- 10 hours ago
First broadcast 16th December 1975.
"My error has been my scepticism. I've not actually believed in politics as a way of life" An admission that recently led Christopher Collinson into a battle in his constituency.
Tony Britton - Christopher Collinson
Ann Firbank - Alice Collinson
David Wilkinson - David Collinson
John Leyton - Brian Griffin
Ian McCulloch - Peter Richards
Ian East - Maurice Wrigley
Kate Fahy - Millie Dutton (as Katherine Fahy)
Wilfred Pickles - Bernard King
John Tebay - John
"My error has been my scepticism. I've not actually believed in politics as a way of life" An admission that recently led Christopher Collinson into a battle in his constituency.
Tony Britton - Christopher Collinson
Ann Firbank - Alice Collinson
David Wilkinson - David Collinson
John Leyton - Brian Griffin
Ian McCulloch - Peter Richards
Ian East - Maurice Wrigley
Kate Fahy - Millie Dutton (as Katherine Fahy)
Wilfred Pickles - Bernard King
John Tebay - John
Category
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TVTranscript
00:00.
00:01.
00:01.
01:24Hello.
01:27Good evening.
01:28Good evening.
01:29Welcome.
01:34Aha.
01:36Ah.
01:45Reminds me of prep school.
01:49Cabbage.
01:50Not me, mister.
01:52Blame the upstairs front.
01:55I've ordered the joss sticks.
01:59Said I'd surprise you.
02:03There's squirrels in the garden.
02:20How's the wife?
02:31You don't look any more married.
02:34And that's something I've noticed about the intellectual middle-class male.
02:38He doesn't get the domestic look.
02:41I suppose it's the inviolate privacy of the inner life.
02:46Proof against the womanly chatter and the fish fingers and all that.
02:57But you do look like a man with problems.
03:03Beset on all sides, Minnie.
03:06It shows, does it?
03:10Put it down to the autumn.
03:12The change of season is an agitating time for the sensitive.
03:17Including the professionally sensitive.
03:21The clouds gather, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
03:28You don't want to report on the Alice situation.
03:39I'm due in the constituency in about an hour.
03:42I thought she'd won the war there.
03:50All right, then, John. Thanks a lot.
03:52Good of you to come round.
03:55All the best.
03:56Cheerio.
03:58You're welcome, Morris.
04:03You've been a great help.
04:05Sorry about that, Chris.
04:06We got stuck into a few figures.
04:09I'm very sorry to keep you hanging about.
04:13Let's talk in here, shall we?
04:15There's a terrible tip in there. Paper all over the place.
04:19Ron seemed to diversify his office work.
04:23Scatter it, you might say.
04:27I'm centralizing it.
04:31What do you want to talk to me about?
04:35Well, first I thought I ought to say congratulations, or so we meet again, or at any rate something to
04:47acknowledge your appointment and our new relationship.
04:54Thank you, Chris.
04:59I'm looking forward to it.
05:07How are you and I going to get on, Morris?
05:11Uneasily, I suppose.
05:14But I do think we could be very effective.
05:17Why are you so confident?
05:19Do you no longer find me an enemy of the people?
05:24Whenever you and I sit down to discuss politics with a capital P, philosophy, the way the world should be
05:30ordered, I'm sure we'll always be fastly at variance.
05:35But we ought to be able to accommodate that.
05:38If we keep ourselves busy with the practical matters, we might not have too much time to grapple over the
05:44theory.
05:46Aren't we talking about principles?
05:47Well, I'm sure they'll be the undertow of all our dealings.
05:52But let's tackle objectives.
05:56Between us, we dealt with the business of those grotty flats rather well, didn't we?
06:01Never mind the mystery of our deeper motivations.
06:11Now, some very tough times are on the way.
06:15We both know this constituency is going to suffer.
06:19Aren't you and I going to have quite enough battles to fight?
06:23Lost jobs.
06:25Cutbacks in the social services and the housing programme and the schools programme.
06:31We both know as well that the individual hardship cases are going to be queuing up in here to look
06:36to you for help.
06:38In large numbers.
06:42How we get on, Chris, depends on how we shape up to all that, doesn't it?
06:50You mean how I do.
06:52Whether I satisfy requirements, deliver the goods.
06:55Either in kind, which depends on the receptiveness of Whitehall.
07:00Or in suitable vituperation delivered at government policies.
07:07Exactly.
07:09And, presumably, the way I vote in the House.
07:16Now, you must understand, Morris,
07:21that I will never talk or vote to order.
07:30The trick will be to avoid the necessity.
07:33That's where I can help.
07:38How, exactly?
07:40I think the first case in point is just coming up.
07:43The party conference next week.
07:46You will, I assume, be speaking as the recognised voice of your parliamentary group.
07:51We can expect to hear you on the subject of the government's economic and industrial relations policies.
07:58Hmm.
08:00As I was saying to Bernard yesterday,
08:03I hope that afterwards I won't be faced with complaints from my friends on the left.
08:09I'd like to be able to reassure them on that in advance.
08:13You misjudge me and amaze me
08:16if you think I will ever play dummy to your ventriloquist.
08:24What an amusing picture.
08:39He'll be with his girlfriend now somewhere, won't he?
08:43I expect so.
08:45What do you think about that?
08:48It happens.
08:51I don't understand him.
08:53You ought to.
08:55I've told him often enough that two of you are much alike.
08:59I don't see it.
09:01Nor does he.
09:05It was always Andrew he cared about.
09:08He'd have been a big man with the women.
09:10You have Chris's attack.
09:12Embattled.
09:14Willful.
09:16Resilient.
09:19I'm a bit scared of him.
09:22I always have been.
09:25I thought I'd got rid of it.
09:29I suppose he knows.
09:30You don't have to feel ashamed of it.
09:33I do though.
09:33He has his own fears.
09:35Of being a loser.
09:36Yes partly but
09:39mostly of being wrong.
09:40Of having thought it all out wrongly.
09:43Have you noticed he hardly ever talks about the past.
09:46Or writes about it.
09:51I'm one of the points of friction between you two.
09:55Aren't I?
09:58Stay away if you like.
10:00David.
10:03Will you give this girl up?
10:04David I don't want you to isolate yourself.
10:07I've got friends.
10:09I want you and Chris to accept each other.
10:14I don't much care about him.
10:16I'm sorry.
10:39The party conference is a deeply unpleasant affair.
10:52It is drunken and devious.
10:57Maudlin.
11:00Mindless.
11:02Brutal.
11:05Critical.
11:06Treacherous.
11:09Splenetic.
11:11And so very, very unimportant.
11:18Bring on the clones!
11:23They'll all be there.
11:26Every self-approving bigot.
11:29The party can muster.
11:32To give voice to the optimum animus.
11:38It is our annual festival of blab.
11:43Shameless in its infinite contradictions.
11:50What a comment on the frailty of our intelligence.
11:57And our moral courage.
12:01That we should perpetuate something so...
12:06Squalid.
12:09So worthless.
12:13And not merely permitted.
12:14But let it be commonly regarded as significant.
12:24A serious contribution to the continuing political critique.
12:29Critique.
12:39We are extraordinary people.
12:45Stay away.
12:50Not allowed.
12:52Our...
12:53Charges would be levalled.
12:57Indifference to the hopes and aspirations of the rank and fire.
13:02Disregard of the...
13:04...great beating heart of a party.
13:10Cowardice even.
13:14no
13:17I must go and be baited
13:20the grandlings must have their hour
13:29some of us have got to try to put some sense across
13:34you're actually quite frightened of it aren't you
13:41it's the concentration of so many implacable self-interests
13:51in this room now
13:54I know that is not the party not the country
13:57there is a more reflective
14:01enigmatic but more sane community beyond it
14:05but in that present
14:07there is a sickening air of manic
14:11unappeasable
14:13grievance
14:16it is frightening
14:18to feel if only fleetingly
14:21that perhaps
14:24society may not
14:27be open to reason
14:35however
14:38the little monster will be confronted
14:45are you going to finish the bottle?
14:49oh sorry have a drop
14:55you drink more now than when I first met you
15:05on our first night as I'm sure you'll recall
15:08I became lamentably overtired didn't I?
15:17I haven't seen you drunk since
15:20hmm
15:21are you telling me wrong?
15:24do you find me disagreeable?
15:26will I say sorry?
15:29attention's munt
15:32I feel I've become one for you
15:35am I right?
15:38have I stopped delighting?
15:42actually I always felt a hint of the patronising in that word
15:48I certainly never intended
15:51perhaps the repetition
15:54do you think we started with too much of a bang?
15:57if that's not too indelicate
16:01what's the song?
16:02a trip to the moon
16:04on gossamer wings
16:05just one of those things
16:07just one of those things
16:09what do you think?
16:12I'll tell you what I think
16:14that night you first started talking politics to me
16:17that was a significant moment
16:18the first warning bell
16:22I mistook it for something else
16:24ah I thought
16:25I have won new confidence from him
16:28he sees me as more of a person
16:31a deeper love and understanding will follow
16:35wrong
16:36I was being talked at
16:44we've used the word love quite a lot
16:47what did you mean when you used it?
16:53we've always been
16:57spontaneous
16:57haven't we?
16:59it seemed right at the time
17:00is that it?
17:02I never felt any need
17:04to pretend anything with you
17:08well I suppose it is a variable
17:12open to endless reassessment
17:15redefinition
17:18I told you at the beginning
17:20I had a romantic inclination
17:22perhaps I confuse people
17:24not consistent with my easy lay way
17:27ah Mary
17:38do you want me tonight?
17:47do you?
17:51I want you
18:07I want you
18:17I want you
18:35I
18:36hope
18:48the approaches have been far from oblique you could say unusually direct they seem to have
18:54escaped me well have you been readily available I wasn't climbing Everest no the activity was
19:00suddenly hectic I suppose they had to go for the nearest points of contact hmm well
19:06they're susceptible amenable the government wants our unqualified support we have been importuned to
19:16pimp around conference on its behalf is that is that the message you're bringing what do you think
19:21of the measures they've announced on unemployment they're insignificant they evade the central
19:28issues they're cynically designed to gain sentimental approval for a show of concern over the dole cue
19:34kids which can be nothing more than a poultice on the cabinet's aching breast it's a conference
19:39vote-catching so blatant that a cherry frontery will preserve its place in the memory and you propose
19:44to say that at Blackpool I doubt if I'll need to say it every self-respecting left winger will want
19:51to ram it down the Chancellor's throat several are going to be trampled to death in the rush for the
19:55opportunity not an ignoble way to go but you wouldn't canvas for the government in that area
20:03impossible well that's what we're being asked specifically what blandishments come with the
20:08request to supply a vomit bag also specifically there's certain to be a left-wing clamor for
20:14import restrictions the desired attitude on that is deflection with sympathy is it really
20:24you know Peter my contempt for the conference is both known and shared among a large number of the
20:30parliamentary brothers but it has been traditional practice for us to at least try to avoid the same
20:36feeling for our own performances at it but you've been out of practice in recent years haven't you
20:44yes Peter it's felt that you do need the special advantages the platform the attention from the
20:52media that would go with being the group's principal voice of the conference the feeling is that you
20:58can't really do without it if you want to sustain your claim for a job in the government
21:06go on and the group would rather not as it were change horses in midstream well it's position
21:15credibility wouldn't be much helped if the papers or the left found us suddenly with a new leader
21:23so it's felt that you should do the talking as was always intended and particularly at our press briefing
21:32am I being instructed did you know how much you have in common Peter with the engineering draftsman
21:39of tiny local political experience who is my new agent the group has agreed on what should be said in
21:46its name if I won't say it they'll put someone else in my place yes who me did you volunteer
21:54or insist
21:58these group discussions this sudden flurry of activity for which I've been strangely unobtainable
22:04how many members of our cabal have been involved I think you'd say enough as many as matter
22:12I don't have to list them do I I've done the tour several times and you've made it necessary my
22:18list
22:20apart from my inducing peak among these stalwarts by doing exactly what I was asked to do in the
22:26first place that is tell them what to do what's brought on this instant disenchantment why am I
22:34being dropped you need not be don't play when you came in here you knew you were delivering an ultimatum
22:41you want me to be a party acrobat the group has decided that I shall be a government apologist
22:47if I agree to that then I've been dropped just as much as if I'd been simply disowned
22:51what weight would I carry in that role it's been our special strength that we have not been the
22:57predictable cheerleaders you now want to be I must preserve that uncompromised position I adopted from
23:04the beginning would you like to think about your leadership of the group lately you may be able
23:13to deny that you've actually lied about your attitude but how often have you blurred your
23:17true position ingratiated with a government because you thought you were on the verge of office
23:23you misread things miscalculated when the group relied on your judgment arguable you were determined to
23:28play cat and mouse with a one minister you thought wrongly we now all know you could knock over and
23:35replace personal ambition crippled your judgment I can still be proved right I still think this
23:45government has totemized the Union then why haven't you said so publicly because most of the group would
23:50have fled immediately like the mice they are and you'd have been left exactly where we found you
23:55exercising your talent to amuse and discomfort slightly to the right of center in the strangers bar
24:00daily no power base no future you still say you're not compromised
24:14not yet Peter I believe I can defend my recent behavior within the ethical framework of the business
24:24we're in I have been equivocal admittedly can you show me a politician who never is what were you buying
24:33when you and your friends came to me innocent you wanted my skills you got them now what's your real
24:40complaint that I haven't proved clever enough have I embarrassed you by my mistakes
24:50you want to take my place do you the function of political valet has grown irksome is that the case
24:58do
24:59you realize you're in danger of becoming something even less a government bomb boy I believe the present
25:07policies they're pursuing are the only practical ones broadly speaking so do I but that is not the
25:15issue that you and I are disputing individual integrity that's the issue in politics it is
25:22desperately difficult to safeguard we have to tread always by the nature of things the thinnest of
25:30lines between the expediency we can tolerate and the outright dishonesty we cannot sometimes the
25:38critical test we are confronted with is not over some huge national controversy but over the small print
25:44of what you recall it our contract with society we must insist on our right to self-respect we shift
25:54our
25:54ground yes frequently but it's the final capitulation to do so on demand we must reserve our right to
26:02choose that's what you're being asked to do you have options
26:24how long has he been drinking since Peter Richards left I suppose from what you say he seems to have
26:30a pretty
26:31solid excuse everyone has his own remedy for a kick in the guts I sensed at the moment I came
26:40in
26:40something very very familiar in the atmosphere Chrissy's vibrations twang the furniture and sure
26:48enough the whiskey bottle and the cigars and the tour de force in the exposition of ill treatment
26:53one of those self-addressed speeches of justification I remember oh Christ how I hate them the ones that
27:01always came after his very worst days spent wallowing in the booze and bitterness of the house
27:07nothing's changed Brian well you can't really say that until he comes out of it I can't live with it
27:12again I simply can't well he knows that doesn't he should I expect that to make any difference
27:59now he was always a reliable provider of light relief the more effective for
28:05being unintended and I I remember one speech you made that just about brought the plaster off the ceiling
28:12it was during one of the dreaded defense debates all those murderous pacifists wringing their hands
28:18on our necks and this dear old elephant came puffing up to the rostrum and delivered what one could
28:27really only call his number it was a sort of Colonel blimp job but in the manner of W.C.
28:34Fields and he eventually reached their showstopper
28:43on the one hand we have the eagle of America and on the other hand we have the bear of
28:53Russia we must separate these two gorillas
29:05one of life's golden moments
29:09you did your stint as a conference reporter Brian what stays in your mind from all that crass verbiage
29:19hats
29:20I think hats mostly
29:23Tory ladies bold millinery quivering in an ecstasy of bloodlust during the hanging and flogging debate
29:30and what else
29:32apart from the punitive squalor of the press accommodation which was common to them all
29:37warm brown ale
29:40waking up with my nose on my notebook
29:43Sir Alec Douglas Hume doing his daily impersonation of Wilfred Hyde-White
29:50the curious fantasy that Lord Hailsham and George Brown were actually in a strange musical double act called bubble and
29:56squeak
29:57and the striking similarity between the liberal assembly and the last night at the prom
30:07yes well
30:09your view of the politician was never reverent as I remember
30:12well I know
30:13I don't complain
30:14collectively we do strain respect
30:16if not credence
30:18hmm
30:23I gather you're giving Brian a crash course in the outer reaches of the pop music scene David how's he
30:28doing
30:30he asks a lot of questions
30:34even seems interested in the answers
30:38the perpetual interviewer your own label is that a good title the headline I'm still learning the difference
30:45are you leaving us?
30:47I've got some reading
30:53I've got some reading
30:54when's he going back to Birmingham?
30:55term begins next week
30:57but
30:57he's going back tomorrow
30:59would he have told me?
31:03no
31:04no
31:08no
31:09no
31:10no
31:11no
31:11no
31:12no
31:12no
31:13no
31:14no
31:14no
31:17no
31:18no
31:24work?
31:32I took the point you made
31:34there is not a great deal of question and answer between you and me is there?
31:38no
31:43but do you feel there are things we should say?
31:51I do.
31:56I think for one thing we should talk about your mother and me.
32:03Would I be right in thinking that you find my behaviour lately offensive?
32:09You blame me for hurting her.
32:16I know you have a deep attachment to her.
32:19So have I.
32:21However things may seem to you.
32:27Do you feel I have no right to want her anymore?
32:34I believe that she and I can be fully together again if we both try hard enough.
32:41I know it's what I want most in my life.
32:46And you'll simply have to accept that David.
32:56Don't you believe me?
32:59Why should I?
33:04You may feel justified in judging me as coldly as you clearly do.
33:08Perhaps I've invited it.
33:11I can't pretend I've ever asked for your confidence.
33:14Or indeed your regard.
33:17As I know I did your brother's.
33:23But you and I both have a detachment in our natures.
33:32And I suppose we see that in each other.
33:37One day we may be able to make happier contact.
33:42I hope so.
33:46I remember your adult compassionate attention at the time of Andrew's death.
33:50It was impressive.
33:53I shall always be grateful.
33:56Thanks.
34:14Is there anything you want to ask me?
34:22What are you going to do about that slag?
34:32It's over, David.
34:35Why did you have to call her that?
34:39I don't know her name.
34:56A handkerchief poking out of the left sleeve.
34:58That was the thing at the time.
35:01No 15-year-old Beau Brummel could be seen in public without one.
35:05A coloured handkerchief.
35:07Maroon, I think, was the favourite.
35:08You tucked one corner under the gilt bracelet of your wristwatch
35:12and made studied gestures at tactical intervals
35:14to make sure the right girls were taking notice.
35:17And the other fellas, of course, of the rility symbols had to impress one's peers.
35:22And the hanky was one of them.
35:24What a rich and subtle folklore you working-class townies had.
35:28In my adolescent world, the public schoolboy's notion of rility
35:31was to arrive for a date with a black eye.
35:35I think we were aspiring to the superiority of languor.
35:40It seemed very desirable, that appearance of groomed idleness.
35:45Anti-work, you see.
35:46Anti-business.
35:48The young braves of the urban tribe lounging about in their finery.
35:54But if he wanted a fight,
35:57then he went to the Saturday night dance of the tech, right?
36:00Mm-hmm.
36:03You take a lot of nourishment from the past, don't you, Brian?
36:07It's a constant factor in your work.
36:09Your life.
36:12Well, I have been told I exploit nostalgia.
36:17If that's what I do, I don't feel guilty about it.
36:21Hmm.
36:21Perhaps you're lucky.
36:23Oh.
36:24Well, you enjoy raking the memory.
36:28Well, I think that's largely what writing is.
36:31Yeah, but you enjoy it.
36:32Well, the raking.
36:33I'm not so sure about the writing.
36:35How is the back?
36:38Adopting a warning posture at the moment.
36:40Well, Chris, you produce a few figures from the past.
36:48Anecdotes.
36:50And faces from the Snapshot album.
36:53Flick into focus from time to time.
36:58I don't care to hunt down what's gone.
37:06Even what's very recently gone.
37:11Why don't we learn from the past?
37:13Ha!
37:14Politicians don't learn, Brian.
37:16We're expected to know.
37:18We can't be seen re-examining yesterday's certainties.
37:22Above all, not yesterday's actions.
37:24We move unswervingly from one inarguable commitment to the next
37:29and devil take the hindsight.
37:40Well, do you, uh, do you fancy a cigar?
37:52My...
37:56ringmaster.
38:00He's a very jealous god.
38:04The party.
38:06Hmm.
38:09Politics.
38:11The game.
38:14The politician is permitted to defy his party.
38:17Many do.
38:19And still flourish.
38:22My...
38:22error,
38:24it seems,
38:25has been my scepticism.
38:28I could never actually believe in politics as a way of life.
38:34I could see it as a vehicle for ideas.
38:39It was a battleground.
38:43It was an entertainment.
38:45As an instrument.
38:47It was made use of.
38:49I could see it as a means to power.
38:52And relished it.
38:57But I could never quite accept
39:01that politics
39:03had to be respected,
39:06deferred to,
39:07simply for itself.
39:10I refuse to accept that.
39:13I can never be a politics creature.
39:20but it seems
39:24that that is the price
39:25demanded for success.
39:42What a long time it's taken me
39:45to understand that.
39:56if I'd chosen some other work,
40:00would things have been different between us?
40:02There was a time
40:03when we didn't want them to be.
40:06I mustn't blame the job.
40:07I mustn't either.
40:09It's too easy.
40:11But you have hated its effect on us.
40:13We have to look at ourselves.
40:20I admit
40:23my frustration.
40:26I admit I've wasted
40:28a long time in
40:29self-pity.
40:34Apologising for that
40:35may be pointless.
40:37I am ashamed of it.
40:40But it's in the past.
40:46that outburst
40:46earlier today
40:47won't be repeated.
40:52That's a promise
40:52to myself
40:53as well as to you.
41:00Well, you must help, Alice.
41:02It can't all come from me.
41:03I am living here.
41:04You're living in the house.
41:05Do you want to live with me?
41:10You've no competition any longer.
41:16Don't dismiss it like that.
41:18I got the same kind of rejection from David.
41:20You must believe me.
41:21I do.
41:22Was it a painful parting?
41:25Screams?
41:25Tears?
41:27Or was it a handshake
41:28and a cordial
41:28thank you for your hospitality?
41:30Well, what do you want me to say?
41:31That I'm grateful to you
41:32for your sacrifice on my behalf?
41:34That is the impression you're giving.
41:37The competition, Christ.
41:39You grab for a teddy bear
41:41like today.
41:42You grab for the bottle.
41:43The quickest fix,
41:44that's what you go for.
41:45Untrue.
41:45Unfair.
41:46As far as Millie was concerned, anyway.
41:49Millie?
41:51Was intended to be permanent, was she?
41:54Your constant nymph.
41:56The available alternative
41:58if the missus fail to come through.
42:00But what went wrong?
42:01Did she kick you out?
42:02Weren't you satisfactory?
42:03Oh, stop it, Alice.
42:04Is that why I don't have to worry
42:05about competition?
42:15I chose the wrong word.
42:18I didn't expect you
42:20to take it literally.
42:24It was meant almost as a joke.
42:32I've tried to tell you before.
42:35There never has been
42:36anyone in all my life
42:38who has mattered to me
42:40the way you do.
42:44If you want me to spell it out,
42:48I have ended the affair with Millie.
42:53But you didn't want to.
42:56Alice,
42:57it can't help either of us
42:59if you drag regrets
43:02and explanations
43:03and confessions out of me.
43:05You're cheapening yourself
43:06by doing that.
43:07You can only drive me
43:08into hitting back.
43:09Have I got to trade fault
43:11and blame with you?
43:12Throw words like
43:13peevish
43:14and vindictive
43:15at you.
43:16That can't do any good.
43:17Surely we've learned
43:18that, haven't we?
43:26It's the future
43:27that matters to us,
43:28isn't it?
43:28Right off the pass.
43:30Run away from it.
43:31Well, we can't alter it.
43:34I don't think
43:35I can ever be accused
43:36of trying to falsify it.
43:37When have I ever
43:38tried to build anything
43:39on lies?
43:49Don't resist me.
43:52We need each other.
43:54We've proved that.
43:57All that's holding us apart
43:59now is your...
44:01your mistrust.
44:05Fear.
44:10Of what?
44:17This...
44:17this future
44:20that you want me
44:21to look towards.
44:23What have you got in mind?
44:25Why should it appeal to me?
44:28Well, I can't offer you
44:29a pretty little package
44:30with a present from Chris on it.
44:32what are you going to do?
44:38Well...
44:41there are several things
44:42I have to think about.
44:43Had you thought
44:44that you might discuss
44:45them with me?
44:47With politics?
44:48What you're going to do,
44:50be!
45:04I'm not going to play safe anymore.
45:08I've been doing that lately.
45:10In my own political terms.
45:14as a result
45:15the identikit picture of me
45:19the current impression
45:20of my political nature
45:23has got rather badly distorted.
45:25The word for me at the moment
45:26apparently is flexible.
45:29That
45:30will have to be changed.
45:36It's a piece of irony.
45:37It's quite a collector's item.
45:40An event I despise.
45:43Our ridiculous conference.
45:47Becomes the occasion
45:48for repudiation
45:50by my group.
45:55which means that I can stop
45:58looking for recognition.
46:03For good?
46:10Probably.
46:15I have failed!
46:18Is that what you
46:19already hear me say?
46:21I have failed!
46:26What does it mean?
46:29It means that
46:3020 years of work
46:31have been futile,
46:33pointless.
46:34I don't think
46:36that's quite true.
46:43some writing.
46:47Some help
46:48given here and there
46:49to troubled constituents
46:50or duller minds.
46:51Were you thinking of that?
46:53Those
46:54small contributions
46:55are not enough.
46:56They're not even relevant.
47:01I didn't imagine
47:0220 years ago
47:03that I would never
47:04be able to have
47:04a direct influence
47:05on the shaping of the country.
47:07It never occurred to me
47:08that I would never
47:09have any power.
47:15That's what I mean
47:16by failure.
47:18I've been sustained,
47:19driven
47:20by a desire for power.
47:22I've expected
47:23that one day
47:24I would be
47:24at the heart of government.
47:26That I would be required
47:28to
47:29decide,
47:30to order,
47:30to impose my will.
47:33Everything I've done
47:34in politics
47:34has been trivial
47:35in my own eyes
47:36because it has not
47:37brought me power.
47:43and it's unlikely.
47:45Very unlikely.
47:48It never will.
47:55That's failure.
47:58But you invited it
48:00in so many ways.
48:07I know.
48:10You'll stay in politics.
48:18Yes.
48:20Why?
48:21What to do?
48:29I think I have to meet
48:31a responsibility
48:32to myself.
48:36My illusions
48:38have at last died.
48:44could that liberate me?
48:48Can I now aim
48:50at something more modest?
48:52More real?
48:53Well...
48:57I shan't attempt
48:58to change my nature.
49:00I don't propose
49:01to leap into
49:01a dazzling new career
49:02as a campaign addict
49:04pursuing fulfillment
49:05through the month's
49:06good course.
49:11I shall try to make
49:12a bit more
49:13of what I actually am.
49:15A critic of politics
49:17more than a practitioner.
49:22I can still examine
49:25and question
49:26and challenge.
49:30I may be able
49:31to unravel
49:32a few deceptions.
49:35Locate some
49:35of the mischief.
49:40Will it be enough
49:41for you?
49:45I think it has
49:46to be.
49:49It's worth doing.
49:53And it's what's left.
49:55Isn't it?
50:09I think...
50:12that's what I wanted
50:13to hear you say.
50:59I think...
51:11That's what I wanted
51:11to hear you say.
51:12It's worth doing.
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