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From suburban dad chaos to sibling schemes and Lois at the end of her rope, these *Malcolm in the Middle* moments deliver nonstop laughs. We’re revisiting the show’s most outrageous gags, unforgettable meltdowns, and legendary family disasters, including Hal’s bizarre hobbies, Reese’s food panic, Dewey’s unexpected wisdom, and plenty of the Wilkersons’ trademark mayhem.
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00:03The future's now, old man!
00:06Welcome to Ms. Mojo, and today we're counting down our picks for the most side-splitting,
00:12ridiculous and unforgettable gags, one-liners and chaotic scenarios from the iconic family
00:18sitcom, Malcolm in the Middle.
00:21No! No! No!
00:23Shut up!
00:25Shut up!
00:27Number 20. Hal Goes to Burning Man
00:30What happens when you take your average suburban dad and put him in the free-spirited chaos that
00:36is Burning Man?
00:37What's he doing?
00:38It's performance art.
00:41He's skewering the empty banality of the modern suburban dad.
00:44Honey, where did I put my good basting brush?
00:48Honey?
00:49Well, if you ask the other attendees, you get one of the funniest yet vicious bits of performance
00:54art you'll ever see.
00:55Yeah, from the moment they arrive, Hal is clearly as much a fish-out-of-water as a fish-in
01:01-the-desert
01:01can be.
01:02What are you looking at?
01:04Haven't you ever seen a man sweep his lawn with a broom before?
01:08Oh, yeah.
01:10Okay, that's enough.
01:11I've had it.
01:11Come on, get out of here, you punk!
01:12No matter what he does, the onlookers assume he's doing a commentary on the futility of
01:18suburban life.
01:19Yet, all this goes over his head completely.
01:21We know the series likes to mix life lessons into its comedy, but this takes it to a whole
01:26new level.
01:27Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you, young man!
01:38Get off my property!
01:4219.
01:43Dewey Gets Theological
01:44What do religion and an anthill have in common?
01:47Well, a lot if you ask Dewey.
01:50I spent days watching the ants, trying to figure out which ones were good and which
01:54ones were bad, but they all just looked like ants, so I started smiting all of them.
01:59When the family embraces their faith, if just to give them some respite from baby Jamie,
02:04it changes everyone in some way, and Dewey doesn't like it.
02:08But when he confronts their bible class teacher about this horrible deity who makes children
02:12think outside of school, he ends up having an enlightenment of his own.
02:17Those ants could have been praying to me all day.
02:19I wouldn't have heard them.
02:22There was nothing they could do about it.
02:24He finds total peace and happiness in the idea that we are all just ants, and that the
02:29best way to live life is with kindness and without giving the great shovel in the sky too
02:33much thought.
02:34I guess all we can do is live our lives with as much kindness and decency as possible,
02:38and try not to dwell on God standing over us with that giant shovel.
02:42Bye!
02:42Number 18.
02:44The Red Dress Drama
02:45Lois is the original boy mom, battle-hardened and unflappable.
02:50Who?
02:54I don't like that one anyway.
02:59No!
02:59No!
03:00Not that one!
03:00When her prized red dress turns up scorched and unceremoniously stuffed in the toilet,
03:06she launches a full-scale investigation that would make any detective proud.
03:10The boys might have stood no chance if not for Frances, their rogue agent phoning in counter-intel
03:16from afar.
03:17Did she do the toy thing yet?
03:18Yep.
03:19Spinning?
03:19Uh huh.
03:20Okay.
03:21Good.
03:22I think I know where she's going.
03:23Separate interviews.
03:24Listen, when she gets you alone, she's gonna pretend she's on your side.
03:29She's not.
03:30Oh, and did we mention all of this is happening while Hal is waiting for her at their anniversary
03:34dinner?
03:35This is warfare at its funniest and most diabolical.
03:38Of course, it's only once both sides call a truce that we find out who the actual perp
03:43is.
03:43We hope for his sake that Lois never finds out.
03:47Oh!
03:47No!
03:48No!
03:49Okay.
03:50Okay.
03:50Oh!
03:51Geez!
03:52Not again!
03:55Number 17.
03:56Lois' traffic jam meltdown.
03:59Hey, we've all been there.
04:00It's hot, it's stuffy, you're in the car with people driving you nuts, and you're stuck
04:05in gridlock traffic.
04:06Hey!
04:07Let me clear something up for you!
04:09This is a car wreck!
04:10You're a road crew!
04:11Do your job!
04:12The car is a pressure cooker, the air thick with frustration, and Lois is a woman on the
04:17edge, until she decides to take matters and heavy machinery into her own hands.
04:23Why is nothing happening?!
04:25Look, we can't touch anything until the investigators sign off on the accident report.
04:29Okay, but they must have been dead hours ago.
04:31Where are they?
04:32That's a whole nother department.
04:33It's really not my job to know.
04:38Start the crane!
04:43Jane Kaczmarek's performance is a tour de force, transforming Lois' simmering rage into
04:49a full-blown, crane-operating spectacle that leaves the construction crew amused and the
04:54audience howling.
04:55Yes, things just keep getting more ridiculous, with the on-site crew barely managing to contain
05:01her, and a scene-stealing dog ultimately proving to be the real pro in Lois' management.
05:06If there's nobody's damn dog, then I guess nobody's gonna mind if I just do this!
05:16Oh, don't be scared, little doggie.
05:20Oh no, everything's gonna be up.
05:26Number 16, taking the blame.
05:29When Lois goes into full beast mode, even Hal knows better than to face her alone, unless
05:34he can outsource the blame to his sons for the right price.
05:38Who wants to make five bucks?
05:40Hal!
05:40I need someone to take the fall.
05:42Oh my god!
05:43The boys don't even need to know what they're being blamed for.
05:46They know that Hal's desperation is worth top dollar.
05:49Malcolm, the negotiator, turns his panic into a bidding war.
05:53In this household, trouble is a commodity, and everyone knows the going rate.
05:57Oh my god!
06:00Make it ten.
06:00Each off-screen oh my god from Lois ratchets up the tension, and Malcolm could have held
06:06out for more than ten bucks.
06:07It's a hilarious reminder that in this family, survival is all about knowing when to cut a deal.
06:13You're a good son.
06:14I got him, honey!
06:15I got him, don't worry!
06:16Number 15, the Komodo 3000.
06:19Malcolm, Reese, fireworks, what could possibly go wrong?
06:22One last thing.
06:23We're planning an event for a friend.
06:26You got anything that will make it really special?
06:28Depends on how much you're willing to spend.
06:30Why don't you let my dad worry about that?
06:32Once the reigning king of bad decisions, Francis is now trying to play the part of responsible
06:37adult at Otto's ranch, until his brothers show up and expertly lure him back to the dark side.
06:43What follows is a visual gag for the ages.
06:46A spectacular explosion, followed by the trio standing in pitch black silence.
06:51Eyes wide and utterly blinded.
06:53This may even top Homecoming 98.
06:55I don't know.
06:57That float smolded for a week.
06:59How do we know which one's a Komodo 3000?
07:01We've all had that moment where we know a choice is bad, but the curiosity, or the firework,
07:07is just too big to ignore.
07:09Well, at least they'll have to wait a few days to see the consequences of the actions.
07:13Let's hope that was it!
07:16Did it say when our vision would come back?
07:20Box said two days.
07:23Totally worth it!
07:24Number 14.
07:26A foot spa heist.
07:27The entire premise of this episode is hilarious, with Lois imagining her life with daughters
07:32rather than sons.
07:34But of course, the highlight has to be Hal's mission to buy a foot spa for Lois.
07:38But you have to- I need the- the perfect- my wife-
07:45Sir!
07:46Sir!
07:47Call it devotion, call it desperation, call it fear.
07:50Hal does whatever he can to not leave them all without one.
07:53And we mean anything.
07:55Too bad he grabs the wrong bag to begin with.
08:03Still, watching Hal race up the downward escalator for a second time almost feels like a metaphor
08:08for his entire life.
08:10And it would all have been worth it if he'd actually come away with the right item the
08:14second time around.
08:23Number 13.
08:25The Painting.
08:26Hal is, how shall we put this, a man of extremes.
08:29No, really, he has zero middle ground.
08:32I can see it so clearly.
08:33Every line, every streak, every daub, the blazing crimson flushes, the vivid blue tones.
08:41The almost subliminal tinges of tangerine.
08:43Yes, Hal.
08:43I have heard this before.
08:45We never actually see the painting.
08:46We only see the back of the massive canvas and the mess it creates.
08:50The hilarious gap between Hal's internal vision, which he treats like a divine masterpiece,
08:55and the reality of a middle-aged man covered in $1,000 worth of paint losing his mind in
09:01a garage is what makes this a classic Hal moment.
09:04Speaker 1, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1.
09:15Watching him dismantle everything for a blue dot perfectly sums up his fragile psyche and
09:21total commitment.
09:22Well, no one can say he doesn't truly immerse himself in his art.
09:25Look out, paint the land!
09:32i'm okay i'm okay number 12 take a chance on me there's something about abba that brings out
09:39everyone's inner dancing queen he couldn't possibly be dealing with anything weird and
09:44confusing he couldn't possibly be afraid to admit that he wanted to go see a musical because you'd
09:49make fun of him the family's scheming neighbor jessica manipulates the brothers into a trip to
09:53see mama mia but her meddling has an unexpected upside the boys end up showing genuine kindness
09:59to each other a rare and heartwarming sight the real magic though comes when the brothers break
10:04into an impromptu dance party to abba's take a chance on me if you change your mind take a chance
10:16each one seemingly just playing along for the other's sake but it's obvious they're both loving
10:21every second it's a moment of pure infectious fun that captures the show's knack for turning
10:27sibling rivalry into something unexpectedly sweet and irresistibly danceable
10:39number 11 malcolm strikes an open frame this episode is a master class in sitcom storytelling
10:46splitting reality into two parallel universes where a simple bowling party becomes a battleground for
10:52parental philosophies well boys you are gonna have so much one complaint about your behavior and i'll
10:57come down on you like a hammer under lois's hawkeye supervision the stakes skyrocket as she turns into
11:03the ultimate helicopter mom determined to sculpt her sons into champions poor malcolm usually the golden
11:09boy buckles under the weight of her expectations lois cannot fathom that her prodigy might be terrible
11:15at something as basic as bowling okay mom you want to see a strike malcolm what are you doing look
11:22at me
11:23i'm the world's greatest bowler after a relentless night of pressure malcolm finally snaps and pours
11:29everything into one last shot the result is a moment that's both hilarious and painfully real
11:34as he misses every single pin from inches away you want a strike i'll give you a strike here's your
11:41damn
11:44strike
11:46number 10 reese's oven panic reese is generally dim-witted and mean-spirited but even he manages
11:54to have surprising streaks of intelligence or competence the most notable of these is his
11:59passion for and skill in the kitchen but the second oldest child having an aptitude for cooking
12:05that surpasses everyone else in the family that means i have exactly 12 hours left to create the
12:09most fantastic thanksgiving feast in the history of thanksgiving feasts however reese's desire to
12:14make the perfect thanksgiving dinner leads him to panic and forget some essential things the monkfish
12:21where the oven mitts when it comes time to take something out of the oven at a precise time
12:25he panics when he's unable to find the oven mitts ultimately using his bare hands and asking that the
12:31oven mitts be moved out of the way so he can set the hot tree down what are you gonna
12:35do
12:35there's only one thing i can do
12:38there's only one thing i can do
12:39there's only one thing i can do
12:40priest no
12:40yes
12:41ah ah ah ah don't leave me in space
12:44where
12:45move the oven mitts
12:48number nine jamie's birth
12:50eww
12:52eww
12:53eww
12:54eww
12:54eww
12:55eww
12:55eww
12:55eww
12:55eww
12:55eww
13:03eww
13:04the birth of lois's youngest and newest child is typically hectic and sees the boys learning about
13:09babies hal getting into a car accident and family friends in their yard as lois goes into
13:15labor at home with the paramedics being delayed where are the paramedics these contractions are too close to
13:20time
13:21francis this baby's gonna be born any minute i want you to do something for me
13:26what you want me to do i want you to deliver the baby the crown jewel though is when eldest
13:30son francis
13:31is forced to deliver his own mother's baby which proves rather traumatic for him
13:36god i can't believe i'm looking at this i'm gonna die
13:40number eight parking lot duel
13:41despite generally being the sane one in the family lois is rather unhinged as well
13:46this is especially evident when she has to interact with others outside her family or co-workers
13:51a shopping trip to the mall takes a strange turn when an upper middle class woman opens her car door
13:56and hits her car
13:57i know you didn't think anyone would catch you but you just slammed your door into my car
14:01the least you can do is say you're sorry lady
14:03lois proves just as infantile as her children by doing the same to the woman's car when she doesn't
14:08apologize
14:11i'm sorry see like that
14:14this soon escalates into a full-on demolition derby match in the parking lot
14:18the road rage displayed by both drivers the unusual setting and the comically low speed finish
14:24make this a hilarious moment indeed
14:31i don't know what happened i just lost control of myself
14:35number seven francis's slingshot
14:38let's go through this one more time malcolm what's your job aimer reese
14:42loader dewey what do you do if you see mom and dad coming
14:50all the boys in the family are fond of troublemaking to some degree or other francis leads the pack
14:56both in experience and in creativity when the firstborn son returns home near halloween he decides
15:02to lead his brothers in setting up an enormous slingshot on the roof of the house which they
15:06then proceed to use to terrorize the neighborhood with a wide variety of projectiles you hear something
15:15although some of their victims turned the tables on them by the episode's end
15:18their volleys of food and other objects were entertaining while they lasted
15:24diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper diaper oh all right no more of those number six funky town
15:35you may not like my methods but let me just show you what you can accomplish if you stick with
15:40it
15:40family patriarch hal is incredibly goofy which can be embarrassing for his sons particularly early
15:47on in the series although he has a number of strange hobbies he is a skilled dancer and skater
15:52so when malcolm grudgingly asks his father to teach him to skate hal does so with gusto instructing
15:58malcolm how to do so by dancing flamboyantly to the tune of funky town by lips inc surprisingly hal's
16:04bizarre training method pays off when malcolm plays street hockey against the neighborhood kids and he uses
16:09the moves he learned to be good at the game i know i look like an idiot but i'm kicking
16:14ass
16:16number five clowns fight listen wide ride these guys are just trying to do something nice for you
16:20give them a break after hal and the boys forget her birthday lois goes to the batting cages to blow
16:26off some steam realizing their mistake they follow her there and get her an impromptu cake and birthday
16:31clown in an attempt to make amends although she asks that they change so that she feels more appreciated
16:37hal and the others make it clear that they'll probably continue disappointing her oh geez honey
16:43that's never gonna happen what we're not smart enough to do that look who you're talking to you
16:50might as well ask us all to be a foot taller however after the clown makes a crack about lois's
16:55appearance hal punches him out leading to a brawl with several clowns which the boys join in on seeing
17:02how much they care for lois as well as the violence juxtaposed with a slow jam by kenny rogers
17:07makes for a hilarious and somewhat touching moment number four trashing the family reunion
17:13what are you gonna do we don't know we never know on a similar note the family's trip to a
17:20reunion slash birthday for hal's dad ends in chaos albeit well motivated after spending most of the
17:26day sucking up to their more affluent relatives the boys are distressed when lois who has been
17:32mistreated by their extended family all day is finally driven to tears all right everybody ready
17:38i was born ready in revenge they take a golf cart and crash through the dinner table and cause general
17:45mayhem before finally driving it into a pool once again using their skills and mischief to defend
17:50their mother from those who mistreat her maliciously if you ever drive a golf cart over a catered
17:55or into a swimming pool again there will be consequences dire consequences number three
18:01hal race walking hal's hobbies are numerous in the show but possibly our favorite is when he gets into
18:07race speed walking like everything he gets into hal falls head over heels in love with the sport
18:13after seeing a group of people engaging in the activity in a park comparing them to gods look at
18:19guys i think we got ourselves a natural look at me i can walk hal gradually becomes more and more
18:29obsessed eventually getting to the point where he has absurd military fantasies about it and wears a
18:34ridiculous fiery costume while walking don't worry won't get far
18:41however his outlandish confrontation with a rival race walker who's secretly a mere jogger puts an end to
18:48hal's career the tape sees all and i see the tape you are not a race walker at all you're
18:54nothing but
18:54a common jogger number two hal pops his balloon children when hal learns that he may have a serious
19:01illness lois starts taking out her worry on the boys being even harsher than usual with them you and
19:06your brother are not to leave this room i don't want to see you i don't want to hear you
19:09i don't want
19:10to so much as sense your presence for crying out loud race there's a mirror right there this prompts
19:17reese and malcolm to sneak out of the house at night and leave decoys in their beds consisting of
19:22a balloon and a scary mask when hal worried over his possible mortality comes in he unknowingly gives
19:28a heartfelt and emotional speech to his boys who besides dewey aren't there god i am so proud of all
19:34of you your kids the best thing i've ever done when he goes to kiss one good night he pops
19:42the balloon
19:42prompting him to scream at the top of his lungs and waking dewey who sees the halloween mask and
19:48adds his own shrieks in a fantastic and hysterical tonal reversal sleep well my little angels
20:02before we unveil our top pick here are a few honorable mentions blello you learn something new every day
20:10guys guys guys i've made a discovery when you mix blue and yellow you get an entirely new color
20:17i'm gonna name it blello teenage lois lois ruins reese's new favorite book i thought i told you to
20:25take out what are you doing with my old diary
20:34too clean well that's one way to cover up the evidence it's too clean you're right you'll never
20:42buy it
20:49cats ate her face what happened to aunt helen cats ate her face dewey i think you're confused i'm asking
20:55about aunt helen cats ate her face look would you just put mom or dad on the phone hello dad
21:02what
21:03happened to aunt helen cats ate her face well here doing knows more about it than i do lois's revenge
21:08you don't mess with lois's boys i'm a very busy woman malcolm it isn't easy running this household
21:14i can imagine cooking shopping cutting the heads off of dolls i have no idea what you're talking about
21:28before we continue check out this single from sound mojo's audio songs from iran reimagining persian
21:34melodies as modern rock metal and pop songs check out the full track and album below
21:40come to me and calm this flame without your love i'm not the same i want you near i want
21:47you now i die for you
21:50i'll make that foul number one bounce house
22:01a rich friend allows dewey to have his dream birthday party complete with a bounce house meanwhile
22:06malcolm becomes distraught after he's dumped by his girlfriend you know son this is all part of growing
22:10up you're just gonna have to get used to it no i don't i can go back desperate to feel
22:24happy again
22:25he tries to go inside the bouncy centerpiece of his brother's party hoping to regress to a time of
22:29childlike joy although dewey tells him he's too big what are you doing playing i'm gonna play you can't
22:37you're too bad malcolm's exaggerated grin as he jumps in slow motion and the sesame street theme song
22:43playing during the moment are hilarious but the explosive deflating of the bounce house leads to
22:48pandemonium hal's overzealous and rather frightening attempts to rescue the trapped kids complete the
22:54moment to help make it the funniest in malcolm in the middle which moment do you think is unfair we
23:13left
23:13off our list let us know in the comments
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