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Watch The Big Bang Theory AMZN GalaxyTV Season 4 Episode 23 online in HD on Dailymotion.
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00:02Hey, do me a favor and take table seven.
00:05You mean the one with my 118-pound rock-hard stud of a fiancé who's prone to canker sores and
00:10pink eye?
00:12No, I prefer to look at it as the one with my ex-boyfriend and his gorgeous, successful, and sophisticated
00:17girlfriend who makes me feel like a toothless oaky.
00:22Do you want me to spill hot soup on her?
00:25Oh, please, you're not that kind of person.
00:27I know, but if she orders something low-fat, I'll totally give her the full-fat version.
00:35Uh, that's my water.
00:37What?
00:38My water, you're drinking it.
00:39Beer, Lord.
00:42Have you been drinking it?
00:44Yes, it's my water.
00:46Well, that's it, then. I'm dead.
00:50Here we go.
00:51I'm sorry, do I really need to connect the dots for you?
00:54Only the backwashed into this glass is every pathogen that calls your mouth home sweet home.
00:59Not to mention the visitors who arrive on the dancing tongue of your subtropical girlfriend.
01:05Hey, that's my sister and my country you're talking about.
01:08Then it may have defiled one, but I won't have you talking smack about the other.
01:13You guys ready to order?
01:14Yes, I'd like a seven-day course of penicillin, some syrup of Ipecac to induce vomiting, and a mint.
01:22I don't understand.
01:23He drank from Leonard's glass.
01:25He drank from Leonard's glass. Words they'll be carving into my tombstone.
01:30That's actually my napkin.
01:32Oh, this is a nightmare!
01:34Where are you going?
01:35To the bar to sterilize my mouth with alcohol.
01:38Gangway, dead man walking!
01:42A whole universe was in a hot, dense state that nearly 14 million years ago, expansion started way around.
01:49The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool.
01:52Neanderthals developed tools, we built a wall.
01:54We built the pyramids, math, science, history, unraveling the mystery.
01:58It all started with a big bang.
02:06All right, here we go.
02:07Two lemonades, one iced tea, and a root beer for Priya.
02:13Is it diet?
02:14That's what you ordered.
02:20Hey, have you and Howard started planning your wedding yet?
02:23Yeah, we're thinking of having it on a cliff overlooking the ocean.
02:27Nothing soothes those pre-wedding jitters like the thought of falling and drowning.
02:32What did your mother say when you told her you were getting married?
02:35He hasn't told her yet. He's waiting for the right time.
02:38I was thinking of weaving it into her eulogy.
02:42Howard, you've got to tell your mother.
02:44Hey, have you told your parents you're needing this short glass of skim milk here?
02:49Uh, that's different.
02:52First of all, we're not engaged.
02:54And second, Indian parents are very protective of their children.
02:57Right, right.
02:58Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-dee-da approach to their sons.
03:05I gargled with tequila and may have swallowed a teeny bit.
03:09You all right?
03:09Fine. Thank you for asking.
03:11I love you so much.
03:17Fire demon.
03:19Ooh, fire demon.
03:21Sheldon's turning up the heat.
03:25Troll master.
03:27Check it. Howard pulls one out from under the bridge.
03:29Nice.
03:33Water nymph.
03:34Oh, yeah. She's got puddles in all the right places.
03:38Could you please play the game without commenting on every card?
03:41Sorry.
03:43Walking tree.
03:50Last one.
03:50I'm taking a stroll and I'm sporting wood.
03:58Okay. The eagle has landed.
04:01What's going on?
04:02Bernadette and my mother are having a get-to-know-you lunch at the Old Town Deli.
04:06Oh, that sounds lovely.
04:07Hope so.
04:08Of course, if history is any indication, my mother will swallow her whole and spit out her bones like an
04:11owl.
04:14Have you met Bernadette's parents?
04:16You mean Adolf and Ava?
04:20Not yet. One deuce step at a time.
04:24Sheldon, that's my water.
04:25Oh, dear Lord.
04:31That's not your water.
04:33I know.
04:37Where's the mouthwash?
04:40Where indeed.
04:45Mom, how?
04:48Where are you?
04:49I'm in the toilet.
04:53So, how'd it go?
04:54Too soon to say.
04:56I'm not done yet.
05:00No, I mean lunch today with Bernadette.
05:03Oh, I had a pastrami sandwich.
05:06She had eggplant lasagna.
05:09But that's what a person orders in a Jewish deli.
05:14Besides food, did you get along?
05:16Did you talk?
05:17Oh, sure.
05:18Did you know she's going to school to become a microbiologist?
05:23No, she never mentioned it.
05:27I bet she did and you didn't listen.
05:32Yeah, that's probably it.
05:34So, what do you think?
05:34Do you like her?
05:35I mean, she's great, huh?
05:36She's a lovely girl.
05:38Cute as a button.
05:40That's good to hear, because I've got some news.
05:44I hope it's good news, because I've got nothing but disappointment in here.
05:58Bernadette and I are getting married.
06:05Ma?
06:08You too busy bearing down?
06:12Ma?
06:16Oh, my God.
06:17Ma?
06:18Stand back.
06:19I'm going to break the door down.
06:28Son of a bitch.
06:30Ma, help.
06:35Hey.
06:36Hello.
06:37I haven't seen you in a while.
06:38How's it going?
06:40Other than waiting out the exponential growth period of the virulent organisms trooping through
06:45my microvilli into my circulatory system.
06:49Hunky-dory.
06:55Did I say something amusing?
06:58Did I say something amusing?
06:58I don't know.
06:58Maybe.
06:59I have no idea what you said.
07:01So your mirth is merely a discharge of nervous energy with no semantic content at all?
07:07My mirth classic.
07:09My mirth classic.
07:11Is there a station coming up where I can board your giggling train of thought?
07:16It's not a big deal, Sheldon.
07:18It's just, ever since Leonard's been Danny Raj's sister, I've had to keep my distance.
07:22I don't get to hear all your jibber-jabber.
07:25Jibber-jabber?
07:26I don't jibber-jabber.
07:28What are you doing at work these days?
07:30Oh, I'm working on time-dependent backgrounds in string theory, specifically quantum field
07:36theory and d-dimensional the sitter space.
07:40Okay, come on, even you have to admit that's jibber-jabber.
07:45Interesting.
07:45Do you know where the phrase jibber-jabber comes from?
07:49Oh, my God.
07:50You're about to jibber-jabber about jibber-jabber.
07:56Howard and his mother are at the hospital.
07:58Come on, we gotta go.
07:59Oh, my God.
07:59What happened?
07:59I don't know.
08:00I just got a text.
08:00Come on, hurry.
08:01Okay.
08:06Sheldon, let's go.
08:08To a hospital?
08:10Full of sick people?
08:13Oh, I don't think so.
08:15Okay, well, your friend and his mother are there.
08:17We're going.
08:19I can't.
08:20Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of germs.
08:22Not all germs.
08:25Just the ones that will kill me.
08:27It's the same way I'm not afraid of all steak knives.
08:30Just the ones that might be plunged in my thorax.
08:34Fine, I'll tell Howard you didn't come because you're more concerned about your own well-being
08:37than his.
08:38I would think he would know that.
08:42Okay, you know what?
08:43You are unbelievable.
08:44You buy all these superhero t-shirts, but when it's time for you to step up and do the right
08:49thing, you just hide in the laundry room.
08:52Fine.
08:53I'll go.
08:54Just for the record, my Aunt Ruth died in a hospital.
08:58She went in to visit my Uncle Roger, caught something, and bit the dust a week later.
09:04Two of them now share a coffee can on my mother's mantle.
09:11So I knocked down the bathroom door, picked up my poor unconscious mother, carried her
09:15to the car, and drove like a madman to the emergency room.
09:19You're a real hero, Howard.
09:20No, I did what any son would do.
09:23Hang on a second.
09:24You picked up your mother?
09:28Her own legs are barely able to do that.
09:32I was filled with adrenaline.
09:34I mean, it happens to be how women lift cars off babies.
09:37Yeah, I'm saying it'd be easier to lift a car.
09:41What can I tell you?
09:43After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.
09:48So, how is she?
09:50They're running tests.
09:51I don't know.
09:52It may have been a heart attack or heart attack-like event.
09:55What's the difference?
09:57A heart attack-like event is an event that's like a heart attack.
10:02Thanks for clearing that up.
10:04Regardless, coronary problems are imminently treatable.
10:07What's more likely going to kill Howard's mother are the antibiotic-resistant super
10:11bugs festering in every nook and cranny of this hospital.
10:15Okay, you're not helping.
10:18Disagree.
10:20Go sit over there.
10:23Now sit over there.
10:24It looks cleaner.
10:28Is there a history of heart disease in your family?
10:31My family is the history of heart disease.
10:34There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this.
10:42So it's probably genetic.
10:44Well, maybe.
10:45Mom also had just gotten some news that might have upset her.
10:49What?
10:50It's not important.
10:52Come on, Howard.
10:53I'm going to be your wife.
10:54If you could share anything with me.
10:56You'd think that, but no.
11:02You told her we were going to get married and she had a heart attack?
11:06You can't take that personally.
11:10How else is she supposed to take it?
11:12What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world
11:19to my mother.
11:19I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
11:24You mean sexual intercourse?
11:30Well, when you say it like that, you make it sound creepy.
11:33What happened?
11:35Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't.
11:43Bernie, wait.
11:47I'll give you $1,000 if you'll drive me home.
11:53Nice of you to come for Howard.
11:55Well, he's my friend.
11:56It's what you do.
12:00I'm sorry.
12:01Did I miss something?
12:02It's just so weird.
12:03Howard Wolowitz is my friend.
12:06You know, once he tried to stick his tongue down my throat and I broke his nose.
12:11That's a little easier to believe than he's your friend.
12:13Yeah, tell me about it.
12:15You know, my brother had a group of friends like this in India.
12:18They dressed up in leotards and goggles and called themselves the New Delhi Power Rangers.
12:24You mean when he was little?
12:26Not as little as you'd want him to be.
12:31You know, this stuff is horrible.
12:32You want to see if we can find the cafeteria and get real coffee?
12:35Sure.
12:36We're going to the cafeteria to get some coffee.
12:38You want anything?
12:39I'm fine.
12:40It's nice that they're getting along.
12:43Your girlfriend and your ex-girlfriend are hanging out together?
12:45Well, yeah.
12:46That can only be good for you.
12:52What are you talking about?
12:53One of them broke up with you.
12:55Do you really want her telling the other one why?
12:58I don't care.
12:59I don't have anything to hide.
13:01Good.
13:02Good.
13:02Then you have nothing to worry about.
13:05No.
13:06I do not.
13:11You are a mean little man.
13:15You'd think it'd be because my parents didn't love me, but actually they loved me a great deal.
13:20Barney, it's not you.
13:22She's just set in her ways.
13:24How can we be together if the thought of us getting married might kill your mother?
13:29It's the circle of life, sweetie.
13:34One day our son will marry someone and it will kill you.
13:40Howard, I have to go to the bathroom and no one will take me home.
13:44What's wrong with the bathroom here?
13:47Pneumococcus, streptococcus, staphylococcus and other assorted caucuses.
13:52Sheldon, my mother is on her deathbed and my fiance is grief-stricken over putting her there.
13:57I'm not taking you home.
13:59Will you at least go with me to the restroom here so you can open the door and flush the
14:03urinal?
14:03No!
14:05This might be a good time to point out, Howard, that friendship requires a certain give and take.
14:11Hold the door!
14:19Mr. Wolowitz?
14:21Is she okay?
14:22It wasn't a heart attack.
14:23She's awake, she's resting comfortably, and we're still running a few tests.
14:27Can I see her?
14:28Well, actually, she said, and I quote, she'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.
14:35Me?
14:36Why me?
14:37Jews have been asking that for centuries.
14:39There's no real good answer.
14:43Hey, you wish me luck.
14:45Don't worry, you'll be fine.
14:47Let's just hide Mr. Cross.
14:50If it touches her, it burns.
14:56You brought a Catholic girl home to your mother?
14:58Yeah.
14:59Why don't I write you a prescription for Xanax?
15:07Finally.
15:23Oh, what fresh hell is this?
15:25Wait, you can't leave here.
15:26You've been exposed.
15:31No, I haven't.
15:34It's all good.
15:37You want to talk about crazy mothers?
15:39Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up.
15:42No, it's a poor thing.
15:43It makes him desperate to please women.
15:45That's why the foreplay goes on and on.
15:48It does, doesn't it?
15:50It's like he's trying to win a prize.
15:53A word of advice?
15:54Don't doze off.
15:54You will never hear the end of it.
16:03I mean, there are a couple of things I did with Penny that might be a little silly.
16:08Like what?
16:10Every once in a while before we go to bed, I put on a little show for her.
16:17What do you mean a show?
16:19You know, like the way I took my clothes off.
16:25Like to music?
16:27I'd look pretty stupid if there was no music.
16:32So you'd do a striptease?
16:34Well, I wasn't swinging around a pole.
16:38Good, good.
16:42There was one time I put body glitter on.
16:47Well, I don't think you have to worry about Penny telling my sister that.
16:49No, she wouldn't.
16:51The big problem is me telling her.
16:56You really are a mean little man.
16:59Oh, God.
17:00That is so true.
17:02Yeah, I know, right?
17:03Hey.
17:04What took you guys so long?
17:06Oh, we were just chatting.
17:08It's nice.
17:08What about?
17:09We were just comparing notes about how you are in the sack.
17:16That's funny.
17:19What if she wasn't kidding?
17:21Doesn't matter.
17:22I'm the king of foreplay.
17:28Hey, how'd it go?
17:30You're a putz.
17:32You know what that means?
17:34Yeah, do you?
17:37Your mother just taught it to me.
17:38She thinks she got food poisoning from that deli and she just wanted to make sure I was okay.
17:44And are you?
17:45No, because I'm engaged to a putz.
17:50You let me believe I was the reason she had a heart attack.
17:54Well, based on the available...
17:55Shut up!
17:57She said I'm a wonderful girl and that you're lucky to have me.
18:00Where are you going?
18:01To the toilet!
18:03Is that okay with you?
18:10Is it just me or does she sound sexy when she's angry?
18:22Mountain elf.
18:27He takes the elf from off the shelf.
18:32Hell hounds.
18:34Hell hounds!
18:35Who let the satanic dogs out?
18:37Who, who, who, who?
18:41Colossal serpent.
18:42I got a colossal serpent right here.
18:48Must you?
18:49Sorry, I'm just trying to cheer my buddy up.
18:53Rotting zombie.
18:55Sheldon's new Facebook photo.
19:03Zandor, wizard of the north.
19:05Ha!
19:06I win.
19:07You skipped the part about being under a two-week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease.
19:10Absolutely.
19:12Absolutely.
19:27It's immortal.
19:28Graceou.
19:29Bye.
19:39Birk Kick.
19:40Bye.
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