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Something Very Bad Is Going To Happen S01E01 [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
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02:35I'll sleep again.
02:36Yeah, okay.
02:37Okay, um, oh, the original Coldy's is coming up in the next town.
02:43Yeah?
02:43Yeah.
02:44Coldy's?
02:45What, they didn't have Coldy's in Oregon?
02:49Well, you've heard of Coldy's, though, right?
02:51The frozen custard shop?
02:52No.
02:52Bro, are you kidding?
02:55What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldy's?
02:58How would I know about the founder of an ice cream shop that I've never heard of?
03:01I mean, he also murdered three women, and it's custard, not ice cream.
03:07Oh, my God, how?
03:08Make it different from ice cream.
03:10It uses more eggs or something.
03:12It was strangulation, I think, mostly.
03:14There's this podcast about Larry Poole, and it talks about this woman who tried to kill
03:19in the early 90s, and she was, like, eight months pregnant, and she just talks about
03:23all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
03:26I mean, what kind of fucking shit?
03:29I was in his truck, and he was taking me down this remote highway, and that's when I noticed
03:35this tiny little shoe at my feet, a Barbie shoe.
03:38That could have meant he had a daughter, so I told him I was having a little girl.
03:43I was pregnant.
03:44I kept reminding him I'm pregnant.
03:46Then I saw a rest stop sign.
03:48I asked if he could stop, and he just reached over and he slit my throat.
03:55It felt hot, the blood coming out of me.
04:01And what I didn't expect is that when you lose a lot of blood, you can feel actually euphoric.
04:10It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
04:13More than near death, it was almost like love.
04:20And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
04:24I just kept thinking, if you close your eyes, you'll die here.
04:30So I got up.
04:32I walked along the road, holding my throat together, and I started to feel less euphoric
04:37and more melted, like I was disappearing.
04:41But at the same time, like, I was running a marathon, and I was winning.
04:47I was winning.
04:50I made it to the rest stop.
04:51A young couple was there.
04:53Their eyes.
04:55God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
04:58But they were so kind.
05:01Thank God for them.
05:02Thank God for them.
05:03Those people saved my life.
05:06I'm going to grab a lighter from the gas station.
05:08You want anything?
05:10Maybe, uh, cinnamon gum?
05:12It's not that gross.
05:13It's pretty gross.
05:14Oh, will you, uh, save us a...
05:15Window booth, yeah.
05:23That's everybody.
05:28No doubt about it, I really think you're fine.
05:34Oh, baby.
05:35I'll shout all about it, so it won't be on your mind.
05:41Oh, baby.
05:43It's out of my desire.
05:46And what?
05:46It's not just that.
05:47I heard that you can also actually feel your bones and organs shifting to make room for the baby to
05:51come out.
05:52You know some women have giant babies, haven't you heard of that?
05:55Like, like, 12-pound babies.
05:57A huge hedge just tearing everything.
05:59We wouldn't have a huge baby.
06:01How do you know?
06:02Oh, I just think that, like, our future baby would be dainty.
06:09You can't guarantee that.
06:12I don't want to be torn open.
06:14It'll be small, I promise.
06:15Like this.
06:16Smaller.
06:16Smaller?
06:17Okay.
06:18Smaller than that.
06:20Smaller than smaller than this.
06:22I can't...
06:23Okay.
06:24That's good.
06:26Wait.
06:27That's so close.
06:29Holy shit.
06:30Really?
06:30Yeah, wait.
06:31I gotta show you.
06:31Hold on.
06:32With bad things happening to him.
06:34Why does he keep getting up?
06:35I don't know.
06:36The guy loves dogs.
06:38He loves dogs, and why do they keep going missing?
06:40What do you want me to say?
06:42Dogs go missing.
06:43No, dogs don't go missing.
06:45Cats go missing.
06:46That's not how it works.
06:48Are you sure you've never seen the logo before?
06:50I mean, it's identical.
06:52It is weird.
06:54You even got the pose right and everything.
06:56Yeah.
06:58That's crazy.
06:59Six cents or something.
07:01Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend, the one that had the daughter of Kathy?
07:05Okay, keep going.
07:06So his four-year-old girl Kathy, she could remember her past life, and she always talked
07:10about her late husband and how he drowned trying to rescue their son from the rapids.
07:17Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
07:19No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension or at least remember
07:26their past lives, and I don't know, maybe even the future.
07:29And I think that's weird.
07:31I don't like it.
07:33Or Kathy had a great imagination.
07:36You didn't know Kathy.
07:37She was haunted.
07:39I don't want haunted children.
07:42Yeah, well, we won't haunt them.
07:44Make them out haunted.
07:46You're not haunted.
07:47You can't know that for sure.
07:49I hope our kid comes out like you.
07:51Which is very sweet.
07:56At least my mom would have to skip that part.
07:59Which part?
08:01The whole thing.
08:02I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel for old people to pour their love
08:06into?
08:07It's just distracting the inevitable loneliness of aging.
08:09Wow.
08:10Great lunch.
08:11I mean, what reason would a person have to keep losing their daughter?
08:15It's not like it's on purpose.
08:17I'm like, who cares?
08:19Can I get big in for another daughter?
08:21What's wrong?
08:23It's okay.
08:24I didn't even know her.
08:26It's fine.
08:29We had such a great seven and a half months together.
08:32It was so good.
08:33I didn't really even need any more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Yeah.
08:38Yeah.
08:38I've actually heard that.
08:39That's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
08:42What?
08:43A dead mother?
08:45And a agoraphobic father?
08:47Yeah.
08:47It's perfect.
08:48I think I read a New York Times article about it.
08:50And they said also that someone with overbearing parents makes the perfect match for someone
08:55with a dead mother and a strange father.
08:57Should we, like, get married or something?
08:59Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony.
09:01My parents' little vacation cabin in the woods.
09:03None of the wedding bullshit.
09:05Just beautiful nature, snow falling outside the window.
09:08And we don't have to fly.
09:09We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
09:13That's it.
09:14Let's fucking go.
09:15I'll marry you.
09:15Okay.
09:16Cheers.
09:18Clink.
09:20I love you.
09:21Love you.
09:23Hey.
09:23Hmm?
09:25My family's going to love you.
09:29She's got it.
09:30We're getting married.
09:33And, um, our kid will be perfect.
09:41Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
09:44Our kid will be mediocre.
09:45Some kids kill their own parents.
09:48Okay, but how is our kid going to kill us when it's only this big?
10:05He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
10:09What?
10:24I love you.
10:29I love you.
10:37My heart was made for bleeding.
10:40I love you.
10:41I love you.
10:44And I know you're mine.
10:58Ready?
10:59Three, two, one.
11:03I love you.
11:33I love you.
11:34Oh, I'm sorry.
11:48Oh, oh, my God.
11:49Aw.
11:55Oh.
11:57Oh, my God.
11:58What?
11:59Poor Freddy.
12:00I'm sorry.
12:01It was a long tunnel.
12:04But that's bad luck.
12:06I'm sorry.
12:07I'll get it all the way back.
12:10Fuck.
12:37Fuck.
12:58God, I gotta pee.
13:05God, I gotta pee.
13:42Oh, my God, Nicky.
13:44Nicky, come here.
13:45Come here.
13:46What?
13:47Come here.
13:52Look.
13:53Oh, my God.
13:53Do you think it's okay?
13:56Okay, stay here.
13:58I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
14:01Rachel, are you...
14:02I'm looking for its parents, and, uh, just stay.
14:05I'll be right back.
14:06Rachel.
14:08Uh...
14:09Okay.
14:10Hey, hi, baby.
14:11What's up?
14:12No.
14:13No, no, no.
14:13Don't cry.
14:15Happy baby.
14:17Hello?
14:19Anyone in here?
14:24Oh, my God.
14:37Hello?
14:39Hello?
14:41Hello?
14:42Hello?
14:45Hello?
14:46Oh, my God.
16:28I'm not getting any service.
16:30I checked the men's room.
16:31There's no one in there.
16:32Oh, fuck.
16:33No service.
16:33No service.
16:35Okay.
16:37Um.
16:40Okay, but I think one of us should just stay here with the baby and the other one should
16:42drive to the nearest, like, gas station or restaurant or whatever and call for help.
16:45Okay.
16:45Yeah.
16:46Um.
16:46What do you want me to...
16:47Why is it quiet?
16:48What?
16:49Freeze the stuff in there.
16:50If I was my partner, I would like...
16:55Okay.
16:57Uh.
16:59Did you try breaking it?
17:19What the fuck?
17:21Uh.
17:23I was thinking...
17:23Oh.
17:24Yeah.
17:27Oh.
17:28Oh.
17:29Oh.
17:31Oh.
17:33Oh.
17:43Oh, oh.
17:45Oh.
17:45Oh.
17:46Oh.
17:46Oh.
17:46I don't know.
18:27I don't know.
18:46I don't know.
18:49Hi.
18:50Hi.
18:50Excuse me.
18:51There's like a rest stop, I don't know, 20 miles south of here off the highway.
18:55I don't have any cell service, but my boyfriend and I stopped there and we found a baby abandoned
19:01in a car.
19:02And I think that maybe something bad might have happened to its parents.
19:08Uh...
19:09Are you...
19:10Are you alone out here?
19:16Oh, that's good.
19:18You're here.
19:20Oh.
19:21That's good.
19:22That's less good.
19:23Sorry, can you call the cops please?
19:26Uh...
19:27Benjamin.
19:28Yeah.
19:29Benjamin.
19:31Benjamin.
19:31So cool.
19:32Benjamin was the name of the guy who worked here before me, but he hung himself in the
19:37bathroom with an electrical cord and they were too cheap to get me a name tag with my
19:40own name on it.
19:43Um...
19:43So could you...
19:45Could you call the cops now please?
19:47Are you stoned?
19:52It helps me relax.
19:54You seem relaxed.
19:55Could you call the cops please?
19:57Wait here.
19:58I'll call.
20:16Mr
20:18Ah Robertson, here.
20:20ha ha ha
20:28Oh
20:29Oh
20:30Oh
20:30Oh, my God.
21:02Fuck.
21:12Hey, you said South of here?
21:14Uh, yeah, South of here.
21:16Um, hey.
21:17Okay, stay there.
21:19Wait, Benjamin.
21:29Fuck.
21:33That's what you are.
21:40You are my sweet friend.
21:46You are...
21:48You are my sweet friend.
22:00You are my sweet friend.
22:05You are my sweet friend.
22:28I am my sweet friend.
22:42You are my sweet friend.
22:56I'm sure he's the one.
23:13Hey, they're coming to rescue your baby.
23:32What the fuck?
24:04What the fuck?
24:39Oh, my God.
24:42Fucking damn it.
24:45Fuck.
24:48Oh, my God.
24:49Sorry.
24:50You scared me.
24:51Is the baby okay?
24:52Oh, yeah.
24:53The family came back.
24:54What the fuck?
24:56You're bleeding.
24:57What happened?
24:58So, they thought I was trying to steal their baby, and the guy punched me in the face.
25:02What?
25:02Yeah, they pulled over to get some fresh air because she was car sick, and then I guess
25:06they went for a walk.
25:07And what?
25:08And left their baby in the car?
25:09Yeah.
25:10What?
25:11Is that not fucking psychotic?
25:13Let me see.
25:14Oh, man.
25:15Oh, you had such a nice face.
25:17Yeah, they were really apologetic.
25:20They felt like we did the right thing.
25:21Okay.
25:22I'm so glad that they felt that way.
25:24Wait, wait.
25:24Should we wait for the cops?
25:29No.
25:30No, let's get the fuck out of here.
25:45You okay?
25:46Hmm?
25:47You okay?
25:47Yeah.
25:48It's okay.
26:01What is it?
26:02Uh, code is 0817.
26:04Your birthday?
26:07No pressure, marrying your favorite child.
26:10Stop.
26:11You know they can't wait to meet you.
26:26Whoa.
26:28Yeah.
26:48Your parents' little vacation cabin?
26:52Is it not a cabin?
26:54It's not little.
26:58I don't know if I have a concussion or something.
27:00God.
27:05Okay.
27:07You ready?
27:18Holy shit.
27:24This is insane.
27:32Oh, God.
27:36Yeah.
27:36What is...
27:37Um, it's like a tradition of the family dogs.
27:46Oh, it's actually...
27:48We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes
27:50because it was considered, like, disrespectful to do
27:53after they were dead.
27:55How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
27:58Just my dad said that they could see.
28:00I just looked them in the eyes, so...
28:03Why am I in trouble?
28:04Well, I guess we'll find out.
28:06I don't know.
28:20I don't know.
28:29I don't know.
28:33You've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait
28:37guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
28:39Oh, yeah.
28:40Did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
28:43Oh, yeah.
28:44My sister demanded it.
28:47That's...
28:48fucking weird.
28:49Yeah.
28:55This is the love cave.
28:58The love cave?
28:59Yeah.
29:00Yeah.
29:17Ow!
29:29Was this a family pet, too?
29:32Oh, no.
29:34My great-grandmother, Elizabeth, was killed by a bear.
29:39And her husband died trying to avenge her death.
29:43Wow.
29:44Yeah.
29:46Would you do that for me?
29:49Of course.
29:50Oh, careful, careful.
29:52Sorry.
29:53Yeah.
29:53Sorry.
29:54You're good.
29:55I could, um, get you some eyes for your face, or I could, you know, just call the letter.
30:02Oh, he's off at 10.
30:07Oh.
30:08I'm just kidding.
30:09Are you sure?
30:10I can get it.
30:11I got it.
30:12Just tell me where it is.
30:13All right, I'll get the bags from the car.
30:15Kitchen, it's, uh, down the atrium.
30:19To the right of the curb hallway by the front door.
30:22Here?
30:22Yeah.
30:23Right.
30:31Here we go.
30:34Here we go.
30:50Here.
30:53No, I don't put the rules. I put them myself.
30:56Well, you should divorce him and marry me and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta.
31:01What the fuck?
31:02You scared the shit out of me.
31:04Sorry. Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
31:08I can go.
31:09Oh my God, she exists.
31:12There's no such thing as an erupting country.
31:15We're family.
31:17It's your wedding.
31:19Are you excited?
31:21I am excited.
31:23Oh, we were just talking about you and you appeared out of thin air.
31:26I told you I can summon things.
31:28She's not a thing, Portia.
31:30Come meet your new family.
31:34Nellie?
31:35Julie?
31:36Nellie.
31:37Hi.
31:38It's Jules.
31:39Nice to meet you.
31:40I can't believe we're finally meeting you.
31:42It's like you've been avoiding us on purpose.
31:43Oh my God, no.
31:44I was really disappointed when you didn't come to London or an Iceland trip last summer,
31:47but you're scared of planes or whatever.
31:49No.
31:50I was just telling my friend Cindy about how you and Nikki met in an airport.
31:53Oh, so romantic.
31:57You're really cute.
31:59Isn't she cute?
32:00She's very cute.
32:00Oh, let me see the ring.
32:04So pretty.
32:06Nellie, isn't it pretty?
32:07It's pretty, yeah.
32:08So where is Don and Nikki?
32:09He's just unloading the car.
32:11We just got here.
32:12Um, I actually came in here to get some ice for his face because he, um, he got punched
32:20in the face tonight.
32:22Really?
32:23Why?
32:25It's a long story.
32:31You got time.
32:35Um, we were at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and there was, um, like an abandoned
32:42baby in, in a car.
32:45Nikki stayed with the baby.
32:46I went to get help.
32:46And then when I went to this dive bar, there was this like very creepy guy.
32:51What if it was the sorry man?
32:54What's that?
32:59The what?
33:00Did you know there's something evil living in these woods?
33:03No, we're not doing that.
33:05Come on.
33:06I can tell a fucking story if I want to.
33:08I'm done.
33:08Rachel and Sarah.
33:11Good night, Rachel.
33:12Good night.
33:14Watch out.
33:17I'm gonna go.
33:20Rachel.
33:21It's quick.
33:22It's a bedtime story.
33:27Yeah.
33:28Okay.
33:31Okay.
33:32Picture this.
33:33It's a regular winter day, a day just like today.
33:35Jules is like eight and decides to run away because he's dramatic.
33:38I'm a baby, so I don't remember it anyway.
33:40It starts getting dark out.
33:42And baby Jules is all alone in the woods.
33:45You know what's worse than being all alone in the woods?
33:47When you realize you're actually not all alone.
33:53So Jules hears a woman screaming like,
33:56But worse.
33:57He tries to run away from the sound, but no matter what direction he gets, the screams get louder and
34:04louder and louder and louder and louder and louder.
34:09Until he comes face to face with it.
34:13The sorry man.
34:17With his long, sharp, dirty nails, his distended belly, his mouth open in a downturned smile, wailing.
34:28It's awful.
34:31Picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you, and that's what baby Jules sees.
34:34So Jules hides from the sorry man, holding his breath, watching, watching, watching, as the sorry man cuts a woman
34:47open and turns her inside out.
34:53And the whole time he does it, he cries and says, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's
35:03awful.
35:05He's totally deranged and he comes up from hell, stalking these woods, believing his long lost wife.
35:11He's hidden inside another woman.
35:13Like one day he'll slice a woman open and there she'll be.
35:19And the two of them can go back to hell in some fucked up, romantic kind of...
35:27Oh my God.
35:29What is that?
35:36I got you!
35:38I got you both.
35:40Aw, Judy, what's up?
35:43What are you doing up, Judy?
35:46Spying on the girls?
35:48Sorry, poor shit, I couldn't sleep.
35:51Well, this is Rachel.
35:52She's gonna be your new auntie, isn't that exciting?
35:56Aw, it's okay.
35:59No, the sorry man's awoken by the scent of blood, so you just have to avoid bleeding.
36:03You're not on your period, right?
36:07Don't worry.
36:08The sorry man doesn't want little boys.
36:10No.
36:12He prefers brides.
36:14So this is what we say to Auntie Rachel, goodnight.
36:16Good night, sweet bride.
36:18Sweet bride.
36:20Don't let the sorry man see your insides.
36:31Hey, sir, I had to hear that story to get me to this.
36:34It scared us so much when we were kids that our parents put a ban on it.
36:39So you met Jules and Nellie, too?
36:41That's fun.
36:42Are they trying to kill each other with butter knives?
36:44I mean, you don't believe in it, right?
36:47No.
36:48I definitely don't believe in the human skin-wearing monster from hell.
36:55But something happened to Jules in the woods from your kids.
36:59You just came back different.
37:03You don't know what really happened?
37:07That's the story you came back with.
37:10And then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school.
37:14Pretty messed up, right?
37:15I stabbed a guy at the dive bar.
37:18What?
37:19With the car keys.
37:21He was super fucking creepy.
37:24What do you mean?
37:25He kept staring at me, and then he started walking up to me,
37:27and I thought that he was going to hurt me,
37:29but I don't know how to describe it,
37:30but I was like, he was watching me pee.
37:33What?
37:33Are you okay?
37:34Yeah, fine.
37:35It was just...
37:39I don't know.
37:41I do feel sort of like I'm having deja vu,
37:43but, like, not the good kind.
37:44Like, I feel something so familiar,
37:46and I don't know how to describe it except just dread.
37:50Like, when you just know something bad's going to happen,
37:52you just know, and I've been feeling that way,
37:55and more, and more, and more, and more,
37:57since we got here, and then now that we're here,
38:00I just, like, I don't know.
38:02I just, like, I really, I really feel it now.
38:04Hey, come here.
38:04Come here.
38:04Rachel.
38:06Baby, come here.
38:07It's okay.
38:08I'm sorry.
38:10I'm sorry.
38:11I get it.
38:13Hey, I've been feeling it, too.
38:15I've been feeling off.
38:17I completely understand.
38:25Nicky.
38:26Hmm?
38:29Did you tell your sister I didn't come to Iceland
38:31because of a panic attack?
38:33No.
38:34I wouldn't do that.
38:38Then why does she know I'm afraid of flying?
38:41Well, she knows the story of how we met.
38:47I'm sorry.
38:50I'm sorry.
38:51I'm sorry.
38:55I'm sorry.
39:05What?
39:07What?
39:14I have to do the thing.
40:05I have to do the thing.
40:08I have to do the thing.
40:53I have to do the thing.
41:11I have to do the thing.
41:44I have to do the thing.
42:14I have to do the thing.
42:41I have to do the thing.
43:05I have to do the thing.
43:43I have to do the thing.
43:43I have to do the thing.
44:13I have to do the thing.
44:37I have to do the thing.
45:14I have to do the thing.
45:22I have to do the thing.
45:37I have to do the thing.
45:57I have to do the thing.
46:09I have to do the thing.
46:29You are my destiny.
46:35You are my destiny.
47:03You are my destiny.
47:48I have to do the thing.
47:48I have to do the thing.
47:48I have to do the thing.
47:48I have to do the thing.
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