00:02:39Hi, honey.
00:02:40Aw, you were the best one.
00:02:42Oh, did you want us to take a picture of you with anyone?
00:02:43No, no, I think I got a bunch before the ceremony.
00:02:45Okay.
00:02:45I'm sure your Snapchat looks pretty lonely.
00:02:47Oh, well, that was cute, that one.
00:02:49It's sort of the same.
00:02:49And then the last one was late.
00:02:50Put it down.
00:02:51Okay.
00:02:53I actually see my friends, so.
00:02:55Oh, so let's go say hi.
00:02:56No.
00:02:56Oh, my God.
00:02:57I'll just meet you by the car.
00:02:58Okay.
00:02:58Okay, bye.
00:02:59Hey, Bella, Ella, Emma, Ava.
00:03:01Hi.
00:03:01Hey, Devin, jump in.
00:03:02Oh, sure.
00:03:05Aw.
00:03:06Do you mind if we get one with just the core four?
00:03:08Yeah.
00:03:09Yeah, yeah.
00:03:10Sure.
00:03:12That's kind of brutal.
00:03:13Oh, Devin, wait.
00:03:14Yes.
00:03:14We need to officially add an honorary fifth member.
00:03:18Senor Michaels!
00:03:21Uh-oh.
00:03:22Better get my good side.
00:03:24Do you mind taking it?
00:03:25Yeah, yeah, no problem.
00:03:27Now go full sluts.
00:03:29And hit angle, butt, and hon.
00:03:33Can you go a little bit higher?
00:03:33Yeah, just sorry.
00:03:34I'm like 40.
00:03:44Hey, do you want a tea?
00:03:45Yeah, baby.
00:03:46Sleepy time.
00:03:46Hey.
00:03:47What's going on?
00:03:48Women's party's at 10.
00:03:49It's 9.45 already.
00:03:50Uh, yeah.
00:03:51I'm not going.
00:03:53Your hair and makeup is all done.
00:03:54It seems like at some point you are going.
00:03:56Well, now I'm in sweatpants, so it would be physically impossible for me to leave the house.
00:03:58Oh, right.
00:03:59That makes sense.
00:03:59That does actually make sense.
00:04:00What are we, uh, cooking here?
00:04:01Honey, that's not for you.
00:04:02You already ate.
00:04:02I know.
00:04:03I'm just curious what is so delicious that it's keeping our daughter from going to the party.
00:04:07Honey, are you sure you don't want to go?
00:04:09I just feel like it's a really big night.
00:04:10Yeah, high school was a waste.
00:04:11I still make friends in college.
00:04:13Yeah, but you love your high school friends.
00:04:15There's Ella, Emma, Enema, Anemic.
00:04:17Not their names.
00:04:18I don't understand.
00:04:18Didn't Emma invite you to her party?
00:04:20She invited me to the party that literally every senior is invited to.
00:04:23Then after that, everyone goes to an after party with their actual friend group.
00:04:26Bella's having a sleepover, and I didn't get an invite, okay?
00:04:29Well, that's just because they were going to be doing Special K and Horse Stranks to celebrate,
00:04:32and they didn't want to do it in front of you because they know you're better than that.
00:04:34Skipping the party, huh?
00:04:35Good for you.
00:04:36Fuck them.
00:04:37Yeah.
00:04:38Yeah, fuck them in the ass.
00:04:39I'm glad I never learned their names, these stupid fucking cunts.
00:04:41What the fuck is going on with you?
00:04:43Yeah.
00:04:43I'm just saying that.
00:04:45Someone get down some ketamine, he's losing it.
00:04:47Maybe we should all do some ketamine.
00:04:51So, uh, when's your orientation thing?
00:04:54Couple weeks.
00:04:54Okay.
00:04:55Soon.
00:04:56Yeah.
00:04:58Here's a question for you.
00:05:00It's to orient you to Walton.
00:05:02Why is it in the woods?
00:05:04Probably because it's about bonding and not school.
00:05:07Well, you're super outdoorsy, so that'll be great.
00:05:10Hmm.
00:05:13I'm just excited to start fresh.
00:05:16Yeah.
00:05:16Totally.
00:05:17I don't need to make, like, a zillion friends at school or whatever.
00:05:19I just, I really want, like, a best friend, you know?
00:05:22Dude, I'm your best friend.
00:05:25I'm outside of this house.
00:05:30Just try not to put too much pressure on it.
00:05:32People can tell when you're thirsty.
00:05:35Isn't that so pathetic?
00:05:36Like, I'm about to go to college and I've never had a best friend before.
00:05:39Oh, it's not nearly as pathetic as watching you pretend to smoke a joint.
00:05:43What?
00:05:43I, I'm, I'm doing it.
00:05:45I don't know.
00:05:46You have to inhale to feel it.
00:05:48I'm not even kidding.
00:05:48I felt it.
00:05:49I promise you.
00:05:50Okay.
00:05:50I feel something.
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:54Not, nothing.
00:05:55That's good.
00:05:59Hi, guys.
00:06:00Um, I'm Ellie.
00:06:00Welcome to Orientation.
00:06:02Just remember, this is for you guys to have fun and to get to know each other.
00:06:04The only expert here today is your adventure guide, Goose.
00:06:07What's up, everybody?
00:06:08Thank you, Ellie.
00:06:08Goose, that's me.
00:06:09I didn't go to Walton because I didn't have it like that.
00:06:11I work here.
00:06:12Let's get to it.
00:06:12So when you're out on the ropes, you're going to have, like, an instinct and urge to touch the bar.
00:06:16Do not.
00:06:17Don't.
00:06:18Touch the metal bar.
00:06:19I'm telling you, you will gash your motherfucking hand.
00:06:22All right?
00:06:22Final destination type shit.
00:06:24Also, remember, you got a harness, all right?
00:06:26But honestly, like, just pretend like the harness isn't there because even when the harness falls ain't comfy, bruh.
00:06:31We haven't had any deaths out here.
00:06:32We had one lady turn into a vegetable, but she's in really good spirits right now.
00:06:35Y'all can smoke out here.
00:06:36You can drink out here as long as you share it with the Goose, baby.
00:06:38Goose is loose.
00:06:39Any questions?
00:06:40Sorry, I'm late.
00:06:40Are you part of this group?
00:06:42Yeah.
00:06:43You just missed the whole spiel, dude.
00:06:45I can figure it out.
00:06:47What's your name?
00:06:48Goose.
00:06:50That's hilarious.
00:06:51What's your name?
00:06:53Celeste.
00:06:53That's hilarious.
00:06:56Every freshman knows that you will be fucked if you don't make friends in orientation.
00:07:00Devin was determined to find the thing she wanted most, a college bestie.
00:07:05Are people hanging out tonight or what's the deal?
00:07:06This one girl started a big snap group.
00:07:08I can add you.
00:07:08Can I get on that chat?
00:07:09But the harder Devin tried.
00:07:11Yeah, sure.
00:07:12Okay.
00:07:12I'll find you later.
00:07:13The more desperate she seemed.
00:07:14I'm scared the shit out of you.
00:07:16Ah.
00:07:17As the day went on, Devin was convinced that she was going to be exactly who she was in high
00:07:21school.
00:07:22A girl with no friends.
00:07:25Oh, no.
00:07:28Okay, try holding on to this thingy.
00:07:31Okay.
00:07:34Hey!
00:07:35Oh, my God!
00:07:36What the hell?
00:07:37Bro!
00:07:38You have a fucking brain!
00:07:40I like your tattoos.
00:07:41Suck my dick!
00:07:42Jeez.
00:07:43Let's go!
00:07:46What's up, big time?
00:07:47You're scared?
00:07:47You look scared.
00:07:48Yeah, well, you look like you just lost custody.
00:07:51Ooh!
00:07:51Well, that's hilarious!
00:07:53I don't even have a wife.
00:07:54I'm sorry.
00:07:55Is there a way to go slower?
00:07:56No.
00:07:57So, when I get the okay signal, that's when you step down, and that's when you go.
00:08:00Okay, so go now.
00:08:01No!
00:08:01No!
00:08:01What am I supposed to do?
00:08:03Ah!
00:08:05Oh, my God!
00:08:06Ah!
00:08:07Oh, my God!
00:08:08Oh, my God!
00:08:08Ah!
00:08:10Oh!
00:08:11You kicked me in my titties!
00:08:13I'm sorry!
00:08:14That girl needs training wheels.
00:08:16All right, everyone!
00:08:22Hey!
00:08:23All right!
00:08:24Hey!
00:08:25Eyes up here!
00:08:26Hey!
00:08:27So, we will now be splitting up into teams of two for the scavenger hike.
00:08:31The winning team gets these awesome unisex hoodies.
00:08:33Woo!
00:08:33Yeah, really exciting.
00:08:34So, pick a partner wisely.
00:08:41I'm gonna have a great time.
00:08:43Whoever doesn't have a partner can partner up with me, and I will take the time with you
00:08:46to bitch about my open relationship.
00:08:50Want to be partners?
00:08:51Heads up, I suck at scavenger hunts.
00:08:54Got it.
00:08:58For five points, take a photo of someone waxing their legs.
00:09:01Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
00:09:02Yeah, I know.
00:09:0380 grand a year, and they couldn't just give us the hoodies.
00:09:06Where are you from?
00:09:07Montclair, New Jersey.
00:09:08You?
00:09:09Stanford, Connecticut.
00:09:10But, like, the shit part.
00:09:11Whatever.
00:09:11Maybe stronger.
00:09:12What are you gonna major in?
00:09:13Architectural design?
00:09:14Maybe with a minor in construction management?
00:09:16Same.
00:09:17Really?
00:09:18God, no.
00:09:18No.
00:09:18I'll do fashion merchandising.
00:09:19Or comms, I think.
00:09:20I don't know.
00:09:21Whatever's easier.
00:09:21I'm, like, the first person in my family to go to college, so the stakes could not be lower.
00:09:25Wow, that's a big deal.
00:09:25You should be, like, really proud.
00:09:29I'm sorry.
00:09:30When I said you should be proud, I didn't mean to tell you what you should be.
00:09:32I'm sure you feel very proud without me telling you to feel proud.
00:09:35Stop worrying.
00:09:37If there's one thing you need to know about me, I don't give a fuck.
00:09:40Now, Dr. Schilling, you know the people who say they don't give a fuck.
00:09:43Give the most fucks.
00:09:44No, Celeste truly did not give a fuck.
00:09:47Can I figure out?
00:09:48Like, boobie Melissa, of course you can.
00:09:50Hey, cutie, but cutie, it's so cute.
00:09:52Oh, just the fuck up with this baby shit, and please let the lady finish her story.
00:09:56I have a brow tint at four.
00:09:57So fucking rude.
00:09:58Okay, four o'clock tint, respect.
00:10:00Might want to get a little tweeze while you're at it.
00:10:02Okay, even though orientation was only a couple days,
00:10:04you would have thought Devin and Celeste had been best friends for years.
00:10:07They went boating, they French braided each other's hair.
00:10:10I mean, there was so much girl-on-girl intimacy, it was giving lesbian period peace.
00:10:14Wait, were they?
00:10:16No.
00:10:17Ugh, boring.
00:10:18But, on the last morning of orientation, Devin decided to pop the big question.
00:10:22Hi, do you need a ride?
00:10:25Oh, uh, no, my parents are going to come pick me up.
00:10:27Aw, family girl.
00:10:29Yeah.
00:10:29That's cute.
00:10:30Hey, I was going to ask you last night, and then I was like, don't be thirsty.
00:10:33By the way, I don't say that word, thirsty.
00:10:36Devin, stop, we're good.
00:10:37Okay, um, would you want to be roommates with me?
00:10:42I have honors housing, so it's on the main campus, and we'd have our own bathroom.
00:10:46Yes.
00:10:48Okay, okay, yay, oh my god.
00:10:50Uh, I'll text you and stuff, we can figure out who wants what side and everything, and
00:10:54have a mini-fridge.
00:10:54Well, this is my dad's mini-fridge, but my mom told me I could take it.
00:10:57That's sick.
00:10:58Yeah.
00:11:00Hey, so you know, I'm not looking for just a roommate, I'm looking for a ride-or-die.
00:11:05I've had fake friends before, and I do not need that.
00:11:08You know what I need?
00:11:10I need someone who will bury the body.
00:11:12Will you do that, Devin?
00:11:14I'll bring the lime and the duct tape and the hacksaws and the ponchos.
00:11:17Fuck yeah, you thirsty little freak.
00:11:19Yes, thirsty.
00:11:20Okay, Celeste, I was going to ask you.
00:11:21I already have a roommate.
00:11:22Okay, bye.
00:11:23Phoebe.
00:11:24Bye, Deb.
00:11:25Bye.
00:11:33Two weeks had passed since Celeste agreed to be Devin's roommate.
00:11:36At first, the girls had talked constantly, but recently, Celeste had gone silent over
00:11:40text.
00:11:41Packing up for college, Devin was spinning out.
00:11:44Was Celeste even going to show up?
00:11:46Here's what this is.
00:11:48Okay.
00:11:49All right.
00:11:51Pumpkin spice is all packed up with everything in the house.
00:11:55Here are the keys to your car that I have packed entirely with no help from you.
00:11:58Sorry.
00:11:59Are you sure that you don't want us to drive you up to school?
00:12:00We could help you decorate your room.
00:12:02No, no, I don't think anyone's parents are doing that.
00:12:04That's what literally every other parent is doing, but you're the boss.
00:12:07Yeah.
00:12:08One final thing.
00:12:11No, Dad, I have the money I made this summer.
00:12:13Okay, get the fuck out of here with that.
00:12:15This is for emergencies, and booze is not an emergency.
00:12:18Okay.
00:12:19Neither are edibles.
00:12:20Thanks, Dad.
00:12:21I appreciate it.
00:12:21All right, hold on.
00:12:22One more thing.
00:12:24Yeah, my girl.
00:12:28Mom, no, I'm going to break them.
00:12:30They're too nice.
00:12:31Yeah, they break them, they break them.
00:12:32Just don't put them in the microwave.
00:12:33Great.
00:12:34Now I've got to repack the whole trunk.
00:12:35It's going to be a thing.
00:12:37Oh.
00:12:38Wow.
00:12:38Oh, you're bringing a slowpoke.
00:12:39Yeah, of course.
00:12:40Cute.
00:12:43No heart attacks.
00:12:44Let me do it.
00:12:44I got it, I got it, I got it.
00:12:45I think they're just a good idea.
00:12:46Okay.
00:12:53Um, I don't have class for like a week, so maybe I just stay here, and then I go next
00:12:57semester or something like that.
00:12:59Honey, honey, you're spiraling.
00:13:00It's going to be amazing.
00:13:02Yeah, but what if I don't make any friends?
00:13:04You will make friends.
00:13:05If you don't, fuck them.
00:13:07Yeah, and let slowpoke watch you fuck them.
00:13:09Unnecessary.
00:13:10Don't do that.
00:13:10What?
00:13:11He's a pervert.
00:13:11Oh, you're so gross.
00:13:12Look, he's a family friend, but he's a pervert.
00:13:38Oh my god, just be careful with that.
00:13:41Hi, welcome.
00:13:42Hi.
00:13:42I got you.
00:13:42Okay.
00:13:43Okay.
00:13:45Wow.
00:13:45You guys work very quick.
00:14:22I can't believe it either.
00:14:26Very exciting.
00:14:27Hi.
00:14:28You scared me.
00:14:29Do we have a fucking pink toilet?
00:14:30I don't know.
00:14:31Did you see the toilet?
00:14:33Oh my god.
00:14:33It's beautiful.
00:14:34Look at it.
00:14:35It's a pink toilet.
00:14:36It's a pink toilet.
00:14:37It's a pink toilet.
00:14:38It's a pink toilet.
00:14:38It's a pink toilet.
00:14:39What?
00:14:48Everything you need to know about me is in these four posters.
00:14:51Really?
00:14:51Good to know.
00:14:52It's a pink toilet.
00:14:56It's a pink toilet.
00:14:57It's a pink toilet.
00:14:58It's a pink toilet.
00:14:58By the way, you can put whatever you want in the mini fridge.
00:15:00It's like both of ours.
00:15:01Your dad's mini fridge.
00:15:03I wonder what else dad's getting us this year.
00:15:08This will be my kombucha palace.
00:15:12Those are really pretty.
00:15:14Ugh.
00:15:14No.
00:15:14My mom made them.
00:15:16Wait, no.
00:15:16We should have them out.
00:15:18Yeah.
00:15:19Great.
00:15:20You know what would be my worst nightmare?
00:15:23What?
00:15:23If you had shown up and immediately started stringing hundreds of tiny Polaroids.
00:15:26Do you know what I'm talking about?
00:15:27Yes.
00:15:27With the twinkly lights?
00:15:28So desperate.
00:15:29Like, okay, you have friends.
00:15:30You don't need an entire shrine to them in your dorm room.
00:15:32And it's also low-key a fire hazard.
00:15:34Okay, Smokey the Bear.
00:15:36Such a good point.
00:15:41That is crazy.
00:15:44Um, what time do you typically go to bed?
00:15:47Like 3 a.m.
00:15:49You?
00:15:51I kind of go to bed now.
00:15:56Is that okay?
00:15:57If I go to bed now?
00:16:04Oh my god.
00:16:15Do you mind if you turn your light off?
00:16:17If that's possible?
00:16:19Yeah.
00:16:21Not bad.
00:16:22I don't mind.
00:16:22But I don't mind.
00:16:24Good night, Devon.
00:16:26Have a nice sleep.
00:16:26Seven things from Sephora that are easy to shoplift.
00:16:28Number one.
00:16:29Gaslighting is back.
00:16:30Unless the person you're gaslighting...
00:16:31Seven minutes of crazy hours out.
00:16:39Can you sleep okay?
00:16:40Yeah, not bad.
00:16:41How about you?
00:16:42I don't know.
00:16:42I feel like many blackout curtains.
00:16:44I just said that.
00:16:46Oh, hi.
00:16:47I'm Amber.
00:16:48Um, I guess we're neighbors.
00:16:49I'm really sorry that we were, like, kind of loud last night.
00:16:51I was trying to put up a shelf and Olivia was...
00:16:53I'm practicing for fall auditions.
00:16:55So...
00:16:56I'm Celeste.
00:16:56This is Devon.
00:16:57Hi.
00:16:58You guys wanna see our room?
00:17:02It's cute.
00:17:03Mm.
00:17:04Mm.
00:17:05Told you this shit was stupid.
00:17:06Okay, it's fine.
00:17:08Excuse me.
00:17:08Sorry.
00:17:09Hi.
00:17:09Do you know how to get to the lower dining hall?
00:17:11Yeah, it's just right there.
00:17:12Closed at 11 now.
00:17:13Wait, what time is it now?
00:17:14It's 10.58.
00:17:15Shit, okay.
00:17:16Go!
00:17:17Ah!
00:17:18Back door!
00:17:19Don't take it away!
00:17:21Don't take it away!
00:17:21Give me the eggs!
00:17:22Give me the eggs!
00:17:22Give me the eggs!
00:17:23Give me the eggs!
00:17:25Help me!
00:17:26Quick!
00:17:26Go, lady.
00:17:27Come on.
00:17:28Did you get the bacon?
00:17:30Can we talk registration?
00:17:31Because I'm a pre-med student and I need a class that I can, like, disassociate through.
00:17:35Yeah, I think I've heard poetry in America is easy.
00:17:37Easy?
00:17:38I'm in.
00:17:38Let's do it.
00:17:39I love poets.
00:17:40They all commit suicide in the craziest ways.
00:17:42Okay.
00:17:43Plus, we missed you last night.
00:17:45We were at, like, 12 different guys' rooms.
00:17:47It was random, but fun.
00:17:48Wow.
00:17:49So, what's up with tonight?
00:17:50Are we going out?
00:17:50I don't know.
00:17:51I have to check with my social director.
00:17:53Do we want to go out?
00:17:58Yeah.
00:17:58Yeah, we're definitely going out tonight.
00:18:02What are you thinking of wearing tonight?
00:18:04I don't really know what the vibe is.
00:18:05Like, do I wear...
00:18:06Hey, Patterson, can I call you back with my roommate?
00:18:09Okay.
00:18:10Bye.
00:18:10Were you on the phone?
00:18:10You don't have to hang up.
00:18:11No, yeah, I was just my therapist.
00:18:12We were at Final Thoughts anyway.
00:18:13He's my crutch.
00:18:15Wow.
00:18:16You guys talk a lot.
00:18:16That's great.
00:18:17Yeah.
00:18:17I have a lot of family stuff.
00:18:19My dad was a janitor at my high school, so I was kind of loaded.
00:18:23Coming!
00:18:27Hey, Kyle from Instacart.
00:18:28Thank you, stud.
00:18:29You get five stars just for being hot.
00:18:30I'm actually gay, so...
00:18:32All right.
00:18:33Blackout curtains are here.
00:18:34And a bunch of other shit.
00:18:38Wait.
00:18:39Wait, what's your Venmo?
00:18:39I'll split this with you.
00:18:40We're roommates.
00:18:41We can't be counting who owes who what.
00:18:43Besides, we're in the same boat.
00:18:44Drowning in student loans.
00:18:47Wait.
00:18:48Devin.
00:18:49Do your parents pay your full tuition?
00:18:51Is that bad?
00:18:52No.
00:18:52Just must be nice.
00:18:55Well, I mean, I worked all summer at Wetzel's Pretzels.
00:18:56And my mom and dad make me pay for books and gas and stuff.
00:19:00I love this smokey eye.
00:19:02Can I do one thing?
00:19:03Uh, sure.
00:19:10Yeah.
00:19:11You got big ass lips.
00:19:12Might as well line that shit.
00:19:14It looks fire.
00:19:162-5-1-1!
00:19:18Friday free game!
00:19:20Who wants the shot?
00:19:21Me.
00:19:21All right.
00:19:21Let's go, girl.
00:19:22Starting at 6.30.
00:19:23Oh, yeah.
00:19:24Oh, is this about to be Devin's core four?
00:19:26Maybe.
00:19:27So, the girls went out that night to-
00:19:29Senior Row.
00:19:30Literally our first weekend.
00:19:31I feel like our night there was kind of a bust, though.
00:19:33Oh, my God.
00:19:34You'd think everything sucks.
00:19:35We went to go get pizza at Chi Chi's.
00:19:37Yeah, and we thought we were sitting next to CeeLo Green,
00:19:38but it turned out to just be a fat gay guy wearing a cape.
00:19:41Anyways, the girls went out that night.
00:19:43Each curating their individual looks.
00:19:48Hi.
00:19:49I'm going to a party, baby.
00:19:50No, I don't know how many guys are gonna be there.
00:19:52Sorry, it's my boyfriend again.
00:19:55What the heck is going on?
00:19:56Why can't we get in anywhere?
00:19:57It's because we're freshmen.
00:19:59Senior girls feel threatened by us.
00:20:00My thing is, like, we're not gonna hook up with your boyfriends, okay?
00:20:03So just let us have your alcohol.
00:20:04What is this?
00:20:04What are you doing?
00:20:05What is this?
00:20:06I don't want you to just stay in your room, babe,
00:20:08because that's sad.
00:20:10Okay, yeah.
00:20:11I'll send you a pic from the bathroom, I guess.
00:20:13Jesus Christ.
00:20:15Again, it's like, no, it never ended.
00:20:17What?
00:20:17What?
00:20:17Oh.
00:20:19Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:20:20This is a closed party.
00:20:22Club Ultimate Frisbee members only.
00:20:23Well, that's perfect.
00:20:24We've been meaning to join.
00:20:25Yeah, totally.
00:20:26Love Frisbee.
00:20:27Yes, it's the ultimate.
00:20:28I was on my high school club team.
00:20:29Oh, y'all can flick it.
00:20:31Then, ladies, come on in.
00:20:32See you at practice.
00:20:33I'm so excited.
00:20:34I'm so excited.
00:20:356.30 a.m. on Sundays.
00:20:36So, be there.
00:20:38No.
00:20:39I typed the text to a girl I used to see
00:20:41Saying that I showed this cutie pie with me
00:20:43I'm on beef
00:20:44And I apologize if this man's a fish and dairy
00:20:46Then I see see their review without a person
00:20:47I can see y'all frown
00:20:50But I rather see my smile
00:20:51And witness all around actually
00:20:52I'm in a lot connection with me
00:20:54Makes no sense I know it's
00:20:56Holy shit!
00:20:57You should take a photo.
00:20:58You should take a photo.
00:20:59Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:21:03Can you take one of just me and dad?
00:21:05Oh, yeah.
00:21:06Oh, no, no.
00:21:06Oh, yeah.
00:21:07Oh, no, no.
00:21:08That's really cute.
00:21:09Yeah.
00:21:12I love you.
00:21:12I love you.
00:21:15Yeah.
00:21:16You want to shake back?
00:21:17Yeah.
00:21:17Yeah.
00:21:18Yeah.
00:21:19Yeah.
00:21:19Yeah.
00:21:20Yeah.
00:21:22Yeah.
00:21:31Hey, baby.
00:21:33It's good.
00:21:35I love you.
00:21:36Yeah, yeah.
00:21:37I got you.
00:21:38What?
00:21:39Oh, my God, dang it, dang it.
00:21:42Oh, my God!
00:22:02Oh, I would not use that.
00:22:04The Brita has been in there since, like, last year.
00:22:09What do I smell?
00:22:12Does it smell good or bad?
00:22:13I'm not sure.
00:22:15This is paella.
00:22:16I kind of got obsessed with it when I lived in Spain,
00:22:18and I've been craving it ever since I got back.
00:22:20You want to try some?
00:22:21Yeah, yeah, sure.
00:22:27Oh, my God.
00:22:28It's really spicy.
00:22:30It's bad.
00:22:31Yeah, it's not good.
00:22:32What we have is salt, onion powder, and red chili flakes.
00:22:35When were you in Spain?
00:22:36Last semester.
00:22:37I was doing a gallery seminar from Barcelona.
00:22:39Wait, are you an architecture major?
00:22:40Yeah.
00:22:41Me too.
00:22:41No, or I will be when classes start.
00:22:43Oh, you're a freshman.
00:22:45Yeah, yeah.
00:22:46Freshman Devin.
00:22:47I mean, I am a freshman, and my name is Devin.
00:22:51Okay, we're up next for beer pong,
00:22:52and I've got to be honest, I'm really bad.
00:22:54Ow!
00:22:54Who are you?
00:22:55Uh, Michael.
00:22:56Michael, I'm watching you.
00:22:57You fuck with her, you fuck with me.
00:22:59Copy that?
00:23:00No, she's just drunk.
00:23:01Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:23:11We're never going to die!
00:23:14Are you okay?
00:23:17So that guy was just, like, making rice in the middle of a party.
00:23:20First I thought it was sad, but then I realized it was definitely sad.
00:23:23Yeah.
00:23:24Senior, though.
00:23:25I don't mind that part.
00:23:26Oh, my God.
00:23:27It's because your boyfriend's in 12th grade.
00:23:29Love of my life.
00:23:30Older guys always like younger girls.
00:23:31It's fucking gross.
00:23:33Well, I think he's only 21.
00:23:34Oh, well, then, that's whatever, then.
00:23:36I'm 20.
00:23:37You're 20?
00:23:38Well, I went to USC for a little bit,
00:23:40and then I bailed out to do a gap year.
00:23:42More like thigh gap year.
00:23:44I'm sorry.
00:23:44I'm trying wordplay.
00:23:45It's not working.
00:23:46It's insane.
00:23:47If that's what you think wordplay is.
00:23:49Okay, oh, my God.
00:23:50I'm chewing over it.
00:23:51I'm still concussed.
00:23:51You're not concussed.
00:23:52You're just stupid.
00:23:53I need you to learn how to drink before we go to Panama City,
00:23:55because I'm not going to babysit your ass while we're out there.
00:23:57Wait, when are you guys going to Panama City?
00:23:58It's spring break.
00:24:00You guys should come.
00:24:00Yeah, you should, but you have to buy tickets, like, right now.
00:24:02For April.
00:24:03Everyone from Walton goes to the same resort.
00:24:04It sells out, like, immediately.
00:24:06Yeah.
00:24:06I'm going to send you the link right now.
00:24:07I'm down.
00:24:08I mean, I don't have my card on me,
00:24:09but if you book the flights and stuff, I'll memo you.
00:24:12We'll have to do this.
00:24:13It's going to go high right now.
00:24:15You're going to pay me back.
00:24:17Oh, my God.
00:24:17Oh, my God.
00:24:17Just shut up.
00:24:18Just fight.
00:24:19Oh, my God.
00:24:20Oh, my God.
00:24:20Come on.
00:24:21Oh, my God.
00:24:22Just do it.
00:24:22Florida.
00:24:23Florida.
00:24:24Florida.
00:24:24Florida.
00:24:26I'm still drunk.
00:24:27Let's do it.
00:24:29Wait, wait, wait.
00:24:29We're actually all going to Panama City.
00:24:31Yes?
00:24:31I am so going to make that and get a tattoo there.
00:24:34I'm not doing that.
00:24:41Good morning, everyone.
00:24:42How are we?
00:24:45That good, huh?
00:24:46Okay, show of hands.
00:24:47Who completed the assignment for the first day?
00:24:48I see the models of your favorite buildings.
00:24:50Good, good, good.
00:24:50And who did not?
00:24:53And why didn't you?
00:24:55Just because the first line of the syllabus said to read the whole syllabus,
00:24:58and the last line said to discard all assignments for the first day.
00:25:01Yes!
00:25:01First rule of structural design, read the fucking syllabus.
00:25:04For those of us who did make models, will they be graded?
00:25:07They will not.
00:25:08And you should be glad.
00:25:10Everybody, back there is your section TA Michael.
00:25:12And if you are ever getting the urge to email me, email Michael instead.
00:25:16My office hours are Friday from 2 to 4, but email me whenever.
00:25:19I live for your long-winded excuses written by ChatGPT.
00:25:23He's her TA?
00:25:25This would go so good or so bad.
00:25:26No, but they can't do anything because the power dynamics are off.
00:25:28Girl, bye.
00:25:29He's still a student.
00:25:30It's totally fine.
00:25:31So did she get that TA dick?
00:25:33I'll tell you more about their burgeoning romance outside.
00:25:35Gotta take Melissa for her walk.
00:25:36I see her tushy hole is throbbing.
00:25:39Ew!
00:25:48What molecule carries genetic information?
00:25:49Nucleus.
00:25:50No.
00:25:50What type of blood cells fight infection?
00:25:52Nucleus.
00:25:52No.
00:25:55Ugh, I feel like shit.
00:25:57Why don't you go to our room and sleep?
00:25:58I can't.
00:25:59I have a paper on the history of Denim Dude tomorrow.
00:26:02How much of it do you have written?
00:26:04None.
00:26:11I'll do it.
00:26:12You just, you go rest.
00:26:13Don't you have your design midterm dude tomorrow?
00:26:15No, it's done.
00:26:16It's on my desk.
00:26:17I just have to study for art history now.
00:26:19Okay.
00:26:22I promise I'll make it up to you, my little genius.
00:26:25If I were you, I would not sleep in our dorm tonight.
00:26:29You do not want to get what I have.
00:26:31Trust me.
00:26:33Girl, cover your mouth.
00:26:51Girl, cover your mouth.
00:27:00No.
00:27:07No.
00:27:10Girl, who are you?
00:27:12What the fuck?
00:27:13Yo, we studying.
00:27:14I'm sorry.
00:27:16You want to meet me outside?
00:27:18Yeah.
00:27:19Okay.
00:27:24how did you have my number i uh the class contact form i'm sorry if that was weird by the
00:27:28way i was
00:27:28trying to be funny it was very weird yeah but i liked it which way you headed back to addison
00:27:35oh honors dorm the only dorm on campus with your own bathroom yes living the dream pooing in my
00:27:40own room yep yeah awesome so what got freshman devon into architecture anyways actually my
00:27:47german gigi lives in a franklin white house what yeah no freaking way well technically mary mahoney
00:27:51griffin designed it but she was a dressman yeah i know who she is that's maybe even cooler
00:27:56i think i want to visit gigi well she loves visitors she'll make you negronis and ask you
00:28:00to dance with her okay i'm all in on gigi but i have to warn you if she kisses you
00:28:05on the cheek
00:28:05it's never gonna come off damn gigi sounds like my type well she's single okay
00:28:26hey you're in my poetry class
00:28:28oh my god you know i i kind of went down on you but you get the fuck out
00:28:35all right i'm theo by the way i'll see you in class
00:28:47i pushed the beds together because he was a wrestler it was like kind of huge
00:28:51yeah i thought you were sick i think it was just allergies i tried calling you
00:28:58okay um here's your paper oh thank you you might emailing it to me too i might want to
00:29:06make a couple tweaks yeah sure
00:29:16did we break your thing yeah i'll figure it out
00:29:35who's going
00:29:38hi hi honey where are you it looks dangerous what i'm in the laundry room i'm just washing
00:29:43my sheets what's wrong what's going on it's just the last she's so annoying i thought you
00:29:48liked her what do you mean she's just i offered to help her with her paper because she said
00:29:52she was sick and when i got home she was randomly way better hey sweetheart we don't do other
00:29:56people's schoolwork oh my god dad you're missing the point okay i'm gonna go
00:30:00no no no no no no let's talk about it honey honey just let us know what what's she doing
00:30:03to you sweetie okay my entire mini fridge is full of her stinky kombucha bottles she doesn't
00:30:08clean the bathroom ever she borrowed my new hoodie and i hadn't even taken the price tag
00:30:11off yet okay have you tried talking to her what no that would be so weird hey sweetheart
00:30:19look we don't talk about people we talk to them okay that's right do you understand me
00:30:23dad it's a facetime take it away from your ear
00:30:27he thought it was an ear time honey it's fine i just miss you guys
00:30:30we miss you too and you are coming home okay thanksgiving is just a few weeks away
00:30:34while we're talking about travel i did see a charge for four thousand dollars for plane tickets
00:30:38on the emergency credit cards god i'm sorry that's for spring break i'll venmo you once
00:30:42celeste pays me back doesn't she have her own father to take advantage of oh my god wow i can't
00:30:46believe there's machines open oh are you on facetime yeah i'm just on facetime with my parents
00:30:51oh my god hi mom hi dad i'm celeste hi celeste hey your daughter is legitimately my favorite
00:30:59part about college oh you know what she says just the same thing about you doesn't she
00:31:03she really does she really does so let's honey what are you doing for the holidays are you gonna
00:31:06do anything nice for thanksgiving um probably stay on campus um because i have some family stuff
00:31:11going on but it'll be good to catch up on some sleep wow oh sorry my therapist is calling
00:31:16at midnight but it was so nice to meet you guys it's so nice to meet you honey
00:31:21yeah yeah invite her here what no yeah she's doing a shrink at midnight okay she looks like a
00:31:27some sort of a vagabond can you say tipsy anymore you can't right it's nice to have a friend
00:31:31you like her so just work it out did you not just hear what i said no i'm not inviting
00:31:34her invite her here
00:31:43oh my god i'm so happy to be off campus thank you deb yeah it's gonna be fun um also
00:31:50i just
00:31:51wanted to say sorry about that night during midterms you know when you do something then
00:31:57afterwards you realize like fuck like that was really stupid of me no it's all good i just i
00:32:03would appreciate if you didn't sit on guys faces in my bed that is an incredibly fair request i can
00:32:09commit to that i believe in you
00:32:14damn you didn't tell me you're rich rich we're not rich we're like middle class
00:32:18why do rich people always like to say they're middle class hi oh did you grow are you taller
00:32:24i am really allowed to hug i don't know what they're okay okay other rules no shoes let's get the
00:32:29cowboy
00:32:29boots up we just don't get more hi girls celeste it's whatever you want baby hi devin hi mom
00:32:37hi you look so beautiful come home teabag hi hi hi hi i'm alex i can take your look at
00:32:45this
00:32:45gentleman chivalry's alive yes hi honey i'm so happy to hear you too brian we're gonna order sushi
00:32:52you like sushi yes love sushi okay let's have some hi whatever happened to fucking chicken fingers
00:33:06first place at the montclair jr swim meet no i actually came in last place but my parents just
00:33:11made me that because they were proud i participated look at the inscription it literally says best try
00:33:17wow your parents never wanted you to feel bad did they oh yeah they love me like maybe too much
00:33:22sometimes what are these oh my god i am more than my anxiety no they're just like little
00:33:30affirmations no you can put them up in our in our bathroom if you want no i don't i don't
00:33:33need
00:33:33them anymore why do you do you take something uh i take a fixer like a super low dose though
00:33:40why didn't you tell me i'm just kind of private about it well i told you about my therapist
00:33:45no i know that i i should have said something i'm sorry or i don't know why i'm sorry it's
00:33:49fine
00:33:49we're fine it's okay yo celeste you play katan uh you know i didn't really play board games because
00:33:56i was always popular but what's katan it's actually like really fun you build roads and settlements and
00:34:01stuff alex can we think about it uh yeah sure so when did your brother come out oh he hasn't
00:34:10brought that up okay well we should go out tonight after katan i mean it's kind of a
00:34:16long game uh maybe katan's a different night okay we can go to the bowling alley or the mall i
00:34:23mean
00:34:23it closes at 10 but we can go for a little no like a bar oh no we won't be
00:34:27able to get in i mean all the
00:34:28bars your card oh well it is a good thing it's a really good thing that we have ids
00:34:45thank you for letting me borrow this yes of course you look awesome
00:34:52wait you used my real name no you want to use your real name or you can still use your
00:34:56credit
00:34:57card oh wait that's smart yeah it's the home address you want to change that way if they
00:35:02take it they can't track you down they'll never find you at 126 Crestview Road Stanford Connecticut
00:35:07that's my address that's my home address see i switched it on the face so technically
00:35:10it's in my hometown bar not yours all right penis time hey dude yeah let's see some ids ladies
00:35:18yes yeah fine whatever what are you drinking for real we will get two tequila sodas with wine
00:35:27and six green tea shots open or close open do you have your card uh yeah yeah devin
00:35:37hi devin this is so fun you're literally the last person i thought we'd see out tonight
00:35:42oh so cute oh uh this is ella emma avide and i'm up i'm celeste i'm devin's best friend
00:35:50oh nice to meet you we know devin from high school oh nice are you gonna introduce yourself or you're
00:35:56just gonna keep staring at me uh oh i was just staring at your tattoos no you weren't but that's
00:36:02okay he wants to do a shot what oh god ah ah are you serious that's really awful you want
00:36:07one what oh definitely oh fuck damn it what should we cheers to to not being high school anymore
00:36:16that's so real cheers find me later okay
00:36:31i almost had to beat up an old lady to get these tiny marshmallows but i got them
00:36:42hey d you ask your mom if she needs any help i'm doing the mashed potatoes okay well that's the
00:36:47easiest
00:36:47one can you see if she needs anything jesus make yourself available i know mick jagger with the
00:36:52sunglasses celeste you can sit oh no i insist okay fine love you brian
00:37:00i am annoying i am fake i'm not who i'm me i'm pretending to be you ever seen drag race
00:37:08uh no you should you'd love it i feel very attacked
00:37:20celeste seems like a good hang did you have fun last night
00:37:22uh yeah unfortunately i was in college and i had a hangover i drink a whole bottle of wine
00:37:26eat some chicken nuggets take a nap and just sleep all day mom that's really sad
00:37:30well all moms are a little sad you'll see
00:37:34hello ice family happy thanksgiving for here
00:37:38hi mom happy thanksgiving
00:37:40hi hi how about the new ponies
00:37:42hi hi so good to see you
00:37:43how are you happy thanksgiving
00:37:45honey how is college going are you an architect yet
00:37:49no not yet well did you tell those professors about the house that i live in yeah i did
00:37:54let them buy you uh-oh who is this beautiful young woman
00:37:58oh this is this is my roommate celeste
00:38:01celeste well i am your gg now come here come here
00:38:07here's brian hi
00:38:10bula you grew your mustache back
00:38:11just to miss you all mission accomplished
00:38:13d can you come out and help me with the turkey please
00:38:15want me to get alex no i don't trust him near this
00:38:17you are a wanted woman i'll start on the process
00:38:19oh thank you honey hi mom come on i need my girl
00:38:22why don't you get it
00:38:23i need to fight
00:38:26can i take you a drink
00:38:27yes it's actually good you can do kettlebell
00:38:33you can just kind of do your kettleball exercise like that
00:38:35you can swing it too if you want
00:38:37i don't want this to look sexual
00:38:38if it's looking sexual i'm doing it wrong
00:38:40it is okay then i'm gonna stop
00:38:41all right you take a picture
00:38:42yeah
00:38:45that's good for the grid
00:38:46no just for stories
00:38:48okay i'm gonna lower it down
00:38:50oh listen to that sizzle
00:38:53celeste is uh she's funny
00:38:55yeah
00:38:56you're funnier though
00:38:57thank you
00:38:58okay keep an eye on okay
00:39:00hey d
00:39:00i love you
00:39:02i love you
00:39:19hey honey
00:39:21hi
00:39:22you're out here all alone
00:39:23yeah now you're not
00:39:26you know your friend in there
00:39:27is so pretty
00:39:29but the tattoos are so ugly
00:39:31what is that about
00:39:32stop don't say that
00:39:35i'm gonna take a shifter
00:39:36no no go back inside i got it
00:39:38they won't let me do anything in there
00:39:39go watch a turkey
00:39:40look at your friend
00:39:41your brother go be with her
00:39:44okay
00:39:45okay bye
00:39:50when i was your age i got a tattoo
00:39:52with my college boyfriend verne
00:39:54oh my god vicky you were crazy about verne
00:39:56she was obsessed with verne
00:39:57i mean in fairness everything was
00:39:58and i'll never forget how happy he made me
00:40:01fun fact about verne
00:40:02he's now married to whitney cummings
00:40:03get out
00:40:03who
00:40:04oh yeah i know i act like i'm cool with all the verne talk
00:40:06but i'm not
00:40:07okay you know devon has a verne
00:40:09he's her ta
00:40:10what are you talking about
00:40:11really
00:40:12oh my devon likes a boy
00:40:14every time devon's around him
00:40:16she's like
00:40:16my girl
00:40:17honey i don't say that
00:40:20something is going on out there
00:40:21what
00:40:23oh my god
00:40:24mom mom
00:40:25don't let go
00:40:26go
00:40:26mom
00:40:27mom
00:40:28oh my god what do we do
00:40:29she's on fire
00:40:30oh my god
00:40:35oh my god
00:40:36mom i got it
00:40:37mom
00:40:37oh my god
00:40:39oh my god
00:40:40oh my god
00:40:40she spilled my drink
00:40:41oh mom you don't need that honey
00:40:42all right
00:40:43you okay
00:40:43i'm okay okay
00:40:46you're supposed to be watching the fryer huh
00:40:47she told me to go inside i don't know
00:40:49brian brian it's okay i knew devon was out of it today so i had to be the responsible one
00:40:52oh what size head do you have i'm gonna crochet your hat
00:40:56grandma's hat's iconic
00:41:05devon woke up the next morning with a stomach ache knowing she had to spend the rest of the weekend
00:41:09with celeste
00:41:17immediately she felt better
00:41:18hey d you up yet come have some breakfast i'm making waffles
00:41:22don't fart him dad
00:41:23too late
00:41:25devon returned back to the dorms just in time for her 19th birthday
00:41:41happy birthday
00:41:42god
00:41:44thank you so much this is so nice
00:41:46of course you like it
00:41:47yeah i mean i can't believe you did all this
00:41:48so i'm thinking for your birthday
00:41:50the four of us we go to abba
00:41:51it's like mediterranean but then they also have a hookah lounge
00:41:54that sounds awesome
00:41:55nice
00:41:55okay i'm gonna shower
00:41:56yeah
00:42:00um is that my bra and underwear
00:42:02yeah they were in my drawer
00:42:19celeste's actions had moved devon from anxious to full-blown paranoid
00:42:22she needed a second opinion so she went to the smartest woman on campus
00:42:27hey girly pop
00:42:28wait you're in this story
00:42:30why do you have a fucking bull cut
00:42:31it was a bob and how are you seeing that anyway that's weird
00:42:35wow these are awesome
00:42:37my mom's a ceramicist
00:42:38oh nice yeah
00:42:39the welding studio is like a 20 minute walk away so i was like fuck walking
00:42:43is the school okay with that
00:42:45no
00:42:47so you're just here to admire my decor
00:42:51i guess i was wondering what the process is for switching roommates
00:42:54whoa whoa whoa
00:42:56switching roommates is a last resort
00:42:58the school only allows that in extreme circumstances
00:43:00she'd have to be like threatening your life
00:43:02i'm just i'm having a problem with boundaries
00:43:04if you have any advice about that
00:43:06the thing about communication is that you're not gonna get what you want unless you ask for it
00:43:10so just be direct
00:43:13hey celeste can i talk to you about something
00:43:15not now after we watch foolish
00:43:16oh my god i cannot believe you haven't seen this fucking movie
00:43:20you were so sheltered
00:43:22trivia fact stacy dash was 30 when she filmed this
00:43:2530 it's close to your age
00:43:30whoa what the fuck
00:43:32sorry i um
00:43:33i just have to charge my computer
00:43:35i was about to die
00:43:38go back
00:43:48so i have really enjoyed reading all your poems this semester
00:43:51i loved it so much that i think the entire class
00:43:53should get a chance to hear them before winter break
00:43:55oh come on who's gonna kick us up
00:43:58anybody don't everybody jump up at once
00:43:59i'll go
00:44:00celeste all right come on down
00:44:07my poem is called the girl who's barely there
00:44:12it's 8 a.m the girl methodically puts together an outfit
00:44:16that precisely zero people will notice
00:44:18it's almost as if that's her goal
00:44:22to be imperceptible
00:44:25inoffensive
00:44:26insignificant
00:44:27she's the girl who's barely there
00:44:31it's noon
00:44:31the girl laughs too hard at a joke of a handsome senior
00:44:35he's a kaleidoscope
00:44:37she's beige
00:44:38yet also clear
00:44:41she's the girl who's barely there
00:44:44it's 10 p.m the girl waits for someone to make plans for her
00:44:47she wonders
00:44:48do i exist merely to refract the brilliance of others
00:44:52am i like a glass wall
00:44:54so translucent that someone might walk straight through me
00:44:58crash
00:44:59sweet
00:45:00trash
00:45:00gone
00:45:02she's the girl
00:45:03who used to be there
00:45:11great job celeste
00:45:13i love your use of imagery and how you play with form
00:45:16all right let's open it up
00:45:17what else did people notice
00:45:18mara
00:45:20celeste did a great job of capturing the emptiness of the character
00:45:25we all know this girl
00:45:27and you just want to go up to her and say
00:45:29you're not the victim
00:45:30you just suck
00:45:33see you bet my ex
00:45:35that was inappropriate
00:45:36anyone else
00:45:38theo
00:45:40um i thought we had to rhyme
00:45:42no you're not supposed to rhyme
00:45:43okay not every poem is a rhyme
00:45:45if you ever wrote a poem about me like that i'd fucking kill you
00:45:47oh well you did that already
00:45:48remember when you sang that song at open mic night at the delvin basement
00:45:52oh my god i didn't write that that was a brandy carlisle song
00:45:54really
00:45:54yeah you dumb bitch
00:45:56see look
00:45:56we're finding out about things
00:45:58we're starting to heal
00:45:59oh
00:45:59oh no
00:46:00i'm so sorry dr schilling
00:46:02it's all good george
00:46:04hey beaky
00:46:04that was a great toss you fucking piece of shit
00:46:07you're a fucking amateur
00:46:09oh my god
00:46:11am i tripping or is that the same george
00:46:12oh that's george
00:46:13he keeps getting degrees so he can keep playing frisbee
00:46:16all right where was i
00:46:17right
00:46:18ah winter break
00:46:19a gift from the college gods that comes right when you need it most
00:46:22devin spent her first few weeks at home
00:46:24obsessing over celeste's shitty poem
00:46:26then michael slid into her dms on new year's
00:46:29ooh michael
00:46:30as she talked to michael more and more
00:46:32devin put the focus back on school
00:46:33maybe this semester wouldn't be so bad after all
00:46:37hey professor zeman
00:46:38devin's here
00:46:39oh
00:46:39ms weiss
00:46:41hi
00:46:41hi
00:46:42listen over the break i had dinner with the department head
00:46:45and i showed him your work on the structural analysis problem sets
00:46:47and he could not believe you were a freshman
00:46:49really
00:46:50yeah
00:46:50have you considered submitting to walton con
00:46:52is that a ted talk thing
00:46:54good god no
00:46:55it's this annual campus-wide competition
00:46:56where a student from each major presents a project
00:46:58based around improving campus life
00:47:00and michael and i
00:47:01we're talking yes
00:47:02yes
00:47:02and we feel you should submit
00:47:04wow that's awesome yeah i'll definitely think about it
00:47:06okay
00:47:08i thought about it
00:47:09yes i'm in
00:47:11great
00:47:12you know i see myself in you
00:47:14not in a weird way
00:47:15just the regular way
00:47:24hey
00:47:25hey
00:47:26what's up uh what are you up to
00:47:29what are you up to
00:47:30i just finished my office hours
00:47:32it's gonna go work out
00:47:34me too
00:47:41this is magic to and fro
00:47:46please give me one last show
00:47:52listen my mind from within
00:47:57open up my eager eyes
00:48:01design this
00:48:03why'd you stop keep singing
00:48:05don't worry i'm not gonna post it
00:48:07i think
00:48:08oh my god olivia's been talking full volume to her boyfriend until like 4am
00:48:12that's unhinged
00:48:13that's unhinged like go somewhere else
00:48:14i know and this morning i'm on zoom for biology and my entire study group can hear her and her
00:48:18boyfriend having facetime sex
00:48:192-5-1-1
00:48:22hello
00:48:24party's arrived
00:48:25sorry i thought i always wanted to say that
00:48:27hi
00:48:27hi
00:48:28hi
00:48:29what are you doing here
00:48:30that's celeste inviting me
00:48:31for the party
00:48:31we thought it'd be a fun surprise
00:48:33so you brought a fit for trailer trash though right
00:48:35wait what
00:48:36i didn't know that we were supposed to have a costume
00:48:39oh
00:48:40okay
00:48:41pretty good
00:48:42it's so good
00:48:43it's really good
00:48:43can you guess ours
00:48:44saggy
00:48:47hillbilly hoes
00:48:47no
00:48:48alex no
00:48:48no the simple life
00:48:50beautiful in paris
00:48:51we don't have the wigs because they're like 30 bucks
00:48:52excuse me
00:48:53jay i would like to start drinking
00:48:54oh okay
00:48:55the jersey store this one i know
00:48:56i don't need pity
00:48:58i need a paycheck
00:49:02have none of you seen erin brokovich
00:49:16college is so cool
00:49:18there's like so many assholes in high school you know
00:49:21tell me their name i'll fuck them up
00:49:23let's go dance
00:49:23yeah okay
00:49:31he's cute you should dance with him
00:49:33dance with him
00:49:34no
00:49:34yes
00:49:35oh well look at who it is
00:49:37the lion sisters
00:49:39y'all never come to practice
00:49:40i bet you thought i was never gonna say something
00:49:42because you guys are gorgeous
00:49:43meanwhile i'm just a bag of funyuns with a runner's butt
00:49:46so look at that
00:49:46guess what look at the time
00:49:47just get the fuck out of my house o'clock
00:49:49whoa george george
00:49:50it's okay
00:49:50it's okay
00:49:51do with me
00:49:52oh
00:49:53sorry
00:49:53um
00:49:54i'm gonna do some mushrooms then
00:49:55hey
00:49:56share those with your teammates
00:49:59hi
00:50:00hi
00:50:00you look nice
00:50:01thank you
00:50:02what are you like a trailer park lawyer
00:50:03oh no i just got back from the funeral
00:50:06it wasn't a joke i really i just got back from the funeral
00:50:08oh god i'm sorry
00:50:10it's okay it was like my dad's friend
00:50:12i didn't mean to tell you i've been working on my vault and comp projects
00:50:14devin i think you're gonna crush it
00:50:15thank you
00:50:16when i did mine
00:50:17uh i got so nervous i just started talking crazy fast
00:50:20and i finished my entire 10 minute presentation in like 45 seconds
00:50:27are you sure you don't want to change
00:50:28it's okay i don't really have a costume
00:50:30come on i'm sure we can figure something out
00:50:38wow
00:50:42you have very limited choices for this theme
00:50:45oh
00:50:46this is trailer trash
00:50:48stinkies landscaping
00:50:49what even is this
00:50:50that's my favorite shirt
00:50:50i didn't say i didn't like it i just said it's very on scene
00:50:53okay
00:50:54do you think any flip flops
00:50:56okay
00:50:57what is this
00:50:58that's um
00:50:59that's not just mine
00:51:01we all take turns wearing it at away tournaments
00:51:03well it's in your closet
00:51:04which means you wear it the most
00:51:06yeah
00:51:09how do i look
00:51:11great yeah
00:51:11yeah
00:51:13it fits perfectly
00:51:14yeah
00:51:14do you ever get hot in this thing
00:51:16oh all the time
00:51:17yeah extremely
00:51:17but uh i just dump baby powder in there
00:51:19keeps it fresh
00:51:21do you want me to help with the zipper
00:51:22yeah
00:51:22yeah sure
00:51:23yeah
00:51:25is that okay
00:51:26yeah
00:51:26all right
00:51:33i put the head on
00:51:34yes
00:51:35okay
00:51:35thank you
00:51:36here you go
00:51:38yes
00:51:38okay there he is
00:51:39i'm just careful because it's kind of hard to see him
00:51:41ah
00:51:42i'm sorry
00:51:43that's all right
00:51:43are you okay
00:51:43no i'm fine
00:51:44okay
00:51:45i'm sorry about that
00:51:46wow i didn't realize how cute i must look while i'm in wally mode
00:51:49because you look adorable right now
00:51:50i can't hear you
00:52:08you need to take alex home
00:52:09yeah he said he took something
00:52:10yeah he said he took something
00:52:13alex
00:52:15you okay
00:52:16what's going on
00:52:17what did you take
00:52:18um
00:52:19celeste gave me molly
00:52:21the hell
00:52:23no go ahead i got him
00:52:24yep
00:52:25that's good yeah get it out
00:52:26get it out of you
00:52:28oh okay
00:52:30all i get it's joe exotic
00:52:32hey
00:52:34did you get my brother molly
00:52:35hey what
00:52:35he's puking right now why would you do that
00:52:37you think i drugged your brother
00:52:39yeah i do
00:52:40that's actually so fucked up
00:52:42he said the room was spinning so i gave him dramamine
00:52:43i told him it was molly so he'd fucking take it
00:52:45celeste i think devon's just like really stressed
00:52:46stay out of it amber
00:52:47okay jesus
00:52:49fuck
00:52:49hey baby i'm still at the party
00:52:50i don't know i don't know
00:52:5220 guys why are you mad at me
00:52:54i hope you know
00:52:55i was down here babysitting your brother
00:52:57while you were doing
00:52:58i don't know whatever the fuck this is
00:52:59that's the second time
00:53:00second time i've saved one of your family members
00:53:02maybe i deserve a fucking thank you
00:53:06thanks
00:53:07yeah whatever
00:53:13there wasn't anything fun-yin
00:53:15about that conversation
00:53:18okay so does she give the brother dramamine
00:53:20or does she actually drug him
00:53:22hot sauce is in the bag
00:53:23thanks sexy robot
00:53:24oh i'm actually gay
00:53:25okay okay dr shilling
00:53:26so did devon finally request a room change
00:53:28she couldn't
00:53:29she had two non-refundable tickets to panama city
00:53:31fuck
00:53:51next up we got carter g carter g will be singing driver's license wow bring the move down carter g
00:53:57all right here you go thank you
00:53:59i got my driver's license last week just like we always talked about
00:54:04because you were so excited
00:54:20that night your brother came to visit he came out to me what it's actually really cute he was telling
00:54:27me about this guy peter kuplowski who he has a creature crush on
00:54:31wow yeah that's peter's best friend
00:54:33yeah that's what he said
00:54:36anyway i just thought you should know
00:54:39thank you for telling me
00:54:40i just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that i'm gone
00:54:47by the way um you still owe me two grand for the hotels and the flights
00:54:53i owe your dad
00:54:54which obviously i don't have it right this second so you know what yeah
00:54:58thank you for making me feel so good about it
00:55:01are you mad at me
00:55:02yeah just talk about it later
00:55:04i'm gonna get us a drink
00:55:04it is scary how sober i am right now
00:55:06but you have enough money for drinks
00:55:22there are like a hundred guys in the pool here
00:55:24so you seriously want me to ask them all to get out
00:55:27what are you doing here i thought you had job interviews this week
00:55:29well i just said fuck it
00:55:31it's my last spring break
00:55:33oh plus i couldn't resist a 14-hour car ride with the worst driver in the world
00:55:36oh shut up you drama queen i only fell asleep twice
00:55:39oh my god i can't let him behind the wheel
00:55:41sure
00:55:42are you staying here
00:55:43i don't know we'll see where the night takes me
00:55:45next up to the stage we have devin company
00:55:50oh shit devin you signed up
00:55:52no i don't think that's
00:55:54devin weiss of walton youth devin weiss
00:55:56looks like somebody signed you up
00:55:58hey that person's right here
00:56:15no i don't i don't know the song
00:56:16see the lyrics are right there
00:56:17everybody give this girl some encouragement come on
00:56:19yeah
00:56:26it's just fine
00:56:26i thought i gotta be done
00:56:28because i want it all
00:56:29started out with a kid
00:56:30and it ends up like a kiss
00:56:32there's only a kiss
00:56:32there's only a kiss
00:56:34now i can fall asleep
00:56:35i see you on the couch
00:56:36molly's having a smoke
00:56:38and she's taking the drive
00:56:39and he's holding her bed
00:56:40and my stomach is sick
00:56:42and it's all in my head
00:56:43But she's touching his chest now.
00:56:45He takes off her dress now.
00:56:48Let me go.
00:56:50Hey!
00:56:51OK, let's go.
00:56:51Let's go.
00:56:52Is that the girl that kicked through the teeth?
00:56:54Still fucking hurts.
00:56:56It's a killing day.
00:56:58And we're taking control.
00:57:02I love you!
00:57:04Jealousy, turning saints into the sea.
00:57:07Swimming through state love and lies.
00:57:10Choking on your alibis.
00:57:12But it's a surprise I think.
00:57:15Then the knee is calling me.
00:57:17Open up my eager eye.
00:57:21I'm in surprise, I'm in.
00:57:24Go get it!
00:57:26Go get it!
00:57:27Go get it!
00:57:28Go get it!
00:57:29Go get it!
00:57:31Go get it!
00:57:31Go get it!
00:57:31This is awesome!
00:57:32Go get it!
00:57:33I never...
00:57:39I never...
00:57:42I never...
00:57:47I never...
00:57:49I've never...
00:57:51I've never...
00:58:21Oh, my God.
00:58:46Oh, my God.
00:58:49Oh, my God.
00:58:50Oh, my God.
00:58:52Oh, my God.
00:59:01Oh, my God.
00:59:13Oh, my God.
00:59:29Oh, my God.
00:59:30For the rest of my life, I'll have to look down at that dumb tattoo and think of how much
00:59:33I hate her.
00:59:33And it cost me 400 bucks.
00:59:36Actually, 800, because somehow that slut made me pay for hers.
00:59:38Yeah, that's going to kill you.
00:59:39Also, it looked like really infected.
00:59:41I know it does.
00:59:45I'm going to go check out.
00:59:46Okay.
00:59:47I'm going to wait outside.
00:59:50ID, sweetheart.
00:59:52Here?
00:59:55What's your address?
00:59:57126 Custis Road, Stamford, Connecticut.
00:59:59Must be nice.
01:00:00You know, my sister made some rich dude from Stanford.
01:00:03Now she thinks her shit don't stink.
01:00:07A shitty part of Stamford, so shitty she can afford 300 tattoos, but can't afford to pay me back for
01:00:12anything.
01:00:16You're kidding me.
01:00:17Oh, fuck her.
01:00:19God, she's such a little liar.
01:00:20What is it about me that people think they don't have to be honest with me?
01:00:23It's not your fault.
01:00:23Yeah, well, at a certain point, it feels like it is.
01:00:27Middle school, I thought high school was going to work out.
01:00:29High school, I thought college was going to work out.
01:00:30It's never going to work out.
01:00:31Ever.
01:00:32I'm gay.
01:00:35What?
01:00:36No, um, nothing.
01:00:38I've just been meaning to tell you that I'm pretty sure I'm gay.
01:00:43Okay.
01:00:44Thank you for telling me.
01:00:46Yeah.
01:00:47Felt good, coming out over Taco Bell, the way you're supposed to do it.
01:00:52I just hope it doesn't, like, change what you think of me.
01:00:56Are you kidding?
01:00:57No, I think it's great.
01:01:00By the way, you're back to being my best friend.
01:01:02Yeah, they all come crawling back.
01:01:04Yeah, they do.
01:01:06Love you.
01:01:07Love you.
01:01:09So what are we going to do about Celeste?
01:01:11Oh, well, you think because I'm a gay guy and all gay guys are just vengeful bitches that I'm going
01:01:15to know what to do?
01:01:17Well, you're right.
01:01:30If you tear me and my horse down, aren't you showing me the same intolerance I am being accused of?
01:01:36Nay, don't drag me into this.
01:01:39Hey, confederate statue, we don't need you on our campus.
01:01:43You're so fucking done.
01:01:47No!
01:01:49Jesus fucking Christ, dude.
01:01:57Very nice, very nice dramatic over-the-top work.
01:01:59I will say, for what it's worth, that statue is not of a confederate.
01:02:03He was this school's first lacrosse coach.
01:02:05And he just, he had a horse.
01:02:08Anyway, it is my honor.
01:02:09Good luck, Devin.
01:02:11Try not to talk too fast.
01:02:12I'm good.
01:02:14Hands together for Devin Woods.
01:02:22That's so good.
01:02:23So good.
01:02:24Thank you, Professor Zeman.
01:02:26This competition is all about helping students solve problems in their daily lives.
01:02:29When I think about the hardest problem first-year students face,
01:02:31it isn't dealing with a demanding course load
01:02:33or balancing our work and social lives.
01:02:35It's trying to coexist with your shitty-ass roommate.
01:02:39But I think structural design can help with that.
01:02:43Now, a standard double dorm is 170 square feet.
01:02:46Not too big.
01:02:47And it can feel even smaller
01:02:48when you're sharing the room with a total sociopath.
01:02:52This is my roommate, Celeste.
01:02:54Should I have not used her real name?
01:02:56I'm sorry.
01:02:56I'm off my meds, so I'm just not thinking straight.
01:03:00And this doll is me.
01:03:02If this doll seems traumatized, it's because I am.
01:03:07Now, Walton's dorms feature side-by-side closets,
01:03:10which aren't very private.
01:03:11Ooh, look at all these clothes that don't belong to me.
01:03:14Ooh, I can't wait to wear them without asking.
01:03:16Shout-out to my brother Alex in the tech booth,
01:03:18providing the voice of Celeste.
01:03:21So, by raising the closet,
01:03:23it becomes a little harder for this sticky-finger klepto to reach.
01:03:26Ooh, ooh, I can't reach.
01:03:27I just want to wear your broads and underwear.
01:03:31Next up, let's look at the typical layout of the beds.
01:03:34Who here has come home to find your roommate eating food in your bed?
01:03:38Yeah.
01:03:39One time, I came home,
01:03:40and I found my roommate getting eaten out on my bed.
01:03:48Wait, you hooked up in her bed?
01:03:50Anyways, by installing Murphy beds,
01:03:52we increase deliverable space,
01:03:53and it becomes a lot harder for Celeste to run-train on a short king
01:03:57while I'm writing her papers.
01:03:59Oh, well, can you taste the kombucha?
01:04:04Why is that Celeste doll literally me?
01:04:06So far, this design only benefits me.
01:04:08So, I ask myself,
01:04:10what does Celeste mean?
01:04:12It's hard,
01:04:13because she had humble beginnings growing up in this house.
01:04:19What the fuck?
01:04:21So, here it is.
01:04:22This is a soundproof partition wall.
01:04:25So, now I don't have to hear any more lies
01:04:27about Celeste's dad being a janitor
01:04:28when he's actually the CEO of Staples.
01:04:31Oh, my God, dude.
01:04:34Staples?
01:04:35The restaurant?
01:04:35You're telling me she's a fucking Nepo, baby?
01:04:38Yeah.
01:04:38Oh, and one more thing.
01:04:40Just for Celeste's side.
01:04:42Twinkly lights with Polaroids.
01:04:44Aww.
01:04:45Oh, my God, we're in there.
01:04:46She must have cut it from me.
01:04:47Thank you for listening.
01:04:48Go architecture.
01:04:57By the way,
01:04:59maybe T.A. shouldn't use a class contact sheet
01:05:00as a dating service.
01:05:03Bye.
01:05:04Bye.
01:05:10Devon, that was insane.
01:05:11But, like, in a good way, of course.
01:05:13Thanks.
01:05:13And where did you get that tiny furniture?
01:05:15I made it with my brother.
01:05:17Oh, are you going to be okay in there?
01:05:19Yeah.
01:05:20I'll see you guys later.
01:05:38You've turned my soul
01:05:41Into your home
01:06:05You've turned my soul
01:06:17dude i called you like 15 times what's going on
01:06:24i'm confused did you do that no dude can you just come home please i have my final this
01:06:30afternoon but i'll pack up and go home right after i'm so sorry alex i wasn't there yet
01:06:38stress and strain stress is internal force per unit area i don't understand like she
01:06:44never even tried to talk to me instead she made this presentation about what a shitty
01:06:49roommate i am to the entire school it was so humiliating uh-huh yeah i can understand
01:06:53how that could be challenging but you know all because she had a crush on a guy who liked
01:06:57me like it's not my fault oh oh come here come here what the hell
01:07:05devin hey um this is a temporary solution are you staying here it's okay i got this
01:07:14what's up devin did you go to my brother's school this morning
01:07:16i'm sorry what are you trying to accuse me of now
01:07:21show me your bag
01:07:39did you actually take my mom's bowls oh my god devin why are you obsessed with these
01:07:43ugly ass bowls your mom is not good oh whoa whoa hey ladies let's take a deep breath okay let's
01:07:48hey stop coming for my family okay you need help maybe tell your rich dad to get you a new
01:07:52therapist no no de-escalate let's go
01:08:03okay good job all right you're all making great points but the bowl throwing is fucking
01:08:07dangerous and i think i got some shrunk on my eye i can't believe we used to be friends friends
01:08:11you made out with the guy i liked you think we just made out no um i fucked him yeah
01:08:20no i i fucked him on
01:08:21spring break i fucked him on winter break when you showed up in his little office to ask him to
01:08:26hang
01:08:26out with you yeah i was under the desk because we had just fucked so you're disgusting oh hey let's
01:08:34not let's shame anyone he didn't like you just get over it you give off kid sister vibes
01:08:43hey oh you don't have a license to operate that no no no everybody chill
01:08:51my posters you're the firefighter right you put it out
01:09:03we have to get out of here
01:09:08fire guys come on
01:09:09fucking fire oh god
01:09:13this is mine so
01:09:16hey devon let's talk
01:09:18hey you want to talk let's talk
01:09:20why are you lying about being poor because when you're rich people think your life is good
01:09:24and my life my life is not good my mom has alzheimer's and my dad's a poor story married a
01:09:28girl
01:09:28that's two years older than me and you have been rubbing your perfect fucking family in my face
01:09:34all year you could have told me that and i would have been there for you because that's what friends
01:09:38do you fucking psychopath you guys stop it we need to evacuate shut the fuck up olivia what did i
01:09:46do
01:09:46you don't know how to read the room okay well there's the fire oh yeah you got the youtube little
01:09:50stuff
01:09:50you're going to read it stop and i'm sorry to say but that is how devon killed celeste
01:10:04wow i'm kidding but devon did burn the dorm down
01:10:17whoa whoa who is this guy why is he touching you
01:10:19he's a fire okay i'm begging you guys to break up like right now break up right now
01:10:23she outed my son very publicly in his high school we always knew he was probably gay but it wasn't
01:10:28her place to do that
01:10:54it's like usc all over again sir you can't park it i'm good i'm good
01:10:57so last i'm sorry we're late baby it took forever to get the lawyers on the line
01:11:01we're so glad you're okay thanks katie
01:11:05john he's still hungry can i go feed him in the car yeah go do your thing
01:11:09did you tell mom uh no why
01:11:16what school would you like to go to next this one burned down
01:11:19i don't need to go to another school i need fucking rehab
01:11:22i have ptsd you got a fucking venereal disease
01:11:27whoa yeah that was really intense
01:11:30and that my friends is the power of good storytelling
01:11:34now everybody get the hell out of here
01:11:36that's it
01:11:39that's it
01:11:41okay
01:11:44hey
01:11:45i'm sorry for saying you smell like an italian sub
01:11:48i'm sorry for filming you sleeping thanks
01:11:52i miss us liking each other
01:11:53yeah
01:11:56bye melissa
01:11:57so cute
01:12:00thank you dr shilling
01:12:02this was great
01:12:03very healing
01:12:04so glad it helped
01:12:06um whatever happened to celeste
01:12:09well celeste ended up getting kicked out of two more schools
01:12:13so her dad finally cut her off financially
01:12:14and now
01:12:18that's hilarious
01:12:21oh my god
01:12:22that's you
01:12:23you work at staples
01:12:24now that's hilarious
01:12:28oh man
01:12:29you work at staples
01:12:31you work at staples
01:12:33you work at
01:12:34shut the fuck up
01:12:35karma's a bitch
01:12:36i just wish the end of that story wasn't such a bummer for devon
01:12:39oh my god i know
01:12:40fucking sucks
01:12:41what happened to her anyway
01:12:44she's got a new roommate
01:12:57okay wait
01:12:57this is you
01:13:02enjoy your home for the next two months
01:13:06mmm
01:13:07nice
01:13:08fresh meat
01:13:10what's your name
01:13:12chuck
01:13:13cause i grind motherfuckers like you
01:13:15into prime grade beef
01:13:18yeah okay
01:13:19let me go over a few things with you
01:13:21one
01:13:22don't touch my stuff
01:13:24two
01:13:24don't wear my clothes
01:13:26three
01:13:27don't have sex
01:13:28in my bed
01:13:29you follow these three rules
01:13:30i won't light you on fire
01:13:32when you're sleeping
01:13:35i was just kidding
01:13:36dang
01:13:38it's all good baby
01:13:39relax
01:13:40so
01:13:41i'm louise
01:13:42welcome to the pen
01:13:43okay
01:13:44i have a little cooler over here
01:13:45i got refreshments in there
01:13:46would you like some la croix
01:13:47no no i'm good
01:13:49thank you
01:13:49okay of course of course
01:13:50you got a family
01:13:51i have a brother
01:13:52he actually just came out
01:13:54of prison
01:13:54out of the closet
01:13:57well damn
01:13:58that must be like a very huge weight off his shoulders
01:14:00yeah i think it is
01:14:02okay
01:14:02where y'all from
01:14:03montclair new jersey
01:14:04montclair
01:14:04girl i brought four jerseys
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