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00:00The End
00:15Morning is love, desperate to find you.
00:19Morning is love without a home.
00:22Morning is love, showing you our unbreakable bond.
00:28Morning is love, clinging to the hope one day we will see each other again.
00:36I'm glad to you, young man.
00:38It's all right, it's all right.
00:40I've decided on an open casket, so that we can all celebrate his life together one last time.
00:48Why, Nibba?
00:49You were taken too soon, lad.
00:53Rest easy, little fella.
00:58When I needed a hand, I found your port.
01:26Oh my god, is she pregnant? With him? Is it the posh lads?
01:30Oh my god, is she pregnant? With him? Is it the posh lads?
01:31I didn't know we had a dinner.
01:34It is, dirty bastard. No way.
01:40Oh god.
01:41Well done for not being preggers out, you two. We've been together like four weeks after record for round here,
01:46that.
01:47Amy, stop embarrassing yourself, this is painful to watch.
01:50What are you on about, you gimp?
01:51You're getting with this posh mupper just to get close to me. Look, I know it's a difficult time with
01:57the anniversary of our kiss approaching but you've just got on it.
01:59You're best with this kiss, Friis. I'm the best kiss you've ever had all night.
02:03Oh, it's okay to admit it.
02:04Nah, she had a bad kiss, I thought.
02:05I felt you could open my kiss though.
02:07I was thinking I'm old salad though.
02:08He's not even signed a new contract though.
02:11You must say that.
02:13I've got a kid at 16 now boys, with a slight error of uncertainty if it's mine or not. Told
02:17you I'm turning into a fully fledged Scouser.
02:19Lads, you will never be a Scouser. You don't want a pair of wellies.
02:23My nan got me them for Christmas.
02:25You what?
02:26Your nan.
02:26Lads, tomorrow night, don't forget, me dad's picking us up at 6, 40 and in karaoke.
02:31You know, 16 years of being absent could all be forgotten if he nails a rendition of Hey Jude.
02:37Shut up.
02:39You saying?
02:40Sorry, I just find it insensitive you talking about your alive dad when you know mine's dead.
02:44Oh, it's selfish.
02:45It's night, mate.
02:46You know, I feel like you've been very insensitive lately.
02:49You know, you're even thinking about your poor Ma who's probably going through a whirlwind of emotions right now.
02:52She is.
02:53Cos I am.
02:54What?
02:54I reckon this year is the year I finally bury me face in her arse.
02:59Oh.
03:00Listen, if I had the choice of eating chicken dippers out of her arse and while I'm in there I'd
03:04get it by her bus like Divock did.
03:06I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
03:07I'd take it.
03:09What a last meal.
03:11What a way to go.
03:12Too soon, lad.
03:41What?
03:42Oh, completely random.
03:44They are thriving.
03:45Can't argue with results.
03:50What about these, Tim?
03:52I think you'll find her hair colour is orchid purple and hers is heliotrope purple.
03:57And they're both hardcore vegans.
03:59Well, it's not for me to cast aspersions on the dietary requirements of other people.
04:03Why are them two together?
04:05Generational talent.
04:06Actually, they're both short.
04:08Hard to tell when you're sitting.
04:10Sir, I don't care if you put us together because we're both gay.
04:13I've learned so much from them already.
04:16I'm lucky that in a world where gay men still face the threat of persecution, I have a mentor like
04:24Ted Price who makes me feel safe, secure and free to be who I am.
04:30That's lovely, thanks.
04:32And just to clarify 100%, I had no idea you were both gay.
04:37No.
04:38Close the door no way else.
04:40I despise your face with a passion, lad.
04:43Don't talk to me for the next five weeks until this bloody scheme is over.
04:46Are you sure you'll make five more weeks, Grandad?
04:48I'm a year older than you, so watch your mouth, Mr Wampu.
04:51Why?
04:51What are you going to do?
04:53Bore me to death with tales of how life was bad for us in the 50s because we got thrown
04:57in jail for woman.
04:58It's hard to take you seriously considering your voice as an even baruch, yeah?
05:06Do you like Josie? Is this in?
05:08He's just nipped down the shaft for me.
05:10Oh, okay.
05:11Do you not want to come inside and wait for him?
05:14Er, yeah. Yeah, all right.
05:21Is that a new car?
05:23Er, yeah, it is.
05:25Suit ya.
05:27Thanks.
05:28Do you want some tea? I'm doing Rhys something.
05:30Yeah, go ahead.
05:31It's a chance.
05:32I was thinking, er, wedges and...
05:39Chicken dippers?
05:40Yeah.
05:42Yeah.
05:43How do you like your dippers, Con?
05:45I don't mind.
05:45Do you want them in the oven, on the grill?
05:48Whatever.
05:50If you're not out of my arse, then.
05:53What?
05:54No.
05:54He tells me everything you blame.
05:58Oh, look, it's all right. Don't worry about it. I know what lads are like.
06:01You should pants on your hand.
06:02Come to think of it.
06:04I've had a bit of a rough day, so...
06:07I'd be up for a bit of fun.
06:10If you are.
06:10If loving you is the wrong, baby.
06:14I don't wanna be right.
06:19What do you mean you can't play It's Starting in a minute?
06:21Don't worry.
06:22I put a shout out on Discord to get you a new partner.
06:24Oh, is there some of me now?
06:26Is there Hellfire?
06:27At least better than you, to be honest.
06:28No, some random calls.
06:30Your nan's butt plug.
06:32Oh, he's joining in the chat now.
06:33OK, bye.
06:35Is this your nan's butt plug?
06:37Hello?
06:39I can be your hero, baby.
06:43What an absolute bell-end, baby.
06:47Growl.
06:48Round one.
06:52Aw, lads.
06:54What have I told you about leaving your webs on top of mine?
06:56It marks them.
07:10No.
07:11Oh, just, just tiny, please.
07:13What the fuck?
07:17Better?
07:18No.
07:21It can't be.
07:24No.
07:26My hair.
07:28Are you sure you'll be able to get her back out?
07:34Mum!
07:37Cut!
07:43That's what you get for grassin' her mum!
07:45That was a warning. Next time, I'm in there for real.
07:50Winner!
07:51Get in!
07:53Hey, I'm sorry as I go with you about your name.
07:55It's a bit of a sore subject, you see, cos me nan actually showed me
07:58a butt plug collection once when I went out.
08:02Traumatising.
08:03Especially as each one came with a practical demonstration.
08:06Hang on.
08:07Do we have to sing now?
08:09Are we related?
08:14I thought the interview would be in person, but Zoom's fine.
08:18I'm really looking forward to it.
08:20See you then.
08:22No way. What are you looking forward to, Gail?
08:23You got a fella don't go?
08:26Er, yeah.
08:27Ooh.
08:27Yeah, I've got a little date of being on the Isle Tinder and that.
08:33Mustard boy!
08:34Stop adding boy to the end of everything because you think it makes it an insult.
08:37You can do it to anything and it sounds insulting.
08:39Oh, building an orphanage to save the children, boy.
08:42See?
08:43Alright lad, it's on the list.
08:48Gig theory about boy, boy!
09:05It's all about breadcrumbing now, Gail.
09:08Keeping lads interested by feeding them little breadcrumbs now and again.
09:10Like I like on Insta, a random lazy text, a blowjob.
09:14Last one was a joke.
09:16He's Duffy Duffy.
09:19He loves a bat and beat.
09:22He gets it down in three.
09:25He's Duffy Duffy.
09:28Put more in the bin than you are in your mouth again.
09:30Lad, if there's anything you want to talk about, you can.
09:35Suppose there is one thing.
09:37How do I get this knob with a hero complex off me back just because I didn't finish me lunch?
09:42He needs to learn all the lingo too.
09:44Like GGG.
09:45Good, given, and gain.
09:47Which means he's sex positive.
09:48Which means he wants to respectfully and wokefully shag your senseless.
09:52Yep.
09:52That was really educational, thanks for that, girls.
09:56You're welcome.
10:02Help me, almighty gay one.
10:05I've lost my mummy and my daddy.
10:07I'm a tragic little orphan that needs saving.
10:10First case of a justified orphan.
10:13Oh, here we go.
10:14What is this dark, scary place?
10:16What?
10:17A minor.
10:18What are you doing?
10:19Foster home!
10:20Oh, no!
10:21Please save me, Teddy Price.
10:23I'll save you.
10:25And then I'll ring your neck, you little maggie.
10:27Now then, trouble.
10:28What are you talking about?
10:29Oh, no.
10:30Just having a little chat with the girls about the crusty tissues I found under your bed yesterday.
10:35Mum, you'd best be joking.
10:37Of course I'm joking.
10:38But if you don't put them in the bin like I told you, I'm going to tell the whole school.
10:41Where are you going?
10:42Oh, I'm just off to have me meeting with the Tate Liverpool.
10:46We're going to put together an exhibition of your crusty tissues.
10:48Put your face next to it.
10:50Intimate moment by Rhys Duffy.
10:52Hey.
10:54Ta-ra.
10:55Emon.
10:55What?
10:56Yeah, there is one I made earlier.
10:58Disgusting.
10:58I have a very important announcement.
11:00You can do it, Tychid!
11:01For anyone out there who's suffering, for anyone out there who needs hope in their darkest hour,
11:06there's a very special man that will save you.
11:09Is it Jesus?
11:09Ted Price.
11:11The hero we didn't know we needed.
11:14Because we literally don't need him.
11:16The man that's going to make all our lives joyful.
11:20Oh, he's dead, lad.
11:21So please, let's hear it, for the one and only, our saviour, Ted Price.
11:27When I say Ted, you say Price.
11:30Ted!
11:30Price!
11:31Ted!
11:32Price!
11:33Price!
11:33Price!
11:33Price!
11:34Price!
11:34Price!
11:35Price!
11:36Price!
11:37Price!
11:37Price!
11:42Price!
11:48Price!
11:50Price!
11:50You're the best in the world!
11:51I don't want to win that!
11:54We should join a sick society.
11:56We will piss with Laden on our side.
11:58Jinxing on me, lads.
11:59Let's celebrate this victory, eh?
12:01Woo!
12:02My dad is sick.
12:04Oh, aye.
12:05If I had the choice of five minutes alone, with my dead dad or your dad, I'd choose your dad.
12:10The asshole had the sweetest leftovers I've ever seen.
12:13Goat it!
12:14You know why I was so good out there today, lads?
12:17Because I don't feel the weight in the bib.
12:18I had to play without fear.
12:21Because there goes the fear.
12:23Let it go.
12:25You turn around, and life's passed you by.
12:29Don't waste chances being afraid, eh?
12:32As I'm telling you boys, everything you've ever wanted, is on the other side of fear.
12:40I'm scared of karaoke.
12:42But you know what?
12:43I'm going to do it!
12:44Come on!
12:45Yeah!
12:46Come on!
12:47Come on!
12:47Come on!
12:55There's been a mistake.
12:56This isn't the song I've picked.
12:57Got this!
12:58Come on!
12:59Come on!
12:59Come on, lads!
13:00Don't ask me.
13:02Oh, god.
13:04Don't you know what you're doing?
13:05He's crumbled.
13:06Goat!
13:06Goat!
13:07Don't have to tell you.
13:11I love your precious heart.
13:16I...
13:18I was standing.
13:22You were there.
13:24Come on, lads.
13:25That's a beautiful voice.
13:26Two worlds collided.
13:30Come on.
13:30And they could never tear us apart.
13:35Come on!
13:36Come on!
13:36It's loud.
13:42Take it away, son.
13:45We could live.
13:47Go ahead, lads.
13:48For a thousand years.
13:52If I hurt you.
13:56I'd make wine.
13:58From your tears.
13:59Come on!
14:00I've told you.
14:03That we could fly.
14:05Hello?
14:06How's my favourite underpaid glass collector?
14:08Faith, if you're going to ask her back to work tonight, I can't.
14:10I'm back in school.
14:11I'm not asking you to work.
14:13But I do have a special request.
14:14You said that'd be a one-time thing and that I'd never have to do it again.
14:17No.
14:17Please.
14:18I wouldn't be asking you to do that again.
14:19Have a better head for my blow-up doll.
14:21Our usual compay's got another gig, so we need someone for the drag night Thursday.
14:25What do you reckon?
14:26You want me to do it?
14:27No, knobhead.
14:28Do you know anyone?
14:29I'm messing.
14:30Of course I'm asking you.
14:32Listen, I think you've got something.
14:33When you speak, people listen.
14:35You grab their attention.
14:35It's time to stop living in the shadows and step into the lights of my stage.
14:39Now, don't you dare be funnier than me.
14:41Vivi?
14:42Are you sure?
14:43Of course I'm sure.
14:44Oh, come on, lad.
14:45What's the worst that can happen?
14:46You bomb so hard, you become a shell of a man so traumatised you never leave the house.
14:50Because I tell you what, if you do bomb, I'm never speaking to you again.
14:55Could never, ever tear us apart.
15:00Come on, lad.
15:01Come on, lad.
15:04He's having a bit now, son.
15:07What is he?
15:08Saxophone.
15:12Oh, lad.
15:13This is all because of who, y'know?
15:15Makes fun.
15:16I'm gonna make up for some lost time.
15:18Shame.
15:19He's just told me he's doing one of his own songs next, but I hate my son.
15:22That's it, lad.
15:24Everybody, come on!
15:25I, I will stand in
15:30Come on everybody!
15:32You and him, two worlds collided
15:38And they will never tear us apart
15:43Do you mean now, kid?
15:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
15:52These fucking skates
15:54Killing me with...
16:02Shit!
16:03Hello? Hello?
16:06Hi Jodie!
16:07Hi!
16:08It's Robert here from Central Liverpool Housing Association
16:11I believe you came to us via the Job Centre?
16:13Yeah, I was looking for some part-time ways to restart my career
16:19I've got a law degree, I got it in 2007
16:23I got pregnant afterwards, so I haven't really had a chance to do anything with it
16:27We were all young and foolish once, my love
16:31Just give us the ciggies, will you? I gave you 20 quid
16:34Lad, forget the ciggies
16:37You should be putting food in your mouth, you scrawny little rat
16:41This morning, honestly, I had the shit that was bigger than you
16:44Hey, you know in Africa, innit?
16:46They have a vert on the telly asking them to send food to you
16:52Pass the ciggies before you were supposed to get booted to Africa
16:58Right, lads, come on
17:00You groom bumming this little lad then, Ted Lodge, yeah?
17:03Kieran, you can't even spell the word groom
17:05Be gone
17:06Come on
17:08I told you to leave it to me, lad
17:10How the hell are you? You spell the groom?
17:11What are you doing?
17:13I didn't say I was getting them for you, did I?
17:18I know that I'm your homie
17:21I ain't just gonna let that go
17:23I agree
17:24With your underprivileged background and your experience of the many issues our clients suffer from
17:30I really think our clients are gonna connect with you
17:33Yeah
17:34I mean, I've had them all
17:37Substance abuse issues, homelessness, unemployment, domestic violence
17:42And the big crowd pleaser, mental health crises
17:44You know, I feel for women in your situation
17:48It isn't easy balancing career with issues
17:51Then you stupidly get pregnant
17:54Which only compounds your problems
17:55And you end up deeply regretting having the child
17:58As you've basically screwed up your whole career
18:01Will you wind your neck in your patronising gobshite?
18:04I don't regret anything about my life
18:06In fact, I really like it
18:08And having that boy was the best thing that could have ever happened to me
18:10Oh, and while I'm at it
18:12I live amongst these people with their so-called issues
18:15And let me tell you something for nothing
18:16With all their problems
18:18Not a one of them is as big of a delusional dickhead as you are
18:21Hey mum
18:23What are you doing?
18:25Oh, look son
18:25We've got big money problems
18:27Someone's gotta do some cam work
18:28And it's not gonna be you, is he?
18:30I see if I'd make more than you
18:31I see
18:32Mid Japan
18:33It's a big market
18:36Fuck off
18:39Who uses WhatsApp anyway, Grandad?
18:42I'm only using WhatsApp because Bebo's down
18:45Oh my god, you picture you on your moped
18:47Is that cos you hope girls will look at it and think
18:50Oh my god, will you take me for a ride?
18:53Have you finished?
18:55So, three wins together
18:56Have a pasted trial
18:59A trial to be the most annoying bellend
19:01Who happens to be great at payday?
19:03Yeah?
19:05With flying colours
19:06Get it
19:16Get a little shit
19:36Get out of here
19:37Get out of here
19:37Get out of here
20:00How are we kid?
20:03You do realise we don't have to hang around toilets for sex anymore
20:07We're accepted now
20:08I'm not having lunch today
20:09I'm allergic to fish, I had Mackey's before
20:11Don't you have?
20:12The big tasty burger
20:13That's seasonal mate, you don't have it now
20:15It's back lad
20:16Albie I know what you're doing
20:18Making apologies
20:20Saying you feel sick, smoking so you don't feel hungry
20:23Smoking was cool in the 50s, I don't blame you
20:25Lad, I've been where you are
20:27In this cubicle, is this where you're hit from the Nazis in 1943?
20:31Well they wouldn't execute you for being gay
20:33They'd execute you for being so annoying
20:39I know about that prison in your head
20:42I know about that prison's full of anxiety
20:45Anxiety when you catch a look at yourself in the mirror
20:49Anxiety when you allow yourself that one bite
20:51The constant thoughts and obsessions about food, calories, weight, BMI
20:56You should exercise more and you shouldn't have had that bite
20:59The thoughts are so exhausting that you think you just want peace
21:04You think that not waking up in the morning wouldn't be so bad
21:10I'm coming out
21:11I want the world to know
21:14Did you listen to anything I've just said?
21:16Why did you stop boxing?
21:18How do you know about that?
21:20Me cousin goes to the same club as you
21:21He says you're good but a few months ago you stopped going
21:25Why?
21:26I didn't fancy it anymore
21:27Sure mate, yeah
21:28Here's what I think
21:30You go around acting like you're the perfect gay who's got it all figured out
21:34Yet you don't think you're worthy enough to box with straight lads
21:38Seems like the almighty gay one's a big hypocrite
21:41Shut up you little prick
21:43I'm here trying to help you
21:45If I ever want to learn about how to be a weak coward who's one big fraud
21:49I'll come to you
21:50But until then
21:51Fuck off and leave me alone
21:54Fuck
22:00Hi Jodie
22:02Robbie
22:03Robert here from Central Liverpool Housing Association
22:06We'd like to offer you the job
22:08You're messing
22:09I called you a delusional dickhead
22:12Upon reflection
22:14I realised you had an empathy and open minded attitude towards our clients
22:18Which I think will be a huge asset to our office
22:22Thank you
22:24I'll take it
22:25Great
22:26Although can we not mention it to the job centre
22:28I still want to keep me benefits like
22:30I'm afraid that's illegal and I'm good
22:33You're joking aren't you
22:36Very good
22:38Congratulations
22:39Looking forward to working with you
22:41Nice one Robbie
22:44You fucking dancer
22:48Who are you on the phone to?
22:50Oh
22:50It's it
22:52Littlepeopleporncams.com
22:54Yeah
22:56Five foot one maximum
22:58No problem
23:00Bigger than two inches
23:04Definitely not
23:06Welcome to Boss Little Queers Days you know
23:09Don't worry lads
23:10If I can transform this face
23:11I hope for you too
23:13We've got a new comp hair for you this evening
23:15It's his first night so please be nice
23:18And yes I'm looking at you lads
23:21No bouncing bottles off his airtime
23:24Oh what's she doing the old prick
23:26Give it up for the gorgeous Ted Price
23:32Good evening
23:34Who's ready for a night of eleganza extravaganza
23:41I love drag queens mate
23:42Why do drag queens always have money?
23:45Why?
23:45Because she knows how to tuck her away
23:49This publess one that's dying on his arse
23:51Shut up Tedder
23:52If I wanted to wear an arse I'll speak at fart mate
23:59Hot fucking pick up
24:00We care you heard homophobic friends in the audience tonight
24:03Stand up con
24:04Come on give him a little clap
24:07Now this boy asks me hundreds of thousands of questions a day
24:11Each one more homophobic than the last
24:14What was the most recent one?
24:16Hey lads if you're gay I'll come you never come on tonight
24:18Normally I'd respond with
24:19Oh gay lads have a type
24:20Or we don't fancy every man a laugh
24:22But in this case it's because he's one right ugly fucker
24:28My friend Rhys is in the audience
24:31This boy has just been reunited with his dad face to face after 16 years
24:37Oh they're not a strange
24:38He just finally found a ladder that was big enough
24:39Oh
24:44Thank you so much everyone
24:46Thank you for having me
24:46You've been a gorgeous audience
24:49Happy Tedder
24:50You've been lucky
24:50Thanks lads
24:52I love you so much
24:53Thank you so much for having me
24:55Everybody have a hug
24:57Thank you so much for being so kind
25:00I live in the corner
25:02Watching you kiss her
25:05Whoa
25:09I keep that shit on my own
25:14Hoenners
25:24Hoenners
25:37Come on you're going to be seeing a lot more of this
25:38Give it up for the gorgeous Ted Price
25:57Clap
25:59Clap
25:59Please don't take me off, please don't take me off, just go for the gun to school, I'll stay up
26:10all night, what's that right?
26:26Ouch.
26:29I'm so sorry, I let you down.
26:34Is this heaven?
26:36Lad, you're in hospital.
26:38Almighty gay one, Ted Price, a gay heaven's doors.
26:42Please let me in.
26:45What did the doctor say?
26:46I'll be okay.
26:48So that stuff we bought on the dark web wasn't any good.
26:52I wonder what the refund policy is.
26:56I've got a confession, this is going to sound really crazy and out the blue, but I think I've got
27:02anorexia.
27:03I am blown away, lad.
27:05Really?
27:09I was 11 when it clicked I was gay.
27:12And my first thought was, you shit.
27:16Because that's how society's made us feel.
27:19Then you put this negativity on yourself and it messes up your self-esteem.
27:25Anorexia makes you believe that if you keep doing what it wants, you'll be okay.
27:31But it's a liar, very good liar, to be fair.
27:36Facing your inner demons is scary, but everything you want is on the other side of that fear.
27:44Facing your inner demons is scary, I've got better, I've got better, you will too.
27:48Another confession.
27:50I really appreciate you looking out for me.
27:54It's been my pleasure.
27:59Big hairy daddy hands, this.
28:02Excuse me, these daddy hands are here to look after you.
28:05Mum, let me fix your pillow.
28:07What are you feeling?
28:10Nurse, help.
28:11This old fella's saying he's my daddy.
28:13Making me do things I don't want to do.
28:15He's very, very sick.
28:16Get out.
28:18If как не time.
28:32You pray,ale.
28:39What do you feel?
28:39Love you.
28:39All right.
28:41Love you.
28:44Love you.
28:46Love you.
28:47Love you.
28:47With everything gone in a little
28:50Like a case
28:52Alone on a platform
28:54The wind and the rain on his head
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