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00:00Wowie-woo-wah.
00:01On today's show...
00:02Yes!
00:03Loose limbs!
00:04I call my lucky arms.
00:06I think it's OK, but I suggest it just checks with the doctor.
00:11Dazzling dancing!
00:13I'm impressed, Joe! Seen a different cycler!
00:15Raver Joe was probably the best thing I have ever seen.
00:20And nitpicking noshers!
00:21So it should be perfectly al dente.
00:24It's OK.
00:25Woo-hoo!
00:26They were stuck together and it was all sadly entangled.
00:30As five chowhounds clash for a cloche of cash.
00:34Pretty rich in the house.
00:42It's day four of the competition in the West Country,
00:45birthplace of trip-hop legends, Massive Attack.
00:50And hoping for some divine intervention tonight
00:53is our fourth host, Richard.
00:54This is going to be my night, my house, my rules.
00:58Me, the centre of attention for a change.
01:00Absolutely ready to rock it tonight, so let's go.
01:02Feisty!
01:03Yamas!
01:04The week kicked off with globetrotting Kirstein's Greek-inspired evening.
01:08I'm still really impressed with my night
01:11because I think my night's the best so far
01:13and it's been the most fun.
01:15We need to go Greek.
01:17Hey! Hey! Hey!
01:18But spiritualist Joe's candid comments landed her in the doghouse.
01:22I thought it looked like dog food. I'm really sorry.
01:25Oh!
01:26You're going to make me think that it's dog food now, Anna Canoica.
01:29No. No, no, no.
01:29No, please don't think it's a dog food.
01:31No, I don't...
01:32I'm not saying it is.
01:34I think it offended other people more than me,
01:37even though it was my cooking.
01:38Let's have a great night.
01:40Yeah!
01:40Cheers!
01:40Tuesday saw Neapolitan Pepe push the boat out
01:44with some proper Italian grub.
01:46Some nice lasagna.
01:48We had such a fun time.
01:50I had such a lovely comment from the guest, too.
01:53The reason I don't like Italian food
01:55is that I don't like pasta,
01:56but the filling is amazing.
01:59Oh, thank you very much.
02:00And Joe's canine comments came back to bite up.
02:03I never said a food was dog food.
02:04I said it looked like...
02:06That is calling a food dog food.
02:07It's not, sorry.
02:08Only I can know what I meant.
02:10I enjoyed Pepe's night until the friction.
02:13Ew!
02:14Then on Natalia's 90s night,
02:16the pair came to blows.
02:18Are you holding a grudge because I said that?
02:20No, I just stated...
02:22I'm honest, I'm up front.
02:23I just stated that was rude.
02:24It was very, very, very tense.
02:26All right, guys, that's at the point I leave
02:29because I've had enough of that, all right?
02:30I don't like awkwardness
02:32and I didn't enjoy last night at all.
02:34Coupled with crumbling cake,
02:36I wouldn't serve that to any guest,
02:38let alone me dog.
02:39The night ended in pieces.
02:41I think it is going to be
02:42between Rich and Pepe, to be honest.
02:45Fair point.
02:46Pepe's out in front with a healthy 27 out of 40,
02:49so it's all to play for.
02:54Having seen what we've had so far,
02:56I'm hoping that my menu this evening
02:58is a little bit of a cut above,
03:00but we haven't got to the end of the week yet.
03:01We certainly have not,
03:03but everyone's expecting big things from Richard tonight.
03:05I think he's a bit of a perfectionist,
03:07so he's going to want everything right,
03:09and if it goes wrong,
03:11I don't think he'll be very happy.
03:13I think Rich is quite competitive.
03:16He's got his eye on the prize,
03:17and I think he's probably going to nail it,
03:20to be honest.
03:20Because he cares so much,
03:22I think he's going to be doing us some quality food,
03:24which I look forward to.
03:26What's for dinner then, Dickie?
03:28This evening, I'm hoping we're going to have
03:29some really top-notch gastro, bistro pub,
03:32really delicious British food.
03:34Kicking off with a classic British dessert,
03:36eat and mess with shortbread.
03:40I don't know what the eat on mess means.
03:43Does it mean it's going to look a mess?
03:44I think this could be really good.
03:46Too trifle-y,
03:47and it just becomes children's party food.
03:49Done well, and we've got fine cuisine.
03:52Excellent, Richard.
03:53I think making a meringue is easy,
03:55to be honest.
03:56Even I can do that.
03:57I've been practising,
03:58and I'm pretty sure that they'll be OK.
04:00Best get cracking.
04:02Only egg white can go in here.
04:03If there's any bit of yolk in there,
04:04it'll mess it up completely,
04:05so you have to be really careful.
04:08Gently does it.
04:10Oh, that's it.
04:11Screwed it.
04:12Oh!
04:12So, it's got to go in the bin.
04:14Because he's very organised,
04:16and he knows how to follow the structure
04:18step by step,
04:19he may have some nice food for us.
04:21Meringue mix back on track.
04:23Oddly.
04:24In goes sugar.
04:25Because my dad's the master chef,
04:28the patisserie maker,
04:29I'm just going to take a picture of my dad,
04:30just so he can see you.
04:31Hopefully, I'll be doing him proud.
04:33Surely.
04:34Let's test those stiff peaks.
04:37Ta-da!
04:39And they're in to bake.
04:40And bottom there.
04:42Don't let me down.
04:44Oh, I wonder if he's actually made the shortbread.
04:47He's certainly giving it a go.
04:48I think it's mixed with flour and butter and sugar,
04:52so I don't think it's very, very difficult to do, huh?
04:56This is all about different textures,
04:58and my mum's always told me
04:59to make sure that you've got some different crunchy textures
05:01through something nice and soft and whipped,
05:03like an eating mess,
05:04so hopefully I'll do her proud.
05:05Mum and Dad to please.
05:07Meringue check.
05:08They are going to be amazing.
05:10I can't wait to smash them up later.
05:14Top shortbread tip, please.
05:15I've got a little trick here.
05:18Barbecue spatula.
05:19Nice one.
05:21There we go, my little beauties.
05:22Bake for me.
05:24Next up, the starter.
05:26Garlic and cheddar stuffed portobello mushroom
05:28with black pudding.
05:31Black pudding.
05:32Mm, OK.
05:33Quite liking the sound of that.
05:35It depends if it's homemade black pudding,
05:37if it is good luck to him.
05:39I'd like there to be plenty of garlic
05:41and lashings of cheddar cheese.
05:45So, garlic.
05:49Garlic giving you jib.
05:52I'm mirroring Gordon Ramsay, really.
05:55Trying to look like I know what I'm doing,
05:57but probably being really clumsy.
06:00Not sure he'd be very happy with that comparison.
06:02The garlic joins oil, breadcrumbs, butter
06:06and a load of lemon zest.
06:08The zest will bring a really nice zing to this mix.
06:11Hopefully, this will dazzle my guests later on.
06:14How dazzling is it at the moment?
06:17Delicious.
06:18Mm.
06:26Look at these bad boys.
06:28What an absolute winning starter right there.
06:29They'll head for a grilling this evening.
06:32Last on Richard's British menu,
06:34something Italian.
06:35Corn-fed chicken breast with pancetta
06:37and chestnut mushroom tagliatelle.
06:40No more Italian food, please.
06:44No pasta.
06:46A potato would be nice.
06:49I hope it's not like pasta that you throw
06:51and stay on the wall, you know,
06:53like this really sticky pasta.
06:55I'm not making my own pasta.
06:56It's the only thing I'm not making tonight.
06:58I haven't got a machine.
06:58I can't roll it out.
06:59I would be rubbish at it.
07:00So, we're having some fresh pasta
07:02and I'm hoping that everybody can forgive me
07:04for that little indiscretion.
07:06Maybe not pepe.
07:07And it's on to the garlic bread.
07:09I know we've already had that this week,
07:11but hopefully I can show that little Italian
07:12how garlic bread actually should be made.
07:14The dough's whipped up.
07:16Nice and glossy.
07:17And left to rest.
07:19There's an element of what I would call finesse here.
07:23We need that this time in the week.
07:25This menu is totally rich.
07:26I read the menu and I can see his face inside.
07:29Smells lovely.
07:30For the sauce, pancetta's popped in.
07:33Well, most of it.
07:34Those pigs escaped.
07:37Smells good, doesn't it?
07:38Not bad.
07:39Think it might be time to add those mushrooms, though.
07:41The chestnut ones.
07:43That's it.
07:43I'm hoping Pepe's going to like this.
07:45This is Trebbiano.
07:46This is an Italian white,
07:46so always use good wine in your cooking.
07:49I think he's talking to you, Pepe.
07:52Any good?
07:53Lovely.
07:54Terrific.
07:55Posh plonk sloshed in.
07:57The sauce is thickened and left to sizzle.
07:59So, what would Mummy make of it?
08:01I think Mum would like this.
08:03She's not Italian,
08:04but I'm sure she couldn't find any fault with this.
08:06Oh!
08:07And the chef's verdict?
08:09Oh, fantastic.
08:11Fantastic.
08:13More wine.
08:16Do you know what?
08:17That is lovely, actually.
08:19Chef's perks, innit?
08:20Sorry to disturb the drinking,
08:22but how's the dough looking?
08:23Look at that!
08:26I can't wait for Pepe to try this.
08:28It's in to bake,
08:29and the prep is all done.
08:32Now for the competition.
08:34Pepe, I think, might be in the lead at the moment,
08:35but I'm going to show that Italian stallion
08:37how things are done.
08:38This is just a posh menu
08:40done for impress,
08:41but it's not passioning.
08:44I do think his evening is going to be really good.
08:46I think he's going to pull out all the stops
08:47and be a little bit bougie.
08:49It is Richard all over, definitely,
08:51and let's see if he can bring the goods to the table.
08:54It's time to find out.
08:56Good vibes only tonight.
08:58Yep, the door's just over there.
09:00Ah, here's Joe.
09:02Hey!
09:03Hello!
09:03Nice to see you.
09:04Come on in, come on in.
09:05Could you take my wrap for me?
09:06Yeah, of course.
09:07I'd be a gent.
09:08Yeah, absolutely.
09:09You look stunning.
09:10Have some champagne.
09:12Ooh, actually, could I have my wrap back?
09:14You may, yes, absolutely.
09:15Let me redress you.
09:17Make your mind up.
09:17We're at the red way.
09:18OK.
09:18Lovely, sweetheart.
09:20All right.
09:20Thank you, darling.
09:21Have I impressed you?
09:22In terms of the outfit,
09:24yeah, I've never been disappointed with them.
09:27Very diplomatic.
09:28Ah, that's lovely.
09:29Thank you, sweetheart.
09:30That's nice.
09:31You're welcome.
09:32Next up, it's Pepe.
09:33Oh, my God, what are we here?
09:37Prince Pepe from Italy.
09:39Oh, enchanted to meet you, sir.
09:42Oh, if I can.
09:45Small.
09:45Monte bene.
09:47Here's Kirstine.
09:49Hello.
09:50Good to see you.
09:51Come on in.
09:52Here's Prince Pepe.
09:54Prince Pepe.
09:55Hey, you look beautiful.
09:58Oh, thank you.
10:03All right, darling.
10:04Oh, my poggess.
10:06How are you?
10:08Sorry. Lastly, Natalia. Hello, gorgeous.
10:12How are you? Look at you.
10:13Look at you. Oh, and my lady.
10:18You look very handsome, my lovely lady.
10:20Yeah, I'm your king. Are you going to be my queen tonight?
10:22Of course. Of course.
10:24What are we, bloody ugly sisters?
10:26No, we're the princess.
10:27Here's to a knockout night.
10:29Without any fighting. Cheers.
10:32Coming up, astonishing anecdotes.
10:34My legal first name is Lady Natalia.
10:40I often call myself Lady Joanna.
10:42Joe is one of those sort of people that if you've done it,
10:45she's done it five times better than you.
10:46And Huffy hosting.
10:48Do I need to put a biscuit inside like...
10:50You can do whatever you like, sweetheart.
10:52Can we just stop the questions now and enjoy it?
11:01It's day four in the West Country.
11:03Cheers!
11:04Where self-proclaimed cuisine connoisseur Richard
11:07is hoping to knock the socks off the competition
11:09and bag himself the £1,000 prize.
11:12How's that black pudding?
11:14Smelling great. Just like me.
11:17I was about to say.
11:19Ah, fantastic. Some golden brown.
11:23Looks like a seagull's gone to town on your mushrooms.
11:26Wow-ee-woo-wah. Look at that.
11:28What are you sculpting there, then?
11:31A little bird's nest of rocket. That's the idea, anyway.
11:33It's working!
11:35If they're not impressed with these, they're going to be nuts, aren't they?
11:38Stuffed portobello mushroom and black pudding.
11:41Oh, wow.
11:42OK.
11:45Oh, look at that.
11:48Thoughts, anyone?
11:50I'm half Scottish.
11:51Oh.
11:52Yeah, so I've grown up eating a lot of black pudding.
11:54And I actually really like it.
11:57Fantastic.
11:58I was worried.
11:58Not everybody does enjoy it, do they?
12:00Oh, I love that.
12:01As long as you don't think about what's in it.
12:04Is it what's in it?
12:05Brace yourself.
12:06It's made with pig's blood.
12:07Oh.
12:09Straight from the animal.
12:11Absolutely delicious.
12:12Mmm.
12:12Keep it down.
12:14It's good.
12:16The portobello are be small.
12:18Usually they are big.
12:20The first thing I got is a taste of something really astringent.
12:23It's not garlic.
12:24Is there lemon in there?
12:25There is, yeah.
12:26There's some lemon zest in there, actually.
12:27Ah, lemon.
12:28But I think it's covered a little bit of the flavour.
12:31I would disagree.
12:32It didn't cover it.
12:33It was there just giving you that zing.
12:36I didn't taste the garlic.
12:38I didn't taste the cheddar.
12:39I tasted the lemon.
12:41So one of the things you also don't know about me
12:44is I'm an aromatherapist.
12:46So I love flavours.
12:47I love cooking with herbs as an aromatherapist.
12:49Joe, for God's sake.
12:50It's like, it's not just about you.
12:52It seems to be like every evening she's got a new profession
12:56that she brings to the table.
12:57Anyone else?
12:58My legal first name is Lady Natalia.
13:04Oh, really?
13:05That's my legal name.
13:06I like it.
13:08Is that for real?
13:09Yeah.
13:09In my passport, my first name is Lady.
13:12Good on you.
13:12Wow.
13:13Why?
13:13I thought it would be really funny because I'm never technically
13:16going to be a lady.
13:17I often call myself Lady Joanna.
13:19Do you?
13:20If when I go to somewhere a little bit more upper class
13:23and I have to introduce myself, I say it's Lady Joanna.
13:27Very regal.
13:29Jo is one of those sort of people that if you've done it,
13:31she's done it five times better than you.
13:33I do cut the mustard when it comes to a little bit of elegance
13:36and finesse.
13:37Maybe it was the way I was brought up.
13:39Maybe it's all the culture of the years I've had in the arts.
13:42Could be either.
13:42Moving on.
13:44Something I didn't tell you guys.
13:46I have a lucky arm.
13:48A lucky arm?
13:49Yeah, yeah.
13:50I'll show you.
13:50Can I show you?
13:52Oh.
13:52Yeah.
13:53This is my lucky arm.
13:54Yeah, yeah.
13:55I call my lucky arms.
13:57I think he's okay, but I suggest he just checks with the doctor.
14:02Don't tell me you're one of those two.
14:05Oh, can you hear that?
14:07Yes, that did not sound great.
14:08I think the starter was executed pretty well.
14:11I'm not going to count my chickens just yet.
14:12Probably wise.
14:14Chicken searing, the garlic butter's whipped up.
14:18That's smelling pretty garlic-o.
14:20I think that's fit for Pepe.
14:21Jolly good.
14:21And they're in to grill.
14:24Chop-bought pasta goes on to boil.
14:26Usually I like my pasta al dente, but typically with dinner guests
14:30you do it slightly longer so it's better cooked,
14:32and then they actually can't complain about it being raw.
14:34But we've got an Italian at the table, so al dente it is.
14:38Pepe will be pleased.
14:40You happy?
14:42Perfect.
14:43The main's good to go.
14:45Chicken with pancetta and mushroom tagliatelle and garlic bread.
14:50Ooh.
14:51Wow.
14:51Oh, wow.
14:52That's good.
14:54Oh, look at that.
14:56Even I want a photograph of that.
14:58I've got a question for you.
14:59Go on.
15:00How did you cook the pasta?
15:02Three minutes in the pan, boiling water, bit of salt, that's it.
15:05No oil.
15:06Boil the water first and then add the pasta.
15:09So it should be...
15:10That's good.
15:10Timed it with a timer.
15:11So it should be perfectly al dente.
15:16Perfect pasta, Prince Pepe?
15:19It's okay.
15:23I want to know from Kirstine that she don't like the pasta.
15:28What does she think?
15:30Can we convert you, Kirstine?
15:33No rush.
15:36Take your time, Kirstine.
15:39All right.
15:40So, Kirstine...
15:41It's very cheesy.
15:44Erm...
15:45And?
15:46Yeah, no, it's lovely.
15:49No.
15:50You're not fooling anyone.
15:51I don't like pasta!
15:53The pasta was not up to my standard.
15:57It was not al dente.
15:58It was stuck together and it was all sadly entangled.
16:02It didn't have that lovely, voluptuous movement apart.
16:07I'm doing my happy dance.
16:09I only do a happy dance.
16:11When I'm happy.
16:14Funny that.
16:15The chicken was really nice.
16:17Really flavoursome.
16:18Did you make the garlic bread?
16:20Yeah.
16:21Yeah, I did.
16:21From scratch.
16:22Homemade?
16:22Yeah, yeah.
16:22Oh, fair play.
16:24Well, look.
16:25Try some.
16:26Have you tried some?
16:27Not yet.
16:28This is the real test.
16:32Who's the best with the garlic bread?
16:35Shall I try at the same time?
16:36Hold on.
16:40It's good.
16:41Mmm.
16:42This is a garlic bread.
16:43Yeah, that's good.
16:45Very good.
16:45I've been beaten from a British man that knows how to do a very nice garlic bread.
16:51The smell of aroma of garlic was gorgeous, but it was really hard.
16:55It was a bit disappointed in Richard's garlic bread.
16:57It wasn't very garlicky.
16:59It wasn't very cheesy, a bit stout.
17:02Um, but it was still better than Pepe's.
17:04Oof!
17:05So, something I'm really interested in, actually, is conspiracy theories.
17:08I love a conspiracy story.
17:10I'm obsessed.
17:11Everything.
17:11So, talk to me about the moon landings.
17:13I don't think they happened.
17:15Come on.
17:15I mean, do you think this is a conspiracy?
17:17Yeah.
17:18Really?
17:18Yeah, I do.
17:19Tell me why.
17:20I think there was a huge race to get to the moon.
17:23So, I think they did go to the moon, but they went later.
17:27So, the first time was all in the studio.
17:29Okay.
17:30I don't care about if we land or we no land on the moon.
17:32Who cares about that?
17:34You know what I mean?
17:34Like, it's the end of the world if we no land on the moon.
17:39With the beauty of the moon and the goddess of the moon and the silvery moon,
17:43I would not, in a million years, think of landing on it.
17:46Good.
17:46No one has.
17:47But to say they did, good on them.
17:50But, you know, until you understand there's other species out there,
17:54there's all sorts out there, you cannot play God with the planets
17:57and the universe.
17:58Agreed, actually.
17:59Good.
18:01Friends, man.
18:02Yeah.
18:03Yeah.
18:03I actually am quite spiritual, like she is.
18:07I just don't go on about it.
18:10I've seen a completely different side to Natalia.
18:14She's warm.
18:16We're having fun.
18:17It's been really pleasant to be in a company tonight.
18:22Hello, hello, hello.
18:24DJ Dickie on the decks.
18:28Oh, my God, are you on the line?
18:31No, you are not.
18:33Are you?
18:34DJ.
18:35DJ Richard.
18:38Wow.
18:39What a shock.
18:41Fair play to him.
18:42He's got it.
18:45I'm impressed, Jo.
18:46I've seen a different side laugh.
18:48I've also been a professional dancer.
18:49Sorry, it's not a boast.
18:50Sounds like one.
18:52Raver Jo was probably the best thing I have ever seen, actually.
18:56And I actually really loved it because I could see that she was letting loose
19:00and she was so comfortable that she could do that.
19:02Jo, tonight, was a different person.
19:05She still wanted attention, but she was different tonight and I really liked the Jo, tonight.
19:14I so got into it.
19:16I love dance, anyway.
19:17I really expressed myself.
19:20Techno, technotronic.
19:21Pretty happy with the first gig for the bedroom DJ.
19:24Pretty rich.
19:24In the house.
19:26Puddin is served!
19:28Delicately blobbed that in there.
19:31And there it is.
19:33Eat and mess, shortbread and lashings of raspberry coulee.
19:42Are the meringue make fresh?
19:44Yeah, absolutely.
19:45Really?
19:45Yeah, made it this morning.
19:47Well done.
19:48And the cream.
19:49So I whipped the cream, made the meringues and the shortbread.
19:52Do I need to put a biscuit inside like a coffee?
19:54You can do whatever you like, sweetheart.
19:56Coffee, like...
19:57Can we just stop the questions now and enjoy it?
19:59Can I make a statement?
20:00I wouldn't if I were you.
20:01OK.
20:02So it's like a disconnected eating mess.
20:05Oh, not quite.
20:06Deconstructed?
20:07That's what I said.
20:08OK.
20:10Yeah, I mean, it's meant to be mixed in the glass, but there's a very limited space there.
20:13No, I like it.
20:14OK.
20:14I like it.
20:14It really meant a lot to him that it went down well.
20:17And I think, unfortunately, he hasn't enjoyed himself as much as he could have done.
20:22Shortbread is a bit short.
20:25Yeah, yeah.
20:26It's hollow.
20:27It's hard on the outside, but soft on the middle, which is strange.
20:30Just careful with your teeth.
20:33Oh, he's not happy.
20:34Stop.
20:35I think we're offending Richard.
20:37No, no.
20:37When you hear Richard's evil serial killer laugh, that's when you've got to be worried.
20:44Well, that one.
20:46The raspberries reminds me of childhood.
20:49Oh, nice.
20:49There you go.
20:50Yeah.
20:50Great.
20:51You're welcome.
20:52Speaking of childhood, when I was five or six, my parents took me to the zoo down in Bristol.
20:59OK.
21:00And they had a tiger in a cage.
21:02And my mum wanted to take a picture, so she made me go and stand next to the cage.
21:05And then all of a sudden, I thought it had started raining.
21:08But actually, the tiger was weeing on me.
21:10No.
21:11From behind.
21:11Was we?
21:12Yeah.
21:13And my mum's got it on a photo.
21:15Mine's far worse than that.
21:16All right, go on.
21:17No, you don't.
21:18I've had more than enough.
21:19Tonight, for me, that was a really good vibe.
21:21Everyone really sort of relaxed and enjoying themselves.
21:24Couple that with some fantastic food.
21:26Really nice dessert to top it all off.
21:28Yeah, I think it was a winner.
21:29Let's see what your guests thought.
21:30Scores, please.
21:31Rich made a very good effort, but the tagliatelle was no al dente
21:36and the dessert was too sweet and shortbread too hard.
21:40So I'm scoring him a seven.
21:43So tonight, I'm going to score Rich an eight.
21:47I love the starter.
21:48The main didn't quite come together
21:50and I nearly broke my tooth on the shortbread, so it's a seven.
21:55The food didn't live up to my expectations,
21:58so I'm giving Richard a five.
22:03So Richard and Pepe are level pegging at the top on 27 points.
22:09Next time...
22:11..venerable visitations.
22:13A lot of known people are wanting to come back.
22:16Elvis is one of them.
22:18George Michael is another one.
22:20Honestly, I feel like I'm in the twilight zone.
22:22And someone wins the Wonga.
22:25In fifth place is...
22:27That's right, that's right, that's right, that's right.
22:30I really love your tiger life.
22:32And that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat.
22:35I really love your tiger feet.
22:37I really love your tiger feet.
22:40Your tiger feet.
22:43Your tiger feet.
22:46Your tiger feet.
22:47All right.
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