- 11 minutes ago
Going Dutch Season 2 Episode 10
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00:08Oh, my back. Oh, my God.
00:20Bacon.
00:24Come on, Bacon.
00:27I've defended my country my whole life.
00:30Please let me out this bacon.
00:34Something is definitely wrong.
00:36I mean, you know that the colonel thinks it five minutes early.
00:37It's ten minutes late.
00:38I'm sure it's fine. It's only 8.03.
00:40It's 8.03?
00:42Oh, my God. He's probably dead. He's probably dead.
00:44I'm gonna call him, right? I'll just check on him.
00:45Yeah. Just, uh, double-check.
00:48Hello. No one is available.
00:50Of course, that went to the voicemail he's never set up.
00:53I'm gonna go check on him.
00:54Okay.
00:54He's been putting a down payment on a heart attack for a while.
00:57Oh, last week he told me he was in his bacon era.
00:59I have been begging him to cut down to his lap every other day.
01:03Oh, my God, you're not dead.
01:10Just horribly injured.
01:11What happened?
01:12Come here. I've got something to tell you.
01:15Oh, Dad, Dad, I'm here.
01:16It's important.
01:18Yeah.
01:20Put the bacon in my mouth.
01:24Uh-uh-uh.
01:26Floor bacon first.
01:28Floor bacon?
01:29Uh...
01:30I can't let the bacon win.
01:34Oh, yeah.
01:37Yeah.
01:38Uh-uh.
01:39Uh-uh-uh.
01:41Uh-uh.
01:42Uh-uh.
01:43Uh-uh.
01:45Uh-uh.
02:06Rest up.
02:07It's doctor's orders.
02:08It's doctor's orders.
02:09You know, you slip a couple discs and all of a sudden the doctor is, like, at the top of
02:12the chain of command.
02:13Look, the base is in good hands.
02:14Shaw and I are gonna hold it down until you're up on your feet.
02:16Let's get you set up with that, uh, World War II documentary you've been going on and on about.
02:22Unseen footage of American troops trashing Hitler's hideout.
02:24Just what the doctor ordered.
02:26I know.
02:26There you go.
02:26The bunker inside the bunker.
02:28Water, meds, anything else you need before I go.
02:30Now they're at the bunker.
02:31Do you need any more, like, shh, shh, shh.
02:34That's the door.
02:34They're opening the door.
02:35They're going to the bunker inside the bunker, right?
02:36Did I get you in the shh?
02:37Oh, my God.
02:38These are the steps that lead down to the steps that lead down to the bunker inside the bunker.
02:44I'm gonna rewind.
02:45Ow.
02:46Ow.
02:50Oh, hey.
02:50I didn't know that you were gonna be here working.
02:52Uh, hi.
02:52But that's cool.
02:53That's very cool.
02:53I'll just stick to my office.
02:55It's totally fine.
02:55You can work in here.
02:56I'm good.
02:56I can go there.
02:57You can...
02:58I can be anywhere.
02:59Look, we can work in the same room.
03:00I know that you didn't want to get romantically involved because you said it was unprofessional
03:03and I respect that.
03:04So I'm cool.
03:05If you're cool, we could...
03:08That's great.
03:09Okay.
03:09That's great.
03:10Yeah.
03:10We're just, uh...
03:11We're just gonna keep it pro, you know?
03:13Keep it pro.
03:13Keep it pro.
03:14We don't have to act on every feeling that we have.
03:15No.
03:16Certainly not.
03:16I mean, if everyone did that, the world would be complete chaos.
03:19Uh-huh.
03:19We'd be murdering all the time.
03:21Yeah.
03:21And sex on the streets, right?
03:22What?
03:22I mean, I would be doing the murdering one.
03:24That's what I would be doing.
03:25Right.
03:25If I had the choice between the two.
03:27But we're just pros keeping it pro, so...
03:28Yep, yep, yep.
03:30Just...
03:30All right.
03:34Oh.
03:40Uh...
03:40Well, you can...
03:41No, it's okay.
03:44My answer phone.
03:47Uh...
03:48Hello, Major Shah?
03:50Uh-huh.
03:51Um...
03:51Yeah, okay.
03:52Uh-huh.
03:52Yep, yep, yep.
03:55Uh-huh.
03:56Got it.
03:56Yes, I will be right out.
03:58Mm.
03:58Looks like there's a report of a landmine in a nearby farm field, so I should probably...
04:01Oh, was that the weird farmer?
04:03Shout out.
04:03That crank calls like twice a week.
04:05Last time we were there, you dug up sardine cans.
04:07Okay, yeah, yeah, but I probably should just go make sure.
04:09So, I'll assemble an UXO team to take over there, and you stay here.
04:13Um...
04:13Adios, amiga!
04:14Okay.
04:16That was terrible.
04:18When locals find unexploded military devices, they call the army.
04:21So, as the UXO team, we've been tasked with sweeping for landmines at a local farm.
04:26Now, as someone with extensive landmine diffusal experience, I've worked with the best of the best.
04:30You know the team from the Hurt Locker?
04:31Mm-hmm.
04:32When they got scared, they came to us.
04:33And I've pretended to see that movie on so many dates.
04:36Okay, well, before we get into the nitty-gritty of it all, I assume you both read the training manual.
04:40Don't need a manual when you got a RUXO.
04:43Mm-hmm.
04:44A what?
04:44The robotic UXO.
04:46The latest and greatest in landmine detection technology, capable of using high-tech sonar to safely identify minds from every
04:54era of modern war.
04:56Also, he's cute as hell.
04:58I am RUXO.
04:59I am ready to serve.
05:00But I know what you're wondering.
05:02Can he dance?
05:03Wasn't wondering that.
05:04I can dance.
05:05I hacked his code.
05:06Five, six, seven, eight!
05:08I can dance.
05:10I can dance.
05:13That was really entertaining.
05:15Let's turn that off now.
05:16Beep boop.
05:16Very good, RUXO.
05:17Great dancing.
05:18But you're otherwise useless.
05:20Because unexpected problems always arise.
05:22Things a robot isn't programmed to do.
05:25But I can make real-time adjustments in the field.
05:27Well, the army is ordering us to use RUXO in any landmine clearings.
05:33So...
05:33Okay, fine.
05:34We can bring Private RUXO.
05:36Oh, actually, he's a major.
05:37Major?
05:38Hmm?
05:38Same rank as me.
05:39That's great.
05:41I don't love that salute.
05:44Today we have the DFAC inventory check due.
05:47So if it's cool with you guys, and I'm so sorry to even ask you to do this because I
05:50know how annoying it could be.
05:52And obviously let me know if it's too much.
05:54But it would be so, so awesome if you guys could handle that.
05:57And if any issues arise, obviously let me know.
05:59But I don't think that there will be.
06:01Would you guys be able to handle that?
06:04Sorry, what?
06:05You know what?
06:06I'm just gonna do it.
06:07I will add that to my list.
06:12So, what do I do with these performance reviews that the Colonel asked me to file?
06:16The performance reviews of every soldier on the base?
06:19Mm-hmm.
06:19I will go ahead and take care of that as well.
06:21Yeah, absolutely.
06:22Get that off your plate.
06:23You're the best.
06:24Aw.
06:25Well, you guys are well dismissed.
06:28I'm gonna go lay down.
06:30Yeah.
06:30Okay.
06:30Bye, Gideon.
06:31Bye.
06:32All right.
06:33Let's see what the, uh, Colonel has to say about me.
06:38Mm-hmm.
06:39All right.
06:40Um, Captain Maggie Quinn, da-da-da-da.
06:43Uh, standout officer.
06:45Uh, soldiers under her command gave her exemplary marks, which proves that she is overly concerned
06:50with being liked.
06:57What?
07:01So what?
07:01We're supposed to just sit here and watch Wally work?
07:03Yeah.
07:04Yeah, that's a good idea.
07:05We should sit.
07:05We should sit.
07:06Oh.
07:06Sit down and relax.
07:09Unbelievable.
07:10Oh, Major Shaw.
07:11Uh-huh.
07:12Cheesy pup?
07:12I'm good.
07:14Uh, Shaw.
07:14Pop a squat.
07:15I'm gonna be standing.
07:17Okay.
07:18Oh, that's weird.
07:20Our hero seems to be stuck in the mud.
07:23Help.
07:24Help.
07:25Help.
07:25That's funny.
07:26Ruxo is stuck in the mud.
07:28Uh, you know who's never been stuck in the mud?
07:29Me.
07:30Human me.
07:31For a human?
07:32You're not having much compassion right now.
07:33Imagine how scared he is out there.
07:35Scared?
07:35What are we gonna do?
07:37Yeah.
07:37We can't leave a man behind.
07:38That's like the one thing I know about the military.
07:40It's not a man.
07:41It's a machine that we're gonna be throwing away in the scrapyard very soon.
07:44Hello.
07:45Is this the 702nd EOD company?
07:46I don't know, Dad.
07:47Great.
07:47This is Major Abraham Shaw with USAG Stroopstorf.
07:51The robot that you're trying to replace me with is disabled in the field.
07:55Help me.
07:55Help me.
07:56Uh-huh.
07:57Okay.
07:58Yeah.
07:58Mm-hmm.
07:59Yes.
08:00No, thank you, sir.
08:02Okay, so apparently Ruxo cost $2 million and I have been ordered to rescue him because his
08:06life is worth more than mine.
08:07Oh, you said him.
08:10Mm-hmm.
08:10That was so cute.
08:12Oh!
08:23Hello, Father.
08:24You scared me.
08:25I almost grabbed my couch pistol.
08:26Just checking to see if you need anything.
08:29Maybe water, perhaps?
08:31Yeah, that'd be great, hon.
08:32Thanks.
08:32It's important to stay hydrated.
08:35Yeah.
08:37I can't.
08:39Why don't I fluff that pillow?
08:45Okay.
08:46Mm.
08:47Make sure you're comfortable.
08:48Yep.
08:49Ow!
08:50Ow!
08:50Ow!
08:51Ow!
08:52Ow!
08:55Is that better?
08:57Why are you going all full Kathy Bates and Misery on me?
09:02I'm just being a little bit of a jerk.
09:05Ow!
09:05I don't care about what you liked.
09:09He read your review.
09:10I read my review.
09:11That's classified.
09:13Ugh!
09:13Coming from the man who said classified?
09:15More like assified.
09:17Your problem is that you hem and haw when you're supposed to be giving a direct order
09:20because you're afraid about your soldiers' healings.
09:23Feelings are a real thing and they don't need air quotes.
09:26And I happen to believe that a relaxed workplace is a productive workplace.
09:31Are you an army captain or the manager of a margaritaville?
09:34The people who work for you are not supposed to like you.
09:36Yes.
09:36They're supposed to hate you because you're the boss.
09:38Okay?
09:39Plus it's fun to be mean.
09:40You know what?
09:42You're right.
09:43What do you mean?
09:44Watch this.
09:46What the hell is that?
09:48Enjoy Real Housewives of Minnesota.
09:50Oh, no, no, no.
09:51No.
09:53These people, their accents are going to sound even stupider
09:55when they're drunk.
09:57No!
10:02Help me.
10:03Help me.
10:03It's okay, Ruxo.
10:04Help's on its way.
10:06Stay strong, Ruxo.
10:07Major Sean looks like a ninja turtle that let himself go.
10:10What?
10:12Oh, I said you look like a ninja turtle that's let himself go, sir.
10:16You do, Major.
10:17You do.
10:18Approaching the extraction point.
10:20Help me.
10:20Don't worry, Ruxo.
10:21Step Daddy Sean is coming to save you.
10:24Okay.
10:25Ruxo, stop moving backwards.
10:27Advance towards me.
10:29I can dance.
10:30I said advance.
10:31I can dance.
10:33I said advance.
10:34I can dance.
10:35Listen to my words.
10:36You need to come towards me.
10:37Advance.
10:38Warning.
10:38Landmine detected.
10:40Okay.
10:42Warning.
10:43Landmine detected.
10:44Hey, guys.
10:44Hey, did Ruxo light in the mood with a funny joke?
10:46Yeah, we saw y'all dancing.
10:48He's so funny, right?
10:50I'm on a landmine.
10:51Warning.
10:52Landmine detected.
10:53I know!
10:55Specialist Gideon, you don't think I care too much about being liked, do you?
10:59This feels like a trap.
11:01Oh, no.
11:01I just want your honest feedback.
11:04Well, yeah, you do care too much about being liked.
11:08Okay.
11:10I appreciate that.
11:11I know it's hard to talk to a superior officer.
11:13Actually, since you asked, you wear too much deodorant,
11:16you slouch when you sit.
11:18Your taste in music is super dated.
11:20When you sing, there's no joy in your handwriting.
11:23It's super bubbly and immature.
11:25Okay.
11:25That's great.
11:26Thank you, Gideon.
11:28None of that was devastating.
11:29And you are dismissed.
11:30I need you to call Maggie.
11:32But don't tell her I'm in danger.
11:33I don't want to worry her.
11:34Just...
11:35Play it cool.
11:36But I don't want you to die!
11:38I don't want to see someone explode!
11:40Not again!
11:41Look, I don't want to die either.
11:42Just play it cool.
11:43That is an order.
11:45Okay.
11:50Captain Quinn?
11:51Hey, girl!
11:52How's my queen?
11:54I'm fine.
11:55What's up?
11:56So?
11:56Not an emergency.
11:58Yeah, we just found a landmine.
12:01Okay, but Shaw can diffuse it?
12:03Shaw told me to call you.
12:04He said the landmine's from the World War II era.
12:07We need an expert in weaponry from that time.
12:08Do you know anybody?
12:11The T-30 heavy tank was designed to counter the German Tiger I and Tiger II...
12:17Footage of the T-29, you morons.
12:20I gotta fact check everybody.
12:22No.
12:23No one's coming to mind.
12:24But I will find somebody for you guys.
12:26Well, I mean, take your time.
12:28Just grab some food if you want.
12:30Maybe some sushi and some cold ones and...
12:33Okay, girl.
12:33Bye.
12:34Why would you tell her to stop for beers?
12:36I don't know.
12:38Shaw told me to play it cool.
12:39And I'm freaking out.
12:42Hold on, Shaw!
12:44Help is on the way!
12:45A-a-and!
12:46They're bringing beer!
12:49I am ready to serve.
12:51Beer.
12:54Dietrich.
12:54This is Maggie, Maggie Dietrich.
12:56Jan, thank you so much for bringing your great uncle in to help us out.
13:00My absolute pleasure.
13:01You know, he has big-time World War II knowledge because he's old and he lived it.
13:05Right?
13:06Yeah, I've even had to deal with landmines.
13:10He dealt first hand with the landmines.
13:13Oh.
13:13I'm so sorry to hear that.
13:15Did you lose somebody to a mine?
13:18No.
13:19No, man.
13:20But as a kid, I found them myself.
13:23Okay, so when he was a boy, he helped place the landmines himself.
13:29Is there any chance your great uncle was a little Nazi collaborator?
13:34You know, I have never asked.
13:36He should ask.
13:38Okay.
13:38Um, Dietrich?
13:39Hm?
13:40Was JN Nazi super fun?
13:42Ja.
13:44Okay.
13:45I wanted to see them good because they had the good chocolate.
13:49Okay, so yes, basically he wanted the Nazis to like him.
13:52He wanted the Nazis to like him.
13:54Yeah, because they had a good chocolate, you know.
13:56Ja.
13:56Uh, Jan, you can ask your great uncle to get off the base and never ever ever come back.
14:02Um, Dietrich.
14:04Come.
14:05Let's get some chocolate.
14:06Ah.
14:08Yeah.
14:09Yeah, I got it.
14:10I'm so sorry about you.
14:13Hey.
14:13Hey.
14:14Listen.
14:15After hanging out with a man who was once a boy who helped a Nazi, I am realizing the perils
14:20of needing to be liked.
14:22Tale as old as time.
14:23And you are going to help me disarm a World War II landmine.
14:27That's how you give an order.
14:30Okay.
14:30I like it.
14:31Let's roll.
14:32And when I say let's roll, I mean I'm going to roll over and the adrenaline's going to kick in
14:36and I'm going to stand up.
14:38Give up.
14:38And go.
14:42Oh.
14:43Ha ha.
14:44No adrenaline.
14:45Uh.
14:45Oh my God.
14:46We're going to make it a FaceTime, okay?
14:47Okay.
14:48In my own life, I am always cautious.
14:52I mean, I literally ran away from the woman that I love, and that's why I'm standing here right now.
14:58I mean, I played it safe once again, and now I am about to die.
15:04Warning.
15:04Landmine detected.
15:05You said it, brother.
15:06Stop!
15:07Maggie's here!
15:07It's going to be okay now!
15:09Hey.
15:10Dad, can you, uh, can you see?
15:12Maggie, I can't hear you.
15:13You're on mute.
15:14Maggie!
15:15Oh, wait.
15:16My volume was off.
15:17Yep.
15:18All right.
15:18Thank God you're here.
15:18Yeah.
15:19I-I'm-I'm trying to think of the cool way to say this.
15:22Uh, so Shaw is standing on the landmine.
15:25Shaw's on the landmine.
15:27Shaw!
15:28Don't move!
15:29Trust me!
15:30I won't!
15:31Okay.
15:32Huh.
15:33I can dance.
15:34I can dance.
15:35Rexall was more of a dancer than an emergency responder.
15:39No shade to Rexall.
15:40Oh, no, no.
15:40Not at all.
15:41We need more artists in the world.
15:43Now more than ever.
15:45Shaw!
15:45I'm coming!
15:46Maggie, what are you doing?
15:47Maggie, we can't let you go out there!
15:50Oh, my God.
15:50Is that what we should have done?
15:52Should we have done that?
15:53I mean, I'm holding the walkie.
16:02Hi.
16:04Hi.
16:06Uh, I'm-I'm-I wanted to make sure you're okay.
16:10Yeah.
16:10Maggie, what the hell are you thinking?
16:14Yeah.
16:14Okay.
16:14And I'm muting.
16:16Guys, I can't see anything.
16:18What's going on?
16:18Okay, so how do we, um, get-get you?
16:21Listen, I've been doing a lot of thinking out here.
16:24And Ruxa was a very good listener.
16:27I've played it safe my whole life.
16:28And I still ended up right here, about to explode.
16:33And while I've been standing on this landmine, the only thing that is going through my head over and over
16:38again is that I never got a chance to do this.
16:53I want to stay like this forever.
16:55We probably should.
16:58Because any more movement on top of this landmine is not a good idea.
17:02Landmine.
17:02Landmine.
17:03Landmine.
17:04Okay.
17:04Okay.
17:05Dad, we need you.
17:06There you are.
17:07Listen, Char, we just need to know what kind of a mine we're dealing with, so when you stepped on
17:11it, to make a tick-tick sound, or a ker-ker-ker, or a click-clack.
17:17A click-clack.
17:18Ah, okay.
17:19Dealing with a German teller mine.
17:21You're lucky it wasn't a Bouncing Betty, which they used at the beginning of the war, like in the Sauer
17:24Offensive, and then they used it again at the...
17:26Shut up!
17:27Tell us what to do with this mine!
17:29You're really only being a jerk.
17:31I like it.
17:31Get to the point!
17:35All right, OXO team, listen up.
17:37This is big time.
17:38I need absolute perfection from you, or else this could end in disaster.
17:43Do you understand me?
17:45Sure.
17:46I said, do you understand me?!
17:48Yes, ma'am!
17:49The ruder she is, the more I want to listen to her!
17:51Me too!
17:52Now, with this era of mine, you've got to dig around the plate parameter.
17:55And I'm gonna stabilize Shaw to make sure he doesn't shift off the mine.
18:02Yeah.
18:02You know, that's not really necessary.
18:04Okay, well you're not here, so...
18:07Okay.
18:08Okay, almost there.
18:08Primer exposed.
18:09All right, and I got mud on my hands, but I don't care, I'm working through.
18:13Good.
18:14Now, you loosen that hinge, and you cut the red wire.
18:20Cut the red wire.
18:22Yep.
18:22My life is a movie.
18:24I am the hero.
18:25Now, I'm gonna get the girl.
18:27I better not be the girl.
18:28Okay, back in the movie.
18:28Back in the movie.
18:30Red wire.
18:36Okay.
18:36Good.
18:37Okay.
18:40Now...
18:41Yeah.
18:42Ready?
18:48Good.
19:01Hey, stop jumping, guys.
19:02Stop jumping.
19:04Oh, he's right, he's right, he's right, he's right.
19:05No jumping.
19:06Okay, no more jumping.
19:07Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:08How about that?
19:10Sucker was a dud the whole time.
19:13Oh, look at Ruxo stretching his legs.
19:14Now he's out of the mood.
19:15I can't believe we were freaking out.
19:18There was no danger.
19:27Yeah, I'm leaving the Ruxo team.
19:31Oh, oh!
19:32Oh!
19:34Oh!
19:39Wow, I mean, so much for Minnesota Nights.
19:42I know, right?
19:42These housewives are vicious.
19:44The last episode?
19:45Nora bit Laney.
19:47Bit?
19:48Bitter.
19:49Twice.
19:49Aw, I like Laney.
19:50That's awesome, I love it.
19:51Hey, listen, hey, I already said this once today, but you were right.
19:55I was too worried about needing to be liked, and I actually am feeling myself as a leader.
20:01Good.
20:01You're my kid, so you're inherently better than other people.
20:05You shouldn't be tiptoeing around that fact.
20:06Just kick ass, take names.
20:08And just be a jerk to everybody but you.
20:10No, you're good.
20:11There we go.
20:12Yeah, I can do that.
20:13I too.
20:13Yeah.
20:15Yep.
20:16Yep.
20:40Okay.
20:43Ruxo, when I first met you, I thought you were a glorified Roomba.
20:47I was wrong.
20:48You were a good friend in my time of need.
20:52Changed my life.
20:55For this, I am forever indebted to you.
20:59I can dance.
21:03Yeah, you can.
21:05And he'll dance in robot heaven.
21:07You bet he will.
21:08Yeah, he will.
21:09And now, Ruxo will be laid to rest in a place of honor.
21:14The good dumpster.
21:15The one that doesn't smell as bad.
21:35It's going so well.
21:37Wow.
21:38Wow.
21:38Wow.
21:40Wow.
21:41You
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