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00:00:21I got a nun and I got a nun.
00:00:43I've got a little treat for you tonight.
00:00:44My first guest is a young man, and when I say young man, I mean a young man.
00:00:47He's landed the lead role in an NBC pilot, and he won that audition with a song and dance routine,
00:00:52and we thought he did it so well that you might like to meet him tonight.
00:00:54Would you welcome Rafe Hawk.
00:01:04In my regards to Broadway, remember me to Herald Square.
00:01:13Tell all the gang at 42nd Street, then I will soon be there.
00:01:21Whisper a poem yearning to mingle with the old-time throng.
00:01:30Give my regards to old Broadway and tell them I'll be very long.
00:01:37Oh!
00:02:09Give my regards to old Broadway and tell them I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there
00:02:21alone.
00:02:22I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, yeah, I'll be there, yeah.
00:02:52You've had five years off to reflect. Is that what you're going to say? Reflect?
00:02:58I mean, how are you going to frame the five years thing?
00:03:00Also, I should literally be a famous-ass interviewer.
00:03:04Even when I'm fake interviewing, I'm, like, incredible at it.
00:03:07Incredible.
00:03:07Thank you. So what are you going to say about the five years thing?
00:03:11Well, I was thinking I was going to say I've been working since I was six and needed a break
00:03:18and that I needed to find out who I was away from all this.
00:03:23I love that.
00:03:24That works, totally.
00:03:26I won't say that I was hiding a heroin addiction from the public and that my best friends from high
00:03:33school and my insane lawyer helped me cover it up for years.
00:03:36So no one ever found out.
00:03:39That is a really smart omission.
00:03:40Strong omission.
00:03:41No admish.
00:03:42You're going to be amazing, babe.
00:03:44You got this.
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:45I'm very lucky to have you two.
00:03:46Mm-hmm.
00:03:47And thank you both for being here and thank you for helping me.
00:03:51Yeah, babe. Now get out there and tap dance for mommy.
00:03:54Yeah, there's jazz dance.
00:03:56That's it.
00:03:58Two minutes.
00:03:58All right, look, before we get started, I just got to say, this is a career highlight for me.
00:04:03You, Tom Cruise, Denzel, you're my favorite actors of all time.
00:04:08Thanks.
00:04:08So look, first we're going to start off with the box office records and, uh, what?
00:04:13Do you mind?
00:04:14I don't know if anyone talked to you, but, um...
00:04:17Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, my God.
00:04:19Oh, no.
00:04:20He's asking about the Oscar game.
00:04:22I know, I can tell.
00:04:23When you introduce me, would you mind not forgetting to say two-time Oscar winner before you say Reeve Hawk?
00:04:31Look, of course. I was planning on doing that anyway.
00:04:33I mean, I thought it was something serious. Of course, man.
00:04:34Oh, that's about to say, man.
00:04:35Yeah, I mean, I would never even say it.
00:04:37It's just that sometimes people forget.
00:04:41Who forgets?
00:04:42You are the most beloved movie star in the world.
00:04:47Yeah.
00:04:47I'm just honored to have you on the show.
00:04:48This is going to be a cakewalk for you.
00:04:50Oh, thanks, man.
00:04:51Hi.
00:04:52How are you?
00:04:54We're Reeve's best friends from high school, but, like, we have our own lives, too.
00:04:58We're just here supporting you.
00:05:00Listen, you are so fucking charming.
00:05:03Yeah.
00:05:04Enough of that. I don't want to fan out too much. You ready?
00:05:07Yeah, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right, let's go for it.
00:05:08All right, let's try one.
00:05:09We'll get one going. All right, here we go.
00:05:11Three, two, one.
00:05:13Tonight, I'm interviewing somebody I never thought I would interview.
00:05:17I'm talking about a legend, an icon.
00:05:20What is there even to say?
00:05:21Reeve Hawk is in the house.
00:05:24Welcome.
00:05:25Oh, wait.
00:05:26Sorry, I messed up.
00:05:27I left out the Oscar part.
00:05:28I'm sorry.
00:05:29Guys, you got to do it again.
00:05:30Sorry about that.
00:05:31No, no, we're leaving this in.
00:05:32No, no, no.
00:05:33No, we are not starting over.
00:05:35People at home need to see this.
00:05:37Let me tell you right now, if I'm ever the kind of out-of-touch jerk who needs to restart
00:05:42an intro because you didn't mention an award,
00:05:47brother.
00:05:48We got way bigger problems.
00:05:51My man.
00:05:51My man.
00:05:52That's why the world loves you, man.
00:05:54The real Reeve Hawk, that's amazing.
00:05:56Reeve Hawk.
00:05:57Are you ready?
00:05:58We're already starting.
00:06:00Yes, we are.
00:06:04Babe, babe.
00:06:05I know you love mopping with the crew, but we're going to hit crazy traffic if we don't get out
00:06:09of here.
00:06:09What's mopping?
00:06:10M.O.P.
00:06:12Man of the Peopling.
00:06:14It's actually pretty fucking funny.
00:06:16Thanks.
00:06:16Yeah, we should get going.
00:06:18Can I talk to you guys for a second?
00:06:20Hey, guys.
00:06:21Thanks so much.
00:06:22Bye.
00:06:23Did anyone else see this silver fox eye fucking me?
00:06:26I am so serious.
00:06:28It was so blatant and out in the open, I almost want to like write an op-ed, but I
00:06:31like that.
00:06:32Reeve.
00:06:32Reeve, Reeve, Reeve.
00:06:34What are you doing?
00:06:35Whoa.
00:06:36We don't know those guys.
00:06:38They could literally go online and say that I was like being fake or mopping or whatever insult you just
00:06:43said,
00:06:43and then people will think that I'm like that.
00:06:47Okay.
00:06:48So?
00:06:49So?
00:06:50That would be like a fucking disaster.
00:06:53Reeve, chill out.
00:06:54Yeah.
00:06:55Dude, dude, take a deep breath, okay?
00:06:59It's just...
00:07:01It's just that you're...
00:07:06It's just that you're always being watched these days and observed.
00:07:10Yeah.
00:07:10Everywhere.
00:07:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:07:13It's really weird.
00:07:14It's really weird.
00:07:15Okay, my baby.
00:07:18It's okay.
00:07:19Yeah.
00:07:20Lookit, this was like a really stressful situation for you.
00:07:23So just take a deep breath.
00:07:25It's all good.
00:07:26I'm sorry, okay?
00:07:27I was just being dumb and trying to be funny and...
00:07:29No, I'm sorry.
00:07:31No, please.
00:07:31A lot of anxiety today.
00:07:33Of course.
00:07:33It was just...
00:07:33It was...
00:07:34My bad.
00:07:35You don't have to do that.
00:07:36No, come on.
00:07:36Come on.
00:07:37Come on.
00:07:37Come on.
00:07:38You love us.
00:07:39You love us.
00:07:39I love you guys.
00:07:41We love you.
00:07:42By the way, you were amazing.
00:07:44Oh, my gosh.
00:07:44He is a fan.
00:07:45Yeah.
00:07:47I don't know.
00:07:54Shit.
00:08:00Hello?
00:08:01Bubby, it's Ira.
00:08:02We got a big fucking problem.
00:08:03It's fucked up.
00:08:04It's really fucked up.
00:08:04It's a total fucking nightmare.
00:08:06I'll be over at 10.30 a.m. tomorrow.
00:08:08I'll have my assistant text your assistant.
00:08:09My breakfast order.
00:08:10Beg her not to fuck it up for me.
00:08:17Do I have shit on my face?
00:08:19Yes.
00:08:20I do?
00:08:20Yes.
00:08:21Oh, my God.
00:08:22That's fucking embarrassing.
00:08:23Ira, tell me what the fuck is going on.
00:08:26Here's a video.
00:08:27Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
00:08:29What's on it?
00:08:29I have no idea.
00:08:30I thought you buried everything that needed to be buried
00:08:32without it getting out to the public.
00:08:35When I got sober five years ago,
00:08:37I changed my life.
00:08:38And thank God you did.
00:08:40Since you've been out of the game,
00:08:41everything's changed.
00:08:42For the record, you are the GOAT.
00:08:43The true GOAT, Bubby.
00:08:45You were the best to ever do it.
00:08:46I swear to God, I hate to say it,
00:08:48but it's nice to be back on the fucking court with you.
00:08:51We used to be out here in these streets
00:08:52smashing fucking concrete,
00:08:54getting our hands dirty.
00:08:55Hollywood was our goddamn glory hole.
00:08:57These kids today,
00:08:57they don't know how we used to do it.
00:08:59You, me, Rourke, little Chuckie Sheen,
00:09:02Stephen Hawking, you know,
00:09:03the original Pussy Posse.
00:09:04You boys kept me busy, didn't you?
00:09:05Can't you just make this go away
00:09:07like you always used to?
00:09:09I can't, Bubby.
00:09:10The internet changed everything.
00:09:11I know you panicked,
00:09:12and we used to get this shit wrapped up
00:09:13with a briefcase of cash in a day or two.
00:09:15It ain't like that anymore.
00:09:18You can text me or call me
00:09:1924 hours a day,
00:09:21just like the old days,
00:09:22except for Tuesdays
00:09:24from 3 p.m. till about 10 p.m.
00:09:26What's on Tuesdays?
00:09:27Personal shit.
00:09:28Don't worry about it.
00:09:29Oh.
00:09:30What?
00:09:31Huh.
00:09:33Are you okay?
00:09:36Do I have to be in here?
00:09:37Can I just wait till you're done?
00:09:39Bubby, I'm on a massive time crunch.
00:09:41By the way,
00:09:42I love this gay wallpaper.
00:09:44Thanks.
00:09:45And about all the art in the house.
00:09:46Very colorful,
00:09:47very gay and classy.
00:09:49Look, Bubby,
00:09:50there are some steps we can take
00:09:51in the meantime
00:09:52while we're waiting this out,
00:09:53but I need you to be
00:09:54completely honest with me.
00:09:55There are no more secrets between us.
00:09:57Look into my eyes.
00:09:58Do not break eye contact with me, Bubby.
00:10:01Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:02No, Ira.
00:10:03I've never killed someone.
00:10:04I can't wipe my ass with this.
00:10:06This is performative.
00:10:07I'm a good person
00:10:08environmental toilet paper.
00:10:09What's your assistant's name?
00:10:11Sammy.
00:10:11Sammy?
00:10:12Oh.
00:10:13Come in here.
00:10:14Can you go into the master
00:10:15and bring the toilet paper here?
00:10:17The good toilet paper.
00:10:18The good toilet paper.
00:10:19Yeah.
00:10:20And, Bubby, just real quick,
00:10:21it's primary, not master.
00:10:22What thread count is it?
00:10:23Sorry.
00:10:24I don't know, Ira.
00:10:25It's Scott from the store.
00:10:27Toss it.
00:10:28Let me see.
00:10:29Jesus Christ.
00:10:30Smells like, um,
00:10:32like earring backs in here.
00:10:34Yes, that means you're healthy.
00:10:39What the fuck?
00:10:40Cover your mouth.
00:10:40It's disgusting.
00:10:41You get germs.
00:10:42I'm sorry.
00:10:42Besides the health stuff,
00:10:44it's so rude.
00:10:45I'm sorry.
00:10:45Aside from me getting sick,
00:10:47it's rude.
00:10:48Because those particles
00:10:49fly into my nose and mouth.
00:10:51Do you can't...
00:10:51Actually, this is fucked up
00:10:53to say I kind of like this.
00:10:54Turn around, Bubby.
00:10:55Eye contact.
00:10:56Come closer.
00:10:57Have you ever killed someone?
00:10:59No, Ira.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01Bubby, I'm not a judgy person.
00:11:04I'm more of a you do you.
00:11:05I'm a go ahead and do me, girl.
00:11:07Ira!
00:11:09I have never killed someone!
00:11:13For real!
00:11:17You're making me uncomfortable
00:11:19with your anger.
00:11:21And I think that's
00:11:22something we should look at.
00:11:25You can have at the scraps.
00:11:28I'm sorry, what?
00:11:29You can have at the scraps.
00:11:31That's really nice of you, Ira.
00:11:33You know, she's actually great.
00:11:35Yeah.
00:11:36I like her.
00:11:36Next, have you ever
00:11:37watched anyone be killed?
00:11:38No, Ira.
00:11:38Have you ever paid someone
00:11:39to kill someone?
00:11:40No.
00:11:40Have you ever fucked a dead person?
00:11:41No.
00:11:41Has a dead person
00:11:42ever fucked you?
00:11:42No!
00:11:44How does that even work?
00:11:45Let's just say,
00:11:46it starts with Mel Gibson
00:11:47and a whole lot of poppers
00:11:48and ends two decks over
00:11:48with a 10 a.m.
00:11:49Nate and Mel's breakfast.
00:11:50You do the math, gorgeous.
00:11:51Just to be clear,
00:11:52you're saying how a corpse
00:11:54fucks a human being
00:11:55is that Mel Gibson
00:11:56takes poppers.
00:11:58You're saying that.
00:11:59You're saying that.
00:12:00I would never betray
00:12:01a client like that
00:12:02and I'm offended
00:12:02you would even suggest it.
00:12:03I would lose my license
00:12:04to practice law
00:12:05in the state of California
00:12:05if I did.
00:12:07But just between us,
00:12:08it's pretty fucked up, actually.
00:12:10They partied with the guy
00:12:11like he was alive all weekend.
00:12:12They actually made
00:12:13a cute little picture about it.
00:12:14Weekend at Bernie's?
00:12:15Yes, Weekend at Bernie's, bubby.
00:12:17Bernie, you're hysterical.
00:12:20You've gotten funnier.
00:12:22I need to know
00:12:23everyone who hates you.
00:12:25Uh, who hates me?
00:12:27Fuck.
00:12:30My first manager
00:12:31from when I was a kid, probably.
00:12:34Good, right.
00:12:35The guy who represents
00:12:35kid actors
00:12:36and works out
00:12:36of the bowling alley.
00:12:37Who else?
00:12:39My old on-and-off
00:12:41ex-girlfriend, Savannah.
00:12:43Okay, and?
00:12:45Who else?
00:12:47That's it.
00:12:51Who hates him?
00:12:53Uh, what?
00:12:55Who hates him?
00:12:56Well, off the top of my head,
00:12:59your old manager,
00:13:00your old trainer,
00:13:01your new trainer,
00:13:02your old pool guy,
00:13:03your old, old pool guys,
00:13:04your mom.
00:13:05Oh, me too.
00:13:06Uh, those three shelter dogs
00:13:08that you got
00:13:08when you were lonely
00:13:09and then returned
00:13:10when you realized, like,
00:13:11they don't wipe their own asses
00:13:12and I sure as fuck
00:13:12wasn't gonna do it.
00:13:13Um,
00:13:14your old boxing coach,
00:13:15your old tennis instructor,
00:13:16your ex.
00:13:17And I have, like,
00:13:17a separate list for, like,
00:13:18directors, actors,
00:13:19costume designers,
00:13:19hair and makeup people,
00:13:20craft service, whatever,
00:13:21da-da-da-da-da,
00:13:21like, executives
00:13:22that you've worked with
00:13:23if you want me to start on that.
00:13:24Jesus Christ.
00:13:25Sorry.
00:13:26Can I just say something?
00:13:28My old trainer
00:13:29doesn't hate me
00:13:31because he passed away.
00:13:34Okay.
00:13:35I'm just saying.
00:13:37Mm-hmm.
00:13:37Hey.
00:13:38I believe you, pal.
00:13:39I really do.
00:13:40That's, that's awesome.
00:13:42You need to go see these people
00:13:44and apologize to them.
00:13:45Make it right with them.
00:13:47And without them realizing it,
00:13:48feel out if they're the ones
00:13:49behind the video.
00:13:50I don't know if I can do that, Ira.
00:13:52That's way too intense.
00:13:54Bubby, you don't have to mean it.
00:13:56You just have to go through
00:13:56the motions of apologizing
00:13:58to save your ass.
00:13:59All right, Bubby,
00:14:00I gotta get going.
00:14:01Tom Hanks body slammed
00:14:02his housekeeper.
00:14:02It's not as bad as it sounds.
00:14:04They were just roughhousing,
00:14:05but she is in her 70s.
00:14:06Shouldn't be whoresing around
00:14:07like that.
00:14:08So I should get over to Cedars
00:14:09and make sure shit's kosher.
00:14:10By the way,
00:14:11incredible crushed ice at Cedars.
00:14:12I'll let you know
00:14:13if I hear anything.
00:14:18Let's do it.
00:14:44My assistant said all of these
00:14:45people don't like me.
00:14:47Was I an asshole?
00:14:54Do you want to take longer
00:14:57to answer that?
00:14:58Just the people you interacted with.
00:14:59Yeah.
00:15:00Not like fans and stuff.
00:15:01I think there maybe was a time
00:15:02where your success
00:15:03did go to your head
00:15:05and maybe you weren't
00:15:06like super considerate
00:15:08about how you spoke to people.
00:15:09And now you're very aware.
00:15:11But up until
00:15:12a few years ago,
00:15:13you could kind of get away
00:15:14with being a secret dick.
00:15:15We've known each other
00:15:16for 40 years.
00:15:17We've been there
00:15:18and supported one another.
00:15:19We have always known
00:15:20the person that was in there.
00:15:22Yeah, and go easy on yourself.
00:15:24You were literally on drugs.
00:15:25It's way easier to support you
00:15:28now that you're sober.
00:15:29At least we don't have to come
00:15:30grab you out of that creepy doll store
00:15:32you used to buy heroin at downtown.
00:15:35You know how many empty,
00:15:36naked baby dolls
00:15:37I had to explain to the housekeeper?
00:15:39I had to look up in Spanish.
00:15:40Don't worry, Maria.
00:15:41It's no for sexual.
00:15:42It's for drug.
00:15:44By the way,
00:15:45zero parking
00:15:45at the heroin doll store downtown.
00:15:50Yeah.
00:15:54It got bad.
00:15:56It got really scary.
00:15:59I don't ever want to see
00:16:00that look in your eye again.
00:16:04You never will.
00:16:06So let's do what Ira says.
00:16:08Make the apologies
00:16:09and find out who's extorting you.
00:16:11He always gets you out of this stuff.
00:16:13It's going to be so fun.
00:16:14I'm already putting together
00:16:15a playlist for the Apologies
00:16:16slash Who's Extorting Reef tour.
00:16:18Hey, Siri,
00:16:20whip me up a playlist
00:16:21for a middle-aged man
00:16:22in an extreme state of crisis.
00:16:24But keep it fun and slutty.
00:16:25Come on.
00:16:26And skinny.
00:16:27Come on.
00:16:29Yeah.
00:16:31Come on.
00:16:34Yeah.
00:16:36Come on.
00:16:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:16:44If the party's where you're at, then shut up,
00:16:47don't be tripping when you see us in the club.
00:16:49I will say I kind of hate extortion,
00:16:52but the upside is that we all get to drive around together
00:16:54like the dumb sluts we used to be in high school.
00:16:56And I am obsessed with that part of extortion.
00:16:59Beyond.
00:17:00What I really enjoy about it is that we get to be here with you,
00:17:04grief.
00:17:04And guess what else I brought with me?
00:17:07OMG, are we gonna smoke?
00:17:09We're not gonna smoke, we're 120, okay?
00:17:13We're gonna fake smoke.
00:17:15I cannot believe kids vape these days.
00:17:17They are so gay.
00:17:18They're so lame.
00:17:20If I saw a kid vaping, I'd literally run over to him,
00:17:23push him over and be like, nice look, virgin.
00:17:29They're literally an oral fedora.
00:17:31Fuck.
00:17:32I haven't seen this guy in like 30 years,
00:17:33and now I'm gonna be late to apologize,
00:17:35and I'm gonna look like even more of an asshole.
00:17:38I've always said it's not an amends
00:17:41unless you power top it.
00:17:42Just get in there and just dom it out, babe.
00:17:45I love outlandish humor with my friends.
00:17:50You know, kid, I found this guy Reef over at Oakwoods,
00:17:53same as you, and I signed him.
00:17:57At this booth, same as you.
00:17:59Right here at this booth.
00:18:01Reef, can't wait to work with you.
00:18:03I know our schedules will line up one of these days.
00:18:06Can you imagine them letting us two silverbacks
00:18:09pound our chest in the same cage?
00:18:11I'd sit down and order a salad.
00:18:13I've got a 4.30 call back for that Valtrex commercial.
00:18:15Valtrex?
00:18:16Yeah, I'm waiting for the grandson of the woman
00:18:17who has genel to herpes.
00:18:19It's actually quite a complex character.
00:18:20I love that. Is Ellen casting it?
00:18:22Yep.
00:18:22I'm such a sweet girl.
00:18:24I know she is.
00:18:24And we love her.
00:18:26Oh, fuck me, I'm late.
00:18:28Beautiful day, guys.
00:18:29Okay, hey, knock them dead, will you?
00:18:31Always will and will do.
00:18:34Wow.
00:18:40Quit cigs. 16 days now.
00:18:43Sorry.
00:18:44That's awesome, Red.
00:18:45Yes.
00:18:46Red Rodriguez.
00:18:47Yes.
00:18:49Manager to the stars.
00:18:50Always bet on Red, baby.
00:18:52Yeah.
00:18:55Still out here hustling.
00:19:01Red.
00:19:04I came here to apologize to you.
00:19:10Can I ask you something, Reef?
00:19:12Of course.
00:19:15What are you sorry for?
00:19:18I'm really sorry I fired you.
00:19:27You know, I remember when I met you by the pool
00:19:30and you had no front teeth, you know?
00:19:34It was so fucking adorable.
00:19:37You were really there for me at that time.
00:19:40I was.
00:19:41I was.
00:19:43But you had this fucking light in you.
00:19:47You'd light up my days.
00:19:48And I'm just talking about the work.
00:19:49The work was always bringing.
00:19:51But you...
00:19:53You started getting jobs.
00:19:56And there he is.
00:20:00There he is.
00:20:02And I was fucking proud, I gotta tell you.
00:20:04Not just because I'm a manager, but, you know,
00:20:07it was almost as if it was me.
00:20:10In a way.
00:20:11I was so proud.
00:20:13Then you start running around Hollywood
00:20:15and you're getting some bit parts of movies.
00:20:17You're hitting the clubs.
00:20:18You're getting some pussy.
00:20:19I'm getting nervous.
00:20:21Not just cause I don't want you to get in trouble for your career.
00:20:25But I'm worried about you getting trouble for you.
00:20:29And I hear things.
00:20:31I mean, weed and all that I know, okay.
00:20:33But I hear the hardest stuff.
00:20:36The hardest stuff.
00:20:37And, um...
00:20:38I didn't know how to handle it.
00:20:40You know?
00:20:41I did the best I could at that time.
00:20:45I wanted to smack the shit out of you.
00:20:48But I still worked for you.
00:20:49Really, honestly, I didn't know what my role was.
00:20:53You know?
00:20:54In that whole thing.
00:20:55I just didn't know.
00:20:58Maybe I handled it right.
00:21:00Maybe I did the right thing.
00:21:04Maybe I didn't.
00:21:07I really don't know.
00:21:08I don't know what's right or wrong in this situation.
00:21:12Anyway.
00:21:13Look, I didn't expect you to stay.
00:21:14I didn't expect that.
00:21:15I know.
00:21:16I know I'm a joke to you guys now.
00:21:18The bowling alley.
00:21:19The roulette wheel.
00:21:21I know who the fuck I am.
00:21:23I know what the fuck I am.
00:21:25Which is...
00:21:26I'm the guy you leave if I do my job right.
00:21:30Okay?
00:21:31I know that.
00:21:32It's all right.
00:21:37I loved all you crazy little cocksuckers.
00:21:39I really did.
00:21:40But you were different, you see?
00:21:42You were different.
00:21:42You were like...
00:21:44You were like family to me.
00:21:47Yeah.
00:21:52Yeah.
00:21:55And you know, what gets me is that not one of you guys ever picked up the phone.
00:22:01Not one.
00:22:03Every time with you guys, the last time we spoke was the last time we spoke.
00:22:09I mean, all I ever wanted was to pick up the phone and hear...
00:22:13Hey, Ren.
00:22:21Could have called me.
00:22:27I don't have your number.
00:22:50I just want to see. I'm a big fan.
00:22:53Thank you. I appreciate that.
00:22:55Yeah.
00:22:56Mate, you're a fucking hawk.
00:22:58Fuck!
00:22:58Are you fucking serious?
00:22:59There was a period where I did not speak to my son for three years.
00:23:03Eleven years ago, in Sydney.
00:23:05You are Sean Penn.
00:23:06I chucked it in the dumper because she was on the block.
00:23:08Aside from my feelings on the film, technically, it's astonishing.
00:23:12That's the way.
00:23:12I feel like you chucked it in my dumper.
00:23:15Actually...
00:23:15What's your phone number?
00:23:22Hey, pal.
00:23:23Excuse me.
00:23:24Yo.
00:23:25Hey.
00:23:25I don't want to interrupt you.
00:23:26I never do this.
00:23:27I'm a big fan.
00:23:28I'm not here to blow you up or bug you.
00:23:30I just want to tell you, I'm renting this for a while.
00:23:33I wanted to introduce myself.
00:23:36Brief.
00:23:36Yeah, I know, I know.
00:23:38I'm Buddy.
00:23:40I'm everybody's Buddy.
00:23:42We're having some people over today.
00:23:44If we make noise or some rap music or something,
00:23:46just tell me.
00:23:46We've got tons of food.
00:23:47We're gonna have some slubs.
00:23:49Cool. Awesome.
00:23:50Hon.
00:23:51The McLaren's taking up both spots and UD's pulling up from Nobu.
00:23:54I'll take care of it.
00:23:55Honey, get off your feet.
00:23:56You gotta lay down.
00:23:57How many cigarettes did Dr. Crane say I could smoke while pregnant again?
00:24:00Oh, he said zero.
00:24:02Oh, hey, I know you.
00:24:03You dated my grandma.
00:24:06That's Reef.
00:24:07Nice to meet you, Queef.
00:24:12Fucking shit, dude.
00:24:14Having my first kid.
00:24:16Well, congrats.
00:24:17I'm like a kid having a kid.
00:24:19But I'm under 60.
00:24:21That's what they call a Malibu teen dad.
00:24:24Huh.
00:24:25You got kids?
00:24:26Uh, no.
00:24:28Oh, yeah, I read that.
00:24:30Fuck, you're lucky, dude.
00:24:32Just get to party 24-7.
00:24:34I gotta deal with this shit.
00:24:37Anyway, all love, homie.
00:24:39Have a good one.
00:24:41Have a good one.
00:24:41I always do.
00:24:42And I will do.
00:24:46Man's Search for Meaning.
00:24:48It's like the most lit Holocaust book.
00:24:51My therapist gave me this one after my parents' divorce.
00:24:53And, like, in a way, the divorce was my family's personal holocaust, you know?
00:24:58Like, the mistress was Hitler.
00:25:01My mom was, like, Jesse Jackson, that black guy that won that medal because he ran really fast.
00:25:06Jesse Owens.
00:25:07Jesse Owens.
00:25:08And I was, like, Anne Frank.
00:25:10You know, because I was, like, hiding from my shame.
00:25:13This book taught me, like, not to hide anymore.
00:25:15And I don't think you should either.
00:25:16So, I'm giving this to you.
00:25:18It would be good for you.
00:25:20Excuse me.
00:25:21Oh, yeah, I'm gonna give you some privacy.
00:25:24Ira, what's happening?
00:25:25Fuck, Bubby, I'm so glad I caught you.
00:25:27Holy shit.
00:25:27What? What is it?
00:25:28Did you see a pair of sunglasses after I left your house?
00:25:29I'm, like, fucked up looking for them.
00:25:31They're Chanel.
00:25:32Ira, you fucking kidding me?
00:25:33No, no, I know.
00:25:34I never splurge like that.
00:25:35Ira, you scared the shit out of me.
00:25:37I thought something had leaked or something fucked had happened with the video.
00:25:40Oh, shit, did something happen?
00:25:41I'm asking you.
00:25:42Are you fucking serious?
00:25:44I'm fucking with you.
00:25:46But for real, though, shit is not going well.
00:25:47I got nothing on my side.
00:25:49You gotta keep apologizing to people, all right?
00:25:51Oh, hey, Bubby.
00:25:52Sorry if I sound distracted.
00:25:53I'm getting an IV drip right now.
00:25:55I'm also doing couples therapy and playing chess.
00:25:57I'll call you back when I hear something.
00:26:02So do you, like, want me to pretend that I don't know what's going on to, like, make
00:26:07things easier for you?
00:26:09Or, or what?
00:26:11Let me think on it.
00:26:12I may just want to pretend things are not insane with one person in my life.
00:26:17Sure.
00:26:18Hey.
00:26:18What extortion?
00:26:22thanks emmy it's been so long mom
00:26:29it has
00:26:32i have a lot to
00:26:36apologize to you for for starters i was often very rude about you participating in this kind of
00:26:48entertainment i'm sorry for that
00:26:56fuck sorry can we try that one more time on the label wasn't cheated towards camera
00:27:02and that was such a great fucking emotional moment i'm so fucking touched genuinely i just have to
00:27:07be sure it's usable because my content partners need it sometimes you gotta tickle their balls
00:27:11so mommy can get her beak wet my son may be a star but i'm a whole damn planet
00:27:21this is so triggering and fucked up for so many reasons i can't even begin to tell you
00:27:27didn't you come here to apologize to me yeah and you'd only receive the apology if we did
00:27:32it on the show which makes my skin crawl that you're even on in the first place okay we'll
00:27:37get to that in one second you pretentious little fuck but for starters you showed up didn't you
00:27:44you're a little truffle sniffing fame piggy just like mommy i wanted to please you i became famous
00:27:51to please you i supported your career day in and day out for nine years of my life i wanted
00:27:58a parent
00:27:58not a business collaborator when you were a little kid you begged me every day to be on tv begged
00:28:05me i'm
00:28:06talking tantrums days long tantrums fits making scenes screaming carrying on i didn't know what to
00:28:14do i was 25 and you were six so i moved us across the country away from your father my
00:28:21husband away
00:28:23from my parents my support system into a shitty little month to month in the valley so i could take
00:28:30you to auditions every day you were my focus your father left us not just you he left me too
00:28:39i sacrificed my marriage who were you sacrificing anything for when you were 25 reef but then
00:28:49something amazing happened your fucking dreams came true and i went from being a little nobody in the
00:28:57middle of nowhere to suddenly my son singing and dancing on the tonight show you became a big famous
00:29:05actor you got everything you ever wanted
00:29:10mom
00:29:13i was a kid
00:29:16kids don't know what they want
00:29:20kids want to be astronauts
00:29:22astronauts yeah and some of them actually do become astronauts the ones whose dreams are supported
00:29:27by their mothers mom i felt used and exploited
00:29:32you stopped seeing me when i got on this show
00:29:37you stopped talking to me your fucking mother
00:29:52you're right
00:29:57i'm sorry
00:30:01that's not okay
00:30:07can we take that from after you're right but before sorry that's not okay
00:30:12i want to get a different reaction on my side jesus fucking christ
00:30:18you see what you even take a moment like that and make it for the show you make it for
00:30:25show
00:30:26i was actually feeling in that moment i didn't say anything about your take i bought it your delivery
00:30:33was very strong i just wanted one where i cry and one where i don't on my side so the
00:30:40editor will
00:30:40have options what even is an apology reef is it for you is it for me
00:30:48isn't an apology just a show also this was such a fucked idea you are such a scorched unit not
00:30:57everything is one thing reef yes i want to be great on the show but i mean everything that was
00:31:03in
00:31:03this conversation just because the cameras are rolling doesn't mean it's not real just because
00:31:09it's performative doesn't mean it's not the truth why can't it be both oh you and i see things so
00:31:17fucking differently reef i've accepted that i hope you can too one day
00:31:24i'm not trying to change you so don't try and change me
00:31:36kyle your abstinence dog is out here do you want me to let him in or do you a favor
00:31:42put it down so
00:31:43someone will date you just put it under the window over there guys thanks
00:31:48i should not be looking at this couch right now i have been so nauseous today
00:31:52oh babe maybe you're pregnant is that unhoused gentleman outside of general nutrition that
00:31:57you've been romantically intertwined with not been using contraception
00:32:03babe yeah i'm as at risk of getting pregnant as you are
00:32:08because you're old yeah that's the meaning of that bit
00:32:11okay just making sure you understood the math of it
00:32:12oh you know i i got it thanks and reef like i know you can't handle any of the housewife
00:32:18stuff but like your mom is so fucking major and iconic like what was she wearing
00:32:22i need details babe lay off the mom's stuff okay even though we're all dying to know what
00:32:27she was wearing no it's okay but it's not her it's not her
00:32:37okay
00:32:55hello be in my office one hour i got the fucking dream team assembled for
00:32:59you bloody one hour be here
00:33:06dearly beloved we are gathered here today because i have assembled the greatest group
00:33:10ever to protect our boy reef hawk and bathe him in the waters of our combined genius
00:33:17nothing prince
00:33:20whatever reef i would now like to introduce you to your new crisis team or as i call them the
00:33:26ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-reef unit
00:33:30didn't land okay tough room i will start with one of the greatest to ever do it
00:33:35one of the world's most renowned lawyers the most legendary advocate for women whose rights
00:33:43have been violated illegal reaches wide and long and my major notion as it might not
00:33:50i'd run ladies and gentlemen virginia allen i've been kareem
00:33:58reef it's nice to meet you don't you represent women who are victims of terrible men not if i hire
00:34:05her first
00:34:05i'm not i didn't like oh i know oh we know bobby we know i wouldn't have accepted this if
00:34:11i thought
00:34:11this was a me too type of thing what if it is it's not we know i know she knows
00:34:20we know we know
00:34:21we know i know i of course know what if it is you're gonna want virginia here bobby speaking of
00:34:28i would now
00:34:29like to introduce you to the third in our three tenors of naughtiness ladies and gentlemen the sultan of
00:34:37social justice the rabbi of race relations
00:34:44he's bringing sexy back to the civil rights movement
00:34:49iron he's been preaching since age three and boys is so tired the reverend leandrus carter
00:34:59shut the fuck up iron oh you're still sorry about last time we worked together yeah because you
00:35:03completely ruined the entire thing and embarrassed the shit out of me and my client here we go again
00:35:07did you follow the jesse smollett thing uh the two racist guys who beat up the black actor and it
00:35:12ended up being set up by him leon and i came up with that at lunch one day it's a
00:35:16killer idea we pitched it
00:35:17around town and jesse was the most passionate about the project sometimes these things are
00:35:20reverse engineered where the idea comes before the talent you know like when a movie studio has
00:35:24a franchise but they don't have a star attached then tell them what happened to ira you're such
00:35:28a fucking hypocrite leon you're one of my best friends i love you more than life itself but you're
00:35:32a hypocrite you're always on me about hiring more black people so i hired two black guys to beat up
00:35:36jesse this is me growing with elegance and all of a sudden i'm the asshole you hired two black
00:35:42guys to play white supremacists to commit a hate crime against a black guy you stupid
00:35:46motherfucker it's impossible to keep up hire black guys don't hire black guys make up your mind i
00:35:50shouldn't have to explain this one you're acting like i didn't even post a black square a couple
00:35:55years ago you saw that i storied it it wasn't on my permanent grid but i storied the black square
00:36:01i obviously know who you are and i'm a fan reverend but why is he on our team oh i
00:36:09pray to god you didn't
00:36:10say the word on that video what no i would never we know we know i know he knows we
00:36:19know of course we
00:36:20know we know brother but if you did i will smack the living shit out of you and then we're
00:36:29gonna hold
00:36:29hands and walk through the fire together my brother i'm not a racist reef while we totally believe you
00:36:37aren't racist we do know for a fact you have done racist things which is very common except in your
00:36:44position is incredibly dangerous i'm unis kim i'm a lawyer and activist i'm here because i famously
00:36:50started the hashtag stop imitating asian people i did by the way we noticed thank you for doing no
00:36:56thank you brief do you recall a scene from a jesus i hate to call it a film a thing
00:37:03you were in called
00:37:04titty school six let's get tit-tarded in here an 80s low-budget teen comedy ira buried when you got
00:37:11famous we think someone may have found it do you recall a scene from this film in which your character
00:37:17israel boner sharkstein is tasked with breaking into the girl's sorority to steal their bras and panties
00:37:23and in order to pull off this caper you as your character dress up as a geisha to sneak into
00:37:29the
00:37:29authority we think someone may be framing the scene in a modern context to use it to cancel you
00:37:34for being racist against asian people it was a scene in a stupid movie it wasn't me it was a
00:37:40character in a movie doesn't matter hey wait where's motion from the anti-semitism committee we ran the
00:37:45numbers it turns out that hating jews doesn't negatively affect a person's career in fact it could
00:37:52even help like that sounds like a freako acid trick so you go through every hypothetical
00:37:57fucked up thing you may have ever done in your entire life yeah if we broke down my text in
00:38:01my
00:38:01dry cleaner on tuesday i'd never work again i mean it felt like fire against my skin the whole entire
00:38:07time
00:38:07i hate that you're being put through this i i just hate it when you're sad you know i was
00:38:12thinking
00:38:12about when you got clean how you never did aa or any other program like that because you were just
00:38:18like
00:38:19so worried that people were gonna recognize you and out that you had a problem and how that would
00:38:23you know affect your image of course but a big part of all of that is doing the steps right
00:38:30apologizing to the people you hurt maybe this whole thing is like the universe's way of
00:38:36making sure that you apologize to the people that were hurt by your addiction you know
00:38:43i'm sure there's a lot of people that would appreciate an apology from you
00:38:49right sander yeah sure
00:39:02you're right
00:39:26i'm gonna try and get back before dinner but thank you
00:39:32yeah thanks
00:39:38what the actual fuck dude i don't even know what i said it was like
00:39:44why did i
00:39:46i'm so stupid
00:39:47no
00:39:47no
00:39:48no
00:39:48no
00:39:49no
00:39:49no
00:39:49no
00:39:49Come here, come here.
00:40:19Come here.
00:40:52Come here.
00:40:57Rave.
00:41:00Savannah.
00:41:03Here we are.
00:41:04Dude, you are so annoying.
00:41:07I can hate you or want to kill you or even forget about you,
00:41:11but then you sit here in front of me
00:41:13and you are still the goofy kid
00:41:15lighting fireworks off at the vents behind the mall.
00:41:19Almost going deaf.
00:41:20Jesus, I haven't thought about that in so long.
00:41:24Such a little twerp.
00:41:25Always showing off for everybody,
00:41:27center of attention.
00:41:30But I always liked you in moments like this.
00:41:35When it was just us talking.
00:41:38Nobody to show off for.
00:41:47I pulled it off.
00:41:48Photo finish.
00:41:50Don't worry, they're not yours.
00:41:52That's not funny.
00:41:55Oh, Gary.
00:41:56Do they have your sense of humor?
00:41:59They're smarter than me.
00:42:02Let's hope they make better choices.
00:42:13I'm really sorry I let you down.
00:42:24How do I put this the right way?
00:42:26I want to use the correct verbiage here
00:42:30and not mince words.
00:42:36You're not a good person.
00:42:45I wasted years of my life on you.
00:42:48With you.
00:42:50And about you.
00:42:51Because it's always about you, Reef.
00:42:57Let me guess.
00:42:58Xander and Kyle haven't been this honest with you.
00:43:03About your behavior in these conversations.
00:43:06They never had a problem lying to you.
00:43:08Or for you.
00:43:11Yeah, you don't stick around long with this kind of realness.
00:43:14Do you, Reef?
00:43:17Don't be bad, I know.
00:43:20But I'm not around anymore.
00:43:24Thank God.
00:43:28Because after the last thing.
00:43:34The last thing that happened.
00:43:40It took finally allowing a good and devoted man to love me to realize that
00:43:47I'm not just a distraction to run to and toy with when you're...
00:43:55When you're depressed or lonely or between movies or...
00:44:04Literally bored.
00:44:06Only to discard when something amazing would happen.
00:44:11No, you're not.
00:44:13Correct.
00:44:25I used to think that telling you all this would make me happy.
00:44:33It doesn't...
00:44:37My family makes me happy.
00:44:40My children make me happy.
00:45:03Ira.
00:45:04I need you to come straight back to my office.
00:45:06I got us a call with the guy.
00:45:07He's ready to negotiate.
00:45:08Same seats.
00:45:10Shit, I gotta run.
00:45:11Adam Driver bought a pet champ and it ripped some lady's face off at the mall.
00:45:13They're cute when you buy them, but then it's like...
00:45:15Wait, Ira.
00:45:30Ira, we have him on the line.
00:45:32Alright, this is it.
00:45:32At your stations, okay?
00:45:34Put him through.
00:45:36Hey, Ira.
00:45:36Yo, how's things?
00:45:37All good over here.
00:45:39Just in the office, solo, doing a million things.
00:45:41Oh, yeah.
00:45:42By the sound of that speakerphone and the cavernous echo in the conference room, I can tell it's
00:45:46just you in there.
00:45:47Fuck you.
00:45:47What do you got?
00:45:48I'm assuming Virginia and Leandres and the crew are all in there with you.
00:45:52Hello, Ira.
00:45:52Nope.
00:45:53Wrong again.
00:45:54Okay, Ira.
00:45:56Hey, by the way, I want to say Reef, if you're there too, which I'm pretty positive that
00:46:01you are, I should legally disclose that I'm your neighbor who's been renting a house
00:46:05next to you for the past few months.
00:46:07What the fuck?
00:46:11Legally disclose.
00:46:12Since when you were sickler for the law?
00:46:14Alright, well, you know, not legally, but like homie to homie.
00:46:17I thought I should tell you that it felt fucked up not to.
00:46:20Alright, so what do we got here?
00:46:22Okay, as you know, I can't reveal much, but I have procured a video from a person who
00:46:27wishes to sell it to the highest bidding media outlet.
00:46:30I would like to offer Reef the opportunity to buy it first.
00:46:33How fucking generous of you.
00:46:36All I can tell you about the video is this.
00:46:47He comes.
00:46:54The price is 15 million.
00:46:56The deadline is Tuesday at 10 a.m.
00:46:57alright, peace.
00:47:03Come?
00:47:07Come.
00:47:09...
00:47:11He comes.
00:47:14Oh it comes.
00:47:16He comes.
00:47:19He comes.
00:47:23This is the actual worst moment of my life.
00:47:27He comes.
00:47:31I accept that.
00:47:33I do, I accept it.
00:47:39But who says coming is bad, right?
00:47:42I'm in sex positive.
00:47:44Cum makes babies.
00:47:46Babies grow up to be doctors.
00:47:48Doctors heal us when we're ailing.
00:47:49Technically he's right.
00:47:50You know who's made out of cum.
00:47:52She is.
00:47:53I'm not made out of cum.
00:47:55Absolutely are.
00:47:56Even Reeve Hawke.
00:47:57Dramatic pause.
00:47:59Matinee idol.
00:48:00Handprints in the Grauman Chinese sidewalk.
00:48:04100% completely cum based.
00:48:06I believe in the profundity of this argument.
00:48:11This young lady here, cum.
00:48:15That felt wrong even as I was saying it.
00:48:17But I urge you to hear me when I say this.
00:48:20None of us in this room would be here without cum.
00:48:26Am I wrong?
00:48:29Applause.
00:48:31If you want.
00:48:33If you want.
00:48:34If you want.
00:48:40You don't understand, Ira, you don't understand.
00:48:43I've been so fucking careful.
00:48:45Hey, you're okay.
00:48:46I've never filmed myself.
00:48:48I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:48:49I've been so fucking careful.
00:48:52Why is this happening to me?
00:49:02What did you just say?
00:49:06Why is this happening to me?
00:49:08No, before that.
00:49:12I've been so fucking careful.
00:49:15Before that.
00:49:17I've never filmed myself.
00:49:19And I've never been filmed with anyone.
00:49:28What?
00:49:32What is it?
00:49:34You were filmed without your consent.
00:49:40It was non-consensual.
00:49:43Virginia, do you want to explain this?
00:49:45I'd love to.
00:49:46Reeve, have you ever heard of victim capitalism?
00:49:51No.
00:49:51When you were growing up, you wanted to be an actor.
00:49:54You wanted to be a gifted artist.
00:49:56And that, in turn, would bring you riches and fame.
00:49:59You were part of the recognition for talent generation.
00:50:02But people got tired of having to work hard
00:50:04and actually be good at something.
00:50:06I do all that work.
00:50:06It's exhausting.
00:50:07And the odds are so terribly low of succeeding.
00:50:10So, here come the Kardashians.
00:50:13The Big Bang happened.
00:50:15The tension culture.
00:50:17And it is huge.
00:50:20Now, you don't have to do anything special to be famous.
00:50:22You just have to be.
00:50:23You just have to make enough noise to garner the attention.
00:50:27Any kind of noise.
00:50:28Any kind of attention.
00:50:30And this brings us to the birth of social media.
00:50:33Now, anyone with a phone can have it at the push of a button.
00:50:36That sweet, sweet nectar of attention.
00:50:39And then, it was ignited.
00:50:42The spark.
00:50:45Victimhood.
00:50:46The only way you can become rich and famous in this culture is to be a victim.
00:50:53Victim capitalism.
00:50:54The best thing you can be in our modern society is a victim.
00:50:57And you, Reif Huck, are a white, middle-aged, rich, famous, straight movie star who is, indeed, a victim.
00:51:08You're a fucking unicorn.
00:51:09This is going to be the biggest year of your whole career.
00:51:11I mean, you're going to be a bigger star than ever.
00:51:13You know what we have to do, right?
00:51:14We got one move.
00:51:17Live interviewer.
00:51:18That's right.
00:51:18A live interview cuts him off at the knees.
00:51:20Talking about the video before they have a chance to leak it makes you the victim and gives us all
00:51:25the leverage.
00:51:28God, where are they?
00:51:31We're going to be fucking late.
00:51:34Everything okay?
00:51:35Yeah, yeah.
00:51:37I'm just running a little late.
00:51:38It's one day a week I've got to be out by a certain time.
00:51:48Hey, I know that was a lot.
00:51:51Sit with it tonight.
00:51:54Digest it.
00:52:02Ira, you have a really weird job.
00:52:08It's like you just wait for a call that I got in trouble.
00:52:23Bubby, you ever think about why you thought it was okay to get in the kind of trouble you got
00:52:31in for as long as you did?
00:52:35Everybody's a psycho when they're young.
00:52:37I hit myself at number one.
00:52:42But for everybody else in the world, all these people, they can't act like that forever.
00:52:51I had real life hit me like a fucking train.
00:52:57But when my phone rings and it's you, I pick up.
00:53:01I always pick up.
00:53:07There he is.
00:53:09Hey, hey.
00:53:10Sorry, Ira.
00:53:12We hit crazy traffic.
00:53:14No worries, LA, baby.
00:53:15So bad.
00:53:16Traffic? Come on, you crazy?
00:53:17Buddy.
00:53:18There he is, my boy.
00:53:20Dad.
00:53:20What, are you too old to kiss your dad?
00:53:22Oh, come on.
00:53:23When you were a baby, I used to kiss your face.
00:53:25I still see you as this little, fat, little, chunky little guy.
00:53:30Dad, I hate being late for the Dodgers.
00:53:32Yeah, no, I hate being late. I'm sorry, buddy.
00:53:34But we got to listen to Britney Spears' audio book.
00:53:36And let me just say, she lived a very wild life.
00:53:42She's the best. She's hanging at your mom and I's wedding.
00:53:44Mm-hmm.
00:53:44Hey, you know who this guy is?
00:53:46Reef Hawk?
00:53:47That's right.
00:53:49OG client of your dads.
00:53:51I always wanted you guys to meet each other, but, uh, Reef is always very busy.
00:53:56So, Reef, do you have a girlfriend?
00:53:58This guy with the girlfriend. Always with the fucking girlfriend.
00:54:01Not right now.
00:54:02Well, same here. We're on the same boat.
00:54:04That's what I tell him. He's got to keep his options open.
00:54:07Yeah, Dad said, got to keep my options open because I'm a handsome guy.
00:54:10Cool and handsome guy.
00:54:11Mm-hmm.
00:54:12Just like Reef.
00:54:14Hey, you guys should be wingmen for each other.
00:54:16Just try and leave some pussy for the rest of us.
00:54:17Shut up, Dad.
00:54:19What do I always say? Keep your options open.
00:54:22Yes.
00:54:23Never sign anything.
00:54:24Check the Saudi money.
00:54:25Check the Saudi money.
00:54:27Right.
00:54:27Okay. Hey, I'll check in tomorrow.
00:54:32Enjoy the game.
00:54:34See you later, Reef.
00:54:36Nice to meet you, man.
00:54:37Don't do alcohol and say no to crack, Reef.
00:54:40Hey, I told you not to tell anybody about that.
00:54:42You're not supposed to repeat that shit.
00:54:43Get in the car, guys. Let's go.
00:55:15Reef Hawk.
00:55:19Hey.
00:55:20I think I read a couple years ago your dad hung himself, right?
00:55:25It's so funny.
00:55:25I'm reading the new Jennifer Egan,
00:55:27and the main character is a rock star
00:55:29whose mom is on a reality show,
00:55:30and the dad hangs himself.
00:55:33I mean, it's a rock star.
00:55:34It's not a movie star, but it's crazy close, right?
00:55:43Anyway, check it out if you have a flight or something.
00:55:46You'll breeze right through it.
00:55:56Can I just say what we're all thinking?
00:56:00A live tell-all interview,
00:56:02while pretending to be a victim,
00:56:04seems like the actual complete opposite
00:56:07of what you should do.
00:56:09What's the alternative?
00:56:10Give everything up I've worked for my entire life?
00:56:13I have what everyone dreams of.
00:56:15I can't just throw it away.
00:56:23Let's just, like, sell everything and move to Hawaii.
00:56:27Open the smoothie stand or something.
00:56:30Yeah.
00:56:31There we go.
00:56:32Well, I'll open a smoothie stand.
00:56:35What a brilliant idea.
00:56:37You just seem a little off lately,
00:56:39so, look, I just want to make sure that you're...
00:56:43Make sure I'm what?
00:56:45Are you implying that there's something important
00:56:48I'm hiding from you?
00:56:49Reeve, dude, she's just asking you.
00:56:51I know what she's asking.
00:56:53I don't know why it's such a big deal.
00:56:55It's a big fucking deal.
00:56:57Because questioning that is questioning the very core
00:57:00of everything I am the last five years.
00:57:03Everything I've fought and clawed and promised to not be.
00:57:07So, you questioning that isn't just a chill little question.
00:57:13It's calling me a fraud.
00:57:15So, what the fuck are you asking?
00:57:21Don't fucking curse at me ever.
00:57:26Don't ever talk to me like that ever.
00:57:31You are under immense pressure and anxiety.
00:57:35So, I am asking you, as somebody who loves you,
00:57:39are you strong in your sobriety?
00:57:41Because you have that look in your eyes
00:57:43you promised I wasn't going to see again.
00:57:47How fucking dare you?
00:57:49How dare I?
00:57:50How dare I?
00:57:52I ask you because I am someone who loves you
00:57:55at times more than you are capable of loving yourself.
00:57:59I ask because I would rather you
00:58:01throw some little bitchy diva movie star tantrum
00:58:04and not be my friend for a month
00:58:06than to walk in on you overdosed again
00:58:10thinking that you were fucking dead.
00:58:13Which you don't even remember
00:58:15but was like the worst moment of my life.
00:58:22Dude, you're a 56-year-old man
00:58:24who might be back on hard drugs.
00:58:27So, what I ask you
00:58:29it's not because it's fun for me.
00:58:35My sobriety is stronger than fucking steel.
00:58:43And as far as moving to Hawaii
00:58:45and opening a smoothie stand
00:58:50that might be in the realm of possibility for you.
00:58:54But honestly, Kyle...
00:58:56Yeah.
00:58:56I don't have the patience or the fucking energy
00:58:59to fake being able to relate
00:59:01to your shitty little life today.
00:59:04I live in an existence
00:59:06you literally have no way of understanding.
00:59:12Oh, fuck.
00:59:13You're right.
00:59:15I have no idea.
00:59:17I hope that you do that giant interview
00:59:20and I hope you get more famous
00:59:22and more rich
00:59:24and more attention
00:59:27as it seems to historically serve you super well.
00:59:31And you know what?
00:59:32I love my life.
00:59:33My shitty little life.
00:59:35You know why?
00:59:36I get to be whoever I want to be
00:59:40all the time.
00:59:41I wish you cared about what we thought of you, Reef
00:59:45more than a bunch of people on the internet.
00:59:50And the next time you do
00:59:51a performative apology tour
00:59:53throw your two best friends on the list
00:59:54you sad fucking junkie.
01:00:13Why are you still here?
01:00:17I ordered food
01:00:19and I already paid for it on the app.
01:00:27Why did you stay my friend, Sander?
01:00:38I hate emotions so fucking much.
01:00:41Um...
01:00:48When we were in high school
01:00:50every other word out of everyone's mouth was faggot
01:00:52including mine
01:00:54and
01:00:55one time you slept over in 10th grade
01:00:57and you asked me point blank if I was gay
01:00:59and I denied it for hours
01:01:01and we got into this big screaming fight
01:01:03and
01:01:06you said to me
01:01:09you said you would not be my friend if I was gay
01:01:13you would only not be my friend if I was not myself
01:01:18because that would be too hard to watch.
01:01:27when you act gross like this
01:01:29I choose to remember that person.
01:02:01How'd you say that person?
01:02:01I think that person would pay for us
01:03:47Thank you for doing this, by the way.
01:03:51I mean, I've been thinking about you a lot lately and how much our lives have paralleled
01:04:00and the things we've been through.
01:04:02So, it's a very, very unique experience.
01:04:07Like, when we were kids.
01:04:11Like, why did we do this?
01:04:14And who did we do it for?
01:04:18One minute to live air.
01:04:20You know, it's funny.
01:04:25I didn't like you.
01:04:27Is that funny?
01:04:29You were always so smug, you know?
01:04:32But then when Virginia called me and told me what really is going on and what you are surviving
01:04:40as a victim, I mean, and the fact that you were willing to talk about it and share everything
01:04:48and share it with the world, I mean, you're a hero.
01:04:52And I want to interview that hero.
01:04:56Oh.
01:05:05It's going to be great.
01:05:13It's going to be great.
01:05:2030 seconds to live air.
01:05:22Wait, no, no, no, you can't, you can't, you can't, no, no, no.
01:05:24We can talk about other things.
01:05:26I mean, we need to talk about the thing.
01:05:28I just don't want to do this.
01:05:30But you're here.
01:05:31Why would you do that?
01:05:32I'm really sorry.
01:05:33Did I say something?
01:05:34No.
01:05:35But you cannot do this.
01:05:37We're about to go to live TV in how many seconds?
01:05:40Ten seconds to live air.
01:05:41What the fuck are you doing, Reeve?
01:05:44God fucking damn it!
01:05:45You fucked me!
01:05:46I will fuck you so hard!
01:05:49I'll fucking go outland on all you motherfuckers!
01:05:53Bubby, hey, it fucking worked.
01:05:54Ira, I'm leaving.
01:05:56No, you don't understand.
01:05:58It worked.
01:05:59What worked?
01:06:00I didn't do the interview.
01:06:01Yeah, no shit.
01:06:02You didn't have to.
01:06:03And I knew that even threatening a live interview
01:06:05would force in a hand and it fucking did.
01:06:07It's just some random nobody who found the video
01:06:09on his ex-girlfriend's computer.
01:06:10They caved.
01:06:11I got him from 15 mil down to 35K.
01:06:1635K.
01:06:17And this is all behind you for the rest of your life.
01:06:26Hello?
01:06:32I don't know.
01:06:36What the fuck do you mean, I don't know?
01:06:39I just wanted all this to go away.
01:06:44And now that it's right here in front of me,
01:06:52it's just so fucking wrong.
01:06:54And now that it's the cosmic tax.
01:07:23I don't know.
01:07:24I don't know.
01:07:24But then...
01:08:27Hey.
01:08:28Is this so crazy?
01:08:30Yeah, I guess.
01:08:32I mean, you're Reef Hawk.
01:08:34And you're talking to me like, what?
01:08:37Yeah, I don't know.
01:08:38You're a huge movie star, dude.
01:08:40Like, shouldn't you be at a big party or something?
01:08:43Um, I mean, I've been shooting in Albuquerque for like six months, living in this, uh, hotel room.
01:08:52I guess I'm, uh, a little lonely or something.
01:08:57Well, that's no good.
01:09:01Don't you have like a wife or kids or a family or something?
01:09:08Um, no, no, I don't.
01:09:14Oh.
01:09:17Why not?
01:09:18Uh, why not?
01:09:28I guess, uh...
01:09:34I guess when it came time to do that, I, uh, I always chose something else I thought was bigger
01:09:44or more important.
01:09:55That's really sad.
01:10:06Do you want to see my tits?
01:10:07Sure.
01:10:44Do you have kind eyes?
01:10:50I just need you for two minutes outside?
01:10:51Yeah.
01:10:52Okay, great.
01:11:00Call Valet and have their cards for those.
01:11:07You know, I've thought and fantasize about what I would do or say to you if I ever had the
01:11:14chance.
01:11:25Do you hate me?
01:11:32No, no, I don't, I don't hate you.
01:11:38I love you, man.
01:11:45I'm just broke.
01:12:26I love you.
01:12:28There aren't words for what you mean to me.
01:12:34and the shame I feel
01:12:38for what I put you through.
01:12:50You're my whole life.
01:12:58But it's not about me.
01:13:04I've raised my shoes
01:13:06and I'll hum from the rear view mirror
01:13:11I'm sorry.
01:13:16I forgive you.
01:13:19I forgive you, too.
01:13:25Hey.
01:13:28I'm sorry.
01:13:30I'm sorry.
01:13:32Do you need a hug?
01:13:34Yes.
01:13:36I love you, girl.
01:13:37I love you, guys.
01:13:39Thank you, Reef.
01:13:49The day I walk
01:13:51Down the street I used to wander
01:13:53Yeah, I scratched my head
01:13:56And lit my cigarette
01:14:00Well, there was all these things
01:14:02That I don't think I remember
01:14:05But, hey, how lucky can one man get
01:14:12Hello.
01:14:13Hey.
01:14:14Hi.
01:14:16Who's this?
01:14:17It's Reef.
01:14:19Reef?
01:14:21Reef?
01:14:22What can I do for you, Reef?
01:14:25I'm just calling to see how your day is.
01:14:28What do you mean?
01:14:29I mean, how's your day?
01:14:32Like, how are the events of your day?
01:14:35What do you mean, how's my day?
01:14:36How are the events of my day?
01:14:37What does that mean?
01:14:39I'm just asking how your day is
01:14:41Like, what you did and how it is.
01:14:44What the fuck do you mean, how is my day?
01:14:46What do you want, Reef?
01:14:47What's your angle?
01:14:48Red.
01:14:49I'm calling to see how your day is going
01:14:53Like, how you are
01:14:55Like, how you're doing
01:14:58Oh
01:15:01Oh
01:15:02Well, thanks
01:15:04I mean, all I'm doing, I'm just hanging out
01:15:07That's all I'm doing
01:15:09Nice
01:15:11That's awesome
01:15:12I mean, isn't, you know, nothing crazy
01:15:15Same old
01:15:16Yeah, yeah, same
01:15:20Not a whole lot here today either
01:15:25Well, that's nice, that's nice
01:15:27Today I walked
01:15:29Down the street I used to wander
01:15:32Yeah, shook my hand
01:15:34And made myself a bed
01:15:38But there was all these things
01:15:40That I don't think I remember
01:15:43Hey, how lucky
01:15:46Can one man get
01:15:48Hey, how lucky
01:15:51Can one man get
01:15:54Hey, how lucky
01:15:58Can one man get
01:16:04Hey, how lucky
01:16:04I love you
01:16:05I love you
01:16:05Not a little man get
01:16:05Yeah, how lucky
01:16:25To be
01:16:25No, ask you
01:16:32Need for ready
01:16:36girl girl girl we got this we got this who are you the second most interesting bitch in this room
01:16:42trust three two one good evening and welcome to the primetime special edition of the drew
01:16:51barrymore show we begin tonight with a gentleman i do not know hi xander alexander huge fan and
01:16:59you soon will be of mine as well so much of your show is about your guests coming on here
01:17:04and
01:17:04unloading on your tits and i just want you to know that today i'm here to take that load for
01:17:10you
01:17:10well let's get the tissues out and do this right now yes first of all i don't know if you
01:17:18know
01:17:18anything about my past but you know et changed my life i actually always thought it was et you know
01:17:24like french never seen it before saw the poster know how relevant it is know how important it is
01:17:30from what i understand it's about you and a bunch of other little kids finding a little old jewish
01:17:34guy and taking him for a ride on a bicycle little ball guy you just put a blanket on him
01:17:38and take
01:17:38him for a ride on a bicycle again i haven't seen it i've only seen call me by your name
01:17:44in the notebook
01:17:48i don't know how i did that now wonder where it's gone must spent the way i went waiting for
01:18:00the dawn
01:18:01shoot the moon right between the eyes i'm screaming take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:16shoot the moon right between the eyes i'm screaming take me back to sunny countryside
01:18:29clocks and spoons and empty rooms it's raining out tonight
01:18:36at night
01:18:37Maybe i'm sad
01:18:38and i hope you're safe
01:18:38see you
01:18:38bye
01:18:38Bye.
01:19:13Bye.
01:19:41Bye.
01:20:12Bye.
01:20:43Bye.
01:21:13Bye.
01:21:40Bye.
01:22:11Bye.
01:22:40Bye.
01:23:35I'm Reeve Hawk and I got staff in the sauna.
01:23:40Bye.
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