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00:00:00Doobie, doobie.
00:00:30Doobie, doobie.
00:00:32Doobie, doobie.
00:00:35Doobie.
00:00:37That was a lie.
00:00:52Jesus?
00:00:56Were you watching me sleep again?
00:00:58You naughty boy.
00:01:01Play your cards right.
00:01:03You just might catch me on my knees a little bit later.
00:01:07Bye.
00:01:27I was raised on stories.
00:01:30Great love and glory.
00:01:32Sweet tea on the porch in the afternoon.
00:01:36Never shy away from hard work.
00:01:40Sunshine, sweating red dirt.
00:01:42Cooling off at the creek in the heat of June.
00:01:45If you need me.
00:01:49If you need me.
00:01:49Now I'm finally.
00:01:51With my family.
00:01:53By my side.
00:02:00Amen.
00:02:01For God's help and his only be God.
00:02:03Ah!
00:02:04Oh!
00:02:08Dang it, Mama!
00:02:10Did you leave your earl laying around again?
00:02:16Mama!
00:02:17Hi, child.
00:02:18I'm watching my soaps.
00:02:20Well, I'm off to work.
00:02:22The pokes ain't gonna run themselves.
00:02:23I beg you, Terry Jo.
00:02:26Please, take some pride in your appearance.
00:02:29You're basically popping out of that dress,
00:02:31looking like a can of biscuits.
00:02:35Mama, you made this dress for me, you know?
00:02:37I think it fits mighty fine.
00:02:39Bad enough, you got a face that looks like it's been chewed up and spit out.
00:02:44And they're not obese into that and it's just downright criminal.
00:02:48Oh, ain't that tobacco on the kettle black?
00:02:50I beg your pardon.
00:02:52Don't you backsass me, girl.
00:02:54Get back here and bring me my meats.
00:03:00Best bring me back my Debbie cakes.
00:03:03My wells run dry.
00:03:05Yes, ma'am.
00:03:11Bring me my meats.
00:03:13Bring me cake.
00:03:15Ain't your arteries clogged enough as it is?
00:03:18Fat bitch.
00:03:21So tired of her.
00:03:23What is hotter than a whore in church out here?
00:03:26So tired of going to work.
00:03:28I need a man.
00:03:30Take care of me.
00:03:32Kiss me on the mouth.
00:03:35Pay all my bills.
00:03:38That sounds like the life to me.
00:03:40Woo!
00:03:43That's how I am.
00:03:44Hello there, pretty lady.
00:03:46Now, I ain't no bull or nothing, but you sure do got my heart a bucking.
00:03:51Name's Bo.
00:03:53Bo Taylor.
00:03:55Oh, come on now.
00:03:56I know those feet must be howling like a pack of feral hounds.
00:03:59Why don't you come on in and let Bo take you for a ride.
00:04:03I enjoy walking.
00:04:04Move right along.
00:04:06Well, come on.
00:04:07Old lady is sweet and pretty as you should be subjected to walking.
00:04:11I said I'm...
00:04:23Oh, um, my mama says it's good for me to walk.
00:04:28It's good for my figure.
00:04:29Well, I think your figure's just fine.
00:04:31More than fine.
00:04:35Where you headed?
00:04:37Uh, the Chitlin corner.
00:04:39My shift starts in ten.
00:04:42I'll have you there in five.
00:04:45Okay.
00:04:48Yeah.
00:04:50Yeah.
00:04:53So, you said you work over at the Chitlin corner, huh?
00:04:56Oh, yeah.
00:04:58What's that like?
00:05:00Same shit, different toilet.
00:05:02Co-workers that ain't worth the damn, and a boss that ain't done any actual work in a month of
00:05:06Sunday.
00:05:08Like, we've been meaning to hang up these new cameras, you know, real high-tech stuff.
00:05:12Mm.
00:05:13But the boss can't seem to take his thumb out of his ass long enough to put the buggers up.
00:05:17Well, that's a damn shame.
00:05:19Don't I know it?
00:05:24Oh, my God, I love this song!
00:05:30And he had the most majestic blue eyes.
00:05:33That boy was finer than frog hair.
00:05:38Hello?
00:05:39Hello?
00:05:41Oh, sorry.
00:05:42How you doing today?
00:05:44Thank you for leaving this shit-fucking-yard.
00:05:47Outroaches.
00:05:49Ooh, valpire pellet.
00:05:51Now, this is a really good brand.
00:05:52I got some myself.
00:05:55That'll be 19 even, ma'am.
00:05:59Next in line.
00:06:02So, like I was saying, Mike, I think I found my future suitor.
00:06:06How many times have you said that, Terry Jo?
00:06:08And how many times has it worked out?
00:06:12Look, maybe you should stop messing with those boys and find someone more distinguished with brown eyes.
00:06:19Maybe someone posted you, like, like in proximity.
00:06:24Oh.
00:06:25But this time it's different.
00:06:28God sent me my husband.
00:06:30Terry Taylor.
00:06:32Has an ass right to it, don't you think?
00:06:34Next to the line.
00:06:38We do not accept the APT.
00:06:40Everybody out.
00:06:47All right, everyone on the ground, this is a robbery.
00:06:49Come on, come on.
00:06:54Jackpot, baby.
00:06:55Where the fuck is everybody?
00:06:59Oh, I forgot to lock that thing.
00:07:01Oh.
00:07:02Goddammit.
00:07:02Bopper.
00:07:03I told you not to use latex, numbnuts.
00:07:06Oh, my God.
00:07:07It's Bo.
00:07:08Yeah, I thought it'd be scary, but the truth is, ain't nobody in here.
00:07:11You thought.
00:07:12Oh, dang, Bo, can we hurry this up?
00:07:14Mama's making tuna weenie beenie castle.
00:07:25I want the biggest weenie before Obadiah's badass shows up and grabs her.
00:07:28Oh, I hope she puts them little baby carrots in like last time.
00:07:31Hey, shut up.
00:07:32Both of you guys.
00:07:33Focus up.
00:07:34Put your mask on.
00:07:40How come it is you get to take your dang mask off?
00:07:43See my face, Bobby?
00:07:44Face too part of you covered up.
00:07:47He's got a point.
00:07:48Say, look it, Bo.
00:07:49We are focused, all right?
00:07:51It's Bobby.
00:07:51Man, I won't stop playing around with a gun.
00:07:53Huh?
00:07:53Huh?
00:07:54What you got to say to that?
00:07:55Who got the gun?
00:07:56Iron punch.
00:08:00I never got to tell you this, but I'm going to tell you now.
00:08:02Here, Joe.
00:08:03I love you.
00:08:05Bye, man.
00:08:09Dear Lord, forgive me for what I'm about to do.
00:08:16No, we gotta go, go.
00:08:17Come on, come on.
00:08:22Help.
00:08:24Oh, my God.
00:08:25Oh, my God.
00:08:27I can't help, Mama.
00:08:30Hello?
00:08:31This is Tamara.
00:08:33Mama.
00:08:34Mama, I need help.
00:08:35They're trying to kill me.
00:08:36Gotcha.
00:08:38Can't believe you, dumbass.
00:08:40What the fuck?
00:08:42Leave a message at me.
00:08:44What the fuck, Mama?
00:08:45You stupid, fat bitch.
00:08:47I hate you.
00:08:47Oh, my God.
00:08:48I'm going to go now.
00:08:50I'm going to go home.
00:08:51Oh, poor Mike.
00:08:53You didn't deserve to die.
00:08:56What the fuck?
00:08:58In here, I thought you were a good Christian girl.
00:09:01I am a Christian girl.
00:09:03You're a fucking murderer.
00:09:05Stay out of my head, Mama Lane!
00:09:09Then he said, tase me.
00:09:12Look me right in the eyes.
00:09:14Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:09:15So I did.
00:09:19What complaint do you have for us today, Terry Joe?
00:09:22Wait, wait.
00:09:23Ha, ha.
00:09:23Boom!
00:09:24Man, let me guess.
00:09:26The child is selling lemonade without a permit.
00:09:29Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:09:31Which is illegal and should be taken very seriously.
00:09:35But no, I'm here to report something much more heinous.
00:09:39Um, I've witnessed a robbery murder at the Chitlin Corner.
00:09:45And I almost lost my life.
00:09:46And come to think of it, neither you nor your deputies were there.
00:09:52Well, we weren't there.
00:09:54But we already got to line up.
00:09:56Poor Mike.
00:09:58Cut down in the prime of his life.
00:10:00No, no.
00:10:01Did you know him?
00:10:02Yep.
00:10:03I worked with him for three years.
00:10:04Of course, I knew them.
00:10:06God rest his soul.
00:10:08I plum forgot you work at Chitlin Corner.
00:10:11What a lucky break.
00:10:14Do you have time to look over the delinquents?
00:10:18What kind of proud member of the neighborhood watch would I be if I didn't?
00:10:22I'd love to.
00:10:23Now, when the light comes up, don't worry because they can't see you.
00:10:26This here's a two-way mirror.
00:10:28Just take your time.
00:10:30I'll be back here enjoying my banana and mayo sandwich.
00:10:34Okay.
00:10:37I think I'm ready.
00:10:40Double 24!
00:10:42Hand up!
00:10:50Many of these hol girls look familiar, date.
00:10:5728!
00:10:58Come forward!
00:11:02Is that him?
00:11:03Uh, I surely wish it was, but, um, as much as I hate to do this, I think it was
00:11:1424, Bo Taylor?
00:11:18Well, if it's Bo Taylor, it must be the Bob's too.
00:11:23Those pesky crime nappers have been terrorizing this county for months.
00:11:26We should have known.
00:11:27Oh, um, I think he can see me.
00:11:31No, you're fine.
00:11:32What is he doing?
00:11:41I see you.
00:11:45Oh, Jesus, he can see me.
00:11:47I'm going to die a virgin.
00:11:48What do I do?
00:11:49My apologies, ma'am.
00:11:51Damn budget cuts must have gotten the glass.
00:11:54Oh, my God.
00:11:56What is he doing?
00:11:58He's going to kill me.
00:11:59What am I supposed to do now?
00:12:02Maybe you should think about leaving town for a while.
00:12:06If you're not safe here, damn Bob's are still on the loose.
00:12:11You know what?
00:12:12No.
00:12:13As long as the birds are chirping and the Lord is shining his holy light on me, I'm protected.
00:12:20And I'm going to put my trust in him.
00:12:22I ain't going nowhere.
00:12:24I'm going to say right here, I belong.
00:12:27Goodbye.
00:12:29Goodbye.
00:12:29It's your life.
00:12:31Hey.
00:12:35We did one phone call, boy.
00:12:37Five minutes.
00:12:39Tops.
00:12:47Hello?
00:12:49What is this, Bobford?
00:12:50Bobford, put Bob in on your phone, you dumbass.
00:12:53There you go, boy.
00:12:54Snake guys.
00:12:55Hey, so what happened?
00:12:56I go right to jail.
00:12:58What do you mean, no?
00:12:59Why is this man over like I told you to?
00:13:01No free parking for you, pal.
00:13:03Go to her house, then.
00:13:15I sure followed through with the plant this time.
00:13:19Alright.
00:13:20His turn.
00:13:21Let's go.
00:13:27God!
00:13:28Dirty!
00:13:28Park Place Avenue!
00:13:30Let's go!
00:13:33Who's leaving your spars?
00:13:39Come on down!
00:13:46Where is she?
00:13:47Huh?
00:13:48Person, where the fuck is she, huh?
00:13:51Huh?
00:13:53God damn it, where is she?
00:13:56Get the fuck out of my house!
00:13:58Huh?
00:13:58I said, where the fuck is she?
00:14:00Billy!
00:14:01Hey, Joe!
00:14:02Get out of here, you piece of shit!
00:14:04Go away, Bob.
00:14:05One.
00:14:07I've got my TV!
00:14:11He's at church, down at church!
00:14:16Come on!
00:14:16Oh, damn.
00:14:18Get the fuck out, and if you find her, tell her not to bother coming home.
00:14:23Oh, yeah?
00:14:24We're taking your meats, too, you dumb fucking cut.
00:14:27I've got my TV!
00:14:36Mama, I'm home.
00:14:39Mama, I'm home.
00:14:42What happened?
00:14:44You happened, Terry Jo.
00:14:46Group of men came in here looking for you.
00:14:48Oh, no, Mama, I'm trying to...
00:14:50I don't know what kind of trouble you brought into my house, girl.
00:14:54I want you out today.
00:14:56Mama, you don't mean that.
00:14:57I mean, every damn word I said.
00:15:01I want you gone.
00:15:03Now.
00:15:03Well, where else am I supposed to go?
00:15:05I ain't never even been out of Louisiana.
00:15:08Ain't nobody gonna take me in here.
00:15:09That's a you problem.
00:15:11Get the fuck out of my house.
00:15:14You ain't never loved me.
00:15:45Mom?
00:15:49Hey.
00:16:07hello hello georgia georgia my mama don't kick me out she's such a fucking cunt hey you watch
00:16:16your mouth that's your aunt you're talking about you may be my cousin but that bitch is not my aunt
00:16:22so rude where are you so loud oh i'm sorry i'm in miami for some week georgia what am i
00:16:32gonna do
00:16:33i ain't never seen her that mad before are we still on that
00:16:41there i just bought your pathetic acid ticket to miami
00:16:44did you get it what hold on let me see this phone is a lot what sorry ever since barrick
00:16:54left office
00:16:55this damn old bomb the phone's been on the fridge okay i'm hanging up now hey no wait wait
00:17:01you actually want me to come to miami want you to come no what i want is a fat blood
00:17:09and a dick me
00:17:10down sesh with t sham oh and you off my phone goodbye oh wait the adios 555 hillcrest drive miami
00:17:18beach
00:17:18now bye
00:17:20how can i go bro i asked for reposado not blanco you fucking tart bard guess i'm going to miami
00:17:38hey hey i just seen terry chole
00:17:41damn she's a big bitch gas up the truck boys get the booger sugar ready we're going to miami
00:18:13i can't help myself i'll just know that i feel it
00:18:37i'll i'll be back
00:18:42i'll be back
00:18:43it's me
00:18:44i'm here
00:18:50what are you doing here you invited me what are you wearing what's wrong with your hair
00:18:58another reason for mama to be pissed what are you wearing where are the rest of your clothes
00:19:05are you drunk bitch not only am i drunk but i'm high as a bug
00:19:11oh wait you should come meet my friend emma she's cool emma this is my very distant relative
00:19:20i think she's homeless and like terminally ill
00:19:25what's your name again it's jerry joe it's jerry joe this is my bitch emma who met last year
00:19:31yachting at connie's oh yeah and our dad she's the butt fuck but that's a long story anyways
00:19:38you should drink something because you look kind of thirsty and so does your hair
00:19:44as the night is still young and so hard
00:19:50you're crazy
00:19:52is this the devil's nectar are you out of your cotton picking mine
00:19:57do you want me to go to hell like you
00:20:02lord forgive me for i have tainted your sacred blood
00:20:08oh god i think i'm gonna have an heart attack
00:20:11see i told you she had a terminal illness
00:20:15hey georgia come do a line off my dick
00:20:21oh gotta go 3d calls
00:20:23why don't you give jerry something to ease her mind
00:20:26hi it's cherry right it's terry well georgia's told me nothing about you but she ain't
00:20:38telling me nothing about you either or herself for that matter cool
00:20:44emma
00:20:44i think i'm off the door soon
00:20:51hey em you wouldn't have a type of aspirin would you my head is killing me
00:20:55it's emma
00:20:58here
00:21:10okay i'm gonna go find georgia now
00:21:17you know georgia said she needed to loosen up
00:21:23you're such an evil bitch
00:21:25you love me
00:21:31i'm gonna go find georgia now
00:21:38i'm gonna go find georgia now
00:21:45i'm gonna go find georgia now
00:21:59oh
00:21:59oh
00:21:59oh
00:21:59oh
00:21:59oh
00:22:06Hey!
00:22:25You new to Miami?
00:22:29Are you new to Miami?
00:22:32No, I'm just visiting.
00:22:36I'm Marcus.
00:22:37And you are?
00:22:38I'm not into Negroes.
00:22:51About tickles.
00:22:53Good.
00:22:56You're such a fucking whore.
00:23:00I am not.
00:23:02Are you okay?
00:23:04Yeah, I'm good.
00:23:05Just stick on.
00:23:09Oh, he's pretty, huh, tear bear?
00:23:12Do you think you can fit all of that inside of you?
00:23:15I can't do this.
00:23:17Sorry.
00:23:18I'm saving myself for marriage.
00:23:21Darling, that shit sailed a long time ago.
00:23:29Are you sure you're okay?
00:23:37I'm okay.
00:23:39I just can't have you deflower me.
00:23:42Goes against everything I believe.
00:24:08Relax, baby.
00:24:09Get comfortable with me, all right?
00:24:11Okay.
00:24:12I got you.
00:24:14Okay.
00:24:21Damn, you got nigger feet.
00:24:33Hop on time.
00:24:35Okay.
00:24:36Show me what them big-ass feet can do.
00:24:38These families are first.
00:24:40Bye.
00:24:43Hurry up.
00:24:45Come here.
00:24:47Come here.
00:24:47Come here.
00:24:47Come here, girl.
00:24:48Where are you?
00:24:49Where are you?
00:24:49Where are you?
00:24:51Where are you?
00:24:52Come here, girl.
00:24:53Give me a cow.
00:24:54Come here, girl.
00:24:55Come here.
00:24:57Come here.
00:24:59Come here.
00:25:00Come here.
00:25:00Come here.
00:25:01Boy.
00:25:06Marcus?
00:25:09Marcus?
00:25:12Marcus, get up.
00:25:14Hello, hello.
00:25:16Anybody in there?
00:25:17I gotta pay me, Bob.
00:25:18This ain't no damn bathroom.
00:25:21Marcus, get up.
00:25:22God, Marcus.
00:25:25Oh.
00:25:27Marcus.
00:25:30Marcus.
00:25:33Okay, Lord Jesus, help me.
00:25:36Where do I gotta go?
00:25:39Holy fuck.
00:25:41Georgia.
00:25:48Georgia, help me.
00:25:50Georgia.
00:25:52You okay?
00:25:53Back away from me, Marty Cone.
00:25:56You really should sit down and you don't look so good.
00:25:58Can you take one more step closer to me?
00:26:01And I'll strain.
00:26:02Everything's gonna be okay.
00:26:05How do you find my cousin's purse?
00:26:08Oh.
00:26:11Oh.
00:26:19Oh, it looks.
00:26:27Sarah, Emma.
00:26:34What's up?
00:26:37What's your fault?
00:26:43Oh, my god.
00:26:45Morning, Twerk-Terry.
00:26:48Why don't you just call me?
00:26:50Twerk-Terry.
00:26:51By the way, you were throwing that ass last night?
00:26:53Bitch, you earned it.
00:26:59What are you talking about?
00:27:01Look.
00:27:09No, no, no.
00:27:10No, I just need to repent.
00:27:12That's what it is.
00:27:13I just repent.
00:27:15You're going to need to do a lot of repenting
00:27:16from all that hunching you were doing last night.
00:27:18The what?
00:27:19You know, I knew Marcus like big girls
00:27:21because they call him Drigno BBL.
00:27:23But I didn't know you had a little taste for the jungle.
00:27:26Ooh, ah, ah!
00:27:28Oh, nigga!
00:27:29Ah!
00:27:31Oh, sorry.
00:27:32Oh, Beck just liked my post.
00:27:35What?
00:27:35My bad.
00:27:36Keep going.
00:27:37Oh, no.
00:27:38I've got to get out of here.
00:27:41I've got to get to the house.
00:27:42What?
00:27:42You came out here to party, and that's what you're doing?
00:27:45No, that's what you're doing.
00:27:47None of this is me.
00:27:49I've got to go.
00:27:54You're such a fucking loser.
00:28:00Such a big mistake.
00:28:02I should've stayed in Louisiana.
00:28:06I need to repent.
00:28:10Stupid fucking bitch.
00:28:12Fucking whore.
00:28:13I can't believe how I let that whore let me piss you like that,
00:28:15but I love a black man.
00:28:17Makes no sense.
00:28:19I can't believe I let that negroan take advantage of me.
00:28:22Still takes the unicy on my belt.
00:28:25Disgusting.
00:28:27As I live and breathe.
00:28:30Well, if this ain't divine intervention, I don't know what is.
00:28:34This is where I'm meant to be.
00:28:38Excuse me?
00:28:40Excuse me?
00:28:42You wouldn't happen to know where that is, would you?
00:28:48Oh, sorry.
00:28:49I forgot you blacks were illiterate.
00:28:51I am looking for church.
00:28:54I speak English, you fat bitch.
00:28:58I don't have time for this, Morgan Friedman.
00:29:00Are you going to help me or are you just going to keep pulling my leg?
00:29:04No offense.
00:29:05What's in it for me?
00:29:06Ain't nothing for free.
00:29:09Well, you get to help a young Christian woman find her way to God again.
00:29:12Girl, I got one leg and two mouths to feed.
00:29:16Two mouths?
00:29:17I only see you.
00:29:18This here is Sheila.
00:29:20Usually, her mouth is full.
00:29:22But right now, she's starving.
00:29:24I'm hungry, bitch!
00:29:25My star is up.
00:29:27Okay, well, um, here.
00:29:31Now we're talking.
00:29:33I've been there a few Thanksgiving's ago.
00:29:35They had greens, beans, tomatoes, potatoes, and chicken and turkey.
00:29:39Your name!
00:29:40Okay.
00:29:41Well, where is it?
00:29:42Well, you go about ten blocks up and four blocks to the left.
00:29:46Ten blocks?
00:29:47Oh, no.
00:29:48I'm going to sit right here and wait for the bus.
00:29:50Like hell you will.
00:29:51Ain't no bus been around here since the Bush administration.
00:29:55My God.
00:29:55It's one thing after another in this town.
00:29:58Thank you, I guess.
00:30:00Come on, Sheila.
00:30:03We're going to go get our freak on.
00:30:05No, it's at five after six or before seven.
00:30:08You know, having a redneck teaching math is like having an Asian teacher on a drive.
00:30:13Just stay right.
00:30:18Motherfucker.
00:30:19Damn it!
00:30:21I knew I shouldn't trust no colored man.
00:30:23Who is she leading me to a damn chicken shack?
00:30:31Come on.
00:30:34Come on.
00:30:35Come on.
00:30:36Come on.
00:30:38Come on.
00:30:47Quiet!
00:30:49Sounds like a bunch of monkeys in here.
00:30:51I can hardly hear my stuff in.
00:30:52I think you better get the fuck from in front of me in this line.
00:30:55I know you saw me standing here.
00:30:57Hot down, Scarf.
00:30:58You know, if I was built like a 12-year-old boy as a 50-year-old man, I would
00:31:01be pissed,
00:31:02too.
00:31:02But you're just going to have to wait your turn.
00:31:04Bitch, you must be out of your rabbit-ass mind.
00:31:06I got this.
00:31:08I'm looking for the love and friendship charge.
00:31:09Girl, you almost got cut.
00:31:11And I'm not talking about in line.
00:31:13Now order or get out.
00:31:15Fine, if you insist.
00:31:18This again?
00:31:19This again?
00:31:23Okay, you know what?
00:31:24I'm going to have your four-piece extra crispy, all thighs, and a large sweet tea.
00:31:30Don't skip me on my sugar.
00:31:31I like it sweet.
00:31:35Oh, oh.
00:31:36And two drumsticks on that, too.
00:31:39Come on.
00:31:39Come on.
00:31:41Come on.
00:31:41Come on.
00:31:42Come on.
00:31:42Come on.
00:31:43Come on.
00:31:46Come on.
00:31:47Come on.
00:31:48Come on.
00:31:53Come on.
00:31:54Come on.
00:31:57Oh, Lord.
00:31:58The smiling mind helped me now.
00:32:02Now breathe into your smiling mind with me.
00:32:07And one.
00:32:09And two.
00:32:10And three.
00:32:12You know what?
00:32:13Oh, man, what the hell are you doing?
00:32:14I ain't trying to be out here until a cow's come home.
00:32:16Yeah, but my cooter hurts from riding that truck all night, Bo.
00:32:19I can't walk right.
00:32:20What the hell do you mean you can't?
00:32:21Can't never could.
00:32:23Mm-hmm.
00:32:23Turkey.
00:32:23You know, if Bo didn't drive like me, Ma, well...
00:32:27What?
00:32:27Nothing.
00:32:29That's what I thought.
00:32:31Dang.
00:32:34You sure that's the right address?
00:32:37Ain't no way in hell Aretha Franklin can pull this off.
00:32:39Yeah, sure as shit.
00:32:41Yeah.
00:32:42All right.
00:32:42Listen up.
00:32:43Y'all gonna follow my lead.
00:32:44I'm gonna do the talking.
00:32:45Y'all shut your nuts.
00:32:46Just follow a bow.
00:32:54The green juice, babe.
00:32:56That's the key.
00:32:57If you want your body half as T as mine, pair that with the gym, and I promise your body
00:33:02will be looking right.
00:33:04That's the key.
00:33:05Well, not as good as mine, but something, you know?
00:33:09But cheers.
00:33:12Georgia, didn't you get a BBL?
00:33:16We're coming.
00:33:18Coming!
00:33:19Oh.
00:33:26Hey there, ma'am.
00:33:28Oh, sorry.
00:33:30Did somebody say train?
00:33:32Because I'm trying to take a ride on the cowboy express.
00:33:36Choo-choo.
00:33:39No, we're actually, we're looking for our dear old friend, Terry Jo.
00:33:44And she sent us this address to come and have dinner, and we just wonder if she's here.
00:33:50Or if the owner of this place is here.
00:33:54Um, you're talking to her?
00:33:56Um.
00:33:57Shit.
00:33:58Are you guys undercover cops?
00:34:00Because we're doing a shitload of coke in here.
00:34:02Okay.
00:34:03No, damn it.
00:34:04I'm just kidding.
00:34:04Just kidding.
00:34:06We're actually part of her prayer meetup group.
00:34:10That fake book thing?
00:34:11Um.
00:34:12That's all right.
00:34:12Look, I have no clue where she is.
00:34:15The bitch stormed out earlier, and I haven't seen her since, so.
00:34:18Georgia!
00:34:18I think I got coochie lice!
00:34:22Not again.
00:34:24Sorry I couldn't be much help, but a bitch's got stuff to do.
00:34:28But if you want to come back later, the door will be unlocked.
00:34:32Just leave the uggles at home.
00:34:34Bye.
00:34:36Georgia!
00:34:37Coming!
00:34:39Well, I'll be damned.
00:34:40She got a fake book account.
00:34:42Check it, Bobford.
00:34:43What the hell are you doing?
00:34:47Mmm.
00:34:49I can't find her.
00:34:50She ain't got no account.
00:34:51Let me see that damn thing.
00:34:54This ain't fake book, you hillbilly hobbit.
00:34:56This is your grinder page.
00:34:58Oh.
00:35:08Home-style chicken, huh?
00:35:10All right.
00:35:10Come on, boys.
00:35:11We got her.
00:35:13Girl!
00:35:14Lord have mercy.
00:35:17Now that was some good eating.
00:35:21Oh, were you raised in a barnyard?
00:35:24Did your mama teach you no mannerisms?
00:35:27Excuse me?
00:35:29Pollicles by Nicole.
00:35:31I do hair on the side.
00:35:32And bitch, you most definitely need to come see me.
00:35:35Your weave looking a hot ass nest.
00:35:37Sweetheart, this is not a weave.
00:35:39This is all my natural hair.
00:35:41Well, bitch, if that's your natural hair, then I'm Megan Thee Stallion.
00:35:46You need a fresh install.
00:35:47Pronto.
00:35:48I'm not even gonna pretend like I know who Megan Thee Pony is, or what an install is.
00:35:52Can you move right along?
00:35:53Well, look.
00:35:53We located on Lincoln in Aventura, if you change your mind.
00:35:57I won't.
00:35:57I actually have an appointment with Love and Friendship Church.
00:36:00Do you know where that is?
00:36:02Girl, just use your phone.
00:36:04Oh, this Obama phone don't get nothing but fake book and the weather.
00:36:07All I know is that all the churches is to the south.
00:36:10I gotta go take my break now.
00:36:13Good luck.
00:36:14Bye.
00:36:15What's gonna stop me?
00:36:16Come on, baby.
00:36:17Show you.
00:36:18I'm...
00:36:19I'm...
00:36:20I'm...
00:36:21I'm here.
00:36:25Hey.
00:36:31Woo!
00:36:31That chicken smells so good.
00:36:32Bobby, focus up, damn it.
00:36:34Now, y'all shut up.
00:36:36Pay attention.
00:36:37Follow old Bo.
00:36:38Hey!
00:36:40No loitering!
00:36:44If you ain't ordering or eating chicken, you gots to go.
00:36:52Bopper.
00:36:52Bobby.
00:36:53Follow me.
00:36:54Bob Ann.
00:36:55Stay here.
00:36:56You're kind of welcome.
00:36:56Come here.
00:36:57Come here.
00:36:57Hey.
00:36:59Ooh.
00:37:01Are you fucking lesbian?
00:37:03Pardon me, ma'am.
00:37:04I gotta apologize for my brothers there.
00:37:08They just get a little overexcited, is all.
00:37:17Is there something wrong with your face?
00:37:21You gotta take a shit or something?
00:37:24No.
00:37:26Shut up!
00:37:27Shut up!
00:37:28Well, good afternoon.
00:37:30It's a lovely day.
00:37:31I'm sorry.
00:37:31I don't want to bother you, but we got this friend.
00:37:33She's in our fake book message group, Bible study, and we just got...
00:37:37Well, we just got an important Jesus message for her, and I just...
00:37:40I wonder if you've seen her?
00:37:43Shit.
00:37:44Five-0.
00:37:47I don't know nothing, but she was just in here going in on some chicken.
00:37:52So you saw her?
00:37:56I ain't no snitch.
00:37:58But if I was, I told you her hair looked a hot-ass mess.
00:38:02I told her to come see me.
00:38:05I do here on the side.
00:38:08Uh...
00:38:08You should come see me, too.
00:38:10I do all textures.
00:38:12I don't know nothing else.
00:38:20Bo!
00:38:21Please!
00:38:21Please!
00:38:22Can't we get some chicken?
00:38:23I'm so hungry I could eat Martha June.
00:38:26Who is that?
00:38:27Bo's ex-girlfriend from middle school.
00:38:29Big boobs.
00:38:29Itty-bitty waist.
00:38:31What are you talking about, Bobby?
00:38:33Hey, are you huffing whippets again?
00:38:35Lord!
00:38:37Oh, honey, I am run ragged.
00:38:41I wish I could hang these feet up like Sunday laundry.
00:38:45Oh, God, help me.
00:38:52Excuse me, La Nino.
00:38:54Excuse me.
00:38:55Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where the Love and Friendship Church is, would you?
00:38:59I don't need to be scared, ain't immigration?
00:39:03But I do have them on speed dials, so you do best to mind me, boy.
00:39:09Hey, what's going on over there?
00:39:12It's a lechon.
00:39:14English, primo.
00:39:16A puerco asado?
00:39:18Man, a cookout!
00:39:20Fish fry?
00:39:20Barbecue?
00:39:21Oh!
00:39:22Why did you say that first?
00:39:24Well, ain't you gonna introduce me?
00:39:26Anybody taught you no manners?
00:39:27Mom wants to test out.
00:39:29Hey.
00:39:31Hey.
00:39:45Hey.
00:39:54This gorilla is asking for food.
00:39:57Please, don't let me eat.
00:40:00Thank you, amigo.
00:40:02I'll take it from here.
00:40:04Hey, everybody.
00:40:05This is my friend Terry Joe.
00:40:07We met last night.
00:40:08Please make her feel welcome.
00:40:11Hi.
00:40:12Hi.
00:40:13Hi.
00:40:16I remember you from last night.
00:40:18You took care of me.
00:40:19I never got a chance to say thank you.
00:40:21You were in pretty bad shape.
00:40:22But I'm happy to see you're feeling better.
00:40:24I'm gonna be in the worst shape in hell for the things I was doing last night.
00:40:28I can't believe I let myself get consumed by temptation like that.
00:40:32I need to find my way back to God.
00:40:34Give yourself some grace.
00:40:36We all fall short of his glory.
00:40:38Well, bless your heart.
00:40:40You know, I really needed to hear that.
00:40:41It's all a part of his plan.
00:40:44Now, let's get you some food.
00:40:46Gotta tell me twice.
00:40:53Hey, it's my van in the fall.
00:40:54Take your fuck.
00:40:54No, no.
00:40:56I'm in the fall.
00:41:00Oh, shit, she posted.
00:41:03She's a picture of this bitch eating again.
00:41:05No, Bo, there's a street sign.
00:41:07Look, she's at the corner of...
00:41:10Call me and...
00:41:12My...
00:41:13My...
00:41:15Put it in the maps.
00:41:20Baby, she's across town.
00:41:22Let's go!
00:41:29I got it, baby.
00:41:30We got out of bed.
00:41:31Hey, baby, I got down.
00:41:33Let's get it.
00:41:34Oh, shit, my man.
00:41:52We got out of bed.
00:41:59I got out of bed.
00:42:04We got out of bed.
00:42:05We got out of bed.
00:42:05We got out of bed.
00:42:05We got out of bed.
00:42:07We got out of bed.
00:42:07We got out of bed.
00:42:09We got out of bed.
00:42:10We got out of bed.
00:43:13You got some kind of nerve.
00:43:15Pardon me?
00:43:16Homestyle chicken.
00:43:19I never forget when a bitch plays with my food.
00:43:22Sorry, you must have been confusing someone else.
00:43:24You cut me in line.
00:43:25Then you ordered the last extra crispy chicken thigh dinner, and now you won over one of my queens.
00:43:30I ought to whoop your ass right now.
00:43:32Well, hold on.
00:43:33Now, that chicken thing wasn't my fault.
00:43:35It's not my fault that black-owned businesses are negligent.
00:43:37I ain't got time for this.
00:43:40You are going to fix this now.
00:43:42Or a doctor's going to have to fix your face after I'm done rearranging the motherfucker.
00:43:57Get off of me.
00:44:00You're a homosexual.
00:44:02A what?
00:44:04You're all homosexual.
00:44:06Sexious.
00:44:09Um, sure.
00:44:10Aren't you?
00:44:11I'm a Christian woman, and I would not have my faith compromised.
00:44:15Get in the hell out of you.
00:44:17Girl, my back is killing me.
00:44:19That will be the last shablam that I'm doing this week.
00:44:21And I'm going to need some wings.
00:44:23This is disgusting.
00:44:25A bunch of men playing dress-up.
00:44:28Honey, we don't play.
00:44:29We do.
00:44:30No, what you're doing is sinful.
00:44:32Thinking you can wear womanhood like a damn Halloween costume.
00:44:36Honey, a sin is thinking that you can squeeze those size 16 hooks into those size 6 flats.
00:44:45Oh, no.
00:44:46I don't touch homosexuals.
00:44:48Unlike you all, I'm a real woman.
00:44:51No, you're a bitch.
00:44:54I'm leaving now.
00:44:55No, you're not going anywhere.
00:44:57You took out our closing act.
00:44:59You are going to perform tonight.
00:45:02I'm not doing it.
00:45:03Trust me, girl.
00:45:04You don't want to cross her name.
00:45:06I've seen her do worse for less.
00:45:08Oh.
00:45:11Okay, then what performance would y'all have me do?
00:45:14Sing.
00:45:15Dance.
00:45:16Shove a pogo stick up your ass while reciting the alphabet backwards.
00:45:18I don't give a shit.
00:45:21Well, I used to sing in the church choir back home.
00:45:24Works for me.
00:45:27But don't get up there hooting and hollering and praise dancing.
00:45:34Sorry, God.
00:45:42Sorry.
00:46:00After all the busy bees stop us in.
00:46:08Tower bells know it's too late to shine.
00:46:14You can wish on wishes but it does it.
00:46:22Dream time.
00:46:24Huh.
00:46:24I wouldn't have known the bitch have hikes.
00:46:26Well, honey.
00:46:27Look at her.
00:46:28It's a known fact that all big bitches can sing.
00:46:31Dream time.
00:46:34Dream time.
00:46:37Close your eyes and let the moon shine.
00:46:44There will always be a next time.
00:46:51Waiting for you.
00:47:00So until the morning when you're waking.
00:47:07Try to leave the memories behind.
00:47:14There'll be second chances for the taking.
00:47:21Dream time.
00:47:33Dream time.
00:47:53damn girl you may look like a beluga whale but i didn't know you could blow down like that
00:47:58beluga so who taught you how to sing like that let me guess you get it from your mama
00:48:05no she wishes that woman sounds like two other cats fighting over last week's tuna punch pie
00:48:11tuna punch pie that's just vile where the hell are you from louisiana born and raised
00:48:17you never had tuna punch pie well if you ain't swamp water podunk backwoods i don't know what is
00:48:23yeah
00:48:27so dorothy
00:48:30what you doing all the way out here oh well it's a long story but my mama kicked me out
00:48:36i'm on the count of them pissed her off one too many times i don't know what's wrong with me
00:48:42i was
00:48:42getting myself into some kind of trouble such an idiot oh don't be too hard on yourself child
00:48:50i was kicked out of my house too my daddy came home and caught me playing in my mama's lipstick
00:48:55and dress and sent me right on out the door stripped me naked and beat me to the white meat
00:49:03that sounds
00:49:03just awful what even a homo deserves that kind of treatment well took a few pots pissed in and a
00:49:12few
00:49:12doors slammed in my face but i finally found my new family right here in this very club
00:49:20i wish i had such luck you know i've been trying to find this church all day and it's so
00:49:27annoying
00:49:28because hey maybe you can come with me and we can have somebody pray those demons out of you
00:49:35oh no honey i gave up my church on days a long time ago but why everybody loves church where
00:49:42was the
00:49:42church when my daddy was whooping me all up and down the streets this here is my church and my
00:49:50religion
00:49:50is holding a safe space for me my girls gays days and whatever the hell else is out there to
00:49:59just
00:49:59me and honey god ain't in the church he's in the heart you're right about that oh okay
00:50:21wait you don't have age do you
00:50:30my damn cigarette what you gotta ask sometimes you never know now where you staying at tonight
00:50:35because the bitch is about to get out of here and untuck and unwind well i don't really know about
00:50:41that to be honest with you well come on you can stay with me and we could wash this dirty
00:50:45ass dress too
00:50:47i couldn't i don't want to put you out like that oh hush up girl now let's get out of
00:50:52here boy i
00:50:53change my mind just don't go trying to touch me in my sleep i like my candy on a stick
00:50:59not in a box
00:51:01well honey you don't have to worry about that with me well good honey what you do have to worry
00:51:05about
00:51:05when you take one of these rare bulls that's what they're for
00:51:24wake up sorry sons of bitches somebody check the fake boob
00:51:32okay no nothing
00:51:36oh hey boys oh about time to train the old trails or snake
00:51:41i gotta take a dunk i'm hungry
00:51:43shut up we're running out of time we are running out of food we're running out of money
00:51:52well it's gonna figure something
00:51:54jesus christ bo look what those crazy cubans did to your truck
00:51:57now listen here you
00:52:01handsome motherfucker
00:52:03i ain't eat nothing since them weenie dogs at 7-eleven yesterday and if i don't get something in my
00:52:07stomach right now i'm gonna start eating these leather seats off your precious tarot you so much
00:52:11as think about touching my leather seats i will tie your ass to the back and i'll drag you home
00:52:19was i snoring last night well you know i was actually gonna ask if you were part wookie
00:52:23yeah i know i know you want to get to your church but you're one of my girls now oh
00:52:28and i can't have
00:52:29you out here looking like this so you're coming with me to get this rat's nest tamed i'm sure my
00:52:34cousin has an open seat i don't have time for this i'm on a mission and plus i'm nothing wrong
00:52:39with my hair and god says come as you are well honey sorry to break it to you but i
00:52:43can name at
00:52:44least 10 things while i'm with you all right hey hey get your ass in here
00:52:51girl and then he tells me to get all dressed up and look nice because he won't stick me out
00:52:55your
00:52:56legs again sorry and i asked him where he said where to cook food in front of you
00:53:03johnny this is my new friend terry joe you think you could hook her up she needs a new style
00:53:08for
00:53:08church ain't enough time or deep condition to treat that scout nikki can do it because she ain't got
00:53:15shit those better to do clearly now bitch went to benihana words he took my ass to
00:53:23fucking subway girl i know you're fucking lying the worst part is i told him i would go on a
00:53:28second date
00:53:28with him and i still let him put his foot long in my mouth bitch get out of my chill
00:53:33wait a minute
00:53:34don't i know you from somewhere i'm sorry who are you oh don't you play dumb with me you're that
00:53:40colored
00:53:40girl who gave me her business card after insulting me at that ghetto chicken chat yeah i don't remember
00:53:45that but that sounds like me i hand them holes out to everybody that comes in come sit down wait
00:53:51wait
00:53:52are you sure you can handle hair like this because i'm sure you're used to dealing with
00:53:57texture like yours what do you mean by that oh it's just you know nappy unkempt and coarse and what
00:54:07the hell is that thing on top of your head coming in here looking like james brown with a toupee
00:54:11on
00:54:11honey this is homegrown blonde stresses of silky smooth hair and a healthy bounce to it the only thing
00:54:19bouncing on you with that fupa when you walked up in here now do you want me to do something
00:54:23with
00:54:23this mess you know not really but seeing as how that scary black man over there is gonna go all
00:54:28shawshank on me if i don't i'm gonna let you do it whatever like i said follow me come sit
00:54:36down
00:54:36sure whatever you say moesha
00:54:39come on let's go boy oh i'm hungry i can't wait to get my vietnamese food
00:54:48james uh i hope you don't mind me asking but why did you choose that hairstyle because i like it
00:54:56like
00:54:56this when was the last time you did anything with your hair oh i actually don't do my hair my
00:55:02mama doesn't
00:55:05now is this raccoon or horse hair neither this is brazilian baby oh this guy was brazilian so we
00:55:16want to try any kinks and curls today embrace the natural side kinks and curls are you visually impaired
00:55:23this is wavy hair and plus even if i wanted to try something new with my hair my mama would
00:55:28kill me
00:55:29well tara you're a grown woman and your mama's not here so do you want to try anything new and
00:55:36exciting new and exciting no
00:55:46you're a piece of work you know that right anything worth having requires work
00:55:59why ain't she pulsing yet
00:56:03come on gee
00:56:06hey let me get that when you're done come on let me get that when you're done
00:56:10yeah that thanks
00:56:16what is it
00:56:19maybe she's here put in the gps put it in put it in come on all right all right
00:56:29hell it's all the way across town you said we ain't got no gas we don't even know she's there
00:56:34huh this is a
00:56:36wild goose chase whether it's a wild goose chase you got a better idea
00:56:50oh don't cry
00:56:54i just
00:56:56i ain't never felt this beautiful before
00:56:59girl you've always been beautiful sometimes you just gotta dig through the rocks to get to the diamonds
00:57:06and bitch you're shining you think so i know so thank you
00:57:15okay well i think this stuff calls for a selfie don't you think
00:57:19eat your heart out bartha dixon
00:57:22fuck you bartha
00:57:27are you okay you need a tissue or something
00:57:30no it's it's chinese
00:57:35anyone hungry i know she is
00:57:41me
00:58:05she posted
00:58:09A poodle is a poodle no matter what part of the world you pluck it from.
00:58:15What did you just say?
00:58:17What?
00:58:18You don't know what they be cooking in their kitchen?
00:58:21It ain't no secret.
00:58:24It was Fox News said it.
00:58:27Bitch, what?
00:58:29I'm 15% Vietnamese on my daddy's side.
00:58:32That's right, my blazing sister.
00:58:34You know your dad?
00:58:39You stupid fucking bitches?
00:58:41Chinese girls?
00:58:44Ew.
00:58:49Hey!
00:58:52Hey, why didn't you send me to that chicken place yesterday when I told you I was looking for a
00:58:56church?
00:58:57I ain't never met you, girl.
00:58:59I remember if I met...
00:59:01Shamu.
00:59:03Shamu?
00:59:04I told you I was looking for the Love and Friendship church.
00:59:07Love and Friendship?
00:59:09Ooh-wee!
00:59:10They really know how to feed a man.
00:59:12You see?
00:59:13That's the same bullshit you were spouting out yesterday.
00:59:16Bitch, you gonna give me some money or you gonna keep on talking.
00:59:19And why on God's green earth would I do that?
00:59:21Because you wanna find that church.
00:59:25You think I'm falling for that?
00:59:26If it's the church you see, it's the money that I reap.
00:59:31Ooh.
00:59:33Well, I don't have any cash.
00:59:37Pay or plan?
00:59:38Fine.
00:59:40But if you send me on a wild goose chase again, I'm gonna find you.
00:59:43And not only will you be homeless and legless, but I'm gonna make sure you're dickless too.
00:59:48You're welcome, Sheila.
00:59:52Bitch!
00:59:53There, it's done.
00:59:57That's what I'm talking about.
00:59:59Bitch, you put me back in the game.
01:00:01See there, Sheila?
01:00:02I always provide for you.
01:00:05Um, hello?
01:00:08Okay, okay.
01:00:09So you go down, three blocks to the left, then you turn to the right, and you turn to the
01:00:15left.
01:00:15And you back it up, and you turn...
01:00:17Where the fuck is it?
01:00:19Alright, alright.
01:00:20Go down, two blocks to the right, you turn to the left, you get on the bus, and you get
01:00:25off at Jefferson.
01:00:26The bus?
01:00:27You said there weren't any buses around here.
01:00:29That was over there.
01:00:31We over here, you dumbass.
01:00:33You know what?
01:00:33I don't have time for this.
01:00:35Get your life together, sir.
01:00:36And here's a helpful tip.
01:00:38You won't find God at the bottom of that bottle.
01:00:40Says who?
01:00:41You dumb bitch.
01:00:46I'm gonna take your penis on my leg, didn't it?
01:00:48My hair!
01:00:54I see Terry Jo, she's sitting right there.
01:00:56Who's got the gun?
01:00:57I don't see her.
01:00:59She's sitting in that chair right fucking there.
01:01:01Hmm.
01:01:02That ain't her, you inbred.
01:01:03That's the girl that gave us the card.
01:01:05Terry Jo is about 200 pounds heavier and four shades darker.
01:01:08You boys lost or something?
01:01:13Who you calling boy?
01:01:16Boy?
01:01:17We're looking for this woman.
01:01:18You seen her?
01:01:19Yeah.
01:01:20I've seen her.
01:01:21And there ain't no way in hell I'm gonna tell her Pecklewood where she is.
01:01:27Hey, ding-a-boo.
01:01:28You're gonna tell me exactly where she is or I'm gonna feed it out of you.
01:01:31I ain't scared of you, huh?
01:01:35That's all you got.
01:01:36Hey, do you think he fucking even needs that chair of dog or is he just lazy cause you're black?
01:01:42Only one way to find out.
01:01:43Hey!
01:01:44The picture is off of Sheila!
01:01:46Huh?
01:01:47What you want?
01:01:48Anything!
01:01:49Anything!
01:01:50What you need?
01:01:50Tell me where the bitch is or Sheila gets it.
01:01:53Yeah!
01:01:54I'm a penetrator!
01:01:56Alright, alright, alright, alright.
01:01:58She went to the Love and Friendship Church.
01:02:01Come on, man.
01:02:03Was that so hard?
01:02:06Give it back.
01:02:07Come on, boys.
01:02:08Let's get out of here.
01:02:10Fucking girl!
01:02:14Oh, damn!
01:02:16There's your reparations, Suboomifu!
01:02:23Bet that cotton picker lying to me!
01:02:26He's lying to me!
01:02:28I'm a gutter like catfish on Good Friday.
01:02:31Just like Meemaw, baby!
01:02:32Just like Meemaw!
01:02:33We ain't got time to turn around now, Beau.
01:02:35Besides, Bobby took that trash out.
01:02:37I watched it.
01:02:39Woo!
01:02:40Meemaw made a mean catfish, didn't she, brother?
01:02:42She did.
01:02:42I miss her.
01:02:43Rest your soul.
01:02:43Oh!
01:02:45Oh, shit!
01:02:46This Japanese food is running straight through me!
01:02:48Oh!
01:02:49Oh, Lord Jesus!
01:02:50We found a bathroom!
01:02:53Oh, Lord Jesus, please don't do something!
01:02:57Oh, shit!
01:02:57Well, that's her!
01:02:58Look, look at her!
01:02:59Oh, shit, boys!
01:03:00Oh, shit!
01:03:06Don't eat her ass, Bobby, man!
01:03:07You got this!
01:03:08Yeah.
01:03:09I'll bring her out dead or alive, boys.
01:03:11Yeah!
01:03:12I won't get her, Bobby!
01:03:13I won't get her, Bobby!
01:03:14I won't get her, Bobby!
01:03:14Let's go!
01:03:17Oh!
01:03:19Feels like I'm burning babies off my ass off!
01:03:22Oh!
01:03:25Oh!
01:03:26Terry Joe!
01:03:30Oh!
01:03:31Oh!
01:03:31Oh, Tear Bear!
01:03:33Oh, no, Marmalade!
01:03:35Oh, come play with me!
01:03:37Oh, shit!
01:03:38Terry!
01:03:40Get out!
01:03:41Get out!
01:03:41I know you want to!
01:03:42Oh, I know!
01:03:43Tearing.
01:03:59I'm back here.
01:04:03Hey there cousin.
01:04:08Missed me?
01:04:10Oh, what's the matter?
01:04:13You look like you've seen a ghost.
01:04:18Marmalade?
01:04:22In the flesh.
01:04:26You know I can't stay away from you for too long, chair bear.
01:04:30Oh, and it's Amethyst now.
01:04:33Oh, Marmalade, please.
01:04:36It's Amethyst.
01:04:40Amethyst, Marmalade, bats straight out of hell.
01:04:43I don't really give a fuck.
01:04:44In fact, I stopped giving a fuck about you that day you showed up on my doorstep all bloody and
01:04:50dirty.
01:04:51Turned into this...
01:04:53This thing.
01:05:04This thing?
01:05:05You say that like it was my choice.
01:05:07I didn't choose to be kidnapped.
01:05:10I didn't choose to be raped and turn into a vampire.
01:05:16Sweetheart, this is all your fault.
01:05:19Maybe if you weren't sneaking out of the dead of nine to do God knows what with God knows who,
01:05:24you wouldn't be in this predicament now.
01:05:26In what predicament is that?
01:05:31Hmm, I don't know, let me see.
01:05:33A soulless sack of animated flesh that feeds on the blood of the innocent?
01:05:37Who will more than likely spend all eternity in hell?
01:05:40Whenever that glorious day that somebody decides to shove a wooden stake through your cold, dead...
01:05:46I'm gonna make you shit your teeth.
01:05:49You fucking republicans.
01:05:54Bite me.
01:05:55Oh, I intend to.
01:06:10Oh shit.
01:06:25Bitch!
01:06:35I did it.
01:06:39I did it.
01:06:50Oh my God.
01:06:53Well, well.
01:06:54You sure been hard to find.
01:06:59Oh, I like a strong bitch too.
01:07:16Stop all that moving.
01:07:21Keep your hands off me, you filthy lesbian.
01:07:26Don't just say another motherfucking word, or I swear to God, I'll kill you.
01:07:31Okay, okay.
01:07:32Just don't hurt me.
01:07:34Please.
01:07:36Bo, Bo, you're here to save me.
01:07:38These two men are gonna have their way with me.
01:07:40I ain't a fucking man.
01:07:43To the fool of me.
01:07:44Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:07:45Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:07:46Please, please don't do this to me.
01:07:48Oh, it's too late for all that begging and pleading.
01:07:50You and some deep doggy shit, Terry Jo.
01:07:53I heard every word that you told the cops.
01:07:57How dumb do you think I am?
01:08:05Fuck it, doesn't matter.
01:08:07Because I am a man of good faith.
01:08:13Now, I was gonna kill you.
01:08:16Well, after seeing your cousin's house, I think, I think ransom just might be a whole lot better idea.
01:08:23But first, some fun.
01:08:25Uh, go tighten the ropes and I'm gonna get the belt.
01:08:30No, no, please, please.
01:08:32Hey, I'll call the sheriff and I'll make it right. I will.
01:08:35No, no, no, no, no.
01:08:36I think you're gonna call someone else.
01:08:38Where's your phone?
01:08:43Um...
01:08:44Huh?
01:08:47Where?
01:08:50Oh, hell no. Bobby, I can't get that.
01:08:52Uh...
01:08:53Come on.
01:08:53Me?
01:08:54Oh, I guess.
01:08:56Oh, no, anybody for her, please.
01:08:59No, that ain't my bag.
01:09:01Mm-mm.
01:09:04Let's do everything.
01:09:09It's right on in there.
01:09:11I ain't getting there.
01:09:12Nice to meet you, my brother.
01:09:13Oh, wow.
01:09:14Oh, I ain't gonna bite you.
01:09:16Oh, that ain't right.
01:09:17Oh, my God, it's right there.
01:09:18Big hands you got there.
01:09:20Oh.
01:09:22Now, who am I calling?
01:09:23What the hell kind of phone is this?
01:09:27What the hell kind of phone is this?
01:09:30Figures.
01:09:32Now, you're gonna call up that black lady who owns that mansion.
01:09:35You're gonna ask her for one trillion dollars.
01:09:38And don't try no funny shit or we'll cut your fingers off.
01:09:41It's okay.
01:09:43Dial, I'm on.
01:09:45Okay.
01:09:46It's calling.
01:09:47Hello?
01:09:48What the fuck?
01:09:49Why is it so dark?
01:09:50It's yours.
01:09:51I need help.
01:09:51They're trying to kill me.
01:09:53Oh!
01:09:56Oh, my God.
01:09:58You're on one of those seedy sex love downtown, aren't you?
01:10:02Thanks for the invite, bitch.
01:10:05No, no, no, you idiot.
01:10:06I need help.
01:10:08Oh!
01:10:09Oh, a little CNC play.
01:10:13Wow, Miami's really done a number on you.
01:10:15I couldn't be more proud.
01:10:21Oh, stupid bitch.
01:10:23Bop her the gun.
01:10:24Tired of this shit.
01:10:25This country-ass bitch seen her last days.
01:10:27Oh, wait.
01:10:29Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:10:30Okay, we got money saved up at home from daddy's life insurance.
01:10:43Put her on the speaker.
01:10:44Okay.
01:10:48Hello?
01:10:49This is Tamar.
01:10:50Mama, mama, they're trying to kill me.
01:10:52I'm here.
01:10:53Gotcha.
01:10:55You dumbass.
01:10:56I fell for that tooth, y'all.
01:10:58I'm not able to take it.
01:10:58I'm not able to take it.
01:11:00I'm over this shit.
01:11:02Somebody shoot her.
01:11:03Make it quick.
01:11:04No, wait.
01:11:05Wait, Bop, you said I'm not.
01:11:06You always get to have all the fun.
01:11:07It's mine.
01:11:08Bop, it's mine.
01:11:09You always get to have all the fun.
01:11:11You always get to have all the fun.
01:11:12I'm in the black army, twins.
01:11:21What the hell is that?
01:11:29I'm here! I'm here!
01:12:11Where are we?
01:12:14Exactly where you need to be.
01:12:23Well, what are we writing for? Let's get in there.
01:12:29And just like the Lord, I am the shepherd. Seek the lost, bind the broken, and lead the willing.
01:12:38Oh. Well, we'll ever see you again?
01:12:47I'm always on the main line.
01:12:49Okay. Well, thank you.
01:13:05Finally, my home away from home.
01:13:11Are you sure you don't want to come?
01:13:19Jesus Christ, oh.
01:13:23Jesus Christ?
01:13:26Jesus Christ.
01:13:28Jesus, help me.
01:13:31And the Lord said, I will pour you out a blessing that there shall not be room enough to receive
01:13:37it.
01:13:38Malachi, chapter 3, verse 10.
01:13:40Amen.
01:13:41Amen.
01:13:42Brothers and sisters, I am here to reassure you that you, in fact, deserve every blessing God bestows on you.
01:13:50Because you are God's child.
01:13:53Hallelujah.
01:13:55Hallelujah.
01:13:55Speaking of blessings, today is my tenth wedding anniversary.
01:14:00If you know anything about marriage, you know it is miracle just to get past that first year.
01:14:08But by the grace of God, we are still going strong and long.
01:14:18Now, many of you already know my better half.
01:14:21But for those of you who don't, I would like to share my blessing with you.
01:14:26Can I share my blessing with each of you today?
01:14:28Yes!
01:14:29Yes!
01:14:30Get on up here, Aubrey.
01:14:31I ate that just soon just pie.
01:14:40This is my lovely husband, Aubrey.
01:14:46What the fuck?
01:14:50Excuse me?
01:14:51The love of your life is a man?
01:14:53And a black one at that?
01:14:54What?
01:14:55Now, that's just wrong on so many levels, I can't even count.
01:14:58I mean, how can a man of God lay down with another man?
01:15:02That's disgusting.
01:15:04You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
01:15:06How dare you!
01:15:11Here at Love and Friendship, we believe in being inclusive and having respect for everyone.
01:15:18Well, are you including God in that respect for everyone?
01:15:21Because he, for sure as hellfire, would not be blessed in this union.
01:15:26I can't believe this church is run by a bunch of back-bottom, hudge-packing, twinkle-toed, skirt-wearing, tongue
01:15:32-popping, fairy saggots!
01:15:35What?
01:15:37You guys can't seriously be condoning this kind of behavior in the house of the Lord.
01:15:41I rebuke it in the name of Jesus!
01:15:44Why don't you reveal the fact that your body is 80% back fat?
01:15:51What are you even doing here?
01:15:53The same thing you're doing here.
01:15:54Didn't you tell me to find someone to pray the demon out of me?
01:15:57Or am I too much of a fairy faggot now?
01:16:00Well, I didn't mean in this church.
01:16:02This church may very well be run by homosexuals, but it ain't for colored people.
01:16:07Bitch, are you dead ass?
01:16:10Do you even own a merm?
01:16:12What's that supposed to mean?
01:16:14Oh.
01:16:15I hate an Uncle Runkus, Auntie Tom Oreo, reverse Rachel Dolezal, wannabe white asshole.
01:16:23Bitch, your elbows is as black as cold.
01:16:29You watch your mouth in the house of the Lord, girl.
01:16:32I think your little dookie brains are too tight because it's messing with your eyesight.
01:16:36You're no child of God.
01:16:37You're just a holier-than-thou fraud.
01:16:39I am a true Christian.
01:16:42Would a Christian woman push an innocent man in front of a bullet for her own personal well-being?
01:16:49Mike, I thought you were-
01:16:51You know, it wasn't Mike that is.
01:16:53Then how was it, Terry Jo?
01:16:54Threw me to the gate is like a pack of marshmallows.
01:16:58I loved you.
01:16:59I would have done anything for you.
01:17:03Oh.
01:17:08What is going on here?
01:17:12Y que pasa con mi pobre abuela?
01:17:14English.
01:17:15We're in America.
01:17:16We speak English.
01:17:18You almost killed my grandma, Torta Negrita.
01:17:20Killed is a stretch.
01:17:21She's almost dead anyways.
01:17:24Oh.
01:17:24My bad.
01:17:25Speaking of the dead.
01:17:30Marmalade.
01:17:31You did this.
01:17:33Oh no, Tera Bear.
01:17:34You did this.
01:17:36You did all of this.
01:17:38How could I have done this?
01:17:40All I wanted to do is go to a church and praise the good Lord.
01:17:43And instead, along the way, all you've done is take advantage of the kindness that these people have shown you.
01:17:49You used God and religion to shame and ridicule everyone for being exactly who God made them.
01:17:56Well, that ends today, Tera Bear.
01:17:59Because we're going to make immense meat out of you.
01:18:04No weapon stormed against me shall prosper.
01:18:08And every tongue that rocks against me in judgment, I shall condemn.
01:18:17I said, take your seat, Terry Jo.
01:18:20No.
01:18:31See?
01:18:32I told you she wasn't dead.
01:18:34Unfortunately.
01:18:35Thank God.
01:18:37You know, one more hour and I was going to have to have 911, I'll open my 411.
01:18:43I need his Annie.
01:18:46Oh, wait, wait, wait.
01:18:48Please don't answer that.
01:18:49They're trying to kill me.
01:18:50What the fuck are you talking about?
01:18:53Ew, you're never coming to one of my parties ever again.
01:18:57And speaking of parties, a bitch is out to get her glam on because...
01:19:02Ain't no party like a Georgia Yacht party because a Georgia Yacht party has drugs!
01:19:07Oh my God, this is so greasy.
01:19:09Damn, Heffa, you ain't here else ringing this fuck-ass doorbell.
01:19:12Oh, my bad.
01:19:18What are you doing here?
01:19:21And you, you did my hair.
01:19:24Bitch, please.
01:19:25Ain't no way in hell I did that.
01:19:27No, no, I'm not crazy, I promise.
01:19:30There was the homosexuals and drag queens and demons and vampires and...
01:19:38little Mexican kids playing in the street.
01:19:41My bitch, is she okay?
01:19:43Don't mind her, she's just a little turtle's theme.
01:19:47Let's get out of here.
01:19:49Didn't I tell you to pre-wash your hair?
01:19:51Oh.
01:19:52I can smell the ejaculate from here.
01:19:54I'm sorry.
01:19:56Wait, wait, wait.
01:19:57Don't leave me here by myself.
01:20:00Please don't leave me.
01:20:03I think I'm losing my marbles.
01:20:06Where's my holy oil?
01:20:09This is worse than Juneteenth.
01:20:18This is worse than Juneteenth.
01:20:21This is worse than Juneteenth.
01:20:38This is worse than you.
01:20:41I ain't going back, no.
01:20:43I'm going to follow my dreams.
01:20:46Even though it seems like it's a lonely road.
01:20:51Oh.
01:20:55Ooh.
01:20:59Because I'm on this long, long road.
01:21:02And I don't know where to go.
01:21:04Feels like I'm going to lose my mind.
01:21:07But I ain't going back, no.
01:21:09I'm going to follow my dreams.
01:21:12Even though it seems like it's a lonely road.
01:21:18Oh.
01:21:21Ooh.
01:21:24Ooh.
01:21:26Ooh.
01:21:27Ooh.
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