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00:02What a hell of a soul. Thank you for letting us be ourselves. So don't mind me if I repeat
00:08myself. These simple lines be good for your health. Keep them trying where I'm going to show. Live my life
00:14like I just don't care. The lie that I believe is never scared. Raise the noise at the moment they
00:19fear. Get up, shut up, you're not here. Get up, throw your hands in the air. Get up, get up,
00:26get up.
00:38Put on your Easter bonnet, make room for chocolate and cross your hot buns. It's Friday, we're live and it's
00:43time for the last leg.
00:46Tonight on the show, we'll hold space for the Artemis Moon mission, set the record straight about Iran and kick
00:54off our excitement at the upcoming World Cup.
00:57Plus we'll be joined by comedian Josh Pugh, TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online football sensation Steve Bracknell.
01:04On the show that likes to let you know what's really behind the news.
01:17G'day, I'm Adam Hills. Welcome to The Last Leg.
01:21The last Leg, the show that heard Marmite is going to be sold to an American company and thought some
01:25people will hate that deal but others will probably like it.
01:28With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe and the man who's surprising his kids this Sunday
01:32with an Easter leg hunt.
01:36Alex Brooker.
01:44Loads of news to cover tonight. I want to start with the news that we got this week from Carolyn
01:48who said,
01:48Is it okay that Josh likes to keep socks down his trousers?
01:54Caroline, of course, an ex-girlfriend.
01:58Sorry?
01:59Do you want to explain what you said?
02:00Oh yeah, sorry. Yeah, I didn't hear what, I was laughing at a joke, I didn't hear what you said.
02:03Oh, the amount of times I've heard that.
02:05Um, so, uh, this week, um, I was coming back from a tour show.
02:10Yep.
02:10Uh, the usual way I kind of de-stress after tour shows, I sit in the back of the car
02:14and I have a bowl of shreddies.
02:17Um, from a Tupperware box.
02:21You, you are rock and roll.
02:24Yeah, Jerry Seinfeld calledy once he's a lifestyle bear.
02:27And then I, I put my hand on my leg and I was like, that feels thick, that, um, no,
02:32come on.
02:34Oh, that's a shame.
02:36The family show.
02:37The material.
02:38And then I was like, there's something there.
02:40And I put my hand, because obviously normally you'd go up, but I was like, it's too, so I put
02:45my, I, I'll, I'll be honest, I did my flies, Adam.
02:47Right.
02:48Yeah.
02:48And I put my hand in and I pulled out a sock.
02:52Like that.
02:54It, it didn't bounce with that amount of, uh, the driver must have looked in his rear view mirror and
02:59thought, fuck me, he's enjoying them shreddies.
03:03Or he thought he takes his socks off in a weird way.
03:07So I, I'd gone my whole day.
03:09Yeah.
03:10I'd been with my family in the day and then I'd done the whole gig with a sock in the
03:13gusset of my trousers.
03:15That I hadn't known was there.
03:17Did, you didn't need the word gusset, did you?
03:18No, I didn't really.
03:20I saw you flinch.
03:23I always put my face in it then, it's been down my trousers.
03:26I love that you're going, oh, it was purely an accident there was a sock down my trousers.
03:31It seemed to be an aubergine down there.
03:33It wasn't like a rolled up football sock, it was like just a normal sock.
03:37Well, look, we, we talked about this during the week and knowing this, I've got you an end of series
03:40present.
03:41It's just there to your right.
03:42If you'd like to open it up, it's a pair of googly eyes that you can stick on.
03:46Oh, that's nice.
03:47Turn it into a character.
03:48So let's, let me stick these on.
03:49Yep.
03:50Where do I stick this, so if I was to stick one there.
03:52What, what's my end of series present?
03:54Oh, I've got you some googly fingers.
04:04So I just do it like this.
04:08Oh, look, there you go.
04:10Hello.
04:11Oh, amazing.
04:12That is actually, that, do you know what?
04:15Hello.
04:16What was it like in Josh's pants?
04:19I don't kiss and tell.
04:22How was this gig?
04:24Do you know what?
04:25He absolutely smashed it.
04:27And if you do want to go to Good Night Out, he's still on tour.
04:32And let me be clear, there is tickets available in Griffith.
04:35Did he treat you well down there?
04:38Yes, I, do you know what?
04:41Why have you got such a weird voice?
04:45Which one of us is that too?
04:48I feel like Kermit's getting a seat and desist letter out.
04:52All right, let's move on with the show.
04:54Before we move on, I don't normally say this, but I do need to do up my flies.
04:59So let's carry on, Hilsie.
05:01Okay, we are live, so send us any questions you want to ask us about the news.
05:06Sorry.
05:07I just pretended to catch my foreskin, sorry.
05:10Imagine after I was finally the bit of his body he lost.
05:16Message us on Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
05:19WhatsApp, the numbers, 07956175908.
05:22Or scan the QR code on the screen.
05:23For example, Ree said, is it okay that someone has made a break for it with 12 tonnes of Kit
05:28Kats?
05:28Yes, more than 400,000 Kit Kats went missing this week
05:32when a truck carrying the new range set off from central Italy
05:35but never reached its final destination in Poland.
05:38The brand issued a statement saying it's not a stunt
05:40and asked consumers to scan barcodes to help them find the stolen chocolate.
05:46I mean, I don't know how that's going to help.
05:47Most thieves will have melted them down by now.
05:51Can I say how nice it is to do a story about missing fingers on this show
05:55and it's not to do with me?
06:01News of the high sparked an online race.
06:03Other companies issued their own statements like this cheeky post from Domino's
06:06said we would like to share our thoughts and condolences with Kit Kat
06:09following their recent sad news.
06:11On a completely unrelated note, we're pleased to announce
06:13we'll now be selling a new Kit Kat pizza.
06:17Yes?
06:19You know how they can find the thieves, don't you?
06:22Just get a bounty hunter, huh?
06:26Lovely.
06:27Lovely.
06:28You know what?
06:31That is not my kind of humour.
06:37Unsurprisingly, Domino's started a chain reaction
06:38that led to this amusing post from Ryanair.
06:44I've got a lot of questions about that.
06:45Firstly, why has the plane taken a bite out of one end of the Kit Kat
06:48then put the other end in its mouth?
06:51And also, why are there five fingers?
06:54Which is a question we often ask on this show.
06:57Alright, let's get into the big story now.
06:59As fuel prices continue to rise, stock markets continue to fall,
07:02Catherine said,
07:06Yes, it is.
07:07We all need something different and happier
07:09to lighten the world at the moment.
07:10Yes, Catherine!
07:11The American government proved they can do something right this week
07:14as NASA launched a mission to the moon.
07:17The first time they did this was in 1968
07:19when America led an ill-advised war in Vietnam
07:22which had no exit strategy
07:23and ultimately made a mess of the region.
07:26Thankfully, this time things are different.
07:29The ten-day mission will take astronauts around the moon
07:32as they look for a location to build a potential base
07:34from which to explore Mars.
07:36Not so much a place in the sun
07:37as a place on the dark side of the moon.
07:39I stayed up and watched this.
07:41I was so excited about it on Wednesday night.
07:43Did you guys watch it?
07:44Well, you remember the first one, of course.
07:48Sorry, sorry.
07:50So close, but not quite.
07:53No, I didn't.
07:54Did you watch it?
07:55I think it's bad at how jaded I am
07:59and how jaded we are as a generation.
08:01Yeah.
08:03In 1969, was it, people stayed up and watched it?
08:05Yeah.
08:06And I watched it the next day on my phone
08:10while having a piss.
08:13I watched it.
08:14I watched it on my phone.
08:15Well, what I love most is the next thing
08:17it took me to on the algorithm
08:18was just more dash cam footage.
08:21It's everyone's going to go from that
08:22to someone having a rocket cut them up.
08:24What I love most about this story
08:26is it's Easter weekend
08:28and it's quicker and easier
08:30for those astronauts to go round the moon
08:32and back than what it is to get a train
08:34from London to Manchester Piccadilly.
08:42And look, there's a lot to be cynical about
08:43in the world right now,
08:44but it's nice to know the launch of a rocket
08:45can still reduce a professional journalist
08:47to tears of joy.
08:49Here's the incredible moment
08:50the BBC's science editor, Rebecca Murrell,
08:52was blown away by the launch
08:54almost literally.
08:56Oh, my goodness.
08:58Oh.
09:02Wow.
09:04Oh, my goodness.
09:06That is spectacular.
09:08It's not just what you see
09:10and you hear as the rocket nips off.
09:13You can actually feel the force of it
09:15through your body.
09:16This is the most powerful rocket
09:19that NASA has ever built.
09:25Amazing.
09:25That is amazing.
09:26It is amazing.
09:27That's what I was like
09:28when I saw the Backstreet Boys in Vegas.
09:33I mean, a British reporter
09:34hasn't been that excited
09:35by a piece of machinery
09:36since this energetic clip.
09:40Holy shit.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:51That's like you
09:52when you open your Tupperware box
09:53and shredding.
09:55There's one of them
09:55standing under the rocket blast
09:57that's actually quite distressing.
10:00Look, some of the stats
10:01around this launch are incredible.
10:02The rocket, known as Artemis II,
10:04was the same height as Big Ben.
10:06The core stage of liftoff
10:08burnt through 2.8 million litres of propellant
10:10and it will end up travelling
10:11the furthest from Earth
10:12that any human has ever been.
10:14I read that, but also
10:16basically in what NASA
10:17kind of the way they've explained
10:18the route it's taken is
10:19they basically said
10:20it's going to take
10:21a similar trajectory
10:22as Apollo 13.
10:24It's like, don't use that
10:25as the example.
10:27Just down to the astronauts.
10:29Well, the good news is
10:29Tom Hanks has already
10:30signed up to play you.
10:33It's going to land
10:34in a similar place
10:35to the Titanic, I think.
10:39And look, credit where credit
10:40is due.
10:40When Donald Trump
10:41came into office
10:42he signed an executive order
10:43calling for Americans
10:44to return to the moon
10:45by the end of 2028.
10:46So it must be kind of
10:47conflicting for the US president
10:48because on the one hand
10:49America is exploring space again
10:51but it's also
10:52the most diverse NASA crew
10:53to ever leave Earth's orbit.
10:55It features the first woman
10:57and the first person of colour
10:58to travel to the moon.
11:00Now that I say that
11:01it sounds like
11:01it might be a trap.
11:03You know what I mean?
11:04Considering the third
11:05astronaut's Canadian
11:06if the Force One's trans
11:07this might be
11:07the most elaborate
11:08deportation ever.
11:12What's tricky for NASA
11:13is that due to Trump's
11:14ban on mentioning diversity
11:15they can't make a big deal
11:17about the first person of colour
11:18or the first woman
11:19to fly to the moon.
11:20They have to call them
11:21the first person
11:22who's allowed
11:22to fist bump Obama
11:24and the first person
11:25who never likes
11:25the temperature of any room.
11:28When's the first sock
11:29going to the moon?
11:33Are we liking this character
11:34or is it running?
11:35No, no, no.
11:37Keep it on.
11:39Every now and again
11:40I see something
11:41that makes me glad
11:41I don't have big hands
11:42and this is...
11:47The ultimate indignity
11:48for a government
11:49that's critical of inclusion
11:50is that the area
11:51between the Earth's orbit
11:52and the moon
11:52is called cislunar space
11:54and the operation
11:55they pulled off last night
11:56was called
11:56a translunar injection.
11:59I mean the only thing
12:00that would make it worse
12:01is if they were travelling
12:02in the starship
12:02they them to prize.
12:05And not only is there
12:06an African-American man
12:07on board
12:07Victor Glover
12:08is the pilot.
12:10Look, it says a lot
12:10about the state of America
12:11that it's the only journey
12:12he can make
12:13without the risk
12:13of being pulled over.
12:18By the way
12:19Victor Glover's call sign
12:20is Ike
12:20I-K-E
12:21which stands for
12:22I Know Everything
12:22but does he know
12:23he's an embarrassing dad
12:25because this gorgeous
12:26family photo
12:26is giving cringe.
12:30That's actually
12:31his living room
12:32and what he's done
12:33is he's just been
12:33wearing the suit
12:34since he got the job
12:35that's why
12:35I like to think
12:36he's just been in the house
12:37just going
12:39and it's just
12:40it's like
12:40come on Victor
12:41you're making the kids
12:42late for school
12:42it looks like
12:44he's the only one
12:45who remembered
12:45World Book Day
12:51not often you can
12:52create history
12:52and be a full kit wanker
12:54and look
12:55they are creating history
12:56I genuinely got chills
12:58when this emotional
12:59final send off
12:59was given to the astronauts
13:01on this historic mission
13:03you take with you
13:05the heart of this
13:06Artemis team
13:07the daring spirit
13:09of the American people
13:10and our partners
13:12across the globe
13:13and the hopes and dreams
13:15of a new generation
13:16good luck
13:18Godspeed Artemis 2
13:20let's go
13:23it's fine
13:24but they never have
13:25any banter
13:27that's what I always think
13:27they're always trying
13:28to talk as if
13:29it's going to go on
13:29like some sort of
13:30monument or something
13:31where I think
13:32they just don't have
13:32any workplace banter
13:34like I'd love to hear
13:34just imagine doing
13:35the count like
13:36five
13:37four
13:37fuck what's that bit of
13:38metal that's falling
13:39off the top
13:39three
13:40two
13:41there's no
13:42coming out of the top
13:42only fucking about
13:43if you're one
13:43have a good one guys
13:46this was the emotive
13:48moment when each of
13:48the astronauts gave
13:49their final words
13:51thank you Charlie
13:52this is Victor
13:53we are going
13:54for our families
13:57MS1
13:58this is Christina
13:59we are going
14:00for our teammates
14:02MS2
14:03this is Jeremy
14:04we are going
14:06for all humanity
14:08that's lovely
14:09but you reckon
14:09the first two
14:10were like
14:10oh give it a rest
14:11Jeremy
14:13family teammates
14:14you don't have to
14:14bring humanity
14:15into war
14:16ooh look at me
14:17I'm doing this
14:18for humanity
14:20we have to spend
14:21ten days with this
14:21prick
14:22I'm going to start
14:23doing that
14:23when I'm at work
14:24just go
14:25I'm doing blankety
14:26blank for humanity
14:28I'm doing that
14:29for humanity
14:31I just think
14:31he's not doing it
14:32for humanity
14:33is he
14:33he's not doing it
14:34for me
14:34if you want to do
14:35something for humanity
14:36get McDonald's
14:37to bring back
14:37the McRib
14:40the crew will be
14:41in a cramped space
14:42the size of two
14:42small camper vans
14:43for ten days
14:44passing around the moon
14:45on day six
14:46there was a tense
14:48moment for the
14:48astronauts
14:48when a fault
14:49was found
14:49with the onboard
14:50toilet
14:50in fact
14:51it was with
14:52the toilet fan
14:53oh
14:53it was in fact
14:54because I just
14:54imagined like
14:55one of the astronauts
14:56just coming out
14:56going
14:57I'll give that
14:57a couple of
14:58light years
15:00would it be bad
15:01to crack a window
15:02is it worth
15:03is it worth
15:05the toilet itself
15:07costs around
15:07seventeen million
15:08dollars
15:09and comes with
15:10foot restraints
15:11and ear protectors
15:12oh I thought
15:13the seventeen million
15:14was just for a plumber
15:15to do that call out
15:17the ear protectors
15:18are for the person
15:19on the toilet
15:19or the other people
15:22the toilet makes
15:23such a loud noise
15:24because it's zero gravity
15:26it has to basically
15:27suck all the waste
15:28and take it away
15:30so it makes a loud noise
15:31and you need ear protectors
15:32oh
15:33I don't know why
15:34you need foot restraints
15:35I'm assuming
15:37I'm assuming it's
15:38so that you don't
15:39I mean literally
15:40launch yourself
15:41across the room
15:45if it's
15:46I don't
15:46I don't want to speak
15:47for everyone
15:47but if it's providing
15:48that much propulsion
15:49for other people
15:51I'm doing it wrong
15:53but I mean
15:54it's zero gravity
15:55it's got a
15:56I mean
15:56what happens
15:57when you fart
15:58in space
15:58like
15:59you can't hide it
16:00if you've just
16:00shot across the room
16:05that one was
16:06for humanity
16:09the toilet is a step up
16:11from past Apollo missions
16:12which saw astronauts
16:13taping a bag
16:14to their own buttocks
16:16Jesus Christ
16:17oh my God
16:18yeah
16:18that new walk
16:19feels a bit different now
16:20new Armstrong
16:21with a bag take
16:22to his arse
16:24one small bag
16:25for man
16:26one giant man
16:28for piss
16:28it's a one giant man
16:30one giant bag
16:31there was a famous line
16:33uttered on board Apollo 10
16:34and this is a direct quote
16:35give me a napkin quick
16:36there's a turd
16:37floating through the air
16:40why have they got
16:41napkins up there
16:42in the first place
16:42for fine dining
16:43I don't know
16:45to catch turds
16:46probably
16:47why else would you
16:48use a napkin
16:49it's not like
16:50they give me them
16:50a prayer
16:51the astronauts
16:52were interviewed
16:53overnight
16:54and they explained
16:54how they sleep
16:55in this fascinating clip
16:58sleeping here
16:59is
16:59it's actually
17:00sort of comical
17:01Christina has been
17:02sleeping heads down
17:03in the middle
17:03of the vehicle
17:04kind of like a bat
17:05suspended from our
17:06docking tunnel
17:07Victor's been up
17:08where Jeremy is
17:09right now
17:09he's got a nice
17:10little nook
17:10wedged in there
17:11and then Jeremy
17:12has been stretched
17:13out on seat one
17:14and I've been
17:14sleeping under
17:15the displays
17:16just in case
17:17anything goes wrong
17:18it's more comfortable
17:19than you would think
17:20and it's nice
17:22to sleep in weightlessness
17:23again
17:23every time I was
17:24dozing off
17:25last night
17:25I had that image
17:26that I was tripping
17:27off a curb
17:27and I was waking
17:28myself up
17:29so my body's
17:30getting re-acclimated
17:31it's been a few years
17:32since I've been up here
17:33I was hoping
17:34when he got to himself
17:35he goes
17:35and I sleep naked
17:40what's my bollocks
17:41doing zero gravity
17:45before the trip
17:46crew member
17:46Reid Wiseman
17:47said
17:47quote
17:47there are definitely
17:48going to be things
17:48by day six
17:49seven eight nine
17:50that we're like
17:51man all right
17:51I need a little space
17:52and I can't get any
17:53right now
17:54and then said
17:54like clicking a pen cap
17:56can annoy somebody
17:56over ten days
17:57in a small capsule
17:58which begs the question
18:00what would we be like
18:01in space
18:01imagine him trying
18:02to dodge loads
18:03of floating legs
18:05day six
18:06the socks
18:06just floats out
18:07of my crown
18:08I like
18:09I can like the idea
18:11of you going
18:11Alex
18:12we can't
18:12the radio
18:13we're not
18:13we're not able
18:14to get back to
18:14Houston
18:14it's like
18:15no sorry mate
18:15I changed it to
18:16Kishtry earlier
18:18I like the idea
18:19you've waited 21 years
18:20for Arsenal
18:20to win the league
18:21and then you're
18:21trapped in space
18:22all right
18:25let's move on
18:26no Josh has already
18:27made that joke
18:27move on
18:28thank you
18:29no I think it's fair
18:30to say the mission
18:31to the moon
18:31has brought out
18:31the child in all of us
18:32sorry
18:33I was going to make
18:34a joke
18:34Josh had already
18:35done it
18:35and I was like
18:35well there's no point
18:36doing the same
18:37sock joke again
18:39I was going to do
18:40your impersonation
18:40I was going to be
18:41is there a bit of
18:42sock down here
18:43I was doing the
18:44voice as well
18:46NASA even had
18:47an initiative
18:48in which members
18:48of the public
18:49could send their
18:50names around the
18:51moon on an SD card
18:52so you sign up
18:53and they take an SD
18:54card and they take
18:56it around the moon
18:56your name goes
18:57around the moon
18:57they even put out
18:59a boarding pass
18:59that looked like
19:00this
19:00now we know
19:01that's what it
19:02looks like
19:02because one member
19:03of our production
19:04crew actually did
19:05it for her
19:05and her kids
19:06and her seven
19:07year old is still
19:08pissed off that
19:09she's not actually
19:10going to the moon
19:10for Easter
19:14it's amazing
19:14and when you look
19:15into what they're
19:15actually doing
19:16it's amazing
19:16because the precision
19:17needed to do
19:18what they're doing
19:18is absolutely
19:19remarkable
19:20have a look at
19:21this fascinating clip
19:21it shows the
19:22magnitude of trying
19:23to coordinate a
19:23rocket from earth
19:24that loops around
19:25a moving target
19:28okay so there's the rocket
19:29going around earth
19:30it heads towards
19:31where the moon
19:32should be
19:32it hasn't come
19:33into shot yet
19:33because it's orbiting
19:34the earth
19:34here it comes
19:36how close is that
19:38these astronauts
19:39are basically combining
19:40physics chemistry
19:41mathematics
19:42and darts
19:45the way it looked
19:46is it kind of looked
19:47like you know
19:48when like your uber
19:48driver takes a really
19:49long route home
19:51you just go
19:52you've got ways mate
19:54here's he doing
19:55another drop off
19:55performing
19:57it's almost impossible
19:58to put into words
19:58what they're managing
19:59to achieve
20:00but I think the final
20:01word should go to
20:01this excitable boy
20:02in America
20:03who managed to sum
20:04it all up beautifully
20:06why do you want to be
20:08here why do you love
20:09space why do you love
20:10being a part of
20:11history
20:12we're going back
20:12to the frickin moon
20:14that's why
20:16pretty much says it
20:17all
20:18alright
20:18let's welcome
20:19tonight's guest
20:20but let's do it
20:20with another special
20:21guest
20:21Josh
20:22oh do you want
20:23me to do it
20:23okay
20:25she's a telly legend
20:26he's a comedy star
20:27but I'm a sock
20:29so I've heard of
20:29neither of them
20:30it's Lorraine Kelly
20:31and Josh Pugh
20:56I've eaten far too many of them
20:58okay
20:58they're there
20:59you're what
20:59sorry
21:00I'm scunard
21:01of them
21:01scunard
21:02fed up
21:02had too many
21:04were you involved
21:05in the hoist
21:06I cannot possibly
21:06comment on that
21:08maybe
21:09did you both
21:10follow the moon mission
21:11what did you think of it
21:12oh my god
21:12it's so exciting
21:13so exciting
21:14what do you think
21:15are you not
21:15you're not that excited
21:16I'm not that excited
21:17I'm so excited
21:18here it is
21:19with astronauts
21:20if you want to go up
21:21fair enough
21:21and all that
21:22but it's when they try
21:23and make up
21:24they're doing it for us
21:24for all humanity
21:26all you know mankind
21:27we're not bothered lads
21:30no one's asking you
21:31to go up there
21:32I think it's
21:32just be honest
21:33you want to go on a rocket
21:34that's where you're going
21:35yeah
21:36you want to go wee
21:37into the sky
21:37that's what
21:38wee
21:39they had bother
21:40with the wees
21:40and the sky
21:41didn't they
21:41and you two cheeky monkeys
21:43I actually saw
21:44the original moon landing
21:46I was 10
21:46and watched it with my dad
21:48no Lorraine
21:49I know
21:50oh my word
21:51it was the best
21:53no Lorraine
21:55because you were making a joke
21:57and then it was
21:58oh but it's the sock
21:59no Lorraine
22:00no
22:01I love the sock
22:02I'm very very very into the sock
22:04so would you go into space Lorraine
22:06would I go
22:07if you told me
22:07no I would be away
22:08well can we finish the show first
22:10I'll finish
22:11well it's amazing
22:13it's extraordinary
22:14the thing is
22:15the rockets they go from Florida though
22:17I just think there's better things to do in Florida
22:19you've got Animal Kingdom
22:26I love the way people really got into it this week
22:30but I loved
22:30how watching various reporters around the world
22:32cover the rocket launch
22:33reminded everyone around the world
22:35of this classic clip
22:36you may have seen this
22:37James Burke
22:37it's often called
22:38the best timed piece of television ever
22:42and the two gases that he released
22:44from his particular version
22:46of a thermos flask
22:47the one lying on its side behind me now
22:49were hydrogen
22:50and oxygen
22:56if you release those two gases
22:58into a confined space
22:59with a hole at the other end of it
23:01and mix them as you do so
23:02and then
23:03set light to them
23:05you get
23:07that
23:14destination
23:15the moon
23:17wow
23:24it is incredible
23:26but how good would it have been
23:27if he'd have had a sock on his hand
23:31look walking and talking
23:32isn't always easy to do on television
23:34as this revealing clip of Lorraine shows
23:39she's a mother of three
23:40two
23:41oh
23:44I'll do that again
23:46superwoman help me
23:47help me
23:48you're alright
23:49I can't show you that
23:51I can't show you that
23:52I can't show you that
23:52I can't show you that
23:54I can't show you
23:56I can't show you
23:57and look
23:57we're going to give you a chance
23:58to redeem yourself tonight
23:59okay
24:00and recreate James Burke's
24:02iconic moment live in the studio
24:04we've written a little script for you
24:05it's on the auto queue
24:06take it away Lorraine
24:07right
24:08okay
24:08hopefully
24:09this will work
24:10come on
24:12walking and talking on television
24:14is harder than it looks
24:15it requires coordination
24:17concentration
24:18and relaxation
24:19it's actually
24:21quite a bit
24:22of pressure
24:25like
24:25like
24:26the pressure
24:26that's applied to a foot pump
24:27when somebody jumps on it
24:29if that pressure is then transferred to a child's toy
24:32pointing towards the sky
24:33you get this
24:47oh my god
24:48that doesn't normally happen to me
25:00we'll have more last leg for you after the break
25:02as we come back down to earth
25:03with a look at what's going on in Iran
25:04we'll see you in a little bit
25:20welcome back to last leg
25:21we're joined by Josh Pugh and Lorraine Kelly
25:24who is handing out chocolates to everyone in the audience
25:29oh Lorraine before you go
25:30someone said
25:30is it okay
25:31that you didn't get a hug
25:32when you came out
25:32it wasn't intentional
25:33no no
25:34we all hugged already
25:36didn't we
25:37backstage we hugged
25:38don't tell
25:38was the someone
25:39that texted that in yourself
25:41you
25:42honestly
25:43I didn't get concerned
25:44by so many things
25:44someone else said
25:45is it okay
25:46that someone left
25:46some anti-back spray
25:48on the desk
25:48at the beginning of the show
25:49yes that was an accident
25:52Mad Brummie said
25:53is it okay
25:54Trump broke the window
25:54and is now running away
25:56look it's been a big week
25:57for the American president
25:58in fact
25:58I'm going to do something now
25:59I'm going to read off a list of things
26:01Donald Trump said this week
26:02and I want you to tell me
26:03which one I've added
26:04as an April Fool's joke
26:07this week Donald Trump said
26:08that he hangs around with losers
26:10because it makes him feel better about himself
26:12told an audience of Saudi investors
26:13they could ask him anything about sex
26:15said he doesn't like museums and libraries
26:18so his library will be a hotel
26:20and claimed that a woman should have autonomy
26:22over her own body
26:25yeah you picked it
26:26it was the last one right
26:28can I just say
26:29anyone who says
26:29ask me anything about sex
26:31sounds like someone
26:31who's never done it
26:34as the war on Iran continues
26:35the Strait of Humoz
26:36remains closed
26:37President Trump
26:38took the truth social
26:39to tell Britain
26:39it should either buy
26:40its jet fuel
26:41from the US
26:42or quote
26:43go get your own
26:44not surprising
26:45from a guy who said
26:46when you're famous
26:47you can just grab them
26:48by the pussy
26:49Iran is now considering
26:50placing a toll
26:50on any ships
26:51passing through the Strait of Humoz
26:52in what one commentator
26:54described as
26:54an ayatoll booth
26:58don't hate it
27:00what do we think of Donald Trump
27:01saying we should get our own oil
27:02well I think we just fight back
27:04we just choose British products
27:06you should get your own hobnobs
27:09you know what Trump
27:11get your own Ambrosia cream pride
27:14this side
27:15you guys
27:16it's just like
27:17the way Trump speaks to Britain
27:19it's like he's
27:20like a lad
27:21trying to get his mate
27:22to do something stupid
27:23all the time
27:24yeah
27:24like set fire to the farts
27:26or something
27:26the old you would have done it
27:27the old you
27:28she's changed you
27:29the old you would have done it
27:30okay then
27:32he's a kid man
27:33he's ridiculous
27:33it's ridiculous
27:34and look at this
27:35oh yeah
27:35he's blaming us
27:36this is mad
27:37like we didn't have
27:38he's the one who went
27:39and started it
27:40he's having to go at us
27:41and it's basically like
27:42what he's saying is
27:43why aren't you doing anything
27:44about these pants
27:45that I've shitting
27:45that I'm wearing
27:48and look at this one
27:49one country that seems
27:50to be doing well
27:50out of the crisis
27:51it's Russia
27:52because just as their war
27:53effort was starting
27:54to run out of money
27:55Donald Trump eased sanctions
27:57on Russian oil
27:58the price of which
27:59has now gone through the roof
28:00so the Russian economy
28:01is now pulling in
28:02hundreds of millions
28:03of dollars a day
28:04thanks to Donald Trump
28:06so it turns out
28:07he is good for the economy
28:08just not American
28:10Trump also said this week
28:11he'd consider pulling
28:12the US out of NATO
28:13saying
28:14I always knew
28:14they were a paper tiger
28:15and then added
28:16and Putin knows that too
28:17by the way
28:18get a room
28:21a lot of countries
28:22around the world
28:22are now struggling
28:23to deal with the current
28:24energy crisis
28:24Sri Lanka have introduced
28:26a four day working week
28:27news anchors in Thailand
28:29took off their jackets
28:30on air
28:30and their government
28:31have told officials
28:32to wear short sleeve shirts
28:34without neckties
28:35but have a look at
28:36Bangkok's weather
28:37for the next week
28:38it's like 37
28:40they should be wearing
28:41short sleeves anyway
28:43are you guys worried
28:44about the energy crisis?
28:45I mean anything
28:47with crisis in
28:48it gets my alarm bells ringing
28:49yeah
28:55he knows things
28:57he knows
28:58mental health
29:00Cuban Missile
29:02cost of living
29:03cost of living crisis
29:04all of them
29:06time crisis
29:08one woman was spotted
29:09filling Sainsbury's bags
29:10with petrol
29:10and storing them
29:11in the boot
29:11of her car
29:13Sainsbury's bags
29:14that's the unbelievable image
29:16I think putting petrol
29:17in a plastic bag
29:18really shows where you
29:19stand on climate change
29:24fuck you Grafenberg
29:27Duke Cass said
29:28is it okay
29:28the king's visit
29:29to the US
29:29is going to be
29:30very awkward
29:31yeah so this week
29:32it was confirmed
29:32the king and queen
29:33state visit
29:33is going to take place
29:34next month
29:34even though Trump
29:35spent a lot of this week
29:36slagging off Keir Starmer
29:38in fact
29:38Trump even stated
29:39that the king
29:40would have backed him
29:41over the war
29:42in Iran
29:43his exact words were
29:44I like him
29:45I always liked him
29:46as a prince
29:46he's a good man
29:47a great representative
29:48for your country
29:48I think it would have
29:49taken a very different stand
29:51but he doesn't do that
29:52I mean he's a great gentleman
29:54I don't think Charles
29:55would have taken
29:56a different stand
29:56I don't think so either
29:58he talks to plants
29:59yeah
29:59poop
30:01his car runs on biofuels
30:03he's kind
30:03his favourite hobby
30:04is angling
30:05that's not a warmonger
30:06that's a fishmonger
30:10you've met the king right
30:11I have
30:11is he the kind of guy
30:12that would be like
30:13yeah get in there
30:14no he would not
30:15and the poor soul
30:16that has to go and sit
30:18and break bread
30:19with Trump
30:19I know he's met
30:20lots of despots
30:21yeah yeah yeah
30:22in his life
30:22but I don't know
30:24how you get through that
30:24do you just kind of
30:25sit there thinking
30:26soon I can go home
30:27to Camilla
30:27and watch the racing
30:29with a gin and tonic
30:30is that how you get through it
30:31I don't know
30:32well is it true also
30:33the king can't really
30:34give an opinion
30:34on whether he'd go to war
30:36no he's not
30:36and Donald Trump knows that
30:37of course he does
30:38so he's just
30:38he's just baiting
30:40they've got
30:40they've got mutual
30:41acquaintances
30:42his brother
30:55the Guardian's photo editor
30:57obviously had a little bit
30:58of fun this week
30:58it looked like they were
31:00purposely choosing photos
31:01that made the king
31:01look sceptical of Trump
31:02there was this one
31:05are they passing drugs
31:09cheers for that Donald
31:10I really needed that Parker
31:12and the Guardian also
31:13ran with this
31:14perfectly captured shot
31:17it looks like the king
31:19going ooh
31:19and he's just seeing
31:21Trump like zipper bollock
31:22in his zip
31:25he's only trying to get
31:26a sock out
31:26I know
31:27it looks like they're
31:28struggling for an answer
31:29on Celebrity Pointless
31:33ooh you forgot to
31:35Captain Harland
31:35ooh
31:38that actually is a photo
31:39of Charles talking to a plant
31:42the scramble for fuel
31:43is going to test all of us
31:44so Josh and Alex
31:44have come up with a way
31:45to get us prepared
31:46yes we have
31:47so Hills
31:47basically as soon as
31:48we saw the image
31:49of a woman putting petrol
31:50in Sainsbury's bags
31:51we basically thought
31:52this could fuel
31:53some hilarity
31:55oh yeah
31:55that's good
31:56huh
31:56huh
31:56huh
31:57and more to the point
31:59more to the point
32:00pad out the show
32:02so we're going to put on
32:03we've got to make
32:04special petrol pump hats
32:05for this
32:08and Alex has got a jingle
32:09mage would you like to
32:10cue the jingle Alex
32:11let's play
32:17you've got to patrol with it
32:19you've got to feel your bag
32:31ok here we are
32:33in our petrol pumps
32:35me and Alex
32:35two petrol pumps
32:36as you can see
32:37I've got green on my face
32:38because I am unleaded
32:40yes and as you can see
32:41I'm diesel
32:42so I've got a black hat on
32:44and I'm
32:45do you know what actually
32:46should we just continue
32:47with this
32:50don't want to get cancelled
32:51it is
32:52Hilsey vs. Lemoine
32:53and I can tell you
32:54that this couldn't be
32:55more important
32:56Josh
32:56do you know why
32:57why
32:57because there's a very
32:58special prize on offer
33:00oh
33:02right so here's what
33:03you have to do
33:03you have to get as much
33:04highly flammable petrol
33:06in shopping bags
33:08across our tricky
33:09assault course
33:10from one end of the
33:11forecourt
33:12to the other
33:13it's that simple
33:14Hilsey we ask you
33:16it's the forecourt
33:17so please don't use
33:18your mobile
33:18absolutely
33:19and Lorraine
33:20please don't light up
33:21I don't know how
33:23okay then let's talk
33:24you through the course
33:25first you must fill
33:26your bag at the
33:27petrol pump over there
33:28that'll have a street
33:29value of about
33:29eight grand at the
33:30moment
33:31and then you've got
33:32a negotiate way
33:32through the mountain
33:33of charcoal bouquets
33:34and then slalom
33:35in and out of the
33:36caution wet floor
33:37signs
33:38grab yourself a bunch
33:40of shitty flowers
33:40that you might be
33:41buying for a family
33:42member you don't like
33:43and then buy a
33:44scratch card
33:45from an under-motivated
33:46forecourt attendant
33:48finally pour your
33:50amazing petrol
33:51into the car boot
33:52the person who
33:53fills their car boot
33:53with the most petrol
33:54is the winner
33:55capisce?
33:57yeah
33:57cool
33:58take your positions
33:59please
33:59over there
34:00there you go
34:02let's kick it off
34:02for our contestant
34:03you go this side
34:04I'll go this side
34:08I'll go this side
34:09are you ready?
34:10ready
34:10three
34:11two
34:12one
34:13pump it
34:14oh here they go
34:15there we go
34:16they're pumping away now
34:17who do you fancy
34:18to win this Alex?
34:19I think Kelsey's
34:20struggling already
34:21he's not having this
34:22he seems like
34:22Lorraine's not messing about
34:24is he?
34:24Lorraine's got the
34:25he's worked in a petrol station
34:27before
34:28Lorraine feels like
34:29somebody's siphoned petrol
34:31they are
34:33I'll be honest
34:34this bit's lasting longer
34:35than we'd anticipated
34:37not the first time we've
34:39said that
34:39am I right?
34:41just go for the two
34:42two hands if you need it
34:43there you go
34:44here we go
34:46all right
34:46look over the chest
34:47go on
34:47go on
34:51get your flowers
34:52get your flowers
34:53get your scratch card
34:54please
34:54oh two bunches
34:56oh Lorraine's a romantic
34:57grab your scratch card
34:58me
34:58that'll do
35:00yep
35:00okay
35:01thank you
35:02fill it up
35:03fill it up
35:03fill it up
35:04fill it up
35:05fill it up
35:05fill it up
35:06fill it up
35:07oh my god
35:11oh my god
35:13oh my god
35:13oh my god
35:14Lorraine
35:14oh god I need a wee
35:15so much
35:18I can tell you
35:20that our winner is
35:22Lorraine Kelly
35:24oh is it?
35:26no it kills me
35:27oh hang on
35:28oh god
35:29give it to Lorraine
35:30it's Lorraine
35:32and there is your
35:33bouquet of Kit Kat
35:34oh no
35:35give it to Lorraine
35:36oh
35:38congratulations
35:41it's going to have to go to VAR
35:42well and more last night for you after the break as we take a look at the upcoming World Cup
35:46but Josh
35:47I think it's time to burn some of this petrol off
35:49yes let's go for this
35:50right
35:50everyone duck
35:51we're going to go big on this burning
35:53three
35:53three
35:54three
35:54one
36:09welcome back to the last minute
36:10we're joined by Josh Q and Lorraine Kelly
36:12time to talk football now
36:13but before we do
36:14let's welcome a man who's become an online sensation
36:16as the assistant manager of the Sunday league team Royal Oak FC
36:20please welcome Steve Bracknell
36:34lovely to have you here Steve
36:36big game this weekend
36:37you want to tell everyone explain for everyone what the game is
36:40it's been billed as the biggest game in Sunday league history
36:44mm-hmm
36:45I've billed it that I'll be frank
36:47but yeah
36:473,000 people are coming to watch two pub teams
36:52playing a football match on Easter Sunday at 2pm
36:54who are the pub teams
36:55Royal Oak
36:56my team I'm assistant manager
36:58yep
36:58let's not get hung up on titles mate
37:02I'm the assistant host mate don't worry about it
37:04yeah
37:06no comment
37:08and there's no love lost
37:10and for the people who can't make it on the day can they watch it
37:14I'm allowed to mention BBC aren't I
37:17I mean who knows these days but yeah go for it
37:23don't get me involved in that
37:26the BBC have kindly agreed to live stream it to the games gone YouTube channel
37:31amazing
37:32we're gonna have people from all around globe
37:34yeah
37:36watching 22 overweight blokes
37:39try and put ball it back at them
37:41and look I understand you're a big fan of Alex Brooker so much so
37:43you've written a chant for him
37:45last night I spent an hour in shower naked
37:48well I've always naked in shower but
37:51singing about Alex and Nick is going Steven are you alright
37:54I'm alright love
37:55would you like to hear it
37:56I'd love to hear it please
37:58yeah
38:00it's to the tune of marching in two by two
38:04oh
38:05he'll never play in a football team they said
38:08they said
38:09they were always making jokes about his leg
38:13now making jokes is how he gets paid
38:16and now he's playing in soccer day
38:18all of Brooker
38:20England's number nine
38:21Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
38:30da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da!
38:34We all walk rock and he's in the number nine.
38:37Ah!
38:38Ah, my God!
38:40Oh my God!
38:42Thank you, Steve.
38:44You're a national treasure, mate, and I mean that.
38:46Thank you so much.
38:47Thank you so much.
38:47It's like, make a wish.
38:48Thank you!
38:51And now Josh Pugh you play for the partially sighted England futsal team
38:55I do, yeah
38:56And you got a visit from an important manager
38:58Yeah, before a tournament in Turkey we were training in Manchester and to motivate the lads
39:03Our manager brought in a special guest and introduced him as Gareth
39:08No surname, didn't give a surname
39:09Obviously the lads are visually impaired, we couldn't see that Gareth Southgate was stood
39:17And we were just very underwhelmed
39:22Wait, he's got like a shirt on, we think he works for the hotel
39:28Any questions for Gareth? Well, my room key's not working
39:35Yeah, first and second name we need
39:40And look, Lorraine, I understand you're going to be, like we've got the World Cup coming up
39:43Yes
39:44I understand you're going to be one of the games
39:46Yes, we're going to the Morocco game
39:47Well, hopefully I'm going, because you know there's that thing where if you've been horrible about Donald Trump
39:52Yes
39:52So I might get, I was hoping that we'd be Canada or Mexico but we're not
39:56Yeah
39:57And I'm just worried that, you know, when I get there they wouldn't let me in
40:01Because I might have said a bad thing about Donald Trump
40:03I think the nicest thing I said was even a twat
40:06That was me being nice
40:07That was me being nice
40:10So yeah, I'm here, I'm here
40:14Is there any message you'd like to give to the Scotland team ahead of the World Cup?
40:18I just so happen to be sitting on this
40:19I just thought I would wave this around and say
40:22The famous thing is, no Scotland, no party, no Scotland, no party
40:26It's true, it's true
40:28It's true
40:29It's true
40:30It's true
40:31It's true
40:32It's true
40:33I'm so happy you didn't keep that and I'll judge us with his socks
40:38I'm just going to wave it
40:39And look Steve, we asked you ahead of coming here tonight if you could prepare a little bit of a
40:43speech for the England team
40:44You gave me 24 hour, to be frank
40:46Yeah
40:47To be fair, to be honest, it's more time than we take to write the show
40:53So the stage is yours
40:54Thank you
40:56Thank you
40:56Thank you
41:04We were all young kids once upon a time
41:07We had dreams
41:09Big dreams
41:10I never laid in bed at night, dreaming about being an electrician
41:15No, we wanted to be astronauts who fly to the moon
41:18But he couldn't
41:22Some of us wanted to play for England in a World Cup final
41:26And in two months time, some of you lads have got the chance to make that a reality
41:32A World Cup final, I mean, we're not sending Annie McGuire to the moon
41:36I hope not, anyway, we need him
41:39All I ask of you lads is to keep dreaming
41:42Listen, I can forgive a bad pass, a penalty miss
41:45But what I cannot forgive is the inability to believe we can do it
41:51Well, you're necessary to show us that
41:55We live in divisive times
41:57And the opportunities for this country to come together are few and far between
42:02It was Gallagher's last summer that brought us together
42:04Me and I, Nicky, had the best day of his life
42:06Unbelievable
42:08But now it's your turn
42:09To go and play your heart, sir
42:11Not for me, not for Widdicombe, not for Brooker
42:13Do it for kids up and down country who are still dreaming
42:17And if football comes home, and I mean this from the bottom of me heart
42:21If it comes home, I'm banging a bargain bucket
42:25No, no, I mean, gravy coleslaw, viennetta beans, job line, it's on me
42:29And I mean that
42:30So get up and down and play for that badge
42:33But more importantly
42:36Let's try and stay together as one, all right?
42:38Steve
42:47We'll have more last week for you after the break
42:49Josh will wrap up the last seven days
42:50And we're going to unveil an anthem for the World Cup
42:52We'll see you in a little bit
43:07Welcome back to Last Legs
43:09We're joined by Josh Pugh, Lorraine Kelly and Steve Bracknell
43:12Last week on the show we met someone by the name of Becky Coleman
43:14Now Becky was aiming to become the first wheelchair user
43:17To row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course, arms only
43:21Yesterday she smashed it in 33 minutes
43:24And sent us this picture with the little hands in a boat that we gave her
43:28Becky's here tonight
43:29Becky, congratulations, well done
43:44I also want to give a shout out to the Keithley Cougars rugby league team if I can
43:47Last year on the show you might remember Alistair Campbell challenged Keithley to help out the Ukrainian rugby league team
43:53Keithley then provided them with their official kit
43:55Offered to fly a bunch of teenage
43:56They offered to fly a bunch of teenage rugby league players from Ukraine to the UK for a week
44:02The Ukrainian kids landed into Leeds Bradford this afternoon
44:05They're going to spend the weekend in Keithley and Castleford playing and watching rugby league
44:09Which is awesome
44:10They're also taking a day trip to Haworth
44:13I think that's how you pronounce it
44:15Home of the Bronte sisters
44:16Because you know how much rugby league players love the Bronte sisters
44:19You can hear them now
44:21Keith Cliff
44:22Keith Cliff
44:23Oh we all joined, I didn't expect you to join
44:26This is the greatest audience of all
44:38Josh has been orbiting the last seven days, what have you got?
44:43You've got to read it off the card
44:44Would you like to see an incredible clip of what could possibly go wrong when collecting your food at the
44:50end of a night?
44:51Out
44:51Yes please
45:02It's the way he tries to save it
45:04Such a journey then
45:06Would you like to see some awkward footage of poor old Craig Doyle being interrupted during rugby team's warm-up?
45:13Yes
45:14You only can
45:15So we said to them, you're a new member of the team, you need an initiation
45:18You usually get to song with a boss or you're going to dance up and disgusting
45:20I'm ready to sing to be fair
45:21You're going to kick this ball
45:23Yeah, it's going to be a debut defining moment I think
45:25You're a pro footballer, watch your guys, let's have a look
45:28Brave man
45:31Get there
45:32It's good effort
45:33It's good effort
45:34These chaps are giving me this
45:35Would you sign him, Geoff?
45:37Would you sign him?
45:38I'm fucking not on
45:38I'll start it
45:40Okay
45:41I'm not happy about that
45:42Okay, apologies to my ears
45:46All right, we are about to end the show with a song for the World Cup
45:49But before we do, would you please thank our guests
45:50Josh Pugh
46:04We'll be back later in the year with more Last Leg
46:07But right now with the World Cup coming up
46:09We thought we'd give a shout out to all the countries competing
46:12And wish them luck with every single part of their journey
46:23Looking at a summer of the
46:26Forty-eight countries and all the competing here
46:31I sit and I wonder just who to cheer
46:38England
46:41Not Wales, the baby, but with failure
46:44But in June
46:47Scotland might dance to a different tune
46:51Tune in to sea-rich nation
46:53Gets to USA vibration
46:56Getting into America
46:58Whoa
46:59Getting into America
47:01Whoa
47:02Has become a massive pain in the ass
47:08As the urban hurts the Galvina
47:11Norway, Switzerland, Portugal, maybe France
47:17Even Croatia have got a chance
47:23Sweden, Jordan and Ghana
47:26Brazil, Ivory Coast and Uzbekistan
47:30We're not gonna put money on Iran
47:36Each country's gonna be so cool
47:38Wipe all the ass from your eyeballs
47:41Getting into America
47:43Whoa
47:44Getting into America
47:46Whoa
47:47Has become a massive pain in the ass
47:52Thanks for watching the last leg
47:53My name's Adam Hills
47:54We'll see you later in the air
47:56For the next leg
47:57We'll see you later in the air
48:02We'll see you later in the air
48:04Oh
48:04Oh
48:05Oh
48:05Oh
48:06Oh
48:06Oh
48:06Oh
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