- 11 hours ago
Animal Control S04E07 Episode 7 Engsub
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Short filmTranscript
00:03all right the happy couple is three minutes out this is so romantic this lady has no idea she's
00:09about to adopt a kid and get proposed to on the same day couple goals yeah wow that's what every
00:14woman wants to take care of two living things until they die what a great way to start a marriage
00:19through deception I hit Maya's ring in a cupcake and then I forgot about it and I ate it and
00:27then
00:27I went to the hospital okay places people good good good good they're here they're here glad we
00:38didn't overcomplicate this Jessica broke up with me in the parking lot congratulations
01:21I miss bath crayons you know you're soaking you're drawing you make a mistake you scrub it off the
01:27tub you fall asleep you drown in two inches of water sorry I finished that story the way I
01:32wanted it to end dispatch to truck 12 there's an emotional support donkey loose in Seattle Grace
01:37Hospital truck 12 responding creature known only for kicking as a support animal at least they're
01:43already near the ER when I was a boy I had a hermit cramp with the patience of an angel
01:47turns out it
01:48was just a shell nothing inside but that shell got me through some really hard times
01:56hey guys I've gotten a few calls about a deceased raccoon in the middle of Boylston Abner Olive Road
02:00can you pick him up starting the morning with a splat we're on it you want to scoop the splat
02:06or do you
02:06want to be a bag duty if it's a flat splat I'll scoop they're actually kind of fun it's like
02:10peeling
02:10off nail polish okay you guys realize you're still on the radio right uh no we're not I still got
02:17my finger
02:17on the button yeah it's just a little too soon guys the raccoon had a family it's just sharp talk
02:23you can't take the heat you get out of the kitchen well I'm trying to but you keep pulling down
02:27the
02:27button whoops your thumb is on it so a volunteer said the donkey got spooked when a patient rang the
02:34done with chemo bell huh hope this isn't contagious hello there you rough draft of a horse there you go
02:51all right nice this place sticks nothing good on the tv and what the hell keeps beeping it can't be
03:01it's definitely him yeah what happened dad nothing I just love hanging around in hospitals
03:07I had a heart attack you boob Papa Shaw no are you okay I'm gonna be fine shoot maybe we
03:15get a second
03:15opinion you can ask your new girlfriend here where's that classic Shaw family love language
03:20hey I'm gonna call Patrick I assume you were too proud to notify any of the other children I'm not
03:26proud of anything involving my children you know it's weird that someone with a charcoal porquette for
03:30a heart could even have a heart attack yeah a lot of love being hurled around in here can you
03:35get
03:35that ass out of my room you're gonna have to be more specific did you see the look on that
03:42dead
03:42raccoon's face he was like no he was more like like scared hey Patel I have some bad news uh
03:50somehow
03:51all of the food that was donated for your community outreach event caught on fire what how does that
03:56even happen yeah well we think it might have been a spark from an electrical wire I mean Roman's
04:00contractors really cut a lot of corners putting this place together so also his crew had the worst cat
04:06calling game a lot of repeats yeah I do agree with that um luckily the fire was contained but
04:11yeah all the food is obviously ruined I need all that kibble we open up the kennel on Wednesdays to
04:16give away free food to the public what am I supposed to do just like sit there and take in
04:20the frowns
04:20and the disappointment like I'm at home well I would just restock I mean you still have money in the
04:24outreach budget right yeah that's a good point I don't have any of the money I blew through all of
04:28it for the sip and snip I shouldn't have got those swag bags again still holding down the button
04:33oh you just have to get creative I'll help you thanks did you start the fire accidentally yeah I
04:44did I started the fire but I was smoking weed in there so let me get this straight you were
04:49getting
04:49high by the dry goods at the place where you work I wasn't getting high it was one joint would
04:56it kill
04:57you to get me a cheeseburger yeah are you okay I brought you a canna lily it's mom's favorite
05:02I said you get those at the same drugstore you buy your tampons thanks for coming he needed a fresh
05:07target good news Mr. Shaw your numbers have stabilized so we're going to discharge you oh hey let the
05:14healing begin you sure you don't need to keep them for like a month or two yeah we'll sign off
05:19on any
05:19unnecessary exams and probes the nurses have made it very clear if we don't discharge them as soon as
05:24possible they will strike wow been from a den he's a church and now a hospital kind of on a
05:28hot
05:28street whatever I'm going home little miss you get my trousers and look away he should make a full
05:36recovery but it'll need to be monitored I suggest you stay with one of you for the week not it
05:42those guys rock paper scissors that's not a five rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot
05:48rock paper scissors shoot smart guy would do paper right now then do it smart guy rock paper scissors
05:53shoot ow come on this is our father that we're talking come down you're right this isn't a game
06:01first one to the medical waste bin around the corner wins okay I don't agree with anything that
06:06brought us here but I love a competition on your marks and I hope you enjoy it being bad pain
06:37I win yeah only because I got doored doesn't matter because you have to take that you have to take
06:45that oh oh I don't know how to work this crap yeah that's the idea keep you distracted for a
06:58couple
06:58hours I almost forgot if you need anything anything at all whistle for Frank here we go
07:05Mr. Shaw keep this kid from messing around back there are you trying to take my wallet I took your
07:13wallet and keys and as fun as it would be to watch doc says you can't drive so I'm stuck
07:18in this
07:18freaking dump okay well as the owner of this house dump feels like a strong word I mean have you
07:22seen
07:23the new backsplash scooter munchkin here is your landlord how are you still renting at your age
07:28well you could stay at my place dad but remember the condo board deemed you as undesirable hey one of
07:35you knuckleheads go and get my sweater back at the house the blue one I cannot do it I'm still
07:41at
07:42work I got an active DUI checkpoint going right now dad goodbye Frank turning off my phone shred
07:49the backsplash is amazing I need my sweater I'm not driving to your house to get your sweater you
07:56can borrow one of mine oh just give me a second to find the itchiest one fine I'll pick it
08:05up during
08:06lunch unless you want to have an even bigger heart attack right now and just be done with it now
08:13I'll leave that with you and Mr. Shaw these lights are on a dimmer if that helps you relax
08:23maybe we can still give this away if we just say it's been slow roasted yeah yeah these carcinogens
08:29probably taste great hi hi sorry the donation center is temporarily closed we are uh out of
08:36inventory right now I'd actually like to make a donation I don't need this food anymore my cat
08:42passed away oh well let me just take this moment to say your cat has amazing timing
08:53thank you sorry for your loss we need pet food but you know who doesn't dead pets wait I hope
09:01you're
09:02not suggesting that we kill pets no but I think I have a plan yeah now I gotta check in
09:08with my dumb
09:09dad every couple of hours because of a major cardiac event he experienced he's gonna outlive us all
09:14he told me that on my 10th birthday and now he's at my house probably rifling through all my stuff
09:18a wordy's gonna find your diary it's a captain's log and he's never gonna find it I have it hidden
09:24behind oh nice try what's that what's that rustling sound is that potato chips no that would be
09:32crinklier no no Frank is stress-eating sugar-free gummy worms right now look I've been grinding my
09:38teeth lately it's a dissolvable bite guard okay you know the sweet treats you need buddy it's it's tough
09:44taking care of an aging parent it really is your mom's like 45 whatever uh actually my mom just
09:49turned 50 and I can't wait to take care of her because she's gonna be such a fun roommate she
09:53really is yeah aging parents can be tough not for me personally I got all these siblings and cousins
09:59I'm never gonna have to worry about it yeah my sister's on the hook for our parents because
10:03she's a hospice nurse so she's like really sweet about gross old people yeah they're gross
10:08both lucky hi Emily hey Frank you're um your dad is here what oh look he senses heat like the
10:16predator my best advice is to cover yourself in mud and don't move he's been strongly requesting his
10:21sweater I offered him my office cardigan and he said he does not like balloon sleeves you have my
10:26permission to put him down I want to watch the mariner game okay yeah we can set you up on
10:31the iPad
10:31until Frank gets back and bring me my sweater dipstick yeah bring the sweater dipstick sorry Frank
10:41don't look at me
10:46no pine tar players who aren't fat baseball is not the same game
10:54oh sorry um I can change that if you want to watch something else no this is a good one
10:58Pedro and
10:59Gemma get into a fight wait wait wait are you telling me that you watch hot pursuit well at
11:04first I thought it was a cop show and then it got its hooks at me it's literally my favorite
11:08dating
11:08show of all time we have to turn the volume up throw the subtitles on too definitely I can never
11:13understand what Gemma is saying a donation like this would be a wonderful way to honor the memory
11:20of rusty yeah now that he's crossed over the rainbow bridge his earthly positions can be put to good
11:26use I think rusty would have liked that absolutely yeah now come here you I know this is a difficult
11:37time
11:37but my ass did you buy in bulk hey there's another service starting and you look at the size of
11:44the
11:44gravestone you just know they spoiled their dog please don't night before 5 p.m. thank you
11:50watch up oh god another great up though I don't know how they can legally call any of those things
12:03bathing suits but
12:05well it's good that you have the show yeah wait what do you mean nothing it fills a void for
12:11you it's good
12:13okay well you don't actually know that much about me so well I was a detective for 30 years I
12:18can draw a few conclusions
12:19please don't you have a small bald spot in an irregular location on your scalp no you're a worrier
12:25and you're a workaholic and clearly you're not married based on that withering ring finger
12:32excuse me um I am actually very happy with my life and I am not in a rush for any
12:39of that stuff
12:39well part of the issue is how you dress what's with the blazer you into masters
12:48the homeowner said she's been hearing a scuttling sound coming from up there for the past two weeks
12:52and she said it's less of a shuk shuk shuk shuk shuk and more of a tick tick tick tick
12:58annoying and unhelpful as usual thanks
13:03hey Emily putting you on speaker hi Frank yeah your father's a nightmare so his condition hasn't
13:09changed sounds like you 86ed him darn right I put him in the parking lot isn't it about to rain
13:14yes so please come pick him up I am gonna go journal bye
13:29what I'm sending a cab to take it to my house I'm not getting into some driverless robot car
13:34no I said a cab probably driven by another half-blind old man like you
13:38it's going to start raining I do just fine in the rain it's the Viet Cong
13:51yeah are you all right yeah I'm fine no I'm not he's probably gonna catch pneumonia
13:56and then I'll be stuck with him indefinitely him slowly fusing to the fabric in the couch
14:01me explaining what happened to the old host of Jeopardy that's my life forever
14:14okay all right you scared me a little bit visions going blurry just gonna take a closer look at the
14:19floor wait Frank Frank I only know how to do CPR on a dog I need you to get up
14:25haven't you done enough
14:34OMG look who's here you remember Patel Victoria Emily dude I didn't hit my head we came as soon
14:42as we heard well as soon as we could make out what Shreed was saying in between sobs okay guys
14:46I'm fine unless I'm not of course well we're here for you buddy you got a plan for the sherbert
14:51oh and
14:52don't worry Frank your dad is okay I didn't ask he's down in the car and can I just say
14:56I am surprised
14:56this is your first heart episode Mr. Shaw good news your EKG results are normal yes I knew it my
15:03heart is awesome yours all suck it seems this incident was simply caused by excessive flatulence
15:09thank you doctor for waiting until all my co-workers were present to give me that diagnosis
15:15could we get that report in writing we'd love to frame it have you had any sugar-free foods recently
15:19yes my man was mainlining sugar-free gummy worms all day well that would do it
15:24we found high amounts of sorbitol in your blood which can contribute to chest pain and high levels
15:29of gas yeah I was here when the nurse released it and uh I will never forget what I heard
15:35stop stop
15:36listen I don't usually eat this way I track all my macros across three different apps I just wound a
15:42little tight today well today was a false alarm but with your family history of heart disease
15:47it's important that you manage your stress you know I still have a lot to process so I'm gonna
15:54have to ask all of you to leave the room absolutely of course immediately yeah no we gotta go we
16:02gotta
16:02go right now we gotta go right now okay I just got a message from that family who buried their
16:08poodle
16:08two bags of food and a gently used dog bed at this rate I'm gonna need a second shed
16:14hey guys I just got a pretty weird call a man said that you were soliciting him during his cat's
16:19funeral
16:19no we didn't mean to interrupt the service it was just a super long moment of silence what actually
16:24we brought them closure and scored a bunch of free stuff up top look your job is very hard but
16:30it has
16:31turned you into and I say this with love soulless monsters uh soulless monsters with a kennel full of new
16:37dog food take a look at that kennel yeah yeah okay um look I'm a cool boss I am everyone
16:43knows it
16:43everyone's talking about it and I know that you guys use gallows humor to get through the day but
16:47this has gone too far I really think you need to talk to somebody about it you mean like an
16:51open mic
16:51because I've been working on this joke about the headless rabbits we found you've heard of a
16:55hairless head but have you heard of it don't want to hear the end of that um no I meant
17:00that there's a
17:00more healthy way to process the sad things that you see on the job than making jokes
17:04like therapy we don't need that we don't need that it's not good to bottle stuff up look at frank
17:10and how should we be what like you yeah yelling at old guys leaving them out in a monsoon okay
17:15fine
17:16be miserable I don't really care just don't let it affect your jobs anymore okay that's a good plan
17:26I've heard of undressing people with your eyes but hugging people with your eyes it's disturbing
17:31hmm you really scared me today everything scares you I can't say Bloody Mary three times without you
17:37don't it's twice this year don't do it and I'm serious man okay your dad turns you into a stress
17:42machine and it's only gonna get worse as he gets older so I've brought somebody here that knows a
17:47thing or two about that I'll give you two a second along someday they'll track a disease spreading to
18:04this very moment that is really cute adorable see we feel stuff yeah we're not monsters we just
18:17don't dwell on the negatives right if we were we would look at that puppy over there and we might
18:21remember some things yeah like what happened on route 12 route 12 I don't I don't think I remember
18:29that one route 12 was the labradoodle puppy no I know of course I remember I'm just pushing it down
18:37what was his name
18:41splat no seriously I want to remember it wasn't splat it was burrito burrito that's right I knew it was
18:47something pretty stop I can feel you getting upset I don't want to get upset so just stop crying
18:52I'm not I'm you remember the kittens in the well Alistair Pippa buttons and Corsby I think about
19:00every night and I don't want to think about them anymore I'm so sick of thinking of that you guys
19:06are scaring that child what's going on
19:09everything's gonna die everything is okay all right I'm pulling you both from the field
19:23I don't know Bucky doesn't he realize that you're supposed to mellow out with age and somehow think
19:30he's getting even worse and because my family sucks I'm gonna be the one that has to take care of
19:35them
19:35and I just don't know if I can do that I mean who's gonna take care of me when I
19:42get old cuz I'm all alone and I don't know if that's ever gonna change
19:54change you are surprisingly helpful to talk to I can't believe I'm gonna say this but I'd like to talk
20:08to you we need to try and find a way to make this work
20:14we need to get out less or maybe even listen I'm just saying what I
20:19like I understand that you've been through a lot these past few days so
20:30here
20:34it's the wrong sweater numbnuts I said the blue one that is blue the one I like not the cheap
20:41one you
20:41gave me for Christmas colorblind and stupid
21:00my wife vetoed all my baby names Huckleberry Patel would have been a major league pitcher
21:08so what if I go to say to get you to prescribe me the good stuff I think I let
21:12us down a weird path
21:12I'm not actually gonna kill anyone you know I was just asking if you would have to report it out
21:17of
21:18curiosity and you do have to report it which is good and why I asked I understand that giving a
21:25patient a letter grade completely misses the point of therapy but if you were to give me a score out
21:29of a
21:30hundred on how good I'm doing there's a couple of areas I don't want to unravel love life family
21:35fear of mortality oh nothing about body or food let's do it
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