- 15 minutes ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh, my God!
00:10Brad, look at Dad's it!
00:12He finished the treehouse for you!
00:14Hey, hey, be mad!
00:18Oh, no, watch out, be mad!
00:21Hey, Brad, sorry about that.
00:23You all right?
00:24Oh, Brad, what do you think, man?
00:25Wow, pretty cool zipline.
00:27You like that, huh? It's military-grade.
00:28You built all this today? With my tools?
00:31Oh, no, you can't build the treehouse with the tampon, Brad.
00:34I had a little bit of help.
00:35Yo, Dylan, PS4's all hooked up.
00:37Thanks, Uncle Griff!
00:38No problem, buddy.
00:39Uncle Griff?
00:40Well, dude, I went out for a beer last night,
00:42and who's 10 to bar but me and Griffey?
00:44We get to talking, and we just click, you know what I mean?
00:46He's a great dude, man. He really is.
00:48I know how you feel about him, but just give him a chance, all right?
00:51He's having a tough time at home, and, you know, you're fired.
00:53I'm sure it didn't help.
00:54Well, I fired him because you made me.
00:56I made you?
00:57Yeah.
00:57Am I in charge around here now?
00:58Is my name on the mortgage?
01:00I mean, last time I checked, you were the man of the house,
01:01and me and Griffey were just staying here.
01:02He's not staying here.
01:03Because he's black?
01:04No, not because of that.
01:06Look, Griffey helped me knock this out, all right?
01:08So despite any prejudices that you may or may not have...
01:10I don't have any prejudices.
01:12Well, I said may or may not.
01:13Well, it's may not.
01:14Well, that's good because that's one of the ones I said.
01:16Hey, kids, come on. Helmets on the halfpipe.
01:18We've got to be safe around here.
01:19Wait, halfpipe?
01:22Look, I know it's taking up a lot of the yard,
01:24but it's going to make your house the coolest place in the neighborhood.
01:26I've got a sound system.
01:27We've got a couple of GoPros.
01:28That's Corey from Red Bull over the...
01:29Hey, Corey!
01:31You've got a sponsor for my backyard?
01:32Hey, Mr. Mehron!
01:34You want eggs?
01:35Nicholas, please, it's Dusty.
01:37Yes, I do.
01:38Brad, watch this run.
01:39Yeah, so Dusty!
01:39Yo, Dusty!
01:41All right, I'm going to dedicate this run
01:42to my future X Games champ, Dylan and Megan.
01:44This is for you!
01:52Looks like you picked the wrong leisure activity, buddy.
01:57Come on, baby.
02:05Thank you!
02:07Oh, hey, Sarah.
02:08Hi.
02:09Okay, who's got next?
02:10I do.
02:15Look!
02:19Some cute little tricks there, Dusty.
02:23Really adorable.
02:25Brad?
02:25Hey, who'd like to see how we used to do it
02:27back in the empty pools of Encino,
02:30Castaic, Irvine, Long Beach,
02:32Santa Clarita,
02:35Santa Cruz,
02:37Fremont?
02:38Honey, no!
02:38Please come down!
02:40Oh, I intend to,
02:42sister.
02:43Come on, Brad.
02:44It hasn't been that long.
02:46Godspeed.
02:48Godspeed.
02:57Oh, my God, Brad!
02:59Oh, no, no, no.
02:59It's best not to touch him.
03:00Wait a second.
03:01What do you mean, don't touch him?
03:01He's in trouble.
03:02Look, I know he's in trouble, okay?
03:04When there's a problem,
03:04who do you want to be in charge?
03:06You?
03:07Okay.
03:07All right, guys,
03:08we have an emergency situation.
03:09Now, what's the first thing we do?
03:11Anybody?
03:12You, redhead.
03:13Call 911.
03:14Close or wrong?
03:15All right, the first thing we do
03:16is remain calm.
03:17Yeah, that's good advice.
03:18The 911 operator can't understand you
03:20if you're hysterical, okay?
03:21So let's all take a deep breath.
03:22In for 10.
03:23Are you kidding me right now?
03:24Help him!
03:25Hurry up!
03:25Hey, that doesn't sound calm, Sarah.
03:27Now, please, call 911
03:28and relate to the dispatcher
03:29what happened calmly, okay?
03:30Okay, yes.
03:31Anybody know what we do next?
03:32Um, check with pulse.
03:34Nice!
03:34My start pupil,
03:35come on up here.
03:36All right!
03:37Okay, two fingers on the neck,
03:38right below the ear.
03:40Good.
03:40You feel a heartbeat?
03:41Uh-uh.
03:42Okay, now that means
03:43that Brad here is now clinically...
03:45Anybody?
03:46You, jean jacket.
03:47Dad?
03:47Attaboy, jean jacket.
03:48You're a smart kid.
03:49He is dead.
03:50Mm-hmm.
03:50All right, so what do we do?
03:51All right, come on.
03:51We're losing him here.
03:53Give him CPR?
03:54Yes!
03:54That's my girl.
03:55Come on up here, sweetie.
03:57All right.
03:58All right, lock your fingers like this
03:59and press down hard right here.
04:01Oh, great job, sweetheart.
04:03Dusty, hurry!
04:04Okay, I'm gonna go ahead
04:05and take this one, okay?
04:06Now, watch closely now.
04:07If you do your chest compressions properly,
04:09it shouldn't take long.
04:10Clear it out, guys.
04:14All right, guys.
04:20My dad can bring people back from the dead.
04:23Oh, no!
04:23Oh, Mr. Whitaker's a zombie!
04:26Oh, no.
04:29Hey, look, I'm okay, really.
04:31I just...
04:32I got a little joked.
04:33You got a little killed is what you got, Brad.
04:36We thought we lost you.
04:38Okay, I'm sorry.
04:39I just got tired of being the lame stepdad
04:42while the kids think he's Superman.
04:44Well, now you know how I felt.
04:45I always had to be the bad guy mom
04:47giving out the carrots and the punishments,
04:49and he would breeze in from God only knows where
04:53and get to be the cool, fun dad.
04:55Honey, look.
04:57I'll talk to him, okay?
04:58I'll tell him to get his stuff
05:00and get over to the Red Roof Inn.
05:02Pronto.
05:03Great.
05:04Frame up, too.
05:06Let's go to Brian Fantana
05:07and drive on the scene
05:08with a Channel 4 News exclusive.
05:11Brian?
05:12Had to watch.
05:14The mood is tense.
05:15I have been on some serious, serious reports,
05:17but nothing quite like this.
05:19I...
05:19I...
05:20Ching...
05:21King is inside right now.
05:23I tried to get an interview with him,
05:24but they said,
05:24nope, you can't do that.
05:25He's a live bear.
05:26He will literally rip your face off.
05:28Hey!
05:29You're making me look stupid.
05:31Get out of here!
05:32Panda jerk!
05:34Great story.
05:35Compelling and rich.
05:38Well, that's going to do it for all of us here at Channel 4 News.
05:41You stay classy, San Diego.
05:43I'm Ron Burgundy?
05:47Damn it!
05:48Who typed a question mark on the teleprompter?
05:50For the last time,
05:51anything you put on that prompter,
05:53Burgundy will read.
05:58Oh, God, this is a mistake.
06:00This is a mistake.
06:02He's very cute.
06:03He's very cute.
06:04No, he's not.
06:05No, he's not.
06:05He's hairy.
06:06There she is, Veronica,
06:08my little china doll.
06:10I am full of it tonight.
06:12Oh, silly.
06:14Hi.
06:15You look ravishing.
06:17It truly is beauty and the beast.
06:21I might add a handsome beast at that.
06:24Are you ready for our rendezvous?
06:26It's not a date, Ron.
06:27No.
06:28Strictly professional.
06:30Doesn't mean we can't have fun.
06:32Shall we?
06:33Yes.
06:34Yeah.
06:39May I take your order?
06:40Yes.
06:41I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet
06:43with a little bit of pepper
06:45and some cheese.
06:47Very good.
06:49I'll take a Manhattan
06:50and kick the vermouth in the side
06:51with a pair of steel-toed boots.
06:53Certainly.
06:54Thank you, Scott.
06:57Wow.
06:58Quite a drink order.
06:59Oh.
06:59Well, when in Rome.
07:02Yes.
07:04Please, go on.
07:06Uh, do as the Romans do.
07:09It's an old expression.
07:11Oh.
07:12I've never heard of it.
07:13Oh.
07:14It's wonderful, though.
07:16Mr. Burgundy.
07:18Tino.
07:18So good to see you.
07:19How are you?
07:20Oh, you're looking fantastic.
07:22Tino.
07:23Veronica.
07:24Veronica.
07:24What a pretty girlfriend.
07:26Drinks her on Tino tonight.
07:27No, no, no, no.
07:28No, we're work associates.
07:29I work at the station.
07:30I'm a journalist there.
07:32Oh, okay, okay.
07:33This is a good guy.
07:34Tino's the finest club owner in the city.
07:36My best friend ever, right?
07:37Yes.
07:38Yes.
07:38We have a saying in my country
07:40about people like him.
07:41The coyote of the desert
07:43always likes to eat the heart of the young
07:45when the blood drips down to the children
07:47for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
07:49And only the ribs will be broken in two.
07:52Tino.
07:52Okay.
07:53Well, Mr. Burgundy,
07:54we will be honored if you will play jazz flute for us.
07:57I can't.
07:59Please.
08:00You play jazz flute?
08:02I dabble.
08:03Would everyone love to hear
08:04Ron Burgundy play some jazz flute?
08:07Get it going, Ron.
08:09Yes.
08:10Please.
08:10Dude, get on stage now.
08:12Okay.
08:12I guess I can play a little bit.
08:14Honestly.
08:15Come on.
08:16Give him a hand.
08:17I'm not prepared.
08:18I really am not prepared at all.
08:20Yes.
08:21This is a surprise.
08:22I'll tell you.
08:24Guys, East Harlem Shakedown, E-flat.
08:27Keep the cymbal splashy.
08:28And Jerry, let's take the bass line for a walk.
08:36Hold on.
08:37I'm not hearing it right.
08:39Hold on.
08:46We got it now.
08:48It's all right.
08:49Fire up, Ronnie.
08:52A little ham and eggs coming at you.
08:54Hold on, people.
08:54I hope you got your griddles.
09:03That's baby-making music.
09:04That's what that is.
09:11Let's go.
09:18That's okay.
09:19That's why I did.
09:23There you go.
09:24Wait, you there you go.
09:26It's coming.
09:28It's coming.
09:30It's coming.
09:43It's coming.
09:56Hey, Aqualung!
10:21You were amazing.
10:24Where did you learn to play like that?
10:26Well, jazz flute has always been a small passion of mine.
10:31So what other passions do you have, Mr. Burgundy?
10:34Well, I have one great passion that lives deep within my loins like a flaming golden hawk.
10:48To one day become a network anchor.
10:51Well, believe it or not, we share the same dream.
10:57I, too, want to be a network anchor.
11:00God, you are so beautiful.
11:07We really should be going.
11:09I swore that I would never get involved with a co-worker.
11:15Wait.
11:18What if just for tonight, we weren't co-workers?
11:21We were co-people.
11:25I don't...
11:26Shh.
11:28You be a woman.
11:30I'll be a man.
11:33That's all.
11:37You continue to surprise me, Mr. Burgundy.
12:01Oh, I'm storming your castle on my steed, m'lady.
12:07Oh, my heart is the fire.
12:12Julio, it's good, it's good.
12:14Wait, stop.
12:16Stop talking like that.
12:17I can't understand you.
12:19Sorry.
12:23Take me to pleasure town.
12:25Oh, we're going there.
12:30Look, the most glorious rainbow ever.
12:33Oh, do me on it.
12:35Just say the word and they are yours.
12:39Wee!
12:55Nice, right?
12:56This is incredible.
12:58How did you do this with all the people here and the speakers?
13:01I thought we were just having a small get-together.
13:04This is a small get-together.
13:05It's one of many small get-togethers.
13:07That's why you got the house, brother.
13:08You're having fun, right?
13:10I'm having a great time.
13:11A great time.
13:12Good.
13:13So, what else have you got planned?
13:15Like a student band or something?
13:17Yeah.
13:17Yeah, that's it.
13:18I got a student alt-rock band coming on stage next.
13:22Mitch, I own six speaker cities.
13:23I'm worth three and a half million dollars that the government knows about.
13:26I got more electronics up there than a damn KISS concert.
13:29You got me wrong with that kind of red carpet for a fucking marching band?
13:34Just make sure you can see the stage.
13:36Excuse me.
13:37Pardon me.
13:37I just want to get through there, this door over here, if you don't mind.
13:42Yo, yo, this is the guy's son.
13:44Oh, this is his house.
13:45Yo, what's up, man?
13:46How you doing?
13:46Oh, no, no, no.
13:47That's my friend, Mitch.
13:48You're mistaking me.
13:49That's my friend, Mitch.
13:50He owns the house.
13:51Oh, okay.
13:51Anyway, yo, man, come hit this right here.
13:53You need to hit this.
13:54Oh, yeah.
13:54Yeah, hit that.
13:55No, I appreciate it.
13:56But I told my wife I wouldn't drink tonight.
13:59Besides, I got a big day tomorrow.
14:01But you guys have a great time.
14:02A big day?
14:03Doing what?
14:06Well, actually, pretty nice till Saturday.
14:08We're going to go to Home Depot.
14:10Yeah, buy some wallpaper.
14:12Maybe get some flooring.
14:14Stuff like that.
14:15Maybe bed, bath, and beyond.
14:16I don't know.
14:16I don't know if we'll have enough time.
14:18You know what I'm saying?
14:19You probably had to trade me out here, man.
14:21I'll kill you.
14:21You know what?
14:22You know what?
14:22Give me that thing.
14:23I'll do one.
14:24I'll do one.
14:24He's going to do one.
14:25He's going to do one.
14:26He's going to do one.
14:27Do one.
14:28Do you, baby.
14:30Oh.
14:32That's a talented man right there.
14:36Woo.
14:37I don't know what I'm talking about.
14:39That's what I'm talking about.
14:39Fill it up again.
14:40Yeah.
14:42It's so good.
14:44Once it hits your lips, it's so good.
14:46Thank you very much, guys.
14:48This is going to be happening at this house all year, so just get ready.
14:51Don't burn yourselves out tonight.
14:52I want to thank you very much for coming to the official Mitch Martin Freedom Festival.
14:56Yeah.
15:00Now, for those of you who don't know who Mitch Martin is, he is a very successful, very disease-free
15:05gentleman standing by the minibar.
15:12Now, courtesy of Speaker City, which is slashing prices on everything from beepers to DVD players, give a warm Harrison
15:20University welcome to my pal and your favorite, Mr. Snoop Dogg.
15:31Yeah.
15:33Yeah.
15:35Yeah.
15:35Yeah.
15:35Yeah.
15:36You know what?
15:37I'm thinking of a master plan.
15:48Yeah.
15:53Yeah.
15:56Yeah.
15:58Yeah.
15:59Yeah.
16:03Yeah.
16:08Yeah.
16:09Thank you so much.
16:10You know what?
16:13No.
16:15Cast!
16:16Sam001 !
16:18Add a copy in the paper, a stereo, a table.
16:21Ruben, chicken, a big veterinarian.
16:23You chicken wings.
16:25Hey, you're that guy.
16:27What?
16:29Mitchapalooza, from the poster.
16:31Yeah.
16:31Yeah.
16:31That's me.
16:32This party's great.
16:33Nice work.
16:34Yeah, well, my friends, they put it on for me.
16:37They're kind of re-releasing me out into the wild.
16:40What are you talking about?
16:43Nothing.
16:43Sorry.
16:44Try to have some pain.
16:47So what you need is some gain.
16:49Say what, say what.
16:51Say what, say what.
16:53Oh, man.
16:54Yeah, yeah.
16:55In a world of people.
16:56Let's check me out, y'all.
16:57Can somebody say make money, money, make money, money, money.
17:00Say money, money, make money, money, money.
17:02Say make money, money, make money, money, money.
17:05Make money, money, take money, money, money, money.
17:08Take money, money, take money.
17:09We're going streaking.
17:17No, I'm sorry.
17:18Sorry, we're going streaking through the quad and into the gymnasium.
17:24Come on, everybody.
17:25Come on.
17:26Snoop.
17:27Snoop-a-loop.
17:28Snoop.
17:29No, it's cool.
17:31It's cool.
17:31I'm cool.
17:31Bring your green hat.
17:33Let's go.
17:34Come on, everybody.
17:35We're going.
17:36Here we go.
17:38Man, man.
17:40Man, put the music back on.
17:41Let's get the party back cracking up in here, man.
17:44Woo!
17:45Come on.
17:47We're streaking.
17:48Come on.
17:49Come on, everybody.
17:50We're running.
17:51Come on.
17:52Woo!
17:53Woo!
17:55We're streaking.
17:57We're streaking.
17:58Woo!
17:59Woo!
18:01Come on!
18:10San Diego.
18:12Looks like we begin our search right here at home.
18:14Last I heard, Champ Kind was fired for being drunk on the air and saying,
18:18the only Olympic sport Filipinos are good at is eating cats and dogs.
18:22Woo!
18:23Woo!
18:24Woo!
18:25Woo!
18:26Who loves chicken?
18:27You do!
18:27We do!
18:28Delicious chicken!
18:29Swing on through!
18:30Meet the crew!
18:32Woo!
18:32Woo!
18:33I'm local San Diego legend, Champ Kind, and I believe in two things.
18:37Good chicken, and that the census is a way for the UN to make your children gay.
18:41So come on by and grab a wing, because when you do, you'll say, whammy!
18:47No Catholics or Jews admitted.
18:49All right, there you go.
18:51One whammy special with whammy slaw.
18:54There's a used fan-date in my coleslaw.
18:57My gosh, let me take care of that.
18:59Get out of here, before I smash your head in, you coming bastard!
19:02If you're from the census, you take me off their list!
19:06You never did have much of a bedside manner, Champ.
19:09Ron?
19:09Ron Burgundy?
19:11Get over here!
19:12How are you, friends?
19:13I have longed for you.
19:15It's good to see you, too.
19:17Oh, this feels like home.
19:19Yeah.
19:19Are you all right?
19:20Yeah, fine.
19:21Better now.
19:22Okay, let's break the huddle here, huh?
19:26Okay.
19:27All right, get back here!
19:29Don't be weird!
19:31So, anyway, Harkin sat me down.
19:33He said, Champ, you're a dangerous alcoholic, a racist, and I don't think you know a lick about sports.
19:39And I said, Ed, you dirty polack, it's 10 in the morning, let's go have some drinks.
19:44Go to a baseball game, where the Mexicans hit some touchdowns, then he fires me.
19:49Fortunately, on the way out the door, I fake a work injury.
19:53With the settlement, I bought this place.
19:55Well, I'm glad to see you landed on your feet, Champ.
19:57Yeah.
19:58Listen, can I ask you a question?
20:00Sure.
20:01Anything.
20:01Is this chicken?
20:04Hell no.
20:06It's really impossible to turn a profit if you serve real chicken.
20:09Yeah.
20:10We use mainly bats.
20:12What?
20:12Yeah, but the good quality kind.
20:15That's the most horrible thing I've ever heard.
20:17Yeah.
20:18You gotta do what you gotta do, right?
20:20So what you gotta do is serve fried bats?
20:22Yep.
20:23Do you know what they call bats?
20:25Bats?
20:26Chicken of the cave.
20:27No one calls them chicken of the cave.
20:29Who's they, by the way?
20:31There's a guy I met named Paco.
20:33Sells biker speed at the pier.
20:35So that guy calls them chicken of the cave?
20:38Yeah.
20:39That's not they.
20:40Why don't you have a bite and stop judging it?
20:43I'm not gonna bite into a fried bat.
20:45It's delicious.
20:46It's all tendon.
20:47Look at it.
20:50Is that a bat?
20:52Chicken of the cave.
20:54What brings you here, Ron?
20:55My friend, we've got a job in New York City.
20:59Whammy!
21:00I'm in!
21:01You've got yourself a sportscaster.
21:03Oh, great.
21:04Danny!
21:06Lock up!
21:08Any idea where Brian Fantana is?
21:10You haven't heard?
21:11Fantana hit the big time.
21:13Oh, baby.
21:16Yeah.
21:17That's it.
21:18Play for me.
21:19Just play around.
21:20Roll around.
21:21Lift those legs up.
21:23You are a hairy little thing, aren't you?
21:27Yeah.
21:28Oh, I like what's happening.
21:30Oh, that's it.
21:32Yeah, yeah.
21:33Oh, you little buzz ball.
21:35That's...
21:35Oh!
21:38I got it.
21:40It's not getting any better than that.
21:43That's brilliant.
21:45Hey, Brian, you have any time for the little people?
21:50Well, I'll be a son of a bitch.
21:56Hey, Brian.
21:57Hey, how are you doing?
21:59Hey!
21:59Hey!
22:00Wow, this is, uh...
22:01Cool it.
22:02Oh, I can't believe...
22:03Oh, wow, it's great to see you!
22:05Welcome.
22:06Welcome to my doge.
22:07Oh, this place is spectacular.
22:09It's amazing.
22:10A bit chaotic today.
22:11We got the Cat Fancy cover coming out, and you know how that can be.
22:14I've been living in a tent for the last two years.
22:16Oh, yeah, this is not that.
22:17We've got a sauna in the kitchen.
22:19A lot of people think that's weird, but, uh...
22:21Mmm.
22:21I keep wine in it.
22:23I'm not a wine guy, but I know you've got to keep it hot.
22:25Right.
22:25Oh, check this out.
22:28This, uh...
22:28This was fun.
22:29We shot this over two weeks in Prague.
22:31Wow.
22:32You know what they call cats?
22:35Chicken of the rail yard.
22:36No.
22:37What?
22:38Don't indulge him.
22:39Yeah.
22:39There's a lot of meat.
22:41But I love it.
22:42And what's so great about it is it's so damn true.
22:45I hate Mondays.
22:46I'm not a Monday guy.
22:48Ron hates Mondays.
22:50Hell, I'm not crazy about them either.
22:52I also don't like Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays.
22:56So why are you guys here anyway?
22:58Well, Brian, we're getting the news team back together again.
23:02Really?
23:03And of course, we want to know if you'll join us.
23:05Jeez, I don't know.
23:07I kind of got the world by the tail here.
23:09I don't know if I can.
23:11Christ, I get it.
23:12I mean, you're the Quincy Jones of cat photographers.
23:15Why would you leave all this?
23:16Hey, Brian, I don't know if you heard, but New York has all nude strip clubs.
23:23Question still remains.
23:25Where's Brick Tamlin?
23:27Oh.
23:28You guys didn't hear.
23:30No, what happened?
23:33Brick's...
23:34dead.
23:44Brick was lost at sea about a year ago.
23:46Oh.
23:47Thought he saw a bird and he swam out to pet it.
23:50It never came back.
23:51We all love Brick.
23:54Even though he never had a phone number or address or social security number.
24:00In six years of working at the station, he never cashed a paycheck.
24:03Oh, sweet Brick.
24:05He was a sensitive man, though.
24:06He told me he wanted to donate his organs to science before he died so he could see where
24:12they ended up.
24:14Yeah.
24:14He'll long be remembered and he'll be sorely missed.
24:23Thank you, Reverend.
24:25No.
24:26Oh, come on!
24:28Brick was a great man.
24:29Really?
24:30And I will miss him so much.
24:31And I will not rest until I find his killer.
24:34What?
24:35His killer?
24:36It's hard for me to believe that he is gone.
24:39He's not gone.
24:41I knew when I just saw him yesterday.
24:44Are you probably talking to yourself in a mirror?
24:46When I got the news...
24:49I didn't even know how to make sense out of it.
24:53None of us understand.
24:54Why?
24:55Why?
24:57Why did you take it from us?
24:59You're clearly standing in front of us, Brick.
25:01God damn you!
25:03Brick!
25:04Brick is dead!
25:05No!
25:05Brick's alive!
25:06Brick is dead!
25:07Look at him!
25:07He's not dead!
25:08He's not dead, Brick.
25:09You're not dead.
25:09You're Brick.
25:10Brick, it's you.
25:11He's dead!
25:12No!
25:13You are Brick.
25:15Touch yourself.
25:16I am Brick!
25:17Yes!
25:18I'm alive!
25:19Yes!
25:20Of course!
25:22Of course you are!
25:23Oh, for heaven's sake.
25:25You kind of want to slug him.
25:27You want to slug him.
25:27Let's go!
25:28Vagrants and whores, you're wanted in makeup.
25:31Runaways and street hustlers, you're next.
25:33You had this worry, Derek.
25:35Everything's cool.
25:36I'm really super psyched for the show.
25:38Good.
25:39Just remember, relax.
25:43Two minutes, Derek.
25:46Ah, there he is.
25:49I just want to wish you, uh, good luck.
25:53Don't you mean goodbye?
25:55What are you talking?
26:01I know it was you, Maury.
26:03I know it was you.
26:05And it breaks my heart.
26:07Derek, I don't know what you're talking.
26:12Derek.
26:14I'm...
26:17I'm sorry.
26:26I'm glad you could join us, K-Mart.
26:28Lucky for you, there's no dress code.
26:32I am the violent spew of the wretched masses.
26:37I am really, really, dirty.
26:42I am...
26:43DELITED!
26:44DELITED!
26:58You make me sick to my stomach, Jacko.
27:03It'll all be over soon.
27:05Derek Zoolander will be dead.
27:07And you'll be fine.
27:09You always are.
27:10Come on, Derek, you're on.
27:14Quickly, Derek.
27:15Go, go!
27:16Come on.
27:17Go, go, go!
27:22Go, go!
27:24Go, go, go, go!
27:49Derek it's relaxed I'm fine I've done this a thousand times the trigger is
28:08Oh
28:09Concentrate Derely
28:13Do not be distracted by the beautiful celebrities
28:25Do as you've been trained to do and kill the Malaysian Prime Minister
28:43Just do it already
28:55Diva's I got your back what
29:01It's a damn handsome he's so hot right now
29:10They're breakdance fighting
29:18Oh
29:18Don't do it when you want to go to
29:34Don't do that when you want to go to
29:46Relax
29:47Don't do it when you want to go to
29:49Relax
29:50Don't do it
29:51Don't do it
29:53Don't do it
29:54Jack
29:55Relax
30:12Don't do it
30:17Derek Zoolander just tried to kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia
30:22That's bullshit
30:24Listen up everyone
30:25Ugatsu's a dick
30:27He tried to brainwash Derek to kill the claymation dude
30:32That's a lie
30:34Zoolander snapped because he's over the hill
30:36He knew his career was over and he couldn't face it
30:38No way compadre
30:40We got 30 years worth of files
30:42Right here in this computer
30:44That are gonna bring you down
30:45Oh no
30:47Ah damn
30:53Where'd all the files go?
30:56I'm taking you out
30:59I'm taking you out
30:59Huh?
31:00Taste my pain bitch!
31:06Yes!
31:07Deal with that!
31:12You don't have the guts
31:14Kmart
31:15Wanna bet?
31:17And by the way
31:17You were wrong about my outfit
31:19It's the Cheryl Ladd collection and I got it at JCPenney
31:23Leave
31:24On sale
31:30Jigs up Mugato!
31:32Everything they're saying is true
31:33I've been in on it for 30 years
31:35What are you doing Ballstein?
31:38I'm done Jocko
31:40I got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories
31:44It's time to set things straight
31:46You have no evidence
31:47Hands stupid destroyed everything
31:49I got two words for you sugar
31:52Zip disc
31:54The whole thing is in my den in Long Island
31:57I can have that evidence here in 20 minutes
31:59Atta boy Maury
32:00Hold on a sec
32:01I'm afraid of the radiation
32:06Sheila honey it's me
32:08Listen I need you to bring that zip disc in the den down to the fashion show
32:14I don't care what the traffic is like
32:17Take the goddamn service road and get off before the bridge
32:22So put it in one of those Tupperware containers
32:24Now heat it up in the microwave when I get home
32:27For Christ's sake it's a casserole Sheila
32:30It'll stay!
32:32Shut up!
32:34Enough already Ballstein!
32:36Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway?
32:38The man has only one look for Christ's sake
32:42Blue Steel, Ferrari, La Tigra
32:45They're the same face!
32:48Doesn't anyone notice this?
32:50I feel like I'm taking crazy pills
32:54I invented the piano key necktie
32:57I invented it
32:58What have you done Derek?
33:01Nothing!
33:02You've done nothing!
33:04Nothing!
33:05And I will be a monkey's uncle
33:07If I have you ruin this for me
33:09Because if you can't get the job done
33:11Then I will
33:12Die you wage-hacking scum
33:15Oh!
33:19One look!
33:22One look!
33:24I don't think so!
33:38There it is!
33:40Magnum!
33:41Holy moly!
33:43Yeah baby!
33:45That's what I've been waiting for!
33:47Dear God!
33:49It's beautiful!
33:53Yeah!
34:03Yeah!
34:06Yeah!
34:08Oh!
34:09Oh!
34:13That's my kid!
34:15That's my son!
34:23Derek!
34:24I love that kid
34:26Dumb as a stump but I love him
34:29Derek you did it!
34:30That was amazing!
34:31I know!
34:32I turned left!
34:34Yeah that too!
34:35But Derek you saved the Prime Minister of Malaysia!
34:37Oh right!
34:39Cool!
34:40Thank you Derek Joolander for saving my life!
34:44I will stay alive!
34:46That's my fault!
34:48I will save you all after I love him!
34:52Ah!
34:52Oh, my God.
35:22Oh, my God.
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