- 23 hours ago
Jethro's psychiatrist, Dr. Twombly, becomes fascinated by Granny after hearing Jethro's stories. When the doctor visits to meet her, he is mistaken for a target of Granny's love potion, which she was demonstrating on Pearl Bodine.
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed, a poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed.
00:05And then one day he was shooting at some food, and up through the ground come a bubbling crude.
00:11Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea.
00:16Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:19The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:21Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:24So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:27Beverly Hills, that is, swimming poos, movie stars.
00:32The Beverly Hillbillies.
01:13I'm sorry you got all tangled up in the rope.
01:16Well, I am rather helpless.
01:18If a man were to try and kiss me now, I couldn't resist.
01:21You couldn't?
01:22No, I'd be at his mercy.
01:25Don't worry about that.
01:27Ain't no man going to kiss you while I'm here.
01:31Jed, you are like a magnificent skyscraper with an uncompleted penthouse.
01:37Oh, that reminds me, Dr. Twomley is most anxious to see you again.
01:40Oh, I'm anxious to see him, too.
01:42He never did give me my certificate of health for school.
01:44Oh, well, Dr. Twomley is not an internist or diagnostician.
01:47He works in the field of psychiatry.
01:50Well, as soon as he gets done working in that field and gets back to his office,
01:53I sure would like to see him.
01:55He's in his office now, but what I want to explain is...
01:57I better hustle down there right now.
01:59Miss Potts says without I have a doctor's certificate,
02:01I can't graduate into the sixth grade.
02:10Andrew?
02:10Oh, good morning, Granny.
02:13Morning, Miss Hathaway.
02:15Where's Jethro?
02:16I told him to string me a clothesline in here.
02:19I'm going to have to take a hickory swish to that boy again.
02:22He's gone, Granny.
02:23But you don't need a clothesline.
02:25I sure do.
02:26Can't hang him outside.
02:27It's going to rain today.
02:29But, Granny, you have an automatic clothes dryer that rained today.
02:32That's right.
02:33Well, I just read the weather forecast in the morning paper, and it says fair.
02:36Yeah, it's going to be a pretty fair rain.
02:39Granny, the government weather bureau says no rain today.
02:44Is that a fact?
02:45Granny?
02:46Oh, howdy there, Miss Hathaway.
02:48Howdy.
02:49Granny, you're so hardening up real good.
02:51I best go out and start cutting it into cakes.
02:53It's going to rain today.
02:56Mr. Clabber, perhaps you can ease Granny's mind about this rain.
03:00Oh, that don't vex Granny none.
03:01She likes rain.
03:02Besides, it don't rain enough out here.
03:04It's not going to rain today.
03:06Who says it ain't?
03:07Well, the U.S. Weather Bureau.
03:09Who's he?
03:10If I had to narrow it down to one he, I guess I would have to say chief meteorologist.
03:15Well, yeah, them Indians is pretty good at reading rain signs, but I'll go along with Granny.
03:20The United States Weather Bureau does not depend upon rain signs.
03:24It is a vast complex of highly skilled meteorologists working with the latest scientific equipment.
03:29They send balloons tens of thousands of feet into the air to measure wind velocity, barometric pressure, moisture content, and
03:38temperature.
03:39Their radar network scans the weather all over the continent.
03:42Their weather satellites are out in space, circling the globe.
03:46Now, now, what does Granny have to compare with this in making a weather forecast?
03:51Twinges.
03:53Them little stabbing pains in her bones.
03:56I know what twinges are, but they can hardly be considered dependable weather profits.
04:01I reckon they're as good as balloons.
04:03Granny's got other ways of telling when rain's on the way.
04:06She studies ants and spiders and listens to the way to owl hoots and other things.
04:11I'm afraid superstitions and omens cannot compete with knowledge and experience.
04:16Well, I'm glad you're coming around to our way of thinking.
04:20Yes, sir.
04:21Granny's going to want him to tote that soap in before it rains.
04:23He's gone to Dr. Tromley's office.
04:25Good.
04:26He's going to need that health certificate at school.
04:29You've got to have it before I can graduate to fifth grade.
04:32You're in the fifth grade?
04:34Yes, sir.
04:35Fixing the scoot right on up into the sixth quick as you can give me my certificate of hail.
04:39Well, Jethro, a simple physical examination is no problem.
04:44I want to explore your mental capacity, your cerebral region.
04:48Should I take off my shirt?
04:50No.
04:51That would probably be necessary.
04:53Just make yourself comfortable on the couch over there.
04:56What did you do to your thumb?
04:58Oh, uh, I have a patient who thinks he's a dog.
05:15I hope this examination won't take too long.
05:18I've got to get to school before it rains.
05:20Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Jethro.
05:22It isn't going to rain.
05:23Oh, yes, it is.
05:24Granny says so.
05:25When Granny says something's going to happen, it happens.
05:28Sounds like she has remarkable powers.
05:30The strongest little woman you ever did see.
05:33I mean, clairvoyant powers.
05:36Uh, would you say she's a medium?
05:38Oh, sir, I'd say she's a small.
05:41She's strong as a medium.
05:43And if she ever took a switch to you, you'd know it.
05:45Has she ever taken a switch to you?
05:47Well, she sure has.
05:48Woo!
05:49And you stood for it?
05:50Last time, stood for pretty near two days.
05:53Sounds like your grandmother is rather savage.
05:57Sometimes she's as ornery as a mud wasp in a dry gourd.
06:01Violent temperament.
06:03I'll say.
06:03You're afraid of her?
06:04Oh, yes, sir.
06:05She's vicious?
06:06Well, that's a fact.
06:07Mean?
06:08Dern tootin'.
06:09Cruel.
06:09Oh, yes, sir.
06:10You hate her.
06:12Granny?
06:13Why, she's the sweetest little woman that ever lived.
06:17But you said she whipped you.
06:19Well, she sure does.
06:20How often?
06:22Just as often as an 80.
06:25Jethro, you're quite a remarkable boy.
06:28Oh, is the examination over?
06:30No, no, no.
06:30Just like it.
06:32Now, you say you don't hate your grandmother.
06:35But how do you feel about your Uncle Jed?
06:37Is he a strict disciplinarian?
06:40Uncle Jed says that's nobody's business.
06:43What?
06:44He says it don't matter what church you go to, just so long as you go.
06:49My question wasn't about religion.
06:52Well, if you ever get one, you just ask Uncle Jed, because he can quote the good book from
06:56cover to cover.
06:57That's wonderful.
06:59So you like your Uncle Jed?
07:03Oh, yes, sir.
07:04Well, back home, I used to brag that Uncle Jed could out-shoot, out-lift, out-hunt, out-fight,
07:09and out-figure any man in them there hills.
07:11I see.
07:12Back home, you were proud of them, hmm?
07:16Oh, yes, sir.
07:17But now that you're in Beverly Hills, surrounded by well-educated, well-dressed, sophisticated,
07:23important, and successful men, you still brag about them?
07:29No, sir, I don't.
07:32Uh-huh.
07:34Why not?
07:35Uncle Jed says it's sinful to shame these puny little city fellers.
07:45Miss Hathaway, how well do you know that there, Dr. Twombly?
07:49Well, I'm not a patient of his, but he has a very big reputation.
07:53I think I know how he got it.
07:56What do you mean?
07:57I wasn't in his office for two minutes, and he tried to lure me to his couch.
08:02Well, he does that with everybody.
08:03He's a psychiatrist.
08:04Yeah, he admitted that to me, and I told him he ought to try to get himself cured.
08:09Psychiatry is what he practices.
08:11Well, he ain't going to practice on Pearl.
08:13Now then, Jethro, as I've already explained, sometimes we have hostilities and aggressions
08:20which are so deeply hidden from our conscious mind that they reveal themselves only in our dreams.
08:26Now, please, try again to recall for me a few of your dreams.
08:41Jethro, I want you to tell me about your dreams.
08:46You keep asking me about my dreams, but you won't let me sleep long enough to have one.
08:53Let's forget about the dreams and go back to your conscious relationship with your family.
08:58Now, we've established that you love your mother, adore your grandmother, and worship your Uncle Jed.
09:05How do you feel about your cousin, Ellie Mae?
09:10Dr. Twombly, there is times when I'd like to whoop the tar out of that girl.
09:17And just when is that?
09:19When she whoops the tar out of me.
09:22What do you mean?
09:22Well, she's all the time wrassling me down, getting a toehold or an arm lock on me.
09:27I'm that smart.
09:29You mean to tell me that that beautiful and fragile-looking girl can engage you in combat and emerge victorious?
09:35No, sir.
09:36But she can whoop the tar out of me wrassling.
09:40And that makes you angry?
09:41You bet.
09:42You want revenge?
09:43Yes, sir.
09:44She disgraces you?
09:45Yes, sir.
09:46Shames you?
09:47Yes, sir.
09:48And you hate her?
09:50Ellie Mae?
09:51Well, shucks, no.
09:53I'd cut off my right arm for her.
09:59Jethro, don't you hate anybody?
10:03Well, I'm commencing to get a mite put out with you for not giving me my certificate of health.
10:13All right, Jethro.
10:15You take this note to Dr. Wilson across the hall,
10:18and he'll give you your certificate for school.
10:28Oh, howdy, Mr. Drysdale.
10:30Well, Jethro, hello.
10:32You going in to see Dr. Twombly?
10:34Briefly, yes.
10:35Do you hate your mother?
10:37No.
10:38Well, don't tell the doctor.
10:40Seems to disappoint him something awful.
10:46Come in.
10:51Hello, Gene.
10:52Oh, Milburn.
10:55Oh, biting nails again?
10:58Your wife was scheduled for this hour.
11:01Yes, I know.
11:01She just called me from the beauty parlor.
11:03She's running a little late there and felt she needed that more than this.
11:06And I have to agree.
11:09Your wife's doing fine.
11:11She's greatly improved.
11:12Oh, really?
11:13You know, it's hard to believe that once she was worse than she is now.
11:19Oh, I'm greatly indebted to both of you for putting me in contact with that wonderful Clampett family.
11:25Fascinating, aren't they?
11:26Remarkable.
11:28Jethro is the most uncomplicated teenager I've ever met.
11:32Well, the whole family's uncomplicated.
11:34Happy as hogs in a mudwaller.
11:37You are close to them.
11:39I'm proud of them.
11:41You're just the man to get me back in their good graces.
11:44Oh?
11:45What happened?
11:45Jethro's mother misunderstood my invitation to the couch.
11:50My persona non grata up there.
11:52You just come with me.
11:53I can fix that.
11:55Wonderful.
11:56I'm especially anxious to question Granny.
11:59That little woman is a walking encyclopedia of mountain medicine, superstition, and phenomenon.
12:06She absolutely fascinates me.
12:09Maybe I ought to ride into town with them and stop off at Dr. Twomley's office.
12:13See what's happened with Jethro.
12:15Pearl.
12:17Don't throw yourself at that goomer doctor.
12:20Oh, he ain't no goomer doctor.
12:22Well, he ain't a regular doctor.
12:24I asked him.
12:25I says, how do you cure warts?
12:27And he commences giving me a lot of talk about a electric needle.
12:32Right quick, I says, how are you going to thread it?
12:35With baling wire?
12:37He had no answer for that one.
12:40Maybe he ain't just the best doctor that ever come along, but I kind of like him.
12:45Well, I still say don't throw yourself at him, Pearl.
12:49If you want to see him, I'll conjure him over here.
12:51Yeah.
12:52My love charm.
12:54I got him all lumped up.
12:56All it needs is a little starting powder and you to say the magic words.
13:01Granny, I don't hold with conjures and love charms.
13:05Pearl, with your boy in a Beverly Hill school, why do you want to stay Sir Egbert?
13:10Why don't you use this kind of stuff in Beverly Hill?
13:13That's why it's so powerful out here.
13:15They don't know how to fight it.
13:17Open the pouch, you might.
13:20And I'll sift in a little starting powder and then you hold it to your heart and you say the
13:25magic words.
13:27Granny, I don't know how to do it.
13:30I'll show you.
13:31Now you watch.
13:35Darling, darling, my true love, come a-swoopin' like a dove.
13:40Oh, Granny!
13:41Granny!
13:42There's somebody here to see you.
13:44Granny, I couldn't wait to see you.
13:46Look at the great closing, lads.
13:47I counted him for myself.
13:49Get away from me.
13:50It's Pearl you want, not me.
13:52Toads and buzzards, bats so mean.
13:55Switch the spell to Pearl, Bodine.
13:57You'll hear it from me.
13:58You'll hear it from me.
14:00You'll hear it from me.
14:01You'll hear it from me.
14:09But, Mr. Clabbert, you don't understand.
14:12I just want...
14:12Just calm down, Dr. Tommy.
14:14Over here and sit on the sofa while she'll get a grip on yourself.
14:18Well, I'll be getting back to the bank, Gene.
14:19I see you're in good hands.
14:21No, Milburn, wait!
14:22What's going on?
14:23Explain it to me.
14:24Me?
14:25Explain the behavior of these uncomplicated people.
14:27To Beverly Hills' leading psychiatrists.
14:30No, Milburn, wait!
14:33Sorry.
14:34I want to pick up my wife at the beauty shop before the rain.
14:38Rain?
14:38What rain?
14:39The forecast says clear.
14:41You'll learn.
14:42So long, scientists.
14:47Mr. Clampett, I am proud.
14:49Perfectly all right.
14:50All I want to do is see Granny.
14:52I know that.
14:53But you've got to control the urge so she can break the spell.
14:56What spell?
14:58The one she throwed on you by accident.
15:00I'd like to talk to her about it.
15:02You would, but just simmer down a little first.
15:07I told you that love charm would work twice as powerful on these Beverly Hills men.
15:12I can't believe it.
15:13I just can't believe it.
15:14I tried to switch it over to you, but it had too strong a hold on me.
15:17I'll have to break the spell now with my letting go powder.
15:21And then start all over for you.
15:24Now understand me.
15:25I don't blame you for the way you feel.
15:27Ain't no finer women growed in the whole world than in the hills back home.
15:31Now you take my cousin, Pearl.
15:41Powder, powder, white as snow.
15:43Make the spell of love.
15:44Let go.
15:45Let go.
15:48The spell is broke, Jed.
15:49You can let him go now.
15:51Oh, Granny.
15:52Wait.
15:53What did you do to me?
15:54Come back.
15:55I want to talk to you.
15:56Granny, please.
15:57Granny, looks like the spell ain't broken.
15:59Never seen a man held so tight in the grip of love.
16:02You gotta remember, this fella is a psychiatrist to start with.
16:11Now stay right where you are, Doctor.
16:13I'll bring Granny in to see you just like a promising pearl, too.
16:16Jed, how do I look?
16:19Fritchin' is a fat hog on market day.
16:22Let's go see how Granny's doing.
16:26Granny.
16:29Granny.
16:32Doggy, you'd scare away vultures.
16:34I do appreciate this, Granny.
16:36Me, too.
16:37Come on.
16:38I'm glad to get shit out of the rascal.
16:40Why, they must be 30, 40 years difference in our ages.
16:44At least.
16:46I'm not about to get mixed up in one of them May and December courtships.
16:54Here they are.
16:55Oh, bonjour, monsieur, doctor.
17:01Ow!
17:03How are you?
17:05You didn't lie, I never got, you didn't lie.
17:08Pearl?
17:09I never see a spell to beat this one.
17:18I've got him settled down.
17:19I think I've found his weak spot, Pearl.
17:21What's that?
17:22He's mighty fine of music.
17:23Come on in, yodel for him.
17:25Jed, I just can't bust out yodeling for no reason.
17:28Well, don't worry.
17:28I'll lead you into it real natural.
17:30Well, I just hope it helps to get his mind off Granny.
17:33Me too, Pearl.
17:35I'm getting awful tired of that young feller chasing me.
17:38Why, there must be 20 years difference in our ages.
17:45At least.
17:49Why, dingy-daisy.
17:51It was your love charm that got him started.
17:56But, maybe it's your own charm that keeps him going.
18:02Oh, see, Dr. Twombie, did I ever tell you about my cousin Pearl here being an extra-frying
18:07cook and housekeeper?
18:08Yes, I did.
18:09Did I tell you about her dressmaking?
18:10Yes.
18:11Sock-darning and shirt-manning?
18:13Yes.
18:15Well, uh, speaking of yodeling...
18:18That means, Pearl.
18:29You ever hear anything like that, Doctor?
18:31Never.
18:33You got any requests?
18:36Yes, I'd like to see Granny.
18:39Don't pull the truck away.
18:41It's going to start to rain.
18:42But, Granny, the paper says that it's stupid, I tell you.
18:50Can I hear just...
18:51Oh, here you are, Granny.
18:54Thank goodness.
18:55At last, maybe we can be alone together for a little while.
18:58I've got so much to talk to you about.
19:00Before we begin, I want to remind you that I ain't no spring chicken.
19:06I couldn't care less.
19:08I'm glad you're the age you are.
19:10Well, you ain't exactly just hatched out of the egg yourself.
19:15So much the better.
19:17Gives us more in common.
19:19Well, as long as you got your eyes wide open.
19:23Let's go into the parlor.
19:25No, no, wait.
19:26I've got a better idea.
19:27We'll only be interrupted in there.
19:28My car's out front.
19:30We'll go for a drive.
19:31We can talk much better that way.
19:32Is that your car out front with no top on it?
19:35Yes, I always take the top off this time of the year.
19:37Well, we can't go driving because it's going to start to rain.
19:40No, it isn't.
19:41No, I'd say it isn't.
19:42I heard the news on the way over.
19:44The weather forecast is for clear skies.
19:47What time is it?
19:48A little before three.
19:49It's going to start to shower any minute.
19:51No, it isn't.
19:53No, I'd say it is.
19:54What makes you think so?
19:56I've been reading the signs.
19:58What signs?
19:59The way the ants is banking the dirt up in front of their holes.
20:02And the owl is hooting close to the house during the day.
20:07Fascinating.
20:08Come on.
20:08You can tell me all about it while we drive around.
20:11Oh, yeah.
20:12I ain't going driving in the rain.
20:13But, Granny, it isn't going to rain.
20:16You are the muleiest goomer of a doctor I ever did see.
20:20Come on.
20:20I knew this would happen if we stayed here.
20:26Leave him be, Jed.
20:28We's old enough to know what we's doing.
20:30Besides, he's got to get his car under cover before the rain hits.
20:33It isn't going to rain.
20:35Now, look.
20:36Let me show you.
20:39Look.
20:43Did you ever see such a clear blue sky?
20:46Such a...
20:48It's that black thing.
20:51That's a rain cloud.
20:57Bye, Doggy.
20:58Granny, you hit it right on the nose.
21:00Oh, my God.
21:09That poor fellow's going to get soaked, but I reckon a cold shower won't hurt him none.
21:13Might even broke the love spell you throw it on him, Granny.
21:15Oh, I don't care about that no more.
21:19Things wouldn't have worked out between him and me, no way.
21:22Well, what do you mean?
21:24He's too old and set in his ways.
21:48But now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
21:52And they would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
21:55You're all invited back next week to this locality
21:58To have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
22:03Hillbilly, that is.
22:04Set a spell.
22:06Take your shoes off.
22:07Y'all come back now.
22:09Hear?
22:19This has been a Filmways presentation.
22:21This has been a Filmways presentation.
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