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Banjo and Ros Grand Island Hotel - Season 1 - Episode 02: Water
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TVTranscript
00:02Currently, we have to go to another island to have a shower.
00:07Yeah.
00:11How much do you have?
00:12A pound?
00:12A pound?
00:13Did you bring any?
00:14No.
00:15That would buy us three minutes.
00:17Yeah.
00:17I think it's a rip-off, personally.
00:19Hurry up, then.
00:20That's 90 seconds.
00:22I need two minutes.
00:25Oh!
00:25There we go.
00:26There we go.
00:26Oh, my God.
00:28You promised me when we moved in that I'd have running water.
00:32One bit of running water.
00:34I never promised you either.
00:34I'm not asking for the world.
00:37I haven't got a bath.
00:38I haven't got light.
00:40I haven't got windows.
00:42Good things come to those who wait.
00:53I don't know how we're going to live here through all of this.
00:55No power, no water.
00:56This is the time we're going to look back on and think,
01:00ah, yes, those were the days.
01:02Remember when we didn't shower for three weeks?
01:06Our toilet didn't flush.
01:08These are the good old days.
01:11We're going to let the air.
01:12Yeah, my god.
01:25Thanks.
01:28Sitting in the Atlantic Ocean, the remote island of Ulva is accessible only by boat.
01:35It possesses no roads, shops, nor anything one might reasonably call convenience.
01:42Its shores are home to precisely 18 residents.
01:50We've now been on Ulva 29 years this month.
01:56A lot of people ask, how do you manage over there because there's nothing to do?
02:01And that's why I live here, because there's nothing to do.
02:05I do interact with other people, but I try to keep it to a minimum.
02:11The last time I was in Ulva house, it was covered in mould.
02:16The roof leaks, all the windows are rotten, the electrical wiring needs replaced,
02:21and all the plumbing probably needs replaced.
02:25The whole house needs to be gutted down to the stonework and rebuilt.
02:30Despite having no water, no electricity, and a somewhat leaky roof,
02:35Banjo and Ro have moved into Ulva house and begun this major undertaking.
02:41So this is our current bedroom.
02:44It's been pretty grim in here.
02:46I've also got a leak in the cupboard.
02:47I woke up to the sound of dripping and bits of plaster falling into a sink.
02:51I think some of the hardest parts about, like, squatting in this place is keeping things clean and keeping things
02:57dry.
02:58Everything takes about three days to dry, so everything's damp, dusty, mouldy, but it's the nature of the beast.
03:05Come on, boy.
03:08With the whiskey library now complete, attention turns to the hotel lobby.
03:13I want to fuse, like, our Antipodean influences with that quintessential Scottish experience.
03:23It's a mural that starts off at the bottom of the staircase with some tropical motifs, a little bit of
03:30an ocean.
03:31As you kind of crawl up the stairs, the landscape morphs into a kind of more moody Scottish landscape.
03:39It's going to be tropical at the bottom, moody and stormy at the top.
03:44Do I get a palm tree?
03:46No palm trees.
03:48Anything I request, nada, I've got zero.
03:51Every request.
03:52I'm listening, a palm tree.
03:54One little palm tree.
03:56You've got metres and metres and metres of mural space.
03:58We can do better.
04:01The entrance to Ulva House is to be reimagined as an evocative reception hall.
04:07At its heart, a hand-painted mural will chart the improbable voyage from Australia to Ulva.
04:13Lush greenery will spill from corners and shelves, and an arrival desk will welcome any weary travellers looking for somewhere
04:22to lay their head.
04:25I want this mural to be a mash-up of Scotland and Australia, because people are coming to enjoy Scotland
04:32and the landscape here, but they're also in our home and we're Aussie, and I'm a little bit homesick as
04:38well, so I want to have a little bit of us in it and a little bit of Scotland.
04:42But after years of neglect, the walls of Ulva House tell a story of damp winters, peeling paint and ruin.
04:49This needs to be kind of brought into shape before we can do anything.
04:54Yeah.
04:55I haven't seen this much moulds ever in my life.
04:59Like, if we had to get someone in here to clean, who would, well, one, who would, two, we kind
05:04of thought, we kind of thought that.
05:10The reality is, like, the first thing that really needs to be done is the cleaning.
05:14Moulds on every surface.
05:15Baird is over there making some phone calls for our cleaning party on Monday.
05:24It's a hard sell.
05:25Monday morning, come clean my house for me.
05:28Hopefully some people will come.
05:31Hey, guys.
05:32Hello.
05:33How are you?
05:34If we can get 15 people in there to give us a hand, to get it cleaned, to get it
05:37done, that'll be great.
05:38Putting on a bit of grub, bit of a barbecue, and then just do some, like, cleaning at our house.
05:46I'll take three.
05:47I'll be honest.
05:48When you say to Ova, I think you're meaning over.
05:50Yeah, come over to Ova and just, like, you know, wash a few walls.
05:56No, I can't make Monday, no, gents.
05:58All right.
05:58Well, thanks.
05:59Thanks for nothing.
06:00Appreciate it.
06:04I think we're going to have to call in favours from everyone we know on Mull, everyone on the island,
06:10to come and help us with this place.
06:12I'm too old to do it.
06:14Nicholas has got a dodgy hip.
06:18Phil's the farmers busy with the farm.
06:22Ruri's on the...
06:23So there's nobody here to help them.
06:31This is the true test of friendship.
06:34It's make or break from my friendship circle.
06:37No, this is...
06:38Anyone that turns up has gone above and beyond.
06:40If you're not there, you're dead to me.
06:44Hello!
06:46Oh, the cavalry.
06:48Oh, no, you're a lifesaver.
06:50Yeah.
06:51Yeah.
06:55Well, it's a beautiful day for it.
06:57You guys need to thaw rap.
07:01We've got buckets.
07:02We've got heaps of cleaning stuff.
07:04We'll start filling things up and just give it a go.
07:11I kind of miss the old crumbly walls.
07:15You're doing amazing, sweetie.
07:17Just the last bit.
07:18It's honestly the last bit, Asha.
07:22Wow.
07:23It's so light, isn't it?
07:25It's a brand new house.
07:28Thank you, everyone.
07:31Who wants a drink?
07:33Yeah, let's get a wine.
07:37I guess phase two is plastering.
07:40I think with this mural idea, what I really like is the story of sort of us travelling from Australia
07:47to here.
07:48That was our journey.
07:50Ro and I met at the pub and it was love at first sight.
07:53I had tunnel vision for it.
07:54It was just this vision with a ponytail.
07:57And a couple of weeks after we met, we bought a one-way ticket to Sri Lanka.
08:00We were only dating for a tiny bit and then we're on this adventure and that adventure led us to
08:07Mo.
08:07Yeah, it was just such a joyous time.
08:15When I say palm trees, it's got a really special place in my heart.
08:20Like, it was when we went on holidays and we're travelling together.
08:24Our first home had palm trees in the back garden.
08:27It's so evocative of all of those memories.
08:28Like, it just takes me straight back to those times.
08:33Yeah, that's why it was important to me to have it on the mural.
08:38I think I've been converted to the palm tree.
08:45We're up to the painting now, which is the fun-er part of it all.
08:49There's been a few late nights sanding, a few late nights scraping.
08:53Just trying to stay on schedule.
08:54There's a mural artist who's coming.
08:57There is a bit of pressure to get everything done that needs to be done before they get here.
09:02It can get quite overwhelming when you walk around the house and see all the work that needs to be
09:06done
09:06and all the wall space that needs to be prepared and prepped and painted.
09:12Banjo has enlisted a mural artist from Bristol to bring the tropics of Australia to the Hebridean walls of Alva
09:19House.
09:22We're doing a mural on the staircase.
09:24We're doing a mural on the staircase.
09:24Yeah, Phil.
09:25So is there going to be figures?
09:27A rugged ferryman maybe in the back there?
09:30Yeah, and a rugged ferry.
09:37Here we are.
09:40It's not too scary.
09:41It looks bigger though now in the white, doesn't it?
09:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:45It looks massive.
09:46Honestly, kid.
09:47I know.
09:47Well done.
09:48You've painted that.
09:50This looked very different 48 hours ago.
09:52So it's representing our journey.
09:55We reached Scotland upstairs, but this is all about Australia down here.
10:00I would love a palm tree.
10:02It's a palm tree and a thistle.
10:04The classic combo.
10:05We'll marry it together with colours, even if it seems like a pretty random combination.
10:10Okay, can we leave you to it?
10:11I guess so.
10:12All right, you get yourself sorted.
10:18So I've got to leave the island.
10:19That means leaving Ro to do the work here on the ground and leaving him a really long to-do
10:27list.
10:28What do I need to do while you're away?
10:30We need to patch the outside, any water coming in.
10:32So we need to make sure the roof's not leaking.
10:36You need to investigate the plumbing.
10:38If it's leaking and it damages anything that's not damaged now, that's what we need to discover.
10:42If it goes wrong, it'll go really wrong.
10:43We'll have more water damage in walls and ceilings than we already have.
10:49Are you okay?
10:50No, I'm not okay.
10:51It's daunting.
10:52Look around this room.
10:53This is where we're living at the moment.
10:54I don't know where anything is.
10:56Where's the wrench?
10:58Like, where's my undies?
11:00But I don't know where anything is at this point.
11:02It's really daunting on how to, one, renovate the place and then, one, how to live in it.
11:10Yeah, I'm terrified.
11:12It's all going to be okay.
11:14Yeah, I know.
11:14It's just when you start, I guess, putting things down on paper and realizing, and it's so much is out
11:21of our control.
11:23I know how overwhelming it is.
11:26It's a lot.
11:27But if we're moving in the right direction and we do one thing, that's one less thing we have to
11:33do tomorrow.
11:34We got this, kid.
11:36I love you.
11:37I love you too.
11:42While the mural slowly begins to emerge, Banjo departs for Mull on a mission to procure interior treasures, leaving Roe
11:52to hold the fort at the homestead.
11:54Love you.
11:55I love you too.
11:58Bye, Grimpa.
12:00Oh, man.
12:01Perfect timing.
12:02It's when all the work has to begin.
12:04Yeah, you're smarter than you would.
12:06I know.
12:06Thanks.
12:07All right.
12:08Just me and you, buddy.
12:09First mystery to solve, the leaky roof.
12:12Andy has gone up and had a look for us.
12:17Howdy, Andy.
12:17Howdy.
12:18You all right?
12:19Yeah, going all right.
12:20So this is towards the apex of the roof.
12:24You can just see where you should have mortar.
12:26It's all gone.
12:27So they're big slabs and the water's running down the slab and falling into the joints.
12:31And they're dying.
12:31Yeah.
12:32I suspect we'll just need to remortar them.
12:34Yeah, so you should be fine.
12:35Yeah.
12:35Yeah, yeah.
12:36Next enigma to crack, the ancient water system around the house.
12:41This is John.
12:42This is Roe.
12:42Roe.
12:43Nice to meet you.
12:43So you're the plumber.
12:45So yeah, I'll try and give you as much information as I can.
12:47You're probably better at the discovery than what I'll be able to tell you anyway.
12:52So John's going around and he's checking all the water pipes.
12:55Some of them are probably not in use because it's been upgraded at some point.
12:58Ah, okay.
12:59This would be the cold water storage tank for the house that would supply the water that
13:04would have came up with the taps.
13:05Okay, so this is where the drinking water would come from.
13:07Is it?
13:08I'm not sure you could class it as proper drinking water.
13:11So, I mean, you can see the amount of rust that's inside of it until it obviously failed
13:16and somebody has isolated it.
13:17The truth.
13:18That's wild.
13:20But there is a more recent pipe system to explore.
13:24So I haven't been down here before.
13:26Wait.
13:27I'm just assuming.
13:28We'll lift it and see.
13:30Yeah, it's the only one I've...
13:32I think it's good.
13:33It's accessible.
13:35I need to go under and check.
13:44Are you all right, John?
13:45Yeah, well, good.
13:46All right, okay.
13:47From the tiny little bit I can see down there, it looks dry.
13:51So I think that's good.
13:52Oh, John's come back.
13:53It's actually looking okay.
13:55Yeah.
13:55So the older, bigger stuff that we can see is probably not in use anymore.
13:58Brilliant.
13:59We need to test it, but...
14:00If there is any problems, then we can fix it.
14:02Okay.
14:02Yeah.
14:03Cool.
14:03Thanks, John.
14:06While the plumbers prepare to test the cold running water through the pipes,
14:10Banjo has arrived on Mull.
14:13In pursuit of a critical item for the lobby
14:15and, naturally, any other treasures that might present themselves.
14:19I've got collections and piles of junk in all corners of Mull.
14:25I've got everything I could ever need to pull a scheme together.
14:29I don't even know what's in there, and I forget even buying half of it.
14:32But I know that I'm always going to find something in there and spin it into gold.
14:37That's a lovely thing.
14:40It's a potential bedroom piece, actually.
14:43A headboard with a skull on it.
14:53When I was a little boy, all I ever wanted to be was an old man.
14:58I think I just love old things.
15:01I love patina.
15:02I love the story that these pieces bring.
15:05And I want people to feel that when they walk in the door.
15:08I want them to switch off their phone and their worries
15:10and just step back into a time that was maybe a little bit simpler.
15:15Ooh.
15:16That could be good.
15:18Frames.
15:19They could come in handy.
15:23Back at the house, Andy has re-mortered the roof
15:27and Melissa is making steady progress on the mural.
15:30I'm kind of building up the layers of the background,
15:33get kind of lots of colour washes in
15:35and kind of go from there, build things gradually.
15:39I am trying to get some dark, kind of contrasting tones in
15:44and then I'm going to soften it all
15:46and kind of bring it together again afterwards.
15:48I think it will become clear later on where this is.
15:51I'm just kind of trying to build up
15:53a lot of different areas at once
15:55and then I'm going to kind of fine-tune them
15:57and bring them together.
16:06Gary!
16:08How are you getting on?
16:09Yeah, how are you getting on?
16:10Not too bad, not too bad.
16:12Upstairs for Roe, it's the moment of truth.
16:15It's time to test the pipes.
16:17If everything goes as planned,
16:19you'll have water throughout the house.
16:21That means you get the stench of pee
16:24from the toilets away as well.
16:25Yeah.
16:26If there's a leak, if anything does go,
16:27I can turn it off.
16:28It shouldn't leak, right?
16:30We'll put it on and we'll see what happens.
16:32That's the...
16:33OK, OK.
16:35Chris, you got people stationed around the house?
16:37I don't pull them upstairs.
16:38Right, that's fine. You're downstairs.
16:40No.
16:41Let's do it.
16:42You ready for that?
16:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:43I'm going to put the water on now, right?
16:46Right, it's good on, Chris.
16:47Let me know if you hear that, hun.
17:11OK, grim but working.
17:17OK.
17:19That's good.
17:20Oh.
17:21Oh.
17:22Oh.
17:25So far, so good.
17:26So far, so good.
17:27All right.
17:28Perfect.
17:31Hello.
17:32Hello.
17:32Yeah, hello.
17:33They've just turned on the cold water
17:35and we have cold water
17:37and toilets
17:38and showers.
17:39Yeah, boy.
17:41Yes, that's good.
17:42I want hot water.
17:45Look,
17:46I'm going to have a cold shower tonight.
17:48Do you know we can just have...
17:49I know it's not hot.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:51I never wanted a cold shower more.
17:53I know.
17:54All right, bye.
17:54Love you.
17:55Love you.
17:56Without a connection to the mainland system,
17:59the water on Ulva
18:00is naturally filtered through a peat bog,
18:03picking up the colour of amber
18:04and the smell of rain
18:06before finding its way to the taps.
18:16So, look,
18:17it's got a bit of discolouration through it.
18:19When you do compare it
18:20like what you would expect water,
18:22the colour becomes a bit more noticeable.
18:24It's fine.
18:25There's no nasties in it.
18:27It's mineral rich
18:28is the way I would look at it.
18:30We're just going to call it
18:31peated mineral rich water.
18:33So.
18:35But not everybody on the island
18:38trusts the water.
18:49I got this car off Jeanette.
18:53So it's more or less a community vehicle.
18:56And we get water,
18:58any heavy mill that comes,
19:01big parcels.
19:03There was opposition to me
19:04bringing this on to the island
19:06by certain people.
19:10But it's here now anyway,
19:12so it doesn't really matter.
19:15Because of the quality of the water,
19:18I have to go down once a week
19:21to fill up water bottles
19:23for drinking and cooking.
19:27moment.
19:27And as a friend,
19:27I have a feeling
19:28I am in the derpain.
19:32And you are a happy toute
19:41Movingannah,
19:42And as a friend,
19:47and the story,
19:48I was like
19:48you and me.
19:50they have to do...
19:51your husband,
19:52I have to do it.
19:53You're going to do it.
19:54I will bring them ''
19:59Doing this restoration, it's hard.
20:03It's way harder than I ever could have anticipated.
20:07It's hard getting things sorted without Banshee.
20:10I miss it. I miss having my rock and, yeah,
20:12having that person to be there, but also help.
20:16But now you're here
20:20Brighten my northern sky
20:22You know, sometimes I do miss Australia.
20:25You know, there's so many happy memories.
20:27And then we've come here and it feels completely different
20:30and I don't understand just yet why I love it so much.
20:34It's like a magnet.
20:39That I don't know why I feel so connected to, but I do.
20:46I love it. I really, really love it.
20:49They're perfect.
20:50I really, really, really love it.
20:52Okay.
20:53I'm almost emotional.
20:54No!
20:55Yeah, because it does.
20:56It does remind me of home.
20:59That's really sweet.
21:00And I don't get homesick often, but...
21:02No.
21:02Yeah.
21:03It's going to make you feel more at home.
21:04It does make me feel more at home.
21:05It does, it does.
21:06I don't even know why I'm...
21:08Quick, let's call in grandpa.
21:10Yeah, I'm not homesick.
21:12It's just...
21:13It's perfect.
21:15You've just captured scenes and visions in this.
21:19Well, you did.
21:20Yeah.
21:20I'm really...
21:21I love it.
21:22Thanks, Melissa.
21:23I'll stop crying now.
21:25I promise.
21:26You're crying.
21:26No.
21:27Thanks.
21:33All that remains now is to fill the hotel lobby with Banjo's carefully acquired treasures.
21:40Ding!
21:41Welcome to the Grand Island Hotel.
21:44Do you have a reservation?
21:45Yeah, booking for two.
21:47Oh, is he?
21:49Where on earth did you find that?
21:51Barbara.
21:52Barbara?
21:52Barbara and the Borders.
21:54Barbara's had it for years.
21:56Husband wanted to get rid of it.
21:57Said you'd be doing us a favour to get rid of it.
22:00You did good.
22:01Yay!
22:02Aw.
22:04All right.
22:04Should we get it over?
22:05Howdy, Rui.
22:06What have you got there, Steve?
22:07Oh.
22:08A reception desk.
22:09Oh, thanks, mate.
22:14I think it sits nice with the palm trees.
22:16No, I think it's great.
22:18I've invited the cleaning party back.
22:20I think they'll love it.
22:21Oh, I hope they do.
22:23Gosh, imagine if they don't.
22:25No, they don't.
22:26This is our first guests.
22:30I think the magic's in the mix when you pull a space together like this.
22:34Texture, natural materials, crack paint.
22:37All of that adds up to that lovely, warm feeling guests are going to get when they walk in.
22:43I don't know how it's all going to go together, but that's where...
22:45So, I'm thinking of the original inspiration board.
22:49What if we put them, kind of suspend them in the frame on the wall?
22:56Do we have more frames?
22:58Well, we need to scrub the bird poo off that for starters.
23:04Oh, that's a moment.
23:05I do love it.
23:07I think that looks good, because the mural is the backdrop to everything else.
23:14Your eye has somewhere to land.
23:17Otherwise, you're staring off into yonder, confused why there's a palm tree in a hotel in Scotland.
23:23Oh, that's cleaning the door.
23:36Come on.
23:43Hello.
23:44Welcome to the Grand Island Hotel.
23:46Wow.
23:48Wow.
24:09Do you like the mural?
24:15I love the palm trees.
24:17Well, it's meant to be, like, a bit of a story of our travel here.
24:22Picture this, bro and I, a couple of young whippersnappers, we're in Australia, we've got a big dream, just a
24:27couple of dollars in our pocket.
24:29We leave Australia, we buy a one-way ticket to Sri Lanka, then we arrive in, like, the misty moors
24:34of Scotland.
24:35We land on Mull, and we've arrived.
24:38You did help us get to this point, and clean it up.
24:41Yeah.
24:41So, we're very grateful.
24:43Incredibly grateful.
24:44Yeah, it's incredible.
24:45You're amazing.
24:46No one else could have done this.
24:49They created something quite magical.
24:52You can really tell it's bedroom row, but sometimes it really fits into the house.
24:58It's lovely.
24:59It's a real homage to their journey.
25:04Our romantic explorers have successfully transformed the entrance to Ulva House,
25:10restored cold running water to its ancient pipes,
25:14and begun to repair the various leaks to the roof.
25:17All achievements worthy of celebration.
25:32My, my, my, it's a beautiful world.
25:35Like, what a treat, you know?
25:37Oh, yeah.
25:38It's just nice to be out here and, like, remind yourself why we fell in love with the place.
25:43Yeah, we can get caught up in it all, can't we?
25:46Yeah.
25:48Where a man can still be free, or a woman if you are one.
25:54I like springing in the sea.
25:59Oh, my, my, my, it's a beautiful world.
26:04Time for a puffin picnic.
26:10With a little bit of love saying...
26:12Stunning.
26:18I don't know if we have properly stopped.
26:20It's been a lot.
26:22Yeah, I know.
26:23Well...
26:24You've struggled.
26:25Yeah, I struggled the other day.
26:27Life just felt really tough.
26:28It's all worth it.
26:29That's the thing.
26:30If we keep our eyes on the prize...
26:32Yeah.
26:32...we're here to kind of build a life for ourselves.
26:35How did we end up here?
26:37Yeah, I don't know.
26:37It's wild, isn't it?
26:38So far away from where we grew up, like the middle of nowhere, the bush.
26:44Oh, yeah, we weren't surrounded by sea.
26:46Not at all.
26:46I've always loved the sea.
26:48That's why I'm so glad we've moved to this place and we're surrounded by it.
26:51Remember that time you died at sea?
26:55I was a fisherman and I was out working.
26:58You thought I died.
26:59That's what the mail I got was, like, two blokes on this boat have died.
27:04So I went down to the pier, was there with the other fisherman's wife.
27:09We had a cry and then I was like, all right, well, he's gone.
27:13I had the most beautiful service arranged for you.
27:16Honestly, I didn't know.
27:17I'm glad I didn't die.
27:19Me too.
27:19I'm glad you didn't die.
27:21You've done a lot of jobs.
27:22Yeah, we've done what we've needed to do to get by.
27:24Yeah.
27:25Cheers to us.
27:25Cheers to us.
27:26There's no place I'd rather be.
27:28I watch the sun as it comes up.
27:30I watch it as it sets.
27:33Yeah, this is as good as it gets.
27:39So my, my, my, it's a beautiful world.
27:44I like swimming in the sea.
27:53I like swimming in the sea.
27:54I like swimming in the sea.
27:54I like swimming in the sea.
27:54I like swimming in the sea.
27:55I like swimming in the sea.
27:55I like swimming in the sea.
27:56I like swimming in the sea.
27:56I like swimming in the sea.
27:57I like swimming in the sea.
27:57I like swimming in the sea.
27:58I like swimming in the sea.
27:58I like swimming in the sea.
27:59I like swimming in the sea.
27:59I like swimming in the sea.
28:00You
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