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00:03Oh, my God.
00:3390% of it is a wonderful, relaxing experience with just 10% assault.
00:39Woo-hoo!
00:42We're here, baby.
00:43Most travelers avoid bad reviews.
00:46Let's see what the review says.
00:47One star.
00:48One star.
00:48One star.
00:49I've never seen anything more stupid.
00:50If I could give it zero stars, I would.
00:52But not us.
00:53I'm a woman in a man's world.
00:55I make up my own mind.
00:56I'm Sarah Pascoe.
00:58I'm brilliant at this.
00:59I'm Roisin Conaty.
01:01Come on, fishy, fishy.
01:02We're comedians, but more importantly, best friends.
01:06As someone who has received bad reviews, I will always try to look to the good.
01:09So we're turning the tables on the review sites.
01:12They were so busy typing in their phone only that they forgot to look out.
01:15And visiting places based on the worst reviews.
01:18I'm closer.
01:19It's nothing to be afraid of.
01:21My review is 100 stars.
01:23But will this Journey of Salvation be a five star fun fest?
01:27I'm an absolute killer.
01:28Yes!
01:30Yes!
01:30Or are we in for a holiday from hell?
01:33Yes!
01:35Yes!
01:36Go, go, go, go!
01:37Go, go, go!ock!
01:52Istanbul,
01:53baby! It's
01:54absolutely present, isn't it? It's
01:56got a lot going on. It smells
01:58delicious! Yes!
02:01I would like to eat some lovely Turkish food.
02:05Am I getting helim?
02:06You betcha.
02:06Am I getting sujuk?
02:07You betcha.
02:08Am I getting Ashkandar?
02:09You betcha.
02:10I think I'm going to get run over.
02:11Am I going to get run over?
02:12You betcha.
02:16Over 18 million tourists per year travel to Istanbul,
02:20the only major city in the world that straddles two continents,
02:24Asia and Europe.
02:26Which one online reviewer says is smelly,
02:29packed and gave her husband food poisoning.
02:31So we're here to find out if she's right.
02:33We've got reviews, optimism and a jumbo pack of Imodium.
02:39Sarah, what's the name of the hotel?
02:41Uh, Elite.
02:43It's like a comedy show.
02:44We're hung.
02:45That's great.
02:46I'm going to love it.
02:47Only we were not laughing.
02:49I don't like my gigs.
02:51We're staying at the Elite World Hotel.
02:53And at first glance, it looks luxurious.
02:57Opulent, in fact.
03:00But we're here because this five-star hotel has a secret.
03:05Oh, the lobby looks nice.
03:07Is that reassuring?
03:11I think this is stunning.
03:12It is pretty.
03:15It is pretty.
03:15It's very five-star-y.
03:16Yeah.
03:17Glamour.
03:20Oh, oh, oh, oh.
03:23Yeah.
03:30They've all had hair transplants.
03:31Yeah.
03:34Close.
03:35What's that stare?
03:36It's a hair transplants about a hotel.
03:38Imagine you come on your honeymoon.
03:42All the vans are for the clinic.
03:44What have you signed me up for?
03:46This isn't me.
03:47I'm anti-plastic surgery.
03:48This isn't me.
03:49I think you're all beautiful as you are.
03:52Not you.
03:53You've made the right.
03:56Plastic surgery, in terms of beauty treatments,
03:58is probably one of the biggest tourist attractions in Istanbul.
04:02And the hotel we're staying at has got loads of people
04:05who are ostensibly on holiday,
04:08have come from other countries to get hair transplants,
04:11to get all different kinds of surgery.
04:13In fact, hair transplants make up half of Turkey's medical tourism industry,
04:18worth over $1 billion a year.
04:21That's a lot of cash sloshing around.
04:23Speaking of sloshing around,
04:25we're off to Istanbul's legendary waterway, the Bosphorus.
04:29The only time I've ever missed a flight was in Istanbul.
04:31Left the hotel five hours before my flight and wasn't even close to making it.
04:35Taxi driver gave me a packet of cigarettes to ease the stress.
04:38Start smoking.
04:40You're never going to make your plane.
04:41You're going to live here and you're going to smoke.
04:44Sometimes you don't move for up to 20 minutes and up.
04:47That's not even the worst part.
04:48The constant honking while nothing is moving is.
04:51Well, we've not heard any honking.
04:52It's all been very civilised.
04:54There's the honking.
04:56Wow, guys.
04:57You manifested it.
04:59That is...
05:00What you focus on, Frostbors.
05:02Now you point it out, everyone's honking.
05:04Let's get the honking on.
05:04That has not noticed before.
05:07Everyone's honking 24-7.
05:09OK.
05:09How did I not notice that?
05:11It's a honk-off.
05:12It's a honk-off.
05:13This place be honking.
05:15Thankfully, I've got a more peaceful way of getting around the sights.
05:21Water bikes on the Bosphorus.
05:23Yep.
05:23That sounds fun, isn't it?
05:25Beautiful open water.
05:27You seem to be skipping over the word water bikes.
05:29Well, I'm really hoping to get out of it.
05:31It's 45 minutes of seeing all the best parts of Istanbul.
05:34I've done it.
05:34Tick it off the list.
05:42Hello.
05:43Hello.
05:43Hello.
05:44We're here to do the water bikes?
05:45Yes.
05:46And this is not like a normal bicycle.
05:48You are doing back, and this boat is going back, and you are doing forward.
05:52This boat goes forward.
05:53That's easy, right?
05:55And this is like that.
05:56I'll take your photos with your phone.
05:57It's very sunshine photos.
05:59Totally 45 minutes.
06:00Has anyone ever fallen in the water?
06:02No.
06:02I believe that we could be the first people to fall in ever off a water bike in the Bosphorus.
06:07Yes.
06:07I've never seen anything like this.
06:09It's a bike.
06:12It's a boat.
06:13And it's a decking for your back garden.
06:16When I first saw the bike, I thought, oh, yeah.
06:19It's just an ironing board on a lilo.
06:21You should go first, and she's come to be outside, OK?
06:25OK.
06:25You're leading.
06:26I don't know if that's the best of the plan.
06:28Oh, OK.
06:29Don't.
06:29I'd rather not be out on my own.
06:30OK.
06:31All right.
06:31Are you OK?
06:32Yep.
06:33OK.
06:33Roshan, right behind you.
06:35OK.
06:35Careful, Sarah.
06:36Careful.
06:36I'm not going to crash into you.
06:38Imagine if we drove cars, Roshan.
06:41How dangerous the roads would be.
06:43I'm backing up.
06:44OK.
06:45It's one of the dirtiest waterways in the world.
06:47So the jeopardy of falling in is more than it's ever been.
06:51It's time to get out of this canal and onto the Bosphorus, if we can.
06:56There's a big boat coming.
06:58OK, you should be left.
06:59We've got right of way because we're basically pedestrians.
07:02You should go left.
07:03Left?
07:04This way?
07:04Ma'am.
07:05Left?
07:06Left?
07:06Go left.
07:07I have to let the boat past?
07:08Yeah.
07:09I'm making a TV programme.
07:11It should wait for me.
07:12I don't think it's that relaxing.
07:14Do you not feel relaxed?
07:15No, and there's a canoe coming towards me as well.
07:18I've got a boat and a canoe.
07:20We're just drifting.
07:21We're just drifting embarrassingly.
07:23There's another boat.
07:23There's loads of boats.
07:25Oh, no, now we're going to stop doing it.
07:27No, we shouldn't be going down here, but I'm going to have to back out.
07:30Oh, Roshan.
07:31Right, I'm backing out.
07:32Of course it's not safe.
07:33Don't crash into the back of me.
07:35And this boat's about to hit us.
07:36I don't know my left from right.
07:37Can you tell him I don't know my left from right?
07:39All of a sudden, it was rush hour.
07:41You are about to hit a canoe.
07:42You're going to hit a canoe.
07:43You're going to hit a canoe.
07:43Sorry, I can't avoid you, canoe.
07:46Hellish.
07:47Hellish.
07:47It's hellish.
07:49I think the key is to go fast and make people avoid us.
07:53I'm happy here.
07:55Roche, I'm on the open water.
07:57Catch me up.
07:58There's a canoe.
08:00Can someone help me?
08:02Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
08:03There's a canoe and a boat.
08:05I can't even see you, Roshan.
08:08I'm coming back for you.
08:09I'm turning as fast as I can.
08:12There's a fast boat coming.
08:14I mean...
08:14I'm turning as fast as I can.
08:18Sarah, this is the worst.
08:23Maybe this way's better.
08:25Is this way better?
08:26Back and right.
08:27Right.
08:28I don't know my right from left.
08:30I can't see anything.
08:31There's another bloody ship coming.
08:33It's going to be the side.
08:34But what are the rules of the water?
08:36No problem.
08:37Sarah, at least you've got some action.
08:38I've been parked up for most of it.
08:40Come on, join the fun.
08:41It's just dodging boats.
08:42I keep trying to and I keep getting bullied back in.
08:44Careful.
08:45You're going to squish me.
08:46We did struggle to command the water.
08:48Have you ever tried to drive an ironing board?
08:50I'm coming, Sarah.
08:51Come.
08:54Okay.
08:54Where is she?
08:56Where is she?
08:58Where's my friend?
09:01It's like a spin class.
09:03A hellish spin class.
09:05It's like SoulCycle with Jeopardy.
09:08Ma'am, you should do back.
09:10Do it back.
09:11You again.
09:13You're very bossy.
09:14Me and Ibo, our guy fell out right from the beginning, really.
09:18Call me Madam.
09:19Madam's my mother.
09:21And yeah, just telling me right, left, backwards, forwards.
09:24I don't respond well to alpha males.
09:27I'm in a woman in a man's world.
09:29I make up my own mind.
09:31Right, this is it.
09:32The open water, Roisin.
09:34This is why we came on holiday.
09:36Oh, my God.
09:37Roisin, it's the sea.
09:39Finally, we've made it to the Bosphorus.
09:42You get down the end and it's really beautiful.
09:44It is, you get to the main waterway and it's open water and you're on an ironing board.
09:51And you feel like Tom Hanks in Castaway.
09:53You're like, I shouldn't be allowed out here.
09:59The time has come to ironing board our way to some Byzantine history.
10:04So there was a moment where it did get really good.
10:08I got to the end of the waterway.
10:10I could see the expanse of the rippling blue ocean.
10:18It's about to get amazing.
10:21Turn it back.
10:22My time was up.
10:24I had to turn around and come back.
10:25Saying turn back, what do you want us to do?
10:28Okay, so we've mainly had a tour of the canal.
10:31We haven't made it to the UNESCO World Heritage Sites,
10:34but we have seen a lot of angry canoeists.
10:37And there's the trip back down the canal to enjoy.
10:41Roisin's chatting the locals up.
10:43He's got the broom out for me.
10:49He's going to shoo me away.
10:57Here I am, getting the brush off, as per.
10:59Thank you so much. Thank you.
11:01I think if it had been very relaxing, it might not have been as memorable.
11:07Yeah, she leapt off that boat like a baby deer.
11:12Oh, my God, I've got survivor's euphoria.
11:14Yeah.
11:14Sorry about my attitude.
11:15No problem.
11:16Oh, you got off nice and graceful.
11:17I crawled off.
11:18He hates me.
11:19I've made a really powerful enemy on the water.
11:22My legs are all shaky like a spin class.
11:25Well, we've worked hard.
11:27It was absolutely...
11:28A long, long time on the river.
11:30I thought that was all the things.
11:32It was chaotic, terrifying and brilliant.
11:35I was like, this is so boring, this waterway.
11:37It's full of other canoeists and other boats.
11:39Oh, my God, why would anyone do this?
11:41And then right at the end, I was like, oh, my God, it's amazing.
11:53We're in Istanbul, exploring the European side of the city,
11:57and we're starting with an ancient Turkish tradition.
12:01Every country I've ever been to, I go to a fortune teller.
12:03And do you find...
12:04Looking for a new story, you know?
12:06Yeah, do you find that they all say the same thing?
12:08Pretty much.
12:09You're like, I'll try again.
12:10I'm in Istanbul.
12:11Oh, here we go.
12:14Cheers.
12:15Cheers.
12:15Do you like Turkish coffee?
12:17Oh, boy, oh, boy, do I.
12:18Why is yours bigger?
12:21Maybe they like me more.
12:23This is not a good start.
12:25This is an absolutely shocking start to the trip.
12:28It's so gritty.
12:30Mmm.
12:31Look at my teeth.
12:32Look at my teeth.
12:34That's my future.
12:36I've drunk my future.
12:38Oh, you're going to meet a lovely guy.
12:41And he's going to say you've got something on your teeth.
12:45Coffee reading is the ancient Turkish art of telling people's fortunes
12:49by looking at the sludge in the bottom of a coffee cup.
12:53Remember, people didn't have the internet for ages.
13:02Oh, hello.
13:03Hello.
13:04Love me to meet you.
13:05I'm Roisin.
13:06This is Sarah.
13:07Gamze.
13:07This is Sarah.
13:08Sarah.
13:09Local psychic Gamzee gets straight down to business.
13:34I've gone to fortune tellers all over the world, and normally, they sort of show a little bit of interest.
13:53I know she didn't try and guess one single thing.
13:56She said if I had a sister, and then she's going to have a good business, and that was it.
13:58Will I ever go to the Nashville Country Music Awards?
14:08Is that your dream?
14:10As a guest or a performer?
14:14OK.
14:15You need to learn to play the guitar.
14:16Oh, can I get it?
14:17Get that hat.
14:18She's a nice Amina, but 50 euros, she's out of her mind.
14:22What's her name?
14:23What's her name?
14:36Sarah.
14:37Fortune teller or super fan?
14:39She basically fell in love with me.
14:43Wow.
14:44Oh, my dreams gone true.
14:46Nice. Must be nice.
14:47Sarah's in for a lovely time. An absolute lovely time.
14:51Seriously, why is her sludge so much better than my sludge?
14:54We're looking for adventure in Istanbul. What should we do?
15:04A magic tree that Grant's wishes. On to the itinerary, it goes. Seems like we're all really busying up.
15:12You need a receptionist.
15:14Alo.
15:14I think she might be a receptionist.
15:17She's giving them my reading.
15:25My woman area. Be specific.
15:33Well, I'm guessing the poor reviews are for the constant phone calls.
15:41Messages, WhatsApps, actual calls.
15:45And she's answering halfway through a sentence.
15:48And it could be quite important.
15:49Like, you've got a huge problem with your health.
15:52Hello?
15:59You were saying I had really good energy.
16:03Sorry.
16:05Sorry.
16:07Right. We know we're not wanted.
16:11So we've left Gamzee to it and we're taking our women's parts off on a tour of the worst
16:15reviewed spots on the European side of the city.
16:18Have the review sites done them wrong?
16:27Well, the internet says that one of the things that tourists do
16:29in Istanbul is you go to, like, traditional Turkish barbers.
16:36Which is like a male beautician's.
16:39Yes.
16:40Sounds nice.
16:41So, hairy men.
16:41Hairy men.
16:42And we are delicate ladies.
16:45I'll show you, my lady.
16:46Thank you, my love.
16:47Hello.
16:48Hello.
16:49How are you doing?
16:50I'm Roisin.
16:51This is Sarah.
16:52Ziki and Sarah.
16:53Hello.
16:54Yes, hello.
16:54So this is a traditional Turkish barber.
16:56Yes.
16:56Yes.
16:56Okay.
16:57Yes, okay.
16:57I instantly saw the barber and wanted to run away.
17:01The chairs were sellotaped together.
17:02I don't know how hygienic it was either.
17:05I've never been in a barber's before.
17:06Yeah.
17:07Have you?
17:07Yeah.
17:09Wax?
17:10Why did you look at me and say wax?
17:13He went, wax.
17:14Oh, you have to pretend we don't need anything done.
17:17This is like a broken chair.
17:18A man with a towel is sort of going to me, you need your whole face done.
17:21I've got to make out, like, what could you ladies even be here for?
17:24But he's like, wax.
17:25Wax.
17:26Yeah.
17:26I'm going to get my nose done.
17:28No, no.
17:28Yeah, wax.
17:29I'm going to get it done.
17:30Are you?
17:31Yeah, I think I've got a few stragglers.
17:33There's no, uh...
17:34There is no, just no lubing me up straight in.
17:36There's no, like, relaxing music playing?
17:39No, it's business.
17:41Magazines.
17:41Would you like some tea, madam?
17:43I quite like it.
17:45Do you?
17:45More business-like?
17:46Oh, okay, okay.
17:48Oh, nice.
17:48Yes, it is.
17:49Should we have a, um, safe word, Roche?
17:52Works.
17:53Not my lips.
17:54No, my lips are...
17:55This is not the...
17:56This is not ideal.
17:57I get laser treatment, thank you very much.
18:00I did get a treatment, if that's what we're calling what just happened to me.
18:02So he's got, like, a little globule on a cotton bud and he's blowing it.
18:06This feels like a really bad choice.
18:07You're very brave.
18:09Don't break my little nose.
18:10Oh, my God.
18:11Well, she does have a very small nose, but much smaller than not only men,
18:14but also normal-sized women.
18:15What have I agreed to?
18:17I'm on holiday.
18:19No, nothing else.
18:20Nothing else.
18:22It's not great for the confident, though.
18:23I can't watch this now.
18:24I can't watch.
18:25Oh, you're okay.
18:26Do you need me to hold your hand?
18:26I was really sore.
18:29Wow, I was really sore.
18:30Really?
18:31Oh, my God, amazing.
18:33I think it made my nose bigger.
18:34Wow.
18:34You're not getting wined and dined.
18:36You're getting...
18:36You're getting the hairs ripped out of your face publicly.
18:40Dogs sort of looking in the window.
18:43No, I'm all... I'm good. You'll never see me again.
18:46Thank you very much.
18:47That's not how I want to get waxed.
18:49Absolutely not.
18:50By someone just dipping, shoving it everywhere.
18:53That's no.
18:54Well, your go.
18:55That's fair.
18:56And I'm...
18:57Okay, thank you.
18:58You're okay, thank you.
18:59Okay, see you later.
19:01The chairs are set up taped together.
19:03This is because your fortune teller told you you're lucky.
19:05I'm very lucky that you went first, because I don't want to do it.
19:08Sarah watched me and said, absolutely no way.
19:10I can't. I can't, Roche.
19:13It's bleeding, just that one.
19:14Thank you, sir.
19:17Bye-bye, bye-bye.
19:17Unbelievable.
19:19It turns out I love my hairy nose. Come on.
19:25It's lunchtime, and how better to show off my beautiful new nostrils
19:30than with a trip to Sir Dancy Mehmet,
19:32a famous food spot that has definitely got tongues wagging on the review sites.
19:37So, a lot of these are one stars, people wishing they'd never gone.
19:40You know, really regretting their experience.
19:43Um, definitely do not try it, says another one-star review.
19:46You're not the boss of me. I'm trying it.
19:48It's pretty busy, isn't it?
19:50Smoky. It's like stars in their eyes.
19:53Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be disgusted by the food.
19:58First up, the appetisers.
20:00Come on.
20:02Thank you very much.
20:03So, this is a drink of yoghurt and milk and salt.
20:11Mmm!
20:17It's yoghurt with salt.
20:20It's sort of delicious.
20:21Is it?
20:22But also mad.
20:24Absolutely bonkers.
20:26Mad, yeah.
20:26Little did I know, this was only starter-level mad.
20:30I think it's raw meatballs.
20:32It can't be raw.
20:33I can't.
20:34Raw meatballs.
20:36OK, I'm not eating raw meatballs.
20:37You've got meatballs.
20:39And then you say, what if we don't cook them?
20:41A lot more.
20:42No, no, no, we're good.
20:44They've misinterpreted you saying raw meatballs to bring more.
20:47There's some absolute meals going around this restaurant.
20:50I just saw sausages that are like 20 long fingers.
20:52They're awful. It's awful.
20:54It's not sausages.
20:55It's all innards.
20:56Oh.
20:58Yeah.
21:00It's really good.
21:01And he does look a lot of fun, this guy.
21:03Very fine, the staff.
21:04What's that?
21:04What's happening? What's happening?
21:06No, no, no.
21:06Then there was another mystery-looking yoghurt.
21:09I thought, well, this is more yoghurt.
21:10It wasn't yoghurt.
21:11Not yoghurt.
21:12Not yoghurt?
21:13Not yoghurt.
21:16What's happened?
21:17Meat.
21:17Meat happened.
21:18Meat in this white sauce?
21:20I just wasn't expecting it.
21:21White liquid meat.
21:23It was yoghurt texture with stew flavour.
21:30And my brain said, taxi.
21:34That bread's very lovely.
21:35What's this?
21:36This is lovely.
21:37Really, really tasty.
21:38Onions and tomato.
21:40Now they're all, like, undisguised.
21:41I feel like this could be cereal.
21:43Oh, yeah, like that show, like, is it cake?
21:46Is it yoghurt?
21:47Is it yoghurt?
21:49Yeah, game shows don't make the best dining experiences.
21:52We beat a hasty retreat before any more mystery foods came out.
21:57And luckily, I've got the perfect non-gross pampering session lined up.
22:02Leeches is something that you can't get in very many places in the world.
22:06Turkey might be known for its medical services, but these little guys are less popular.
22:12It's a good thing.
22:14Ding, ding, ding.
22:15Is there a bell or something?
22:16Oh, sorry.
22:18Hoş geldiniz.
22:19Hello.
22:20Leech.
22:21Leech.
22:22So, we entered the clinic full of hope and interest, actually.
22:28You hear a lot about proper medicine.
22:30You don't hear a lot about bloodletting anymore.
22:34Leech.
22:35Leech.
22:36Leech.
22:36Leech.
22:37Leech.
22:39Leech?
22:39Leech.
22:40Leech.
22:40Leech.
22:41Leech, OK.
22:42Leech, OK, leech.
22:43OK.
22:44Leech, OK.
22:45OK.
22:45OK.
22:46OK.
22:46Leech?
22:47Leech.
22:48Leech, OK.
22:48OK.
22:49I decided there and then, I will never say the word leech again.
22:53Unfortunately, it was time to get leeched.
22:55So, I thought about to.
22:57It felt really great, actually, because I knew I wasn't going to get the leeches.
23:02Sisters, no.
23:03No.
23:04Leeches.
23:07She wishes.
23:13Oh, are you a doctor?
23:17I don't know that he is a real doctor.
23:24He could just be a man.
23:26He popped out of nowhere.
23:27He said leech a few times.
23:29Sülük, why do you want to make leech?
23:31Fortune teller told me that in a few months' time, I'm going to have problems with my
23:36woman's areas.
23:37So, it would be great to sort of be prepped.
23:40It would be great to sort of be prepped.
23:43Great.
23:45Istanbul is actually a hot spot for leech therapy.
23:47The practice boomed during the so-called leech craze in the 19th century and is relatively
23:52common to this day.
23:54Leeches are said to improve blood flow and are used to treat everything from cardiovascular
23:58diseases to, if you're brave enough, hemorrhoids.
24:03Cacot.
24:04I'll see you later, there's going to be a leech change in a second.
24:09Because I'm a vegan and I don't eat animals, I do feel this is a bit like me giving them
24:13something back, right?
24:14You take my blood for a change.
24:16Yeah, stick another one on.
24:17Oh God, this one looks more aggressive.
24:20I don't know if it's worse to watch.
24:23That one's just getting bigger.
24:25It was supposed to be.
24:25I'm feeding.
24:26They're feeding on me, Roche.
24:27They're going to be the size of a garden slug by the end, hopefully.
24:30I don't think they are feeding on you.
24:31You think they're turning their nose up because they don't eat any protein?
24:34I think there's not enough.
24:36We're just mating.
24:38I've turned the leeches on.
24:40They looked like they were mating on her, so it was kind of, I'll be honest, erotic.
24:46I can feel teeth in my skin.
24:48There's definitely something happening.
24:50Oh, now he's in, now he's in.
24:51It's a very strange sensation because it's not not a sensation.
24:55You can feel something, so you can feel little prickles and then I think it's like a massive
24:58mosquito.
24:59There's a free one.
25:00There's one loose.
25:01There's a loose leech.
25:03Loose leech.
25:03There's two loose leeches.
25:05What's this guy doing in this place?
25:07Just a couple got away and I thought, this is exciting stuff.
25:10If I hadn't seen it, there'd be in your, there was two.
25:13There'd be up people's legs.
25:14Guys, watch out for leeches.
25:18All those certificates, you're not keeping an eye on them, are you?
25:22My review of this clinic, it's two leeches out of five.
25:28It's our third day in Istanbul and back at transplant towers, we've managed to make a friend.
25:34So we're staying in a hotel where you can't swing a cap without hitting a guy who's had a hair
25:38transplant.
25:39So today we've ensnared one, Chris, and we're going to follow him and, you know, watch him have it done.
25:45I'm heading over to Vera Clinic today to get my consultation for my second hair transplant.
25:49Oh, really?
25:50You're American?
25:50Yes, I'm from the USA.
25:51I flew out of Boston just yesterday.
25:53You came all the way to Turkey.
25:54I did, I did.
25:55I'm super excited.
25:56Do you mind if we come?
25:57Let's do it.
25:59Why did you come to Turkey for a hair transplant?
26:01In the States, it's extremely expensive to get a hair transplant.
26:04How much?
26:05Around 20 to 30K for this operation and in Turkey, it's around 5K.
26:10Wow.
26:10So, yeah.
26:11So it's cheap.
26:11And it's the exact same operation. It takes about eight hours for the whole operation.
26:15You're awake the whole time.
26:16What do you do for eight hours?
26:17They have a TV playing with some stuff, but usually it's, you know, in a different language to be honest.
26:22They make you watch Turkish television for eight hours.
26:25Yeah, a little bit.
26:26It makes me sad that some people really want hair and I've got so much that I don't want.
26:31The world's not fair.
26:32That's what I said. I said to everybody, I'm like, I got hair everywhere where I don't want hair.
26:36But I didn't have any on my head.
26:40Chris has shared his hair regrowth journey on his TikTok account, which has tens of thousands
26:45of followers. Go on, Chris.
26:46And this is his second hair transplant.
26:49Very brave considering what the procedure involves.
26:51A surgeon individually extracting thousands of follicles from the lower scalp
26:56and then implanting them in the required area.
26:58Like a French exchange, only permanent.
27:01But what is it actually like in one of these places?
27:06Oh, swanky.
27:09It's a bit like being at the vet, you know, when all the animals are in their cones.
27:12There are a lot of very sore heads.
27:15You brought a friend, didn't you?
27:16I did, yes.
27:17So it is like a proper holiday because you've got a friend with me.
27:19Exactly, exactly.
27:20Because we get to have a good time and go to some tourist attractions like we did yesterday.
27:24We went to the, I believe it's called the Sophia or something like that.
27:26The Sophia.
27:27Yeah, yeah.
27:28And we went, there was all, we went to a nice restaurant, had dinner outside.
27:32It was awesome.
27:32I guess I'm getting a bit of a taste of what it's like for people to come here,
27:35because it's partly a holiday.
27:3720%, 80% medical procedure.
27:40Nice to meet you.
27:40Nice to meet you too if you're ready, sir.
27:42I'll take you to doctor's consultation for a stamp stamp.
27:45Awesome.
27:45Good luck, Chris.
27:45Thank you guys, I appreciate it.
27:47I'll see you guys soon, all right?
27:48See you in a bit.
27:50And while Chris gets ready, we've got just enough time to check out the clinic's cabaret area.
27:57Sarah, there's a piano to let me know you're on holiday.
28:00Come on.
28:03Join me.
28:05Join me at the table.
28:06I'm going to stand here.
28:07Are you going to sing?
28:08Do you know I need a hair row?
28:12Get in your hair done.
28:16I learnt I had real music abilities to soothe.
28:18Get in your hair done.
28:22That's beautiful.
28:23Don't be scared.
28:26I felt all of their attention leave their body when they heard my tunes.
28:29Get in your hair done.
28:34Get in your hair done.
28:38Get in your hair done.
28:39Don't be scared.
28:43Get in your hair done.
28:45There's a lot of men who just stopped crying.
28:47Not only is there a piano, we found an iced coffee bar in this clinic.
28:51We are on holiday.
28:52Hello.
28:53What are you doing?
28:53We've got some iced coffee.
28:55Oh, there you go.
28:56A little juice for the day, right?
28:57We can post you some music.
28:59Oh, okay.
29:00On the piano.
29:01Oh, you did?
29:02So now they're about to take some blood from me and I'm going to be getting the stem cell
29:06treatments.
29:07So you have your bloods taken now.
29:08Don't let us stop you.
29:09We're just here on holiday watching.
29:14Before they start doing the hair transplant, you have to be completely bald.
29:17It's like backwards to go forwards.
29:19Never done this before, Chris.
29:20Yeah.
29:21You can do my legs afterwards.
29:23Okay, okay.
29:23You're lucky this isn't a Turkish barber.
29:25It'll be straight up your nose.
29:26We shaved him because it needed to be done.
29:29I'm breaking ground.
29:31I'm coming in, Chris.
29:32I'd go on holiday just to do this.
29:35To shave the heads of strangers.
29:37Yeah.
29:37Book me up, Thomas Cook.
29:39It's a bit like a petting zoo, but you get to shave a man.
29:42It's very stress relieving, shaving a human being.
29:45I had no idea.
29:46I now think there should be sort of like sanctuaries for busy businesswomen like myself.
29:50Get given a razor.
29:52And a kid, you know, just a student.
29:53He can't afford a hairdresser.
29:55I need to unwind.
29:56This is get me on Dragon's Den.
29:58And does it feel emotional seeing yourself like this?
30:00It's definitely, it definitely is a crazy feeling.
30:03How did you get it off and say,
30:04I'm traumatized.
30:07Does it feel emotional?
30:09Does it feel emotional?
30:11Let me just blow the rest out.
30:12Are you having any sort of as extensual?
30:16The time has come to leave Chris to his hairy destiny.
30:19And eight hours of Turkish telly.
30:21Oh, this is where we leave you.
30:23It's go time.
30:24It's now time for the operation.
30:26Nice to meet you guys, seriously.
30:27Good luck with the stem cells.
30:28Thank you so much.
30:29I appreciate it.
30:29Thank you so much.
30:30It was lovely to meet you.
30:31And thank you for the haircut.
30:32I feel very fresh.
30:33It's life-changing.
30:34If you're a 22-year-old man and you're really depressed and feeling sad about going bald,
30:39it seems like it's a proper establishment.
30:41It's not like he's going to wake up and he's got like a wig stapled on,
30:44or like tufts of hair or a tail or something, you know, which I'm sure some places won't be reputable.
30:50And no doubt, Chris's transplant will be a complete success thanks to our expert shaving.
30:55It's like painting and decorating.
30:5790% of it's in the prep.
31:05And as a reward for our hard work, we're off for a treatment that's a bit more our speed,
31:11a Turkish classic.
31:12Where are we going, Sarah?
31:14Traditional Turkish hamam, which is like, I think, like a day spa.
31:18Okay.
31:19But it's the kind of thing people do in Turkey.
31:21And people love this kind of stuff, don't they? So it must be really relaxing.
31:33It's very traditional.
31:36Two massages, please.
31:38Hamam.
31:39Hamam?
31:3922 euros is very cheap.
31:43That's the thing, isn't it? We're cheap. There's good cheap and there's dangerously cheap.
31:47This feels dangerous.
31:51This is what I imagine a really nice women's prison would look like.
32:10I think it evolved because there was one slab and so we did Sarah. I sort of had a cuck
32:21chair
32:22to watch my friend get lathered up. There's no way to watch this and not look like a pervert.
32:27Well, Roisin's role in the spa as a watcher, I think, unnerved us all.
32:32Do you like watching?
32:33Do you like watching?
32:33You rub her down.
32:34I'm going to pay good money for this.
32:35What's happening?
32:36Oh, oh.
32:37It's more of the unknown.
32:39Oh, it's a lot of suds.
32:41That is a lot of suds straight off the bat. No messing.
32:44But I see...
32:45No!
32:49I had no idea.
32:51It was so sick.
32:52I'm just frightened.
32:52It was a lovely lady. Tickled me to death with the biggest sponge I've ever seen.
32:57And it kept slapping me like I'd done something wrong.
33:01Here we go. Now we're clicking on gas.
33:03It was really fun to watch Sarah keep trying to close her eyes and then going like that.
33:06It was my favourite bit.
33:16What?
33:21Go on.
33:22Why do you think he's encouraging them to look like sadism?
33:25Because I think it's funny.
33:27I definitely feel like she's in charge.
33:29I think they're all like the dominatrix.
33:31I don't think.
33:31I've often thought that because I can get them to tell me to do my admin.
33:35It looks very much I've interrupted you on the toilet.
33:40There's something about watching someone really purposely try to relax
33:47that brings out in me something of, like, not on my watch.
33:50You should finish it.
33:51I think I should finish it.
33:53The clock does not get involved.
33:56I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
34:03I have to get Sarah now.
34:05I'm so sorry, I'll do it to me, I'll do it to me.
34:08I'll do it to me, forgive.
34:10I'll do it to me.
34:14She looked more confused by me chucking it over myself in my gown.
34:18She was like, what is happening? What game is this?
34:20I think that's our cue to leave.
34:27It's the last day of our Zero Stars experience in Istanbul,
34:30and we can deny destiny no longer.
34:33Gamzee, the phone-addicted fortune teller,
34:35has told us we must visit a local mystical island.
34:38So we're boarding the mystical ferry to meet our fate.
34:44So the island we're going to doesn't have any cars.
34:49So what you have is bikes.
34:51Yeah.
34:51But you cycle and you go to the monastery, which has got that wishing tree.
34:55You've got the fortune teller who loves you.
34:57My friend.
34:58Your best friend.
35:00She foretold you would make a wish.
35:02And it's a place loads of people go to, to make a special wish.
35:05We're like pilgrims.
35:06Yeah.
35:07We're like wish pilgrims.
35:09Would you like some reviews of this boat trip?
35:11Sure thing.
35:12This is one star horrible experience.
35:15After a disappointing day on the boat, we were unexpectedly forced to attend a fashion show.
35:22Before heading back to the bus.
35:24None of us are informed about this.
35:26They tried to sell us leather coats.
35:29The outrage.
35:30I mean.
35:31A fashion show.
35:32I hope we get made to go to a fashion show.
35:35Let's put one on with these guys.
35:38We've arrived at Buyukada, which in Turkish means big island.
35:44Such a poetic language.
36:01I'm looking out for bikes, wherever I can see them.
36:04I'm looking out for love.
36:06That man's offering you some doughnuts.
36:09I'll have it.
36:10Oh my God.
36:11I won't say no.
36:11Rose, you don't know what it is.
36:19I'm making a cooking programme now.
36:22It's really good.
36:24Sarah.
36:25I don't take food off strange men.
36:27I'm not a strange man.
36:28No, there he is.
36:30Come on.
36:30We've got bikes.
36:31It's really good.
36:32What's her name?
36:33Roisin.
36:35Roisin!
36:39The big island.
36:42That was a very big voice.
36:43I'm a big island.
36:45Hello, lady.
36:47How are you, lady?
36:49Oh, she's got...
36:52It's an old woman.
36:53It's an old woman.
36:58I love it.
36:59I'll eat the breasts.
37:02I'm not getting one.
37:03I don't want to be insulted in ice cream.
37:06I'm not insulted.
37:07I had enough of that at the waxing studio.
37:09What flavour's that blue one?
37:10Breast milk.
37:14I like these bikes because they've got flowers on the front.
37:18We're hiring bikes to take us to Big Island's big tourist attraction,
37:22a monastery where you can make a wish on a mystical wishing tree.
37:27Oh, that was broken.
37:29Well used, I'd say.
37:31Experienced bikes.
37:32We are here now.
37:33Follow the lines.
37:34You go from here to the top.
37:35OK.
37:36And come back.
37:37So it's a half an hour cycle.
37:39Nice 20 minute walk.
37:40Yeah.
37:40Make a wish.
37:41That's a nice day out.
37:43Sure.
37:43It's seven kilometres.
37:44Oh, OK.
37:45Go and come back.
37:46What?
37:46OK.
37:46There and back.
37:47So it's four kilometres.
37:49The wish.
37:49Think of your wish.
37:50Listen, before the ice cream, I was struggling with the idea of this.
37:53We set off, our baskets full of flowers, our hearts full of wishes,
37:58Roisin full of ice cream.
38:02Sorry, I'm driving on the wrong side of the road.
38:04It was humbling because Pasco flew up the hill.
38:08This is just sort of a low level hill and I'm already struggling.
38:12I don't know how much further I've got, Sarah.
38:21That's me done.
38:22You're sold with the idea of a bike.
38:24You think, well, it must be a really nice cycle route.
38:26It's not.
38:26Oh, it's so steep.
38:28There we go.
38:29Oh, I broke it.
38:31I'm becoming a danger.
38:33Oh, ah!
38:34Oh, God.
38:35We should be like, one, two, three.
38:37Ah!
38:38What have I done to it?
38:41Take it and hide it in a hedge.
38:43Oh, no!
38:44Don't worry, there's only seven and a half kilometres to go.
38:47Oh, no!
38:49Oh, what do you think?
38:52It's a vertical road to the monastery.
38:56Vertical.
38:57This is like last of the summer wine.
39:00We decided to walk our piles of scrap metal up the hill.
39:04Can't you see my wishes are already coming true?
39:06It's just more hills, Sarah.
39:17It's an insane way to travel.
39:19You're basically just bringing luggage.
39:28I'm going to make a wish.
39:29Yeah.
39:29No more hills.
39:35As the saying goes, when you're going through tough times, remember that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
39:45Not always.
39:46Oh, wow.
39:49This view is beautiful.
39:50Look at this side.
39:51Yeah.
39:51Because this side is really upsetting.
39:52No, it's confusing.
39:53It's really upsetting.
39:54It's really beautiful.
39:54And then there's loads of bins.
39:56Oh, my God, though.
39:56Who brought a mattress up here, Sarah?
39:59OK, we've ticked the sacred stained mattress off our list, but where is the magic wishing tree?
40:05That little one.
40:07That's the one from the picture.
40:08This one feels like the main one.
40:11There's lots of little ribbons and bows.
40:15They're not ribbons.
40:17And these are bounty wrappers.
40:20You're a favourite.
40:21Have you been here before?
40:22But look, Sarah.
40:22They are bounty wrappers.
40:24They're just junk.
40:25Whether it was the spirits at work or heat exhaustion, we were grateful to have reached the ancient bin bag
40:32tree.
40:33We made it.
40:34We did.
40:35We did.
40:36Thank you, God.
40:37So the wishing tree, the small wishing tree covered in rubbish.
40:42Amazing that we're now going to get our wishes to come true.
40:44Did you bring anything?
40:47Alas, we'd forgotten to bring our magic bin bag, so we had to make do.
40:52I've got a tampon.
40:54Tampon?
40:55Yeah.
40:56I've got a little bit of ribbon.
40:58Yeah, pretty.
40:59This has got like a string, which is why I thought it'd be perfect.
41:02Wishing.
41:03We're doing wishing.
41:07Wishing on the tree.
41:09I feel bad about tying the tampon and that's disrespectful.
41:12That's a romp for didn't me?
41:12You can't take me on holiday.
41:14Do you know what I'm wishing for?
41:15What?
41:16I wish I'd have got my nose waxed.
41:17I've regretted it for days.
41:19Yeah, I can smell a lot, actually.
41:21But I'm going to do my wish now.
41:22I'm really putting my whole spirit into it.
41:28Wishing, wishing, wishing on the tree.
41:32Thank you, tree.
41:35Would you like to hear some of the bad reviews of this place?
41:38Bad reviews?
41:38What's not to like?
41:40It won't surprise you that a lot of them are about the hill.
41:43It is very tiring.
41:44Walking is like death, someone's written.
41:46These are my people.
41:47Then with a comma, nothing else.
41:49So maybe they died halfway through the sentence, sadly.
41:52Let's see what else we've got.
41:53Don't go up the hill.
41:54Don't go up the hill.
41:55Don't go up the hill, everyone's saying.
41:58Too late for us.
41:59Can we have a look in the monastery?
42:01I don't think so.
42:02We're not monks.
42:02Is that real?
42:03Yeah.
42:04So this is it.
42:06What?
42:08This is the...
42:09This is it.
42:10No, no, no.
42:11Don't go in the monastery.
42:12But there's a church.
42:14We won't go in it.
42:15It's not for us.
42:16Why not?
42:17It's this.
42:18People walk up here just for this tree, Roche.
42:20Come off it.
42:21You brought me up here.
42:22I knew you didn't understand.
42:23You said the word monastery so many times.
42:26Because it's the tree at the monastery.
42:28But we could have gone to the tree at the road.
42:29The monastery's got nothing to do with the tree.
42:32I'm having...
42:33What do you mean?
42:34You can't go in it and light a candle, even.
42:36You cannot invite people up to a tree.
42:39Sarah, get the reviews up.
42:42Because I've got something to say.
42:52We've come to Turkey hoping to feel like new people.
42:55And I've discovered a lot about myself.
42:57I found out that I love shaving men, that canal boating is not for me.
43:02And that I could be a sex therapist for leeches.
43:05I would have wished more ambitiously if I knew they were all going to become true.
43:09I give this trip three and a half stars out of five.
43:12Apart from the non-monastery, I've had a good time.
43:16I got to watch Sarah get sapped about.
43:18And I was able to smell her fear all the better, thanks to a very no-nonsense barber.
43:22It's a solid four out of five for me.
43:26Sarah.
43:27Yeah.
43:27Do you know what it is now?
43:28Yeah.
43:29Downhill.
43:30Yeah.
43:30It's all downhill from here, as they say.
43:33And that is pleasure.
43:43Downhill.
43:43Downhill.
43:44Downhill.
43:45Downhill.
43:46Downhill.
43:48Downhill.
43:52Downhill.
43:55Downhill.
43:55Downhill.
43:56Downhill.
44:06Downhill.
44:07Downhill.
44:07Downhill.
44:07Downhill.
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