The Mandalorian and Grogu 2026 full English Hollywood Blockbuster movie #TheMandalorianAndGrogu #TheMandalorianAndGroguMovie #PedroPascal #SigourneyWeaver #JeremyAllenWhite #SteveBlum #BrendanWayne #LateefCrowder #JonnyCoyne #MartinScorsese #JonFavreau #D
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00:00:27Laila
00:00:28Layla once said that somebody once said that all stories end in death or marriage.
00:00:35That's because somebody was a complete idiot.
00:00:44You could argue that they're more or less the same thing anyway.
00:00:47But hey, this is Layla's story, not mine.
00:00:52His note says he's dead.
00:00:58He signed it.
00:01:00And he dotted the I in his name with a little happy face.
00:01:05From this day forward, I swear to God that I will never let some lying clown tell me he loves
00:01:12me.
00:01:13Much less agree to marry him for it.
00:01:15Nonsense.
00:01:16I'll die first.
00:01:18You go to Harvard first.
00:01:20Okay, granted, getting blown off on your wedding day sucks a pretty big one.
00:01:24But, you know, hunt him down and kill him.
00:01:26Don't go all hysterical.
00:01:29I mean, what chick hasn't sworn off boys at some point in her life?
00:01:33Really, they're like cigarettes.
00:01:36You try out a few in the woods behind school.
00:01:39You puke.
00:01:40You give them up.
00:01:41But right around that third jello shot, they start to sound pretty good again.
00:01:46And while we're at it, what guy hasn't had his most tender lies, well, you know, burnt up?
00:01:56What I'm trying to say is you get over it.
00:02:00Unless, of course, you're still a virgin.
00:02:03Then it can take a while.
00:02:07A long while.
00:02:10A long while.
00:02:32I'm trying to say the truth will reveal you now.
00:02:36What?
00:02:37What?
00:02:38What?
00:02:38What?
00:02:39What?
00:02:39What?
00:02:40What kind of sparkly now?
00:02:42Mm-hmm.
00:03:08So 12 years later, and Layla's suite remains the poster child for me.
00:03:12Purity.
00:03:14Gorgeous.
00:03:15Virtuous.
00:03:17Clearest.
00:03:18Lost in the sexual woods with a big moral compass, but without the thing they put in the compass
00:03:23to make it actually point somewhere.
00:03:24And if on the bright side she has one male friend, note that he's on the end of the leash
00:03:29and is named after an antidepressant.
00:03:31Come on, Paxel.
00:03:33Let's post them.
00:03:35Come on.
00:03:40Good boy.
00:03:47What do you call this?
00:03:49It doesn't have a name.
00:03:51Where's Paxel?
00:03:52He's afraid of you.
00:03:54Well, try it at least, dear.
00:03:55It's full of vitamins and great slimming.
00:03:58Is your sister joining us?
00:03:59She's on the phone with Donald.
00:04:01Oh, yes.
00:04:03Donald.
00:04:03He's a very nice boy.
00:04:05Good family.
00:04:06John is toast.
00:04:07He's about to be our son-in-law.
00:04:10Must be great in the sheets.
00:04:11Ernest.
00:04:12What?
00:04:14Like you both haven't thought the same thing?
00:04:16No, you probably haven't.
00:04:18Oh, my God.
00:04:19What now?
00:04:21Mmm.
00:04:23It's quite slimming.
00:04:24Hmm.
00:04:26Here we are.
00:04:28So, ready for the big day?
00:04:30I guess.
00:04:31It's going to be a beautiful ceremony.
00:04:34I booked St. Andrews.
00:04:35Yeah.
00:04:36Ernest.
00:04:37You're quite a grouchy uncle, aren't you?
00:04:40Ignore him.
00:04:41You just fell off the horse once.
00:04:42That's all.
00:04:43I think she got bucked off.
00:04:45You're right again, sweetie.
00:04:46In a great big billowing white dress.
00:04:49Okay.
00:04:50Can I remind you all that I am not marriage-minded?
00:04:53I hate love.
00:04:55I hate weddings.
00:04:57Except for yours.
00:04:59And I hate white dresses.
00:05:02Obviously.
00:05:03You burned a perfectly good one to billowing gray ashes.
00:05:07Okay.
00:05:08I have to go.
00:05:09I'm late for the park.
00:05:11Come on, Paxil.
00:05:13Oh, sweetie, don't.
00:05:18How can you be late to a park?
00:05:22Bye.
00:05:29Listen to this.
00:05:31Researchers announced that male dogs raised in New York City are at an increased risk to develop medical problems,
00:05:38including anxiety, skin rashes, depression, tooth decay, hypochondria, and impotence.
00:05:44Oh, that's so sad.
00:05:52Here you go.
00:06:06Yours?
00:06:07Me?
00:06:09No.
00:06:11Mine.
00:06:12Paxil.
00:06:14Very fuzzy head.
00:06:21Yours?
00:06:22Well, it's my sister's.
00:06:24They steal them on Sundays.
00:06:28Uh, we were just about to leave.
00:06:30I don't suppose you'd want to get a cup of coffee with us?
00:06:33I wouldn't.
00:06:34You would?
00:06:35Oh, no.
00:06:35I was just wondering why you thought that I wouldn't.
00:06:38So you want.
00:06:40I actually don't do this.
00:06:43What?
00:06:44The talking to you part.
00:06:45I understand.
00:06:47Thanks, though.
00:06:48Sure.
00:07:01Come over.
00:07:01I can do this.
00:07:05Bye.
00:07:06Bye.
00:07:10Bye.
00:07:15Bye.
00:07:31Daddy!
00:07:43Daddy!
00:07:45Daddy!
00:07:46Hi, honey.
00:07:51Daddy, relax!
00:08:08Somebody once said that nostalgia is the rust of memory.
00:08:13Now that one I agree with.
00:08:18See, people's brains are basically oysters.
00:08:20All mucousy and gross.
00:08:23But there's always a grain of sand inside trying to annoy the oyster into making a pearl.
00:08:27And not a bogus pearl, either.
00:08:29One with some value.
00:08:31One with some weight.
00:08:33The kind you cast before swine.
00:08:36Come on, Paxil.
00:08:37Come on.
00:08:42Of course, there is such a thing as a false pearl.
00:08:51The ten of rods.
00:08:53You know, it looks like the bartender at Vivisection.
00:08:56Ugh.
00:08:57What?
00:08:58Good morning, boss.
00:09:00Good morning, boss.
00:09:02The help from Slacker Hell.
00:09:05That's me with the marble.
00:09:07Remind me to nominate you employee of the month.
00:09:11Remind you?
00:09:12Isn't that what's-its job?
00:09:14Post-its.
00:09:15Prozac.
00:09:16Paxil.
00:09:19Then again, if this guy was your only customer, how hard would you work?
00:09:24Welcome to Sweet's Muffin Shop.
00:09:27Would you like to hear a list of our muffins today?
00:09:32What's your problem?
00:09:33Layla wants us to be nice to the customers.
00:09:37All right, Dottie.
00:09:38Let me hear a list of your muffins today.
00:09:43We have...cranberry?
00:09:47I'll have one of those.
00:09:48Okay.
00:09:53What happened to your arm?
00:09:55You get shot?
00:09:56Hm.
00:09:57It's a nicotine patch.
00:09:58Ugh.
00:09:59Like you don't get enough from smoking.
00:10:04Hey, Layla.
00:10:06Hello.
00:10:07See you tomorrow, Dottie.
00:10:08Will you lock up?
00:10:09Sure.
00:10:09You wanna come out with us tonight?
00:10:10We're gonna get tattoos.
00:10:11Um, I already have plans.
00:10:16All I said was hey.
00:10:20It's like I'm invisible.
00:10:25T'was brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the way.
00:10:30All mimsy were the borogoves, and the moan wrath's outgrave.
00:10:35Oh.
00:10:35I remember that one.
00:10:37I'm the faintest idea what it means.
00:10:39I have a picture of Evie and me here as kids.
00:10:42Yes, I know, dear.
00:10:43I took it.
00:10:43You were six.
00:10:46Mammy, are you sorry that you never had children of your own?
00:10:49But I do.
00:10:49I have two beautiful daughters.
00:10:51You know what I mean.
00:10:52Hmm?
00:10:54I don't think children were ever an option for me.
00:10:56Or for your uncle.
00:10:59What's on your mind, sweetie?
00:11:02I wanna have a baby.
00:11:05Immaculately?
00:11:06Vaginally.
00:11:09Oh, dear.
00:11:13This is not a pretty mental picture.
00:11:15Gee, thanks.
00:11:16No, seriously.
00:11:17I can't even get your clothes off.
00:11:19Evie!
00:11:20Layla, I'm sorry.
00:11:21It's just that for ten years you have been locked up tighter than a nun.
00:11:25And now all of a sudden you want the Kama Sutra.
00:11:28Just the part that gets you pregnant.
00:11:31Okay.
00:11:33Well, you know, there are working parts.
00:11:36I don't know.
00:11:37Penis?
00:11:39Good.
00:12:01Make sure you lose the panties.
00:12:06What?
00:12:07Nothing.
00:12:10You're not wearing panties?
00:12:12No.
00:12:13I'm wearing underwear.
00:12:14You don't see men running around in...
00:12:17Panties?
00:12:18Maybe in a perfect world.
00:12:21Fine.
00:12:23Job.
00:12:24Excuse me?
00:12:28Occupation.
00:12:29I run a muffin shop.
00:12:31Gee, that's what I do.
00:12:34Shouldn't I be getting undressed now?
00:12:37Oh, sure.
00:12:38The doctor will be beating the door down any minute now.
00:12:40Okay.
00:13:27I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
00:13:31I'm Dr. Kirk.
00:13:34As in Beverly?
00:13:37Yes, my mother claims it's British.
00:13:39Uh, this really is quite the horrifying coincidence.
00:13:43I could refer you to a colleague.
00:13:44No, thank you.
00:13:46That won't be necessary.
00:13:49Horrifying?
00:13:50Not, of course, what I meant at all.
00:13:52Embarrassing is what I meant.
00:13:54I mean, for me, that is.
00:13:57Uh, do you know that's on backwards?
00:14:00I thought it was supposed to be.
00:14:02Uh, not here.
00:14:03Oh.
00:14:05Well, I could turn it around if...
00:14:07No, we'll manage.
00:14:22So, you'd like to start a family.
00:14:24Oh, that's lovely.
00:14:26Uh, I noticed you answered the sex question now.
00:14:29Yes.
00:14:31I see.
00:14:34How long have you and your partner been trying to conceive?
00:14:37I don't have a donor.
00:14:40As of yet.
00:14:44Artificial insemination?
00:14:46No, thank you.
00:14:48Right.
00:14:50I'll tell you what.
00:14:50Let's, uh, start with the routine exam.
00:14:53And, uh, when you leave, I'll recommend an population kit.
00:14:56The instructions are on the package.
00:14:59Oh.
00:15:01Sorry.
00:15:01I...
00:15:02I was bored.
00:15:04It can be erased.
00:15:06You wrote this?
00:15:08It's, uh...
00:15:09Ben Casey.
00:15:11Yeah.
00:15:12Yeah.
00:15:19I can't remember the one for birth.
00:15:22Doctor?
00:15:24Doctor.
00:15:25Yes, of course.
00:15:26I'm sorry.
00:15:28Right.
00:15:29Right.
00:15:32Um...
00:15:39I'm having trouble finding a, uh...
00:15:41Oh, your, your ears are on your, your neck.
00:15:45Go on, I'd...
00:15:47Would you be more comfortable if the nurse were present?
00:15:50No.
00:15:51No, thank you.
00:15:54Yeah.
00:15:58Oh.
00:16:14Wait, did you lock it?
00:16:16Yeah, I locked it.
00:16:18Mm-hmm.
00:16:18Mm-hmm.
00:16:20She didn't lock it.
00:16:23She didn't give you the wrong key.
00:16:24No, no, no.
00:16:25I don't want it.
00:16:26Is the customer...
00:16:27I don't want it.
00:16:27You were just in there.
00:16:29Mm-hmm.
00:16:34Mm-hmm.
00:16:41Mm-hmm.
00:16:41Mm-hmm.
00:16:42Mm-hmm.
00:16:42Mm-hmm.
00:16:42Mm-hmm.
00:16:43Mm-hmm.
00:16:44Mm-hmm.
00:16:47Mm-hmm.
00:16:48Mm-hmm.
00:16:51I'm sure you want his birthday party to be special.
00:16:54Who wouldn't?
00:16:57Hello?
00:16:59I'm not the person who rents out clowns.
00:17:01You mistakenly called my number when you were trying to reach clowns to go.
00:17:04Their number's the same as mine, but in the 718 area code.
00:17:07Hello?
00:17:08Mrs. Barrows?
00:17:09Hello?
00:17:09Hi.
00:17:10My name's Layla Sweet.
00:17:11I'm not the person who rents out clowns.
00:17:12You mistakenly called my number when you were trying to reach clowns to go.
00:17:15See, their number's the same as mine, but in the 718 area code.
00:17:20I get a lot of calls from people looking for clowns and...
00:17:24You know those people who say, get a life?
00:17:27Sure.
00:17:28I'll hold.
00:17:30Well, if you're a single, sexually challenged babe in the big city,
00:17:34this is a life.
00:17:36That is, until an actual one shows up.
00:18:03I saw Evie yesterday.
00:18:05How is your sister?
00:18:07Good.
00:18:07She's working on another fish story for the magazine.
00:18:11One uses the Ivy League education I paid for to write about food,
00:18:15the other to serve it.
00:18:16There they are.
00:18:18I think she's getting cold feet.
00:18:19That's perfectly normal.
00:18:21Oh, that reminds me.
00:18:22I have to check some measurements for your dress.
00:18:24Oh, not today, Mammy.
00:18:25Please.
00:18:28I understand you've got a new doctor.
00:18:30Are there any secrets in this family?
00:18:32How did you find him?
00:18:34Handsome?
00:18:35Competent.
00:18:37Bull feathers.
00:18:38He's a hunk.
00:18:40How would you know?
00:18:41Evie emailed his file.
00:18:44Oh, God.
00:18:45If you can't give it up for a cute single doctor,
00:18:49I'll shoot your dog.
00:18:51He's not trying to pressure you, dear.
00:18:52Yes, I am.
00:18:56When I say push, you have to push hard.
00:18:59And don't freak out if there's a little blood, okay?
00:19:01Won't it hurt?
00:19:02For a little while.
00:19:03Just make sure it goes all the way through
00:19:05and catch the needle with the cork.
00:19:07Okay.
00:19:08Got any cream?
00:19:09Check the fridge.
00:19:11We're out.
00:19:13Okay, you ready?
00:19:14Mm-hmm.
00:19:15Alright.
00:19:17One, two, three, go!
00:19:20Ow.
00:19:22Okay, good, good, good, good.
00:19:24Good, um, just let it stay until it takes.
00:19:27Tell me if you think I've got this right.
00:19:30Attractive, intelligent, self-employed woman,
00:19:33not 30, virgin,
00:19:35seeks potent, genetically sound man,
00:19:3725 to 44, short-term sex.
00:19:40No romantics or commitment seekers, please.
00:19:57So, you mentioned in your questionnaire that you have, um, four kids.
00:20:03Can I ask if you're still in touch with them?
00:20:06Well, as much as the next guy, I suppose.
00:20:09We know teenagers, they have a mind of their own.
00:20:12So your wife has custody.
00:20:14You know, custody, divorce.
00:20:20You are divorced.
00:20:29Actually, uh, where I come from, I'm-I'm known as being large.
00:20:34And, uh, do you want to see?
00:20:36No.
00:20:36Oh, okay.
00:20:38I'll put the doggy in a pound for you, baby.
00:20:40I'll get you barking like a coon hound.
00:20:44I'm just really horny.
00:20:46Woo!
00:20:47I don't shit planks. Full metal jacket.
00:20:50I once had an erection for-for 19 and a half hours.
00:20:54You sure you don't want to take a little peek?
00:20:57Also, the idea of not paying for sex is-is a new idea to me.
00:21:06You know, I almost didn't come over.
00:21:09The whole thing just seemed so, I don't know, clinical.
00:21:14Then I realized the sacrifice you were making for this baby.
00:21:17I thought, well, maybe I could help.
00:21:21Maybe I was chosen to help.
00:21:25That the Virgin of the Plains was risen.
00:21:27And that I, the foul spawn of indifference,
00:21:31had found purchase on the honeyed trail.
00:21:51I'm sorry, no more men.
00:21:53What?
00:21:55No interviews.
00:21:57Don't want one.
00:21:58Who are you?
00:22:03What are you supposed to be?
00:22:04What do you mean what?
00:22:05Slappy the Clown.
00:22:11Nothing rings a bell?
00:22:14What kind of childhood did you have that you don't know Slappy the Clown when he comes to your own
00:22:17front door?
00:22:18I heard of him.
00:22:19I just thought he was cuter.
00:22:22I brought you these.
00:22:25Don't you frighten the children?
00:22:28I just want to thank you for referring all those calls to Clowns To Go.
00:22:32Hey, you!
00:22:34Tickles!
00:22:36It's Slappy, okay?
00:22:38And eat me, pal.
00:22:41Well, I'm sorry to bother you.
00:22:44Here.
00:22:50Bye.
00:23:22Stay back, lady.
00:23:23I...
00:23:23What?
00:23:24I'm sorry.
00:23:26I just don't want any menus.
00:23:28Did I ask you if you wanted any menus, lady?
00:23:30I didn't ask you if you wanted any menus.
00:23:32I don't care if you want menus.
00:23:34Well, I don't.
00:23:36Good.
00:23:36Because I don't want to crawl around like a reptile passing the damn things out.
00:23:40Oh, poor you.
00:23:43Right.
00:23:43Poor me.
00:23:45If I don't hand these out, I don't eat.
00:23:47Well, if you'd bothered to read my sign, none of this would have happened.
00:23:52I read your sign.
00:23:54I ignore it.
00:23:55That's how I make money.
00:23:57And anyhow, aren't you a bit attractive to be doling out menus for a living?
00:24:03What's that supposed to mean?
00:24:05Nothing.
00:24:06Except you could be, like, a supermodel.
00:24:09Then I definitely couldn't eat.
00:24:12Fine.
00:24:13Fine.
00:24:14So, what do you want to be?
00:24:16According to my MFA, I am a poet.
00:24:19Really?
00:24:19I love poetry.
00:24:21Say one.
00:24:23What am I?
00:24:24A jukebox?
00:24:26Oh, come on.
00:24:28It'll be fun.
00:24:30We could go get coffee and muffins.
00:24:33Do you think I need a date?
00:24:43Me?
00:24:43I'd have this guy in a bondage chair with a rubber ball in his mouth.
00:24:47But Layla's going the stale coffee, burnt pastry route.
00:24:51We should probably have a talk.
00:25:00Let me guess.
00:25:02A donut?
00:25:02That's not mine.
00:25:18What are you looking at?
00:25:20Him.
00:25:22He's a friend.
00:25:24Okay.
00:25:25How'd you find a friend?
00:25:27On the street.
00:25:28He's a starving artist.
00:25:30That explains the donut.
00:25:33It's not a donut.
00:25:35And, uh, I have to take it somewhere.
00:25:38So, when he gets up, give him whatever he wants.
00:25:41Don't worry.
00:25:42And then, you know, show him the ropes.
00:25:44We don't have ropes around here, Layla.
00:25:46If we did, we'd hang ourselves.
00:25:48So, what's he gonna do?
00:25:50What you do.
00:25:52Do you think he can handle it?
00:25:57We're supposed to tell you what to do around here.
00:26:00As you can see, business isn't an issue.
00:26:04But there is something that desperately needs doing.
00:26:10The cheese?
00:26:13The balls.
00:26:14You have to tell her about the birds and the bees.
00:26:17They fly.
00:26:18No, no, no, no, no.
00:26:19Um, you have to tell her how to get boned.
00:26:24Consider it done.
00:26:27You did her?
00:26:30She's been clued.
00:26:32Right here?
00:26:34Right here.
00:26:35Six hours of good, hard, honest.
00:26:39Talking.
00:26:42Is that a slam?
00:26:44She was a bit confused about the penis.
00:26:47Who isn't?
00:26:48Straight up.
00:26:49You guys make the worst muffins I've ever tasted.
00:26:53The customer likes them.
00:27:03What?
00:27:04What?
00:27:33Who?
00:27:41Who?
00:27:51Who?
00:27:52Who?
00:27:52Who?
00:27:52Who?
00:27:54Who?
00:27:57I don't have an appointment.
00:28:00No, please.
00:28:00Please come in.
00:28:06Sorry about Timmy.
00:28:08He's mad at his mother for being pregnant.
00:28:11Me too.
00:28:12Let me get your towel.
00:28:20Here. It's birth.
00:28:22Oh, you found it.
00:28:24It's kind of messy.
00:28:26Well, it usually is.
00:28:27Um, huh.
00:28:30Here.
00:28:31Sit.
00:28:36Um, circles.
00:28:39Uh, I don't remember circles.
00:28:46So.
00:28:47Uh, I have your, uh,
00:28:49your test results back.
00:28:51And everything looks normal.
00:28:52I'm normal.
00:28:53Well, not normal.
00:28:55Uh, that sounds like average, which of course I don't mean.
00:28:58Uh, you're certainly way, way above average.
00:29:00Like, uh, I don't know, uh, spectacular.
00:29:06Uh, the point being, uh, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to have a child.
00:29:11If you want to.
00:29:13Would you...
00:29:14Would you like a grapefruit juice?
00:29:17Ulcer.
00:29:17Ulcer, yes.
00:29:18You mentioned that.
00:29:19You read my chart then.
00:29:21Uh, I'm nearly through it.
00:29:23Uh, you have wonderful penmanship.
00:29:24I suppose I was a little thorough.
00:29:27I don't know.
00:29:27I learned you have very good teeth.
00:29:29Not that that matters to me, of course.
00:29:31And that, uh, we had a fine education.
00:29:34Uh, which you used to, uh, uh, to become a waitress in a donut shop.
00:29:41Proprietor.
00:29:42Muffins.
00:29:43Uh, that your height and weight are perfect.
00:29:45Uh, not to mention your skin, of course, and your eyes.
00:29:53Would you go out with me?
00:29:56I-I really can't.
00:29:58Of course not.
00:29:59I'm sorry.
00:30:00Not that I'm against it.
00:30:01Just that it leads to, you know...
00:30:03Indicourse.
00:30:05You got pretty far in my chart.
00:30:08I was actually referring to love and marriage.
00:30:11Those two, I don't do.
00:30:14The other thing, well, I just haven't done yet.
00:30:18That's why I'm here.
00:30:25That's not birth.
00:30:26What?
00:30:27Well, it's not a donut.
00:30:28It's an upside down triangle.
00:30:31Your source?
00:30:32The what?
00:30:33Yours?
00:30:34A poet?
00:30:36I think we got a loser.
00:30:38Thank you, Jean.
00:30:47Well, I should go.
00:30:50Timmy's probably out there squirting things.
00:30:52Uh, I just wanted to give birth to you.
00:30:57The sign.
00:30:58Oh.
00:31:00Yeah.
00:31:02Yeah.
00:31:04Okay.
00:31:28Hey.
00:31:29Hey, hey.
00:31:30Timmy.
00:31:31This is not a toy.
00:31:33Okay?
00:31:33You understand?
00:31:34You could seriously hurt somebody with one of these.
00:31:39Is Mr. Peters here?
00:31:44Here.
00:31:59Where'd he get food?
00:32:03Who's he?
00:32:05A stray. Layla adopted him.
00:32:09Hey, who are you?
00:32:12Strictly need to know, basis.
00:32:17Where's Layla? She's not upstairs.
00:32:19Sorry.
00:32:21Tight ship as usual, girls.
00:32:22This place is like the Microsoft of muffin shops.
00:32:26Thanks.
00:32:28Nice day.
00:32:36Your skin and bones.
00:32:38I'm gonna make you a tin roof.
00:32:41It's your uncle's favorite.
00:32:43Every bite could kill him.
00:32:47Mammy, you're kinda like a woman, right?
00:32:51It's a good thing I love you, dear.
00:32:54You know what I mean. You're softer than uncle.
00:32:57Thank you, sweetie.
00:33:01Do you still have sex with him?
00:33:05You do know that normal people don't talk like this.
00:33:10When you do, does a big bell go off or something?
00:33:13Because I've interviewed some men,
00:33:15and I don't think I have a bell, Mammy.
00:33:19It's just in a different key, dear.
00:33:22You have to wait for the right song.
00:33:44Where did L STEUAN routine?
00:33:49And I know my friends.
00:33:51I know my friends!
00:33:52I know my friends!
00:33:53I knew his friends were lucky and helped,
00:33:56but I tried to stay.
00:33:57I knew their friends,
00:33:59but I couldn't hold this together.
00:34:05The original Movies Rachel 3
00:34:05Of my prison
00:34:07With blue and gray for the skies and bold
00:34:10Framed inside
00:34:13With a shadow
00:34:15Anything alone
00:34:20Yeah, I had to go, but I won't pass him
00:34:24I've got better things to do
00:34:28Like writing stories and painting pictures
00:34:32Of anything alone
00:35:09That's about the children!
00:35:11I love the story about a couple
00:35:17Still apart from an old movie
00:35:21You can tell what inspired you
00:35:25Or anything alone
00:35:30Yeah, I had to go, but I won't pass him
00:35:35I've got better things to do
00:35:39Like writing stories and painting pictures
00:35:43Of anything alone
00:35:47Anything but love
00:35:50I've got better things to do
00:35:50I've got better things to do
00:35:51I've got better things to do
00:36:06It's a robot
00:36:14Oof, this is a robot
00:36:21I'm with Mammy choosing linens or something.
00:36:24Oh, I left you some goodies today.
00:36:27Have you picked a guy yet? Call me.
00:36:31Uh, hi. My son is having a birthday party on the 17th.
00:36:35Hello?
00:36:35I was wondering if you had someone who makes balloon animals, especially pigs.
00:36:38Please let me know. My number is...
00:36:40Hello?
00:36:42Hello, you there?
00:36:44Hi.
00:36:47Who are you?
00:36:49It's me, Slappy.
00:36:50You're not Slappy. He's got blue hair.
00:36:54All right, so I'm the gingerbread man.
00:36:56Do you think I could come upstairs and change my clothes, please?
00:37:00Why?
00:37:01Because I'm a cookie.
00:37:03Hey, you. Yeah, you. Ginger snack.
00:37:06What?
00:37:07Fuck off!
00:37:11Do you have a business card?
00:37:18Eddie. Head clown.
00:37:24Paxil. Head dog. I'm Layla.
00:37:29Do you think I could use your...
00:37:31Oh, yeah, sure. It's right back there.
00:37:33Thanks. Excuse me.
00:37:34Go.
00:37:38Oh.
00:38:03What are you having?
00:38:06Oh, I've changed my mind.
00:38:10Would you like anything at all along the lines of milk?
00:38:17Do you have anything along the lines of tequila?
00:38:21I've had a long day.
00:38:23There's a bottle up there of scotch, but it's ten years old,
00:38:28and the label on it warns you that it was twelve years to begin with.
00:38:43Looks like you could use some, too.
00:38:45Me? No, I haven't had any since I was eighteen.
00:38:52Alcohol.
00:38:53I got dumped, I got depressed, and I drank a whole bottle of Luna and...
00:38:58Ooh.
00:38:59Mm-hmm.
00:39:00What kind of peckerhead would dump a babe like you?
00:39:04I bet you say that to all the girls.
00:39:22What's with the guard dog?
00:39:25Well, he wasn't as pretty as the collies, so they dumped him.
00:39:28Who dumped him?
00:39:30He's rich in different owners.
00:39:33Some people shouldn't have dogs.
00:39:36And others who truly deserve them can't have them.
00:39:39Like who?
00:39:41Orphans.
00:39:42Orphans do not have beautiful dogs with little red collars.
00:39:47What about Annie?
00:39:48She's an exception.
00:39:51She's a cartoon.
00:39:55So, what do you have?
00:39:58Ugh.
00:40:01What's good?
00:40:05Drink up.
00:40:07Drink, drink, drink.
00:40:11Thanks.
00:40:12N.
00:40:14Okay.
00:40:16Nepal.
00:40:21Lysiltho.
00:40:23Oh, la-la.
00:40:26Um...
00:40:27O.
00:40:31There aren't any O's.
00:40:32There's one.
00:40:35Okinawa.
00:40:37That's not a country.
00:40:38Ah, that's another drink right there.
00:40:41No fair, you've played this before.
00:40:44All right, more ice.
00:40:54I fed myself.
00:40:56Good for you.
00:41:01Have a girl.
00:41:03I'm trying, I'm trying, okay?
00:41:05Don't pressure me.
00:41:08Wait, you're married?
00:41:10No.
00:41:12Gay?
00:41:14No.
00:41:16Well, help me out here, Layla.
00:41:28That's my sex life.
00:41:31I'm like a total virgin.
00:41:40Will you show me?
00:41:42How?
00:41:46Um, well, your lips were a little, a little bit slack.
00:41:50You might want to, uh, just...
00:41:57To me.
00:42:15You'll do.
00:42:17You'll do.
00:42:34Last night, I got loaded on a bottle of whiskey, on a bottle of whiskey.
00:42:44Last night, I got loaded on a bottle of whiskey, on a bottle of whiskey.
00:42:52You know I feel all right, feel all right, feel all right, feel all right.
00:43:02I've been a little bit of a bottle of whiskey.
00:43:02Yeah.
00:43:22Not yet, I've been a little bit of a bottle of whiskey.
00:43:25But I never would've got that.
00:43:29So you didn't actually have sex then?
00:43:30No, not according to the evidence.
00:43:33Well, good.
00:43:35Look, I mean, most people like to at least remember their first time
00:43:39so they can pretend years later they enjoyed it.
00:43:41Look, I want tips.
00:43:44Hard tips.
00:43:45Hard as bullets.
00:43:47I want it to be scary.
00:43:49Tips?
00:43:51Positions.
00:43:52Good ones.
00:43:53I have to answer you?
00:43:55You're my doctor.
00:43:56Yes.
00:43:58Well, there's a school of thought
00:44:01which believes that conception may be more likely to occur
00:44:06if one were to...
00:44:09Well, if you were to get up on one's...
00:44:16off-force,
00:44:18helping to attaining a sperm near the cervix.
00:44:23Sperm near the cervix?
00:44:24Then, after, you might want to roll over on one's, uh...
00:44:31Back?
00:44:32Good.
00:44:33That's so that you're long.
00:44:34You're, uh, or up in the air.
00:44:36My legs.
00:44:36That would be fine.
00:44:39And...
00:44:40Bradley takes over.
00:44:44Gee, doesn't sound like much fun.
00:44:46Speak for yourself.
00:44:56Bad night, dear?
00:44:58I got drunk and kissed a clam.
00:45:00But that's wonderful.
00:45:03I went to the doctor.
00:45:05You don't need a doctor.
00:45:07It got worse at the doctors.
00:45:09It's about love, isn't it?
00:45:11That sickly blue sheen under your skin.
00:45:14An affair of the heart can be wretchedly blue.
00:45:17People have perished.
00:45:19It's alcohol, not love.
00:45:22There's nothing wrong in a little champagne,
00:45:24in moderation, and on the right occasion.
00:45:26What about a tidal wave of scotch?
00:45:29Washes away the inhibitions.
00:45:31Very instrumental in the bedding of your uncle.
00:45:33And look how that turned out.
00:45:36Oh, Lord.
00:45:37Your uncle, the fitting.
00:45:40What's the fitting?
00:45:42Baby sister's big day.
00:45:43The maid of honor.
00:45:44I left Ernest in a love car.
00:45:47Today's the final fitting.
00:45:50When was the first?
00:45:51Well, honey, you're not the bride.
00:45:53Well, of course, you will be one.
00:45:56Again.
00:45:57Oh, there's everybody's coat.
00:46:00Just bring me a dress.
00:46:01I don't even care if it fits.
00:46:02I don't care if I'm going to be one of the best.
00:46:04Yumi Katsuru waits for no one.
00:46:08She outfitted the nutcracker.
00:46:13I don't see how one person can forget about another person
00:46:17when that person is sitting downstairs in a car
00:46:21for an hour.
00:46:2320 minutes max.
00:46:2540 bucks minimum.
00:46:27Where's Evie?
00:46:29You tell her.
00:46:31She's not in the mood.
00:46:33It's her wedding.
00:46:34I'm not in the mood.
00:46:35The important thing is,
00:46:37the only thing is,
00:46:38there is going to be a wedding.
00:46:39What about the dress?
00:46:42Tell her.
00:46:43You tell her.
00:46:45Tell me what?
00:46:48No.
00:46:50Absolutely not.
00:46:51I do not wear gowns.
00:46:53You can, and you will.
00:46:57Oh, no.
00:46:58Don't worry.
00:46:59You've got another jiffy.
00:47:01And you're practically the same size as Evie,
00:47:03except for the rise.
00:47:04And there is no rise.
00:47:05And of course,
00:47:06the little white panties.
00:47:08How do you do?
00:47:10Is this the joyful bride?
00:47:12No.
00:47:13Do I detect a few jitters?
00:47:15You detect a bottle of scotch.
00:47:18Where's the dumb dress?
00:47:19Please excuse my extra niece.
00:47:22She poo-poos love and marriage.
00:47:24Ah, the single sister of the bride.
00:47:28Poor child.
00:47:29For this poor child,
00:47:30we'll also need something in white.
00:47:32As we mentioned,
00:47:33we're planning an all-white wedding.
00:47:35This one actually is a virgin.
00:47:37The bride, of course, is not.
00:47:39Yes.
00:47:40Don't worry.
00:47:42When a young woman puts on a wedding dress,
00:47:44even someone else's,
00:47:45she's positively transformed.
00:48:09Tonight,
00:48:12when I go and lay myself down,
00:48:16Will I dream?
00:48:19Will I dream?
00:48:24Tonight?
00:48:27Where are you?
00:48:29Where am I?
00:48:31In a dream.
00:48:34In a dream.
00:48:38Fly me away
00:48:41Till the moon and the stars
00:48:45Fly away
00:48:51So far
00:49:03You're a bad boy
00:49:05No, I'm not
00:49:08Yes, you are
00:49:10No, I'm not
00:49:12Yes, you are
00:49:13No, I'm not
00:49:14No, I'm not
00:49:19Spartacus?
00:49:21Me, Addie
00:49:24You look like
00:49:25Spartacus
00:49:25Then you look like
00:49:27a lot of people
00:49:29Why are you crying?
00:49:32Because I barfed on
00:49:33my sister's wedding dress
00:49:36You can tell me
00:49:38I just did
00:49:40Come on, Layla
00:49:44You're trying to get me
00:49:45To say that I'm
00:49:46Crying
00:49:48Well, that I'm
00:49:49Really crying
00:49:49Because
00:49:51I once was a kid
00:49:54And
00:49:55I once had parents
00:49:58And I once had
00:49:59Secret hopes
00:50:00Some dreams
00:50:02But I'm afraid
00:50:03That that's not it
00:50:05It's that
00:50:06I threw up
00:50:07On my sister's dress
00:50:09My uncles
00:50:10Will have it cleaned
00:50:10But still
00:50:11My sister
00:50:11My little baby sister
00:50:13Has to get married
00:50:14In a dress
00:50:14That I barfed on
00:50:16Once you barf on it
00:50:18They make you buy it
00:50:20Bastards
00:50:23One look
00:50:24I'm talking about
00:50:26One
00:50:28And suddenly
00:50:29I am
00:50:30I'm in this vortex
00:50:32Of some giant
00:50:33Sucking
00:50:35Unfathomably
00:50:36Forceful
00:50:39Force
00:50:41We're still talking
00:50:42About the virgin
00:50:43Right?
00:50:44It's more like
00:50:45A great big
00:50:46Thundering speedball
00:50:48Of a
00:50:49Rushing
00:50:50Toady
00:50:51Flood
00:50:54You know
00:50:54I feel like
00:50:56Lust
00:50:59Dread
00:51:00Dread
00:51:01The kind of dread
00:51:01That perfect women
00:51:02Inspire
00:51:04I'm married
00:51:06She writes five
00:51:07TV show words
00:51:08On my blackboard
00:51:09And I run with it
00:51:10Boy do I run with it
00:51:11Let it out
00:51:16I don't completely
00:51:17Remember last night
00:51:19You were toast
00:51:21Still I should thank you
00:51:22For being such a gentleman
00:51:23You were a tad
00:51:25Unconscious at the time
00:51:26They have laws about that
00:51:28Gee you're like
00:51:29The perfect clown
00:51:32Not a clown now
00:51:34No
00:51:35You're a vulcanized gladiator
00:51:37I saw the movie
00:51:40Touch my chest
00:51:43It's so cold
00:51:44And synthetic
00:51:44But inside beats
00:51:46The heart of a lion
00:51:48Noble Roman
00:51:49The sword
00:51:51Is out to your service
00:51:53Would you be so shamelessly used
00:51:57I'm Spartacus
00:52:00You really do deserve
00:52:01To wear the skirt
00:52:08Hands
00:52:09Put your hands
00:52:10Put your hands
00:52:11Put your hands
00:52:11Alright here we go
00:52:15That's it
00:52:16Goodbye Donna
00:52:19Okay what happened next
00:52:20Don't have a full details
00:52:21So then you took off his helmet
00:52:25And he kissed me
00:52:27A lot
00:52:28All over
00:52:29And you were awake
00:52:32That's so gross
00:52:34Breastplate on earth
00:52:35Oh my god
00:52:38This is just like ice cold
00:52:41Did you touch it?
00:52:43I laughed at it
00:52:44No
00:52:45No
00:52:46Leila
00:52:46No
00:52:47He took it out
00:52:48I laughed
00:52:49And he laughed
00:52:50That's all
00:52:52That's all
00:52:53I knew that's probably enough
00:52:57I told you I'd have to trip that shit here
00:53:01Love you baby
00:53:02Yeah
00:53:03Come on now
00:53:06He's quite graceful
00:53:09He's rich
00:53:12He's gorgeous
00:53:16He's perfect in bed
00:53:21Oh god
00:53:47Hey boss
00:53:48Haven't seen you in a while
00:53:49Where were all these people
00:53:52Customers
00:53:53When do we get customers?
00:53:57Here's the deal
00:53:58Harvard
00:53:59From now on
00:54:00The menu's whatever I decide to cook
00:54:03I set the prices according to who's buying
00:54:07Lawyers can no longer refer to it here
00:54:09Hey
00:54:10I'm a lawyer
00:54:11Who's this guy?
00:54:13He hates that question
00:54:14How would you know?
00:54:20I get no salary
00:54:21About 10% of the gross
00:54:23We close on Wednesdays
00:54:25Because I don't like Wednesdays
00:54:27And we are close on Sundays
00:54:29Because I do like Sundays
00:54:30But it's possible
00:54:32That I will leave at any time
00:54:34Do we have an understanding?
00:54:37Are you wanted or something?
00:54:38Good one Donald
00:54:39Say yes boss
00:54:42Can you get her here by 6am?
00:54:44Nose rings set and shined
00:54:46Doubtful
00:54:47Very very doubtful
00:54:50So
00:54:51Who's angry?
00:54:53Akiri
00:54:53What about you?
00:54:55I don't know how to price your meal
00:54:59Layla
00:55:01Uh
00:55:03Eddie
00:55:04Listen
00:55:05I don't know what got into me last night
00:55:08I'm not a dad
00:55:10Some clown
00:55:11Last night?
00:55:13It's a long story
00:55:15So this is slappy?
00:55:17All the good names were taken
00:55:19Could we take this?
00:55:25Listen Layla
00:55:26I'm beginning to feel a little bit objectified here
00:55:31Defender?
00:55:33Oh good
00:55:34Children
00:55:35Are you really the defender?
00:55:38Sure why not?
00:55:39And you gotta help her
00:55:41She's sick
00:55:47How is she?
00:55:49Mildly hypothermic
00:55:50A little weak
00:55:50She'll be fine
00:55:51Well you always feel better
00:55:53When they throw up on me
00:55:54Uh who are you again?
00:55:56Eddie
00:55:57Head clown
00:55:58Oh
00:56:02So someone must be worried about you
00:56:03Huh?
00:56:04What's your name?
00:56:06I'm Jack
00:56:07In fact she's red
00:56:08Nobody's worried
00:56:10Okay
00:56:11Red
00:56:11That's a pretty name
00:56:12Do you remember your address?
00:56:14Hmm?
00:56:15She zipped her lips
00:56:16Really?
00:56:17You know I once did that too
00:56:18I once zipped mine for about a month
00:56:21So where's your secret key?
00:56:22It's a zipper
00:56:24Not a lock
00:56:25Huh
00:56:27Whoops
00:56:30Okay then what about you?
00:56:32What's your address?
00:56:33Santa's her
00:56:33Or twins
00:56:35Huh
00:56:36Well
00:56:37On that note
00:56:40Doc
00:56:40Layla
00:56:41Kids
00:56:42I'm off to right some wrongs
00:56:48Is he your boyfriend?
00:56:50I don't have boyfriends Jack
00:56:52He's not really a superhero you know
00:56:56Not by a long stretch
00:56:59Here you go sweetie
00:56:59You want that?
00:57:02My dog?
00:57:05I was gonna mention him
00:57:06Hey
00:57:07That's her dog
00:57:09Okay
00:57:10Will you take good care of him?
00:57:12Hmm?
00:57:13He zipped his lips too
00:57:15Jack
00:57:17Red
00:57:18You're staying with me tonight okay?
00:57:21You got cable?
00:57:34I'm just gonna go tuck her in okay?
00:57:36Okay
00:57:38Your room's right there
00:57:40Yeah
00:57:51I'm just
00:57:51Gonna
00:57:52Wait here for a second
00:57:56Okay
00:57:56You know
00:57:59Make sure everything's cool
00:58:02I understand
00:58:03Cause
00:58:05You never know what's gonna happen
00:58:07That's true
00:58:08I'm not even that tired
00:58:12You're a brave guy Jack
00:58:13He took good care of your sister
00:58:16Can I shake your hand?
00:58:17Hmm
00:58:19Hmm
00:58:21Hmm
00:58:22All right
00:58:23You know I was thinking though
00:58:24What if uh
00:58:25What if Red wakes up
00:58:27And uh
00:58:29You're not there
00:58:29She might get scared
00:58:32Amanda you'd rather have your own room
00:58:34But you think for tonight
00:58:34You might stay with her
00:58:37Protect her
00:58:39Yeah
00:58:56I may not be perfect at this but I won't be mean
00:58:59So please don't get anything bad or fatal or indictable while you're here
00:59:07Or not here
00:59:09Actually don't get anything anywhere
00:59:12Okay?
00:59:15Amen
00:59:18And you look after them buster
00:59:32Nice thing
00:59:38It's nice
00:59:38Like a little story
00:59:41Yeah
00:59:43When Evie and I were kids
00:59:44We used to think our father was an astronaut
00:59:46Cause there was always spacesuits lying around the house
00:59:52His real job was
00:59:54To make sure that the visors on the helmets didn't steam up
01:00:00Not everyone's a star
01:00:14What's gonna happen to them?
01:00:16I don't know
01:00:18I'll make some calls
01:00:19I was thinking that they could stay here
01:00:23What about your mission?
01:00:25Well
01:00:25I can postpone that
01:00:28Still I think Eddie's an excellent choice
01:00:30He can name almost every country
01:00:33On Krypton?
01:00:35I'm serious
01:00:38Okay seriously then
01:00:39I would have to say the clown in question
01:00:41Is
01:00:42Not an excellent choice
01:00:45It's less than excellent
01:00:46In fact
01:00:48Actually it's insane
01:00:50It is stupendously mind-numbingly insane
01:00:58You don't practice on children, Layla
01:01:00You don't pick daddies off a Wheaties box
01:01:04The only thing more idiotic than letting that guy touch you
01:01:07Is letting him father your child
01:01:10And
01:01:11The only thing dumber than that
01:01:12Is you having a child in the first place
01:01:15Is that a medical opinion?
01:01:18No
01:01:18No
01:01:19No
01:01:20Do you want one?
01:01:22No
01:01:32You know when I was about four
01:01:35My mom was pregnant with my little sister
01:01:40And she asked me if I wanted to touch her stomach
01:01:45And I burst out crying because I thought that she'd swallowed this baby
01:01:50And she was going to swallow me
01:01:54So
01:01:56So she told me
01:01:58So she told me
01:01:59That she loved me more than anything
01:02:03That I had nothing to be scared of
01:02:05I mean the reason I know
01:02:08I mean I absolutely know
01:02:11That you can love somebody again, Layla
01:02:14Is that you're so completely afraid to
01:02:20Why are you doing this to her?
01:02:30Please
01:02:31Please
01:02:32I can't
01:02:33I can't
01:02:37Look
01:02:38I told you from the beginning
01:02:40No, I know
01:02:41You don't do love
01:02:43Why?
01:02:48I'm sorry
01:02:52Me too
01:03:03I don't do love
01:03:05I don't do love
01:03:06I don't do love
01:03:08I don't do love
01:03:09I don't do love
01:03:10I don't do love
01:03:12I don't do love
01:03:12I don't do love
01:03:13I don't do love
01:03:13I don't do love
01:03:13I don't do love
01:03:13I don't do love
01:03:13I don't do love
01:03:14I don't do love
01:03:14I don't do love
01:03:15I don't do love
01:03:22I don't do love
01:04:57Hey, you.
01:05:01You guys ready?
01:05:05Not done.
01:05:12Hey.
01:05:13Hands up.
01:05:15Who's in love?
01:05:19Are there any creatures more pathetic?
01:05:28Ten minutes, kids, and we're out of here, okay?
01:05:34Eddie?
01:05:35It's Leila.
01:05:37Um, I just wanted to thank you for what you almost did to me.
01:05:46Oh, and under the cape?
01:05:48Very impressive.
01:05:50I know.
01:05:51I've seen videos.
01:05:52Certainly didn't mean to laugh.
01:05:55But this just isn't a good time for me at all.
01:06:01And thank you.
01:06:04You've been very kind.
01:06:06Oh, and by the way, um, Mrs. Herbert is looking for two clowns on Sunday.
01:06:13I said you were excellent.
01:06:15Everything you do, everywhere you go now.
01:06:19Everything you do, you do it for your lady love.
01:06:22Your lady love.
01:06:24Your lady love.
01:06:26Your lady love.
01:06:28Your lady laver.
01:06:28Fools in love.
01:06:30They think they're heroes.
01:06:32Cause they can't feel more pain.
01:06:35I said, fools in love are zeroes.
01:06:39I should know,
01:06:41Fools in love.
01:06:42Fools in love.
01:06:42Because this fools in love is gone.
01:06:49Oh, God, man.
01:06:50Girl talk.
01:06:51Let them be.
01:06:51This is a precious time for sisters.
01:06:55Ten minutes.
01:06:57I could be making a big mistake.
01:07:05Me, too.
01:07:07This isn't about you.
01:07:09Sorry.
01:07:14Stupid little monster.
01:07:16She won't put on the dress or speak to me.
01:07:20She's not your talker.
01:07:22Oh, are you?
01:07:25Huh?
01:07:28Do we know any of these people?
01:07:31That's Dr. Beverly.
01:07:40Is this the way he felt before you almost got married?
01:07:46No.
01:07:49I felt perfect.
01:07:51I felt beautiful.
01:07:54Well, that fucked up.
01:07:57Thanks.
01:07:59No, that's good.
01:08:01Because you were really happy.
01:08:03And the guy bailed.
01:08:06And I'm really...
01:08:09drunk.
01:08:11That was good.
01:08:14This is fine.
01:08:20Do you shave your outfits?
01:08:24I do.
01:08:30Oh, my God.
01:08:31Oh, my God.
01:08:32You look like an angel.
01:08:37Very nice.
01:08:40Could we get on with this?
01:08:53Red.
01:08:56You're beautiful.
01:09:01So are you.
01:09:05Okay.
01:09:06All in our places with sunshiny faces.
01:09:08Oh, please.
01:09:19Can you walk.
01:09:21Hey, what?
01:09:24Hey, what?
01:09:25Come here.
01:09:26Oh, look at you.
01:09:33Oh, shit.
01:09:34What?
01:09:35I forgot to write my vows.
01:09:38We were supposed to write vows.
01:09:41Yes.
01:10:05Needle Harvard.
01:10:06Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:10:22In the maze, they still let heterosexuals marry.
01:10:26Is the groom at least here at this time?
01:10:29He's here.
01:10:32When Evie divorces him and remarries,
01:10:35you do realize we'll have at least one more of these?
01:10:39Your pessimism has no place at this ceremony.
01:10:42Hmm.
01:11:17Would you agree that the eyes are the windows of the soul?
01:11:22Uh, absolutely, Father.
01:11:26Perhaps your bride might like a glimpse of your soul just now.
01:11:37Dearly beloved,
01:11:39we are gathered here in the sight of God
01:11:41and in the face of this company
01:11:42to join together this man and this woman
01:11:44in holy matrimony.
01:11:47You two.
01:11:52Rough night.
01:11:55Before we recite the traditional vows,
01:11:57I understand the bride and groom
01:11:58have taken the time to compose something
01:12:01from their hearts.
01:12:05Why do I have to go first?
01:12:07Just read what you've written, son.
01:12:17I love you.
01:12:22Deeply.
01:12:26Like the deep...
01:12:28snow.
01:12:35Sometimes the heart is too full for words.
01:12:40And the bride's declaration?
01:12:48Is she drunk?
01:12:53You know, there's a guy in a bee suit here.
01:12:56It's a bee.
01:12:59Oh.
01:13:01Just forget it.
01:13:02Let's, uh...
01:13:03Let's move on.
01:13:05Deep snow.
01:13:08Well then.
01:13:10If any man could show just cause
01:13:13why these two may not lawfully be joined together,
01:13:16let him speak now,
01:13:17or else hereafter forever hold his peace.
01:13:24Anyone?
01:13:27No.
01:13:29Excuse me.
01:13:30Wilt thou, Donald,
01:13:31take this woman to be thy wedded wife?
01:13:34Wilt thou love her, comfort her,
01:13:36honor and keep her
01:13:36in sickness and in health
01:13:38as long as you both shall live?
01:13:41I do.
01:13:43Wilt.
01:13:47Wilt thou, Evie,
01:13:48take this man to thy wedded husband?
01:13:50Wilt thou love him,
01:13:51comfort him,
01:13:52honor and keep him
01:13:53in sickness and in health
01:13:54as long as you both shall live?
01:13:58Oh, boy.
01:14:01Just saying I do.
01:14:07Or I do.
01:14:11Or something else.
01:14:13Excuse me?
01:14:15Is it too late to forever not hold my peace?
01:14:18Doug.
01:14:21I mean, to speak now.
01:14:23Who is this woman?
01:14:25Sister.
01:14:26Look, Donald.
01:14:29I know this is really tricky timing
01:14:31and everything.
01:14:32I mean, God,
01:14:33you've got your whole family here.
01:14:35But look,
01:14:36my guy didn't even make it inside the church.
01:14:38At least Evie walked all the way up here to tell you.
01:14:42Tell me what?
01:14:43That you're not
01:14:44the one,
01:14:46Donald.
01:14:47You're certainly a one.
01:14:49Probably even the one to a lot of women.
01:14:51Evie says you really know your way around a waterbed.
01:14:55But you're just going to have to be somebody else's big one.
01:15:00Well, that makes it unanimous.
01:15:02You're not.
01:15:02Louis, you're his father.
01:15:04What?
01:15:04Anyway,
01:15:06I'm the last person who should say anything about love.
01:15:12But I know what it looks like.
01:15:15You see,
01:15:17it's this thing.
01:15:18It's this thing that gets under your skin.
01:15:26And...
01:15:27And what in me is dark illumines?
01:15:33Wow.
01:15:34That's great.
01:15:36Very medieval.
01:15:37But no,
01:15:38I was going to say it's a hairball.
01:15:40It's an unholy hairball.
01:15:44Which rots and festers and grows enormous.
01:15:50So for like 12 years,
01:15:52you don't lay a finger on it.
01:15:55For fear that when it stops choking and itching and gagging you,
01:16:00you won't feel anything at all.
01:16:03And then,
01:16:05one day,
01:16:07a light bulb goes on and you see.
01:16:11And you know...
01:16:16Well,
01:16:17that your sister shouldn't marry the man that she intended to.
01:16:22That's all.
01:16:26She's right, Donald.
01:16:29You think that it?
01:16:30You understand, don't you?
01:16:33I understand.
01:16:35I just don't know where to go.
01:16:36Well,
01:16:38don't go anywhere.
01:16:40We're, uh,
01:16:42we're unmarried.
01:16:42We're not dead.
01:16:43We can still get together later.
01:16:47Well, then,
01:16:48if there are no more
01:16:50completely inappropriate surprises,
01:16:52perhaps now would be fine time
01:16:53to call these proceedings to a...
01:16:55Wait.
01:16:57There's actually just one more thing.
01:17:00Of course there is.
01:17:03When I was 17,
01:17:05I stood outside of this
01:17:07very church
01:17:09and swore to God
01:17:10that I would never again
01:17:11let anyone tell me
01:17:12they love me.
01:17:14And guess what?
01:17:17Nobody has.
01:17:19Because
01:17:20the longer that the wall stood,
01:17:22the higher it got.
01:17:25Until no one could knock it down anymore.
01:17:28Least of all me.
01:17:31I've spent a long time scared
01:17:32to let anyone in.
01:17:36Especially the one who's
01:17:38hiding out there behind the curtain.
01:17:41How about it, Beverly?
01:17:44Will you love me?
01:17:46Beverly, not in my church.
01:17:48He's a man, Reverend.
01:17:50He's a good and kind man.
01:17:52But even if you're a woman,
01:17:54I'd love him till death even dared.
01:17:57Beverly,
01:17:58will you keep me
01:17:59and comfort me
01:18:00in sickness
01:18:01and dubious mental health?
01:18:04Beverly?
01:18:14Okay.
01:18:17Okay.
01:18:19Okay.
01:18:36We may never get this close again,
01:18:38so kiss me, darling.
01:18:40Oh, you're insane.
01:18:55As for the rest of us,
01:18:57no real change in forecast.
01:19:00The customer smokes
01:19:02and pines,
01:19:03but mostly smokes.
01:19:04Hey guys, no cheese.
01:19:07Many men actually did manage
01:19:09to turn this dump around.
01:19:11All the while banging Evie,
01:19:13who continues to date Donald.
01:19:16Dottie's in a millennium cult.
01:19:20Mammy, our den mother,
01:19:22is deeply in denial.
01:19:24Forever planning fabulous weddings
01:19:26that will never come
01:19:27and fussing over the adopted twins.
01:19:32Ernest, on the other hand,
01:19:34thinks children, like dogs,
01:19:36should be seen and not heard.
01:19:39I don't know who that guy is
01:19:41with Preacher,
01:19:41but he kind of smells.
01:19:44Me?
01:19:45I got stung by Eddie.
01:19:47Repeatedly.
01:19:48Until I realized
01:19:49I was allergic to bees.
01:19:52I have something for you.
01:19:57It's birth.
01:20:01I have something for you, too.
01:20:08Where are they going?
01:20:10Boy, you're dumb.
01:20:16Wine comes in at the mouth.
01:20:18Love comes in at the eye.
01:20:20That is all we shall know of truth
01:20:22before we grow old and die.
01:20:24I lift my glass to my mouth.
01:20:26I look at you and I sigh.
01:20:30That's Layla's favorite poem,
01:20:31which she learned at Harvard.
01:20:33She says it's romantic,
01:20:34but I take it to mean a guy
01:20:36will only love you
01:20:36when he's loaded.
01:20:39Which is why I have no plans
01:20:41for college.
01:20:46I brought something for Layla.
01:20:48I got something for Layla.
01:20:50I was going to bring it
01:20:51if you didn't give her.
01:20:52I found this in the garbage.
01:20:55It's a, uh...
01:20:57I think it was, like, a snowball.
01:21:00You know, it's got...
01:21:01It's New York City in here.
01:21:03It's New York,
01:21:04and there was, like, water
01:21:05with snow in it and stuff.
01:21:07And, um, it must have broke.
01:21:10And I thought she would like...
01:21:12It actually plays a song.
01:21:19See, this is the, um,
01:21:21Empire State Building here.
01:21:26That's, um...
01:21:27The...
01:21:28The Plymouth.
01:21:30No, uh, Chrysler Building.
01:21:33And, um...
01:21:34I love New York, man.
01:21:35I really love New York.
01:21:37Such a great town.
01:21:39I mean, I love it
01:21:40when it snows in New York,
01:21:41you know,
01:21:41when it covers all the shit
01:21:42and the grime.
01:21:44Wish it was snow still
01:21:44in it, she would probably,
01:21:45but it still plays a song.
01:21:48And there's Times Square.
01:21:50Lots of porno shops.
01:21:51And, uh, there's a little,
01:21:53little cap right there.
01:21:55There's snow...
01:21:56It's snowing in New York.
01:22:00I know the song, too, uh...
01:22:06Um...
01:22:06Start letting me out.
01:22:11Um...
01:22:12I'm coming...
01:22:14Today.
01:22:17Um...
01:22:18New York, New York, it's...
01:22:21It's a hell of a town.
01:22:25Something's up and the other thing is down.
01:22:28And I'm gonna drive in a cab with Layla
01:22:34all over town.
01:22:37And we'll...
01:22:38make it...
01:22:41in this town.
01:22:43I love Layla.
01:22:44Man, I really love Layla.
01:22:47I love Layla.
01:22:48Oh...
01:22:48That's a littlebat.
01:22:53I love Layla.
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