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00:05To be continued...
00:46To be continued...
01:00Have you been playing this whole time?
01:03Well, what'd you think it was?
01:04Some kind of sentimental montage in your head?
01:06You're doing the show again, Farang.
01:08Oh, that's right.
01:09Scooter, it's time.
01:11You got it, boss.
01:15Sabrina Carpenter, 30 seconds to curtain, Miss Carpenter.
01:18Miss Carpenter?
01:20Thank you, Scooter.
01:21Oh, my God.
01:23It's you.
01:24I love your outfit.
01:25So do I.
01:26You're going to have to change.
01:28Yes, ma'am.
01:29Is that my wig?
01:31I don't wear wigs.
01:33This is my real hair.
01:34No, yeah.
01:36Same.
01:37No, and I know that.
01:38No, I know you know.
01:38Great.
01:39Okay.
01:42It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Sabrina Carpenter.
01:48Yay!
02:01It's time to play the music.
02:04It's time to light the lights.
02:06It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.
02:10It's time to put on makeup.
02:12It's time to dress up right.
02:14It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.
02:17Why do we always come here?
02:20I guess we'll never know.
02:22It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show.
02:31But now let's get things started.
02:34Why don't you get things started?
02:36It's time to get things started.
02:38Sensational, inspirational, celebrational, gravitational.
02:42This is what we call the Muppet Show.
03:00Hi-ho and welcome to the Muppet Show, everybody.
03:04You know, you are so excited to be back on the very stage where it all started and then ended
03:10and then is maybe starting again, depending on how tonight goes.
03:13Hmm.
03:14I can't believe they're doing the old show again.
03:17Well, if it ain't broke.
03:18No, they are broke.
03:20That's why they're doing it.
03:21Oh!
03:23Okay, now to kick us off.
03:25It's our very special guest, a sensational singer, songwriter, and global superstar, the one and only
03:31Sabrina Carpenter.
03:33Yeah!
03:37Oh, quiet!
03:39Ugh, hooligans.
03:41Do it, do it, do it, do it!
03:42No!
03:43No!
03:46Stop, or you'll be removed!
03:49Don't worry, Sam, I got it.
03:58You said your phone was broken, just forgot to charge it, whole outfit you're wearing, God, I hope it's ironic.
04:06Did you just say you're finished, didn't know when started?
04:10It's all just so familiar, baby, what do you call it?
04:16Super!
04:17Or is it?
04:19Slow!
04:21Well, maybe it's...
04:23Yes!
04:25But there's a cue to work for it.
04:27I know.
04:29Man child, why you always come running to me?
04:37That's my life, won't you let an innocent woman be?
04:45Never heard of self-care.
04:48Half your brain just ain't there.
04:52Man child, why you always come running to me get on my mind?
05:01Girl, I like my boys playing hard to get, and I like my men all incompetent, and I swear they
05:10choose me.
05:11I'm not choosing them, I'm not choosing them.
05:14Amen.
05:16Amen!
05:17Man child, why you always come running to me?
05:23I can't see it.
05:28I can't see it.
05:28I don't care.
05:28No I really hit an innocent woman be.
05:32I can't see it.
05:35And I'll like my mail
05:38Incomitant
05:44Hey, man!
05:46Hey, man!
06:03Wow, what an exciting opening, Uncle Kermit!
06:06Great job, chickens!
06:07I'm sorry about the fan!
06:11Scooter, come here, come here, come here
06:13Why is it so crowded back here?
06:15Well, these are all the acts in the show, boss!
06:17Are you sure I approved all of that?
06:20And more!
06:24Yeah, remember how excited everyone was to be at our first show back?
06:27And you kept telling them that their acts sounded fun!
06:31Scooter, everybody knows that that sounds fun is just a polite way of saying no
06:36Yeah, that feels pretty indirect, boss
06:38You know, this could be a problem
06:39Okay, well, an ex-person who talks to me is definitely getting cut
06:43Oh, Kermie!
06:48Excuse-moi, Talon's walking
06:50Who? Where are the Talon?
06:52Me! Me! I'm the Talon!
06:54Oh, Kermie!
06:57Isn't it wonderful being back in the theater again?
07:00Giving the people what they truly want?
07:03What?
07:05Good luck
07:07Scooter, uh, uh, yeah, uh, Piggy, uh, you know, uh, the show is, uh, it's running kinda long
07:13And, uh, you know, looks like you're doing two acts
07:17Exactly! Now, about the musical number
07:19When I emerge from the giant seashell dressed as Aphrodite, let's make sure our 300 dancing Spartans know to exit
07:26the Trojan horse precisely on my high B float!
07:32Right
07:33Uh, just thinking out loud here, but, uh, you think maybe all that historical accuracy might upstage you?
07:42No!
07:45Kermit! Kermit!
07:46I couldn't help but over here because I was spying on you guys
07:48If you need, I can help you trim some of the show
07:51Oh, oh, really? Uh, thanks, what were you thinking?
07:53How about a little off the top?
07:56Uh, I don't know if prop comedy is gonna help us right now, Fozzie
08:00Uh, guess I'll have to put on my thinking cap then
08:05Uh, like it? Huh? Huh?
08:07Uh, sure, if it can help you think of how to cut some acts from the show
08:11You got it, pal! Got an idea already!
08:14Oh!
08:15Hey, Seth Rogen!
08:17Oh, hey, Fozzie, this is incredible, it's always been a dream of mine to be here
08:21Ooh, got any other dreams?
08:25What does that mean?
08:27Your cat
08:29I'm the executive producer
08:31Then you can let yourself know we're going in a different direction
08:37Our next act is the world's most fearless daredevil-slash-performance artist
08:42Who's been shocking audiences and insurance companies for years
08:47Let's hear it for the Great Guns' Hour!
08:52Thank you, thank you so much!
08:55Behold, it is I, the Great Gonzo
08:58And tonight, I will attempt this deadly obstacle course on self-driving runnerskates
09:04All the while reciting every Academy Award winner
09:07In the category of...
09:09Best Supporting Actress!
09:14Woohoo!
09:15Ignite the rings!
09:18Release the blades!
09:22And it starts right now!
09:25Now!
09:26Goldie Hawn!
09:27Lupita Nyong'o!
09:28Sally Winters!
09:33Oh, that was painful
09:34For him or for us?
09:36Both!
09:37Both!
09:37He he he he he!
09:40And now!
09:41Pigs in wigs!
09:54Duchess Pigotton of County Mayo upon Sandwich
10:00which Lord Scrappleton and this plus one what a dazzling soiree Mon Cherie she
10:19has some nerve showing her face around here that is apparently the dress code was
10:28optional tonight
10:30darling you're so devilish say could you be a dear and fetch us a beverage of course my
10:53trumpet the coast is clear Piggy I forgot to tell you we had to recast your lover
11:01what what with who you gotta be kidding me yeah I'm just as confused as you are okay
11:10all right let's just get on with it oh lover how I've missed your chiseled chin your
11:19luscious thick head of raven hair and your big strong arms to me yep there you are my
11:29darling and who are you kind sir I don't know I was back there schmoozing when
11:36someone put me in this weird jacket and threw me on the stage oh guy oh no I've been caught
11:42and now my
11:43public lover and my secret lover whomst I am torrent between must do to the death because they are so
11:51madly in love with moi oh yes about that I I should tell you I I've met someone what when
12:00just now by the
12:01carving station oh I know it's only been a few seconds but it's true love what is happening here
12:10it's love good for you my friend oh thank you we're so happy forget it I'm getting out of here
12:18while I still
12:29have my dignity your projectile sir not too late sketch is over actually why don't you leave them
12:36there's a lot more of this show left unfortunately okay there's gold don't hug anyone till it is dry
12:45next okay everybody all of your names are on this run of show in a highly specific order and as
12:54long as I have this list in my hands the show will go off without a hit feels like you're
13:06kind of
13:06jumped at fate with that one okay yeah thank you very much now for our next musical number let's
13:15take it to the streets the rat infested streets
13:28I've been trying to call I've been on my own for long enough maybe you can show me how to
13:35love maybe I'm going through withdrawals you don't
13:42even have to do too much you can join me on with just a touch baby I look around and
13:51city's cold and empty no one's around to judge me I can't see clearly when you're gone
14:00I said ooh I'm blinded by the light no I can't sleep until I feel your touch I said ooh
14:14I'm drowning in the night oh when I'm like this you're the one I trust hey hey hey
14:29I said ooh I'm blinded by the light no I can't sleep until I feel your touch I said ooh
14:40I'm blinded by the light no I can't sleep until I feel your touch hey hey hey
14:51get the bird get the bird I got the bird I got the bird we're gonna be there
14:59sorry on vocal rest can't talk on vocal rest
15:03scooter what is going on here am I on next or what
15:07oh uh kermit had to cut your number miss piggy didn't he tell you
15:10what does it look like he told me
15:14you think I'm wearing these gladiator sandals for my freaking health
15:18uh probably not
15:20uh kermit
15:25yep good to be back
15:28so sorry about the mishap earlier we're still working out a few kinks
15:33oh that's all right I love a kink
15:37well uh I just wanted to say we're really honored to have you here with us tonight
15:41are you kidding me being here is a dream come true I mean I could have been anywhere else in
15:46the world
15:46tonight I I turned down a Pulitzer Prize and getting my face on the new quarter and a second date
15:52with
15:54really yeah he's single no but this is the only place I want to be right now and nothing
16:02open the door frog she knows boss I think someone's at the door
16:09uh who's that uh no no no that's uh that's just an old theater you know uh these pipes can
16:16be pretty
16:16noisy
16:17where is he wow the door wasn't even locked
16:22I know you're here frog
16:25miss piggy I'm sure you get this all the time I'm actually meant to tell you earlier but
16:30you're my idol
16:32yeah I basically like modeled my whole look and style after you
16:36oh trust me my attorneys and I have taken notice and we will be in touch
16:40oh and I'll make sure my attorneys respond to your attorneys
16:47did you hear that oh kermit said the theater is really old and the pipes are a little noisy
16:52oh really what else did kermit say did he mention he got my big number from the show
16:57what no that that's crazy there's no muppet show without a miss piggy number
17:02exactly if only he were around to hear that
17:05door I am so sorry you don't deserve to lose one second of screen time you are an icon
17:12oh stop it you're too sweet go on
17:15oh I mean I grew up watching you my parents grew up watching you
17:19their parents grew up okay meet and greet over
17:23if kermit ever shows his face you let him know I am going to sing in this show
17:32oh no that's right are you okay sorry I forgot you were down there
17:37I'm fine Sabrina you know it happens a lot more than you'd think
17:40all right Scooter you know the drill let's get another door in here
17:45already on it boss
17:48you know I've actually met kermit a few times
17:50he's actually really lovely
17:53I mean I've met a ton of celebrities
17:55a lot of jerks
17:57but not kermit
17:59I mean yes but not that big
18:05oh I'm Maya by the way
18:21welcome to Muppet Labs where the future is being made today
18:24I'm dr. Bunsen honeydew and this is my fearless assistant beaker
18:34today we tackle a modern epidemic distraction
18:38these days everything is competing for your eyeballs
18:41mobile devices televisions and the day-to-day terrors that consume our brains when we aren't looking at the first
18:48two
18:49well now you can focus effortlessly thanks to my latest invention focus focus
18:56one drop of this serum per eye and your attention span will multiply exponentially
19:03meeper come back come back sit on the stool
19:07that's it good now I'm going to just lower the stool gently
19:11okay there we go a little tea drop this won't hurt me at all
19:16there we go there there there
19:20oh dear that might have been just a teensy bit too strong
19:31maybe I neglected to dilute it properly
19:33now let's see where did I write that down
19:40oh this is interesting
19:42this one's marked urgent
19:44hmm I'm sure that's fine
19:55I feel alive you know I mean as a performer
20:15oh wow like are you okay kermit
20:19yeah because you seem a little wound up like like your chakras are like totally out of whack
20:26you're right I guess I am a little stressed
20:29hey thanks for checking in oh for sure because you know like I can read auras
20:34and yours is like bad it is oh totally and we're breathing in oh is that what we're doing
20:49Janice
20:50can I breathe out yet
20:55Janice
20:58actually that did make me feel a bit better
21:00almost like things are going to be okay
21:12I saw the light and there was a river of souls and a wall of flames and I was doing
21:19award show powder for a man in red
21:22that sounds like heaven
21:24right
21:26correction
21:27Emmy Award winning comedy icon Maya Rudolph is alive
21:31a thing fell on her and made her be alive again
21:34stay tuned for more hard hitting news
21:37whoopie Goldberg
21:37good job to Houston
21:38course he's right
21:41show's not half bad
21:42yeah it's all bad
21:58maybe when I met you there was peace unknown
22:02I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
22:07I was soft inside
22:09there was something going on
22:17you do something to me that I can't explain
22:22hold me closer and I feel no pain
22:27every beat of my heart
22:30we got something going on
22:36I love in the stream
22:38that is what we are
22:41no one in between
22:43how can we be wrong
22:46sail away with me
22:48to another world
22:51and we realize
22:52you're not cutting me from the show
22:55from one side to another
22:59I can't live without you if this boat was gone
23:06everything is nothing if you've got no way
23:11you'll just run in the night
23:13slowly lose inside of the real thing
23:18slowly losing sight of the real thing
23:28But that won't happen to us and we got no doubt
23:33Now you're in this boat and I am freaking out
23:38And the message is clear
23:40This could be the year for the real thing
23:47Alan's in the stream
23:49That is what we are, no one in between
23:54How can we be wrong?
23:57Sail away with me to another world
24:01And we rely on each other, aha
24:06From one day we'll do another, aha
24:23I just have to say
24:24Singing a duet with you has always been a dream of mine
24:27And now I've done it
24:28And I'm still so young
24:31Yes, just like me
24:32I'm young, very
24:35Look at us, two young ingenues
24:37At the top of their game
24:45Well, um, does this mean we're good then?
24:48You're not going to try to sue me for stealing your look?
24:51It's called copyright infringement, sweetie
24:53And of course not!
24:56That's really for the lawyers to decide
25:00I'm trying to do the best I can
25:03Back up, back up just a little bit
25:05I'm trying to be fair
25:06I'm trying to be fair to everyone
25:09Okay, everybody stop!
25:11There is only time for one more act
25:15What?
25:16One more?
25:17But which one, boss?
25:19How are you going to choose?
25:31Look, do you trust me?
25:33Well, of course we do, Kermit
25:36I mean, maybe not this guy
25:40I've been burned before
25:43Okay, uh, give me a minute, okay?
25:47Excuse me
25:55Hey there, folks
25:56Uh, how you all doing so far?
26:00Ooh
26:00Um, I can't say that the show has gone exactly the way we planned
26:06Jamie Lee Curtis, Regina King
26:11The point is, uh, maybe we're a little rusty
26:14But, uh, but we promised to do a great show for you
26:18And, uh, I hope that you at least enjoyed some of it
26:24Well, now we're at the end
26:30And you're all probably wondering what the final number is
26:34In fact, I was supposed to come out here
26:36And announce one of the acts waiting backstage
26:40But, um, I'm sorry
26:45I'm not gonna do that
26:49See?
26:50I can't trust anyone
26:56Tonight
26:57Tonight
26:57We're gonna have ourselves
27:01A real good time
27:04I feel alive
27:12And the world
27:14I'll turn it inside out
27:18I'm floating around
27:21In ecstasy
27:23So don't stop me now
27:28Don't stop me
27:30Cause we're having a good time
27:32Having a good time
27:33I'm a shooting star
27:35Leaping through the sky
27:36Like a tiger
27:37Defying the laws of gravity
27:40Woo!
27:41I'm a racing car
27:42Passing by
27:43Like Lady G'diver
27:45I'm gonna go
27:46Go, go
27:47Cause I don't wanna stop at all
27:52Don't stop me
27:53Don't stop me
27:53Ha, ha, ha
27:54Don't stop me
27:56Don't stop me
27:56Boo, boo, boo
27:58Don't stop me
27:59Don't stop me
27:59Wow, wow, wow
28:01Don't stop me
28:02Don't stop me
28:02Have a good time
28:03Good time
28:08Don't stop
28:09Don't stop
28:12Don't stop me
28:13Cause we're having a good time
28:15Don't stop me
28:16We're having a good time
28:18I don't wanna stop at all
28:22All
28:26All
28:30That was great
28:31We did it
28:32Yeah
28:34I'm being honest
28:35I'm a little insulted
28:35They were gonna cut me
28:36But they kept this armadillo
28:37And the tutu in there
28:40Never even seen that guy
28:42That guy's not canon
28:44Well, that's about all the time we have
28:47But before we go
28:48Let's give a great big thank you
28:50To our incredible guest star
28:51Sabrina Carpenter
28:53Yay
28:55Thanks for coming
28:56You know, you fit right in with us, Sabrina
28:58Well, it helps her with the same height
29:00Good point
29:01Diane Wiest
29:06Good night, everybody
29:07We'll see you next time
29:08On the Outfit Show
29:14Zoe Saldana
29:14We've got what if it one
29:17And you type who went to home
29:29To the end of the movie
29:49Huh. I got this sharp pain in my left arm.
29:52I wonder what that's about.
29:54I'll tell you this much. It's not from clapping.
29:56Oh!
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