- 3 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:11New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe.
00:00:32When are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:33You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:41Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Oh, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:49Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:57Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, scholarship queen.
00:01:03Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:10In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:12I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:18I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it!
00:01:21This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels!
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey!
00:01:59I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my God, he's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:31You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts, buttercup.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:44You were a...
00:02:44Eh...
00:02:45Eh...
00:02:45Eh...
00:02:46Asshole!
00:02:52Alright.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:55Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:08Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:11Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:22Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:26My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:28I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:35You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom,
00:03:45every hallway,
00:03:46and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Close fighting the new girl.
00:03:55Now close leaving the new girl.
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:13Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:32And this is Lindsay.
00:04:34Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:40We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:42And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come on.
00:04:46Bye.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:50There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:00Oh.
00:05:14You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Give it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:33Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:39Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:48At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online love-up?
00:05:52Ah, chill.
00:05:53Please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, the Halloween goes to school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:14What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds, and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:23Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jenna's a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:35Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:40Could it be...
00:06:42Chen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chance it's Chen.
00:06:55So is it...
00:06:56She does look kinda cute.
00:06:58Don't let me know.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there buttercup
00:07:18Keep walking Hayley
00:07:19Just keep walking
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning or
00:07:24My name's Hayley
00:07:25Well Hayley
00:07:27I think you uh
00:07:28You used to spell on your upper lip right there
00:07:33What a coincidence
00:07:35So did you
00:07:36Oh no
00:07:39Oh I'm sorry
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream
00:07:43You're just a man child with follicle issues
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her must have failed in the eyes
00:07:51I was so relieved to see you
00:08:06Something happened today
00:08:07I lost the game I thought I'd never see you again
00:08:10I think it's time we call this what it is
00:08:13And what is this
00:08:15What I think it is
00:08:17Is I want to be with you
00:08:19And you want to be with me
00:08:22As more than just
00:08:23Friends
00:08:23Oh thank god
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything
00:08:27You're my soulmate
00:08:29I like you so much
00:08:30Okay well since we're dating now
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo
00:08:36Wait really
00:08:38Yeah
00:08:38Get ready
00:08:45Okay
00:08:46No face
00:08:47Just the boobs
00:08:49Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool
00:08:53PG-13 nudes are harmless
00:08:55All the kids do this
00:08:57You'll love it
00:09:02This lighting hates me
00:09:04Come on Hayley
00:09:05Confidence
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online
00:09:13Okay
00:09:14Yeah
00:09:15That's actually kind of
00:09:20Oh my god
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:26Don't look at me
00:09:30Don't look at me
00:09:31We're trying to have a Bible are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that
00:09:35Get out
00:09:36Now
00:09:37Fine
00:09:38Ow
00:09:39Damn it
00:09:44Come on
00:09:45What's up?
00:09:49I don't know
00:09:53What's up?
00:10:15What's up?
00:10:17You're helping me.
00:10:18Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31I'm a little boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:38Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:39I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:40My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, and, um...
00:10:54Well, the purple brawl, by the way.
00:10:56I like it in a weird way.
00:10:57I mean, I am my type, but, you know, power theory, or whatever.
00:11:01Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:16Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:24Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:40Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:49You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:12:00Got it.
00:12:03What are you doing?
00:12:29Oh, shit.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:53Let's see if these builds are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop.
00:12:57Delete it, please.
00:12:58Delete it.
00:13:10Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my God.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:23Since you're so into slutty photos, why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30Jen, no.
00:13:31No, no, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop!
00:13:33Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:34Jen!
00:13:35Jen!
00:13:36Jen!
00:13:36Jen!
00:13:37Jen!
00:13:38Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:39Jen!
00:13:40Jen!
00:13:41Jen!
00:13:43Jen!
00:13:54Jen!
00:13:54Jen!
00:13:54Jen!
00:13:55Jen!
00:13:55Let's get to you!
00:13:56Jen!
00:13:56Jen!
00:13:57Jen!
00:13:58Jen!
00:14:09You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me.
00:14:14Jen!
00:14:20Now, give the phone back, Jen.
00:14:22Jen!
00:14:23What the hell, Cole? I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:33Now, if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:41She's the loser who has nude photos for random men.
00:14:46Maybe he's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Haley, are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:19Love you, Mom.
00:15:21Wait, Mom.
00:15:26Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Top day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:13And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time, he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:28Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you going to reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:43When?
00:16:43When?
00:16:43Well, after school, at the balcony, I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Call me, father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today, defending that nobody, Haley girl.
00:17:24He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:37I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:41That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Haley Cole, or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:16I'm Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:18Mm-hmm.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:32Mm-hmm.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:37Fail.
00:18:41Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47Pathetic.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his wife's video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:01We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:22Call me.
00:19:23So you think that you can just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter.
00:19:30So you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:35Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not going to come save you.
00:19:37Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:40Like me.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:01Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:06Pick it up, you're going to record this.
00:20:16Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:20So tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You want to hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:37Got it?
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go.
00:20:54Uh, thank you.
00:20:57Wow.
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happen to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:12My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:16Well, he...
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:22Maybe you got into it nice today.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:28You thought we were enemies.
00:21:31I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:34Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:37Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:39Because it's not going to work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:59You wouldn't understand it, though.
00:22:05You understand better than you think.
00:22:08Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:13I see...
00:22:14Now you touch him like this.
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, no, my boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:36In the game.
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you a little slow in the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:10I love my boyfriend.
00:23:11And you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's smart, and he's kind, and he loves me for who I am.
00:23:19That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:36Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:41There's nothing.
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:53Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:03What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds.
00:24:06He just wants to play with me.
00:24:08But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:15Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:17I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really?
00:24:20Are you okay?
00:24:20You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:26Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:27I want to come visit you.
00:24:29No, no, you can't.
00:24:30I look miserable now.
00:24:31You need to see me in style.
00:24:33Fine, if you say so.
00:24:36So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Oh, yeah, we are.
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:04Oh, you.
00:25:06Oh, me.
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:15I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:24You finished it?
00:25:26It's okay.
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:29I'm a little bit curious about you, actually.
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:36What is he trying to do?
00:25:38It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:41I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:45Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:57So, are you going to prom?
00:25:59I don't know.
00:25:59I'm going to go well.
00:26:00I don't know.
00:26:01So you have a date?
00:26:04Or shall I say victim?
00:26:06Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me?
00:26:08Jealous?
00:26:09No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:13You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:16Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:21It's a self-locking door.
00:26:23Really?
00:26:24Miss Gorman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure she'll be fine.
00:26:26I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:28Okay.
00:26:29Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Don't worry.
00:26:35Maybe trust me to do.
00:26:37We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:49That was my first kiss.
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:56It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:12Why didn't I want you to regret it?
00:27:14You know, we can do more if we want.
00:27:32Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:35So you want me?
00:27:39I think you know much I want you.
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:48I want you.
00:27:53Oh, shit.
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:01Oh, my God.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:04I really need to change this lock.
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:06Um, yeah.
00:28:08Yeah, we're good.
00:28:09We're all good.
00:28:10Great.
00:28:11Good job.
00:28:12Nice.
00:28:14Thanks.
00:28:14Yeah.
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:21Hey, wait.
00:28:22It's just hormones.
00:28:24Jake.
00:28:26Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:28Relax.
00:28:28I'm not dead.
00:28:29Wait, car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:37I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:48Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:53Do I know you?
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Er, he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:07He was in a real car accident.
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:11I can't take this anymore.
00:29:12Cole, wait.
00:29:15Oh, shit.
00:29:20What's up, guys?
00:29:22Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:28Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:31Hey!
00:29:32I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:35They're your favorite, right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:43They're my favorite.
00:29:45He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:51Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57What do you gotta say?
00:29:58Get out of here, bro.
00:29:59You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:08There it goes again.
00:30:10Cole is jealous.
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:13We don't have a problem.
00:30:15We don't have a problem.
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:21Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:25I have the ball now.
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Hayley?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:44Yeah.
00:30:45Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hallie Roth.
00:30:51All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:54If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:05You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:08About the report or about him?
00:31:10Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:12We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:14Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:16No, you don't.
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:28Oh, my God.
00:31:30Is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Hallie, someone's here to see you.
00:31:58Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:01Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute.
00:32:04The accident?
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:07He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:09So, um, what do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:14I...
00:32:14I should feel happy.
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:34Wow.
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:37Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:43Oh, my God.
00:32:44Oh, my God.
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:59Wait, I can't.
00:33:01Colt, put me down.
00:33:02Put me down.
00:33:03Put me down.
00:33:05Don't do that again.
00:33:19New couple alert.
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:31Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:34I might say yes.
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:41Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:44We're both hot and we're both rich.
00:33:46And our dads have been in business, like, forever, so.
00:33:50How romantic.
00:33:51I think I'll pass.
00:33:54You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:34:01If I message Corcamole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:07What should we wear to prom?
00:34:09And the Dean's List.
00:34:19I'll talk to you later.
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:22Bye.
00:34:24He's so different.
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:28I don't think I'll say we're...
00:34:30Haley?
00:34:34Ah!
00:34:37What are you getting?
00:34:39Jeez!
00:34:41God.
00:34:46Here, I'll get it.
00:34:53Oh, you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:56I don't care.
00:34:57I do care.
00:35:00Here we are.
00:35:17Don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:21He doesn't even know you.
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:26That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:33The first day.
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:38Just don't go to promenade.
00:35:42Oh, shit.
00:35:54Move!
00:35:56Cole is talking to Haley again.
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:04Obviously I do.
00:36:05Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08Um, what do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:17Hey, look.
00:36:19Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:21All right, I promise.
00:36:22Yeah?
00:36:23Really, like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:27And you.
00:36:28But you're not asking me.
00:36:31Hey.
00:36:33Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:35Hey, Hal.
00:36:35Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:40The other night?
00:36:42Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:47You're so sexy.
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:50Here, I'm going to...
00:36:51Oh, I hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the bedroom.
00:37:04Oh, shit, look.
00:37:06Oh, shit.
00:37:18Oh, my God.
00:37:23Stop, guys.
00:37:24Stop it.
00:37:25Stop.
00:37:26Stop.
00:37:27What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:31Shit.
00:37:32It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:33I've got to save Cole.
00:37:34I mean, Jake.
00:37:35I've got to save Jake.
00:37:40Oh, my God.
00:37:43Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry.
00:37:46Bailey Rock.
00:37:47That's detention.
00:37:49After school.
00:37:50Don't be late.
00:38:06Cole, what are you doing here?
00:38:09Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do after you saved my ass today.
00:38:15The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:18Oh, sure.
00:38:21So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:27He lied about that.
00:38:28I don't know why, though.
00:38:30Good.
00:38:31You know, father of the asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:36Like, thinking about him touching you, kissing you, I could kill him.
00:38:44Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:48Okay, fine.
00:38:49I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:08Oh, my God.
00:39:09I am so fed up with this.
00:39:23Oops.
00:39:29Sorry.
00:39:30I tripped.
00:39:31No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:33Jet.
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:40They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to guacamole wizard?
00:39:49Oh.
00:39:50What are you?
00:39:51Are you almost crying?
00:39:53It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:08Wait.
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12This squirm is burning.
00:40:14Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please.
00:40:16It's baking soda and water.
00:40:17You're fine.
00:40:18Detention.
00:40:19Today, after school.
00:40:21Shit.
00:40:33Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:36Got to get to student council.
00:40:40Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:43The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:48You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:03Hey.
00:41:05Um, Ella.
00:41:07It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:10Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:20Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:41:23We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:29It means...
00:41:30It means I can't...
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:38He's really important to me.
00:41:43And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:55You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and rich kid for bravo...
00:42:03Okay, okay.
00:42:04I get it.
00:42:08You're kind of sweet.
00:42:13Hey, you look at that.
00:42:16Oh, my God.
00:42:19Oh, my God.
00:42:21You're a miracle worker.
00:42:28Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:30You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:32Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:35Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, valley whore.
00:42:52How are things in the castle?
00:42:54Oh, my God.
00:42:56Oh, my God.
00:42:59Oh, my God.
00:42:59Oh, my God.
00:42:59Oh, my God.
00:43:00Oh, my God.
00:43:01Oh, my God.
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:20Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:24Oh, my God.
00:43:24Someone hacked my castle claimers messages.
00:43:27Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:30Yeah.
00:43:31Hey, valley whore.
00:43:32Show him what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:53Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:44:00You hacked my laptop?
00:44:03Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:06But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:08What kind of incel sex over a video game, Haley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:13No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:15Hey, everyone.
00:44:15I think valley whore is a catfish.
00:44:19Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop!
00:44:49Stop!
00:44:52I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:57Jane!
00:44:59Hey!
00:44:59Hey!
00:45:01Now's the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:04Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're guacamole wizard.
00:45:08Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:11Here you go.
00:45:14Oh, my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:18Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:23Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:34Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal?
00:45:41Oh.
00:45:42Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:55Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:57That's all him.
00:45:58Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:05Let me get this straight.
00:46:07You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:10It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:12It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:14Jesus Christ.
00:46:15How does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:17Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:20You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:23I care.
00:46:24And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:27So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:29What?
00:46:29I don't know, overmind that body.
00:46:31Oh, because you like that Haley girl?
00:46:34I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:36No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:38Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:55Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:09I could never think that.
00:47:16But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:18Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:26I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:41Okay.
00:47:43You got this, Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:46You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:51You look beautiful.
00:47:55Thank you, Mom.
00:48:01Thank you, Mom.
00:48:15Hey, Haley.
00:48:16I'm glad you came.
00:48:17You look so pretty.
00:48:18Hi.
00:48:19Hey, Max.
00:48:20Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:22I mean...
00:48:23No, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:24You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:28Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:32Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here?
00:48:44Valley whore.
00:48:47Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:50Hey, everyone.
00:48:50Let's give it up for Valley whore.
00:48:52Valley whore!
00:48:57Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me, oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community because those little cringy messages
00:49:05on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:08Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:10Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:12She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:14Pervy princess.
00:49:17Pervy princess.
00:49:19Pervy princess.
00:49:20Pervy princess.
00:49:23Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:25Leave me alone.
00:49:27Is there a fire?
00:49:29Okay, reset off the alarm.
00:49:43Paul?
00:49:55Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:50:14no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:50:21Are you him?
00:50:24Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:27Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:30Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:32No, I'm not.
00:50:33Yes, you are.
00:50:34It's okay.
00:50:35You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you two.
00:50:40This whole time.
00:50:43Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:47Hey, wait.
00:50:47Wait.
00:50:53Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:55You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:59Jen was doing just fine.
00:51:00I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:01Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:03I guess you.
00:51:04Obviously, the white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:07I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:10Now what about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:13What are you?
00:51:22Who is that?
00:51:23I don't know.
00:51:24Just the devil.
00:51:27Get in the car.
00:51:30I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:32Get in the car!
00:51:34Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:37Haley!
00:51:38I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:41I'm a strippers.
00:51:41So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:47Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:49My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:54And that's not you.
00:51:56You will be forgotten.
00:51:58You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:59And your mom works for me.
00:52:01Stay away from him.
00:52:03Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:07Dad, stop!
00:52:08Don't you touch my family.
00:52:11I'll stay away.
00:52:13Haley, come on.
00:52:14You don't mean that.
00:52:16I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:19I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:26I hate everything about you.
00:52:27I hate all of it.
00:52:29I don't want any part of it.
00:52:32So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:36Haley!
00:52:45No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:48Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:51Haley, not dad's real love.
00:52:52Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:54I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:57Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:07Hi, Haley.
00:53:08I'm Emma.
00:53:09I know who you are.
00:53:11Right.
00:53:11I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped and ruin your life.
00:53:16So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:19Goodness new.
00:53:24Oh, wow.
00:53:26Thanks, Emma.
00:53:28Okay, bye.
00:53:33One down, one to go.
00:53:36You're so cool.
00:53:37I know, Emma.
00:53:38Want to go to prom?
00:53:40Why not?
00:53:42Let's get these lovers together.
00:53:49Hi, Mr. Edmundsons.
00:53:50Hi, Max.
00:53:51And Max's friend.
00:53:53Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:55Cole's grounded.
00:53:56Oh, he is?
00:53:58But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:00What can I say, Max?
00:54:02Actions have consequences.
00:54:05Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:07Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:13We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:15Cole?
00:54:16My son, Cole?
00:54:18Reviewing budgets.
00:54:20He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:22Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:24We just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:26so we can get back to his very important and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:40Go away!
00:54:44Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:47Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:48I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:51Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:53What?
00:54:54What's going on?
00:54:55Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:57You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:59You can be together.
00:55:00Just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:05No.
00:55:06I'll tell her myself.
00:55:07Stick me in your car.
00:55:15Come on, the wizard.
00:55:18Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:20I just need some time alone.
00:55:29Open the door.
00:55:31Wait, what?
00:55:34He's here?
00:55:42It's you.
00:55:44I was sure you'd given you this to a long time ago.
00:55:48Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:51My dad threatened to follow your mom and I had to wait for a really long time to tell you
00:55:55who I was.
00:55:56I got my inheritance.
00:55:58And I can protect you and your family, so you don't have to choose.
00:56:13Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:17If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard, but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:37Nicole, I love you.
00:56:39You do?
00:56:41Yes, you idiot.
00:56:42I've loved you for months.
00:56:44I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though, because I had to be loyal to him.
00:56:51But you're him.
00:56:53You didn't expect her.
00:56:55I, I mean, I, I always hoped it was you.
00:57:00Until you hoped.
00:57:02Yes.
00:57:03I hoped it was you.
00:57:04You were always there for me.
00:57:08You're hurt, man.
00:57:10You're really fucking hurt.
00:57:16Hey, uh, one of those things I said we could do.
00:57:20You know, I don't.
00:57:22Yeah.
00:57:23Yeah.
00:57:25Take my clothes off.
00:57:26Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:30I'm so real you.
00:57:33Just be on me.
00:57:36I'm so real you.
00:57:39I'm so real you.
00:57:43I'm so real you.
00:57:44Just be on me.
00:57:51so what do you think 10 out of 10 yeah yeah would do again okay sex with sex with me
00:57:58specifically i've only ever had sex with you specifically all right all right that's fair
00:58:04i'll uh i'll take that as a one
00:58:11what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance oh god no i fully expect you to
00:58:18continue to berate me endlessly and i'll just i'm just lost behind it
00:58:24there's always been lost behind it
00:58:32um i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:39okay but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:45cole are you asking me to prom i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to
00:58:50the gym
00:58:51oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:54yeah you don't have to ask me once but i don't even have a dress
00:58:59later
00:59:03i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:07who would have guessed
00:59:12i thought only the best for my princess where did you get that
00:59:19i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:23might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:29of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:35mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:39cole are you here
00:59:41cole are you here
00:59:44mr edmonds you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:47that you're cold you are in big trouble
01:00:06hey uh you almost done in there you try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:14okay i'm ready
01:00:26what do you think
01:00:31my god haley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:37uh-uh-uh i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up
01:00:42for at least 20 minutes
01:00:4420 more minutes
01:00:45we're in
01:00:46deal
01:00:50thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:58and your 2026 prom queen is jen longfellow
01:01:05thank you oh my god thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to me i mean like
01:01:14who else would win right
01:01:16oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:22oh my god that's haley and cole
01:01:25it was fun
01:01:28since where's your dad
01:01:29yes
01:01:33hey uh
01:01:34most 10 minutes up
01:01:36no
01:01:37but
01:01:37who cares
01:01:39hell yeah
01:01:41woo
01:01:43ew literally what the fuck
01:01:45damn
01:01:46language
01:01:47i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess
01:01:51come on everyone say it with me
01:01:53pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:02:02wait wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:07make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:13don't worry daddy if i can't have it no one can
01:02:19i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life is this real
01:02:23jen's crazy
01:02:25who did this
01:02:27who did this
01:02:30what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:35you little skit
01:02:37you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:45but quite frankly you are the worst
01:02:49and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:54you can't do that
01:02:55i'm the principal so uh
01:02:57yes i can
01:03:03i'm the principal so
01:03:07oh my god
01:03:07there was no internship
01:03:09you lied to me
01:03:10oh my god
01:03:15here is a game
01:03:23oh my princess finally has a crown now all i need is my handsome prince oh yeah no can do
01:03:31all i have to offer is a bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder and a awesome sense of
01:03:38oh how can i refuse
01:03:46oh no that's my dad
01:03:50we are going home right now you disobeyed me for the last time boy yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:57you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:04:02yet you can't see i've already become that man and it's because of hayley
01:04:08and you can accept that i'll make my own path and best believe me i can
01:04:13i'll say this it's the most backbone i've ever seen in you cole
01:04:20joy prime
01:04:28i am so proud of you
01:04:31i kind of done with all you being by my son
01:04:34that was terrifying it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before though so
01:04:40i love you balacorn i love you guacamole wizard
01:04:44oh my god i gotta change that username
01:04:46yeah yeah i do
01:04:47oh my god
01:04:50oh my god
01:04:52oh my god
01:04:53oh my god
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