- 12 hours ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me I hate who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm ValleyQueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:14But on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it!
00:01:20This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:49It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's cool!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:30You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, player cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:07Don't do it, Hailey.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:15I got a hot mess energy
00:03:21Oh fuck
00:03:23Now we're even
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken
00:03:26I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy
00:03:39I'm going to make
00:03:41Every classroom
00:03:42Every hallway
00:03:44And every rumor
00:03:45In this school
00:03:46You're a personal nightmare
00:03:48I'm going to make your life
00:03:49A living hell
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl
00:03:55Yeah, idiot
00:03:56I can see that
00:03:59Just met an unhinged person
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you
00:04:04Same
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight
00:04:12Cole, do you need help?
00:04:12I can help you
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him
00:04:18This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael
00:04:21But he's not your Cole
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsay
00:04:24He's not yet
00:04:26Come on
00:04:28Hi
00:04:29I'm Jen
00:04:30And this is Lindsay
00:04:32Hi
00:04:34I'm Haley
00:04:34So nice to meet you
00:04:36You have first day jitters
00:04:37It's totally understandable
00:04:38We want to make sure you feel really welcome
00:04:40And so we'll take you to your locker
00:04:42Come on
00:04:43Okay
00:04:44Let's go
00:04:49There you go
00:04:50Thanks so much
00:05:13You're welcome, new girl
00:05:14Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face
00:05:22Guacamole wizard
00:05:23Wow
00:05:24What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:28Get it back
00:05:29Hold on
00:05:31Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy
00:05:33You should come to Locker 83 right now
00:05:36Send
00:05:36Here
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first, Max
00:05:46At least check on me
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Ah, chill, please
00:05:54No way
00:05:55What is it?
00:05:57Oh, the hell queen goes to the school
00:06:04Please ignore that
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:06:08Send
00:06:13What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You mess with Cole Edmunds
00:06:15And you're going to mess with me
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:18What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow, you really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me
00:06:29Jen is a new girl
00:06:30Wait
00:06:32Is the new girl
00:06:33Valley queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is valley queen
00:06:38Could it be
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy, Cole
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that
00:06:51No chance it's Jen
00:06:52So is it
00:06:54She does look kind of cute
00:07:03Please ignore that
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank
00:07:07What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover
00:07:14Hey there, buttercup
00:07:15Keep walking, Hailey
00:07:17Just keep walking
00:07:18You got a problem with shaving this morning, or?
00:07:22My name's Hailey
00:07:23Well, Hailey
00:07:25I think you, uh
00:07:27You missed the spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:31What a coincidence
00:07:33So did you
00:07:34No
00:07:34Oh, no
00:07:37Oh, I'm sorry
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:41You're just a man-child
00:07:42With follicle issues
00:07:47Whoever ends up with her
00:07:48Must have failed an eye exam
00:08:02I was so relieved to see you
00:08:03Something happened
00:08:05I lost the game
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is
00:08:14Is
00:08:15I want to be with you
00:08:17And you want to be with me
00:08:19As more than just friends
00:08:22Oh, thank God
00:08:24I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:25You're my soulmate
00:08:27Like, I like you so much
00:08:28Okay, well
00:08:29Since we're dating now
00:08:30Um
00:08:31I'm ready to send my photo
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah
00:08:36Get ready
00:08:43Okay
00:08:44No face
00:08:45Just the boobs
00:08:47Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:53All the kids do this
00:08:55You'll love it
00:09:00Ugh, this lighting hates me
00:09:02Come on, Hayley
00:09:03Confidence
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online
00:09:11Okay
00:09:12Yeah
00:09:12That's actually kind of
00:09:14Oh my God
00:09:19Seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:28Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:31I don't think you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:33Get out!
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine
00:09:36Ow!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:42Come on
00:10:15You're helping me
00:10:16Yeah, well
00:10:17I didn't point on it
00:10:18But here we are
00:10:26Excuse you
00:10:27These boobs are for someone else
00:10:28I don't have a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:30That is shocking
00:10:31Yeah, actually
00:10:32And he'd probably kill you right now
00:10:34If you saw me were flirting with me
00:10:35Flirting?
00:10:36Yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:37I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:39Funny
00:10:41Okay, well
00:10:42Can we just pretend this didn't happen
00:10:44And go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me
00:10:49Oh no
00:10:51I love the purple bra, by the way
00:10:53I like it in a weird way
00:10:55I mean, not even my type
00:10:56But
00:10:57You know, power theory
00:10:58I don't know
00:10:59Did you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:12Jen, red alert
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:21Don't be a coward
00:11:22Just send it
00:11:23Jen
00:11:28Oh my god
00:11:30Here goes nothing
00:11:38Still no response
00:11:40Don't freak out
00:11:40He's probably just busy
00:11:46Give it back
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good
00:11:53That I think the whole school should see it
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:57Mm-hmm
00:11:57Got it
00:12:00What are you doing?
00:12:05What are you doing?
00:12:26Oh my god
00:12:30Yo, what's going on?
00:12:31Dude, your enemy's nude
00:12:32Just got put up on the big screen
00:12:34What?
00:12:34Yeah
00:12:49Come on
00:12:50Let's see if these dudes are photoshopped
00:12:54Stop, delete it, please
00:12:56Delete it
00:13:08Oh my brave knight
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:16Oh my god
00:13:17Oh, cool
00:13:18Your enemy's kind of hot
00:13:21Since you're so into slutty photos
00:13:23Why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28Jen, no
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no
00:13:30Jen, stop
00:13:32Get off me
00:13:34Get off me
00:13:36Get off me
00:13:41Get off me
00:13:42Get off me
00:13:43Get off me
00:13:43Get off me
00:13:45Get off me
00:13:47Stop it
00:13:47My school enemy is my allied girlfriend?
00:13:52Get off me
00:13:53Get off me
00:13:53Get off me
00:13:55Stop it
00:13:56Oh my god
00:13:58Oh my god
00:13:59Oh my god
00:14:00Oh my god
00:14:05Hey
00:14:06You okay?
00:14:10Give that to me
00:14:12Give that to me
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jen
00:14:20What the hell, Cole?
00:14:22I thought you'd be happy
00:14:28How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:30Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now if you don't delete it off your phone
00:14:33I'm exposed to what else is fake about you
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse
00:14:38Why are you even defending her?
00:14:39She's the loser who has nude photos for random men
00:14:42Yeah
00:14:43Hey
00:14:44He's got more personality than all of you combined
00:14:45And if you mess with her, you mess with me
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:50Mm
00:14:53Hey, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:56Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone
00:15:00Hey
00:15:00Hey
00:15:00Hey
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole
00:15:06And he said we were enemies
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:14Don't stay up too late, honey
00:15:17Love you, Mom
00:15:19Wait, Mom
00:15:25Do people change?
00:15:27Like
00:15:29Can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance
00:15:54It's up there, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:15:58They're my favorite
00:16:00Noted
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag
00:16:03I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family
00:16:06And keep my scholarship
00:16:08Oh
00:16:09I'm really proud of you
00:16:11And then there's this guy
00:16:12He has this vendetta against me
00:16:14But at the same time, he's super contradictory
00:16:17It's so confusing
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy
00:16:22No, I'm not into this guy
00:16:24I like you
00:16:25Only you
00:16:31I really liked your photo, by the way
00:16:33You did?
00:16:34Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person
00:16:38That sounds amazing
00:16:40When?
00:16:41With?
00:16:41After school, at the balcony
00:16:43I'll bring flowers
00:16:44Deal
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend
00:17:05Stop thinking about Cole
00:17:15Call me, father
00:17:16I heard about you harassing Jen at school today
00:17:19Defending that nobody
00:17:21Haley girl
00:17:22He was not a nobody, dad
00:17:23Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is, Cole
00:17:36Her mother works as a maid at my office
00:17:39That whole family is trash
00:17:41Stay away from her
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley, Cole
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance
00:17:54I hate to make Haley wait
00:17:56But she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is safe
00:18:01You're sick
00:18:04It's called watching out for your future
00:18:11Oh, hi
00:18:13I'm Haley
00:18:15Yes
00:18:16So nice to meet you
00:18:18God
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name
00:18:21But the moment she knows
00:18:22I lose her forever
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers
00:18:28You're so nice
00:18:33Guacamole wizard
00:18:35Fail
00:18:39Guacamole wizard
00:18:40Ew
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic
00:18:45Maybe he's married
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his life video
00:18:52I don't want any more trouble
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch
00:19:02And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich
00:19:12Eat it
00:19:19Call me
00:19:20So you think that you can just humiliate me
00:19:23In front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter
00:19:27So you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:30Guacamole wizard
00:19:30Where are you?
00:19:32Oh, and by the way
00:19:33Nicole's not gonna come save you
00:19:35Because after all
00:19:36He's rich
00:19:37Like me
00:19:42I'm nothing like you
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you
00:19:50Cole again?
00:19:52Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up
00:19:55Cole, we were kidding
00:19:57It's ketchup
00:19:58Pick
00:19:59That bloody thing up
00:20:04Take it, you're gonna record this
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here
00:20:17So I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:20You're gonna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:22And do what I say
00:20:25I will leave Haley alone
00:20:30I will leave Haley alone
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah
00:20:36Let's go
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:43Got it?
00:20:44Let's go
00:20:52Uh, thank you
00:20:55Wow
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just
00:21:04I happen to see you
00:21:06Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:08Yeah
00:21:09My boyfriend actually
00:21:13Well, he
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:20Maybe you gotta do it nice to them
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though
00:21:30So
00:21:31Am I that annoying?
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers
00:21:34Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna's?
00:21:37Because it's not gonna work
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:52He
00:21:53He makes me feel safe
00:21:56You wouldn't understand it, though
00:22:02You don't understand better than you think
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think
00:22:09I see
00:22:11How you touch him like this
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:26No, my
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:33In the game
00:22:35Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you a little slow on the game, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you
00:23:04I can't do this
00:23:07I love my boyfriend
00:23:08And you will never understand that
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and
00:23:13He loves me for who I am
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now
00:23:30Wait, it couldn't be
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds
00:24:03He just wants to play with me
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:14I got into a car accident
00:24:16Really?
00:24:17Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:20He was right
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:24I want to come visit you
00:24:26No, no, you can't
00:24:27I look miserable now
00:24:28You need to see me in style
00:24:30Fine, if you say so
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah, we are
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case
00:25:01Oh, you
00:25:03Oh, me
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:11I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay
00:25:24We'll get to know each other more
00:25:25I'm not that curious about you, actually
00:25:27I'm curious about you, though
00:25:29Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:42Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:53So
00:25:54Are you going to prom?
00:25:56I don't know
00:25:56I don't know
00:25:57I don't know
00:25:58So you have a date
00:26:01Or shall I say a victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:04Me?
00:26:05Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want me
00:26:10You are so full of yourself
00:26:12You can do this on your own
00:26:13Yeah
00:26:16No way
00:26:18It's a self-locking door
00:26:19Really?
00:26:21This woman's going to be back in an hour
00:26:22I'm sure you'll be fine
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:25No, sorry
00:26:26Am I that bad?
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off
00:26:31Don't worry
00:26:32Maybe trust me and do
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually
00:26:36Yeah
00:26:46That was my first kiss
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:52It was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:55And not just bumping lips
00:27:07You're really good at this
00:27:09Why did I want you to regret it?
00:27:11You know
00:27:13We can do more if you want
00:27:29Hey, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think
00:27:32So you want me?
00:27:36I think you know how much I want you
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:45I want you
00:27:50Oh, shit
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh, my God
00:27:59How long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock
00:28:02Are you two okay?
00:28:04Oh
00:28:04Yeah
00:28:05Yeah, we're good
00:28:06We're okay
00:28:07Great
00:28:08Nice
00:28:15You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen
00:28:16What didn't happen?
00:28:18Hey, wait
00:28:19It's just hormones
00:28:21Jake
00:28:23Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:24Relax, I'm not dead
00:28:26Wait
00:28:26Car accident?
00:28:28Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I gotta go
00:28:43Guacamole wizard?
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:50Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers
00:29:03She was in a real car accident
00:29:05According to you, so is guacamole wizard
00:29:07I don't think this anymore
00:29:09Cole, wait
00:29:12Oh, shit
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:19Um
00:29:20We were just chatting
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey
00:29:28I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:31They're your favorite, right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:40They're my favorite
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:55You came to my table, bro
00:29:57And knocked my ball away
00:30:05There it goes again
00:30:06Cole is jealous
00:30:07We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem
00:30:11We don't have a problem
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball
00:30:15And we don't have a problem
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls
00:30:22I have the ball now
00:30:23Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting
00:30:28over Haley?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you
00:30:37that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah
00:30:41Just one little catch
00:30:42You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth
00:30:47All right
00:30:48You have the rest of the period
00:30:49to work on your lab reports
00:30:50If you have any questions
00:30:52I'll be at my desk
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard
00:30:55would feel more like Cole
00:30:57But if he's really Jake
00:30:59then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:01You've literally been staring for five minutes
00:31:03I'm thinking
00:31:04About the report or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a sword
00:31:11Maybe I've known Jake longer
00:31:13No, you don't
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else
00:31:16Stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:18You have no idea
00:31:25Oh my god
00:31:26Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Hailey, someone's here to see you
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute
00:32:01The accident
00:32:02The mozzarella sticks
00:32:03He is Guacamole Wizard
00:32:05So, um
00:32:06What do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I
00:32:11I should feel happy
00:32:12But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:16Hey, can we not?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:22Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude
00:32:26Is that me and my lab partner
00:32:27Have work to do
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me
00:32:29With bad puns
00:32:30Wow
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man
00:32:34Oh
00:32:35That's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh my god
00:32:48Wow
00:32:49He's got really pretty eyes
00:32:56Wait, I can't
00:32:57Colt, put me down
00:32:58Put me down
00:32:59Put me down
00:33:02Don't do that again
00:33:15New couple alerts
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:21You and I
00:33:21We're not that different
00:33:22And if you'd realize
00:33:24And give me a chance
00:33:24I think that we would make a great match
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me
00:33:29To prom
00:33:30I might say yes
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom
00:33:36With me
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom
00:33:39With me
00:33:40We're both hot
00:33:41And we're both rich
00:33:42And our dads have been in business
00:33:44Like, forever
00:33:45So
00:33:46I'll romantic
00:33:47I think I'll pass
00:33:50You're gonna regret this, Colt Edmonds
00:33:55Oh, here they come
00:33:57If I message Corcomole Wizard
00:33:59I wonder if Jake's phone were ding
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:06And the dance list
00:34:09Yeah
00:34:15Um, I'll talk to you later
00:34:16I'll see your own school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah, I'll see you later
00:34:18Bye
00:34:20He's so different
00:34:21Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:26Haley?
00:34:36Jeez
00:34:37God
00:34:43Here, I'll get it
00:34:44Yeah, I think no
00:34:49Oh
00:34:50You're scared of me
00:34:51Seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care
00:34:53I do care
00:34:56Haley, uh
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:17He doesn't even know you
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about
00:35:24Because I pay attention to what you like
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch
00:35:30The first day
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:34Just, just don't go to college yet
00:35:50Move
00:35:52Colt is talking to Haley again
00:35:54Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake
00:35:57Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:00Obviously I do
00:36:01Okay
00:36:01Then break them up
00:36:03Idiot
00:36:04Uh, what do I do?
00:36:07I've got a few ideas
00:36:13Hey, look
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom
00:36:17I promise
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19Really?
00:36:19Like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me
00:36:21Except for Jake
00:36:24And you
00:36:24But you're not asking me
00:36:28Hey
00:36:29Oh, hey, Jake
00:36:30Hey, Hal
00:36:31Um
00:36:32I just wanted to thank you again
00:36:34For
00:36:34The other night
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was
00:36:40So
00:36:42Sexy
00:36:43You're so sexy
00:36:44Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:47Uh, hate to break it to you, asshole
00:36:51But she's my prom date
00:36:57And she's a real tiger in the pep room
00:37:00Oh, shit
00:37:02Oh, shit
00:37:04Come on
00:37:06Oh
00:37:07Oh
00:37:07Oh
00:37:08Oh, my God
00:37:16Oh
00:37:19Stop
00:37:20Stop
00:37:20Stop, guys
00:37:20Stop it
00:37:21Stop
00:37:22Stop
00:37:23What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:27Shit
00:37:28It's Principal Stevens
00:37:29I've got to save Cole
00:37:30I mean, Jake
00:37:31I've got to save Jake
00:37:36Oh
00:37:37Oh
00:37:38Oh, my God
00:37:39Principal Stevens
00:37:40I'm so sorry
00:37:42Haley Roth
00:37:43That's detention
00:37:45After school
00:37:46Don't be late
00:38:02Cole
00:38:03What are you doing here?
00:38:05Can we keep you company?
00:38:07It's the least I could do
00:38:09If you
00:38:09Saved my ass today
00:38:12The locker thing
00:38:12That was an accident
00:38:14Oh, sure
00:38:17So, uh
00:38:18You and
00:38:19You and Jake, huh?
00:38:21No
00:38:23He lied about that
00:38:24I don't know why, though
00:38:26Good
00:38:27You know
00:38:29Father that asshole
00:38:30Every time he looks at you
00:38:31Makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:33Thinking about him touching you
00:38:35Kissing you
00:38:36I could kill him
00:38:40Promise me you won't go to prom with it
00:38:45Okay, fine
00:38:46I won't
00:38:49Because I want to go to prom with you
00:38:54Okay, everyone
00:38:55Let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:04Oh, my God
00:39:05I am so fed up with this
00:39:25Sorry
00:39:27I tripped
00:39:27No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
00:39:30What?
00:39:30But it always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:36They're dead.
00:39:37They're both dead.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:40How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:45Oh.
00:39:46What are you?
00:39:47Are you almost crying?
00:39:49It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:53Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:06What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:09This squirm is burning.
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:11Oh, please. It's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:14Detention. Today after school.
00:40:17Shit.
00:40:29Jake, hey.
00:40:31Oh, uh, sorry. Gotta get to student council.
00:40:36Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:39The rice trick?
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:44You don't know about the...
00:40:47Come on.
00:41:00Hey, um, Ella.
00:41:03It's Emma.
00:41:05Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:06Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:16Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:19We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:23No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:25It means...
00:41:26It means I can't...
00:41:28Can't what?
00:41:32I talked to a friend online.
00:41:34He's really important to me.
00:41:39And...
00:41:39I'm sure...
00:41:41You're really important to him.
00:41:51You know, Cole...
00:41:53If you look past...
00:41:54All that hair gel and...
00:41:57Big ol' ego and...
00:41:58Rich kid for brah.
00:41:59Okay, okay. I-I get it.
00:42:04You're kind of sweet.
00:42:10Hey, look at that.
00:42:12Oh my god!
00:42:13Thank you!
00:42:15Oh my god!
00:42:17You're a miracle worker.
00:42:24Ugh, what is taking so long?
00:42:26You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:28Shut up, Ella.
00:42:29It's Emma.
00:42:31It's Emma.
00:42:37Oh my god.
00:42:45Oh, morning, valley whore!
00:42:48How are things in the castle?
00:42:55Valley whore?
00:42:56What are they talking about?
00:43:12Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:19Oh my god, someone hacked my castle claimers messages.
00:43:23Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:26Yeah.
00:43:27Hey, valley whore!
00:43:28Show him what you really like!
00:43:29Oh my god!
00:43:34Oh my god!
00:43:47Here you go.
00:43:49Here, this is for you.
00:43:54oh do you like what i've done with the place you hacked my laptop oh no it wasn't me it
00:44:01was that
00:44:01kid ella but i definitely got to reap the benefits what kind of incel sex over a video game hayley
00:44:07what are you catfishing this guy no i'm not trying to catfish him hey everyone i think valley whore
00:44:13is a catfish because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:43stop it stop stop
00:44:48i thought i'd send the janitor some time
00:44:54jake hey now's the time tell them tell them what that's your guacamole wizard
00:45:04who's guacamole wizard
00:45:07here you go
00:45:10oh my god did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:14oh sweetie i've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:18what why would you do that oh i don't know cole why do you think i would do that
00:45:25jake is this true have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:31sorry it was nothing personal
00:45:38yeah nothing personal
00:45:41oh
00:45:46all right all right all right enough what in the world is going on here
00:45:51is that a leaf blower that's all him okay well you both have detention so
00:46:01let me get this straight you stole a leaf blower and defaced school property it wasn't school property
00:46:07dad it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets jesus christ how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:13could it be because her father's running for senate colt you think that's what it could be
00:46:17who cares
00:46:18i care and i hear she's got an eye for you so you're taking her to prom
00:46:24what i'm not over my dead body
00:46:27oh because you're like that hayley girl i'm firing her mother right now
00:46:31no no please don't please
00:46:34then you're taking jen to prom max's dad called he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:39you're gonna go and you're gonna ask jen to prom end of discussion
00:46:49come on you big coward message him
00:46:52just do it just do it
00:46:56you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:04i could never think that
00:47:12but i thought you were jake please can't you just tell me now
00:47:15i think i've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:22i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:24if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:37okay
00:47:38you got this hayley
00:47:40just take a deep breath
00:47:42you got this
00:47:43you got this
00:47:47you look beautiful
00:47:51thank you mom
00:48:10hey hayley
00:48:11i'm glad you came you look so pretty
00:48:13hi
00:48:14hey max
00:48:16your house is gorgeous
00:48:18i mean
00:48:18no it's just my parents blood honey
00:48:20you know they're upstairs watching the last of us right now
00:48:22they don't care about shit
00:48:23get drunk girl
00:48:25whoo
00:48:38what are you doing here
00:48:40valley whore
00:48:43looks like the catfish came out of the pond
00:48:45hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:48:48valley whore
00:48:52jen
00:48:53why are you doing this
00:48:54what have i even done to you
00:48:55to me
00:48:56oh i'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:48:59because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:02those are concerning
00:49:03actually i kind of feel a bit of a perv
00:49:06did you know that
00:49:07hayley
00:49:07she's a little pervy princess
00:49:09pervy princess
00:49:13pervy princess
00:49:14pervy princess
00:49:16pervy princess
00:49:17hey
00:49:19let's get pervy tonight
00:49:21leave me alone
00:49:23is there a fire
00:49:24okay we set off the alarm
00:49:38how old
00:50:17Are you... him?
00:50:20Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:23Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:25Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:28No, I'm not.
00:50:29Yes, you are.
00:50:30It's okay.
00:50:31You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:34So you too.
00:50:35This whole time.
00:50:39Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:43Hey, wait.
00:50:47Hey, wait.
00:50:49Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:50You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:54Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:56I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:50:57Then what were you trying to do?
00:50:58I guess you.
00:51:00Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:03I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:06What about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:09What are you...
00:51:18Who is that?
00:51:18No, just the devil.
00:51:23Get in the car.
00:51:26I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:28Get in the car.
00:51:29Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:32Haley.
00:51:33I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:36Hi, Mr. Evans.
00:51:37So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:43Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:45My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:50And that's not you.
00:51:51You will be forgotten.
00:51:53You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:55And your mom works for me.
00:51:57Stay away from him.
00:51:59Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:03Dad, stop!
00:52:04Don't you touch my family.
00:52:06I'll stay away.
00:52:08Haley, come on.
00:52:09You don't mean that.
00:52:12I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:15I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:21I hate everything about you.
00:52:23I hate all of it.
00:52:25I don't want any part of it.
00:52:27So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:31Haley!
00:52:40No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:43Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:46Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:48Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:49I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:53Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:03Hi, Haley.
00:53:04I'm Emma.
00:53:05I know who you are.
00:53:06Right.
00:53:07I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:12So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:15Good as new.
00:53:20Oh, wow.
00:53:22Thanks, Emma.
00:53:23Okay, bye.
00:53:29One down, one to go.
00:53:31You're so cool.
00:53:33I know, Emma.
00:53:34Want to go to prom?
00:53:35Why not?
00:53:38Let's get these lovebirds together.
00:53:44Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:46Hi, Max.
00:53:47And Max's friend.
00:53:48Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:50Cole's grounded.
00:53:52Oh, he is?
00:53:53But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:53:56What can I say, Max?
00:53:58Actions have consequences.
00:54:00Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:03Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:08We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:11Cole, my son, Cole, reviewing budgets.
00:54:15He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:18Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:20And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:22so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:35Go away!
00:54:40Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:43Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:44I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:47Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:49What?
00:54:49What's going on?
00:54:51Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:53You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:54You can be together.
00:54:55Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:00No.
00:55:01I'll tell her myself.
00:55:03Stick me in your car.
00:55:11Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:14Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:16I just need some time alone.
00:55:25Open the door.
00:55:27Wait, what?
00:55:29He's here?
00:55:37It's you.
00:55:39I should have given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:43Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the bitter beginning.
00:55:46My dad threatened off all your mom and I had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:51I was.
00:55:51I got my inheritance.
00:55:53And I can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:09Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:13If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:32Nicole, I love you.
00:56:34You do?
00:56:36Yes, you idiot.
00:56:38I've loved you for months.
00:56:40I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing though because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:46But you're him.
00:56:48You didn't expect her.
00:56:50I, I mean, I, I always hoped it was you.
00:56:55Until you hoped?
00:56:57Yes.
00:56:58I hoped it was you.
00:57:00You were always there for me.
00:57:04You're hot, no?
00:57:06You're really fucking hot.
00:57:11Hey, uh, one of those things I said we could do?
00:57:16You want to go?
00:57:17Yeah.
00:57:21Take my clothes off.
00:57:22You're getting there, don't worry.
00:57:23Mm-hmm.
00:57:24You're just like, oh my God.
00:57:26I'm so real.
00:57:28You're just being on me.
00:57:31I'm so real.
00:57:33You're just being on me.
00:57:44Oh, I'm so real.
00:57:53with me specifically i've only ever had sex with you specifically all right all right that's fair
00:57:59i'll uh i'll take that as a one
00:58:07what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:11oh god no i fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly and i'll just i'll just
00:58:18lost behind it there's always been lust behind it
00:58:23stop it
00:58:27um i think you know if it's prom or not
00:58:35okay but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:40cole are you asking me to prom i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of
00:58:45beat me to the gym oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:49yeah you don't have to ask me twice but i don't even have a dress
00:58:59i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds who would have guessed
00:59:08i thought only the best for my princess where did you get that
00:59:13uh i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:19might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:24of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:30mr edmonds i'd expect you to be here cole are you here cole are you here
00:59:40mr mr you can't just bark into my house like this
00:59:43i see you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:01hey uh you almost done in there you try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:08marriages okay i'm ready
01:00:22what do you think
01:00:26my god hayley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:32uh uh uh i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up
01:00:37for at least 20 minutes 20 more minutes i want 10 deal
01:00:45thank you all for using the prom voting site to catch your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:53and your 2026 prom queen is
01:00:58jen longfellow thank you oh my god thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to me
01:01:08i mean like who else would win right oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:17oh my god that's hailey and cole it was fine
01:01:23sis where's your dad here uh most time that's up no but who cares
01:01:35hell yeah
01:01:39ew literally what the fuck
01:01:41dang language i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess
01:01:46come on everyone say it with me pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:01:58wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:01make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:08hey don't worry daddy if i can't have no one can i'm gonna destroy hayley roth's life is this real
01:02:17jen's crazy
01:02:20who did this who did this
01:02:25what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:30you little shit you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of
01:02:39this petty drama but quite frankly you are the worst and i think it's time that you are expelled
01:02:48from edmunds academy you can't do that i'm the principal so uh yes i can
01:03:02there was no winter chick you lied to me
01:03:12hayley catch
01:03:18oh my princess finally has her crown
01:03:22now all i need is my handsome prince oh yeah no can do all i have to offer is a
01:03:29lowly night with a chip
01:03:30on his shoulder and a awesome sense of humor oh how can i refuse
01:03:41oh no that's my dad
01:03:45we are going home right now you disobeyed me for the last time boy
01:03:50yeah i'm not a boy dad you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family
01:03:56last
01:03:57name yet you can't see i've already become that man
01:04:01and it's because of hayley and you can accept that i'll make my own path and best believe me i
01:04:06can
01:04:08i'll say this it's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:22i am so proud of you
01:04:26i can't have done without you being by my son
01:04:29that was terrifying
01:04:31it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before well so
01:04:35i love you viala queen
01:04:37i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:39oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:41yeah you do
01:04:42oh my god
01:04:43oh my god
01:04:44oh my god
01:04:44oh my god
01:04:45oh my god
01:04:46oh my god
01:04:46oh my god
01:04:46oh my god
01:04:47oh my god
01:04:47oh my god
01:04:47oh my god
01:04:48oh my god
01:04:49oh my god
01:04:50oh my god
01:04:55oh my god
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