- 6 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:06Please save my time.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulius.
00:00:30Rod of a sepulius.
00:00:43Rejuvening.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:58What?
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:54See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo. Let's go!
00:02:06What!
00:02:13Hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Hey, hey!
00:02:27Come and meet us, sir!
00:02:28His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:02:32He's so hot.
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes.
00:02:36He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:02:38Money, fame, power.
00:02:40It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes.
00:02:49Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:56Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying!
00:02:58Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:03When are you getting married?
00:03:05I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment,
00:03:11so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable
00:03:18when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:23We're talking about my brother's life.
00:03:24I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:03:38Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:40Oh, kind stranger.
00:03:41Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish?
00:03:45That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity.
00:03:48It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What the...
00:03:52Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God
00:03:57because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:02Okay, uh...
00:04:03I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains
00:04:09and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:12Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:14Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:26My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother,
00:04:31he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on.
00:04:33Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him
00:04:52unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry.
00:04:54I don't know what this is.
00:04:56Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the angel herbalist
00:05:02and I have mastered
00:05:03all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has
00:05:08with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist
00:05:33doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging.
00:05:53There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients
00:05:56all over the world,
00:05:57but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth
00:06:02for the best doctors.
00:06:04They've tried all these methods
00:06:05and they've all failed.
00:06:07If we can't save him,
00:06:10there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second.
00:06:21You're not talking about
00:06:22the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct.
00:06:25Her right rewrites the rond
00:06:27and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:06:34We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive.
00:06:40No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer
00:06:43is the only one
00:06:43that can truly save my son,
00:06:46I don't care if I go bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her.
00:06:49James, come.
00:06:51Put out a bounty
00:06:52to the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer
00:06:57will get the five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:14I'll save your son.
00:07:17Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:22Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo
00:07:26cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting
00:07:29crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way
00:07:33into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew!
00:07:35She even brought
00:07:36a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:40That flea-infested,
00:07:41dirty thing
00:07:42is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal
00:07:45Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:51Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book
00:07:55by its cover,
00:07:56but I can see from all your faces
00:07:58that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:03Could you hold this?
00:08:04Oh, ho, ho, ho.
00:08:05You're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon
00:08:09in this country
00:08:10and a former general.
00:08:12I know a gold-digging whore
00:08:13when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here
00:08:16because giving blowjobs
00:08:17on the street corners
00:08:18wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled
00:08:22whore girl like her
00:08:23would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar
00:08:26trying to take advantage
00:08:27of Lysander Armstrong
00:08:28when he's unconscious?
00:08:31Ew!
00:08:32Disgusting.
00:08:32Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:36Get this STD-infested
00:08:38peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out,
00:08:41you're tossing away
00:08:42your son's last chance
00:08:43at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end
00:08:49trying to find a cure
00:08:50for Master Lysander
00:08:51and to no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later
00:08:56if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right.
00:08:59I'll give you a shot.
00:09:01But I warn you,
00:09:02if you fail,
00:09:03I'll have your
00:09:04and your dog's head
00:09:05mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way
00:09:08to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed
00:09:11to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here
00:09:13to repay your younger
00:09:14son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not
00:09:16welcome here,
00:09:18I'll leave.
00:09:20Devin,
00:09:20come find me
00:09:21when you have a different wish.
00:09:23No.
00:09:23Miss Trixie,
00:09:24my brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:28Well,
00:09:29if he's a hero to you,
00:09:32then that means
00:09:33he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother's a war hero
00:09:36who single-handedly
00:09:37saved this country
00:09:37from a terrorist attack.
00:09:39Also,
00:09:39he's great with puppies.
00:09:40He'd make a great husband.
00:09:44Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:46As if
00:09:47the number one hottest
00:09:4830 under 30
00:09:49would even dream
00:09:50of marrying
00:09:51a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic
00:09:53would be crazy enough
00:09:54to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her.
00:09:56Even if she cleaned herself up,
00:09:58you couldn't find
00:09:59an ounce of femininity
00:10:00on her.
00:10:02Only those cuts
00:10:03from the lowest ranks
00:10:03are bigger
00:10:04over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:08But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:20Okay!
00:10:23What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:36What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39I knew she was a perv!
00:10:41She's definitely trying
00:10:42to steal Lysander from us.
00:10:44Do you all not know
00:10:45that Sweat can tell you
00:10:46everything that's medically
00:10:46wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane?
00:10:49Security,
00:10:49smash her face in
00:10:50for licking my son!
00:10:53He's born with
00:10:54congenital heart disease,
00:10:55has a peanut allergy,
00:10:56and the condition he has
00:10:57is called
00:10:59endogenic cryomorphie.
00:11:00Yeah, right!
00:11:01I mean,
00:11:01no way you got all that
00:11:02just from licking him!
00:11:04Oh, okay.
00:11:05I've studied
00:11:06every disease known to man,
00:11:07right?
00:11:07I even have
00:11:08the badge of universal medicine
00:11:10right here.
00:11:11And I've never heard
00:11:12of
00:11:13endo-cryo-
00:11:15what-what?
00:11:25Is worth nothing
00:11:26when I have
00:11:26the real thing
00:11:27right here.
00:11:28What?
00:11:29What?
00:11:30So you think
00:11:31that this crummy
00:11:32walking stick of yours
00:11:33is what,
00:11:34the rod of a sepulis?
00:11:36Why don't you go back
00:11:37to the homeless asylum
00:11:38where you came from
00:11:39if you're going to be
00:11:40this delusional?
00:11:41I agree.
00:11:42I mean,
00:11:42even if she does
00:11:43solve this medical mystery,
00:11:45what is the point
00:11:46as of doctors
00:11:47who have studied
00:11:48for years?
00:11:49We are all certified.
00:11:51But Lysander
00:11:51does have
00:11:52congenital heart disease.
00:11:54She's right
00:11:55about everything.
00:11:58Yeah,
00:11:59but if she just
00:12:00throws out
00:12:00a bunch of fake diagnoses,
00:12:02one of them
00:12:02is bound to be right.
00:12:03And again,
00:12:04there is no such thing
00:12:05as endo-cryo-
00:12:06what-what?
00:12:07Endogenic cryomorphie.
00:12:08Oh.
00:12:09And of course,
00:12:09none of you
00:12:10have heard of it
00:12:10because I just
00:12:11discovered it.
00:12:13This condition
00:12:14only affects those
00:12:15with both CHD
00:12:16and a peanut allergy.
00:12:17The chances are
00:12:18a billion to one.
00:12:19A hundred times
00:12:20rarer than winning
00:12:21the lottery.
00:12:22But lucky for you all,
00:12:23you've hit the jackpot
00:12:24by finding me.
00:12:27What a bunch of baloney.
00:12:28I mean,
00:12:29you wouldn't be homeless
00:12:30if you were
00:12:31actually any good.
00:12:33Precisely.
00:12:34You are just
00:12:35a scamming prostitute.
00:12:36You don't compare
00:12:37to me,
00:12:38us,
00:12:39who actually studied
00:12:40real medicine.
00:12:42I bet you were
00:12:43too poor
00:12:44to go to
00:12:44real medical school.
00:12:45Oh,
00:12:46so she went
00:12:46to the super circus
00:12:48instead.
00:12:49And now she's here
00:12:50putting on this
00:12:50clown show
00:12:51coming up with
00:12:52fake diseases,
00:12:53which mean nothing
00:12:54if you can't
00:12:56wake him up.
00:12:57Is that supposed
00:12:57to be a challenge?
00:12:59Oh, yeah.
00:13:01If you three
00:13:02incompetent doormats
00:13:03want to show me up,
00:13:05I think you all
00:13:05should grow parts
00:13:06of your brain back.
00:13:07which,
00:13:08by the way,
00:13:09that condition
00:13:09is called
00:13:10an encephaly.
00:13:11What is that
00:13:12supposed to mean?
00:13:13It means you're
00:13:14being schooled by me
00:13:15and I'm about to
00:13:16walk all over
00:13:16your medical licensees.
00:13:19Then let's have a bet.
00:13:21If you can't
00:13:22heal him,
00:13:24we'll break
00:13:24your hands.
00:13:26And then
00:13:27you can't pretend
00:13:29to have healing
00:13:30hands anymore.
00:13:33These hands
00:13:33have saved more
00:13:34lives than all
00:13:35three of you
00:13:36combined.
00:13:37You're that
00:13:37desperate to get
00:13:38rid of your
00:13:39competition,
00:13:39huh?
00:13:40Miss Trixie,
00:13:41don't risk
00:13:42your hands
00:13:42for them.
00:13:43There's too
00:13:44many lives
00:13:45at stake.
00:13:47Don't worry.
00:13:48I got this.
00:13:52It's a deal.
00:13:54I'll save
00:13:54Lysander Armstrong.
00:13:56No one is
00:13:57dying on my watch.
00:14:04Lysander Armstrong
00:14:05has been in a
00:14:05vegetative state
00:14:06for two years.
00:14:11Are you stopping me
00:14:13because you're scared
00:14:13I'd actually succeed?
00:14:15Homeless or not,
00:14:16if you save my son,
00:14:17I'll give you everything.
00:14:27I'll even have Lysander,
00:14:29my heir,
00:14:30marry you.
00:14:30I'm not doing this
00:14:31for the money
00:14:32or for a wealthy
00:14:32husband.
00:14:33I just believe
00:14:34in helping good people
00:14:35and doing the right
00:14:36thing.
00:14:38Prepare a jacuzzi set
00:14:39at exactly 113 degrees
00:14:41Fahrenheit.
00:14:41Wait, wait, wait,
00:14:42what for?
00:14:43Don't listen to her.
00:14:45She probably stinks
00:14:46so bad that she just
00:14:47wants a bath to wash
00:14:48the homeless stench
00:14:49off of her.
00:14:50Firstly,
00:14:51this is called
00:14:52greatness.
00:14:54Secondly,
00:14:55even if you drown
00:14:56yourself in plastic
00:14:56surgery,
00:14:57you couldn't get rid
00:14:58of your own
00:14:58ugly moral character.
00:15:01What?
00:15:02Did you just call me?
00:15:05There's a man's
00:15:06life at stake here
00:15:08and you're standing
00:15:09in my way.
00:15:10Don't don the mantle
00:15:11of doctor when you're
00:15:12only capable of harm.
00:15:13now stop getting
00:15:15in my way
00:15:16or I promise you,
00:15:18you will be bubbling
00:15:18at the mouth very soon.
00:15:20Oh, yeah?
00:15:21Hey, you want to see
00:15:21real pain?
00:15:22Where's the dog?
00:15:23Well, put down the dog!
00:15:25With pleasure.
00:15:36Oh!
00:15:42Left leaves
00:15:43the wrong breast.
00:15:48You don't deserve
00:15:49to call yourself
00:15:50a doctor.
00:15:53She's been poisoned!
00:15:56It was her!
00:15:57Do you see
00:15:58any poison on me?
00:16:00Medicine in the right
00:16:01hands can save lives,
00:16:02but in the wrong hands,
00:16:04it becomes nothing
00:16:05but poison.
00:16:06This bitch
00:16:07isn't good enough
00:16:07to take down
00:16:08the queen of medicine!
00:16:09Do you have one
00:16:10of your antidotes on you?
00:16:11Of course.
00:16:13I've saved
00:16:13entire civilizations
00:16:15with my antidotes.
00:16:16If I want to save someone,
00:16:18even the Grim Reaper
00:16:19can't stop me.
00:16:36Why is she skinning blood?
00:16:37This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:16:39I thought you said
00:16:40even the Grim Reaper
00:16:41can't get in your way,
00:16:42angel herbalist.
00:16:43This is what I call
00:16:46malpractice.
00:16:48This isn't fatal.
00:16:49She'll live.
00:16:50But she deserves
00:16:51a little punishment.
00:16:52Well,
00:16:52where's the jacuzzi
00:16:53I asked for?
00:16:54Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:55Right this way.
00:16:57Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:16:58What the hell is going on?
00:16:59You say you want your son
00:17:00to live on
00:17:01to give you tons
00:17:02of grandchildren,
00:17:03don't you?
00:17:04Then stop getting in my way.
00:17:05Every second counts.
00:17:08Let's go for a dip,
00:17:09shall we?
00:17:14General Armstrong,
00:17:15your family is the richest
00:17:17and most powerful
00:17:18in the nation.
00:17:19Are you really gonna let
00:17:20this hobo slut
00:17:22touch your son?
00:17:23Hold on.
00:17:24You two are going
00:17:25in there alone?
00:17:26If you don't want
00:17:28these drooling vultures
00:17:29to see your son naked,
00:17:30then sure,
00:17:32invite everyone in.
00:17:33All right.
00:17:34But I warn you,
00:17:36no funny business.
00:17:58Go for it.
00:17:59I'm credibly eating.
00:18:01It's a darkucene.
00:18:04Go for it.
00:18:16Let me see.
00:18:19I'm Joker.
00:18:20I'm Joker.
00:18:22What?
00:18:25Did I ask her?
00:18:39you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:43armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:50that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:55stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to that
00:19:02we have to have faith where did you actually find this little light uh on the streets
00:19:11are you shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know her you don't
00:19:17know her background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to go in and stop
00:19:22this
00:19:22now you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now james let's go yes sir
00:19:31oh my
00:19:38i told you all to stay out
00:19:45this is a critical moment for you we can't be interrupted otherwise we both die
00:19:55i'm not gonna let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son
00:20:00i'm gonna save him i'm gonna save him myself
00:20:06you see that general this isn't just a gull-dicking con woman this is a witchcraft
00:20:13i know what this is this is the dark witch i've heard of her she uses her dark magic to
00:20:21steal the
00:20:21hearts of young handsome men and then she eats them alive oh i'm gonna kill that bitch before
00:20:26she takes my son james get the swat team yes sir
00:20:44help me i'm just
00:20:52something's wrong
00:20:56you were drunk with an aphrodisiac lysander armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine
00:21:04that's one more thing i'm saving you from
00:21:14sir the swat team is here captain morales
00:21:17i'm gonna have a surprise
00:21:19my son is trapped behind there with a devious man-eating witch i need you to do whatever you
00:21:25can to tear down that door rest assured general armstrong we'll break down that door and bury that
00:21:31bitch alive
00:21:37right he writes the wrong
00:21:46who the fuck are you and why the hell are we naked
00:21:51good you're awake i'm saving you saving me by bathing with me who are you a fucking spy
00:22:01so i swear to god i'm gonna have you arrested for this
00:22:05you're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stripper
00:22:10i will never oh really
00:22:25look who's guilty now
00:22:29look i don't know what the fuck this is all right but it is a biological fact
00:22:33a man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts science okay it just means that my body
00:22:41oh shut up
00:22:45you're distracting me with your funny and i'm a professional
00:22:49i hear lysander's voice captain do something now ready
00:22:53i hear lysander's voice captain do something now ready
00:22:59we're almost there aim
00:23:03get him boys get him
00:23:06fire
00:23:10fire
00:23:10fire
00:23:11fire
00:23:25those the missiles
00:23:27how is this possible
00:23:29it's it's not even a scratch
00:23:30i told you this is dark magic
00:23:33of course your earthly bullets won't do a thing
00:23:35no i believe miss trixie is a good person she's not the dark witch
00:23:40young master armstrong you are too easily fooled this homeless psycho
00:23:46doesn't even have the skills to make a living how is she going to save someone else's life
00:23:50that's right the queen angel and i are already the top female doctors in the world
00:23:55if we can't save him no one can except for the goddess healer think about it we heard
00:24:01lysander's voice he's been in a coma for two years miss trixie must have woken him up you're right
00:24:06this homeless girl is maybe the goddess
00:24:12maybe this homeless girl is really the god
00:24:15no no absolutely not there is no way this hobo girl is better than us
00:24:21how could you know for sure right now what we need to do is not interrupt miss trixie
00:24:26you're wrong sir this homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on master lysander
00:24:32it's called borderline revival she uses torturous pain to wake the patient
00:24:38but only temporarily it's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears
00:24:43that means my son is in tremendous pain i'm gonna ask you two to do whatever you can
00:24:49to kill that antler rod bearing witch my son doesn't deserve this he is dying right now naked
00:24:56in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant then it looks like it's up to me the witch doctor only i
00:25:03know the
00:25:03right techniques to take her down my son's life is in your hands you heal him i will give you
00:25:11whatever
00:25:11your heart desires i don't know who you are but there is no way i am letting you rip my
00:25:18golden
00:25:18bachelor away from me this isn't the finishing touch i must now give you the kiss of life so we
00:25:28can both
00:25:29survive
00:25:47it's poison gas that poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over master lysander poison
00:25:55gas my son is in there you're jeopardizing his life as well no don't worry general gold diggers like
00:26:02her only care about themselves soon she'll come out crying to mommy then we can reverse the poison on your
00:26:09son and then he can marry one of us they really won't stop until they get both of us killed
00:26:18i made a promise to you that i'd save you it's now or never
00:26:35what the hell are they doing in there it's been over 10 minutes wait a second you don't think that
00:26:41they're you you suffocated my brother and miss trixie in there don't point your fingers at me if your
00:26:48brother's dead it's because of that homeless gold digger oh my god yeah she's the one who sealed the
00:26:53door shut i mean she probably locked themselves in there on accident miss trixie wouldn't have to do
00:26:59that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother this is taking way too long
00:27:05captain morales it's time to get out the big guns these bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter
00:27:12bazooka she won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself crap oh my god get back son
00:27:21ready hey oh shit
00:27:27quit your whining and stand down
00:27:42the parasite's been extracted shoot her dead now do i need to fix your hearing too i said stand down
00:27:50don't listen to her she's a fraud a termite to the field of medicine i just saved this man that
00:27:56otherwise would have died in your care if i'm a termite then you're worse than a disease spreading
00:28:02tick wait a second are you saying you cured my son he'll wake in just a moment you can see
00:28:08for
00:28:08yourself well now you're just asking to be exposed that is it no more stalling general if you won't
00:28:16punish her i will don't hurt her
00:28:27he's secure
00:28:33his pulse is regular in fact it's never been better
00:28:40there's no sign of illness infection or disease
00:28:51miss trixie did it dad my center's warm again he's not cold and pale like before and his heart is
00:28:57strong come feel it i saved my son thank you next time don't go seeking medical advice from those with
00:29:06ill will your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands
00:29:12i've learned my lesson i will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic
00:29:17again wait wait no no there is only one person in the world who is more skilled in the field
00:29:24of
00:29:24medicine than the queen angel and inis the goddess healer
00:29:33could you really be the goddess of healing but rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well
00:29:39over 100 years old and you don't look a day after 20. it doesn't matter who i am what matters
00:29:46is that
00:29:46the patient is healthy again devon i've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your
00:29:51brother take care no wait miss trixie we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet he's right
00:29:59we are men of our words and as i promised you my heir lysander would take you as a wife
00:30:03if you
00:30:04cured him and you did just that of course you're welcome to marry me instead
00:30:08i really appreciate it but i'm sorry i i'm already engaged
00:30:19already engaged i am i've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years
00:30:25and he's coming back today but don't be disappointed really i'm no one special i just
00:30:32got lucky with your brother some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments but you're
00:30:37still lysander's savior please let me give you what i promised take the gold no really i don't need
00:30:45anything i just believe in doing good in the world
00:30:51trixie it's your fiance he's back and he says he's breaking up with you
00:30:58i must go
00:31:06hobo close halo glow i bet the goddess healer is just like miss trixie it was just dumb luck
00:31:14she's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal she could have been the richest woman in
00:31:18the world marrying the hottest most powerful bachelor around i'm gonna marry that homeless woman
00:31:31oh my god i mean i don't know about that homeless bimbo but this is godly
00:31:50you two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their
00:31:56licenses we were truly blessed to have miss trixie here huh
00:32:09she's no average jane no she isn't she said it was just dumb luck but if she truly had these
00:32:14special
00:32:15skills why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable looking dog but think about
00:32:20the impenetrable walls no normal person could have done that goddess or not homeless or not i don't
00:32:26care i have never met a woman like that i have to find her i have to make her my
00:32:30life she won my heart
00:32:32over too but if my bestest big bro wants her i'll help you find her all right listen i need
00:32:38help finding
00:32:39three wedding gifts
00:32:45i'm dumping trixie so i want you your granddaughters filthy things out of my house
00:32:53now trixie paid for this house she waited for you for three years he was dumb enough to put my
00:32:59name
00:33:00on the lease and i'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now one with some serious
00:33:03fuck you money so get lost who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house
00:33:17grandma beatrice trixie i'm already i've been dying to throw this in your face i'm dumping you
00:33:24for your best friend marissa in fact the wedding's tomorrow so sign over the house now
00:33:37you gave me this ring and asked me to wait and i did for three years while you were deployed
00:33:44yet you cheat on me with my best friend and now you're trying to swindle my home
00:33:50do you have no shame we were together for three years and uh it was a complete waste of my
00:33:55life
00:33:55when i could have been with a loaded girl like marissa
00:34:03that's how much you would owe me if i was in the rent-a-boyfriend business
00:34:09i see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute
00:34:17oh yeah well marissa is so much better than you she grew up even poorer than you and now
00:34:27she's the ceo of an entire corporation
00:34:33and you you're still nothing so you think she's an upgrade of course she's an upgrade
00:34:41look what she uh got me for my engagement oops yeah that's maybe worth one millionth the
00:34:50presidential contract i gave her
00:34:57you gave her the presidential contract i certainly did in fact
00:35:02marissa you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me
00:35:13oh i think she's losing it bro that breakup must have hit her hard
00:35:17you two are the ungrateful cheating scum here my granddaughter supported you and your entire
00:35:25family for three years while you were gone how dare you insult her it's okay grandma let's not stoop
00:35:33to that level poor edna she still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets huh
00:35:39what is he talking about you're saying show her bob
00:35:47this is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is she didn't purchase this house on her own she
00:35:53was begging on the street for money i can't be caught with a piss poor nobody like you even if
00:36:00you got
00:36:00no game i got street cred i gotta keep you dig the word you're looking for is dignity and you're
00:36:07one to
00:36:07speak cheater is this true tricksy
00:36:15i've been broadening my horizons grandma i want to see how regular everyday people live so that i can
00:36:21help them of course those without substance underneath would never understand that what is that supposed
00:36:28to mean it means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade
00:36:37enough bullshitting already just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives
00:36:54at your wedding i will
00:36:58if you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend
00:37:02why should i do good by you i'll give you my john hancock at your wedding as a charity to
00:37:10you
00:37:10fucking bitch you better keep your word oh that's rich after tomorrow you will never
00:37:16feel so rich ever again do you remember that
00:37:21you're gonna be a good boy
00:37:26tricksy marissa's a millionaire now they'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their
00:37:33wedding grandma i have to confess something to you i've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions
00:37:39trillions
00:37:43that would make you the richest person on the planet it's because of the healing hands i inherited from
00:37:50aseplius the god of healing i've saved several world leaders with these hands that's how i was able
00:37:57to give marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer it makes me angrier hearing her name
00:38:04knowing how she betrayed you but please tricksy dear i know it was broken your heart but embellishing
00:38:12your worth and who you are it will only delay the healing process you don't have to believe me just
00:38:19yet after we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills
00:38:24i vowed that i would do everything i can to serve those in need
00:38:29that's why i'm taking everything back from butch and i'm giving it back to charity
00:38:32you've always had an angel's heart i'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right
00:38:39who actually deserves you you will see tomorrow grandma
00:38:45oh yeah
00:38:51you said chixie's crashing at my wedding she was bullying us too salsa
00:38:56she's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as
00:38:59fuck when hope when nobody steps on snake snake bites back hard so let her come and embarrass herself
00:39:07you mean
00:39:10we broadcast that video of you
00:39:16yes her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can
00:39:20she'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:39:24against my presidential glow up let's turn this party into her funeral
00:39:35there he is welcome home brother welcome home general
00:39:44sir the homeless woman who saved you miss trixie this is the file of her ex butch tanner
00:39:49she served with her regiment in the marines you mean the butch tanner that could barely carry supplies
00:39:54well she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas sir so she
00:39:59waited for him for years and then he betrayed her
00:40:01fucking coward according to intel she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding
00:40:05then we should join her
00:40:08men i'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life
00:40:13so she needs our support will you join me in protecting her yes sir we will learn a lot to
00:40:18protect her sir let's roll
00:40:37welcome everyone to my wedding today is a very special day for me and butch not only are we getting
00:40:42married but in just one hour my company will be receiving the presidential contract allowing my
00:40:47biomedical company to go public
00:40:53congratulations on the contract once again mrs like him still but just taking my last name oh and
00:40:59please don't be so uptight secretary cho you are the secretary of the entire u.s health department but
00:41:05this is a party after all i see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived
00:41:11to
00:41:11celebrate you the u.s president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself it's an honor
00:41:21that's why sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of we will make sure the crowd is
00:41:27entertained
00:41:28tonight we'll let the wedding begin
00:41:32not so fast the party doesn't start until i say it does
00:41:58you two really are a match made in hell so i've come to save your guests from this oncoming train
00:42:04wreck
00:42:04i don't recognize it from any of our elite circles who is she
00:42:07uh this is our uh entertainment for tonight sir just watch
00:42:15trixie what are you doing here this isn't the homeless shelter you lost
00:42:18i bet she's here to bum a meal off us you know being this poor
00:42:24me bum a meal have you forgotten that it was i who bankrolled you two for the last three years
00:42:30what evidence do you have of that look at me then go look at yourself in the mirror i'm a
00:42:35millionaire
00:42:36ceo even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me and you're nothing
00:42:41but a washed up sewer rat this is sasa she's like so obsessed with me she loves me see everyone
00:42:49but
00:42:50already cut ties with his ex but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding
00:42:56to suck up to me this is what poor sad girls do they beg for scraps from us the rich
00:43:04and glorious
00:43:04projecting much marissa you might feel all high and mighty now but don't bite the hand that feeds you
00:43:11especially when i'm the one who's giving you the contract
00:43:18you giving me the contract you have no skills no education no connection so how could you possibly
00:43:26have a pool to get the us president to give me a billion dollar contract we both share humble beginnings
00:43:33marissa and i saw potential in you even trusted you as my best friend but i recognize now that greed
00:43:40has
00:43:41poisoned you don't be all sore now just because i stole your man this is what us rich girls do
00:43:47they steal from lane spinsters for fun damn right you were too embarrassing for me sasa
00:43:55tramples you any day i could say that now that i'm marrying the rich bravo self-admission of a gold
00:44:02digger quick somebody put that on a memoir so she's embarrassing me in front of everyone
00:44:06you should make yourself don't listen to her everyone she's the golden blood-sucking leech i don't
00:44:13even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me
00:44:16butch you may look and sound like a man but you're nothing but a pathetic coward okay enough you know
00:44:25what
00:44:25i always couldn't stand about you your moral posturing but guess what morals are just lies to make
00:44:32you and girls feel better about yourselves that's why no man will choose you over marissa trixie because
00:44:37i've got the material goods and you're just all empty talk i'm not here to request to be chosen
00:44:43because i'm the one who's doing the choosing see this
00:44:59oh my god is that the billion dollar contract for sasa
00:45:06the one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck no absolutely not i i don't believe it
00:45:12you all sound so scared already don't worry this isn't that contract it's the lease to the modest
00:45:19home you try to swindle from me see everyone she's just trying to bluff us but you don't even have
00:45:27the
00:45:27guts to go all the way look at her following orders i asked her to sign over the lease and
00:45:31here she is
00:45:32like a good little uh peasant slave that house is where all her life savings
00:45:40you want to uh i don't know beg for a little treat while you're at it
00:45:54you misunderstand me i'm here to take back everything i've ever given you i'm giving it to charity
00:46:02to the end of the law bro she's gone cuckoo in the head she thinks that just because she rented
00:46:11a
00:46:12pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket invest in baddie you wish you had that kind
00:46:16of money to just toss away trixie it's just a drop in the bucket for me uh i i know
00:46:21what this is you've
00:46:23gotten delusional and you think you're cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some
00:46:28prince charming will scoop you into money forever well that's not happening security
00:46:32lock the doors this woman doesn't leave until we're through with her
00:46:39this is where your dreams will die
00:46:45we found miss trixie lysander she's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the wickham wedding
00:46:49right now butch tanner well he's gonna wish he died in battle after i'm done with him let's go
00:46:59you think a few toy guns scare me marissa i've saved plenty of people for much worse
00:47:05including your head of command butch general lysander armstrong you mean the legendary war hero
00:47:12he's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack you're an unskilled
00:47:18unemployed ugly leech so how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like
00:47:24general lysander armstrong no one here is going to believe you if you really cured the incurable
00:47:29general then sasa is the fucking virgin mary and she's not you're just asking to be humiliated
00:47:36trixie show them butch
00:47:43see for yourselves everyone trixie's just a
00:47:47reloading beggar
00:47:51she won't leave me and marissa alone because we're rich as now i'm a major in the marines
00:47:57sasa she has a billion dollar biomedical contract with the military approved by the first female
00:48:05president of the united states herself bitch how despicable she's just trying to leech off you like
00:48:11a parasitic gold digger get out of here no one wants to marry you no free meals for the poor
00:48:17do you see
00:48:18this trixie this is high society so you're either born on a silver spoon or you're as accomplished as
00:48:25me to be here maybe if you do some serious dick sucking here maybe someone will drop a couple bucks
00:48:31in your tin can i already have everything one can dream of but i valued our friendship marissa which
00:48:40is why i came here to give you a second chance to see if you'd apologize and admit to your
00:48:44backstabbing
00:48:45but no you stooped so low it disgusts me nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners
00:48:53like a bum and who knows if you've already started offering sexual services well then
00:49:01why don't you get on your knees for me trixie my brother will never take you back
00:49:06no man will marry an embarrassment like you but make me happy
00:49:11and i might consider making you my personal prostitute
00:49:25how dare you hit my brother i'm never letting you leave here alive
00:49:32don't worry my dear after i'm done with you trixie not even the goddess of healing will
00:49:37be able to save you oh is that so security get down on your knees and give bob one hell
00:49:47of a blowjob
00:49:48in front of everybody here or i'll pop so many holes in you the men here won't know which one
00:49:53to
00:49:54fuck i don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you any of the powerful leaders i've saved
00:49:59before could crush you before you even touch me dream on you wish general lysander scooped you off
00:50:06your feet but you weren't good enough for me you're definitely not good enough for him enough you're
00:50:12souring my party so you either get the out or i'm gonna shoot you on the count of three i
00:50:20think i quite
00:50:32like it here this wine is so delicious one shoot nobody is laying a hand on my future wife
00:51:01who the hell is this
00:51:06i'm sorry that i'm late did they hurt you
00:51:09no i'm fine but um when did i become your future wife
00:51:16you saved me trixie remember i'm a man of my word they're never gonna hurt you ever again
00:51:22really it was nothing i saved you because you're a good man not because i want you to owe me
00:51:28any favors
00:51:35i see what this is you're the one who cheated on me trixie look at you guys all lovey-dove
00:51:40don't
00:51:41try to pin this on her she waited for you for three years this is the kind of woman of
00:51:45virtue that a man
00:51:46would die for you don't make me laugh she's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash no man who in
00:51:56a
00:51:56hundred foot pole would want to touch her she should be happy bob was willing to give her some
00:52:05i see her in the marines
00:52:08i'm a major you know look man i know trixie is like uh i don't know like a seven now
00:52:15that she's all
00:52:15cleaned up but don't waste your man on a whiny worthless woman like that
00:52:25a real man never talks about a woman that way you're a coward
00:52:40we don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them
00:52:45very gracious trixie you know that
00:52:49you're only getting off of it because she's so kind so you're gonna do me the favor of never coming
00:52:53near her again you understand you want to with me a little dipshit i'm a major
00:52:58you're probably lowest rank of the military grunts i'll i'll destroy you do you really not know who
00:53:04this is butch i thought you were in the marines what have you been doing this whole time if you
00:53:09don't know who this war hero is he was just a supply boy
00:53:15war hero is this all part of your plan trixie poor girl did you sell your house to hire this
00:53:23actor
00:53:23so you can feel better about yourself a woman's worth is tied to the man she marries trixie is
00:53:28worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy
00:53:34a bum girl and a pimp what a pair seems like they don't know who you are since you've been
00:53:40out of
00:53:40action for so long maybe we should try to pay some off some more don't you think bring in the
00:53:47wedding gifts
00:53:55what is all this trixie listen i know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life
00:54:01but i know that we shared a moment
00:54:06i'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear it's not in my
00:54:11nature
00:54:12i'm like somebody else here listen trixie i have never met a woman
00:54:20like you so incredible and kind and beautiful so i know that you're the one for me
00:54:29this guy's either nuts or a really really good actor
00:54:34oscar worthy oscar worthy no first gift
00:54:43trixie i know that you just lost your home so i'm gifting you with your own new mansion worth 500
00:54:51million dollars previously owned by jennifer aniston second gift
00:54:59this contains all the rights to my entire fortune which is now yours entire fortune from a cowboy
00:55:06actor that means they already spent their entire life savings on this clown show they've got nothing
00:55:11left why sander i really don't care for any of you look i i know i know that you are
00:55:18the farthest thing
00:55:19from a material woman okay which is exactly why well my third gift is um well
00:55:35oh
00:55:41cleo hey oh my god you found my dog
00:55:52Trixie, I'm just a man
00:55:53But with you, it's so much more
00:55:56Trixie Amore
00:56:00Will you marry me?
00:56:04You know I can't say no to this doggo
00:56:09Yes, I will marry you
00:56:27Go go power couple
00:56:30Okay, stop
00:56:32The only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:37Let's remind everyone how worth his Trixie is
00:56:41No man in their right mind
00:56:43Would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:46Hey
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:48But I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:50Which means that she will be treated as
00:56:53And cherished as
00:56:54The most precious woman on earth
00:56:56Understand?
00:57:01You still don't realize
00:57:02That my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:05This is General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15As if
00:57:17Like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:19Would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:22Yes, the Armstrong family basically control the global stock market
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England
00:57:29Than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just actors
00:57:35Then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:37Come on, Lysander
00:57:38What are we waiting for?
00:57:39Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:40What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us?
00:57:43The elites
00:57:44Infect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:57:47She wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:50Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum
00:57:54She's utterly unmarriable
00:57:59I can dispose of them
00:58:00In other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:03I'd handle them myself, but
00:58:07I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:09Go ahead, Lysander
00:58:17Yes, hello, this is Lysander
00:58:18Please bankrupt Marissa Wiccan for me
00:58:22Oh my gosh, I'm so scared
00:58:24Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:35Uh, hello?
00:58:37Yes
00:58:39What?
00:58:44I'm going bankrupt!
00:58:55Hey, are you sure that was the call, Sasha?
00:58:58That was a real call?
00:58:59People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:59:01My company's dead!
00:59:02It's evaporated!
00:59:04It's in thin air!
00:59:08That's impossible!
00:59:10Who are you?
00:59:11What did you do?
00:59:13Secretary Cho
00:59:14You said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:16And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:20Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:23Then that means
00:59:27You're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:29The richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:33Trixie's married
00:59:34The famed war hero
00:59:36The man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:41Now you believe me?
00:59:42Those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:46There's got to be some trick to this
00:59:48You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:51It's awesome
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie
01:00:02Because you've been in the military for so long
01:00:04You don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:07Let me take you to my wedding chamber
01:00:09And I'll show you a good time
01:00:12Do you have your hands for me?
01:00:14Or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:16I would never be interested in a woman
01:00:22Who's as vile and cruel and wicked
01:00:25As you are
01:00:26Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:34I don't blame her at all
01:00:35Your double standards are incredible
01:00:37Okay, you don't want me?
01:00:39Fine
01:00:40But there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4418 years old
01:00:45Fresh for the taking
01:00:53I did that so you wouldn't have to
01:00:55Miss Trixie
01:00:57Thank you, Devin
01:00:59Marissa
01:01:00Not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:02Your best friend
01:01:04By stealing my fiance
01:01:05But now you'd sell out other innocent girls
01:01:08Just to get your company back?
01:01:10You're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:12No, to all of humanity
01:01:13So now
01:01:14Everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:16I'm taking it all back
01:01:21Wait, everyone
01:01:22Stop
01:01:25They're imposters
01:01:31I just got off the phone with the president
01:01:32And she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34Because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:37So we won't go bankrupt?
01:01:40The goddess healer?
01:01:41You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:44Approved of my biomedical products?
01:01:47Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:51The goddess healer's motto is
01:01:53The right rewrites the wrong
01:01:55The left leave the wrong
01:01:57Bereft
01:01:58That means she's rewarding me
01:02:00The president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:03In fact, she's on her way now
01:02:08So you're telling me
01:02:09This dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:02:12Isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:14Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:16If the president and the goddess healer
01:02:18Approves of my products
01:02:19Who cares about this washed up war hero?
01:02:21We can break his legs
01:02:22Break his arms
01:02:23No one would even bat an eye
01:02:24She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services
01:02:28FBI
01:02:30FBI
01:02:31You're under arrest for fraudulent claims
01:02:34And identity theft
01:02:36Gotcha
01:02:41Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie
01:02:44No, don't arrest her
01:02:46Trixie's a good person
01:02:48Please, officer, don't arrest her
01:02:50Grandma
01:02:50Mr. Rogers
01:02:52Mrs. Williams
01:02:53What are you all doing here?
01:02:54The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:57We were worried
01:02:58So we came here to back you up
01:03:00Listen, officer
01:03:01I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor
01:03:05She's very kind-hearted
01:03:06And would never break the law
01:03:08Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:03:11Trixie gave her everything she had just to help her out
01:03:15She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:18My fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:21She's an angel
01:03:22Descended from heaven
01:03:28You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:32My brother is not a criminal
01:03:34He's a war hero
01:03:35Who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:38Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:41And that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:49And we've received no word that he's woken up yet
01:03:51So this must be an imposter
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:58I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:04:04If you want to arrest me, fine
01:04:07But don't fuck with my fiance
01:04:09You don't get to decide, punk
01:04:10Let's go
01:04:34Let's go
01:04:34Get him!
01:04:35If you want to arrest me
01:04:36If you want to arrest me
01:04:36If you want to arrest me
01:04:37If you want to arrest me
01:04:38If you want to arrest me
01:04:41If you want to arrest me
01:04:42If you want to arrest me
01:04:43If you want to arrest me
01:04:44If you want to arrest me
01:04:44If you want to arrest me
01:04:45If you want to arrest me
01:04:46If you want to arrest me
01:04:46If you want to arrest me
01:04:49If you want to arrest me
01:04:51If you want to arrest me
01:04:52If you want to arrest me
01:04:53If you want to arrest me
01:04:54If you want to arrest me
01:04:56If you want to arrest me
01:04:57If you want to arrest me
01:04:57If you want to arrest me
01:04:58If you want to arrest me
01:05:00If you want to arrest me
01:05:01If you want to arrest me
01:05:02If you want to arrest me
01:05:27Is that enough pain, or do you want more?
01:05:37Legend is written all over you, Icenander.
01:05:42Grandma, meet my new fiancé.
01:05:48Wow, your new fiancé. He's so manly. Much better than your last one.
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:05:57It's Butch's loss. Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:01She's like a shining star in the sky, and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:07Bitch, we name calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:06:12Drown out the poor!
01:06:13Drown out the poor!
01:06:21See Trixie? You've got no connections, no power.
01:06:24You can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:28We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:30So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:06:35Let them eat cake!
01:06:46You can't shoot all of them. Grab what you can, fam. Attack!
01:07:07You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:16What the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:19I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:29Dammit!
01:07:30Dammit!
01:07:30Dammit!
01:07:31Dammit!
01:07:32You forgot I had a gun too?
01:07:35That'll teach you from messing with the Wickhams.
01:07:37Take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here. We're cornered.
01:07:40I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:07:42Devon, you and your brother are both good men.
01:07:46I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:07:48They will be punished.
01:07:53Now hold still for me.
01:07:56Right.
01:07:57Rewrites the world.
01:08:08Holy fuck!
01:08:10Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:12By chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13Is she the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now.
01:08:20Thank you, Miss Trixie.
01:08:22See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:25No.
01:08:26Please.
01:08:27I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:29Don't put me on some sort of fetus.
01:08:30Sure.
01:08:32You hear that?
01:08:33She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:08:36She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:08:39While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:08:43Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:08:49I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:08:51And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:55Wrong.
01:08:56But you're close.
01:08:58Bullshit.
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can travel any low lives.
01:09:04You wanna cross the line so bad?
01:09:06Then let's see you try.
01:09:08Charge!
01:09:17The hell is this?
01:09:19This is the line between life and death.
01:09:23Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:31You're not the grim reaper.
01:09:33What if it's a trap?
01:09:34That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:09:36We ain't afraid of her.
01:09:37She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:09:40Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:42I will.
01:09:46Left leaves the wrong breast.
01:09:56I'm fine.
01:09:57Nothing happened.
01:09:58You'll see soon enough.
01:10:00Oh, please.
01:10:01I really wanna die.
01:10:03And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:08Whoops.
01:10:08Just crossed it again.
01:10:10Whoops.
01:10:11And again.
01:10:12Nothing's happening.
01:10:24No!
01:10:25No!
01:10:26Hey!
01:10:28What did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything.
01:10:31Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:34I suggest you take him to the ER if you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:10:39Come on.
01:10:41Major.
01:10:42Are you not gonna help your own brother?
01:10:43How was he able to cross the line?
01:10:46See?
01:10:46This must be an illusion.
01:10:50Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:10:53Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:02You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:04You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:05Oh, please.
01:11:06You hurt us first.
01:11:08At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:11But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:16Marissa, thanks for taking this little life from me.
01:11:20You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:23You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:28When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34Don't touch my wife.
01:11:37And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:11:43You can daydream all you want now, Trixie, but when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking
01:11:49truck.
01:11:49That you're nothing but an ugly phony and I'm the queen of everything.
01:11:52Oh, really?
01:11:54Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:11:58You've got nothing on me.
01:12:03Yes.
01:12:04Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:10Goddess!
01:12:11Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:14Yes.
01:12:15We'll be there immediately.
01:12:19Get the VP.
01:12:20We're leaving now.
01:12:24Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:34You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:12:36A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:39Miss Wickham is correct.
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:12:43Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:12:47You hear that, everyone?
01:12:48There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:12:54She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here to play up her importance.
01:13:00No.
01:13:01My granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:04Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the goddess healer can do that.
01:13:08Is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:16Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:23and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:34You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:13:41Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:13:45It ain't working.
01:13:46You can't just fake the...
01:13:50Yeah, but goddess healing power is legendary. It's like real magic.
01:13:55Trixie, you're an angel, but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:00And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08No. Trixie, look. I believe you. You saved me. Whether you're a goddess or not, you did not.
01:14:18No matter what happens, you are a goddess to me.
01:14:20We'll riot against you now.
01:14:23Tear her apart!
01:14:25Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart! Tear her apart!
01:14:31The Vice President arrives!
01:14:48Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:14:53You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:14:56Wait! What?!
01:14:59He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01No, no, we've been through this already once, okay?
01:15:05Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:06This actor Trixie Hired pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:12But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:16Yes, we all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:18What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:24And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:27The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell.
01:15:31And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35He is the general.
01:15:37Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:15:40Did you hear that?
01:15:41Even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:15:45So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:15:48We got the VP and the president.
01:15:51On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:15:55I told you.
01:15:57Now punish them, Vice President Langley. This is treason.
01:15:59Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:08Hurry!
01:16:09The goddess healer needs us.
01:16:13You can't do that, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:15My brother is a war hero.
01:16:17He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack.
01:16:20He was in a coma for two years.
01:16:22If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would...
01:16:23Enough!
01:16:24You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:28Not just your brother.
01:16:30Yeah.
01:16:31It's okay.
01:16:33Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiancé's life.
01:16:41And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:16:43I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:16:49I truly saved a good man.
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiancé.
01:16:59And what can you do about it?
01:17:01Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:04My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:09Let's try it out on them.
01:17:12Hold on, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:14There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:15Put innocent civilian lives in danger?
01:17:18Despicable!
01:17:19What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:24Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:28Did you hear that, boys?
01:17:33Oh!
01:17:42Shoot!
01:17:43Wait, that's the President.
01:17:57No!
01:17:58Hey, idiots!
01:18:00Oh, my gosh!
01:18:02Oh, my gosh!
01:18:07I'm so sorry, Madam President!
01:18:09That was...
01:18:10They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:14What is this?
01:18:16Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madam, for your military.
01:18:19This isn't war crime.
01:18:21These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:25I can shoot whoever I want.
01:18:26I have the presidential contract.
01:18:28With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:30And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing?
01:18:36Reverse the poison and take it out of the President before it's too late!
01:18:39That is easy.
01:18:40There's no need.
01:18:42I'll save everyone.
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:01What's happening?
01:19:02Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:04It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:08She...
01:19:08She is...
01:19:10She is a criminal!
01:19:12Don't worry, Madam President.
01:19:13We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:17Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:20What are you talking about?
01:19:21The President literally came here to give me my billion-dollar contract.
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36Yeah!
01:19:37Yes!
01:19:38Yes!
01:19:38Thank you, First Gentleman.
01:19:41Yes!
01:20:07Thank you, First Gentleman.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:18Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:26Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:29And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:31So prepare yourself.
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you going to do?
01:20:37The President is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:44You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's going to give me my billion-dollar...
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:08Why?
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion-dollar closet.
01:21:14You wish, you idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:23I-I-I don't understand. I was just trying to punish these imposters for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:31And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:41The one and only.
01:21:45And it's...
01:21:47Her.
01:21:58What?
01:22:02Welcome, goddess.
01:22:09Uh, we, uh...
01:22:16You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:28Help those in need.
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:34No, so that means...
01:22:35The billion-dollar contract, it...
01:22:37It was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancée and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please, I swear.
01:22:52I didn't know you were an ex-wife.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:01She's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold.
01:23:31All her gold.
01:23:33All that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:36This is all...
01:23:37You seduced me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:44Please, Trixie.
01:23:45Give me another.
01:23:47Chance!
01:23:48I want to be rich again!
01:23:50I'll be your slave.
01:23:51I'll kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:55But it's too late now.
01:23:57All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:04And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction,
01:24:08arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:13I never loved you.
01:24:15It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money.
01:24:17I don't care.
01:24:18You were rich.
01:24:20I'll see myself now.
01:24:22Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:24We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands,
01:24:37I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:49Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes.
01:24:53Well.
01:24:54Woo!
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02I do.
01:25:03You may kiss the bride.
01:25:05I'm sorry.
01:25:06I find you.
01:25:09Yes.
01:25:10You may love me.
01:25:12Yes.
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