- 8 minutes ago
The Trades S03E04
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TVTranscript
00:13Have you seen Chelsea?
00:15Nakamura?
00:16Chelsea!
00:18Chelsea!
00:20Chelsea!
00:23Hey!
00:24So, I think that we should try something new for the Save the Whale State.
00:27Okay, we usually do the charity golf tournament and no one complains.
00:31I know. That's because everyone finds it too boring for words.
00:34You mean you're too bored?
00:35Correct. I find it boring. I don't mind being the whistleblower here.
00:39What's your idea?
00:41Okay. Photo calendar. Our employees, but in very flattering lighting, obviously.
00:48We sell it. Boom! Money for whales.
00:51Like a firefighter calendar?
00:53Yeah. Tasteful, classy.
00:55You haven't organized anything since your dog's quinceanera.
00:58No, but I learned a lot from that.
01:00Fine. If it keeps you out of my office, off email, and away from anything that'll concuss you, I call
01:05that a win. For me.
01:06Yes. You won't regret it, Chelsea. Promise.
01:09Oh, bar is so low, Jen.
01:12I know. I know. So low.
01:14It's basically in the Earth's core, Jen.
01:16Yeah, but that's where the diamonds are made, baby.
01:23So, for our annual Save the Whales fundraiser this year, we're doing something a little outside the box.
01:29We are going to make a photo calendar that is going to showcase 12 of our employees.
01:36I'm calling it Hard Hat Hotties.
01:41This is what I came back for?
01:43I like the alliteration.
01:44Why only 12 employees?
01:46Because there's 12 months in a calendar year, genius.
01:49Oh.
01:49How is this fundraising?
01:51Whales don't care how we raise funds, Janet.
01:53They just want to swim. That's what fish do.
01:55What happened to the golf tournament?
01:57I bought a new glove and a pair of spikes.
01:59We're switching things up this year, Todd.
02:01But the golf tournament is the only day of the year we can be day drunk and get paid for
02:06it.
02:07So, we're going to unveil the cover this weekend at that janky gross bar you people love so much.
02:14Chelsea, can we get that inflatable orca set up right out front the venue?
02:18It's an inflatable whale shark, but who cares about accuracy, right?
02:22Nerd.
02:22I've done a bit of catalog work before.
02:24What kind of looks are you going for?
02:26Yeah, right. Problem.
02:28Editorial, mostly.
02:30Um, tradespeople, just doing their job, you know, but spicy.
02:34Yeah, because nothing sells calendars like Roach's sweaty ass crack, right, Jenny?
02:37Good to have you back, Homer.
02:39Are our clothes, like, on or off?
02:41On!
02:42This is a work event.
02:44You must wear proper safety gear.
02:46I mean, whales don't wear clothes, so I'm thinking, like, clothing optional?
02:50What kind of a backdoor argument is that?
02:52No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
02:54What?
02:57Everyone's clothes staying on!
02:59Let's just say that I agree to model for this.
03:03What's to stop someone from using my picture to do nasty stuff?
03:08No one is jerking off to you, Janet.
03:10Let's make that very clear right here, right now.
03:12This is about something bigger than ourselves, right?
03:16Orcas.
03:17Whale sharks.
03:17I don't care.
03:18Okay, if anyone actually wants to participate, sign the sheet.
03:22If not, no biggie.
03:23Now back to work.
03:24And remember, this is voluntary.
03:26Strongly encouraged.
03:28Voluntary.
03:29See you there.
03:30Free will.
03:31Free willy.
03:32No means no.
03:33Not really.
03:34You're my employee.
03:35I'm ready.
03:38Well, people are constantly staring at my fart blaster all day anyways.
03:41Someone ought to make some money out of it.
03:44Yeah.
03:46For the whales!
03:49What do you think, Audrey?
03:51You're going to sign up?
03:52You have such an interesting look.
03:54Like a gal who cleans her own wounds with vodka.
03:59Well, I think I'm here to be a carpenter, not a calendar model.
04:03Well, it's for charity.
04:04Well, if we were doing a raffle or a blood drive, like every other refinery, I'd show up for that.
04:09Like a blood drive for whales?
04:11What?
04:12No.
04:12For people.
04:13I didn't think that whale to human transfusions were even possible.
04:16Like, what are you picturing?
04:17A whale hooked up to, like, a giant IV?
04:20I mean, so much blood.
04:21Audrey, if you're looking to get out of this, and I fully support that, we need someone who can blow
04:25up the inflatable whale.
04:27Done.
04:27Oh, hey, she'd rather blow Shamu than get her picture taken.
04:32You like that?
04:33You can help her.
04:36Fuck.
04:39You will not pressure, coerce, or guilt anyone to participate.
04:44Fine.
04:45Totally.
04:46Done.
04:50Whales will die, Todd.
04:53Fuck, you're the G.S.
04:54If you don't do it, nobody will.
04:56Nope.
04:57I've worked here long enough and know how these things go.
05:00I'm not dropping my pants.
05:01Nobody needs to see that.
05:02What, are you worried about that whole thing there?
05:04Because we can crop it.
05:06Or, you know, we can free new elbows up.
05:08AI does amazing things now.
05:14What do you want?
05:15What?
05:16To do it.
05:17Because I'm not above bribery.
05:18I'm not above being bribed.
05:21Double time.
05:22OT meal.
05:24Buying pizza?
05:25Chicken Parmesan.
05:26Chicken Parmesan?
05:27Oh, who the fuck do we think we are?
05:29Mariah Carey?
05:30And dessert.
05:32Lava cake.
05:33You greedy little bitch.
05:39Fine.
05:40Just get them to sign up.
05:43You got it, boss.
05:48Listen up.
05:49Everybody shut up for a minute.
05:51Who wants Friday afternoon off?
05:53Double time pay?
05:55Chicken Parmesan OT meal to do this dumbass calendar.
05:58Yeah, fucking right.
05:59Chicken Parmesan for everyone?
06:01Jesus.
06:02Come on, if I'm doing this, you guys fucking are.
06:04Chicken Parm, people.
06:05Throwing some garlic balls.
06:07So this isn't the Olive Garden stuff?
06:10Fine, garlic balls.
06:11Jeez.
06:12Yo, what's up?
06:13She said garlic balls.
06:14Oh, that was my nickname in high school.
06:17Because of how it smelled.
06:18Wow.
06:19We have that full facial coupon and the free arm wax.
06:22We're in.
06:23We'll do it.
06:23Woo!
06:24Anyone else?
06:24Nice.
06:25All right, you want an Aztec and move product?
06:27Taser's your man.
06:28I see myself as Mr. April.
06:29Okay.
06:30That's what I'm talking about.
06:31Maybe even a Mr. May.
06:33I'll do it.
06:34Sign me up twice, man.
06:35Shit.
06:36Hey, twice.
06:37Screw it.
06:38Screw it.
06:38Hey.
06:39Oh, yes.
06:40What are you guys doing?
06:41Hey.
06:41Let's quit the noises.
06:42Uh, apparently I've got to do this calendar crap.
06:45Be a leader.
06:46Set an example.
06:47Blah, blah, blah.
06:48Right, right.
06:50You want tips on training or something?
06:51From you?
06:53What a joke.
06:54Look at this.
06:54It's fucking steel.
06:55Well, maybe.
06:57Really?
06:58Oh, shit.
06:59Well, I don't know.
07:00You should probably talk to Marcus about it, but first things first, you've got to lose
07:03the form in 15.
07:04Then you've got to want it, brother, and you've got to want it bad.
07:07You've got to want it more than bread.
07:08Nope.
07:08You've got to want it more than beer.
07:10Nope.
07:10You've got to want it more than joy itself.
07:11This is going to fucking suck.
07:13Yep.
07:14It will fucking suck.
07:15It's going to suck worse than the biggest, greasiest, dirtiest dick you've ever seen
07:19in your life, and you're going to suck it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
07:21Oh, yeah?
07:21Yes, and you're going to enjoy it.
07:23I'll do what it takes.
07:24Training begins now.
07:26Let's go.
07:27When he pukes, you clean it.
07:32Run up them fucking stairs like you never run up anything.
07:35You're not a fucking electrician.
07:36You're a fucking type, whatever you're going to do.
07:386 a.m. was a part of the deal, man.
07:40Now there was greatness.
07:41Now get low.
07:42Go so low, you blow your collar right out of your radius.
07:45I think I just did.
07:46Good shit yourself.
07:49Dang it.
07:50You left.
07:50You dig like you're digging in the couch for the last two bucks.
07:53There ain't no quitting you, Todd Stools.
07:55What the fuck are you doing?
07:57Get whipping!
08:03Sucker.
08:05Discipline and focus at all times.
08:08Do not eat that.
08:10You're one with hunger.
08:12Put the fuck out of him.
08:13Put your fucking back all the fucking guts out of here.
08:18Oh.
08:20Swallowed up the cymbals.
08:22Wanting what I don't need.
08:24Ugh!
08:25Your sympathy's the answer.
08:27What the fuck?
08:28You're cheating!
08:29Fuck!
08:30Good!
08:31What the fuck?
08:33Ah!
08:34You're on a chain!
08:36It was the team!
08:38It was the team!
08:38Ignite, Ignite, Ignite, Ignite.
08:39What are you talking about?
08:40Rocks, man.
08:41Rocks.
08:41Rocks.
08:42That's it.
08:43Hello, talent.
08:44What the hell is this?
08:45I hired him.
08:46He's our photographer.
08:47You hired Dewey?
08:48Uh-huh.
08:49What are his qualifications?
08:50Well, number one, he owns a camera.
08:53And yep, that is 90% of the job.
08:56Honestly, I can't even think of what the other 10% would be.
08:58So I guess that might be the whole job.
09:00Yeah, this is going to be a trademark.
09:01What are you thinking?
09:01I'm going to scout the plant, look for some shadows that hit the cement in a way that,
09:05you know, speaks to me, you know.
09:08Oh, we are going to make some magic.
09:10Yes.
09:12He's an artiste.
09:15Not like fartieste.
09:19She said she'd be here.
09:21She did throw a piece of bologna at me at the same time, so it could be.
09:24All right.
09:25Good garlic balls, Jim.
09:27Okay, you know what?
09:28How are you with props?
09:29I'm a fucking pro, Dewey.
09:31I have a friend for you.
09:35And you know what?
09:36I think he's hungry, Steph.
09:38I think he's a hungry little fella.
09:40Why don't we give him a little nibble, huh?
09:42There we go.
09:44Yeah, he's got an appetite.
09:46Oh, he likes it.
09:47Yes.
09:48Oh, yes.
09:49Very nice, Steph.
09:50Yeah, oh, he's a hungry little boy.
09:52He appreciates it, Steph.
09:54Okay, this is fucking stupid.
09:55I'm done.
09:58Chicken puns.
10:01You didn't want to eat that after the shoot, Roach?
10:05No, I'm good, man.
10:07Okay, I can do this.
10:08I can do this.
10:08Yeah.
10:09Okay.
10:09Okay.
10:10Okay, I need you to focus, though, Roach.
10:12I need you to focus, okay?
10:14Not on the perm, on me.
10:18Okay, this is how they do in the magazine.
10:20Probably.
10:21I think.
10:21I read it once.
10:22I've got to show off my new nails.
10:24So these are new.
10:25Catch those.
10:25Mine are cute, too.
10:26Okay.
10:27There's something.
10:28Zooming in.
10:28I'm zooming in, lady.
10:29That's it.
10:30Okay.
10:30Big mama.
10:31Big mama.
10:31Big mama.
10:32Oh, my God.
10:33Yeah?
10:33I want you to open that big mama booty cover.
10:36Big mama booty.
10:38Big mama booty.
10:39Big mama booty.
10:40That's it.
10:41That's the shot.
10:42Yeah.
10:42There's old Darth Welder in the house.
10:44Oh, I'm feeling some sparks down south of this weld band.
10:47Are you sure that you have never done this before?
10:51Because...
10:51I got more gas in the tank.
10:53I want to give you guys some options.
10:55We like options.
10:56Okay, what if I, uh, wear my welding helmet on my junk like this until I imply danger?
11:02Someone's got some skin in the game.
11:04Ooh, we're going to go that route, Taze.
11:06I think we need to pop a button.
11:08Ooh.
11:08Ooh, okay.
11:09We're just going to do a little fist, a little shushing.
11:12Taze with the blaze.
11:13There we go.
11:14Oh, but Taze, I think we've got to have to see the hair flowing.
11:17Show me that mane.
11:18Oh, yeah.
11:19You're a warrior.
11:20Time to do art.
11:22Steve.
11:24Here we go.
11:26Grinders!
11:27Ooh!
11:28Yeah.
11:29Ah!
11:30Turn up!
11:31Oh!
11:32Hey!
11:33Beautiful, Taze.
11:35Great wall!
11:36Yeah!
11:38Okay.
11:40Nice.
11:41Yeah?
11:42Okay.
11:43Nice.
11:44Now, if you could just pop that belt open, give us a little summer tease.
11:48What?
11:48My pants?
11:49Why?
11:50Crack it open a little bit, you know?
11:52You're Mr. July.
11:52It's supposed to be hot outside, right?
11:54Give us a little humidex, you know?
11:56I know this was going to be those kind of pictures.
11:59Hey!
12:00Oh, fuck.
12:01Here comes the pants patrol.
12:02You cannot, under any circumstance, pressure an employee to take off his clothes.
12:07Look, you trusted me to run this fundraiser, so just let me.
12:11We are not making anyone uncomfortable, right, Marcus?
12:15Marcus, you're fine, right?
12:17Tell Chelsea that you're fine.
12:19He's not going to tell you the truth.
12:20You're the boss.
12:21You don't get the power dynamic at play here.
12:23Marcus, has Ms. Conk or Dewey done anything at this company event to make you feel uncomfortable?
12:30Well, money's hurt, and I don't love that my aunt's definitely going to see this, but it's been fine.
12:37See, you can't fake that kind of praise.
12:39Up to you, Marcus.
12:41Yeah.
12:42Up to you, Marcus.
12:44It's a bit chilly.
12:46I'm going to head in for a snack.
12:47Is that okay?
12:49Come on down.
12:50You know, Taser didn't mind the breeze.
12:53He said it makes his nipples pop.
12:55Huh?
12:55That's a profession.
12:56Watch it, Dewey.
12:57I can't fire her, but I can fire you.
12:59Just three higher you.
13:00I heard that.
13:02Finally!
13:03A safe space again!
13:05Now, just walk in, Judge.
13:07That's helpful.
13:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
13:12Perfect.
13:13But take it off.
13:15Are we waiting for anybody else, or?
13:17Just you and me, team blowhole.
13:19Yeah.
13:20Yeah, we've been entrusted with the great honor of blowing this bad boy up.
13:23Yeah, in here.
13:24You want to haul this outside and blow it?
13:26No, Audrey, I don't want to fucking do this anywhere.
13:28It's stupid, it's a lame-ass, giant-ass pool toy.
13:32I've got so much other shit I'd rather and can be doing, so...
13:35Oh, yeah, like what?
13:37Doomscrolling?
13:38Ghosting people?
13:39Calling your mom?
13:40I love my mom.
13:41This is what's wrong with your generation.
13:43Loving my mom?
13:44Yeah.
13:45Yeah, no, because you think you're above this task.
13:47Fuck, who isn't?
13:48Get blowin'.
13:49Clock hits four, I hit the door.
13:53You're just gonna stand there?
13:54Blow it or suck it, whatever your preference.
13:55Yeah, get your hair dryer.
13:57I miss Jimmy already.
14:00Appreciate you, bro, I feel good.
14:02Good.
14:03I mean, you still look like a piece of shit, but you did everything you could.
14:05What?
14:07Psst.
14:10Boys ever heard of smizing?
14:12No one has heard of smizing, Homer.
14:14What the fuck is it?
14:14Do I got an apprentice for it?
14:16Smizing?
14:17It's when you smile with your eyes, but not your mouth.
14:21Smile with your whole face?
14:22That's amateur clown shit.
14:25Behold.
14:27There's no fucking witness this fucking shit.
14:34Are you fucking with us, Homer, or...?
14:36No.
14:37I did some modeling as a child.
14:39Bullshit.
14:39I was the face of a major soda pop brand.
14:42You guys remember the, uh, Chug It Kid?
14:45Shut up!
14:45No fucking way.
14:46That's you?
14:46No way.
14:47Show us.
14:47Oh my God, do it right now!
14:48No way.
14:49Do it, Homer.
14:49Do it, Homer.
14:49I did years of therapy to get over that, okay?
14:51Do it.
14:51I can't do it.
14:52Do it or you're fired again.
14:54Ch-ch-ch-chug it!
14:57That is awesome!
14:58That was you!
14:59I did billboards, bus stops, even did a short run of urinal cakes, but parents didn't think
15:05it was appropriate to be pissing on a child's face.
15:08Teach me, Homer.
15:09Teach him.
15:09This is a different life.
15:11Different times.
15:13Fucking don't turn your back on us now, Homer.
15:15I gave it all up for the glitz and glamour of Weldon, boys.
15:20Chug It Kid.
15:21All right, I'll help.
15:22Listen up.
15:23Yes.
15:24You gotta seduce the camera.
15:26How?
15:27Always be moving them.
15:28Get the legs in.
15:29Loosen them.
15:30Yes, Todd, come on, get moving.
15:31Get moving, Ed.
15:32Yes.
15:32You wanna give the camera different facial expressions, okay?
15:34Yes.
15:35That's not with a smile.
15:36With your teeth.
15:37Smile, Todd.
15:38Show up those pearly whites.
15:39Come on.
15:40Yes!
15:40You're happy.
15:41But then, but wait a minute.
15:43Who died?
15:44Who died?
15:45Everyone.
15:46Oh, sad face.
15:47Everyone died, Todd.
15:48You look high.
15:49But wait, what do you see out there?
15:50Is that your best friend fucking your...
15:54Cousin?
15:54No, no, it's your cousin Greg.
15:57Your best friend.
15:58Look at him.
15:58Fucking your cousin Greg.
16:00You're mad at him, Todd.
16:01Not me.
16:01Greg.
16:02Well, wait.
16:03What's that in the distance?
16:04Huh?
16:04Over here, Todd.
16:05Huh?
16:05What is it?
16:06No, like, towards me.
16:07Right there.
16:08There it is.
16:08It's a 12-point elk.
16:10Ooh.
16:11You reach back.
16:12Ooh.
16:13Clobber it.
16:13No, you're not gonna clobber it.
16:14No, you're gonna...
16:15You're gonna...
16:15You've got a quiver of arrows.
16:17You're a sexy-ass hunter.
16:18So you're gonna draw the arrow.
16:22And then...
16:23Load the bow.
16:25And then...
16:26Fire.
16:27Oh!
16:28What just fell?
16:29The elk.
16:30Drop the peach.
16:31Get down.
16:32Grab the peach, Todd.
16:33Get your ass up.
16:34Ass up.
16:34Jiggle the ass.
16:35Jiggle the ass.
16:36And look at me, Todd.
16:37I want eye contact.
16:38Flex it.
16:39Down the dog.
16:40I can't do this.
16:41I should never agree to this shit.
16:42What?
16:42Just calm down.
16:43Listen, the man is fucking hangry.
16:44He hasn't eaten anything in goddamn 3D.
16:46Whoa, whoa, whoa.
16:47Hey!
16:47Are you fucking high?
16:49You can't eat before a shoot.
16:50You're gonna blow like a blowfish.
16:51Showtime, dude.
16:52Oh, my sakes.
16:53My lights are hot.
16:54Are you boys ready?
16:55No!
16:56You're ready.
16:56That was perfect.
16:57Greatest first lesson I've ever had.
16:58Get out there.
16:59Get out there.
17:00You will never be more ready.
17:01How much money did you make doing those commercials?
17:03None.
17:04My mom owns an island in Belize.
17:11Yeah.
17:11Uh, this is gonna take fucking forever.
17:15Yes, it is.
17:16Which is why we have mandatory breaks.
17:19What the hell happened to all that?
17:20Oh, this is what's wrong with your generation bullshit.
17:23You're normally like two years younger than you, right?
17:25Really?
17:26I thought you just had your 13th birthday last month.
17:31Seniority means I nap first.
17:33Good night.
17:37Fuck.
17:38Shit.
17:42Oh, yeah.
17:43In a safe space, toddler.
17:45Your lighting's garbage.
17:46Everyone's gonna look like they got fucking jaundice.
17:49Are you telling me how to do my job?
17:52No, Dewey.
17:53I'm telling you how to not ruin a good photo.
17:56Hey, chop chop, boys.
17:57Time is money.
17:58I have just the inspiration for this.
18:00Bend the joints.
18:01Bend the joints, Todd.
18:02There you go.
18:03Yeah, all right.
18:03Go down.
18:04Over the shoulder, Todd.
18:05No, no.
18:06Towards the camera.
18:07Smart boy.
18:08Yeah.
18:09There you go.
18:09Chin up.
18:10Use the strap.
18:10Smart boy.
18:11Awesome.
18:11You like that, dude?
18:13Now look.
18:14On the ground in front of you.
18:15There's that same old peach.
18:17You remember that peach, Todd.
18:18Grab that peach.
18:19Grab the peach.
18:19Yeah, I remember that peach.
18:20Grab the peach.
18:20Yeah, take a bite.
18:26Oh, wait.
18:27Oh, gross.
18:28There you go.
18:29What's that white substance?
18:30Oh, no.
18:31A deer was using it as a cum rag.
18:33Throw that peach away.
18:34Throw it away.
18:34Gross.
18:35Wait.
18:35There's something wrong.
18:36Your body.
18:37It's shaking.
18:38That was cursed cum.
18:42All of a sudden, your hands are hooves.
18:44Glorious hooves.
18:45You're a majestic steed.
18:47I want to hear you nay, Todd.
18:48Nay.
18:49Yeah.
18:50Nay.
18:51Water.
18:53Whoa.
18:54The lid is blowing in your hair.
18:56And then you see it ahead of you.
18:57There's the L.
18:58You remember the elk, Todd.
18:59You missed it last time, didn't you?
19:00Now reach back.
19:02Flex.
19:03Pull up the arrow.
19:04Good.
19:05And blow the bow.
19:07Yeah.
19:07Chin up.
19:09Pluck.
19:14What the fuck?
19:16Cricket?
19:16Are you there?
19:17Hold on, buddy.
19:18Look at it.
19:19And release.
19:21Bam.
19:22You got it.
19:23Boss.
19:24Boss man.
19:26Oh.
19:26There's my December.
19:28What the fuck?
19:29Cricket.
19:29Oh, good work, kid.
19:34Woo!
19:37Okay, guys.
19:38It is time to reveal our calendar.
19:42Some people said that my idea was unprofessional and that it, uh, blurred ethical lines.
19:48You'll see.
19:49I'm not wrong.
19:49Because it wasn't, it did.
19:51To me, this has always just been about hope.
19:54You know, for us and for our animal friends, from the mammals to the whales.
19:59So, let's raise a glass, open our wallets, and remember that for every calendar that you buy, an orca is
20:09so thankful and probably releases one of those cloudy white squirts.
20:15I mean, we're not going to see it because it happens underwater, but it's, uh, it's happening.
20:20Okay, stop.
20:23Sorry.
20:23Okay.
20:24All right, let's go.
20:26Nice.
20:27Oh, nice work.
20:29Oh, Stephanie.
20:32Oh, my God.
20:34Oh, my God.
20:34Remember?
20:35I don't remember posing with a dire wolf.
20:37Okay, moving on to February.
20:41Oh, my God.
20:42I'd date me.
20:43You're such snacks.
20:44Remember, Big Mama?
20:46It's payday, Team Con.
20:47Let's open up Big Mama.
20:49I got a cat for somebody with that bad boy.
20:50Looking good, Bert.
20:52Oh, Janet.
20:53Nice duck face, Janet.
20:54Nice fuck face, Homer.
20:57You are my Victorian duckling, Janet.
20:59That's weird.
21:00Moving on.
21:01Nice one, Janet.
21:03Mark it.
21:04Betty in Photoshop.
21:05That's right, it ain't.
21:07I got you, bro.
21:08Appreciate it.
21:08And?
21:09Hey, that looks like me, man.
21:11That is you, bro.
21:12That is you.
21:13I had to paint out all the tomato sauce on your face.
21:16Kind of looks like my uncle, too.
21:17No, Malone.
21:19Oh.
21:19Looks like Cousin Greg.
21:20Oh, the fucking Dewey.
21:22I was supposed to be a werewolf.
21:23I need way more fucking hair than that.
21:25No, this is the amount of hair we agreed on.
21:27Not at all.
21:27Enough more hair on my right ball.
21:30And?
21:30Moving on.
21:33It's Mr. June.
21:34What the hell is that?
21:35What the fuck?
21:36Stoolie's got a horse body and a giant horse cock?
21:38Centaur.
21:39Get it right.
21:40And I gave Todd actual abs.
21:42Oh, I don't need to see that.
21:43My work speaks for itself.
21:44Fucking weird Jewish man.
21:47A little early again, Janet.
21:49Oh.
21:50All right.
21:50So our cover model for the first annual calendar is Janet.
21:56What?
21:57Okay.
21:58No.
21:59No, Janet.
22:00Now is the time to do the drum roll.
22:03Oh.
22:04Great.
22:05All right.
22:11Whoa!
22:12That's me!
22:13Oh!
22:14Yeah!
22:14This is terrible.
22:15Fuck this.
22:16We skipped wing night for this?
22:18I gotta get another fucking drink.
22:21Go get it.
22:22Go get it.
22:23Fernie.
22:24Beer me.
22:25Now.
22:26Oh my God, Stool.
22:27I'd say your abs went on vacation.
22:30Didn't leave a note.
22:31Fuck our phone.
22:32When was the last time you did a sit-up?
22:33Accepting your past your prime is half the battle.
22:36Yeah?
22:36You sure you've accepted it?
22:38Yeah.
22:39Yeah, I fucking accepted it.
22:41And you can accept this.
22:43Happy to sign up for you, too.
22:44I'm good.
22:44Dear dickhead, go fuck you.
22:47Guess I could use it to wipe my ass.
22:48Hey.
22:49Hey.
22:49I think you look great, by the way.
22:50Oh, thanks.
22:52I thought you looked good, too.
22:53What'd you think of the horse cock?
22:54Oh, yeah, not a fan, but my friend might be.
22:56Get over here, you.
22:57Really?
22:57Yeah.
22:58Hi.
22:58Hello, LaRue.
22:59She knows your dipshit, but she's into that.
23:01Thanks for that.
23:02Yeah, no sweat.
23:02I guess I kind of am.
23:04What up, horse cock?
23:05What's up, werewolf man?
23:06Hey, show me this calendar.
23:07I don't have enough hair, but I actually think I look pretty good.
23:09Me, too.
23:10It's smooth and sexy.
23:11You look great.
23:13Oh.
23:16Real funny.
23:17Two slags, please.
23:22You're going to have to tell Todd eventually
23:23that you're hooking up with a werewolf.
23:28I mean, do I?
23:29It just sucks.
23:36We've only sold 15 of these,
23:38and Fernie, the bartender, bought three of them.
23:41Yeah, I know, but you're not factoring in word of mouth,
23:45friends and family, bribes.
23:47No one's going to buy this thing, Jen.
23:49Fine.
23:50What are you doing?
23:51I don't know.
23:54How many orcas does 20 grand save?
23:57Okay, you can't just make this out to Wales.
24:00Why not?
24:01Plus, you spelled it wrong.
24:02That's the country.
24:03Fun night, ladies.
24:05Anyone going to eat this?
24:06It's going to spoil.
24:07If not, I'm taking it.
24:08That would be a show.
24:09All you are.
24:09If you have to pay for the calendar.
24:10It's our fee!
24:12See?
24:13They had a great night.
24:16All right, Chelsea, let's not forget that Conk is my company.
24:20Okay?
24:21Get your own show.
24:25Wales again.
24:34Working hard, boys?
24:35There he is.
24:36Last week was a write-off.
24:37We've got to double time it.
24:38Oh, check it out.
24:39It's cock o'clock.
24:41Jago Rhoads with the penis pipe.
24:43Hello, little forest animals.
24:44Would you like to smoke some cock?
24:46Backwards with the hammer cocks?
24:48You're getting rained on by a couple whale cocks.
24:50Anyone know who drew these?
24:51Janet.
24:52I think she's only ever seen one dick.
24:54What a waste of time this was.
24:56What are you talking about?
24:58Dewey gave you a stellar AI horse cock and Janet gave you another.
25:01Yeah, double dicker.
25:02Those cockulos.
25:03Multi-cock.
25:03One for pleasure, one for pissing.
25:05All right, back to work, you fucks.
25:07Cock-a-saurus rex.
25:08I need this.
25:13Cute.
25:39What the fuck, Dewey?
25:41This is me.
25:42It's me.
25:43You do not have a food that big.
25:45The artiste can be the subject too, you know.
25:47You think you're the ghost?
25:48This is a dormant beast within me for years.
25:50A beautiful, beautiful goat boy.
25:52You should have stayed dormant.
25:53Really, this is almost your last chance to get one of these.
25:57Uh, well, what about this?
25:58What about this?
25:59I have these amazing calendars.
26:01As you can see, it's me.
26:02And I have a huge penis, which is very much like the real thing.
26:05Just saying, okay?
26:07So, are you interested?
26:09It's called life.
26:10You get up and grind.
26:12Dollar ain't worth it if you ain't got the time.
26:15To kick back with a 12-pack.
26:17And a few good friends at County Line Crip.
26:20Drive too fast or down a little hard.
26:23But come Sunday, we're praying to the Lord.
26:26And I'll work, work, work to do it all again.
26:31It's called life.
26:32Gone in a minute.
26:33Don't close your eyes cause you blink and you miss it.
26:36It's called life.
26:38Gone in a minute.
26:39Hell in a minute.
26:40Ah!
26:43Oh!
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