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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 4 Episode 7 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:01No, seriously, I think I finally figured out my problem with women.
00:04The Kappa Bar is the largest member of the rodent family.
00:08What does that have to do with me and women?
00:11Nothing. It was a desperate attempt to introduce an alternate topic of conversation.
00:15My problem is I don't project confidence.
00:18So I decided that the next time I meet a woman I think is attractive,
00:22rather than holding back and being cautious,
00:24I'm going to assume the mantle of self-assurance.
00:27Yeah, what does that look like?
00:32Hi. I'm Leonard.
00:36And you are beautiful.
00:38You pop sparkle and buzz electric.
00:42I'm going to pick you up at 8, show you a night you will never forget.
00:48Where are we going?
00:54Good news. I made it onto the team for the new Defense Department laser-equipped surveillance satellite.
01:01Excuse me. If we're changing topics, I believe I have first dibs with Capybara, a rodent the size of a
01:07baby hippo.
01:10Congratulations, Howard.
01:11Thanks.
01:12Listen, I have to get a security clearance so you guys might be hearing from the FBI.
01:17Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't want to speak to the FBI.
01:20Why not?
01:21I'm brown and I talk funny.
01:24They're just doing a background check on me.
01:26It doesn't matter. They'll find a reason to give me a one-way ticket back to Gandiville.
01:31By the way, when I say that, it's not offensive.
01:34Don't be ridiculous, Raj. You're here legally.
01:37Nobody cares. Do you know how long it's been since I got through airport security without being given a colonoscopy?
01:43You know, I try very hard to make our lunch hours educational and informative, but your insistence on talking about
01:49your own lives stymies me at every turn.
01:52Fine, Sheldon. Tell us about your giant rodents.
01:55No, you squandered your time with me and the moment has now passed.
01:59Feast on your disappointment, much as the Capybara feasts on its own waste.
02:06Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 billion years ago, expansion started way over.
02:13The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool.
02:16Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall.
02:19We built the pyramids, math, science, history, unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang.
02:25Hey!
02:33Oh, Bella, don't you see? Edward's only pushing you away because he loves you.
02:41Coming!
02:46Dr. Kutrapali?
02:50I'm Special Agent Page, FBI.
02:53May I come in?
02:56I'd like to talk to you about Howard Wolowitz.
02:59Oh, thank you.
03:01All right, well, how long have you known Mr. Wolowitz?
03:26Rum cake?
03:28No, thanks.
03:30Now, about Mr. Wolowitz.
03:32Seven years.
03:33I see.
03:37i'm in this country legally you know i'm sure you are now to your knowledge has mr wolowitz
03:44ever committed a crime of course not i'm here on an h1b visa which means i can't be associated in
03:50any way with crime or criminal activity and i'm not good to your knowledge does mr wolowitz have
03:56any foreign contacts no just me oh there it is here comes a cavity search excuse me please don't send
04:05me back to india it's so crowded it's like the whole country is one endless comic-con except
04:10everybody's wearing the same costume indian guy i love this country the the baseball the freedom
04:19the rampant morbid obesity from from california to the new york island i'm a real yankee doodle boy
04:25my country is of thee
04:32it's really great
04:36so when howard said the fbi would be contacting me i was expecting molder
04:41glad to see i got scully
04:46molder and scully x-files the truth is out there never mind uh so what would you like to know
04:56you work with mr wolowitz here at the university correct yes of course we're in different
05:00departments he's an engineer and i'm an experimental physicist you know one of those guys who examines
05:06the building blocks of creation and says hello maker of the universe
05:12i see what you did there good one right now how would you characterize your relationship with mr wolowitz
05:22good it's a good relationship of course most of my relationships are good
05:28probably because i exude confidence people are drawn to that you know
05:36confidence not exuding
05:40do you know of any groups mr wolowitz is a member of you are beautiful you know that
05:46you pop sparkle and buzz electric
05:52i'm gonna pick you up at eight show you a night you will never forget
05:58sounds great really
06:03yeah can my six foot two navy seal husband come with us
06:09oh my i didn't see the ring with my glasses off
06:13look at that i'm starting to exude
06:19want to get that not particularly
06:24could you get that i suppose i could if i were asked
06:29would you please get that of course
06:33why do you have to make things so complicated
06:38dr cooper yes i'm special agent page fbi
06:46you say you're special agent page fbi here's my id and here is my justice league membership card
06:58but that doesn't prove i know batman
07:02i just want to ask you a few questions about howard wolowitz
07:06oh all right i doubt anyone would risk the stiff penalties for impersonating a federal officer
07:13just to ask questions about a minor league engineer with an unresolved oedipal complex
07:19thank you for the record i truly support the fbi
07:23in the mission which is expressed through their motto fidelity bravery integrity correct now to
07:30business 18 years ago i sent the fbi crime lab samples from a bag of excrement that had been lit
07:38on fire on my front porch for fingerprinting and dna analysis why haven't i heard back yet
07:48well the fbi crime lab does have a lot on its plate well that's of little comfort to a nation
07:54attempting to scrape burning feces off its shoes would you mind if we talked about mr wolowitz now
08:01a little but go on thank you would you characterize him as responsible
08:09i'm going to answer that with a visual aid this is my nine disc complete lord of the rings trilogy
08:17blu-ray
08:17set mr wolowitz borrowed it damaged plastic retention hub number three
08:28and then returned it to me hoping i wouldn't notice would you characterize that as responsible
08:35that's really not the sort of thing we're interested in you heard me say blu-ray right
08:41i did very well would you be interested in knowing that mr wolowitz once snuck onto my world of
08:49warcraft account and changed the name of a certain level 80 warlock from shell door to smell door
08:56i'm afraid not is there anything else is there anything else where would you like to start he
09:02refuses to pay fines when he's overdue with books i lend him he crashed the mars rover while attempting
09:08to impress a woman he recommended that i go see the third matrix movie because it was and i quote
09:13just
09:13as good as the first one if that's not irresponsible i don't know what is the mars rover
09:27did i say mars rover you did that was actually a poorly chosen example as it had nothing to do
09:33with
09:34me yes well let's talk about it anyway i don't want to not that my disinclination to discuss the
09:42topic should be interpreted as evidence of howard wolowitz's culpability in the destruction of
09:46government property worth millions of dollars thank you dr cooper i think i have all i need oh good
09:54i was afraid you were going to fix it on that mars rover incident
10:04hey buddies guess who didn't get security clearance to work on the giant space laser
10:09what happened apparently the background interviews didn't go well you guys wouldn't know anything about
10:14that would you well actually i may have gotten a little tipsy when i talked to her
10:22i may have hit on her a little bit i may have thrown a broom cake on her shoes
10:29i see well it's good to know when i need you guys i can always count on you to step
10:34up and ruin
10:34everything
10:38i feel awful no me too to say the truth i thought if anyone was going to screw things up
10:43for howard
10:43it'd be sheldon well your expectations have been subverted uh-huh
10:57what are you doing up sleep eludes me leonard really maybe sleep has met you before
11:06mockery that's all you have to offer sorry why can't you sleep who knows i haven't watched any
11:12scary movies recently i'm no longer obsessing over why the predicted mass of the quantum vacuum has
11:18little effect on the expansion of the universe and it's been weeks since i took that accidental
11:23sip of red bull something happened today that's bothering you well i did mention the mars rover
11:30incident to that fbi agent and probably cost howard his security clearance what but why should that keep
11:36me up because you feel guilty interesting so you're saying my insomnia is caused by a guilty
11:45conscience actually you don't have insomnia you're sleeping now excuse me you're having a guilt-ridden
11:52dream do you have any evidence to support that hypothesis how about that gorn sitting on the couch
12:01that seems fairly conclusive no gorn no that's where i sit
12:12thank you for agreeing to see me agent page thank you for filing a complaint with my superior dr cooper
12:20i understand you want to recant your statement about howard wolowitz yes was your statement untrue no
12:29then i'm afraid you can't withdraw it i'm sorry i don't recall you saying no backsies
12:36is there anything else yes i'd like to offer a laudatory statement about howard's many excellent
12:42qualities i believe will tip the scales back in his favor howard joel wolowitz h is for honesty of which
12:50he has much o's for outstanding which he is such w's for witty he's quick with a joke a's for
12:57artistic
12:58his ability i'm sorry dr cooper this matter is already closed but i still have urge joel wolowitz left
13:04to go it's closed yeah i don't understand why you people are picking on my friend howard when there are
13:12much more serious security threats to pursue for instance when i first met leonard he was on the verge
13:17of giving away rocket secrets to a north korean spy and not one agent ever investigated that
13:23this is leonard hofstadter no it's a different leonard he's chinese red hair six fingers goodbye
13:36raj have you seen howard i think he's eating lunch uh sheldon i want you to meet neil degrasse tyson
13:43from the hayden planetarium in new york i'm quite familiar with dr tyson he's responsible for the
13:48demotion of pluto from planetary status i liked pluto ergo i do not like you but i actually didn't
13:58demote pluto that was a vote of the international astronomical union if ifs and buts were candy and
14:03nuts we'd all have a merry christmas think about that dr tyson
14:10that the guy you were telling me about oh yeah
14:16howard the person at fault for you not getting a security clearance is me
14:22you yes but before you get upset i want you to know i went to the fbi and retracted my
14:27statement
14:27and they were okay with that no if anything i made it worse in any case i have been riddled
14:35with guilt
14:36which is causing gorn infested rem sleep so i'm here now to say i'm sorry are you kidding me you've
14:45set my career back at least two years and you think you can make it right with i'm sorry yes
14:51i followed the social protocol i attempted to right the wrong and when i failed to do so i delivered
14:57a
14:57heartfelt apology now you say apology accepted and i will offer you a one-time-only high-five
15:05your apology is not accepted you're tricking me it really is isn't it leave me alone sheldon
15:15dr cooper i just wanted you to know i'm sorry for the role i played in the pluto matter oh
15:20shut up
15:27sheldon hello what are you doing here i have troubles penny come to pour them out to the
15:35sympathetic ear of the local barkeep you know they have a really nice bar over at the olive garden
15:42i don't like the olive garden they treat me like family
15:48okay sheldon what can i get you alcohol could you be a little more specific ethyl alcohol
15:5640 milliliters i'm sorry i don't know milliliters yeah blame president james jimmy carter
16:03he started america on a path to the metric system but then just gave up
16:07he wonders why he was a one-term president would you say that's about 40 milliliters more or less great
16:17now where were we i believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail fortunately thanks to
16:23computer savvy alcoholics there's an app for that let's see harvey wallbanger sex on the beach i hardly
16:32think so rob roy silk slipper mad hatter oh i'll have a rosewater ricky
16:40a what you'll need pitted brandied cherries gin rosewater angostura bitters and overproofed rum now
16:49first dust the cherries with sugar then spray them with a mixture of rum and bitters then ignite the
16:55rum here you go one rosewater ricky that's not how it looks in the picture oh yeah you know every
17:02bartender makes it differently why don't you give it a try all right to the metric system
17:20i can't taste the cherries
17:25all right sheldon what's on your mind i wronged howard you won't accept my apology oh right that
17:32yes leonard told me sorry honey penny you face failure on a daily basis
17:39how do you cope i drink
17:44to drinking
17:49nope
17:54oh if only there were some way to force howard to accept my apology so i could escape this miasma
18:00of guilt you know sometimes stuff just happens and there's nothing you can do about it for example
18:05lisa peterson hasn't talked to me since the 11th grade because no matter how much you apologize you
18:09can't go back and undry hump someone's boyfriend i see you're saying i'm facing starfleet academy's
18:18unwinnable command scenario the kobayashi maroon exactly sometimes you can't win captain kirk won
18:27kirk cheated
18:31impressive that you know that it's hard to believe i'm actually having this conversation with you
18:38right there with you kirk beat the kobayashi maru by reprogramming the simulator
18:46that's it what i'll reprogram howard what sheldon you can't reprogram people but no you can't
18:55reprogram people to james tiberius kirk
19:10hello all hello hey howard you're feeling better about me today aren't you not really yes you are
19:20i'm using neuro-linguistic programming to modify your thought patterns
19:26go away sheldon there's a 995 ebook down the drain what's in the bag it's for howard
19:34sheldon you can't fix this with gifts nevertheless i've hurt you and whether you forgive me or not i
19:41want you to have this you're giving me a couch cushion no the cushion is merely symbolic i'm giving
19:50you my spot on the couch but you love that spot no i love my mother my feelings for my
20:00spot are much
20:01greater it is the singular location in space around which revolves my entire universe and now it's yours
20:12oh my god dude now you have to forgive him
20:17all right apology accepted high five not too hard
20:25thank you i've been crying like this in story story three
20:39i gotta tell you sheldon i understand why you chose this spot i mean the temperature's
20:44good but there's no draft i can see the television but i can still talk to i changed my mind
20:49get out of
20:49my spot how long 94 seconds
21:21so
21:23you
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