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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 4 Episode 14 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01Good evening. I'm your guest lecturer, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
00:10I was expecting applause.
00:13But I suppose stunned silence is equally appropriate.
00:17I agreed to speak to you this evening
00:20because I was told that you're the best and the brightest
00:24of this university's doctoral candidates.
00:26Of course, that's like saying you're the most important electron
00:30in a hydrogen atom.
00:36Because, you see, there's only one electron in a hydrogen atom.
00:43Best and brightest, my sweet patootie.
00:46All right, let's begin. Show of hands.
00:48Who here is familiar with the concept of topological insulators?
00:53Don't kid yourselves.
00:57I found another tweet from a student at Sheldon's lecture.
01:00Dr. Cooper has taken a relatively boring subject
01:03and managed to make it completely insufferable.
01:07Plus, he looks like a giant insect.
01:10Listen to this one.
01:12Does Einstein's theory explain why time flies when you're having fun,
01:16but when you're listening to Dr. Cooper, it falls out of the sky then?
01:21Oh, somebody took pictures and uploaded them to their Flickr account.
01:24Oh.
01:26Wow.
01:27How do you get an entire lecture hall to flip you off at the same time?
01:31Apparently, if you're Sheldon, all you need to do is turn your back.
01:35Hey, Leonard, is your Wi-Fi down? I can't get on.
01:38Oh, Sheldon changed the password. It's now Penny is a freeloader.
01:43No spaces.
01:45Thanks. What are you guys doing?
01:47Sheldon gave a lecture at the university tonight.
01:49We're reading the reviews.
01:50Oh, how'd he do?
01:51Well, a picture of the Hindenburg meets Chernobyl meets Three Mile Island meets Tron 2.
01:57That bad, huh?
01:58Read this woman's tweet.
02:01Listening to Dr. Cooper has made me want to start cutting myself again.
02:08Well, good evening, Leonard, Howard, Raj, freeloader.
02:14So, how'd the lecture go?
02:16In a word, triumphant.
02:20Really? Triumphant?
02:22Oh, yes. You should have seen those young people.
02:24Thirsty for knowledge, drinking in my wisdom.
02:28I may have changed a few lives today.
02:32Oh, please let me tell him.
02:34I don't know. I kind of promised Howard.
02:37Tell me what?
02:38Actually, we should all share the moment, Raj, if you would.
02:44Oh, tweets about my lecture.
02:50Hmm.
02:53That's rather unfair.
02:55That's downright cruel.
02:57Plus, insects have six legs.
03:01Yeah, I'm not familiar with the acronym K-M-N.
03:04Oh, from the context, we think it means kill me now.
03:10Well, suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion.
03:14I think I'll turn in.
03:18I don't want to teach those poopy heads anyway.
03:24FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.
03:30A whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 million years ago expansion started way around.
03:38The earth began to cool. The autotrophs began to drool.
03:40The end recalls developed tools. We built a wall.
03:42We built the pyramids.
03:43It's math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.
03:46They're all starting with a big bang.
03:49Hey!
03:49Hey!
03:55Sheldon's still moping.
03:56Yeah, it's weird.
03:57Even though he didn't want to give the lecture in the first place, being rejected by those students really hit
04:01him hard.
04:02I know the feeling.
04:03It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you.
04:14It happened to a friend of mine.
04:19Are you guys doing okay?
04:20Leonard and I are fine, but I think Raj needs to meet a girl really soon.
04:25Well, that shouldn't be too hard. He's such a cutie.
04:28Thank you, but cute is for bunnies. I want to be something with sex appeal. Like, like a labradoodle.
04:37Labradoodle?
04:39They might be starting to zero in on your problem.
04:42Don't you listen to them. You've got plenty of sex appeal.
04:45You really think so?
04:46Yeah, you're a hottie.
04:48Thanks, Bernadette.
04:52And just for the record, labradoodles are hypoallergenic, which is a very sexy quality to those troubled by animal dander.
05:02So what do you think?
05:06It's a charming illusion, but it does not cheer me up.
05:09Not even when I do this?
05:18No.
05:20Well, that was the last arrow in my quiver of whimsy.
05:24Do you realize that teaching is the first thing I've failed at since my ill-fated attempt to complete a
05:29chin-up in March of 1989?
05:32If this humiliating experience is really troubling you, there are things we could do about it.
05:37For instance?
05:38Well, the first thing that comes to mind is isolating the part of your brain where the memory is stored
05:42and destroying it with a laser.
05:45Hmm.
05:47No.
05:48One slip of the hand and suddenly I'm sitting in the engineering department building doodads with Wolowitz.
05:54All right.
05:55Have you considered improving your socialization skills, thus allowing you to communicate more effectively with other people?
06:01Isn't that their burden? I'm the one with something interesting to say.
06:06Fair enough. But in its essence, teaching is a performance art.
06:09In the classroom paradigm, the teacher has the responsibility to communicate as well as entertain and engage.
06:16I sense that you're trying to slow walk me to an epiphany. Would you mind very much jumping to it?
06:22Perhaps you should consider taking acting lessons.
06:25Acting lessons? Interesting.
06:28It might help if I could act as though I care about my students and whether or not they learn.
06:36Penny! Penny! Penny!
06:42What?
06:43You're an actress, correct?
06:46I'm not an actress. I'm an actress.
06:51All right. You're an actress.
06:55I need you to teach me.
06:57You want an acting lesson?
06:58Perhaps two. I'd like to master the craft.
07:03Okay, where is this coming from?
07:05It has been suggested to me that acting techniques could improve my lecturing,
07:10at which, if certain tweets and blogs are to be believed, I suck the big one.
07:16Yeah, I saw those. They were funny. I printed a few out and put them on my fridge.
07:21So when can we start?
07:22Okay, just to be clear, you are asking me for help because I know something that the brilliant Dr. Sheldon
07:28Cooper doesn't.
07:30I suppose that's one way to look at it.
07:33I think it's the only way to look at it.
07:36Are you going to help me or not?
07:38Probably. I'm just enjoying the foreplay.
07:41Does this mean you are done mocking my acting career?
07:44Oh, I'm sorry. I thought making the transition from actor to acting teacher was the signal that one's career had
07:50reached the end of the road.
07:54Forget it!
07:55I'll pay you $40.
07:57Saturday, 9am, bring cash.
08:02Raj, I have amazing news.
08:03What?
08:04I just got offered a fellowship at the Weitzman Institute in Israel.
08:08Dude, that's incredible!
08:09I know! The only thing is I'm going to be gone for two years.
08:12Oh, I'm going to miss you.
08:14Are you going with him?
08:15I have to stay here for school.
08:17That's what we're here to talk to you about.
08:19You see, Bernadette has needs.
08:25What kind of needs?
08:27Sexual needs.
08:30Most of them regular, some of them kind of messed up.
08:36So, while I'm gone, you're going to have to satisfy her.
08:42What do you say?
08:44I say okie dokie.
08:53What you thinking so hard about?
08:55Just that I'm definitely not gay.
09:05Penny!
09:07Penny!
09:08Penny!
09:10What's wrong?
09:11Nothing. I was acting.
09:15You were acting.
09:16Yes. In preparation for today's studies, I read Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares, Stella Adler's The Technique of Acting, Uta Hagen's
09:24Respect for Acting, and Henry Winkler's Ay, I'm an Actor.
09:29Well, good for you. Come on in.
09:32How should we begin?
09:33Well, I thought we'd start with some basic movement exercises. You know, get our bodies warmed up a little.
09:39All right.
09:40So, I just want you to relax and kind of move around in the space. You know, just do whatever
09:45feels natural.
09:54Sheldon?
09:54You said to do whatever feels natural. This feels natural. Certainly more natural than what you're doing.
10:03Come on, you gotta work with me. We need to get connected with our bodies.
10:07Penny, my body and I have a relationship that works best when we maintain a cool, wary distance from each
10:13other.
10:16All right. Let's just say we've warmed up.
10:19You're the teacher.
10:22Okay. One of the things that might help you in connecting with your students is being a little more spontaneous.
10:28So, why don't we try some improvisation?
10:30Oh, why not? It seems like you're improvising your entire curriculum.
10:35This is all about listening and responding.
10:38Gotcha.
10:39I'm going to create a character and a situation and you just jump in when you feel it.
10:42All right.
10:43All right.
10:44Action.
10:48Okay. It's not a movie. It's improv. So, no one calls action.
10:51Hey, you taught me something.
10:54Who would have thought it?
10:58Okay.
11:00No, the shipment has not arrived and I really need those shoes. They are my biggest seller.
11:04Yes, ladies, sizes six through ten. Thank you. Oh, sorry. I have to go. I have a customer. Bye-bye.
11:10Hi. Can I help you?
11:11I'd like a frozen yogurt, please.
11:18Yogurt.
11:19Um, okay. Surey. Luckily, we sell both shoes and yogurt here.
11:26You do?
11:29Yes. Look up at the sign and remember improv is always about saying yes.
11:34All right.
11:36Yes.
11:39I see a sign. It says Camarillo State Mental Hospital.
11:46What?
11:48It's the only explanation I can come up with for why you think you sell shoes and yogurt.
11:54Okay, you know what? Let's just try a different improv.
11:57Oh, this time we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass.
12:02Oh, when we're going to use props?
12:04You bet.
12:08I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous.
12:11Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now look at me.
12:16Want some?
12:17You have any frozen yogurt?
12:24I'm still not adjusted to how the Sci-Fi Channel spells their name now.
12:29S-Y-F-Y. That's Siffy.
12:32Uh-huh.
12:37Hello?
12:41Oh, my God. Is he okay?
12:43What happened?
12:44Hang on, hang on.
12:45Uh-huh.
12:47Okay, thank you.
12:49Howard was on his scooter and got hit by a truck. He's in critical condition.
12:54Oh, no.
12:58Did you hear? Isn't it terrible?
13:01Have you seen him?
13:02They wouldn't let me in.
13:03Oh, my Howie!
13:06It'll be okay.
13:08It'll be okay.
13:10It'll be okay.
13:11It'll be okay.
13:16It's Howard.
13:19Howard, hello.
13:21Raj, is that you?
13:24Yeah, I'm right here, buddy. How are you?
13:26Shh, shh. Listen to me. I'm not gonna make it.
13:29No, no, no. Don't say that. You're going to be all right.
13:32Raj, I don't have time. Now pay attention.
13:35My last wish is that you look after Bernadette.
13:39Of course. Of course.
13:43Now when you say look after, you mean...
13:46Sexually.
13:48Excuse me Bernadette. I have to hear it from him.
13:52Sexually.
13:54Got it. Take care.
13:58I guess I have no choice but to make sweet, guilt-free love to you over and over again for
14:01the rest of my life.
14:03That's how I heard it.
14:11Or it could be sci-fi.
14:13What?
14:14S-Y-F-Y. Sci-fi.
14:17All right.
14:19Good one.
14:23So, did you get a chance to go over the scene I gave you?
14:25Yes. I didn't care for it.
14:29Okay. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is an American classic.
14:33So is the McRib sandwich. I don't care for that either.
14:39Fine. What would you rather do as a scene study?
14:42I'm glad you asked.
14:44I took the liberty of adapting a Star Trek fan fiction novella I wrote when I was 10 into a
14:50one-act play.
14:52And you think it's better than Tennessee Williams?
14:55Why don't we leave that for future generations to decide?
15:00Where no Sheldon has gone before.
15:03It's the story of a young boy who is transported from the ignorant backwoods of East Texas to the 23rd
15:10century,
15:11where his genius is not only appreciated, but celebrated.
15:16K-M-N...
15:19Now, in this pivotal scene, Sheldon's mother, played by you,
15:23argues with an emissary of the United Federation of Planets, Mr. Spock, the role I will bring to life.
15:31Okay, that's fine, but let's try and get you out of your comfort zone.
15:35Why would we want to do that? It's called the comfort zone for a reason.
15:40Okay, the whole point of this is to loosen you up a little.
15:43So I'm thinking you'll play the role of your mother, and I will bring life to Mr. Spock.
15:54I'm sorry, you'll be Spock?
15:57It's only logical.
16:02Very well.
16:04I'll set the scene.
16:05All right.
16:07East Texas, a warm summer night.
16:10A woman, Mary, stands on a porch.
16:13In the distance, we hear a lonesome train whistle.
16:19Droning buzz of cicadas.
16:22A coyote howls at the moon.
16:25Frightening, sensitive young boys everywhere.
16:29Out in the woods, an owl screeches.
16:32Okay, okay, we get it. You set the scene.
16:34Hoo.
16:37All right, just read your mother's line.
16:42Shelly?
16:43Shelly?
16:44How many times have I told you not to leave your science-y stuff out on the porch?
16:50Goodness.
16:51I'll never understand that, boy.
16:54But then again, I'm a religious nut, and my mind is closed to so many things.
17:05Spock to Enterprise. Transport successful.
17:08Glory be to heaven!
17:10Some sort of creature just manifested out of thin air.
17:14George, put down that Pepsi can full of bourbon that ain't fooling no one and get your shotgun.
17:20Greetings, Mary Cooper. I am Spock.
17:27I'm sorry. I just don't buy it.
17:30Just keep going.
17:33Oh, my! Your sudden appearance startles me.
17:37We have been monitoring your son, Sheldon, from the 23rd century, and we have determined that he is now ready
17:42to join us.
17:43His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy.
17:48I understand.
17:51Oh, Shelly, a man's here to take you away to the future.
17:54And be sure to pack clean underwear.
17:58Okay, okay, let's try that last line again, and this time maybe try choking up a little.
18:02Why?
18:03Well, you're losing your son.
18:05Yes, but he's going to a better place where he won't get beat up so much.
18:11All right, come on, just try it my way. Pretend you're sad to see him go. I'm gonna lead you
18:14in.
18:16His unique genius is our best hope for bringing peace to a vast and troubled galaxy.
18:23That's your cue.
18:24I'm sorry, I just love that line.
18:28Even the way you do it.
18:31All right, come on, come on, put some real emotion to it. Blah, blah, blah, blah, vast and troubled galaxy,
18:35go.
18:37Oh, Shelly, a man's here to take you away to the future.
18:45Be sure to pack clean underwear.
18:48That's good, that's good, that's good.
18:52Mommy, why are you crying?
18:54Well, because I'm gonna miss you, Shelly Bean.
18:57Even though you creeped the bejesus out of me.
19:01Okay, I guess we're improvising now.
19:03Well, I'm sorry, it's not my fault.
19:05I'm just incredibly smart and everyone around here is dumber than a bag of rocks.
19:10Oh, now don't you start crying, you get in that spaceship.
19:14Mommy's late for Indian bingo.
19:18Mrs. Cooper, hey, it's Penny.
19:20Yeah, I think I broke your son.
19:23Hold on, talk to your mother.
19:26Mommy, I love you.
19:28Don't let Spock take me to the future.
19:37Hey Raj, I know you've been avoiding me and Howard and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going
19:41on inside that little head of yours.
19:52Like the wild elephant, I am trumpeting my love for you.
19:57Like a hidden flower, my sweet fragrance comes into view
20:10My heart burns for you like the sun at you
20:14My desert welcomes you like the rain monsoon
20:19You are my heart
20:21My universe
20:23You are my heart
20:25My universe
20:29Hey
20:30You are my heart
20:32My universe
20:34You are my heart
20:36My universe
20:39You are my heart
20:41My universe
20:43My universe
20:54Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.
21:16Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.
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