- 2 hours ago
Adults.2025.S01E03 [Full Movie] [English Subs]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:12To be continued...
00:30Oh, hi. How are you?
00:32Oh, my God. How does he know everyone?
00:35Oh, hey, Kurt. Kurt.
00:37Yeah, they're good. They're with me. You can let them in.
00:41Seriously?
00:41I'd hang these up around the neighborhood.
00:46What?
00:48Oh. My. God.
00:51You're kidding me.
00:55How does he know everyone?
00:58When I think backless dress, I really do think Doreen.
01:00You should be wearing this more often.
01:02Anton.
01:04Have you seen this man?
01:06Oh. Oh, him.
01:09Oh.
01:11Wow. Doreen.
01:12Doreen, you have to come see this.
01:13This is crazy. I'm in a poster.
01:16Oh.
01:17It's not exciting.
01:18Doreen, you're going to want to see this, my love.
01:39Is this going to take way longer?
01:42One more second, okay?
01:44No, Samir, I'm not angry at you.
01:46Okay, but I get if you are.
01:48Like, you trusted me and my dumb ass got you in, like, 15 grand of medical debt.
01:52And is it the biggest number I've ever seen in my real life?
01:54Yes, but that's okay.
01:56I have no job.
01:57I'm at rock bottom.
01:59Um, is that the end of the sentence?
02:01But I feel excited, you know?
02:02Like, for the first time in my life, there are no expectations.
02:05I can do anything.
02:06I might buy a vape.
02:07We don't know.
02:08Okay, well, I'm going to get you the money.
02:11No, Samir, you're not going to get me 15.
02:13Yeah, obviously.
02:14It's, I have to.
02:15It's the least I could do.
02:17Okay, we're starting.
02:18We're starting my thing.
02:18So, my thanks to Paul Baker for setting up AirPlay.
02:21Your film studies minor was not in vain.
02:25Thank you, thank you.
02:26Okay, so sexy.
02:27So, to start with your most pressing questions, yes, I met the Bayside Stabber.
02:34And yes, we had a really lovely conversation on the F train.
02:38And yeah, he sent me these texts afterwards, which are, frankly, so nice and non-stabby.
02:42So, let's just take a look.
02:44Um, okay.
02:46Uh, oh, oh, okay, okay.
02:48Who is Brianna Acupuncture Student?
02:51Sorry, sorry.
02:52That's, that's, that's, it's not him.
02:53That's not him.
02:54Who's Leather Jacket Newsies Chorus?
02:56I think it was further back.
02:57Oh, yeah.
02:58Bobby Backpack, what's the story there?
03:00Look for, like, train.
03:02When you don't respond to my text, this, seeing this makes me feel a lot worse.
03:06We have a gorgeous dialogue over text.
03:07I'm so far down in this.
03:10No, you're...
03:12Oh, that's deep.
03:13That's deep.
03:15You're responding to Ghostbusters Librarian, and I don't get a text back.
03:18Oh, shit.
03:19I forgot to return the book.
03:21Anton the Stabber.
03:23Okay, now, this is the Stabber.
03:24Okay.
03:25This is him.
03:25Anton, I miss you already.
03:27You are a light in this world.
03:29The Stabber sent this to you?
03:30Yeah.
03:30What'd you say back?
03:31Just, like, nothing.
03:33Anton, move.
03:34Come on.
03:34Anton, move.
03:35Just move.
03:35Sidestep, please.
03:39I'm serious about making paellas.
03:41This is the season of us.
03:43Oh, my God.
03:43Anton.
03:44What?
03:44You are such a friend slut.
03:47Okay, ow.
03:48No, seriously.
03:48You just have this thing where you have to make people feel like the most important person
03:52in the world, so they fall in love with you, and then you ultimately forget about them.
03:56That is not true, Issa.
03:57Okay, I treasure my people.
04:00You have 400 unread text messages.
04:02No, it's 4,000 usually.
04:04Yeah, it's 4,000.
04:04It's just the zero gets cut off.
04:05Seriously, Anton, you can't just soul bond with every person you meet.
04:09It's not normal.
04:11Uh, why not?
04:11Uh, because some people stop people.
04:14Yeah.
04:14Okay, you guys are being dramatic.
04:15It's not like it's an ongoing conversation.
04:17He's not following up with me.
04:19What?
04:20He just liked it.
04:20What'd he call that?
04:21Okay, so what?
04:23He hearted a message.
04:24And now he's typing.
04:25What?
04:26He's typing.
04:27He's typing.
04:27Block him.
04:28Block him.
04:28He's typing.
04:29Look, see?
04:31And it's gone.
04:32You guys, breathe, okay?
04:34Please, the text went away.
04:35It's all fine.
04:36I promise.
04:38What?
04:38What?
04:39He's calling you.
04:41He's calling you.
04:43What?
04:43He's calling.
04:43What is he doing?
04:44What?
04:45What?
04:46What?
04:47Oh, my God.
04:49You just missed the call, and you cracked my screen.
04:52Oh.
04:59Your call has been forwarded to it.
05:12Cold closet.
05:16Hey.
05:17Yo.
05:17Where's everyone?
05:19I think they all went to the police station with Anton.
05:21Dude, crazy that he knows the stabber.
05:24Is he just always like that?
05:25Like, is he always just so friendly?
05:27Yes, it's a problem.
05:28We think his parents took him to, like, too many dinner parties when he was a kid.
05:31Okay.
05:36Holy fuck.
05:36What?
05:37Oh.
05:38Oh.
05:39You okay?
05:40All right.
05:41Yo.
05:42What the fuck?
05:43Has that been here the whole time?
05:44I don't know.
05:45I guess.
05:45I guess.
05:46I guess.
05:46I guess.
05:47I don't know.
05:47I guess.
05:48I don't know.
05:48This is not...
05:49We're not like a gunny family.
05:49It looks pretty gunny to me, dude.
05:51No, I don't...
05:51You just moved in here.
05:52This is not the vibe of the house.
05:54Okay.
05:55I have actually never seen one in person before.
05:57It makes me want to throw up.
05:58I'm going to fucking throw it out.
05:59We can't throw it out.
06:00Dude, what if the stabber gets it?
06:01No, dude.
06:02We have to, uh...
06:03Oh, we can take it to a buyback.
06:04Yeah.
06:05What's a buyback?
06:06I got a gun store.
06:06You can take the gun to a gun store, and they will buy it back from you for, like, a
06:09chunk
06:10of cash.
06:12We can go together, if you want.
06:15Okay.
06:15Yeah?
06:16Okay.
06:16Okay, great.
06:16Yeah, yeah.
06:17Sweet.
06:17Oh, Jesus.
06:18Okay.
06:18Sorry.
06:23Do you find the police and all, but they, like, need to zhuzh this place up?
06:26It's so depressing.
06:28Yeah.
06:28It's just so...
06:29Yeah, it really glides on the page.
06:31Do you know what I mean by gliding?
06:33Like, it really...
06:34Wait, what the hell?
06:39Oh, my God.
06:41Jailbait?
06:42Who are you?
06:42No, I know, but I told you, I'm trying to explore a little.
06:46Like, okay, I am done with the version of me
06:49who asks boring guys to choke me and then says,
06:52what?
06:52Just kidding.
06:52Like, I want to live my 20s a little.
06:56Is that crazy?
06:57No!
06:58You've arrived.
07:00I'm so happy.
07:01I couldn't agree more.
07:02Seriously, like, you're between jobs.
07:04This is your time to start fucking like your grandchildren.
07:06We'll hear about it one day.
07:08Okay.
07:08Mind wipe?
07:09Yeah?
07:09I do want my grandchildren to think of me sexually.
07:12Gone from my brain.
07:13Never heard it.
07:15Give me your phone.
07:16Okay.
07:17I'm going to put you on field.
07:19This was amazing for my whore phase.
07:21Really?
07:21Mm-hmm.
07:22Before I met Paul Baker,
07:23this is how I met that Brazilian couple.
07:25Oh, Lucas and Sophia.
07:26Yeah, so hot.
07:28And, oh, my God, Joe with the leash.
07:30Joe with the leash?
07:31I know, but don't.
07:32He never walks you.
07:34Hi.
07:35So apparently they want me to give a statement?
07:37What?
07:38Really?
07:39Why must I become embroiled?
07:41Because you are a friend slut.
07:43Because you're a big slutty friend slut
07:44who needs everyone to be obsessed with you.
07:46That's not true.
07:47I don't need you guys to be obsessed with me.
07:48That's because you know we're obsessed with you.
07:50And whose fault is that?
07:52Mr. Evans, we're ready for you.
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55Okay, earrings.
07:56Yes!
07:57Thanks.
07:58I made them myself.
07:59What?
08:00Wow, you and I are going to go to Shark Tank, girl.
08:02Mark Cuban suddenly in.
08:03We're in tears.
08:03I took this class for a while.
08:06Friend.
08:07Slat.
08:09Get back here.
08:10Come on.
08:10Which way, baby?
08:11Ooh, how do you feel about firemen?
08:13Oh, no, sorry.
08:14There's a comma.
08:15How do you feel about fire and also men?
08:18Yeah.
08:22I can't.
08:23Yes, we can't.
08:24No, I can't.
08:24We can't.
08:25We got this.
08:25We can't do anything.
08:26We look like we're fucking J.Crew Columbine.
08:28I don't want this shit.
08:28Okay, just let me talk.
08:30I'll handle this.
08:31Okay.
08:31All right?
08:32Okay.
08:33I'll chill in the fucking grenade aisle.
08:35Okay.
08:35Yeah.
08:38Hey, bud.
08:39Hi.
08:40How are you?
08:40The name's Paul Baker.
08:41It's nice to meet you.
08:42Look, my buddy over there.
08:44My buddy with the flag.
08:45That's him.
08:46He's going through it right now.
08:47He found his dad's shotgun in the old coat closet.
08:50Problem is, he's not a 007 man like yourself.
08:55And so we're just trying to figure out a way to sell his bad boy back to you.
08:58You know, a.k.a. a little buyback.
09:00I'm sure you're familiar, you know?
09:02So what do you say about that one, huh, big guy?
09:04Could you help us out with that?
09:07Why are you talking to me like I'm retarded?
09:11Oh.
09:13No, I wasn't.
09:14No, the.
09:15We actually don't use that word anymore.
09:17Like at all, sir.
09:18I, the cast of Kalee kind of edited that through the power of song, so.
09:22What?
09:23Retarded?
09:24Oh.
09:25My sister's retarded.
09:26Do you got a sister who's retarded?
09:27Just give me one.
09:28One second.
09:29Hey, dude.
09:30We can't do this.
09:31I, I, we gotta go.
09:32What do you mean?
09:32I don't know.
09:33Dude, that, that, that's never happened to me before.
09:34I think that went like.
09:35What?
09:36Bad.
09:36I don't know.
09:38Okay, well, I'm not leaving the gun store with a gun.
09:39We're gonna look insane.
09:40No.
09:40I can't sell it to this man.
09:41I don't, I don't know what.
09:42Baker, you're a charming ass man.
09:44Hmm.
09:45And I didn't want to say this before, but I need this money for Billy.
09:49For medical bills?
09:51Yeah.
09:52Fuck, okay.
09:54Oh, shit, okay.
09:55Okay?
09:56Yeah.
09:56We got this.
09:56Totally, we got this.
09:57You and me.
09:58All right.
10:00Oh, you're just gonna.
10:01I'm just gonna hang out here.
10:03Okay.
10:04Hey, brother.
10:05My man.
10:06Uh, I feel like I condescended towards you before, and for that, I'm very sorry.
10:10I don't know what that was.
10:11I'd be a Canadian thing, but if we could just start over, I'm just trying to sell this
10:15gun back.
10:16I don't know what that was.
10:18What's with the nail polish?
10:20You a fruitcake or something?
10:23Am I a...
10:27No.
10:29No, I'm not a fruitcake.
10:30No, that is, um, no.
10:33Huh.
10:33Because I was gonna say, if you were a little fruity, I'd get your number and buy your gun.
10:40Oh!
10:42Oh, you're...
10:43Okay, yeah.
10:44I am fruity.
10:45I don't...
10:45Yeah.
10:46I personally don't usually describe it like that.
10:48I usually say, like, fluid, mostly, but I...
10:50Yeah, I am a fruitcake.
10:51Are you lying to me right now?
10:52No, sir.
10:53You quibating me?
10:54Quibating me?
10:54No, what is the spectrum of your language?
10:57No.
10:57I...
10:57Hey, Samir.
10:59Samir, tell this guy.
11:00I sleep with men.
11:01I'm...
11:02I'm...
11:03This guy?
11:04No.
11:05This guy.
11:06But if anything, he's homophobic.
11:08No, I'm not.
11:08I'm not homophobic.
11:09I heard you before.
11:10I was like, fruity, what?
11:11Because I haven't...
11:12We don't...
11:13Get the hell out of my store.
11:15Yes, sir.
11:17He sleeps with men.
11:18He does it all.
11:27So, at this point, you and the suspect exited the train and made dinner plans?
11:31Is that right?
11:32Yeah, that's right.
11:33And not just one dinner, but, quote, weekly dinners every Sunday.
11:39No, literally every Sunday.
11:41I don't care if it's Christmas, we are getting dinner that Sunday.
11:46Yeah, that's correct.
11:47And then you exchanged numbers and asked, quote,
11:51Can white people and black people be twins?
11:54Someone called NASA.
11:55I feel like we're literally twins.
11:59Yeah, and what's the question?
12:01Is it normal for you to act this way towards complete strangers?
12:06Uh-huh.
12:07Uh-huh.
12:08Okay, I see where you could get confused there.
12:10So, let me explain.
12:11So, I feel like for the average person in society,
12:14they sort of need to turn on and off.
12:17Right, like on, and then they're off.
12:20And I have this fun little thing where I, um, I don't have that problem.
12:26No.
12:27So, I can really make a deep, close, beautiful bond with anyone, really.
12:32All walks of life.
12:33Yeah.
12:34Which some people might call a friend slut, but I actually call just being a delight.
12:42So, but that's, that's me.
12:44Tell me about yourselves, please.
12:47Okay, so you feel close to this man.
12:51Which?
12:52The perpetrator.
12:53Oh, yes.
12:54Oh my God, you should have said that.
12:55100%.
12:55Yeah.
12:56You have a, a deep, intimate connection with this man.
13:00Yeah, very much so.
13:01Definitely.
13:03Okay.
13:05Bring him in.
13:07Hmm?
13:07Who?
13:07Yes, bring him in.
13:09Get in here.
13:11Come on.
13:14Who are these men?
13:16Which one's the perpetrator?
13:18They're there.
13:19Hmm?
13:20Out of, out of these?
13:21Mm-hmm.
13:24It's just hard when they all look so similar.
13:34Ooh, what about Davis?
13:36He's into foot stuff, bondage, piss play.
13:39Oh, and he's close to his twin.
13:41Aw.
13:44Okay, very close.
13:47Oh, you liked it.
13:48Oh my God, it's a connection!
13:50Can you win, field?
13:51Yeah, you can!
13:52It's the Space Mountain picture.
13:53Yeah, I know, my boobs are just like, up.
13:55I know.
13:55Yeah.
13:56Hmm.
13:58Seriously?
13:59One of the guys on here is going to give you such an insane dick town,
14:03you won't even remember that you're sad, jobless, and in debt.
14:06Hmm?
14:07Mm-hmm.
14:09Hi.
14:10Hey, I'm Anton's friend.
14:11Is he home?
14:12Uh, no, but he should be home any minute.
14:14Do you want to come wait inside?
14:18Hey, put your phone down.
14:19It's happening.
14:20What is?
14:20You're going to fuck this man.
14:22What?
14:24Wow.
14:28I know.
14:29You know your mailbox is really full.
14:30Oh, yeah.
14:32Yeah, we're kind of like saving that for like a weekend project.
14:35Oh.
14:37He's so good.
14:38I know.
14:39You literally manifest.
14:40Yeah, I'm...
14:40Um, do you want to sit down?
14:42Uh, sure.
14:43Please, come on.
14:45Oh, wow, so strong.
14:49Hi, Billy.
14:51Ethan.
14:52So, how do you know Anton?
14:53Oh, uh, he's my best friend in the world.
14:58Yeah, isn't he everybody's?
15:01Um, uh, wine?
15:05Sure.
15:07You know, I want you to feel at home.
15:09I want you to relax.
15:10We also have some weed as well as some PCP that we've been saving for a very special night.
15:14No, I did it once.
15:15I had the most productive night of my life.
15:17Oh, my God.
15:17Hey.
15:18Oh, man.
15:18Hi, sweetie.
15:19Hi.
15:20Oh, hi.
15:21Anton.
15:22Have we...
15:23I'm so sorry.
15:23Have we met?
15:24Anton, it's Ethan.
15:27I don't...
15:27Your friend, Ethan?
15:29Oh, my God.
15:30He does this.
15:31Okay, he makes friends with everyone he needs, but now it's become the whole thing.
15:35Anton?
15:38Is everything...
15:39Okay.
15:40Sorry.
15:41I just have to use the restroom.
15:44Okay, he has a very small bladder.
15:49Absolutely ginormous.
15:51Wait, so where are you from?
15:52Uh, here.
15:54Oh, my God.
15:55Oh.
16:02You ask.
16:03You ask.
16:03I did the last one.
16:04No.
16:05No.
16:05Hi, do you guys want to purchase a shotgun?
16:07Shotgun?
16:08No way.
16:09My friend, big gun, good price.
16:12Don't tell the guy in there about us.
16:15What's up?
16:16Anton wants us to bring home gum.
16:18Hmm.
16:20Yeah, I got some.
16:21Okay, sick.
16:22That would have been, like, a whole thing.
16:26Miss, shotgun?
16:27Oh, fuck.
16:28Oh, fuck.
16:30Sorry.
16:35Tight, tight, tight jacket.
16:37Oh, my God, Billy, look at these offers.
16:39Wow, I love your tattoos.
16:40I was literally thinking about getting one.
16:42Did it hurt?
16:43I don't know.
16:44I didn't really feel pain.
16:46Wow.
16:46Wait, that's so real.
16:50Hey, Billy.
16:51Billy.
16:52Hey, Bill.
16:55Oh.
16:57Oh.
16:58Oh.
16:58That's so real.
17:01Yeah, yeah.
17:02Oh.
17:02Oh, oh, oh.
17:04Oh, oh.
17:06Oh, oh, oh.
17:07Oh, oh.
17:08Oh, oh.
17:09Oh, oh.
17:10Oh, oh.
17:29Right now, girls!
17:30We're gonna be right back, so...
17:32Follow me.
17:36Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
17:38Oh, my God!
17:39Oh, God!
17:40Get in the car! Get into the car!
17:43Oh, my God! Jesus Christ, Anton!
17:44Okay? God!
17:46He's so hot!
17:48I know! Oh, my God!
17:49Anton, what are you doing?
17:50Billy is trying to fuck that guy!
17:51Well, leave me, okay? She's not.
17:52Okay, no, listen.
17:53Hi, we're at 803 Forest Street.
17:55The Bayside Stabber is sitting on my couch.
17:57What are you talking about?
17:59Uh-huh.
18:00Sir, how did they get into your house?
18:02Oh, my God!
18:03What?
18:03I may have let him follow me on Find My Friends,
18:05and for that, I am so deeply sorry.
18:07You have a problem, Anton!
18:08Okay, you might be right!
18:09No, not you. No, please.
18:10No, I feel a connection with you.
18:12Already, yep.
18:12Oh, my God!
18:14Why are you like this?
18:17Anton!
18:19No, no, no, no, he's coming.
18:21He's coming towards us. He's coming towards us.
18:23It's Sunday, man.
18:24We doing dinner or what?
18:25Tell him to leave, Anton!
18:26Seriously, he's a stabber!
18:28You can let him hate you!
18:29Okay, okay, yeah.
18:32Are you guys heading out?
18:33Yes.
18:34I'll come with.
18:35Yeah, totally.
18:36Hop in.
18:37Okay, I'll go around there.
18:37Don't lock the door!
18:39He's getting in the car now, so...
18:40No, I don't want him to get in the car!
18:43Come on, please!
18:44Hey, can you pop the trunk?
18:46Oh, my God.
18:47He's got this bag, and I don't wanna...
18:48Hey, he's not your friend!
18:49You can tell him he's not your friend!
18:50You obviously can't do that, Isa!
18:52Yes, you can!
18:52I believe in you!
18:53We believe in you!
18:54Don't we?
18:55Tell him!
18:56Tell him, Anton!
18:58Tell...
18:59Anton?
19:01Anton.
19:01Anton, what are you doing?
19:02Do not run over this man, Anton.
19:04Do not run over this man, Anton!
19:06No!
19:07No!
19:08No!
19:14What did you do?
19:17Are you crazy?!
19:19Something in me is broken!
19:21I just need to be everything for everyone, and now I just killed a man!
19:28I'm so tired.
19:29I'm so tired.
19:30I'm so fucking tired.
19:31I'm so fucking tired.
19:32I'm so...
19:32What the fuck, dude?
19:35Thank God!
19:36Okay, fucking do it. Just do it.
19:41Hey, um, I...
19:46I don't want to be friends with you.
19:50I'm really sorry.
19:54You could have just said that.
19:58Totally.
20:03Go, go, go, go.
20:04Go, go, go, go.
20:05Police! He's over there!
20:06Move him, officer!
20:07He's standing over there!
20:08I'm so sorry.
20:10What's going on?
20:11Unbelievably sorry about it.
20:12He ran into the alley!
20:14There's a man there!
20:15We got a visual on the baseline stabber.
20:16Taste him hard!
20:18He doesn't feel pain.
20:19Wait, what? That's the stabber?
20:21I know. And Billy almost fucked him.
20:24But it was too much you've asked.
20:26Yeah, way too much.
20:26Yeah. Fucking a stabber is, like, a nine.
20:28You want to start at, like, a six.
20:30Yeah, a six or a five.
20:31Ooh, a five.
20:32Yeah. Yeah.
20:32Yeah.
20:34Give me your phone.
20:36Give it.
20:40Okay. Ready?
20:42Red shirt, tall guy.
20:44Delete.
20:46Michelle elevator.
20:47Delete.
20:47Delete.
20:48Bye, Michelle.
20:50Scarf guy, kind eyes.
20:51Bye.
20:51No, keep.
20:52Keep, kind. He's kind.
20:53That doesn't mean anything.
20:54Delete.
20:56Joe with the leash.
20:56Oh, my God. You know Joe with the leash?
20:57Yeah, but he never walks you.
20:58Oh.
20:59That is correct.
21:00Delete.
21:01Okay.
21:02Wait, so what happened to you guys?
21:04Oh, yeah, what did happen to you guys?
21:05Oh, it's like a...
21:06Don't even worry about it.
21:08Oh, damn.
21:09Okay.
21:10Flight attendant straight?
21:11Delete.
21:12Why would you keep us straight, ma'am?
21:14No, dude, he's hot.
21:15Oh, too bad.
21:16Dude.
21:16Ma'am?
21:17I suddenly...
21:17I almost get stabbed and I become a pro.
21:19That can happen after a traumatic incident.
21:22Oh, Anton, I got your gum.
21:24Yeah, I did.
21:25Yeah, I did.
21:28And I did.
21:33I got a tire, just getting off my feet that day.
21:38I had to walk and run a joint to have a green day.
21:42Yeah.
22:08Haha, good a business.
22:21Wait, so it was here and the only one's going to come watch.
22:23You
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