- 1 day ago
Full Episode of Crush Alert! Love Request from My Enemy
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:11New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:20You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe.
00:00:32What are you gonna tell me who you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275.
00:00:41Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:49Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:57Crap, I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:03Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:15but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels.
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58Hey, I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot!
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What are you with me, son?
00:02:22What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:31You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hearts by a cop.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:40I don't know who you are, but you were a-
00:02:43You were a-
00:02:44Eh.
00:02:45Eh.
00:02:46Eh.
00:02:46Eh.
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52All right.
00:02:53I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but-
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:09Don't do it.
00:03:10Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it!
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:26My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:35You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:41I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Close fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Now close leaving the new girl.
00:03:57Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:13Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Come on.
00:04:30Hi.
00:04:31I'm Jen.
00:04:32And this is Lindsay.
00:04:34Hi.
00:04:36I'm Haley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters.
00:04:39That's totally understandable.
00:04:40We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:42And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:45Okay.
00:04:46Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:14You're welcome, new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you catfishing?
00:05:27Some little lonely online gamer boy.
00:05:30Get it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmonds Academy, you should come to locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:39Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:48At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:52Chill, please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, the hair queen goes to the school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:07Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You messed with Cole Edmonds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmonds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:23Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jen is a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:35Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:40Could it be...
00:06:41Jen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Jen.
00:06:55So is it.
00:06:56She does look kinda cute.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:24My name's Hayley.
00:07:26Well, Hayley.
00:07:27I think you, uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:33What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Hell no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her, I must have failed an eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened, uh...
00:08:08I lost the game, I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:10I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is...
00:08:17I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:30Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:34I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:36Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:46No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:49Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:55All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02Ugh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:05Confidence.
00:09:06You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of...
00:09:20Oh my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:26Don't look at me!
00:09:31Shut up her Bible, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out.
00:09:36Now.
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:38Ow!
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:42Damn it!
00:09:44Wrong.
00:09:46I didn't know.
00:09:47I'm done.
00:09:47No.
00:09:55I can't do it.
00:10:02No.
00:10:05No.
00:10:06No.
00:10:06No.
00:10:07No.
00:10:17You're helping me.
00:10:18Yeah, well, I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:28Excuse you.
00:10:29These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:31We're not a little boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32That is shocking.
00:10:34Yeah, actually.
00:10:35And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:38Flirting?
00:10:38Yeah, don't lie to yourself.
00:10:39I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:40My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:42Hmm, funny.
00:10:44Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:48Fine by me.
00:10:51Oh, I know.
00:10:53I love the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:55I like it in a weird way.
00:10:57I mean, I am my type, but, you know, it's our theory.
00:11:01Would you just get out of here?
00:11:11Hopefully, Quacamole Wizard will like it, too.
00:11:15Jen, red alert.
00:11:16Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:23Don't be a coward.
00:11:24Just send it.
00:11:26Jen.
00:11:30Oh, my God.
00:11:32Here goes nothing.
00:11:41Still no response?
00:11:42Don't freak out.
00:11:43He's probably just busy.
00:11:48Give it back.
00:11:49Why?
00:11:49You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:52Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:55Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:58Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:59Mm-hmm.
00:11:59Got it.
00:12:02What are you doing?
00:12:14Oh, my God.
00:12:16Oh, my God.
00:12:20My God.
00:12:21Oh, my God.
00:12:29Holy shit.
00:12:31Uh-oh.
00:12:33Yo, what's going on?
00:12:34Dude, your enemy's new just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:36What?
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:51Come on.
00:12:52Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:57Stop. Delete it, please.
00:13:06Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:18Oh, my god.
00:13:20Oh, cool.
00:13:21Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:23Since you're so into slutty photos,
00:13:26why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30Jen, no.
00:13:31No, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop.
00:13:35Don't go.
00:13:40Get off of me.
00:13:57Stop it!
00:13:58Stop it!
00:13:59Oh my god!
00:14:08Hey.
00:14:09You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me.
00:14:20Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole?
00:14:24I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:33Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:41She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46He's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Haley, are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:01Alright.
00:15:02Haley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:16Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:19Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:29Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:13And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:26I like you.
00:16:27Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:36Are you gonna rooster for Kate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:42When? With?
00:16:44About after school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal?
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:17Call me father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:23Haley girl.
00:17:24He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:31What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:36I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Haley Cole.
00:17:48Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:04You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:15I am Haley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:31You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole wizard.
00:18:37Fail.
00:18:41Guacamole wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47To bet it.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his back video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh no, we're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:02We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:04And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:22Call me.
00:19:23So you thought that you could just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:32Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:34Oh and by the way, Cole's not gonna come save you.
00:19:38Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:39Like me.
00:19:40Yes.
00:19:44I'm nothing like you.
00:19:49Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:53Cole again?
00:19:54Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:57Pick it up.
00:19:58Cole, we were kidding.
00:20:00It's ketchup.
00:20:00Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:06Take her you're gonna record this.
00:20:15Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Haley anymore?
00:20:18Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:19Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:22You're gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:28I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:32I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:37I will leave Haley alone.
00:20:38Got it?
00:20:38Yeah.
00:20:39Let's go.
00:20:41What are you looking at?
00:20:45Got it?
00:20:46Let's go.
00:20:54Uh, thank you.
00:20:57Wow.
00:20:59Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:03Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:05I just...
00:21:07I happened to see you.
00:21:09Were you waiting on someone?
00:21:11Yeah.
00:21:11My boyfriend actually.
00:21:15Well, he...
00:21:17He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:19Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:22Maybe you gotta do it nice today.
00:21:25Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:28You thought we were enemies.
00:21:30I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:33Am I that annoying?
00:21:35Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:37Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Ednaz?
00:21:39Cause it's not gonna work.
00:21:41I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:49I thought that online board cameras make you fall for her.
00:21:55He...
00:21:56He makes me feel safe.
00:21:58You wouldn't understand though.
00:22:04You understand better than you think.
00:22:07Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:12Does he...
00:22:14Now you touch him like this?
00:22:25If you keep staring, I'm gonna think you like what you see.
00:22:29No, my...
00:22:31My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:35In the game.
00:22:38Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:46Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:52Are you a little slow in the game, too?
00:22:55I can see why he likes you.
00:23:07I can't do this.
00:23:09I love my boyfriend, and you will never understand that.
00:23:13He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:16He loves me for who I am.
00:23:18That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:23I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:33Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:36Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:41There's nothing.
00:23:43Cole, who are you?
00:23:47What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:49It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:53Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:57You live such a tough life.
00:24:02What was I thinking?
00:24:04We are from two different worlds.
00:24:06He just wants to play with me.
00:24:07But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:14Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:16I got into a car accident.
00:24:19Really? Are you okay?
00:24:20You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:23He was right.
00:24:24Who?
00:24:25Nobody.
00:24:25Which hospital are you staying at? I want to come visit you.
00:24:28No, no, you can't. I look miserable now.
00:24:31You need to see me in style.
00:24:33Fine, if you say so.
00:24:35So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:38Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:44Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:47Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:03Oh, you.
00:25:05Oh, me.
00:25:07Why is she so lucky?
00:25:09Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:12People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:14I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:17Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:23You finished it?
00:25:25It's okay.
00:25:27We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:28I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:30I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:32Like, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:35What is he trying to do?
00:25:37It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:40I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:45Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:56So, are you going to prom?
00:25:58Yeah, well, I don't know.
00:26:01So you have a date?
00:26:03Or shall I say victim?
00:26:05Are you jealous of me?
00:26:07Me? Jealous?
00:26:08No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:10Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:12You are so full of yourself.
00:26:15You can do this on your own.
00:26:16Yeah.
00:26:19No way.
00:26:20It's a self-locking door.
00:26:22Really?
00:26:23Ms. Gorman's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:25I'm sure you'll be fine.
00:26:25I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:28Okay. Sorry, am I that bad?
00:26:31I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:34Or make me try something new.
00:26:36Mm-mm.
00:26:36We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:39Yeah.
00:26:49That was my first kiss.
00:26:53My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:55It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:10You're really good at this.
00:27:11One day when you regret it.
00:27:14You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:31Anyway, I've been wanting back a lot more than you think.
00:27:35So you want me?
00:27:39I think you know much I want you.
00:27:45Do you want me?
00:27:47I want you.
00:27:53Oh, shit!
00:27:57Anyone in here?
00:28:00Oh, my God.
00:28:02How long have you two been in here?
00:28:03I really need to change this lock.
00:28:05Are you two okay?
00:28:07Yeah.
00:28:08Yeah, we're good.
00:28:09We're okay.
00:28:18You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen?
00:28:20What didn't happen?
00:28:22It's just hormones.
00:28:24Jake.
00:28:25Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:27Relax.
00:28:28I'm not dead.
00:28:29Wait.
00:28:29Car accident?
00:28:31Guacamole wizard?
00:28:37I gotta go.
00:28:46Guacamole wizard?
00:28:47Huh?
00:28:50Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:52Do I know you?
00:28:53No.
00:28:54Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:56Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:58Or he heard something about Cole?
00:29:01You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:04She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:06He was in a real car accident.
00:29:08According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:10I can't take this anymore.
00:29:12Cole, wait!
00:29:15Oh shit.
00:29:19What's up guys?
00:29:21Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:24Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:27Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:30Hey!
00:29:31I just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:34They're your favorite.
00:29:36Right?
00:29:38How did you know that?
00:29:40Tough day, huh?
00:29:41There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:43They're my favorite.
00:29:44He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:47Could he?
00:29:53The truth is, um...
00:29:54A dickhead?
00:29:57Would you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:58You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:08There it goes again.
00:30:09Cole is jealous.
00:30:11We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:12We don't have a problem.
00:30:14We don't have a problem.
00:30:16Right?
00:30:17Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:20Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:24I have the ball now.
00:30:26Can we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:30Cole and Jake are fighting over Hailey?
00:30:33Maybe I can use that.
00:30:37Jake!
00:30:38Hey!
00:30:39What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:43Wait, seriously?
00:30:43Yeah.
00:30:44Just one little catch.
00:30:46You have to pretend to like Hailey Roth.
00:30:50Alright, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:53If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:57I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:31:01But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:05You've literally been staring for five minutes.
00:31:07I'm thinking.
00:31:07About the report or about him?
00:31:09Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:11We literally made out of a sore dream.
00:31:14Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:16No, you don't.
00:31:17How do you know that?
00:31:18You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:20Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:22You have no idea.
00:31:28Oh my god, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:44Hailey, someone's here to see you.
00:31:57Are you asking me to prom?
00:32:00Too cheesy?
00:32:02No, it's cute.
00:32:04The accident?
00:32:05The mozzarella sticks?
00:32:06He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:08So, um, what do you think?
00:32:11You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:13I...
00:32:14I should feel happy.
00:32:16But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:19Hey, can we not?
00:32:24Hey, can we not?
00:32:26Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:28My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:31And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:33Wow.
00:32:35That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:37Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:39Is this weak shit?
00:32:42Oh my god!
00:32:51Wow.
00:32:52He's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:59Wait, I can't.
00:33:00Colt, put me down.
00:33:01Put me down.
00:33:02Put me down.
00:33:05Don't do that again.
00:33:18New couple alert.
00:33:21Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:22Why do you hate me so much, Cole?
00:33:24You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:26And if you'd realize and give me a chance, I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:30Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:33I don't know.
00:33:33I might say yes.
00:33:36Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:43We're both hot and we're both rich.
00:33:46And our dads have been in business, like, forever, so...
00:33:50How romantic.
00:33:50I think I'll pass.
00:33:53You're gonna regret this, Cole Edmonds.
00:33:58Oh, here they come.
00:34:00If I message Corkamole Wizard, I wonder if Jake's phone will ding.
00:34:06What should we wear to prom?
00:34:08He's gonna roll and the Dean's List.
00:34:11He's gonna roll and the Dean's List.
00:34:18Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:20I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:21Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:22Bye.
00:34:23He's so different.
00:34:25Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:29Hayley?
00:34:34Ah!
00:34:37What are you doing?
00:34:39Jeez!
00:34:40God.
00:34:46Here, I'll get it.
00:34:52Oh.
00:34:53You're scared of me seeing all the girls on your phone?
00:34:55I don't care.
00:34:56I do care.
00:34:59Hell yeah.
00:35:16I don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:18I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:21He doesn't even know you.
00:35:22And you do?
00:35:23How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:25That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:27Because I pay attention to what you like.
00:35:31Hmm.
00:35:31I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:33The first day.
00:35:35You were watching me?
00:35:37Just...
00:35:38Just don't go to college yet.
00:35:54Move!
00:35:55Cole is talking to Hayley.
00:35:57Again.
00:35:58Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:36:01Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:03Obviously I do.
00:36:04Okay.
00:36:05Then break them up, idiot.
00:36:08What do I do?
00:36:10What do I do?
00:36:11I've got a few ideas.
00:36:16Hey, look.
00:36:19Someone would take you to prom.
00:36:20Alright, I promise.
00:36:21Yeah?
00:36:22Really?
00:36:22Like who?
00:36:23I mean, the whole school hates me.
00:36:25Except for Jake.
00:36:27And you.
00:36:28But you're not asking me.
00:36:31Hey.
00:36:32Hey.
00:36:33Oh, hey Jake.
00:36:34Hey Hal.
00:36:35Um, I just wanted to thank you again for the other night.
00:36:40The other night?
00:36:41Yeah, it was so sexy.
00:36:46You're so sexy.
00:36:47Jake.
00:36:48Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:51I hate to break it to you asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:37:00And she's a real tiger in the peck room.
00:37:03Oh!
00:37:04Oh shit!
00:37:05Oh shit!
00:37:07Come on!
00:37:09Oh!
00:37:10Oh!
00:37:12Oh!
00:37:14Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:15Oh!
00:37:17Oh!
00:37:18Oh my god!
00:37:20Oh!
00:37:20Oh!
00:37:22Stop!
00:37:23Stop!
00:37:23Guys!
00:37:24Stop it!
00:37:24Stop!
00:37:25Stop!
00:37:26What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:30Shit.
00:37:31It's Principal Stevens.
00:37:32I've gotta save Cole.
00:37:34I mean, Jake.
00:37:34I've gotta save Jake.
00:37:40Oh!
00:37:41Oh my god!
00:37:42Principal Stevens!
00:37:43I'm so sorry!
00:37:44Hailey Rock.
00:37:47That's detention.
00:37:48After school.
00:37:49Don't be late.
00:38:06What are you doing here?
00:38:08Can we keep you company?
00:38:11It's the least I could do if you saved my ass today.
00:38:15The locker thing?
00:38:16That was an accident.
00:38:17Oh, sure.
00:38:20So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:25No.
00:38:26He lied about that.
00:38:28I don't know why though.
00:38:29Good.
00:38:31You know, father the asshole, every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:36Thinking about him touching you, kissing you.
00:38:39I could kill him.
00:38:43Promise me you won't go to prom with him.
00:38:48Okay, fine.
00:38:49I won't.
00:38:53Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:57Okay, everyone.
00:38:58Let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:07Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:22Oops!
00:39:27Oops!
00:39:28Oops!
00:39:28Sorry!
00:39:29I tripped.
00:39:30No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:32Jen.
00:39:33What?
00:39:34It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:39They're dead.
00:39:41They're both dead.
00:39:42Oh.
00:39:44How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:48Oh.
00:39:49What are you?
00:39:50Are you almost crying?
00:39:52It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:57Jen, what's going on over there?
00:40:09What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:12This squirman's burning.
00:40:13Mr. Edmonds.
00:40:15Oh, please.
00:40:15It's baking soda and water.
00:40:16You're fine.
00:40:17Detention.
00:40:18Today after school.
00:40:20Shit.
00:40:32Jake, hey.
00:40:34Oh, sorry.
00:40:36Got to get to student council.
00:40:39Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:42The rice trick?
00:40:46Yeah.
00:40:47You don't know about the...
00:40:50Come on.
00:41:03Hey.
00:41:04Um, Ella.
00:41:06It's Emma.
00:41:08Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:09Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:13Okay.
00:41:20Hey, it's going to be okay.
00:41:22We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:26No, it's not just the phone or the laptop.
00:41:28It means I can't.
00:41:31Can't what?
00:41:35I talked to a friend online.
00:41:37He's really important to me.
00:41:42And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:54You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and big ol' ego and...
00:42:01We're just good for bronco.
00:42:03Okay, okay.
00:42:03I get it.
00:42:07You're kind of sweet.
00:42:13Hey, look at that.
00:42:15Oh, my God.
00:42:19Oh, my God.
00:42:20You're a miracle worker.
00:42:27Oh, what is taking so long?
00:42:29You're doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:31Shut up, Ella.
00:42:33It's Emma.
00:42:34Whatever.
00:42:41Oh, my God.
00:42:49Oh, morning, Valley Whore.
00:42:51How are things in the castle?
00:42:58Valley Whore?
00:42:59What are they talking about?
00:43:15Guacamole Wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:19Guacamole Wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:23Oh, my God.
00:43:24Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:26Touch me, Guacamole Wizard.
00:43:29Yeah.
00:43:30Hey, Valley Whore.
00:43:31Show him what you really like.
00:43:51Here you go.
00:43:52Here, this is for you.
00:43:58Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:43:59You hacked my laptop?
00:44:02Oh, no, it wasn't me.
00:44:04It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:05But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:07What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:11What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:12No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:14Hey, everyone.
00:44:15I think Valley Whore is a catfish.
00:44:18Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:47Stop it, stop, stop.
00:44:51I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:56Jake!
00:44:58Hey.
00:45:00Now is the time.
00:45:02Tell them.
00:45:03Tell them what?
00:45:04That you're a Guacamole Wizard.
00:45:07Who's Guacamole Wizard?
00:45:10Here you go.
00:45:13Oh, my God.
00:45:15Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:17Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:22What?
00:45:22Why would you do that?
00:45:24Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:25Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:28Jake, is this true?
00:45:30Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:33Sorry.
00:45:35It was nothing personal?
00:45:41Yeah, nothing personal, huh?
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:47Oh!
00:45:48Oh!
00:45:49All right, all right, all right.
00:45:51Enough!
00:45:52What in the world is going on here?
00:45:54Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:56That's all him.
00:45:57Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:04Let me get this straight.
00:46:06You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:09It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:11It was Jen's cyber boy spreadsheets.
00:46:13Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:16Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:19You think that's what it could be?
00:46:21Who cares?
00:46:22I care.
00:46:23And I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:26So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:28What?
00:46:28I'm not over my dead body.
00:46:30Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:33I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:35No, no, please don't.
00:46:37Please.
00:46:37Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:40Max's dad called.
00:46:41He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:43You're going to go, and you're going to ask Jen to prom.
00:46:46End of discussion.
00:46:53Come on, you big coward.
00:46:54Message him.
00:46:56Just do it, just do it.
00:47:00You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:08I could never think that.
00:47:15But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:17Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:19I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:25I heard that guy, Max, is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:28If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:42You got this, Haley.
00:47:44Just take a deep breath.
00:47:45You got this.
00:47:46You got this.
00:47:50You look beautiful.
00:47:54Thank you, Mom.
00:48:14Hey, Haley.
00:48:15I'm glad you came.
00:48:16You look so pretty.
00:48:17Hi.
00:48:18Hey, Max.
00:48:19Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:21I mean...
00:48:22No, it's just my parents' blood money.
00:48:23You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:26They don't care about shit.
00:48:27Get drunk, girl.
00:48:28Woo!
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:42What are you doing here?
00:48:44Valley whore.
00:48:46Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:49Hey, everyone.
00:48:50Let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:51Valley Whore!
00:48:56Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:58What have I even done to you?
00:48:59To me?
00:49:00Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community because those little cringy messages
00:49:04on your castle game, those are concerning.
00:49:07Actually, I'm kind of a little bit of a perv.
00:49:09Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:10Oh, she's a little pervy princess.
00:49:13Pervy princess.
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:18Pervy princess!
00:49:19Pervy princess!
00:49:22Hey, let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:24Leave me alone.
00:49:26Is there a fire?
00:49:28Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:43Paul?
00:49:46Oh, she's a little girl.
00:49:50Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:01Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:01Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:01Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:02Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:03Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:05Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:06Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:08Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:11Oh, she's a little girl.
00:50:20are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:28him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:35honest
00:50:35about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:52please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:57go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were
00:51:01you trying to do i guess you obviously the wet clothes were just an added bonus i knew i
00:51:07shouldn't have trusted you now what about guacamole was it what are you
00:51:21who is that just the devil get in the car
00:51:29i'm not gonna ask you again cole get in the car thank you just act normal for once and please
00:51:35introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was hi mr happens so you're the
00:51:43scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for you young lady my son
00:51:49is gonna marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you you will be forgotten
00:51:56you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him or i swear to god your
00:52:05mother
00:52:05is fire dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away hey come on you don't mean that
00:52:15i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what
00:52:23you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you i hate all of it i don't want
00:52:29any part
00:52:30of it so cole go with your dad hayley
00:52:44no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this cold patriarch
00:52:50hayley not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable i promised your mother i would
00:52:55make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:06hi hayley i'm emma i know you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped and
00:53:14ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you goodness new
00:53:23oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:32one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not let's get
00:53:42these lovers together
00:53:48hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:55oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:54:03birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because he's uh also the president of the
00:54:11prom committee we're supposed to review budgets today cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never
00:54:19reviewed a budget a day in his life well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have
00:54:24to give
00:54:24him back this school sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable
00:54:29budgetary work
00:54:39go away
00:54:43max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole i brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:50castle claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow what what's going on dude it's your 18th
00:54:55birthday you can tell hayley who you are now you can be together just log into the stupid game and
00:55:01tell the girl who you love you really are no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:14welcome all the wizard mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:28open the door wait what he's here
00:55:41it's you
00:55:43i should have given you this to you a long time
00:55:47hey we have wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:50my dad threatened off all your mom and i had to wait a really long time to tell you who
00:55:54i was
00:55:55i got my inheritance and i can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:13i understand that this changes things if you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:22look i need you to know i love you
00:56:36cool i love you
00:56:38you do yes you idiot i've loved you for months i mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing
00:56:47though
00:56:47you know because i had to be loyal to him and but you're him you didn't expect her i i
00:56:55mean i i always hoped it was you
00:56:59until you hoped
00:57:02yes i hoped it was you you were always there for me
00:57:07you're hot now you're really fucking hot
00:57:11you're really fucking hot
00:57:15hey uh one of those things i said we could do
00:57:19you ever go
00:57:21yeah
00:57:24take my clothes off
00:57:26yeah no don't worry
00:57:49okay so what do you think
00:57:54i'll get sex with sex with me specifically
00:57:58i've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:58:01all right
00:58:02all right that's fair
00:58:03i'll uh
00:58:04i'll take that as a one
00:58:10what is my life now
00:58:12am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:15oh god no i i fully expect you to
00:58:18continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:20now i'll just
00:58:21i'm just lost behind it
00:58:24there's always been lost behind it
00:58:25i'll see you in a minute now
00:58:27stop it
00:58:30um
00:58:31same
00:58:33is it promenade
00:58:35i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:37oh cool
00:58:39but
00:58:39the real question is
00:58:41do you get a date
00:58:44col are you asking me to prom
00:58:46i would have asked you earlier
00:58:48but
00:58:48jay kind of gave me to the show
00:58:50oh god please don't mention his name again
00:58:51i don't want to hear it
00:58:53yeah you don't have to ask me once
00:58:55but i don't even have a dress
00:58:58later
00:59:02i just slept with cole edmonds
00:59:05and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:06who would have guessed
00:59:11i thought
00:59:13only the best for my princess
00:59:15where did you get that
00:59:17uh
00:59:17i might have gotten you a dress
00:59:20on the off chance that you
00:59:23might have wanted to go to prom with me
00:59:24and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:28of course i'll go to prom with you
00:59:34mr edmonds
00:59:35i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:37cole
00:59:38are you here
00:59:40cole
00:59:41are you here
00:59:42shhh
00:59:43fuck
00:59:43mr edmonds
00:59:44you can't just barge into my house like this
00:59:46i see you cole
00:59:47you are in big trouble
00:59:54oh
01:00:05hey uh
01:00:07you almost done in there
01:00:08you try changing into an evening gown
01:00:10in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:12it is
01:00:13okay i'm ready
01:00:24okay i'm ready
01:00:26what do you think
01:00:30my god
01:00:31my god haley
01:00:31you are the most beautiful thing
01:00:33i have ever seen
01:00:36uh uh uh
01:00:37i just hunched over in a car mirror
01:00:39to do this lipstick
01:00:40you're not messing it up for at least
01:00:41twenty minutes
01:00:43twenty more minutes
01:00:44we're in
01:00:45we're in
01:00:45i do
01:00:49thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:57and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:02jen longfellow
01:01:04thank you
01:01:06oh my god
01:01:07thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world sweet i mean like who else would win right
01:01:14oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:21oh my god that's haley and cole
01:01:25it was fun
01:01:27this is what you got
01:01:28this is
01:01:32hey uh
01:01:33most time that's up
01:01:35no
01:01:35but
01:01:36who cares
01:01:39hell yeah
01:01:40woo
01:01:43ew
01:01:43literally what the fuck
01:01:44dang
01:01:46language
01:01:46i am the queen okay
01:01:48she's just a little
01:01:49pervy princess
01:01:50come on
01:01:51everyone say it with me
01:01:52pervy princess
01:01:53pervy princess
01:01:55pervy princess
01:02:00pervy princess
01:02:00wait
01:02:02wait wait wait
01:02:03what are those
01:02:04those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:05make cole edmunds fall in love with you
01:02:09his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:13don't worry daddy
01:02:14if i can't have him
01:02:16no one can
01:02:18i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life
01:02:20is this real
01:02:22jen's crazy
01:02:24who did this
01:02:26who did this
01:02:29what
01:02:30you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone
01:02:34you little skit
01:02:36you know jen
01:02:38as the principal
01:02:39i'm supposed to remain impartial
01:02:41and above all of this petty drama
01:02:45but
01:02:46quite frankly
01:02:46you are the worst
01:02:48and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:53you can't do that
01:02:54i'm the principal so uh
01:02:56yes i can
01:03:06there was no internship
01:03:08you lied to me
01:03:10ah
01:03:10oh
01:03:11oh
01:03:12oh
01:03:12oh
01:03:12oh
01:03:13oh
01:03:16oh
01:03:17oh
01:03:18oh
01:03:18oh
01:03:18oh
01:03:22oh
01:03:23oh
01:03:23My princess finally has a crown.
01:03:26Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:28Oh.
01:03:29Yeah, no can do.
01:03:31All I have to offer is a Bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder and an awesome sense of
01:03:37humor.
01:03:37Ooh.
01:03:38How can I refuse?
01:03:45Oh, no.
01:03:46That's my dad.
01:03:49We are going home right now.
01:03:51Wow. You've disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:54Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:57You talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:01Yet you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:05And it's because of Hayley.
01:04:06And you can accept that or I'll make my own path.
01:04:09And best believe me, I can.
01:04:12I'll say this.
01:04:14That's the most backbone I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:19Joy Pro.
01:04:27I am so proud of you.
01:04:30I can't have done with all you being by my son.
01:04:33That was terrifying.
01:04:35It's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before, though, so...
01:04:39I love you, Galicone.
01:04:41I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:44Oh, my God, I gotta change that username.
01:04:45Yeah, you do.
01:04:46I love you.
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