- 4 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:04Before father left to join the army, he made a promise.
00:10If I die on the battlefield, you can find another man to marry, like the hunter on the edge of
00:15the village.
00:16But that huntsman, Vance, had a crippled leg and a scar that split his face in two.
00:22One punch, they said, could drop a full-grown tiger.
00:25They also said he'd already beaten his first wife to death.
00:29Marrying Mama to him was the same as sending her to die.
00:33Three years later, word came that father was dead.
00:38Grandma and the village elders collected 20 silver coins from Vance.
00:41They sold Mama off.
00:43The news arrived on the day Mama was washing clothes by the river.
00:47Deep winter, the water was thick with floating ice, cold enough to cut bone.
00:52Grandma wouldn't allow her to use hot water.
00:54She said firewood was precious, not for a worthless brat who couldn't produce sons.
01:02I'd haul extra firewood down from the mountain, but it always went straight to Uncle Dale's fire pit.
01:08If Mama or I used so much as one extra stick, Grandma beat us and cursed us for three days
01:15straight.
01:17I tried to help with the washing.
01:20Mama waved me off.
01:21The river's cold, little one.
01:23Go play over there where the sun hits.
01:25It's warmer.
01:26In the dead of winter, midday sun was the only warmth we ever had.
01:31When the laundry was done and we walked home, Grandma and the village elders were already waiting.
01:37They'd been in such a rush, but not enough to walk down to the river and find us.
01:42You take this long, wandering off who knows where, worthless brat.
01:47Roy's barely gone and already your heart's drifting.
01:55The soldiers sent word.
01:56Roy's dead.
01:57You killed him.
01:59Every bit of bad luck he had started when he married you.
02:02He's gone now, so hurry up and remarry.
02:04Don't stay here dragging our family down.
02:06The bundle was small.
02:07Two of Mama's worn out dresses.
02:09Grandma didn't look like she was grieving her own son.
02:12She looked the same as always, like someone had told her the village dog had died.
02:17Mama said nothing.
02:18She just held my hand tighter.
02:22Grandma, can I bring my daughter with me?
02:25Mama wasn't crying much.
02:27She was only worried about me.
02:29See if the huntsman's willing to pay for her.
02:33A girl this size, sell her to a broker and you'd get ten silver easy.
02:38Mama's grip went tighter around my hand.
02:41We both knew.
02:42The moment she left, Grandma would sell me.
02:45She wouldn't keep me a single day longer than she had to.
02:50Mama shouldered her bundle and held my hand.
02:52Grandma and the village elders herded us to Vance's house.
02:55He was inside, sharpening a blade.
02:57The scraping sound never stopped.
02:59His bad leg jutted stiffly to one side.
03:02It couldn't bend.
03:03A scar ran from below his left eye all the way to the right corner of his mouth,
03:07like something had tried to split his face in half.
03:10I stepped behind Mama.
03:12Vance looked us over.
03:15You people forced this woman on me.
03:17Twenty silver is already too much.
03:19Don't push it further.
03:21He clearly hadn't wanted to take Mama, let alone me.
03:24Dead weight she'd dragged along.
03:26My Roy saved your life once.
03:28Now he's dead, and we're delivering this woman straight to your door.
03:31You should be on your knees thanking us.
03:33She wants to bring the girl along as your daughter.
03:36You get a wife and a child all at once.
03:38I'm not asking for much.
03:39Another ten silver and we're done.
03:41Most families earned two or three silver in a year.
03:45Ten silver could buy a full acre of good farmland.
03:48I was not worth that much.
03:52People in the village said he was a silent man.
03:55But when he opened his eyes and looked at you, really looked,
03:58it could stop your heart cold.
04:00Grandma shoved Mama hard.
04:02Mama's thin frame nearly went down.
04:04Mr. Hart, my daughter eats very little.
04:08She can work.
04:09Please, could you give us somewhere to go?
04:12Vance finally looked at me.
04:13A long, unreadable frown.
04:15Mama tugged at my hand.
04:17I dropped to my knees beside her with a hand.
04:21Call him something.
04:22I stared up at Vance.
04:24At the scar.
04:26My lips shook.
04:27Papa.
04:27Vance went still.
04:29The scar looked even more ferocious when his face froze like that.
04:34Grandma's foot can't eat with my back.
04:36Your real father's barely cold and you're already calling some stranger Papa.
04:41Worthless brat.
04:42Just like your harlot mother, heart already belongs to someone else.
04:46She kept kicking.
04:47I lay flat and didn't move.
04:50Didn't make a sound.
04:51That was how it worked.
04:53Stay still.
04:54Let her finish.
04:55And she'd stop.
04:56Mama tried to crawl to me.
04:58One of the village elders kicked her back.
05:00It was always like this in Roy's household.
05:03Mama couldn't save me.
05:04She couldn't save herself.
05:06Enough!
05:07Vance stood.
05:08He went inside.
05:10He came back and threw ten silver coins onto the ground.
05:13This girl is my child now.
05:17I looked up at Vance.
05:19Mama hadn't caught what he said.
05:21I had.
05:22Grandma grabbed the silver and turned to leave.
05:24Vance blocked her.
05:26He demanded a written contract.
05:28Grandma refused.
05:30Vance snatched the silver right back.
05:32No contract.
05:33No silver.
05:34In the end, with the village elders and the village head as witnesses, the contract was
05:40signed.
05:41Both Mama and I became part of Vance's household.
05:44Mama put down her bundle and started working immediately.
05:48If she stayed busy enough, maybe Vance would let me eat more.
05:51Maybe he wouldn't hit me.
05:53Vance's house was plain.
05:55Three main rooms.
05:56A hall in the center.
05:57A bedroom on each side.
05:59Only one bedroom had a bed.
06:01The other was empty.
06:02Mama led me to the woodshed.
06:04The firewood was stacked clean.
06:06The floor was tidy.
06:08Mama shifted some wood and found a board.
06:11She built me a rough bed out of it.
06:14Don't be afraid, little one.
06:21Mama, I'm not afraid.
06:23At Roy's house, it had always been the same.
06:26When Father was home, he'd say I was in the way, always getting between him and Mama
06:31when they were trying for a son.
06:32He'd chase me to the woodshed.
06:34Roy's woodshed was filthier than this.
06:37Rats, snakes, frozen solid in winter, a furnace in summer.
06:42I'd survived all of it.
06:43Mama held me against her chest.
06:45Maybe once I give him a son, things will ease up.
06:49I said nothing.
06:50I'd long suspected Father's cruelty toward Mama had nothing to do with sons.
06:56Mama, why did Father want you to remarry Vance?
07:00Before he left, Father had kept Mama on a tight leash.
07:03Wouldn't let her leave the village.
07:05Wouldn't let her look up when she passed a man.
07:08Grandma would curse her for it, too.
07:11Said she was out there tempting people.
07:13Mama's bitter laugh stayed locked in her throat.
07:18Because Vance was the only one who could pay that much.
07:23She didn't finish.
07:24She didn't need to.
07:26Father had sent Mama here to die.
07:30Father had been planning to sell Mama even before he left.
07:33He knew he wasn't coming back.
07:35He made sure Mama would have nowhere left to go.
07:38I'd worked this out some time ago.
07:40Not because I was clever.
07:41They'd been obvious about it.
07:43The whole village talked.
07:45Not long after we arrived, Vance came back carrying armfuls of thick wooden boards.
07:50He disappeared into the empty west bedroom.
07:53Steady hammering rang out, one blow after another.
07:56Mama stood outside the door.
07:58She wanted to ask where the food stores were so she could start dinner.
08:01But she didn't dare.
08:03After a while, Vance came back out.
08:05He saw us both still standing there.
08:07He frowned.
08:09Something you need?
08:10His voice was rough.
08:11I flinched and nearly stepped back.
08:14But we were alone here, Mama and me.
08:16If I stepped back, she'd be standing by herself.
08:19I held my ground.
08:21I took Mama's hand and stood beside her.
08:23Vance noticed.
08:24Something shifted in his brow.
08:26Mama asked carefully.
08:28I want to ask.
08:30It's nearly dinner time.
08:32If you get the grain out, I can cook.
08:34You've worked hard all day.
08:35You should eat.
08:36Vance frowned harder.
08:38He looked us up and down like we'd said something strange.
08:40Then he pointed at the kitchen.
08:42In there.
08:46The key.
08:49Vance's frown deepened.
08:50He walked over and kicked the kitchen door open.
08:53He looked back at us.
08:55I had the feeling he was asking with his eyes whether we were simple.
08:59No lock, no lock, no key.
09:02Roy's kitchen was always locked.
09:03The grain, the oil, the salt, the eggs.
09:07Everything in locked cabinets.
09:08Grandma would measure out exactly what was needed for each meal.
09:12Set it on the counter.
09:13Then stand there watching Mama cook.
09:15Drop a single grain of rice.
09:17Get a lecture that lasted half a day.
09:19She called us starving ghosts.
09:21Said we never worked.
09:22Only ate.
09:23She was afraid we'd steal food.
09:25Mama and I stepped into the kitchen.
09:27Grain, oil, salt.
09:29All of it just sitting out in the open.
09:32Mama stood there for a long moment.
09:34She glanced toward Vance.
09:36He'd already gone back out.
09:38She was almost afraid to touch anything.
09:40She was afraid she'd cook it wrong.
09:41And he'd come back angry.
09:43Beat her.
09:44Like Grandma.
09:45She was afraid of being accused of stealing.
09:49Eventually, Mama cooked.
09:51The food sat on the table.
09:52The two of us stood in the courtyard.
09:55Neither of us moved toward it.
09:56Vance came back carrying two large wicker baskets.
09:59He saw the food on the table.
10:01He saw us standing there.
10:02His frown deepened.
10:04He washed his hands.
10:05Sat down.
10:06Saw us still standing.
10:07He told us gruffly to sit.
10:09He scooped himself less than half a bowl of rice.
10:13Not enough food.
10:14Cook more tomorrow.
10:16He ate fast.
10:17Loud and efficient.
10:19Finished in minutes.
10:20But barely ate half of what was there.
10:23Done.
10:24He sat sharpening his wood cutting knife.
10:26Watching us eat.
10:27Mama hesitantly filled my bowl.
10:29We ate.
10:30Both keeping our eyes on him.
10:31I noticed it quickly.
10:32When I ate fast, he looked away.
10:34When I slowed down and tried to set my chopsticks down, he frowned.
10:38He was telling me to keep eating.
10:40Mama and I finished every last bite.
10:42Then we sat waiting to be scolded.
10:44We're hit.
10:46Vance put the knife down.
10:48Wash up and get some sleep.
10:49You've worked enough today.
10:53Mama hurried to heat the water.
10:55She waited for Vance to finish washing.
10:57Then, after a moment, washed her own face and hands and feet.
11:02It's the first day.
11:04If I'm clean, he'll find less to resent.
11:06She muttered it while she scrubbed, eyes dim.
11:10I used her leftover warm water.
11:12The heat spread up through my hands and feet all at once.
11:15So this was what it felt like to wash with hot water.
11:18No wonder Grandma and Uncle Dale always demanded extra buckets in winter.
11:22I went to the woodshed for the night.
11:25Mama stopped me at the door.
11:27Cover your ears.
11:28No matter what you hear tonight, don't come out.
11:32Pretend you heard nothing, you understand?
11:34I nodded hard.
11:36I knew.
11:37Once, when Father was hurting Mama, I'd run in crying and begged him to stop.
11:42He'd kicked me so hard I ached for half a year.
11:45This time I wouldn't make a sound.
11:46We both had to survive.
11:48Stay alive.
11:49And there was still hope.
11:50Even if I didn't yet know what that hope looked like.
11:55Then the woodshed door was kicked open.
11:57Vance stood in the doorway holding a lantern, staring at me where I lay in the straw.
12:02I shrank back.
12:04Cold sweat poured down my neck.
12:06Once, Father had come home half drunk in the middle of the night and walked into the
12:10woodshed.
12:11He beat me nearly to death.
12:12He said I was a burden.
12:14My fault he had no son.
12:16My fault he lost money gambling.
12:18That night, Mama grabbed the woodcutting knife and told him she'd take his life.
12:22That was the only thing that saved me.
12:24Vance was stronger.
12:26Could he put me down in three kicks?
12:28But he wasn't drunk.
12:30He wasn't angry.
12:31He reached down and grabbed me under the arms like he was picking up a stray chick.
12:35He carried me into the west bedroom.
12:37Mama was already standing there quietly.
12:39The empty room wasn't empty anymore.
12:42A wide wooden bed stood against the wall.
12:44Worn, but tidy.
12:46Vance set me down.
12:47He turned and walked back to his own east bedroom.
12:50The door closed.
12:52Within minutes, his snoring came through the wall.
12:54Mama and I stared at each other.
12:58That night, we slept restlessly.
13:00But we slept warm.
13:01I burrowed into the quilt and said quietly,
13:04Mama, it's so warm.
13:06I had never been this warm in winter.
13:08Not once.
13:09And I'd eaten dinner.
13:10My stomach was full.
13:12This, I thought, was what being alive was actually supposed to feel like.
13:15Mama stroked my hair.
13:17Little one, you called him Papa today.
13:21Do it again tomorrow.
13:22Keep calling him that.
13:24Okay.
13:25Vance was already a better father than Roy had ever been.
13:29The meals got bigger after that.
13:31And slowly, Mama didn't dare increase the amount all at once.
13:34She added a little each day until she finally understood his appetite.
13:38He ate a great deal.
13:40Roughly as much as Mama and I put together.
13:42But he never once stopped us from eating.
13:44If we ate too little, he'd frown.
13:47He hunted.
13:48Large catches, he sold.
13:49Sometimes he'd bring back a rabbit or a wild chicken.
13:52And he'd have Mama stew it.
13:54He ate half.
13:55The rest went to us.
13:57I had eaten meat three times in my life before that.
14:00This was the fourth.
14:01It was so good.
14:02No wonder Grandma and Uncle Dale had always been so desperate for it.
14:06Mama saved the extra pieces for me.
14:08I ate without thinking, too happy to pace myself.
14:11That night, I woke in the dark with my stomach seizing up in cramps.
14:16I rolled across the bed in pain.
14:18Mama rubbed my belly.
14:20It didn't help.
14:21She ran outside and scraped ash from the bottom of the cooking cup,
14:25stirred it into water, and brought it to me.
14:27I took one sip and vomited everything up.
14:32Vance burst through the door.
14:33One look at me.
14:34He wrapped me in the quilt, hoisted me onto his shoulder, and ran.
14:37Mama stumbled after him.
14:38She didn't say a word.
14:40He ran all the way to the village doctor's house at the edge of the road and kicked the door
14:43in.
14:44The whole household lurched awake.
14:45They started to complain.
14:46Then they saw his face and went quiet.
14:49The doctor checked my pulse, then asked what I'd been eating.
14:52What did she eat?
14:54Ova-aid.
14:55Indigestion.
14:55Nell's been underfed all her life.
14:57Eat this much meat at once and her stomach can't manage it.
15:00She'll be fine.
15:01I'll give her something to bring it up.
15:03Keep her warm, light food for a few days, she'll recover.
15:06She gave me something.
15:07I vomited, loudly, and at length.
15:10The smell filled the whole room.
15:12The doctor's husband muttered from the corner.
15:14Never had good food her whole life.
15:16Body can't handle it when she finally does.
15:17Vance looked at him.
15:19One hard stare.
15:21He retreated to the back room.
15:23I was humiliated, getting sick from eating too much meat.
15:26Just like Grandma had always said, I was a bottomless pit with no sense.
15:32Vance carried me home over his shoulder.
15:34On the way back, he said gruffly,
15:37You've really never had meat before?
15:39I thought he was scolding me.
15:42This was only the fourth time before we only ever got a piece or two.
15:48Grandma had never let us have even the broth.
15:51He made a low sound.
15:53Eat more often enough.
15:54And this stops happening.
15:56I was wrapped too tight in the quilt and didn't quite catch it.
15:59The next few days, I could only drink porridge.
16:02Vance brought back millet.
16:04He brought back brown sugar.
16:06Millet and brown sugar were things only new mothers got after childbirth.
16:10A bowl or two, a little sweetness stirred in.
16:14I was getting a full bowl at every single meal.
16:17I was eating better than Mama had after giving birth to me.
16:21Vance watched me eat every morning until the color came back to my face.
16:25When it did, something in his own expression finally loosened.
16:31He fixed the village doctor's front gate as payment for the house call.
16:34Then he pulled the doctor back to check my pulse again.
16:38Only when she said I was fully recovered did he walk her out.
16:41He said he was going up the mountain to track a big animal.
16:45Might be gone several days.
16:47He told Mama to bake a stack of flatbreads for the road.
16:50Mama kneaded the dough with lard and mixed in brown sugar.
16:53The flatbreads came out golden and fragrant.
16:56She pressed into his hands the thick insoles and padded cap she'd sewn over the past few days.
17:01Vance took the flatbreads.
17:03He looked at the insoles and the cap.
17:05He looked up at Mama.
17:06Something in his eyes went soft.
17:08New year's coming.
17:09When I sell what I catch, we'll go buy supplies.
17:12Think about what you want.
17:14Mama held my hand as we stood at the door to see him off.
17:17His figure moved away from us, uneven but steady.
17:21I couldn't help shouting after him.
17:24Papa!
17:25Come home soon!
17:26Vance stopped.
17:27He didn't look back.
17:28He lifted a hand in our direction.
17:31Go inside.
17:31It's cold.
17:34We waited five days.
17:36He didn't come back.
17:37The cold deepened.
17:38On the fifth day, snow began to fall.
17:41Mama watched the sky go dark.
17:43She looked at me.
17:45She pointed to the food stores and told me to mind myself.
17:48Cook my own meals if I got hungry.
17:50Mama's going to find him.
17:52I'll be back soon.
17:54Take care of yourself.
17:55She changed her clothes and strapped the wood cutting knife to her body.
18:00She found the oil lamp.
18:01I tucked a small sickle under my clothes and followed her out.
18:05Wherever you go, I go.
18:07We'll bring Papa home together.
18:09Vance was my Papa now.
18:11He was a better Papa than Roy had ever been.
18:14I was never going to have a different one.
18:16Mama let out a long breath.
18:18If something goes wrong out there, you standing alone in this house isn't any safer.
18:23Alright?
18:24Together.
18:25We held hands and went up the mountain.
18:27We'd only ever been to the edges, gathering firewood.
18:31We almost never went deeper in.
18:33Wolves in the air.
18:34Wild boars.
18:35Tigers.
18:36But with Mama beside me and the thought of Papa waiting somewhere in that cold, I wasn't afraid.
18:42The snow came down harder.
18:44It was barely past midday, but the sky had gone dark.
18:47Moving through the forest was difficult.
18:50Every step was uncertain.
18:52You'd break through a soft patch and sink to the knee.
18:55Mama pulled me out each time and prodded the ground ahead with a stick.
18:58We hadn't gone far when we heard heavy footsteps in the trees.
19:02Mama raised the wood cutting knife.
19:03I raised the sickle.
19:05We stared into the dark ahead, both terrified.
19:07If we were going to die out here, at least we'd die together.
19:11The footsteps came closer.
19:13A large figure emerged from between the trees.
19:15A tall man with a stiff, lopsided gait, dragging something massive behind him.
19:20A tiger.
19:21We stared.
19:22He stared back.
19:23I let go of Mama's hand and ran.
19:27I threw my arms around his leg and looked up.
19:30The tiger dropped from his grip and hit the snow.
19:33He looked down at me, then up at Mama.
19:35What are the two of you doing up here?
19:36He reached down and grabbed me under the arms, trying to lift me.
19:41His hands had nothing left.
19:42He couldn't manage it.
19:44I held onto his leg.
19:45He came to find you.
19:46I've been gone five days.
19:48The snow started.
19:50I was afraid.
19:53The last time she'd gone out searching for a man who hadn't come home, she'd told Roy
19:58she was worried he'd been hurt.
19:59He'd slapped her across the face, said she was cursing him, said her worrying was the
20:04reason all his bad luck found him.
20:06After that, she stopped saying she worried about Roy.
20:08She stopped worrying about Roy at all.
20:11Vance looked at her.
20:12The corner of his mouth moved.
20:13He wanted to smile.
20:15Years of not smiling seemed to have made him forget how, but he explained.
20:19This one was big.
20:20It took longer than I thought.
20:22Get the fire going.
20:24Start dinner.
20:25A tiger that size.
20:27He must have been dragging it for hours.
20:29He was running on empty, but he didn't ask for help.
20:32He would get it home himself.
20:34Mama stood watching him torn.
20:36She didn't dare disobey, but she wanted to help.
20:39I ran forward and grabbed one of the tiger's hind legs.
20:43Papa.
20:45We'll all go back together.
20:47I wasn't very strong.
20:48And touching that leg, even a dead leg, sent a chill through me that had nothing to do
20:53with the snow.
20:54The tiger was enormous.
20:56Dead as it was, it still looked vicious.
20:59Mama hesitated.
21:00Then she stepped up beside us.
21:03Vance's mouth twitched.
21:05He agreed.
21:08The three of us dragged the tiger back home.
21:11By the time we reached the village, the snow lay thick on the ground.
21:15The whole village was dark.
21:17The lanes empty.
21:18We made it inside at last.
21:20The tiger lay in the yard, half buried in white, still looking dangerous.
21:25I wasn't afraid of it anymore.
21:27I circled it a few times just to prove it, then ran back and pressed myself against Papa's
21:31leg.
21:32Papa's so strong.
21:34He killed a tiger all by himself.
21:37Vance was too exhausted to move.
21:39But he reached down and rested his hand on top of my head.
21:44His hand was huge and rough and heavy.
21:47But when it rested on my head, it was light.
21:50It was warm.
21:51Roy had large hands, too.
21:53They'd never been rough.
21:54He rarely did anything that required effort.
21:57He wasn't very strong, either.
21:59Every time he'd pick to fight and come out worse, he'd curled up on the ground and hadn't
22:04even tried to fight back.
22:06But when he hit Mama and me, he hit hard.
22:08In this village, most men were like that.
22:11Hands that fell hard on their wives and children.
22:14I had always thought all fathers were the same.
22:16Turns out some of them were different.
22:22The next morning, before dawn, Vance fetched an ox cart.
22:25He woke us up, and we rode into town together to sell the tiger.
22:29In the county seat, he went straight to a large estate he clearly knew well.
22:34He called someone out.
22:35Fletcher came to the door.
22:36His face lit up when he saw Vance.
22:39The two men grabbed each other by the shoulders, talking like old friends.
22:43So Papa could be like this, animated, warm, full of words.
22:48Mama and I hung back, staring at the tall, heavy doors, the high threshold, the stone lions
22:54flanking the gate.
22:55We didn't dare step forward.
22:57Vance looked back at us and said something to Fletcher.
23:00Fletcher studied us, then reached into his coat and pulled out a small cloth pouch.
23:04Here, child.
23:06Take it.
23:07I didn't dare.
23:08He pressed it into my hands.
23:10Papa nodded.
23:11I took it.
23:15Thank you, Uncle Fletcher.
23:17Inside the pouch was a small piece of silver.
23:20I walked it over to Papa.
23:21Papa.
23:22And tucked it into his hands.
23:23For you.
23:24Fletcher blinked.
23:25Then he laughed, loud and warm.
23:27Well, old Vance, you've got yourself a devoted little girl.
23:31You're a lucky man.
23:32That one's for your Papa.
23:35This one's yours.
23:36Keep it.
23:37Fletcher bought the tiger and invited Vance to stay for drinks.
23:40Vance shook his head.
23:42Nothing at home.
23:43Need to stock up for New Year.
23:44Next time, then, and you'd better actually show up.
23:49The tiger had sold for a good sum.
23:51Vance walked us through the market.
23:53First, a wonton stall for breakfast.
23:55A big bowl each.
23:57Thin wrappers, fat filling.
23:58Floating in rich broth that steamed in the cold air.
24:01Mama was afraid to eat.
24:03But Vance had already paid.
24:04Wasting it was worse.
24:06She tried to give me her bowl.
24:07Vance stopped her.
24:08Children who overeat end up with stomach aches.
24:11Mama thought of my illness immediately.
24:13She stopped.
24:14After the wontons, her face had some color in it.
24:17Vance took us to buy pork, grain, flour, oil, dried spices for cooking.
24:22Then to the cloth shop.
24:24New quilts and padded coats.
24:26Mama waved her hands.
24:27The ones we have are perfectly fine.
24:29I said the same.
24:30When we'd first arrived, the quilts and padded clothes Vance gave us had been secondhand.
24:36But they were clean and warm.
24:37That was already more than I'd ever had.
24:40Before, I had no silver.
24:43I bought used.
24:44Now I have silver.
24:46We buy new.
24:48In the end, they didn't buy ready-made.
24:50They bought fabric and cotton batting.
24:52Mama still didn't want to spend too freely.
24:54I can sew.
24:55My hands are fast.
24:57Done before New Year, I promise.
24:59She found a length of dark blue cloth and held it up beside Vance.
25:02This one suits you.
25:04It was the closest they'd ever stood.
25:06I was almost sure I saw Vance's face go red.
25:11His face went red and he looked happier.
25:14He lifted me up and set me on his shoulders so I could see all the way down the market
25:18road.
25:19I laughed so hard I could barely breathe.
25:21It was the highest I'd ever been.
25:23I could see everything.
25:25Mama walked carefully beside us, glancing again and again at his leg, afraid he'd tire himself out.
25:31Further along, Vance bought sesame candy and sugar figurines.
25:36He bought hair ribbons and flowers for Mama and me both.
25:39The stall woman smiled at them.
25:41Your wife and daughter are lovely.
25:43These flowers suit them perfectly.
25:45City made, you know?
25:46Vance and Mama both went red at exactly the same moment.
25:49On the way home, I sat in the ox cart holding my sugar figurine and refused to eat it.
25:54It was a general in full armor.
25:56Fierce looking, just like Papa.
25:59We passed Roy's old house on the road through the village.
26:02Grandma was in the yard washing clothes, in hot water, so she'd always known about hot water.
26:07Uncle Dale sat slumped under the eaves doing nothing.
26:11They'd sold Mama and me for 30 silver.
26:13Dale still hadn't found himself a wife with that money.
26:16He just sat around and called it, waiting for a good match.
26:19Grandma looked up.
26:21Uncle Dale looked up.
26:22They stared at us, slack-jawed, and their faces turned ugly.
26:27Worthless brat.
26:29Harrel it!
26:32The curse had barely left Grandma's mouth when a rock hit Uncle Dale square on the head.
26:37Who threw?
26:38Vance threw a second rock.
26:39It landed straight in Grandma's washtub and sent water splashing in all directions.
26:43These are my wife and daughter.
26:44Open your mouths against them again and you've got me to answer to.
26:48He stood at the gate in the fading light.
26:50Even with the bad leg, he was a wall.
26:52Grandma and Uncle Dale, bullies who ran at the first sign of real resistance, went completely silent.
26:58Mama's hand found mine.
27:00Her eyes had gone red.
27:02We rode on.
27:03When I looked back, I could still see the venom in their faces.
27:06Then I found my nerve.
27:08I raised my sugar figurines at them and made the ugliest face I could manage.
27:12I had a real Papa now.
27:14They couldn't touch us anymore.
27:18I lost my sugar figurine and my new hair ribbon.
27:22I was too ashamed to go home.
27:24I hovered near our gate, going back and forth, not able to make myself walk in.
27:30Papa came down from the mountain.
27:32He saw me, coat torn, face bleeding, covered in mud.
27:37He dropped his firewood, dropped the wild chickens he'd been carrying.
27:42Who did this?
27:43I'd never seen him this frightened.
27:45It scared me more than the beating.
27:47I started shaking.
27:48I'm sorry.
27:49I'm sorry.
27:51He crouched down.
27:52He wiped the mud off my face with his rough hands.
27:55His hands weren't steady.
27:56Tell Papa who did it.
28:00His voice steadied me.
28:01I told him everything, halting, stumbling over the words.
28:05With every sentence, his expression darkened.
28:08He took me inside and handed me to Mama.
28:10Then he picked up his walking stick and walked back out.
28:13Mama grabbed his arm.
28:15She shook her head.
28:16Papa thought about it.
28:17He picked up the thick wooden post that braced the door shut.
28:21That afternoon, the fathers of every boy who'd hit me got beaten.
28:25I won't hit a child.
28:26I'll hit you.
28:27One more incident and I'll break your legs.
28:32Every one of them was a grown, able-bodied man.
28:36Papa had one good leg.
28:37He chased them through the village anyway.
28:40One methodical blow at a time.
28:42Then Papa went to Roy's old house and beat Uncle Dale in front of the whole street.
28:47You people forced Ivy and this girl on me.
28:49I painted the silver.
28:50I signed the contract.
28:51They're mine.
28:51If I hear any more talk from your side of the village,
28:53Dale should stop walking alone after dark.
28:55Uncle Dale howled and promised over and over that it would never happen again.
29:02Anyone with something to say, say it to me directly.
29:05Not one person stepped forward.
29:07Several hurried to point out that Grandma's family had always treated Ivy and me badly.
29:13It's true.
29:14Ivy and little Nell are well off with you, old Vanch.
29:17You know how to take care of people.
29:18Those two are lucky they ended up with you.
29:20Papa walked home carrying the door post.
29:22He stopped in front of me and rested his hand on my head.
29:26He held my hand and walked me inside.
29:28In the lane, he said quietly,
29:30Who gave you that name anyway?
29:33Nell.
29:33It was Grandma's choice.
29:35Half the girls in the village had names like it.
29:38Nell, for invite a brother.
29:39Hope, for wish for a son.
29:41Bless, for pray he comes.
29:43Papa didn't like it.
29:45How about Clara from now on?
29:46Bright as the sun and moon, that's what Clara means.
29:49A name for someone with a future ahead of her.
29:53I was six years old and had my first real name.
29:56Clara.
29:57Clara Hart.
29:59A heart now?
30:00I told Mama, grinning.
30:02She laughed through red eyes, pressing the tears back.
30:05Papa said it twice, softly to himself.
30:07Clara Hart.
30:08Clara Hart.
30:09That night, Mama finished sewing the new quilts.
30:12She came to me with them folded in her arms.
30:16Clara, you're a big girl now.
30:19Time to sleep in your own room.
30:21Alright?
30:22Her own room.
30:23If I moved out, where would Mama sleep?
30:25I thought about it for one second.
30:26Yes.
30:27Mama, you and Papa should hurry up and have a little brother or sister for me.
30:32I'll take care of them.
30:34I meant it.
30:35A little brother or sister who had Papa.
30:37They'd be wonderful.
30:38I already wanted to meet them.
30:40The next morning, Papa woke me at dawn.
30:42Clara, yesterday was Papa impressive?
30:45Very impressive.
30:46You can't rely on me your whole life.
30:48You need to protect yourself.
30:49Do you want to be as strong as Papa?
30:50Yes.
30:53I wanted to be strong enough to protect Papa and Mama, the future little ones, to hunt
30:58on the mountain and earn enough silver to take care of all of them.
31:01Papa was pleased.
31:02He pointed at the yard.
31:03Run 50 laps to start.
31:0550 laps.
31:07By the end, I could barely stand.
31:09He didn't let me stop.
31:11Mama watched with pained eyes.
31:13She said nothing.
31:14After running, came stances.
31:16And lifting the stone block, Papa had brought back from the mountain.
31:20It was just heavy enough that I could manage it on a good day.
31:24By evening, my hands and feet were covered in blisters.
31:27Train hard.
31:28Your Papa means it for your good.
31:30I know, Mama.
31:32I understood what Papa's care looked like.
31:34That night, Mama carried her new quilt into Papa's bedroom.
31:38They talked quietly for a while.
31:40The lamp went out.
31:41The night was noisy for a bit.
31:43I slept soundly in my new quilts anyway.
31:46The next day, Papa woke up late.
31:48I'd already run 30 laps around the yard by the time he appeared at the door.
31:52All day, he and Mama kept catching each other's eyes and looking away fast.
31:57Both of them red-faced.
31:58Both of them smiling at nothing.
32:00If you want to look, just look.
32:03Why the sneaking?
32:04Adults were very strange.
32:09After New Year, Papa bought several acres of good farmland with the tiger money.
32:14He farmed in the busy seasons and hunted in the quiet ones.
32:18He was teaching me how to track animals, how to read droppings and prints, which sounds meant
32:22danger.
32:23Taught me the knife and the bow.
32:25How to put a person down using as little force as possible.
32:28My strength was still limited.
32:30Progress was slow.
32:32The village gossiped.
32:33Most of it came from Roy's old household.
32:36That cripple got a wife and a daughter handed to him for nothing.
32:39Doesn't matter how smug Ivy acts.
32:41She still ended up with a cripple.
32:44Roy was twice as handsome.
32:46Roy had been handsome.
32:47Much good it had done anyone.
32:49He couldn't carry a load or plant a field.
32:51He was a farmer who refused to farm.
32:53His greatest skill was hitting the people who lived in his house.
32:58I glanced at Papa's leg.
33:00He noticed.
33:01He adjusted his gait and walked more carefully than before.
33:05Mama caught me looking.
33:06She smacked the back of my head the moment we were alone.
33:09Your Papa has been nothing but good to us, Clara.
33:12Don't you dare look at him the way this village does.
33:14Don't you dare.
33:15Mama, I want to study medicine.
33:17If I'm good enough someday, maybe I can fix Papa's leg.
33:21I didn't care about the limp.
33:22I didn't care about the scar.
33:24I just didn't want him to hurt on rainy days.
33:26I didn't want him working through the pain and never saying a word about it.
33:30Mama's expression shifted.
33:31She worried.
33:32Female apprentices were hard to place.
33:35Most healers wouldn't take them.
33:36But Papa had been standing just outside the door.
33:39He went quiet for two days.
33:41Then he took me back into town.
33:43To Fletcher, at the large estate.
33:45Fletcher looked me over for a long moment.
33:47Medicine is hard work, Clara.
33:49An apprentice life is harder.
33:51Can you take it?
33:52I can.
33:52And when I've learned enough, I'll fix Papa's leg.
33:55Then I'll earn enough silver to take care of all of them.
33:57Papa and Mama and my little brothers and sisters.
34:00Brothers and sisters?
34:01Is there news already?
34:02Papa went scarlet and said it was far too early for that.
34:05Far too early.
34:08I moved into the county seat and began my apprenticeship at the clinic.
34:12I only asked to bring one thing from home.
34:15My stone lifting block for training.
34:18Mama couldn't make herself leave.
34:20She stood at the clinic door and wouldn't move.
34:22I waved her off.
34:24Mama.
34:26Come back when I've made something of myself.
34:28She laughed despite herself.
34:31All right.
34:32Mama's waiting.
34:33The clinic's doctor was warm and patient with patience.
34:37With her apprentices, she was merciless.
34:39Too slow to learn.
34:41She scolded you.
34:42Made an error.
34:43She scolded you.
34:45Sometimes she hit.
34:47Some of the younger apprentices cried and went home within weeks.
34:50I wasn't troubled by any of it.
34:52She only ever struck the padded parts of the body.
34:54The force was calibrated.
34:56Sharp on impact.
34:57No lasting harm.
34:58Compared to Roy's household, this was nothing.
35:01And when the doctor scolded us, I recognized that look.
35:04It wasn't hatred.
35:05It was impatience born from caring.
35:07She also made sure we ate.
35:09Every meal.
35:10Every day.
35:11Without exception.
35:12She never once stinted on food or clothing.
35:16I could tell the difference between people who meant you harm
35:20and people who were hard on you for a reason.
35:22I kept lifting my stone block.
35:25I kept practicing the fighting forms Papa had taught me.
35:28My grip got stronger.
35:29When I started learning massage and manipulation from the doctor,
35:33I was already ahead of the others.
35:35I could feel exactly where the tension sat under the skin.
35:38I worked on her shoulders when she'd had a long day.
35:41She started looking less grim.
35:43Every two weeks, I went home.
35:45First thing.
35:46Papa's bad leg.
35:47He refused at first.
35:49Twisted around in his seat like I'd suggested something embarrassing.
35:52A few minutes in, his eyes went red.
35:54When he stood up afterward, he walked without catching himself on the door frame.
35:59Clara's gotten good.
36:01Learning fast.
36:02Mama asked me to teach her.
36:03When you're in the city, I can work on it for him.
36:06He pushes himself too hard.
36:07I walked them both through it side by side.
36:10When I'm not here, you can do it for each other.
36:12They both turned red at exactly the same time.
36:15Adults.
36:16Truly inexplicable.
36:16Inexplicable.
36:17Inexplicable.
36:17Inexplicable.
36:45Inexplicable.
36:48Inexplicable.
36:51Inexplicable.
36:53Inexplicable.
36:59Inexplicable.
37:01Inexplicable.
37:02Inexplicable.
37:04Inexplicable.
37:05Inexplicable.
37:05Inexplicable.
37:05Inexplicable.
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