- 3 hours ago
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:02New intimacy level unlocked.
00:00:09New skin dangerously hot is equipped.
00:00:18You're staring. You like what you see?
00:00:21Maybe.
00:00:30When are you gonna tell me I hate who you are?
00:00:32You know who I really am. I'm ValleyQueen33.
00:00:35Such a dumb username.
00:00:37Oh, okay, guacamole wizard275.
00:00:39Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:42You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:43You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:45Well, I would if you agreed to meet me in person.
00:00:47Or at least a photo.
00:00:50Maybe someday.
00:00:55Crap, I'm late.
00:00:57Good luck, Skylifter Queen.
00:01:01Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:09In the game of castle claimers,
00:01:11I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight.
00:01:14But on my first day at Edmunds Academy,
00:01:16I feel like a peasant.
00:01:19Watch it!
00:01:20This isn't public school.
00:01:23Forget your training wheels.
00:01:26At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:40Stop, stop, stop, stop the car!
00:01:44No!
00:01:46God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:49It's ruined!
00:01:56He's so hot.
00:01:57Hey!
00:01:57I told you to stop the car!
00:02:04Oh my gosh, it's cool!
00:02:05He's so hot!
00:02:10Hey!
00:02:12What is wrong with you?
00:02:13Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:16Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:18What are you with me, son?
00:02:20What are you talking about?
00:02:22Why?
00:02:24I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:26No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:30You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:32Yeah, I broke a lot of hearts, player cop.
00:02:34Okay?
00:02:37You should know that.
00:02:38I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:41You were a...
00:02:42Eh...
00:02:45Asshole!
00:02:50Alright.
00:02:51I broke something of yours.
00:02:54Sure, but...
00:02:55Hey!
00:02:56You got my attention.
00:02:59So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:07Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:10Have a good day.
00:03:13Don't do it!
00:03:21Oh, fuck!
00:03:23Now we're even.
00:03:24My laptop better not be broken!
00:03:27I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:33You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:37You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway,
00:03:44and every roomer in this school,
00:03:46you're a personal nightmare.
00:03:48I'm going to make your life a living hell.
00:03:51What's going on?
00:03:52Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:53Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:55Yeah, idiot.
00:03:56I can see that.
00:03:59Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:01Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:04Same.
00:04:05Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:07Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:11Cole, do you need help?
00:04:12I can help you.
00:04:16The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:18This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:21But he's not your Cole.
00:04:22Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:24He's not yet.
00:04:26Come on.
00:04:28Hi.
00:04:29I'm Jen.
00:04:30And this is Lindsay.
00:04:32Hi.
00:04:34I'm Hayley.
00:04:35So nice to meet you.
00:04:36You have first day jitters?
00:04:37That's totally understandable.
00:04:39We want to make sure you feel really welcome,
00:04:40and so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:43Okay.
00:04:44Let's go.
00:04:48There you go.
00:04:50Thanks so much.
00:04:58Oh!
00:05:12Aw, you're welcome, new girl.
00:05:14Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:22Guacamole wizard.
00:05:24Wow.
00:05:24What are you, catfishing some lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:28Give it back.
00:05:29Hold on.
00:05:32Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:36Send.
00:05:37Here.
00:05:37Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:42So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:45I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:46At least check on me.
00:05:48Oh, is it the online level?
00:05:50Aw, chill.
00:05:51Please.
00:05:54No way.
00:05:56What is it?
00:05:57Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:04Please ignore that.
00:06:05Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:08Send.
00:06:12What is wrong with you?
00:06:14You messed with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:17Edmunds?
00:06:18What?
00:06:19You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:21Wow.
00:06:22You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:26Stop recording me!
00:06:29Jen is a new girl.
00:06:31Wait.
00:06:32Is the new girl Valley Queen?
00:06:36There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:38Could it be...
00:06:39Jen?
00:06:42Ew.
00:06:46Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:48And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:51No chance it's Jen.
00:06:53So is it...
00:06:54She does look kinda cute.
00:07:03Please ignore that.
00:07:04Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:06What was I thinking?
00:07:08Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:14Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:16Keep walking, Hayley.
00:07:17Just keep walking.
00:07:19You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:22My name's Hayley.
00:07:24Well, Hayley.
00:07:25I think you, uh...
00:07:27You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:31What a coincidence!
00:07:33So did you!
00:07:34Hell no!
00:07:38Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:39I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:41You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:47If the liver ends up with her, I must have failed an eye exam.
00:07:49Yeah.
00:08:02I'm so relieved to see you.
00:08:04Something happened today.
00:08:05I lost the game.
00:08:06I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:08I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:11And what is this?
00:08:13What I think it is, is...
00:08:15I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me.
00:08:19It's more than just friends.
00:08:22Oh, thank God.
00:08:24I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:25You're my soulmate.
00:08:27Like, I like you so much.
00:08:28Okay, well, since we're dating now, um...
00:08:32I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:34Wait, really?
00:08:36Yeah.
00:08:37Get ready.
00:08:43Okay.
00:08:44No face.
00:08:46Just the boobs.
00:08:47Is it a bad idea?
00:08:49But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:51PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:53All the kids do this.
00:08:55You'll love it.
00:09:00Oh, this lighting hates me.
00:09:02Come on, Hayley.
00:09:03Confidence.
00:09:04You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:11Okay.
00:09:12Yeah.
00:09:13That's actually kind of...
00:09:14Oh, my God.
00:09:20Seriously?
00:09:21Hello?
00:09:22Anyone?
00:09:24Don't look at me!
00:09:29We're trying not for volleyball, are we?
00:09:31I don't think that you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:33Get out.
00:09:34Now!
00:09:35Fine.
00:09:37Out!
00:09:37Damn it!
00:09:42Come on.
00:09:44Doors.
00:09:57Yeah!
00:10:12That's crazy.
00:10:12I mean to me.
00:10:15You're helping me.
00:10:16I won't. I didn't point on it, but here we are.
00:10:26Excuse you. These boobs are for someone else.
00:10:28I love a boyfriend, do we? That is shocking.
00:10:31Yeah, actually. And he'd probably kill you right now if he saw you were flirting with me.
00:10:36Flirting? Yeah, don't lie to yourself. I've got a girlfriend, too.
00:10:38My thoughts and prayers to her.
00:10:40Funny.
00:10:41Okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go our separate ways?
00:10:46Fine by me.
00:10:49Oh, I know.
00:10:51Well, the purple bra, by the way.
00:10:54I like it in a weird way.
00:10:55Not even my type, but, you know, power theory.
00:10:59Would you just get out of here?
00:11:09Hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it, too.
00:11:13Jen, red alert.
00:11:14Colm and the new girl are for sure flirting.
00:11:17I think it's time to take drastic action.
00:11:21Don't be a coward.
00:11:22Just send it.
00:11:23Jen.
00:11:28Oh, my God.
00:11:30Here goes nothing.
00:11:38Still, no response.
00:11:40Don't freak out.
00:11:41He's probably just busy.
00:11:46Give it back.
00:11:46Why?
00:11:47You don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:50Oh, this is actually a really good photo.
00:11:52Honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it.
00:11:55Did you get it, Lindsay?
00:11:56Mm-hmm.
00:11:58Got it.
00:12:00What are you doing?
00:12:11What are you doing?
00:12:27Oh, shit.
00:12:29Oh.
00:12:30Yo, what's going on?
00:12:31Dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen.
00:12:34What?
00:12:34Yeah.
00:12:36Yeah.
00:12:49Come on.
00:12:50Let's see if these goods are photoshopped.
00:12:54Stop.
00:12:55Delete it.
00:12:55Please.
00:12:56Oh, you did it.
00:13:02Oh, my brave knight.
00:13:09I wish you were here with me right now.
00:13:16Oh, my God.
00:13:18Oh, cool.
00:13:19Your enemy's kind of hot.
00:13:21Since you're so into slutty photos,
00:13:24why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:28Jen, no.
00:13:29No, no, no, no, no, no, Jen, stop.
00:13:33Get off me!
00:13:41Oh, my God.
00:13:43Oh, my God.
00:13:43Oh, my God.
00:13:55Stop it!
00:13:56Stop it!
00:13:57Oh my god!
00:14:05Hey.
00:14:08You okay?
00:14:10Give that to me.
00:14:18Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:20What the hell, Cole?
00:14:21I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:28How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:30Not good, huh?
00:14:31Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:33I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:35And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:38Why are you even defending her?
00:14:39She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:42Yeah.
00:14:43He's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:46And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:48You hear me?
00:14:53Haley, are you?
00:14:54Cole is on my side now?
00:14:55Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:14:58I just need to be alone.
00:14:59Alright.
00:15:00Haley!
00:15:05Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:07And he said we were enemies.
00:15:09But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:14Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:17Love you, Mom.
00:15:19Wait, Mom.
00:15:24Do, do people change?
00:15:27Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:34Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:54Top day, huh?
00:15:55There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:15:58They're my favorite.
00:16:00Noted.
00:16:00Is that all?
00:16:01The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:04I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:08Oh.
00:16:09I'm really proud of you.
00:16:11And then there's this guy.
00:16:13He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:17It's so confusing.
00:16:18Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:24I like you.
00:16:25Only you.
00:16:31I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:34You did?
00:16:34Are you gonna risk for Kate?
00:16:36I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:38That sounds amazing.
00:16:40When?
00:16:40With?
00:16:41About after school.
00:16:42At the balcony.
00:16:43I'll bring followers.
00:16:45Deal?
00:16:54I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:06Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:15Call me father.
00:17:16I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:19Defending that nobody.
00:17:21Haley girl.
00:17:22He was not a nobody dad.
00:17:23Are those for her?
00:17:29What the fuck?
00:17:33What the fuck?
00:17:34I know what Haley is, Cole.
00:17:36Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:39That whole family is trash.
00:17:41Stay away from her.
00:17:43And what if I say no?
00:17:44Stay away from Haley, Cole.
00:17:46Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:48What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:52I'm almost 18.
00:17:53Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:55I hate to make Haley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:00safe.
00:18:01You're sick.
00:18:03It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:11Oh, hi.
00:18:13I'm Haley.
00:18:14Yes.
00:18:16So nice to meet you.
00:18:18God.
00:18:19I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:21But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:26Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:28You're so nice.
00:18:33Guacamole wizard.
00:18:35Ew.
00:18:39Guacamole wizard.
00:18:40Ew.
00:18:42You're waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:45Pathetic.
00:18:46Maybe he's married.
00:18:47Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:49And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:53I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:56Why is guacamole wizard still not here?
00:18:58Oh, no.
00:18:59We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:00We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:02And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:06Eat it.
00:19:20Call me.
00:19:21So you thought that you could just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:26You're a maid's daughter, so you can go ahead and eat trash.
00:19:30Guacamole wizard, where are you?
00:19:32Oh, and by the way, Nicole's not going to come save you.
00:19:35Because after all, he's rich.
00:19:37Like me.
00:19:42I'm nothing like you.
00:19:47Yeah, I'm nothing like you.
00:19:50Cole again?
00:19:51Why is he always here when I need help?
00:19:54Pick it up.
00:19:56Cole, we were kidding.
00:19:57It's ketchup.
00:19:58Pick that bloody thing up.
00:20:04Take it, you're going to record this.
00:20:13Didn't your dad tell you not to mess with Hayley anymore?
00:20:15Don't think you have leverage here.
00:20:17Cause I'll tell your mom how fucked up you are.
00:20:20You gonna hold that thing next to your face and do what I say.
00:20:25I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:30I will leave Hailey alone.
00:20:35Got it?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:36Let's go.
00:20:38What are you looking at?
00:20:43Got it?
00:20:44Let's go.
00:20:52Uh, thank you.
00:20:54Wow.
00:20:56Never thought I'd hear you say that.
00:21:00Why do you keep following me around?
00:21:02I just...
00:21:04I happen to see you.
00:21:06Were you waiting at someone?
00:21:08Yeah.
00:21:09My boyfriend, actually.
00:21:13Well, he...
00:21:14He kind of stood me up, so...
00:21:16Maybe you didn't do it on purpose.
00:21:20Maybe you got to do it nice to them.
00:21:22Cole, are you being nice to me?
00:21:26You thought we were enemies.
00:21:28I mean, I still find you incredibly annoying, though, so...
00:21:31Am I that annoying?
00:21:32Maybe you'll like me once you realize I have layers.
00:21:35Are you trying to play with my feelings, Cole Edna?
00:21:37Because it's not going to work.
00:21:38I'm like those stupid, spoiled heiresses.
00:21:46How'd that online boyfriend in your ears make you fall for her?
00:21:53He...
00:21:53He makes me feel safe.
00:21:56You wouldn't understand it, though.
00:22:02You don't understand better than you think.
00:22:05Cole understands me better than I think.
00:22:09Does he...
00:22:11How you touch him like this?
00:22:22If you keep staring, I'm going to think you like what you see.
00:22:26No, my...
00:22:28My boyfriend has way better abs than you do.
00:22:33In the game.
00:22:35Oh, in the game, huh?
00:22:43Why does he have to smell so good?
00:22:49Are you that slow to me, too?
00:22:53I can see why he likes you.
00:23:04I can't do this.
00:23:07I love my boyfriend.
00:23:08And you will never understand that.
00:23:10He's smart, and he's kind, and...
00:23:13He loves me for who I am.
00:23:16That is so much more important to me than whatever this is between us.
00:23:20I wish I could just tell her right now.
00:23:30Wait, it couldn't be.
00:23:34Cole, what was that notification on your phone?
00:23:39There's nothing.
00:23:40Cole, who are you?
00:23:44What was that notification on your phone?
00:23:46It was my dad telling me my car got done getting waxed.
00:23:51Champagne problems, huh?
00:23:54You live such a tough life.
00:24:00What was I thinking?
00:24:01We are from two different worlds.
00:24:03He just wants to play with me.
00:24:05But why did I want to kiss him so badly?
00:24:12Why didn't you come to school today?
00:24:13I got into a car accident.
00:24:16Really?
00:24:17Are you okay?
00:24:18You have to keep me in the hospital till prom.
00:24:20He was right.
00:24:21Who?
00:24:22Nobody.
00:24:23Which hospital are you staying at?
00:24:24I want to come visit you.
00:24:26No, no, you can't.
00:24:27I look miserable now.
00:24:28You need to see me in style.
00:24:30Fine, if you say so.
00:24:33So, are we going to prom together?
00:24:35Hell yeah, we are.
00:24:41Why would anyone want to sit next to her?
00:24:44Whoever needs a charity case.
00:25:01Oh, you.
00:25:03Oh, me.
00:25:04Why is she so lucky?
00:25:06Cole's never been this way with any other girl.
00:25:09People think you're really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:12I'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner.
00:25:14Because you don't do any homework.
00:25:21You finished it?
00:25:23It's okay.
00:25:24We'll get to know each other more.
00:25:26I'm not that curious about you, actually.
00:25:27I'm curious about you, though.
00:25:29Like, uh, how close were you with your mom?
00:25:33What is he trying to do?
00:25:35It's none of your business, but I'm very close with my mom.
00:25:38I'd kill anyone who hurts her.
00:25:42Does Cole genuinely want to know me?
00:25:54So, are you going to prom?
00:25:56I don't know.
00:25:56I don't know.
00:25:57I don't know.
00:25:58So you have a date?
00:26:01Or shall I say victim?
00:26:03Are you jealous of me?
00:26:04Me?
00:26:05Jealous?
00:26:06No, why would I be jealous?
00:26:07Oh, because I think you so secretly want me.
00:26:10You are so full of yourself.
00:26:12You can do this on your own.
00:26:13Yeah.
00:26:16No way.
00:26:18It's a self-locking door.
00:26:20Really?
00:26:20Miss Corma's going to be back in an hour.
00:26:22I'm sure you'll be fine.
00:26:23I'm stuck here with you for a full hour?
00:26:25No.
00:26:26Sorry.
00:26:27Am I that bad?
00:26:28I think maybe we can pick up where we left off.
00:26:31Don't worry.
00:26:32Maybe trust me and do.
00:26:33Mm-mm.
00:26:34We're keeping our distance this time, actually.
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:46That was my first kiss.
00:26:50My first kiss was not supposed to go like that.
00:26:53It was supposed to be special at prom and not just bumping lips.
00:27:07You're really good at this.
00:27:09Why don't you regret it?
00:27:11You know, we can do more if you want.
00:27:29Hey, I've been holding back a lot more than you think.
00:27:32So you want me?
00:27:36I think you know how much I want you.
00:27:42Do you want me?
00:27:44I want you.
00:27:50Oh, shit.
00:27:54Anyone in here?
00:27:58Oh, my God.
00:27:59How long have you two been in here?
00:28:00I really need to change this lock.
00:28:02Are you two okay?
00:28:04Oh.
00:28:04Yeah.
00:28:05Yeah, we're good.
00:28:06We're okay.
00:28:15You're just going to pretend like that didn't happen.
00:28:17What didn't happen?
00:28:18Hey, wait.
00:28:19It's just hormones.
00:28:21Jake.
00:28:23Can you still play after your accident?
00:28:25Relax, I'm not dead.
00:28:26Wait.
00:28:27Car accident?
00:28:28Guacamole wizard?
00:28:34I gotta go.
00:28:43Guacamole wizard?
00:28:44Huh?
00:28:47Are you all better after your car accident?
00:28:49Do I know you?
00:28:51Why is he being so standoffish?
00:28:53Is he trying to give me a surprise?
00:28:55Or he heard something about Cole?
00:28:58You're crushing your soda can.
00:29:01She thinks guacamole wizard is Jake Myers.
00:29:03She was in a real car accident.
00:29:05According to you, so is guacamole wizard.
00:29:08I can't take this anymore.
00:29:09Cole, wait.
00:29:12Oh, shit.
00:29:17What's up, guys?
00:29:18Um, we were just chatting.
00:29:21Chatting about Jake's grand plans to kick balls?
00:29:24Was there something that you wanted, Cole?
00:29:28Hey!
00:29:29Just figured I'd bring you some mozzarella sticks.
00:29:31They're your favorite, right?
00:29:35How did you know that?
00:29:37Tough day, huh?
00:29:38There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:29:40They're my favorite.
00:29:42He couldn't be Cole.
00:29:44Could he?
00:29:50The truth is, um...
00:29:51A dickhead?
00:29:54What do you honestly get out of here, bro?
00:29:55You came to my table, bro, and knocked my ball away.
00:30:05There it goes again.
00:30:06Cole is jealous.
00:30:08We got a problem here, Cole?
00:30:09We don't have a problem.
00:30:11We don't have a problem.
00:30:13Right?
00:30:14Tell Cole to get my ball, and we don't have a problem.
00:30:17Jake, it would take me forever to find one of your balls.
00:30:22I have the ball now.
00:30:23Could we stop measuring each other's dicks?
00:30:27Cole and Jake are fighting over Haley?
00:30:30Maybe I can use that.
00:30:34Jake!
00:30:35Hey!
00:30:36What if I told you that I have an internship opportunity for you with my dad?
00:30:40Wait, seriously?
00:30:41Yeah.
00:30:42Just one little catch.
00:30:43You have to pretend to like Haley Roth.
00:30:47All right, you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports.
00:30:50If you have any questions, I'll be at my desk.
00:30:54I thought Guacamole Wizard would feel more like Cole.
00:30:58But if he's really Jake, then maybe this was always going to end.
00:31:02You've literally been sorry for five minutes.
00:31:04I'm thinking.
00:31:04About the report or about him?
00:31:06Why are you making it so weird about Jake?
00:31:08We literally made out of a sojourn.
00:31:11Maybe you've known Jake longer.
00:31:13No, you don't.
00:31:14How do you know that?
00:31:15You're going to prom with someone else.
00:31:17Stop acting like you're serious about me.
00:31:19You have no idea.
00:31:25Oh my God, is Jake asking me to prom?
00:31:41Hayley, someone's here to see you.
00:31:54Are you asking me to prom?
00:31:57Too cheesy?
00:31:58No, it's cute.
00:32:01The accident, the mozzarella sticks?
00:32:03He is Guacamole Wizard.
00:32:05So, um, what do you think?
00:32:08You want to go to prom with me?
00:32:10I...
00:32:11I should feel happy.
00:32:13But why does this feel so wrong?
00:32:17Hey, can we not?
00:32:20Hey, can we not?
00:32:23Dude, seriously, what is your problem?
00:32:25My problem here, dude, is that me and my lab partner have work to do.
00:32:28And you're out here to strike me with bad puns.
00:32:30Wow.
00:32:32That is some weak shit, man.
00:32:34Oh, that's weak shit?
00:32:36Is this weak shit?
00:32:39Oh my God.
00:32:48Wow, he's got really pretty eyes.
00:32:56Wait, I can't.
00:32:57Colt, put me down.
00:32:58Put me down.
00:32:59Put me down.
00:33:02Don't do that again.
00:33:15New couple alert.
00:33:18Fuck off, Jen.
00:33:19Why do you hate me so much, Colt?
00:33:21You and I, we're not that different.
00:33:23And if you'd realize and give me a chance,
00:33:25I think that we would make a great match.
00:33:27Like, say, if you asked me to prom.
00:33:30I might say yes.
00:33:33Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:37Jen, you want to go to prom with me?
00:33:40We're both hot, and we're both rich,
00:33:43and our dads have been in business, like, forever, so.
00:33:47I'll romantic.
00:33:47I think I'll pass.
00:33:50You're going to regret this, Colt Edmonds.
00:33:55Oh, here they come.
00:33:58If I message Corcomole Wizard,
00:34:00I wonder if Jake's phone were dinged.
00:34:03What should we wear to prom?
00:34:06And the dance list.
00:34:09Yeah.
00:34:15Um, I'll talk to you later.
00:34:17I'll see you around school, okay?
00:34:18Okay, yeah, I'll see you later.
00:34:19Bye.
00:34:20He's so different.
00:34:22Maybe he's still recovering from the accident?
00:34:24I'm saying we're...
00:34:27Hayley?
00:34:31Hey.
00:34:34What are you doing?
00:34:36Jeez.
00:34:37God.
00:34:43Here, I'll get it.
00:34:44Yeah, I know.
00:34:49Oh.
00:34:50You're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone?
00:34:52I don't care.
00:34:53I do care.
00:34:55I do care.
00:34:56Hey, I...
00:35:13I don't put a problem with Jake.
00:35:15I mean, he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me.
00:35:18He doesn't even know you.
00:35:19And you do?
00:35:20How do you know I like mozzarella sticks?
00:35:22That's something I've only ever talked about.
00:35:24Because...
00:35:25I...
00:35:26pay attention to what you like.
00:35:28I noticed it at lunch.
00:35:30The first day.
00:35:32You were watching me?
00:35:34Just...
00:35:35Just don't go to college, Jake.
00:35:51Move!
00:35:52Cole is talking to Hayley.
00:35:54Again.
00:35:55Your job is to keep them away from each other, Jake.
00:35:58Unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you.
00:36:00Obviously I do.
00:36:01Okay, then break them up, idiot.
00:36:04Uh...
00:36:05What do I do?
00:36:07I've got a few ideas.
00:36:13Hey, look.
00:36:16Someone will take you to prom.
00:36:17I promise.
00:36:18Yeah?
00:36:19Really, like who?
00:36:20I mean, the whole school hates me, except for Jake.
00:36:24And you.
00:36:25But you're not asking me.
00:36:28Hey.
00:36:29Oh, hey, Jake.
00:36:31Hey, Hal.
00:36:32Um...
00:36:33I just wanted to thank you again for...
00:36:35The other night.
00:36:37The other night?
00:36:38Yeah, it was...
00:36:41So...
00:36:41Sexy.
00:36:43You're so sexy.
00:36:45Jake, what are you talking about?
00:36:47Oh!
00:36:48Uh, hate to break it to you, asshole, but she's my prom date.
00:36:56And she's a real tiger in the bedroom.
00:37:00Oh!
00:37:01Oh, shit!
00:37:02Oh, shit!
00:37:04Oh, shit!
00:37:19Stop, guys! Stop it! Stop! Stop!
00:37:23What the hell is going on over there?
00:37:27Shit, it's Principal Stevens. I've got to save Cole. I mean, Jake. I've got to save Jake.
00:37:38Oh my god! Principal Stevens, I'm so sorry!
00:37:42Kaylee Rock, that's detention. After school, don't be late.
00:37:49Oh my god, what are you doing here?
00:38:05Can we keep company? It's the least I could do if you saved my house today.
00:38:12The locker thing, that was an accident.
00:38:14Oh, sure.
00:38:17So, uh, you and Jake, huh?
00:38:23No. He lied about that. I don't know why, though.
00:38:26Good. You know, father that asshole, every time he looks at you, makes me sick to my stomach.
00:38:33Thinking about him touching you, kissing you. I could kill him.
00:38:40Promise me you won't go to prom with it.
00:38:45Okay, fine. I won't.
00:38:49Because I want to go to prom with you.
00:38:54Okay, everyone, let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate.
00:39:04Oh my god, I am so fed up with this.
00:39:09No.
00:39:25Sorry!
00:39:27I tripped.
00:39:28No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:39:29Jet!
00:39:30What?
00:39:30It always has to be about her, doesn't it?
00:39:36They're dead.
00:39:37They're both dead.
00:39:39Oh.
00:39:40How am I going to be able to talk to Guacamole Wizard?
00:39:45Oh.
00:39:46What are you...
00:39:47Are you almost crying?
00:39:49It's probably because you can't afford a new one.
00:39:53Jen!
00:39:54What's going on over there?
00:40:04Wait.
00:40:06What's going on is Jen is getting a taste of her own medicine.
00:40:09This squirm is burning!
00:40:10Mr. Edmonds!
00:40:11Oh, please. It's baking soda and water. You're fine.
00:40:14Detention. Today after school.
00:40:17Shit.
00:40:24Okay.
00:40:29Jake, hey.
00:40:31Oh, uh, sorry.
00:40:32Gotta get to student council.
00:40:36Hey, you didn't even try the rice trick.
00:40:39The rice trick?
00:40:42Yeah.
00:40:44You don't know about the...
00:40:47Come on.
00:41:00Hey!
00:41:01Um, Ella.
00:41:03It's Emma.
00:41:05Yeah, that's what I said.
00:41:06Can you hack a broken laptop?
00:41:16Hey, it's gonna be okay.
00:41:19We'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened.
00:41:22No, it's not just the phone or the laptop. It means, it means I can't...
00:41:28Can't what?
00:41:31I talked to a friend online.
00:41:34He's really important to me.
00:41:39And I'm sure you're really important to him.
00:41:52You know, Cole, if you look past all that hair gel and...
00:41:57Big ol' ego and rich kid bravron.
00:41:59Okay, okay. I-I get it.
00:42:04You're kind of sweet.
00:42:09Hey, look at that.
00:42:12Oh my God!
00:42:13Thank you!
00:42:15Oh my God!
00:42:17You're a miracle worker.
00:42:24What is taking so long?
00:42:26You doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate.
00:42:28Shut up, Ella.
00:42:30It's Emma.
00:42:31Whatever.
00:42:37Oh my God.
00:42:45Oh!
00:42:46Morning, valley whore!
00:42:48How are things in the castle?
00:42:50Oh my God!
00:42:52I can't believe it!
00:42:55Valley whore?
00:42:56What are they talking about?
00:43:12Guacamole wizard, when can we be together in person?
00:43:16Guacamole wizard, I want you so badly, I dream about you touching me.
00:43:20Oh my God!
00:43:21Someone hacked my Castle Claimers messages.
00:43:23Touch me, guacamole wizard.
00:43:26Yeah, hey valley whore, show them what you really like.
00:43:47Here you go.
00:43:49Here, this is for you.
00:43:54Oh, do you like what I've done with the place?
00:43:56You hacked my laptop?
00:43:59Oh no, it wasn't me.
00:44:00It was that kid, Ella.
00:44:02But I definitely got to reap the benefits.
00:44:04What kind of incel sex over a video game, Hayley?
00:44:07What are you, catfishing this guy?
00:44:09No, I'm not trying to catfish him.
00:44:11Hey everyone!
00:44:12I think valley whore's a catfish.
00:44:15Because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you?
00:44:20There.
00:44:21There.
00:44:36There.
00:44:41There.
00:44:43There.
00:44:44Just stop, stop!
00:44:48I thought I'd send the janitor some time.
00:44:53Jake!
00:44:55Hey!
00:44:57Now's the time.
00:44:58Tell them.
00:45:00Tell them what?
00:45:00That you're a guacamole wizard.
00:45:03Who's guacamole wizard?
00:45:07Here you go.
00:45:10Oh my God.
00:45:11Did you think that Jake was your secret little online boyfriend?
00:45:14Oh, sweetie, I've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you.
00:45:19What?
00:45:19Why would you do that?
00:45:20Oh, I don't know, Cole.
00:45:21Why do you think I would do that?
00:45:25Jake, is this true?
00:45:26Have you been pretending to like me this whole time?
00:45:30Sorry.
00:45:32It was nothing personal?
00:45:38Yeah, nothing personal.
00:45:41Oh!
00:45:42Oh!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45Oh!
00:45:46All right, all right, all right, enough!
00:45:49What in the world is going on here?
00:45:51Is that a leaf blower?
00:45:53That's all him.
00:45:54Okay, well, you both have detention, so...
00:46:01Let me get this straight.
00:46:03You stole a leaf blower and defaced school property?
00:46:06It wasn't school property, Dad.
00:46:08It was Jen's cyber boy's spreadsheets.
00:46:10Jesus Christ, how does she always get away with this shit?
00:46:13Could it be because her father's running for Senate, Cole?
00:46:16You think that's what it could be?
00:46:17Who cares?
00:46:18I care.
00:46:20I care.
00:46:20And...
00:46:21I hear she's got an eye for you.
00:46:23So you're taking her to prom.
00:46:25What?
00:46:25Over my dead body?
00:46:27Oh, because you're like that Haley girl?
00:46:30I'm firing her mother right now.
00:46:31No, no, please don't.
00:46:33Please.
00:46:34Then you're taking Jen to prom.
00:46:36Max's dad called.
00:46:37He said he's having a party tomorrow.
00:46:39You're gonna go, and you're gonna ask Jen to prom.
00:46:42End of discussion.
00:46:49Come on, you big coward.
00:46:51Message him.
00:46:52Just do it.
00:46:53Just do it.
00:46:56You must think I'm the biggest idiot.
00:47:05I could never think that.
00:47:12But I thought you were Jake.
00:47:14Please, can't you just tell me now?
00:47:15I think I've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime.
00:47:22I heard that guy Max is throwing a party tomorrow.
00:47:24If you want, I'll meet you there.
00:47:37Okay.
00:47:39You got this Haley.
00:47:40Just take a deep breath.
00:47:42You got this.
00:47:43You got this.
00:47:47You got this.
00:47:48You got this.
00:47:48You got this.
00:47:48You look beautiful.
00:47:51Thank you, Mom.
00:48:10Hey, Haley.
00:48:12I'm glad you came.
00:48:13You look so pretty.
00:48:14Hi.
00:48:15Hey, Max.
00:48:16Your house is gorgeous.
00:48:18I mean.
00:48:18No, it's just my parents' blood, honey.
00:48:20You know they're upstairs watching The Last of Us right now?
00:48:22They don't care about shit.
00:48:23Get drunk, girl.
00:48:25Woo!
00:48:28Yeah.
00:48:38What are you doing here?
00:48:40Valley whore.
00:48:43Looks like the catfish came out of the pond.
00:48:45Hey, everyone.
00:48:46Let's give it up for Valley Whore.
00:48:48Valley Whore!
00:48:53Jen, why are you doing this?
00:48:54What have I even done to you?
00:48:56To me?
00:48:56Oh, I'm actually concerned about our whole community,
00:48:59because those little cringy messages on your castle game,
00:49:02those are concerning.
00:49:04Actually, I kind of feel a bit of a perv.
00:49:06Did you know that, Haley?
00:49:07She's a little pervy princess.
00:49:10Pervy princess!
00:49:13Pervy princess!
00:49:14Pervy princess!
00:49:16Pervy princess!
00:49:18Hey.
00:49:19Let's get pervy tonight.
00:49:21Leave me alone.
00:49:23Is there a fire?
00:49:25Okay, we set off the alarm.
00:49:39A fire?
00:49:41Pervy princess!
00:49:47I'm ready.
00:49:49I'm ready.
00:49:50Hey!
00:49:51Oh, my God.
00:49:58But you're hungry.
00:50:00Hey!
00:50:00I'm ready.
00:50:02I'm so hungry.
00:50:06Let me know.
00:50:06I'm ready.
00:50:07See you.
00:50:17are you him would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend okay cole is not
00:50:24him anyways we are going to the prom together no i'm not yes you are it's okay you can be
00:50:31honest about your feelings so you too this whole time oh my god i am such an idiot hey wait
00:50:48please at least take my jackets you know if you really wanted to humiliate me you didn't have to
00:50:53go to the extra effort jen was doing just fine i wasn't trying to humiliate you then what were you
00:50:58trying to do i guess you obviously the white clothes were just an added bonus i knew i
00:51:03shouldn't have trusted you now what about guacamole was it what are you
00:51:18who is that i don't know just the devil
00:51:23get in the car i'm not gonna ask you again cole get in the car dad can you just act
00:51:30normal for
00:51:31once and please introduce yourself to hayley i already assumed that's who this was hi mr
00:51:37happens so you're the scholarship trash that's hell bent on ruining cole's life well i've got news for
00:51:44you young lady my son is gonna marry a good girl from a respectable family and that's not you
00:51:51you will be forgotten you're a maid's daughter and your mom works for me stay away from him
00:51:59or i swear to god your mother is fire dad stop don't you touch my family i'll stay away
00:52:09come on you don't mean that i hate everything you stand for i hate your greed and your callousness
00:52:18and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like i hate everything about you
00:52:23i hate all of it i don't want any part of it so cole go with your dad
00:52:40no laptop and no phone for a week ever since mom died you've turned into this co-patriarch
00:52:46hey we're not that's real love why do you have to make me so miserable i promised your mother i
00:52:51would make you a success son even if it meant saving you from yourself
00:53:03hi hayley i'm emma i know who you are right i just felt kind of bad that i accidentally helped
00:53:10and ruin your life so i wanted to return your laptop to you good as new
00:53:20oh wow thanks emma okay bye
00:53:29one down one to go you're so cool i know emma want to go to prom why not
00:53:38let's get these lovebirds together
00:53:44hi mr edmund hi max and max's friend sorry we weren't expecting you cole's grounded
00:53:51oh he is but it was his 18th birthday today what can i say max actions have consequences
00:53:59birthday or no cole is grounded well that really sucks because he's uh also the president of the
00:54:07prom committee we were supposed to review budgets today cole my son cole reviewing budgets he's never
00:54:16reviewed a budget a day in his life well mr edmunds today could be that day and we just have
00:54:20to give
00:54:20him back this school sanctioned laptop so we can get back to his very important and very respectable
00:54:25budgetary work
00:54:35go away
00:54:40max what what are you guys doing here happy birthday cole i brought you my laptop and logged into your
00:54:46castle
00:54:46claimers account just get it back to me by tomorrow
00:54:49what what what's going on dude it's your 18th birthday you can tell hayley who you are now you can
00:54:54be
00:54:54together just log into this stupid game and tell the girl who you love who you really are
00:55:00no i'll tell her myself stick me in your car
00:55:10welcome all the wizard
00:55:14mom i'm fine i just need some time alone
00:55:25open the door wait what
00:55:29he's here
00:55:37it's you
00:55:39i should have given you this to you a long time
00:55:43hayley i wanted to tell you who i was from the very beginning
00:55:46my dad threatened off all your mom and i had to wait a really long time
00:55:50to tell you who i was i got my inheritance
00:55:53and i can protect you and your family and so you don't have to choose
00:56:09i understand if this changes things
00:56:12if you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard but
00:56:19look i need you to know i love you
00:56:32cool i love you
00:56:34you do
00:56:36yes you idiot i've loved you for months i mean this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing
00:56:43though because i had to be loyal to him and
00:56:46but you're him
00:56:48but you're him
00:56:48you didn't expect her
00:56:50i i mean i i always hoped it was you
00:56:55until you hoped
00:56:56yes i hoped it was you
00:57:00you were always there for me
00:57:02you were always there for me
00:57:04you're hot and
00:57:06you're really fucking hot
00:57:11hey uh
00:57:12one of those things i said we could do
00:57:16here we go
00:57:16yeah
00:57:20i'll take my clothes off
00:57:22you're getting there don't worry
00:57:26i'm so real you
00:57:28just be on me
00:57:31oh i'm so real you
00:57:34oh
00:57:34oh
00:57:36oh
00:57:45okay so
00:57:47what do you think
00:57:4810 out of 10 yeah
00:57:50yeah would do again
00:57:52okay sex with sex with me specifically
00:57:54i've only ever had sex with you specifically
00:57:58all right all right that's fair i'll uh
00:58:01i'll take that as a one
00:58:07what is my life now am i being nice to cole eggnance
00:58:10hmm oh god no i i fully expect you to
00:58:14continue to berate me endlessly
00:58:17now i'll just i'm just lost behind it
00:58:20there's always been lost behind it
00:58:21i'll take a minute
00:58:22stop it
00:58:26um
00:58:28same
00:58:29isn't promenade
00:58:31i think you know if it's promenade
00:58:34okay
00:58:36but the real question is do you got a date
00:58:40cole are you asking me to prom
00:58:42oh i would have asked you earlier but jay kind of gave me to the show
00:58:46oh god please don't mention his name again i don't want to hear it
00:58:49yeah you don't have to ask me twice
00:58:51but i don't even have a dress
00:58:54later
00:58:59i just slept with cole edmonds and i'm in love with cole edmonds
00:59:03who would have guessed
00:59:07i thought
00:59:09only the best for my princess
00:59:11where did you get that
00:59:13ah i might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you
00:59:19might have wanted to go to prom with me and maybe had nothing to wear
00:59:24of course they'll go to prom with you
00:59:31mr edmonds i didn't expect you to be here
00:59:34cole are you here
00:59:37cole are you here
00:59:40mr
00:59:40mr
00:59:40you can't just bark into my house like this
00:59:43i see you cole you are in big trouble
01:00:01hey uh you almost done in there
01:00:04you try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes
01:00:10okay i'm ready
01:00:22what do you think
01:00:26my god hayley you are the most beautiful thing i have ever seen
01:00:32uh-uh-uh i just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick you're not messing it up
01:00:37for at
01:00:37least 20 minutes 20 more minutes we're in
01:00:41thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes i hear we have a winner
01:00:53and your 2026 prom queen is
01:01:00thank you guys so much seriously this makes the world to me i mean like who else would win right
01:01:11oh this is just the perfect moment
01:01:17oh my god that's hayley and cole
01:01:21it was five since where's your dad what is this
01:01:28hey uh most time that's up no but who cares
01:01:39ew literally what the
01:01:40i am the queen okay she's just a little pervy princess come on everyone say it with me
01:01:48pervy princess pervy princess pervy princess
01:01:57wait wait wait wait what are those those are texts between me and my dad
01:02:02make cole edmunds fall in love with you his dad's month is essential to funding my campaign
01:02:08don't worry daddy if i can't have it no one can i'm gonna destroy hayley rott's life is this real
01:02:18jen's crazy who did this who did this
01:02:26what you exploited me for a hacking job and didn't think i was gonna hack your phone you little skit
01:02:32you know jen as the principal i'm supposed to remain impartial and above all of this petty drama
01:02:40but quite frankly you are the worst and i think it's time that you are expelled from edmunds academy
01:02:49you can't do that you can't do that i'm the principal so uh yes i can
01:03:11look at that he's not a check
01:03:18oh my gosh there was no wintering shit you lied to me
01:03:24prince oh yeah no can do all i have to offer is a lowly knight with a chip on his
01:03:30shoulder
01:03:31and a awesome sense of humor oh how can i refuse
01:03:41oh no that's my dad
01:03:45we are going home right now you disobeyed me for the last time boy yeah i'm not a boy dad
01:03:53you talk all the time about wanting a man that's worthy of the family last name
01:03:57yet you can't see i've already become that man and it's because of hailey and you can accept that
01:04:04i'll make my own path and best believe me i can i'll say this it's the most backbone i've ever
01:04:11seen
01:04:12in you cole joy pro
01:04:23i am so proud of you
01:04:26i can't have done without you being by my side that was terrifying
01:04:31it's not like we haven't slayed a dragon before well so
01:04:35i love you biada queen i love you guacamole wizard oh my god i gotta change that username yeah you
01:04:42do
01:04:42okay
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