00:00So we're going to sit. I love sitting. It's my favorite. This is my Bridget Everett shirt because I went
00:06to see Bridget Everett MGM this past weekend. For the 50th time.
00:134th. And, oh, Dave got a text. Let me see. I'll get my text for it. I thought I could
00:21catch him with something good. Oh well. Rats. There goes my memoir.
00:30Hear me out. It's an honor of Marathon Monday. It's an honor of spring. It's an honor of what I
00:37had in the fridge. Sometimes, and this is an important part of Bottoms Up.
00:43What you have, drink what you have is a huge component of what we are all about. So sometimes it's
00:50about drink what you have and that's important because you open your fridge and you're like, I have no idea
00:55what I'm going to have for a lovely cocktail today.
00:58Okay. So here's what happened. In honor of the Marathon, I was like making healthy in honor of spring, blah,
01:02blah, blah. So I have this greens only juice and I'm like, hey, this is good for you. This is,
01:10I don't know where he went. This is good for you. And it's in my fridge. How could we make
01:16this lovely?
01:18And so I Googled, what can you make with celery juice? And this is what we came up with.
01:23All right. Because the best thing you can do before running 26.2 miles is drink some gin and celery
01:30juice.
01:30Gin and juice. I mean, come on. All right. Hey. All right. So here we go. What do we got?
01:37Oh, by the way, just welcome to Bottoms Up with LBF and Dave. Do you feel like you're so sick
01:44of this?
01:45No. Oh my God. You hurt my feelings. I'm not sick of this. I'm just checking. I would never. How
01:53dare you? How dare you?
01:56All right. So we're doing this, uh, our version, huh? Our version. What'd you call it? You got a name
02:03for this drink?
02:05See you in 26. The Green Mile. The Green Mile. He's good. He's good. He's good, right? You're usually one
02:13who comes up with the name. I know, but I'm tired, boss. That's what he says in the Green Mile.
02:18I'm tired, boss. Isn't it? You should be tired. I'm tired, boss. It's quite a week you had. Yeah. Um.
02:25By the way, if you haven't seen Boots at Everett, I just love her so much. Go ahead.
02:29So, so we're doing our version, right? Yeah, we're doing our version. We're not using lime juice. We're using celery
02:34juice to make it healthy for that long. Yeah, I know, but I feel like we should add a little
02:36bit of lime juice. For that long run ahead. I'm going to add a little lime juice. Okay. Do what
02:39you want. Fine. So two ounces. And finally, LBF, I finally get to use the Ford's gin that I've been
02:46praising. Yeah, I know, but like also expensive, just so you know. Isn't it? It's not that expensive. This guy
02:52doesn't like the prices. It's really good. Yeah. Sorry about the traffic in the back. Let's just pretend we live
02:57by
02:58the ocean. Look at this. Um, so two ounces. Oh, you want to do a little, uh, lime? I do.
03:06All right. Just like a little. These wee little limes. We're just going to squeeze half. Uh, we'll do a
03:12whole. Yeah, let's do a whole. These are small. We'll squeeze a whole lime in there. You notice that about
03:16limes? They're like either really small or really big. It's weird. Can I throw these out? Don't do that. Why?
03:22With the, why not? Maybe we'll get a lime tree. All right, now we're going to do your juice. Put
03:27the lime.
03:28Um, don't think that's how it works. I really don't. You want. I'm a horticulture. You know, you can take
03:35a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
03:39Jesus.
03:41I'm like Dorothy Parker online. She drank a lot, too.
03:46So this is your drink, LBF. Do you want to do a half an ounce of celery juice or a
03:50whole ounce?
03:52You know, this is a tough decision.
03:53Can we do, can we meet in the middle of it? Like three quarters?
03:57You want to do three quarters? Sure, but you know.
03:59I think a half. I think a half.
04:00Nope, too late.
04:01Okay.
04:02I'm hoping your ratios work out, you know.
04:04My ratios are the worst.
04:05Really important.
04:06Okay.
04:07And, you know, I would, I would also do the, uh, couple dashes of celery bitters, but.
04:13But somebody stole them.
04:14I mean, okay.
04:15Somebody stole my celery bitters.
04:16Wait, wait, wait, wait. Time out for a second.
04:17Time out for a second.
04:19At what age does it happen that when something is missing from your house that you immediately think somebody stole
04:27it?
04:27Because I don't think that up until my 40s, I was like, oh, somebody stole it.
04:32I'm like, I misplaced it or like blah, blah, blah.
04:33But there's some weird thing that happens to you after you turn 40-something that if something's missing, you are
04:41absolutely convinced that somebody stole it.
04:45For example, here's celery bitters.
04:47I have these slip-on shoes.
04:50Convince somebody got in my car and stole them.
04:52Convinced.
04:53Can I say something?
04:54Yeah.
04:56You know the tight inventory I keep.
05:00Yes, I do.
05:01Okay, I know I had celery bitters.
05:04I know you did too.
05:05I've seen them.
05:06Oh, okay.
05:07All right.
05:07Now they're gone.
05:08They're not gone.
05:08They're missing.
05:09No, somebody stole them.
05:10I mean, it sounds crazy because who the hell would ever even know that such a thing exists?
05:18But they're gone.
05:19They're not gone?
05:20So we're not doing that, but we have the actual juice.
05:22Okay.
05:23Now, we want to sweeten this up a bit.
05:26So we want to sweeten this up a bit with some of the simple things.
05:30Just a little.
05:32Regular old simple syrup.
05:33Look at how it gets a little weird.
05:35Yeah, well, you know, it's just like that candy, that rock.
05:38Yeah, rock candy.
05:40Simple syrup.
05:42Real easy to make.
05:43It doesn't matter.
05:44You can put sugar in there.
05:45Cup of sugar, cup of water.
05:47Stir it.
05:47Stir it over heat.
05:48Boom.
05:52That's a lot of sugar.
05:53Yeah, well, you know what?
05:54All right.
05:55There's a lot of celery, so there's that.
05:56And that's it.
05:57That's it.
05:58That's it.
05:58That's it.
05:59That's it.
05:59And we have no fancy garnishes, right, Lauren?
06:02No, I'm not into it.
06:03You know what?
06:04It's the Green Mile.
06:05We're tired, boss.
06:06All right?
06:07It's just...
06:09We're at the finish line.
06:10Winter.
06:11We're springing.
06:12We're doing our thing.
06:15Yeah?
06:15Yeah.
06:21Your favorite sound next to the popping of a champagne corp.
06:24Yes.
06:25Yeah, people are like children's laughter.
06:28Oh, jeez.
06:32What about our laughter?
06:34I mean...
06:36Okay.
06:41Look at that.
06:42Look at that.
06:43Can I take this out?
06:44Yeah, just dump it in...
06:45Oh, cool.
06:47So fun.
06:47Yeah, it looked like fun.
06:48I'm going to try it.
06:51See?
06:52It's good to have a yard.
06:54Okay.
06:55And we can double strain, as we always like to do.
06:59Oh, look at that color.
07:01It's green.
07:01It's nice to be green.
07:02It's a health drink.
07:03It is a health drink.
07:04And that's really what I wanted to...
07:05You know what I'm going to do?
07:06You know what I'm going to do right here?
07:08Oh, look at you.
07:09Come on.
07:10Come on, honey.
07:10Come on.
07:11I am...
07:12What are we?
07:13If we don't accessorize, we're animals.
07:17Oh, that's special.
07:18Look at that.
07:20It is.
07:21I feel like it's good for us.
07:23That's special.
07:24What do you call it again?
07:24Oh, the Green Mile.
07:26Green Mile.
07:26In honor of the 26.2.
07:29Am I getting that right?
07:30Yeah.
07:31Miles coming up on Monday?
07:33Yeah.
07:34For the Boston Marathon.
07:35Which might be the day that this airs.
07:36So cheers, everybody.
07:37Cheers.
07:39Bottoms up.
07:39Is it any good, LBF?
07:42Uh-oh.
07:45I think we could have pulled back on the celery juice, but otherwise, delicious.
07:52Oh, I don't mind it.
07:53I hear what you're saying.
07:54Yeah.
07:54We could have pulled back.
07:55We could have pulled back.
07:56See, we went three quarter.
07:57We should have gone half.
07:58Should have gone half.
07:59This is the fun of cocktail making.
08:02Okay, bottoms up.
08:04Bottoms up.
08:05Wait, look, I can use my little thing.
08:08Yeah, I'm going to do that with normal bottoms up.
08:10This is actually pretty good.
08:11Bottoms up.
08:14And bottoms up.
08:17It's nice to be outside, isn't it?
08:19Finally.
08:20Yeah.
08:21You happy now?
08:23I'm happy.
08:24What do you mean?
08:25Just kidding.
08:26I'm happy.
08:30Do you think it could use more gin?
08:33It's two ounces of gin.
08:34It's just it's too much with the, with the, see, this is the thing about health.
08:38It needs, it needs a little more lime, a little less cucumber.
08:41Yeah.
08:42I think it was the right amount of simple.
08:45Okay.
08:46Here we are.
08:48Goddamn scientists.
08:51That's still, that's still going.
08:53Ha!
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