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00:06He is the king of underground comedy, Dr. Cam Williams!
00:46First of all, let me say thank you so much for this, I appreciate this, my whole motherfucking journey.
00:54My whole journey started South Florida, 1995.
01:01So the fact that this is where we are, full circle, I appreciate this.
01:08This how I know I'm the greatest comic living, because I got the best audience everywhere.
01:18Some people, some people have a couple stars come.
01:22We have all the stars come out.
01:25And tonight is no exception.
01:28It's dark in here, y'all can't even see who in here.
01:33You gonna be shocked.
01:35Where's all the white people in the building make some noise, white people?
01:40What?
01:42In this administration, still hanging with niggas.
01:47We appreciate that, white friends.
01:49You knew it was gonna be diverse and equal and inclusive, you came anyway.
01:57Some of y'all gonna go to heaven just for that.
02:00When you get up there, it's gonna be on the checklist.
02:02Did you hang with niggas?
02:04Yup.
02:07Where's all the Hispanics in the building?
02:09Where's me, familia?
02:12Buenos noches!
02:15I want y'all to know y'all are safe in this building tonight.
02:22There will be no ice in this building of any kind.
02:26Just the ice I'm wearing, that is it.
02:30I told them, don't even put ice in the drinks.
02:34I want everybody to feel comfortable.
02:37Last but not least, the core of my very existence.
02:42Where's all the black people in the building make some noise, black people?
02:54Battery in the back.
02:58And the most important creation in all the known universe.
03:03Where's the ladies in the building make some noise?
03:12Yeah.
03:13Y'all are the reason Florida is Florida.
03:17Florida is known for orange juice and great pussy.
03:21And orange juice gave up a long time ago.
03:25Cause the pussy's that good.
03:29Yeah.
03:30My new shit.
03:32Giving credit.
03:35Not making people wait.
03:36If you doing a great job.
03:38Going into 2026.
03:40We gonna announce you doing a great job.
03:42So that you know it.
03:44And you can keep up the good work.
03:46Cause some of y'all doing great.
03:48You don't even know you doing great.
03:50You don't even know.
03:52Ladies have been kicking ass.
03:54All across the motherfucking globe.
03:57And people ain't saying shit.
03:59Women have flipped.
04:01The script.
04:04Let her cook.
04:06Let her cook.
04:08Let me cook.
04:10Never gave a damn.
04:11I ain't never gave no.
04:12That's the good pussy dance.
04:16Women have been doing a great job all across the globe.
04:19Not some women.
04:20All women.
04:22They handle certain shit.
04:24There's no such thing as a woman saying I don't have no eyelashes.
04:30Let her cook.
04:31I don't give a fuck if she starving to death.
04:33She got lashes.
04:36They might not even be the right species.
04:39She got a mountain alpaca and a desert llama together.
04:42They don't even go together in nature.
04:46Women did that shit.
04:48No group chats.
04:49No emails.
04:50Just one woman helping another woman.
04:53Did you know that stinky pussy
04:57is a thing of the past?
05:00Let her cook.
05:03Let me cook.
05:06Never gave a damn.
05:07I ain't never gave no.
05:08You can waft it when it smells nice.
05:1125 years ago, stinky pussy was everywhere.
05:16You couldn't walk down the street without smelling tuna fish.
05:22Not today.
05:24Women are fresh.
05:28No more stinky pussy.
05:32It's a man in here right now.
05:35Sitting with the last stinky pussy in Florida.
05:39He trying to get my attention.
05:41I won't look at him.
05:43Let her cook.
05:45Oh.
05:46Let me cook too.
05:49Never gave a damn.
05:50I ain't never...
05:54No, I'm just saying.
05:56A lot of people doing a great job.
05:58They don't even know it.
06:00Watch this.
06:02Where's everybody 35 and over?
06:04Make some noise.
06:0535 and over.
06:10Y'all don't know how special y'all are.
06:14100 years from now, they gonna be writing books about you motherfuckers.
06:18How the fuck did y'all do this shit?
06:22Did you know if you 35 and over, did you know that you look better than anybody who has ever
06:29been your age in the history of humankind?
06:33The book?
06:36Y'all look good.
06:40You know you look good.
06:41Some of y'all grandmothers at 29, bitch.
06:45You know the fuck you look good.
06:47Your grandmama still got her baby hair?
06:54You 35 and over, you have done it.
06:56You have already lived one life.
06:59If it was a good life, put it in the books.
07:02If it was fucked up, put it behind you and start all over again.
07:07At 63, bitch.
07:10You can do it.
07:12Here's the future.
07:14Where's 35 and under? Make some noise.
07:16It's 35 and under.
07:18Yes, we love y'all.
07:22We are counting on y'all.
07:25All y'all gotta do is don't fuck up like we just fucked up in front of you.
07:29That's it.
07:32Certain simple shit, you don't even have to try.
07:35Like if you under 35, you can't afford to do no drugs at all.
07:41Just smoke weed.
07:42It's the only thing you can trust.
07:46You don't believe me?
07:47Easter and 420 was on the same day that you hear this.
07:51That's Jesus inviting me personally.
07:58Weed is the only thing you can trust.
08:00Back in the day, they used to say drugs was fun and dangerous.
08:03Now they done took the fun the fuck out.
08:06It's just and dangerous.
08:09Can't do meth or molly and make your gums long and your teeth short.
08:13What the fuck you gonna do with that?
08:15You can't even take selfies, bitch.
08:19Can't do the fentanyl, you'll die.
08:22Can't drink the lean.
08:24It eat up your liver and your spleen and your esophagus.
08:29Look at my white friends.
08:31That is not your esophagus.
08:33You are doing so good.
08:36Just saying they know these drugs is too strong.
08:39They just too strong.
08:43They got a rapper that's a thousand pounds.
08:45He addicted to lean.
08:47I can't put it down the cup.
08:48I can't put it down the cup.
08:54He can't put down the cup or the plate.
08:57Put a spoon or the fork.
09:00They too strong.
09:02Speaking of too strong.
09:03Look at that stool.
09:08The stool is like, you got to be shitting me.
09:11You gonna do the whole song on me, baby?
09:15Take it down before he made me pay for his weight loss street, let's say.
09:22Just making a point.
09:26This next question I'm gonna ask y'all is the most important question in the whole universe.
09:34I've been broke and I've been rich.
09:36This is the only thing that matters.
09:39Make some noise if you are relatively healthy right now.
09:43If you got your health, if you got a God, you should thank him.
09:49That's all that matters.
09:50It's your motherfucking health.
09:52I don't give a fuck if you got a billion dollars.
09:55If you are throwing up and shitting at the same time, you are broke, bitch.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Your health is what motherfucking matters.
10:06And it don't take nothing for that motherfucker to leave.
10:10I thought I was strong, then a motherfucker, I found out I'm not even a little bit strong.
10:18I got hit by two kidney stones.
10:23You know about a kidney stone?
10:26That motherfucker is a crippler.
10:28I didn't know what the fuck happened to me.
10:31I was asleep and woke up to two kidney stones.
10:35Both my legs shut off.
10:38I was just at the end of the bed, shaped like a pretzel.
10:41Saying, not in my pajamas, Jesus.
10:46I didn't know what to tell the doctor.
10:48I think I peed two firecrackers.
10:53Take care of your motherfucking health.
10:56Speaking of health,
10:58whoever been naming these new medications,
11:02you are kicking ass.
11:05Keep up.
11:05All of these new medications sound like some shit you want to take.
11:10My commercial, I heard Ren Vulcan.
11:14I don't even know what that cure of is, but I don't mind ordering that at Walgreens.
11:19Where's my Ren Vulcan?
11:22Sound like something you named your penis.
11:24You ready for the Ren Vulcan?
11:26Hit it with the R-R-U, kid.
11:31All the names is cool.
11:33The next one was Sky Rizzy.
11:36Bitch, that's flying shit.
11:38That was my nickname in middle school, Sky Rizzy.
11:43Because I would do a skyhook and look at girls.
11:48The best one is Trim Fire.
11:51That was my nickname for hot pussy.
11:54I love Trim Fire.
11:56She got that Trim Fire!
11:57Yeah!
12:00But even they drugs is too strong.
12:03I told y'all three years ago,
12:05Old Zimpik had Hollywood in a chokehold.
12:11I ain't lie.
12:13Y'all seen Oprah, she got the body of a 12-year-old boy.
12:18She ain't never even been a 12-year-old boy.
12:22That shit is strong.
12:26Gail looked like she ain't had a bowel movement since she came back from space.
12:31Her and the wig looked confused.
12:41Lil' Ren said he didn't even take Old Zimpik.
12:43He just heard about it.
12:45He went down to his baby weight.
12:49You are nine pounds, six pounds?
12:53Niggas built like a cricket now.
12:57How did you lose weight in your head, knees?
13:02Shoulders and toes, shoulders and toes.
13:09Five years ago, we talked about the side effect being worse than the shit they were curing.
13:16This month, I heard this.
13:19The medication for eczema said the side effect is severe skin reactions.
13:30Bitch, that's what the fuck I came to you for!
13:34You took away my eczema and gave me shingles, spit, shot, and still itching.
13:39Shit!
13:45It's gonna get worse.
13:49I'm gonna say everything I'm not supposed to say tonight.
13:53Just so you know.
13:56The world has changed.
14:00The world has motherfuckin' changed.
14:02Used to be you told a story, people be like, is that true?
14:07Now they don't give a fuck if it's true.
14:10If it's, is it derogatory?
14:14Yes, bitch, it probably is derogatory.
14:17But it's true, though.
14:20I just had to tell my people what the fuck is really going on.
14:23And we are living in a special time.
14:26I mean a special fuckin' time.
14:28Like, you can really do anything right about now.
14:31I don't give a fuck what's wrong with you.
14:33You can fuckin' make it.
14:34Like, even if you cross-eyed, you can make it.
14:39Did you understand that even if you cross-eyed?
14:45Take that down before I get a knock on my door.
14:53That man is the director of the FBI.
15:00He can do that.
15:01He can do that, you can do anything like that.
15:04Cross-eyed and the director of the FBI.
15:08You can't even be an eyewitness.
15:20He workin' on everybody's case.
15:23He gonna work on my case.
15:25I'll be right in front of the judge.
15:26Your Honor, he looks distracted.
15:33I was talkin' about health.
15:37The most important health is your motherfuckin' mental health.
15:41How the fuck is you doin' up here?
15:43Make some noise if you doin' good up here.
15:46That's what the fuck matters.
15:48You gotta protect your motherfuckin' mental health.
15:52That shit is fragile.
15:55Once it go, it's gone.
15:57And they don't give a fuck who you are.
16:00Once it go, it's gone.
16:04You need your fuckin' mental health.
16:05And I found out some shit they did not tell us.
16:08And I can't wait to tell y'all so y'all can treat yourself better.
16:14Some of y'all be way too mean to yourself in the fuckin' brain.
16:19You say some really fucked up things to yourself.
16:23This is what they found out.
16:25They found out your brain don't know when you bullshittin'.
16:31Let me say it again.
16:33Your brain don't know when you bullshittin'.
16:37So if you tell your brain, I'm sick.
16:40Your brain don't do no research at all.
16:43It just say, I guess we sick.
16:48You gotta be nicer to your motherfuckin' self.
16:52Cause this shit go like that.
16:54And I found out when it come to mental health,
16:56I can't speak on nobody's mental health but my own.
17:00Cause every time I done spoke on somebody else's mental health,
17:03I've been wrong, wrong, wrong.
17:07I was the first person in the streets screaming,
17:12Free Britney Spears!
17:14Free Britney Spears!
17:16Free Britney Spears!
17:19Free Britney Spears!
17:22She's gotta hurt all of us.
17:24That baby need a conservatorship.
17:27Is she okay?
17:30It could happen to anybody.
17:32I fucked around and said Wendy Williams was Bigfoot.
17:37And they believed me and left that bitch in the woods for real!
17:41Go get her!
17:43She out there, how you doing?
17:45She is talking to a squirrel.
17:50Mental health.
17:52Don't play with it.
17:54It even got Lil Nas X.
17:57He went down the wrong old town road.
18:01And he had all the distress signals for a black man.
18:06He had on a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, white underwear.
18:13Look at my white friends.
18:15So what?
18:17I'll tell you a Negro secret.
18:20A nigga ain't wore tighty-whities since slavery, bitch.
18:26That is her cry for help.
18:29We don't even know where you buy those.
18:33He got a pulled all high show in his whole vagina.
18:39Stop it. Don't do that.
18:41Don't encourage me.
18:45I'm just saying, don't forget to love your motherfuckers self.
18:49Don't forget that.
18:51Be nicer to your motherfuckers self.
18:54That's why I'm always so confident in all situations.
18:57Because if I see a mirror, I lie to the mirror.
19:02Every time I see me, I go, nigga, did you get a growth spurt today?
19:13You looking 5'11 today?
19:19It's important.
19:20We'll go on in your brain.
19:22And I just hope for 19 of you
19:28that you are just one change away
19:30from your shit shifting motherfucking gears.
19:33And that's how quick it can happen.
19:35Just one last change.
19:37Bam.
19:38You shift gears.
19:40Yeah.
19:40And you...
19:41I don't give a fuck what the change is.
19:43Just do it.
19:43You might have to change your name.
19:47You've been Shaquita for 33 years, bitch.
19:50Shit is not working for you.
19:52Go back to the drawing board.
19:54Start at the age.
19:56You could be Amber, Amy, Abigail.
20:01Sometimes it's just a name.
20:03I'm going to give you an example.
20:04We got people from all the different races,
20:07colors, and creeds in the building.
20:10Make some noise if you know all the seasonings.
20:13That means you know all the herbs and spices
20:16from oregano and thyme all the way
20:19to rosemary and saffron.
20:21Make some noise if you know all the...
20:24Oh, my God.
20:26Look at my white friends.
20:28We know them.
20:31Okay.
20:33Since we got everybody in here,
20:35has anybody ever seen paprika growing in the wild?
20:41You ever seen wild paprika?
20:45Nobody?
20:47Because there ain't no paprika.
20:50Look at the black people.
20:51What?
20:53Well, what the fuck we been putting on?
20:55Devil's eggs, them niggas.
20:57You can't just say this shit.
21:01There is no paprika.
21:03Ain't no paprika plant,
21:05no paprika bush,
21:07no paprika tree.
21:10Paprika is dried up,
21:13ground up bell peppers.
21:17Look at the white people.
21:18I don't even like bell peppers.
21:21Yes, you do.
21:22They just had to change the name.
21:25Walked in bell peppers,
21:27walked out paprika Jenkins.
21:32Couldn't keep it on this shelf.
21:33She sounds exotic.
21:38Now, some of y'all may know,
21:40I do not travel the globe
21:42talking about no motherfucking seasonings.
21:46In my spare time,
21:48I infiltrate the Illuminati,
21:51find out what the fuck they got going on,
21:55get the information,
21:57run back to y'all,
21:58tell y'all everything I know.
22:02That's my motherfucking job.
22:05And
22:07y'all treat me wonderfully.
22:10But I don't know
22:13how many more times
22:15I'm going to be able to
22:18sneak in there.
22:21Thanks to Shannon Sharpe
22:23and 90 million views,
22:27I can't sneak very often.
22:31So I,
22:32while I was in there
22:33this last time,
22:36knowing that my last report
22:39might be my last report,
22:42I went in there
22:43and I got information
22:45for everybody.
22:48Information I got
22:50for everybody.
22:52Look at my white friends.
22:54Us too?
22:57That's right.
22:57White secrets.
23:00Okay, so
23:01because of the climate
23:03and the temperature of,
23:04um,
23:06God damn it,
23:07shoelaces.
23:10That's the only thing
23:10about being short.
23:14They made these shoelaces
23:15for a seven-foot neck.
23:20All right.
23:22Back to my Illuminati information.
23:26All right,
23:26I'm going to do it quick
23:27and I'm going to be moving around
23:30for my own safety.
23:34White friends,
23:35here come y'alls first.
23:37For 50 years,
23:38y'all been wondering,
23:40what the fuck happened
23:41to JFK?
23:43I went in there
23:44and watched the VCR
23:46tape myself.
23:48I can't tell you
23:49what I saw,
23:50white friends,
23:51but I'll show you
23:53the part you missed.
24:06Moving right along.
24:09Okay.
24:13Every time I go in there,
24:14I be thinking,
24:16they hate some of us
24:17more than others.
24:19But when I find out
24:20the information,
24:21I find out they hate
24:22all of us.
24:23They just lie to all of us.
24:25They don't see no difference,
24:27just lie to all of us.
24:30Here's a perfect example.
24:33Did you know that
24:34for 35 years,
24:36they've been telling us
24:37we are at war
24:38with cholesterol?
24:40That cholesterol
24:42is the silent killer?
24:44All our doctors told us
24:46our cholesterol
24:46was too motherfucking high
24:48and we needed
24:49to get it down low.
24:52Guess what they found out
24:53and didn't tell us?
24:55Did you know
25:01did you know
25:02your brain
25:02is 100%
25:04cholesterol?
25:06Your whole brain
25:08is cholesterol,
25:10bitch.
25:11So congratulations.
25:14Some of y'all
25:15cholesterol
25:16loading a bitch.
25:18You did it.
25:21They don't be giving a fuck.
25:23They just be making money.
25:24They put motherfucking
25:26fluoride in our water
25:28and then I found out
25:30you know it was never
25:31not one study
25:33that ever said
25:33that fluoride
25:34was good for our teeth
25:36and our motherfucking bones
25:37because it's a toxic
25:39fucking chemical
25:40and could never be good
25:42for teeth
25:42or fucking bones.
25:45Bitch.
25:49But the truth is
25:52because of the shit
25:53I'm likely to say
25:56I done really
25:57stepped in it
25:58this time.
25:59I can tell
26:01because everybody
26:01turned against me.
26:03Them streets
26:04is dangerous
26:05for me.
26:06So many motherfuckers
26:08came at me
26:08I had to check myself
26:10and see what
26:11the fuck
26:12I had done.
26:13I went back
26:14and watched shit
26:15for myself.
26:16I went and saw
26:16the Shannon Sharp
26:17interview.
26:19I was flabbergasted.
26:23This nigga's vicious.
26:26He didn't have to say
26:27all that.
26:29All they want me to do
26:30is shut the fuck up.
26:33That's it.
26:34But I was just mistaken.
26:37I thought they was just
26:38gonna laugh it off.
26:40They did not
26:44laugh it off.
26:46I can't even go
26:47to Sea World
26:48because I said
26:49one guy
26:49looked like a walrus.
26:52I said another guy
26:54couldn't read.
26:54I didn't have to say that.
26:56I could have said
26:57he don't read well.
27:00I had on a
27:01fuck you shirt
27:02and he didn't acknowledge it.
27:03I assumed
27:04he couldn't read.
27:07I was only talking
27:08about a couple people
27:09but I should have
27:10shut the fuck up
27:11because I didn't know
27:12how many people
27:12it applied to.
27:14I was talking about
27:15a couple men
27:15in dresses.
27:17Now every man
27:18that ever wore a dress
27:20can't stand my guts.
27:22Soon as they see me coming
27:23they just grab their purse
27:25and walk the other way.
27:32This shit cost me.
27:35Everybody turned against me.
27:37Even 50 Cent
27:38turned against me.
27:40You don't want him
27:41as an enemy.
27:43But I couldn't be shook
27:45because I remember
27:46I never done nothing
27:48to him in my life.
27:50Then I got offended.
27:53Wait a minute
27:54motherfucker.
27:57You got a head
27:58like a square.
27:59You would cross me?
28:03Only two square headed men
28:05have made it in Hollywood.
28:06you and Herman Monster
28:07nigga
28:08I will not be bullied.
28:17But they came after you boy.
28:21I thought they misunderstood
28:22my job.
28:23My job is
28:24see something
28:25say something.
28:26That's my motherfucking job.
28:29they always taking my shit
28:31out of context.
28:32A lot of the times
28:33I be concerned.
28:35They act like I was
28:36talking shit about
28:37a comedy legend of ours.
28:40I wasn't talking shit.
28:41I was fucking concerned.
28:43The man said
28:44he did not have a stroke
28:46and then that should have
28:47been the end of it.
28:49Instead they made this nigga
28:51do 32 interviews
28:52and every interview
28:54he is showing
28:55every symptom
28:56of a stroke.
28:59Ain't nobody saying shit.
29:01They just
29:02come on out.
29:03Different strokes
29:04it takes.
29:05Different strokes
29:06it takes.
29:07Different strokes
29:08it takes.
29:09Different strokes
29:11Different strokes
29:12it move the world.
29:14Mmm.
29:16And I'm at the house
29:17like this is wrong.
29:19The fuck is we talking
29:20about did he have a stroke?
29:22Did he?
29:23Looked like he had
29:24several strokes.
29:25up stroke
29:26down stroke
29:27back stroke
29:29everything but a stroke
29:30of luck.
29:34I was concerned.
29:36I'm not allowed
29:37to say shit
29:38even if I see shit.
29:41Cause Hollywood
29:42is too motherfucking strong.
29:45They want you to make it
29:46you gonna make it.
29:47They don't give a fuck.
29:49Even if you was
29:50allegedly
29:51riddled with herpes.
29:54They'll still have you
29:56in Vegas
29:56feeding bitches
29:57fruit and shit.
29:58This is my confession.
30:00This is my confession.
30:01This is my entertainment.
30:02She's gonna decide.
30:08I done said too much.
30:10I get it.
30:11Ain't nobody been
30:12to say shit.
30:14All our women
30:16coming back from Vegas
30:17with two folks
30:18on their lips
30:19don't wanna fuck.
30:21Fuck it.
30:27Fellas,
30:28your woman
30:28does not love
30:29fruit like that.
30:31You don't believe me?
30:32When y'all get back home
30:33just pop up
30:34from behind the couch.
30:39Stop playing
30:40with the fruit,
30:41Gerald.
30:41That's the kids'
30:42lunch fruit.
30:46But I just
30:47gotta shut
30:47the fuck up.
30:49Cause Hollywood
30:50is too strong.
30:52They play
30:53by their own rules.
30:55They don't play
30:56by my rules.
30:59P. Diddy
30:59just got
31:00four years
31:02for taking
31:0237 asses.
31:06Let me do
31:07the math.
31:09Took
31:1037 asses.
31:12Four years.
31:15Meanwhile,
31:16they tried
31:16to give me
31:16the same
31:17four years
31:18for two blunts.
31:19I had no
31:19intention
31:20of smoking
31:21in the first place.
31:23They were
31:24purely ornamental.
31:26Same
31:27four years.
31:29Cause they
31:30played
31:30by different
31:30rules.
31:32That man
31:33was
31:33facing
31:34ass
31:35trafficking
31:35charges.
31:38for trafficking
31:40ass.
31:43Why they
31:44only gave
31:44him four
31:44years?
31:46Because
31:47liking
31:48dick
31:48and being
31:50a devil
31:50worshipper
31:51ain't against
31:52the law.
31:53They heard
31:55prostitution
31:56and thought
31:58there was
31:58some
31:58vaginas
31:59that needed
32:01to be
32:01saved.
32:03the judge
32:04said
32:05bring out
32:05the nine
32:07prostitutes
32:09and nine
32:10big dick
32:11niggas
32:11walked out.
32:14Judge
32:14said
32:16order.
32:17He's fine.
32:18Give him four years.
32:19It's not a crime.
32:21He just likes
32:22penis.
32:26He likes
32:27penis so much
32:28they sent
32:30him to
32:30the place
32:31with the
32:31most
32:32penis.
32:36Right now
32:37he is happily
32:38paying for
32:38his crime.
32:45I'm not
32:46going to be
32:46scared
32:47for four
32:47years.
32:51He did
32:52he got
32:52his lawyers
32:52lying.
32:53He's
32:54going to
32:54be a
32:54changed
32:55man
32:55when he
32:56come
32:56out.
32:57Is he?
32:59Yes
33:00he started
33:00good boy
33:01records
33:01and everything.
33:03He's not
33:04saying
33:04take that
33:05he's saying
33:05give back
33:06give back.
33:09That's
33:10the last
33:10thing I'm
33:10going to
33:10say.
33:14I ain't
33:15talking about
33:15shit else.
33:16Just know
33:17sometimes
33:19my heart
33:20be in the
33:20motherfucking
33:20right place
33:21and I
33:22just get
33:23tricked.
33:24Sometimes
33:24I believe
33:25shit that
33:25ain't right.
33:26Like I
33:27thought Mike
33:28Tyson was
33:29going to
33:29whoop the
33:30shit out
33:31that young
33:31white gentleman.
33:32I believe
33:33that shit.
33:34I had a
33:35party,
33:36invited my
33:36ancestors
33:37over and
33:38everything.
33:40Had chips
33:41and dip
33:41and unnecessary
33:42regalia.
33:44I just
33:45want to
33:45see Mike
33:45Tyson the
33:46beast
33:46the
33:47monster
33:48in the
33:49motherfucking
33:49ring again.
33:51I knew
33:52early in
33:53the evening
33:54something
33:55was wrong.
33:57I had to
33:58put my
33:58blunt out
33:58for only
33:59the fourth
33:59time
34:01without the
34:02police's
34:02presence.
34:04I looked
34:04up,
34:05Mike had
34:05his whole
34:06ass
34:06out.
34:11I said
34:12pay-per-view
34:12not only
34:13fans,
34:14bitch.
34:15You don't
34:15have my
34:16consent
34:16to show
34:17me this.
34:23The fight
34:23hadn't even
34:24started.
34:26I had to put
34:27my money on
34:28this nigga.
34:31I had to
34:32rationalize for him.
34:33I said some
34:33stupid shit.
34:34I said,
34:34I know he ain't
34:36finna lose
34:37with his
34:38ass out.
34:40Boy,
34:41was I
34:41wrong.
34:43They called
34:44Mike Tyson
34:45out.
34:46Mike Tyson
34:47came to the
34:48ring like
34:48Joe Biden
34:49on his way
34:50to a
34:50helicopter,
34:51bitch.
35:02I said,
35:03what the
35:03fuck is
35:04that?
35:05They were
35:05like,
35:06it's Mike Tyson.
35:07No,
35:07the fuck
35:08it ain't.
35:12Looked
35:12like he was
35:13fighting gravity.
35:17But that's
35:17the new
35:18thing about
35:18the world
35:19we live
35:19in.
35:20You can
35:21take
35:21the pressure
35:21off yourself.
35:23Just do
35:23the best
35:24job you
35:25can possibly
35:26do.
35:26Because you
35:27either going
35:28to win
35:28spectacular or
35:30you going
35:30to lose
35:30spectacular.
35:32Your job
35:32is just
35:33make sure
35:33it's
35:34spectacular.
35:36And you
35:36can take
35:37a spectacular
35:38L.
35:39Kamala Harris
35:40showed us
35:41that shit.
35:42She took
35:43her L
35:44like a
35:44champ.
35:45We ain't
35:46never seen
35:46no shit
35:47like that.
35:48They tried
35:49to act like
35:50nobody voted
35:51for Kamala.
35:52They put
35:53up the
35:53map.
35:54The whole
35:54map was
35:55red.
35:56Even the
35:57people that
35:57voted for
35:58her was
35:58red.
36:00They showed
36:00her house.
36:01It was
36:0150-50.
36:03It ain't but
36:04two of y'all
36:04in there.
36:07They tried
36:07to blame
36:08everybody.
36:08They blamed
36:09black men.
36:10It was
36:11not our
36:11fault.
36:12Blame
36:13anybody
36:13else.
36:14No Indians
36:15voted for
36:16her at
36:17all.
36:18Even
36:19women that
36:19wanted
36:19an abortion
36:20said,
36:21I guess
36:21I'll just
36:21have to
36:22figure
36:22something
36:22out.
36:24They said
36:25she didn't
36:26have enough
36:26electoral
36:27college votes
36:27to graduate.
36:32At one
36:33point in the
36:33election,
36:34Cat Williams
36:34had more
36:35votes.
36:41That's where
36:41we were
36:42as a country.
36:44everybody
36:44asking the
36:45same question.
36:46Is she
36:46black?
36:47Is she
36:47black?
36:48Is she
36:49black?
36:50At the
36:50end,
36:51she showed
36:51you exactly
36:53what she
36:53was.
36:55It was
36:55time for
36:56her
36:56concession
36:56speech.
36:58She
36:59ain't
36:59even
36:59show
36:59up.
37:02That's
37:02a nigga
37:03right there.
37:04We should
37:04have never
37:04doubted it.
37:05She just
37:06rolled by
37:07with her
37:07pinky
37:07finger
37:08in the
37:08hair.
37:09If you
37:10see me
37:10and you
37:10trying
37:11to see
37:11what's up
37:12with me
37:13then I'm
37:14gonna have
37:14a
37:14stuff.
37:20But that's
37:21the best
37:21part about
37:22America.
37:23In America,
37:24it don't matter
37:25who you
37:25choose.
37:26Because we
37:27all gonna
37:28pay the
37:28price
37:29together.
37:32That's
37:32what make
37:33it gambling.
37:34We're gonna
37:35pay the
37:35price together.
37:36No matter
37:37what it
37:37is.
37:38You
37:39don't want
37:39this one?
37:40Fine.
37:41Well,
37:42who's
37:42up
37:42next?
37:44That's
37:45right.
37:45Don't
37:46be
37:46complaining
37:46about
37:47who
37:47up
37:47next.
37:48Just
37:49because
37:49it
37:49happened
37:49to be
37:50Donald
37:50J.
37:51Darth
37:51Vader
37:52Trump.
37:57Yeah,
37:57I don't
37:58give a fuck
37:58what you
37:58think about
37:59him.
37:59That
37:59motherfucker
38:00is
38:00excited.
38:04That
38:04motherfucking
38:05Trump.
38:06You
38:06do not
38:07know what
38:07he finna
38:08do
38:08tomorrow.
38:09Know the
38:10fuck you
38:10don't.
38:11All you
38:12know is
38:12he gonna
38:13do
38:13something.
38:15He'd
38:16been
38:16president
38:17before.
38:18This
38:19time he
38:19was not
38:20bullshit.
38:21He'd
38:22been
38:22office 200
38:23days.
38:24He done
38:24done
38:24200
38:25things.
38:29Good
38:30things,
38:30bad
38:31things,
38:31who gives
38:32the fuck
38:33things.
38:35He'd
38:36do his
38:36shit
38:36today
38:37and figure
38:38out what
38:38the fuck
38:39he just
38:39did
38:40tomorrow.
38:43Yeah.
38:45He found
38:46out all
38:46you gotta
38:47do is
38:47think
38:47about
38:47it,
38:48research
38:48this
38:49term.
38:49He said
38:49get
38:50research
38:50the fuck
38:51out of
38:51here.
38:52We
38:52will
38:52not
38:52be
38:53needing
38:53your
38:53services.
38:56He
38:57don't
38:57give a
38:57fuck.
38:58If
38:58it
38:58makes
38:58sense
38:59to
38:59him,
38:59it
39:00makes
39:00sense.
39:02First
39:02thing
39:02he did
39:03is
39:03come
39:03in
39:03and
39:04fired
39:04all
39:04the
39:05wrong
39:05people.
39:07Fired
39:08a thousand
39:08people
39:09at the
39:09Nuclear
39:11Security
39:13Administration.
39:15The next
39:15day he
39:16said,
39:16well,
39:16what did
39:17they do?
39:19They took
39:20care of
39:21the bombs,
39:21Mr.
39:22President.
39:22Well,
39:23get them
39:23the fuck
39:23back in
39:24here.
39:25You
39:25know I
39:25didn't
39:25mean
39:26them.
39:26I
39:26meant
39:26TSA,
39:27the
39:27one
39:28with
39:28the
39:28shoes.
39:33Y'all
39:33don't
39:33give a
39:34fuck.
39:35He
39:35do
39:35it
39:35today,
39:36figure
39:36it
39:36out
39:36tomorrow.
39:38He
39:39fired
39:39thousands
39:40of
39:40people
39:40at
39:40the
39:40FAA.
39:43And
39:43then
39:4314
39:44planes
39:45landed
39:45upside
39:46down
39:46in
39:4614
39:47days.
39:48Y'all
39:48didn't
39:49say
39:49shit.
39:49Sometimes
39:50they land
39:50like
39:51that.
39:51No
39:51they
39:52don't.
39:57If it
39:58makes sense
39:58to him
39:59it
40:00makes
40:00sense.
40:01He
40:02don't
40:02think
40:02like
40:02everybody
40:03else.
40:04They
40:04told
40:05him
40:05only
40:0528%
40:07of
40:08our
40:088th
40:09graders
40:09can
40:10read.
40:12He
40:13said
40:13who
40:15gave
40:15the
40:16test?
40:23The
40:23Department
40:24of
40:24Education.
40:25Well get
40:26them the
40:26fuck
40:26out of
40:27here.
40:28Take
40:29them
40:29books
40:29with
40:30them.
40:31How the
40:32fuck
40:32we gonna
40:32fail a
40:33test we
40:33don't
40:33take
40:34bitch?
40:40Ain't
40:40nobody
40:40funnier
40:41than
40:41this
40:41guy.
40:43It
40:43might
40:44look like
40:44he don't
40:44know
40:45what
40:45he
40:45doing.
40:46He
40:46be
40:46knowing
40:47what
40:47the
40:47fuck
40:47he
40:47doing.
40:48He
40:49got
40:49us
40:49in
40:50five
40:50wars
40:51at
40:52one
40:52time.
40:53We
40:54had
40:54five
40:55wars
40:56one
40:57time.
40:58Here's
40:59the
40:59brilliant
40:59part.
41:01None
41:01of
41:02the
41:02nations
41:03that
41:04we
41:04are
41:04at
41:05war
41:05with
41:05none
41:06of
41:07them
41:07got
41:08an
41:08army.
41:12We
41:13just
41:13over
41:13there
41:13bullies
41:14shut
41:14the
41:14fuck
41:15up.
41:15Y'all
41:15ain't
41:15got
41:15no
41:16guy
41:16to
41:16give
41:17a
41:17fuck
41:17about
41:17your
41:17maple
41:18syrup
41:18Canada.
41:25If
41:25you
41:25a
41:25comedian
41:26you
41:27ain't
41:27never
41:27seen
41:28nobody
41:28funnier
41:28than
41:29this.
41:30And
41:31he
41:31don't
41:31give
41:31a
41:32fuck
41:32if
41:32he
41:32already
41:33said
41:33one
41:33thing.
41:34He
41:35don't
41:35mind
41:35changing
41:36it
41:37when
41:38he
41:38needs
41:38to
41:38change
41:39it.
41:40Trump
41:41said
41:41I
41:41will
41:41absolutely
41:43show
41:43you
41:44the
41:44Epstein
41:44file.
41:46Then
41:47they
41:47showed
41:47him
41:47the
41:47files
41:48he
41:48said
41:48bitch
41:49is
41:49that
41:49my
41:50name?
41:51You
41:52got me
41:52fucked
41:52up.
41:53better
41:54ever
42:04since
42:06ever
42:06since
42:06grabber
42:07by
42:08the
42:08pussy
42:11I
42:11thought
42:11he
42:12could
42:12never
42:12say
42:13anything
42:13else
42:15make
42:16me
42:16put
42:16my
42:16blunt
42:16out.
42:19This
42:20month
42:21a
42:23legend
42:24he
42:25said
42:25he
42:27spoke
42:27with
42:28the
42:28president
42:28of
42:30Puerto
42:30Rico
42:31and
42:32the
42:33Virgin
42:33Islands.
42:35My
42:35whole
42:36brain
42:36scrambled.
42:47sir
42:48you
42:48are
42:49the
42:49president
42:50of
42:51Puerto
42:51Rico
42:53and
42:54the
42:54Virgin
42:54Islands.
42:57So
42:58the
42:58question
42:59is
42:59who
43:01the
43:01fuck
43:01was you
43:02talking
43:02to?
43:04JD
43:05Vance
43:05was in a
43:06corner
43:06this is
43:06Puerto
43:07Rico
43:07sir.
43:13Trump
43:14is
43:14just
43:14funny.
43:16He
43:17didn't
43:17even
43:17know
43:17who
43:18Bad
43:19Bunny
43:19was.
43:21He
43:22said
43:22I
43:22don't
43:23think
43:23a
43:23Hispanic
43:24rabbit
43:26should be
43:27at the
43:27Super
43:28Bowl.
43:38from
43:39the
43:39outside
43:40looking
43:40in
43:42it
43:43would
43:43seem
43:43like
43:43this
43:44country
43:45should
43:45be
43:45at
43:46its
43:46most
43:46divided
43:48but
43:49I
43:49promise
43:49you
43:50the
43:51reason
43:51this
43:52is
43:52the
43:52greatest
43:53country
43:53in
43:53the
43:53world
43:54is
43:54because
43:55we
43:55are
43:55the
43:56United
43:56States
43:57of
43:57America
43:58heavy
43:58on
43:59the
43:59United
44:00regardless
44:01of what
44:01we
44:02believe.
44:05And the
44:06whole
44:06thing
44:07is
44:07as a
44:08family
44:08of
44:09different
44:09colors
44:11we
44:11gonna
44:12need
44:12each
44:12other
44:12coming
44:13up.
44:14They
44:14not
44:14telling
44:15you
44:15that
44:15shit.
44:16You
44:17gonna
44:17have
44:17to
44:17depend
44:18on
44:18somebody
44:19that
44:20don't
44:20look
44:20like
44:21you.
44:22Yeah.
44:23See
44:24we
44:24are
44:24scheduled
44:25to
44:26starve
44:26to
44:26death.
44:28Lest
44:29we
44:29work
44:29together.
44:31For
44:31the
44:31first
44:32time
44:32in
44:32400
44:33years
44:33it's
44:34gonna
44:35be
44:35no
44:35Hispanics
44:36in
44:37the
44:37field
44:39to
44:40pick
44:40the
44:40fruits
44:41and
44:41the
44:41vegetables
44:42and
44:43the
44:43crops
44:44that
44:45we
44:45all
44:45eat
44:46and
44:46enjoy.
44:49So
44:49that
44:50mean
44:50the
44:51next
44:51group
44:52got
44:53to
44:53step
44:54up
44:56get
44:56in
44:56the
44:57field
44:59pit
45:00these
45:00crops
45:03look
45:04at
45:04black
45:04people
45:06I
45:13don't
45:13speak
45:14for
45:14all
45:14black
45:14people
45:14but
45:15I
45:15do
45:15speak
45:15for
45:16all
45:16niggas
45:17niggas
45:18ain't
45:18never
45:18going
45:19back
45:19to
45:19the
45:19field
45:21if
45:21Jesus
45:22come
45:22back
45:22we'll
45:23have
45:23to
45:23explain
45:23it
45:24to
45:24him
45:24get
45:24out
45:24of
45:25there
45:25Lord
45:25and
45:25Savior
45:26we
45:27got
45:27400
45:27years
45:28of
45:28reddit
45:28out
45:29there
45:30we
45:31don't
45:31even
45:31pick
45:31fruit
45:32roll-ups
45:34so
45:35that
45:35mean
45:35for
45:36the
45:36first
45:36time
45:38in
45:38400
45:39years
45:40it's
45:41not
45:41gonna
45:41be
45:41no
45:42Hispanics
45:44and
45:44no
45:44blacks
45:45in
45:46the
45:46field
45:47to
45:48pick
45:48the
45:48fruits
45:49and
45:49vegetables
45:50that
45:51we
45:51all
45:51enjoy
45:52that
45:54mean
45:54the
45:54next
45:54group
45:56got to
45:57sliver
45:59getting
46:00them
46:00peels
46:01look at
46:03my
46:03white
46:03friends
46:06that's
46:06right
46:07white
46:07friends
46:10it's
46:11your
46:11time
46:12we
46:13need
46:14you
46:14now
46:16come
46:16on
46:17white
46:17friends
46:19you
46:19can do
46:20this
46:21you
46:22I want you to get as much sunscreen as you can legally find
46:31we gonna need you to be out there for 45 minutes to an hour at a time
46:38we need you white friends
46:41and don't worry it ain't gonna be fucked up like black slavery
46:47you ain't gonna have to do it by yourself
46:50we gonna be out there supporting you white friends
46:53giving you words of affirmation and positive messages we gonna be playing white negro spirituals
47:08doing a great job Rebecca put your back into it there you go
47:16can i get some oranges on our 26 please god damn
47:25just saying we all gonna need each other
47:29yeah
47:32life is too hard
47:34for us to be divided
47:37i found out
47:38from traveling all across this great nation
47:41a lot of people do some great motherfucking work they don't get no credit
47:46this whole country is built on the backs of farmers
47:50farmers is our motherfucking lifeblood the people that got a farm
47:54that you run the fucking country
47:57feeding everybody
48:00that's a hard job
48:02that shit is not easy
48:04i don't give a fuck how much money you got
48:07you ain't ready for that motherfucking farm life
48:09and that when i say you i mean me
48:14i did not know that shit was gangster like that
48:18it's hard as fuck
48:20i hurry up bought a hundred acre farm
48:23got off the grid
48:25then found out what the fuck the grid was
48:29like what the fuck did i get off the grid for bitch i need the grid
48:34i found out i'm not cut out for this motherfucking farm life
48:38i bought all the animals that was delicious
48:43a hundred chickens a hundred turkeys a hundred ducks a hundred rabbits
48:48a hundred cows a hundred sheep
48:51a hundred pigs
48:52everything that made a crackling i bought it
48:57i done had this farm for four years
48:59we ain't killed a motherfucking animal yet
49:05i don't know how you do this shit
49:08i'm supposed to eat these
49:09these my friends bitch
49:13i done named them
49:15i talked to them
49:16you want me to eat hezekiah bitch
49:23and had this farm four years
49:25we still door dashing popeyes and shit
49:28the chickens cutting off the door dasher
49:37might as well call it puss ass farms
49:41i don't care how delicious they are
49:43they are as cute as they are delicious
49:46if you can kill a baby goat
49:48your ass is a monster
49:50that motherfucker don't do nothing
49:52but be happy to be alive all day long
49:58i'm crying with mint jelly in my hands
50:04yeah
50:06be easy on yourself
50:09that was my motherfucking point
50:11some shit be easier than you think
50:13i'm lucky because i don't have to fight
50:15by myself
50:17i got a god
50:18that love me
50:20like he
50:21he take care of me
50:23because he know i'm slow
50:27so he treat me like i'm slow
50:30yeah
50:30that works for me
50:32he just be blessing me out of nowhere
50:35i don't know where it's gonna come from
50:37or nothing
50:38and it be real miracles
50:41like
50:43like last year
50:45i was doing this thing where i was drinking these exotic teas
50:49every day before a show and after a show
50:51drinking these motherfucking hundred dollar a cup
50:54cups of tea and shit
50:57and put the honey in it
50:58and my friend was like i got some special honey i'm gonna send you
51:01and i was like yes
51:03and i got the special honey
51:05i start putting it in the tea
51:06every day
51:07and i'm feeling stronger and stronger and shit
51:10i'm not knowing what the fuck is happening
51:12and i found out this nigga done sent me
51:15dick hard honey
51:25i didn't know i thought the lord was really answering my prayers
51:30he has rejuvenated and restored to me
51:38because here's the whole thing
51:41this final group
51:42of people in here
51:44nobody never say nothing good about them
51:47but they've been doing a great job too
51:49and i'm part of them
51:51where's all the men in the building make some noise
51:54if you're a man
51:56keep up the good work
51:59we know how hard it is
52:00you're doing a great motherfucking job
52:02not 19 of you
52:03but the rest of you
52:04doing a great job
52:06keep up the good work
52:07for the men in the audience
52:10i'm gonna say something
52:12that'll uplift you
52:14because that rarely happens
52:17they found out something medically
52:19and they don't want to fucking tell y'all
52:22but i'm gonna fucking tell you
52:25they found out that all the evil men
52:27in the world
52:28throughout history
52:30all got one thing in common
52:33they all got a micro penis
52:38all of them
52:40r kelly p diddy jeffrey doma hitler
52:44all of them
52:46mmmm
52:47yep
52:49and a micro penis
52:51is any penis
52:53three inches or less
52:55when it's hard
52:58we wondering why these men be so evil
53:03you'd be evil too
53:04if you had a dick the size of an hour later
53:07bitch
53:09every time you pull your pants down
53:11somebody laugh
53:13even when you alone
53:18so fellas
53:20thank god
53:22you didn't have to walk that
53:25be grateful
53:26you ain't got no motherfucking
53:28micro penis
53:32so now
53:33for the fellas
53:35i hope
53:36you are just one truth away
53:39from your life shifting
53:41and it can happen
53:43it happened to me
53:44i heard one thing
53:45it changed my life
53:47forever
53:47i heard one truth
53:49and it changed everything
53:51and i'm gonna share it
53:52with the men in here
53:53so you know
53:54it don't just relate to me
53:56it relate to all of us
53:58two women told me
54:01that my dick
54:03was bigger than shacks
54:06let me say that again
54:08for the people in the back
54:14don't look at it right now
54:16that's embarrassing
54:17two women told me
54:19my dick
54:21was bigger than shacks
54:23now it don't matter
54:25if it's true
54:27or not
54:29soon as i heard it
54:32my life changed
54:34like i mean
54:36instantly
54:37my spine got strong
54:40my walk was different
54:41i walked like i had shacks
54:43dick
54:43hold up
54:45won't you be different
54:46be different
54:47yeah
54:47hold up
54:48won't you be different
54:50be different
54:50yeah
54:50hold up
54:51won't you be different
54:53be different
54:53be different
54:56cause now i know my dick
54:57is bigger than shacks
55:01now fellas
55:02what does that have to do
55:02with you
55:05you know your penis
55:06is allegedly
55:07probably maybe
55:08bigger than mine
55:11so what does that mean
55:13that means
55:14all our dick
55:20bigger than shacks
55:23and now you gotta act like it
55:25cause you heard it
55:28that's right
55:30fellas if god done bless you
55:31with a vagina in your life
55:34don't you bring out
55:35no regular dick tonight
55:37she gonna be looking
55:40tonight when you come out
55:41that bathroom
55:42you come out with
55:43shacks dick
55:46don't even do no foreplay
55:48just slam dunk on the pussy
55:50she like the way that i move
55:51she like the way that i rock
55:53she like the way that i move
55:55she like the way that i move
55:56she like the way that i move
55:57lock in
56:01give her that shacks dick
56:04and ladies we can't do
56:05nothing without y'all
56:06y'all are the center of our
56:09universe
56:10we are visual
56:12and you are our only
56:14visual
56:16so tonight
56:17ladies
56:19when you see him come out
56:21that bathroom
56:22you know him
56:25if he come out with
56:26shacks dick
56:28ladies we gonna need you
56:30to be an actress
56:31tonight
56:33i need you to act
56:35i don't give a fuck
56:37how many times
56:37you done seen this
56:38by eating a sausage
56:43when he present that
56:44glizzy tonight
56:47when he show you
56:48that hot dog
56:49tonight
56:51when he bring out
56:52that frankfurter
56:56women i want you to look at it
56:58like it's exactly what you ask god for
57:03lock eyes with the penis and say
57:05muscle
57:09thank y'all so much
57:10my name is kat williams
57:12i appreciate y'all
57:14since 1995
57:15it's been an honor
57:16thank y'all
57:35i'm in a city where the flag be getting thrown like it was past interference padlock around the building crash
57:40pulling up in unmarked truck just to play freeze tag with a bone to pick like it was c-bass
57:45so when i made it out i made about 50k from a show
57:47trying to show the ropes before they hung from a rope
57:50i'm prophetic
57:50they only talk about it how i get it
57:52only good for saving face
57:54seeing the cosmetics
57:55how many heads i gotta take to level my aesthetics
57:57hurry up and get your muscle up
57:58we up to ply metric
58:00ran up by the luxo nessa up to highest metric
58:02the city just made it sweet
58:03you could die better
58:04they mouth get full of deceit
58:06let these cowards tell it
58:07walk in new orleans
58:07with the etiquette of la yelling
58:10mustard
58:14second bad but somebody gotta do it
58:16got my foot up on the gas
58:17but somebody gotta do it
58:18turn this tv off
58:19turn this tv off
58:20turn this tv off
58:22turn this tv off
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