00:02Dear Flabby, I've got a situation that feels small on paper, but somehow keeps getting more
00:09awkward the longer it goes on.
00:12I have a co-worker who is way more generous than I am comfortable with.
00:18They're constantly dropping off little gifts, offerings, favors, bringing in homemade things,
00:26you name it.
00:27It's thoughtful, it's kind, and it's also starting to stress me the bleep out.
00:33Now, I feel like I'm stuck in this unspoken cycle of trying to keep up.
00:39Every time they do something nice, I feel pressure to match it, but I can't, and honestly don't
00:46want to.
00:48Doesn't want to operate at that level.
00:52It's gotten to the point where I feel guilty instead of grateful.
00:57Which I know is not how this is supposed to work.
01:00I don't want to hurt their feelings or make it seem like I don't appreciate them, but I
01:05also need this to dial back to something that feels more natural and less like a low-key
01:14competition that I never signed up for.
01:17So here's my question.
01:18How do you gracefully reset the tone of a relationship like this without making it weird or worse,
01:29offending someone who's trying to be kind?
01:33Thanks for any help navigating this one.
01:39Sincerely, Bothersome Benevolence.
01:46Dear Flabby, Dear Bothersome Benevolence, there is no good way around this.
01:54You have got to rip the bandage off and you've got to tell them, listen, keep your crap.
02:02Keep this tchotchkes away from me.
02:04I don't want any of it.
02:06I don't want your freaking cookies.
02:07Next time they bring you something, take it and chuck it across the office.
02:10It'll be the last time they bring you anything.
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