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00:00We started with ten comedians
00:03It's like the first day of school
00:04and just one rule
00:05do
00:06not
00:07laugh
00:10Are you doing bub alright?
00:11or burp
00:13or squirt sausages at a nice old lady
00:16Oh dear
00:17but one by one
00:19they've cracked
00:20No!
00:21Whoa, snap!
00:23Ten
00:24has become four
00:26I've gotta give you a red card
00:31His eye looks like a grape
00:32in a tumble dryer
00:40Who will go the distance
00:41and be the last one laughing?
00:44Okay, that was definitely a laugh
00:57Oh my hoi
01:06Go Vi
01:17I'm sorry
01:24Don't wear that
01:26I don't like to be denied
01:27so we're gonna go sudden death oh wow okay we've not got much time left if
01:35anyone laughs it's a red card oh what are you doing there Jimmy I've got to go
01:41I've got to be quick hey that's very look at him gun doors doors fuck sake Jimmy as I
02:01live and breathe do you want a hand Jimmy be okay if they didn't laugh at that
02:16they're not gonna for anything no no well you're really happy aren't you I might
02:24just leave that there did you see that I bumped into the door yeah I thought I
02:50started out it was a little panic in your voices you went that was so good god
03:02damn it Bob's gonna get a song is that his laptop yes love song darling yes please
03:17would you join me I'd like to tell you about my true feelings for you
03:26so just relax yeah just wrote a few words for you
03:34you are the love of my life would you one day be my why cause if you would I would
03:46give up the booze
03:48tend to your crops and sterilize your loo both of those things I would do for you
03:57cause you are the love of my life you are the hobbit I adore I'll buy you meat and what's
04:09more
04:11if we were together I'd stop drinking bitter I'd polish your shoes and mend the leak in your shitter
04:20both of these things I would do for you cause you are the love of my life thank you I
04:32hope in some way that helped
04:34it did help yes very moving and I like the way you rhymed bitter and shitter thank you that's I
04:41couldn't think of anything else
04:43I think David Mitchell might be unbreakable David have you ever dropped a Bible onto like a dog or something
04:55not onto a dog you're pretty certain that you've got a good grip when it's a religious text
05:00when I'm carrying a Bible yeah I think you probably do I probably do accord it
05:03favorite shape favorite shape square nine bits of advice nine so they're targeting David
05:12um or try and get your tax bill done early don't smoke uh don't tell people not to smoke
05:23learn to drive I wish I'd learn to drive do you not drive David it's not to live my friend
05:28no
05:28but that wouldn't you know a bit of practice on that wouldn't be a
05:34she went at speed
05:36do you want to have a go Dave?
05:37I mean
05:38quite fun
05:38is it?
05:39yeah it's great
05:40David on a poofet is fun isn't it?
05:41it's good
05:43well that's true you know what I mean
05:44there we go
05:45there he goes
05:48I'm going very tentatively
05:49go through the gap
05:50I can't really steer
05:52right here's Ramesh's rap book
05:55read us
05:56okay let's have a look
05:59come on
06:00right
06:00I think David's playing a good game
06:02he's going to try to take them all out
06:03yeah
06:04it's a lovely treat isn't it?
06:05that's how you dreamed of your rap soon performed
06:08banned from kiss chase this is called
06:11David finding my rap book
06:13I mean even saying the words as a 47 year old father of three
06:16my rap book
06:18please smash me in the face
06:20it was like somebody finding a pair of your skiddy underpants
06:24my romantic struggle started early when I was eight the whole class played kiss chase and I was banned from
06:30participating
06:30do it in a rap way though David
06:32it was in a rap way
06:39my romantic struggle started early
06:42is that more rap?
06:43that was deep rap
06:44yeah
06:44go deeper Dave
06:47David might go
06:48David might go
06:50my romantic struggle started early when I was eight the whole class
06:54it doesn't scan
06:55it's the introduction that's not the actual
06:57you know
06:59the whole class played kiss chase and I was banned from participating
07:02mainly by the kids but the teacher admitted they had their reasons
07:06oh sorry this is just an introductory paragraph to the rap
07:13this makes a lot more sense
07:15go on Dave
07:16kiss chase kiss chase please kiss my face
07:19you'll need to slow down though I'm not good in a race
07:22kiss chase please kiss me although I am smelly
07:24I struggle with B.O. and don't watch under my belly
07:27that was high drop
07:29that was high drop
07:31sorry I'm not taking the blame for that
07:33David Mitchell could read a Kendrick Lamar lyric and ruin it
07:43can I oh I have oh yeah
07:47hello?
07:48oh hi Sam
07:49could you get David to do his Joker please
07:51Vladimir Putin has been assassinated
07:54who?
07:55it's time for David's Joker
07:56my Joker?
07:58I think it yeah
07:59I think they're just
08:00okay
08:00yeah okay
08:01let's go this way
08:03he's got two Jokers
08:05oh my god
08:06this is so exciting
08:08do you want to have a waltz with me Bob?
08:10no
08:10okay
08:15um hello
08:16sorry just before I start
08:18a bit of explanation about this one
08:21I've worked with a lot of stand-up comedians over the years
08:25yeah
08:25but I've never done stand-up
08:27I feel I know you
08:28I thought this would be a very trusting environment
08:31just to try it out
08:33oh no
08:34anyway
08:35just a bit of stand-up comedy from me
08:37please
08:38go for it
08:39go for it
08:39be supportive
08:40absolutely
08:41okay quick reminder if anyone laughs red card
08:46ladies and gentlemen
08:48ladies and gentlemen
08:49he hasn't tried stand-up before
08:51so please give him a big hand
08:54David!
09:01I know what you're thinking
09:03David Mitchell's let himself go
09:09oh
09:10is this thing on?
09:12yeah
09:12fuck
09:13fuck
09:15fuck
09:17um
09:18okay
09:19yeah so
09:20um
09:21I've got it
09:22uh
09:24I went uh
09:25on a dating app the other day
09:28um
09:28as a result of which my wife
09:30uh has left me
09:33uh
09:34in retrospect I
09:35I shouldn't have used her email
09:36but uh
09:39didn't want the spam
09:44um
09:45ah
09:47cats and dogs
09:48um
09:49so cats and dogs
09:52they're
09:53overwhelmingly similar
09:55aren't they?
09:56domesticated mammalian quadrupeds
09:58the lot of them
10:00Bob?
10:01Bob?
10:01Bob's in trouble
10:02so no point in anthropomorphism
10:05no point in anthropomorphism
10:07fundamentally they're the same thing
10:09they live in the house
10:10and they won't try to kill you
10:12oh you know
10:13although there have been terrible
10:14terrible news
10:15let's just
10:15no move along
10:17hmm?
10:18crowd work
10:19um
10:20crowd work
10:22uh
10:25where
10:26where you from?
10:27uh
10:27Middlesbrough
10:28no I'll keep the
10:29where you from?
10:31Middlesbrough
10:31fuckingham?
10:32he said fuckingham
10:35honestly
10:36what a
10:36fucking him where
10:38fucking him fucking him
10:39sure
10:39laughing
10:41that's weird
10:42are you
10:43are you together?
10:44not really
10:45what are you doing with him?
10:50that's going nowhere
10:52um
10:54very close to what I do though
10:57laughing
10:59observational stuff
11:00um
11:01okay so
11:02what about what's the deal with assisted dying who wants assistance dying it's
11:13the last thing you want well what's next assisted stubbing your toe assisted
11:19being late for work assisted stepping on a plug assisted falling over assist what
11:28about assisted being in a traffic jam assisted food poisoning assisted getting a bag back
11:39why do people want assistance dying hmm it's a serious topic
11:48no obviously you're quite right there's um they're in a lot of pain is the bottom line is it's it's
11:53no existence for some people anyway that's all i've got time for um so have a great trip back to
12:01fuckingham you idiots uh thanks you've been a great audience i'm david mitchell good night
12:14that's the closest bob's come yeah definitely it's not out of the woods yet sam's gonna try and finish
12:19him off go on sam i didn't mind that i thought he was all right i enjoyed that very much
12:26he was
12:27good it's extremely funny yeah bright future that was right up my street and he's very good
12:38where are you from middlesbrough fuckingham
12:43you know it's a few wrinkles to iron out but please i can book i can book the o2 i
12:49think no wrinkles
12:50as far as i was concerned what sort of usually tickles your funny bone you should have asked that
12:56six hours ago shouldn't he i like innuendo like a clever innuendo well you're as dry as a divorcee's
13:06martini a what what you're as dry as a divorcee's martini why is it what what's the innuendo there
13:19it's a simile yeah why would a divorcee have a particularly dry martini
13:28do you mean dry as in just sort of dry
13:38can i show you please do dave let's get let's get close i'm a bit worried
13:44what's this what's he got there's a thing on that will put it delicate it's on the bottom
13:52of my back it's changed do you want me to investigate well i've taken it i've taken a picture
13:59i just love your your opinion really i mean
14:05what do you think there's this sort of metallic blue
14:12it's sort of you see the skin around it is disrupted do you want me to have a look well
14:16just
14:16sort of zoom out a bit maybe oh actually no it's fine sorry it's a hot cross bun sorry that's
14:24not
14:24there just it's just hot cross bun sorry this is it this is it you see that's sorry that's just
14:35that's
14:35you see oh oh oh looks to me like you've got uh luncheon meat of the back right yeah yeah
14:49bob immediately spotted it as luncheon meat he's he's got up close with a lot of luncheon meat
14:55he's probably woken up to that view i'm so intimately involved with luncheon meats and spams
15:04that i knew straight away what i was looking at
15:11okay i'm going back in there okay i'll deal with this
15:18okay gotta get in somehow they're gonna go head to head doors
15:22hey who's in hey jimmy he's not so happy sorry uh bob mel please join me on stage for a
15:29head-to-head
15:29challenge we are going to test your knowledge of the animal kingdom what i'll let you to do is look
15:37your partner in the eye it's a game i call nature calls i'd like you to in turn look your
15:45partner in
15:45the eye and make the noise you think this animal makes mel you're to go first
15:53a coquettish bee one moment
16:07okay bob a drunk elephant
16:15hmmm fucking hell
16:23well a mafia boss sheep
16:27bye bye
16:30bye fucking bye
16:40bob's gonna go now they've both got twitches
16:46bobby duck from belfast
16:49no
16:53crack
16:57crack
17:04sounds a bit norwegian to me
17:07he's been there yeah but he's based in belfast he's done the tour
17:13well traveled
17:15i was thinking dutch that was crazy definitely european
17:21great that's more oslo than belfast i'd need more belfast bob
17:25great that's definitely more oslo
17:29great oh my god how can you survive that
17:36okay mel a geordie monkey
17:44what oh oh oh oh
17:48it is very good that is what they sound like
17:52oh that is so crap
17:56bob a cool goat
18:10that's pretty cool mel a flamboyant frog
18:15ribbit ribbit
18:20this is very naughty
18:23ribbit ribbit
18:28ribbit ribbit
18:31uh bob easy one for you a randy dolphin
18:42it's very far away
18:45very far away
18:46can you come a bit closer please
18:49really no no the dolphin
18:53uh
18:53pardon me
19:06well's gone she's gone no no
19:14you'd like to take your seats we'll take a look at the clip
19:17having to do those animal noises at very very close quarters with mortimer i think it was a quick
19:23bark of a laugh it was a bit like that couldn't pull it back and i knew i'd lost it
19:27then
19:28that was extraordinarily fun let's take a look
19:31a bob easy one for you a randy dolphin
19:46it was a laugh
19:47it was fun though wasn't it
19:48it was brilliant i loved that every i don't want to go
19:53i must go you have to go but you've done very very well please come with me
19:57and then there were three thanks mel
20:00we all need you okay guys be strong doors
20:08i thought you were out first you did so well i honestly thought you'd be gone in seconds
20:19you did so well brilliant you were so brilliant i've done something permanent
20:25you're gonna win mel survived the drunk elephant and the duck from belfast
20:30but the randy dolphin got her it's game over for gedroich
20:36you ain't laughing are you sam i don't know what's going on i think i have found his own
20:41but i know what you mean well i guess it answers the question how long does it take
20:45you'll be able to go utterly mad in a room yeah you are the love of my life i will
20:53treasure that
20:53and i'll hold you to it i'm gonna ask everyone who do you think is gonna win
20:58sam sam sam sam sam sam sam everyone's saying sam i'm gonna go david mitchell okay let's restart the game
21:08oh my god this is so far we're off again okay
21:25do you have a special name for a wee that you do if you get up in the night no
21:31no not a special name
21:34oh i'm going for david now but i do one regularly
21:43right could i recommend calling it a chadwick
21:47chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just just chadwicking
22:07i got you with chadwick bob's gone okay
22:19another one bites the dust oh bob no way doors
22:28hey jimmy oh bob take a look could i recommend calling it a chadwick
22:34chadwick's not chadwick yes i'm just yeah just sorry i was chadwick just
22:41just chadwicking
22:49flocking out that's the way to go the champion has been defeated mr mitchell did me did you with
22:57your own chadwick i've got david mitchell talking about his early evening movement i think he just
23:05caught me off guard it just made me laugh now one of you has got more
23:10cards for other people than the other one we've got five minutes remaining if neither of you laugh
23:14in the next five minutes the person who has caused the most laughs will be the winner the laugh assassin
23:19the laugh assassin yeah nice bob come with me good luck lads good luck to you been a pleasure
23:27doors i'll watch you man i think wherever you've been on my life all right yeah sorry then i mean
23:33yeah you did very well again not so bad yeah bronze bronze this time burns yeah that's good
23:40the chat turned to late night wheeze and bob simply couldn't hold it any longer our reigning champion
23:46is out bob mortimer bob come and take a seat over here i've never been in here before it's lovely
24:04nice
24:05it's really lovely to have you thank you let's restart the game i got this killer question i think it's
24:10just
24:11going to do you but i don't want to waste it if there we go david how many emails do
24:20you get uh most
24:21days both are so incapable of an authentic chat aren't they oh it varies maybe 20. promotional or social oh
24:32i
24:32don't get much spam mainly admin this doesn't feel very natural conversation does it no no we're very
24:42different people we are really different people we're different okay and congrats for making it
24:49the final two thank you i think it's nothing to sneeze at you know it's pretty awesome yeah yeah though
24:55likewise yeah you think we've done we've acquitted ourselves well dave might go you know i don't think
25:02sam's going sam is invincible i'm going back in go on jim let's seal the deal come on what would
25:11you do if you were you i don't mind i think the shouting was kind of nice yeah we go
25:15back to the
25:15shouting yeah okay we've got to find a winner doors they can operate that better than that puff
25:27hi guys uh congratulations on making it this far yes please take a seat
25:34as a special treat i've got some uh delicious food for you you can eat as much as you like
25:39but there is a catch you have to feed each other are you happy to do that i'm happy to
25:43do that go for
25:45it i couldn't survive this could you not somebody feeding me no and what's the policy on feeding
25:50frenzies uh we're all in favor of it yeah yeah doors okay oh my god there's so many items there
25:59what would you go for i'd go hand on eclair hand feed eclair i think i think i think i
26:05would go eclair
26:06and then a proper actual mush do you like some squirty cream yeah it's a little bit scott oh sorry
26:20just pop that back in there we go shame to miss it he's got his finger in his mouth that
26:24can't be
26:25good can it i'll have a squirt oh will you ever oh my god i would be howling yeah i
26:35would be out
26:35oh god i don't think harry houdini could escape these eyes the great escape artist that's a great
26:43line i mean it's a bit dated but oh i think that's just the gas
26:51that was like oh sorry sorry david sorry david sorry oh no i can't make it stop sorry don't make
26:57it sexual no no no you do oh david
27:04has it at all got in my beard just a smidgen this is so wrong what are we watching uh
27:13ever seen a
27:14little flick lady in the trap oh i think you'd have to take control of one yeah yeah okay
27:25oh my god
27:32my mouth isn't big enough there's always room for more jelly oh a bit of jelly
27:37good some not even a flicker right hello um you've got to savour it does it taste funny does it
27:45ever
27:46why aren't you laughing then david you need to have some of this jelly it is so good okay
27:51okay we need a really nice big bit there we go big bit here it comes here comes the airplane
27:55oh with
27:56circle in the runway oh here we go oh turbulence we're gonna stay in there this is like cctv footage
28:03of a
28:03nursing home
28:11banana you think so i yeah okay they say they're easier to peel from the counterintuitive ends i read
28:17that in the trades that lean in could have been amusing many hours ago yes but now that part of
28:25me
28:25has died it's gone can i tell you there's one minute to go
28:34eat it
28:36oh
28:37oh is it banana-y it's really good maybe the potassium
28:51if you like me oh yeah i do like you yes
28:56i don't want that because i really like you okay it's starting to become something of a fascination
29:06you want chips now we probably shouldn't have had dessert before yeah as a savoury pudding
29:10they're stone cold go on
29:15you can't like that okay we're going to count down you have 10 seconds remaining 10 okay quick
29:24nine oh my days eight david seven
29:29six this has been such a nice experience five six four how's the chip three
29:53wow amazing incredible
30:01okay it goes to the tiebreaker
30:05what happens whoever's caused the most cards is the winner the most laughs
30:10who's caused the most laughs is it sam or dave okay it's come down to this a tie break
30:19doors hey jimmy gentlemen if you'd like to join me on the stage thank you
30:25thanks very much you've both played an incredible game
30:30one of you will be declared the winner of last one laughing
30:35and i can tell you the person that caused the most laughs today
30:39is
30:43it's
30:44it's
30:44it's
30:44it's
30:52it's
30:53sorry that was just jadwicky
31:02David Mitchell
31:05Thank you very much
31:11We have a winner
31:15Well done
31:17Congratulations, thank you
31:19Let me kiss you on your shoulder
31:23He's so sweet
31:25Now, how do you gents feel?
31:27That was quite insane
31:29Because I think we disappeared into a place
31:31Where there was no laughter
31:33I have to say, for all of the bleakness at the end
31:37I am delighted to win
31:38And I think that shows a want of character in me
31:42But I was very pleased
31:43What was the closest you came to laughing today?
31:46Alan Carr
31:47Just when I would check him out
31:48Sometimes he would really crack me up
31:50I came close quite a few times early
31:53You were both absolutely unbreakable
31:56I kept thinking
31:57This driver was telling me about
31:58We're going up in foster care
31:59And it was like really harrowing
32:01And I've just been thinking about that
32:02To get to this place
32:04Is David Mitchell a worthy winner?
32:06Absolutely
32:07The guy is a pro
32:08Roisin, come through with the others and the trophy
32:12Oh wow
32:16I'm really pleased that David won
32:18He did so much
32:20And on the strength of his singing and dancing alone
32:24I think he deserved it
32:29I've had a lovely day, I loved it
32:32Oh my god
32:34It went to the Mitch
32:36And I think he was very, very flipping solid all the way through
32:40You're entertaining
32:42You're making other people laugh
32:43But you're solid yourself
32:46Absolutely worthy of the trove
32:49Well done
32:50Thank you everyone
32:51He was funny
32:53He was sharp
32:54He was just really good entertainment
32:57So I'm really pleased he won
32:59That was Last One Laughing
33:03Season 2, David Mitchell is the winner
33:05I mean they're all winners
33:06We've had a tremendous time
33:14David's a formidable force
33:16Just because of his wit and his brain
33:17Well done David, nice job
33:19It was just a terrifically funny group of people
33:23I was honoured to be in their company
33:26To be chosen alongside them
33:29It would just genuinely feel
33:31Oh, this is nice
33:34That's our show everyone
33:36Thanks for watching
33:37Good night
34:05We'll see you next time
34:06We'll see you next time
34:07We'll see you next time
34:07We'll see you next time
34:09We'll see you next time
34:12We'll see you next time
34:12We'll see you next time
34:13We'll see you next time
34:13We'll see you next time
34:13We'll see you next time
34:13We'll see you next time
34:14We'll see you next time
34:15We'll see you next time
34:15We'll see you next time
34:16We'll see you next time
34:16We'll see you next time
34:17We'll see you next time
34:19We'll see you next time
34:25We'll see you next time
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