#fullmovie #engsub #tvseries #trending2026 #dramaseries #romancemovies #fullhd #The Valley S03E01
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00:15This is Zack's Nightmare.
00:18If I was married to you, I'd cheat on you too.
00:21The way you're talking to her is making me feel very uncomfortable.
00:25I think I saw your uterus.
00:28Don't be scared you're gonna end up like me, okay?
00:34This season on the Valley.
00:36My titties won't be here for long.
00:37The last little piece of Jack's gone.
00:40He had to wave out his sleeve on my titties.
00:43Kiss! Oh, no!
00:45Come on, baby.
00:46Wow, look at you guys building bars and then making them go out of business.
00:52I love you.
00:55Check, please.
00:56Who's gonna kiss? Schwartz and Michelle!
00:59We could have a threesome tonight.
01:01Hold on, you're not officially divorced yet?
01:03Divorce me, please!
01:05Do it for me! I'm performative!
01:08She's performative?
01:11It's not allowed to be hard for both of us.
01:12It's only allowed to be hard for you.
01:14Because I don't you?
01:16You're not the only one going through this.
01:18I feel like it being really critical and it's really hard for me to function.
01:20No, it's not.
01:21I feel very out of control.
01:22I freaking hate it.
01:23It's a lot for me.
01:25I don't think I'm gonna lose you guys over this .
01:28You're gonna blow Jackie over me.
01:29You're gonna blow any of these motherfuckers over me.
01:31I'm so happy that we can be together and have a dream.
01:35Very emotionally mature.
01:36F*** you! F*** you!
01:37Oh, I lost this shoe. F*** you!
01:39He's a real Polly pocket-sized problem.
01:42F*** you!
01:43F*** everyone!
01:45F*** you!
01:46F*** you!
01:46F*** you!
01:47F*** you!
01:48F*** you!
01:49F*** you!
01:54F*** you!
01:58F*** you!
02:03F*** you!
02:04F*** you!
02:06F*** you!
02:06F*** you!
02:07F*** you!
02:07F*** you!
02:07F*** you!
02:07F*** you!
02:08F*** you!
02:09F*** you!
02:14In the sunshine, good times, nothing but bruise.
02:18What do you want to wear?
02:21Hold on, we got to brush your teeth.
02:23Do you want to wear this?
02:25Dinosaurs, just like our bedroom.
02:27It is a brand new year and a brand new me.
02:30Things are so much better than the last time that you saw me.
02:33You're going to let go, little shark.
02:36I mean, I'm really damn proud of myself.
02:39I am paying for everything.
02:40I'm doing everything physically.
02:42I'm there for my son every single day.
02:43You want an oatmeal bar?
02:44You got me!
02:51It's not always easy.
02:53Jax and I are still not divorced.
02:56He still hasn't sent in all the paperwork,
02:58but I'm hoping within like six weeks, it will happen.
03:02We got to go bye-bye.
03:04No, bruise, no, this way.
03:06I'm finally putting myself first.
03:08I'm happy and it's about damn time.
03:12Goodness.
03:19Honey, I'm home.
03:23Why is there hair in this?
03:25I'm still in West Hollywood.
03:26I still haven't made the jump to the valley and I don't think I ever will.
03:30I like your haircut.
03:31Thanks.
03:32That's cute.
03:32It's my K-pop era.
03:34The great part is my roommate's moving out and Benji is soft moving in.
03:41I do need to do my GLP one.
03:42I don't have to lie about how I lose weight.
03:44But he's so small, he doesn't take up much room.
03:46It's basically like I get triple the closet space because I'm dating Benji.
03:51Don't rub off too much of my spray tan.
03:53And I'm skinny again.
04:01Don't we have a step line?
04:02We do, but I'm just being difficult.
04:05I think it's the other way.
04:06There we go.
04:06Melissa and I are still living together.
04:08We moved into a new place in Sherman Oaks.
04:10I can't believe that I'm living in the valley.
04:12Like we're actually getting married.
04:14I love it.
04:14I'm excited.
04:15I still have our tracker of things to do.
04:17We're supposed to have a lot more done at this point.
04:20I know.
04:20I'm a little laid back bride, okay?
04:22I would say I'm just kind of go with the flow.
04:25I'm about to get married.
04:27I know.
04:28It's so wild.
04:28It's going to be black tie.
04:29No kids.
04:30There's going to be sushi.
04:31There's going to be like a carving station.
04:33We have this whole beautiful, it's simple, pretty.
04:35I don't want anybody rolling up there with a hot pink dress.
04:37I will literally stop the wedding and escort you out.
04:41You're super laid back about it.
04:42Yeah.
04:43I am laid back.
04:45Jessie wants to marry us.
04:47He wants to be our officiator?
04:48Yes.
04:56Before Dot comes, let's sage the house.
04:59Good energy.
05:00Get all the bad vibes.
05:02I'm sorry.
05:02Come on.
05:03I have my own place again and I'm like truly, truly single.
05:07Erin and I didn't work out.
05:09Have you ever been broken up with before?
05:11Actually, it's the first time anyone has ever broken up with me.
05:14I usually do the breaking up.
05:17Good vibes only.
05:23Hi, honey bunny.
05:26Wait.
05:27Okay, come.
05:27She has a lot of energy.
05:29Apparently.
05:30Jessie and I split Isabella.
05:32We switch weekends.
05:33When will the divorce be finalized?
05:35I wish it was finalized two years ago when I first asked for a divorce, but he just always
05:41has an excuse of why he can't sign the paperwork.
05:44Let's do it, you two.
05:46All right.
05:46Ready?
05:49Michelle, for some reason, thinks everything I do is strategic.
05:53Trust me, I want to get divorced.
05:54It just hasn't happened yet.
05:56Simple.
05:57You're cheating.
05:58I'm not cheating.
05:59So easy.
06:00Moving on up, moving on up, moving on up right now.
06:08I love you, Santa Clarita!
06:11Santa Clarita!
06:12Santa Clarita!
06:15Who's mountain's that?
06:17Is that Bucco Mountain?
06:18Mm-hmm.
06:18Santa Clarita is heaven.
06:21It's our mountain.
06:22There's a smile.
06:24Lord have mercy, we got a new baby, baby Adelaide, our number four.
06:29Hi, happy girl.
06:31We've taken the deep dive off into, like, the middle of nowhere.
06:34I almost had a baby in the car, thanks to the Santa Clarita move.
06:38It took an hour to get to the hospital because we were so far away from our LA hospital.
06:42I do miss being closer to everything.
06:46Hey, baby girl!
06:47Hello!
06:48Yay!
06:49Yay!
06:51Yay!
06:51Oh!
06:58Do you want a bottle?
07:00Buy this.
07:01Not feeling it?
07:02You don't know what you want.
07:04We don't know either.
07:05Luke and I are still engaged, and I've had a whole baby.
07:10She's exactly what I manifested.
07:12Blonde hair, blue eyes, looks nothing like me.
07:14My genetics did not try.
07:16There we go.
07:18You think the blowouts are because she's laying down or because the diaper's too small?
07:21There'll be, like, nothing in the front and all the way up her back.
07:24The biggest change in me since Kaya, I'm way less grossed out by poop than I used to be.
07:30That's a good thing, I guess.
07:31Is it a good thing to be more comfortable with feces on your hands?
07:35Do you feel well-rested?
07:37How are you feeling otherwise?
07:38I don't know.
07:38It's like I told you the other day.
07:39I'm really good at being her mom.
07:41I just don't know how to be anything else.
07:42I just don't know how to be, like, a woman.
07:46You know what I mean?
07:47I think...
07:48Not being the best partner.
07:49If we get a good nanny, everything else will, like, ease up.
07:54Kaya is our whole world.
07:57We don't have time for anything else.
07:59We don't have time for ourselves, and we definitely don't have time for each other.
08:03One of us has been with her every minute of every day so far.
08:06I know you feel like we don't have a relationship.
08:08I didn't say that.
08:09There's definitely certain areas that are lacking that maybe weren't a year ago.
08:14I miss having sex.
08:15Like, I love Kristen.
08:17She's smoking hot.
08:18Like, come on.
08:19Play it on me.
08:20I'm going to try harder with all of that normalcy.
08:24It just takes time.
08:26Yeah.
08:27Baby steps to get back to feeling like yourself.
08:30Because I don't know.
08:30It's the first time I've done this, too.
08:32Yeah.
08:33Yeah.
08:33But we have this sip and see coming up.
08:36So...
08:36Yeah.
08:37That'll be a little different.
08:38You know, it's like the whole point is hard, but it's overwhelming for me.
08:43Nia and I are throwing a sip and see together because our girls are only six days apart.
08:47But I'm still so incredibly overwhelmed.
08:51I mean, like, I haven't really left the house more than once since I had a baby.
08:59She's sleeping.
09:09I need to get Kristen a gift.
09:11What about this?
09:11How cute is that?
09:13Kristen would love the dogs, wouldn't she?
09:14I feel like this tie-dye one's cute, too.
09:16I feel like I could see her in that.
09:18I love a beige.
09:19Yeah.
09:20I love a babe in beige.
09:20I've known Kristen for a long time.
09:24She and I definitely have gone toes.
09:27I'm the one person, babe, you don't want to go there with.
09:32I'm really scared.
09:33Sit the down.
09:35But she fights hard.
09:37She loves hard.
09:38She's very much my type of chick.
09:40Is it awkward that I'm, like, having you help me?
09:43No.
09:43I love all babies.
09:44So, like, I want you to get them something cute.
09:47And I'm honestly glad that I wasn't invited and put in a position where I have to not go.
09:52Yeah.
09:52Last summer was a good lesson for me.
09:55I feel like she wants to stir the pot.
09:58If your husband's going to a public bar getting blacked out and making women uncomfortable, it's going to get talked
10:03about.
10:03I said out loud, yes, that he sexually assaulted Jasmine.
10:07Bye.
10:07I'll throw her off the bed.
10:09It's been important to me to get in therapy, to work on myself, reflect on how I can be better
10:14and not have so much pain and drama in the group.
10:18Nia blocked me on everything.
10:19She's made it pretty clear, like, she wants me to shut my mouth and, like, move on.
10:24So, I also feel like Nia would rather paint me as a liar when she knows I'm not than to
10:29recognize the truth about what's happening with her husband.
10:31Do you think you could say, I'm sorry that I went in so hard.
10:34It was not my place.
10:38I mean, the only people coming to the Sip and See are, like, very close friends.
10:41It's not a ton of people.
10:43Like, Janet, Jason, there's been no communication whatsoever.
10:45Which, I mean, like, how can a friendship, like, repair when there's zero communication over the course of a year?
10:50Nope.
10:50She's on too many of my friends.
10:53Yeah.
10:53She kind of just doesn't exist to me.
10:56The only time I've seen her for even a millisecond in the last year has been at Brittany's house.
11:04That interaction at Brittany's was not great.
11:06So, I was like, it went from, oh, Kristen has a baby on her boob to, oh, Kristen has a
11:10baby on her boob.
11:11Get me out of here as quick as I can.
11:13Brittany had a pool party that she was going to invite all the kids over for.
11:17I'm like, okay, if Kristen's there, she's probably going to have a newborn with her.
11:20She's going to be sticking inside in the air conditioning.
11:22We'll get there, we'll change, we'll go in the pool.
11:24It probably won't even be that big of an issue.
11:27Brittany told me that Janet was 99% not going to come, especially if she knew I was going to
11:32be there.
11:33She was probably going to cancel and I shouldn't even worry about it.
11:36And next thing I know, Janet shows up.
11:39Kristen's, Brittany, why is she here?
11:41She doesn't deserve to be here.
11:43Took me a second to be like, oh, is she talking about me?
11:46Not doing it today.
11:47Not in front of my kid.
11:48No.
11:49My entire being told me, like, just leave, get out of here.
11:51So I just scooped Cam, grabbed our bag and turned around and walked away.
11:56Good.
11:56I love that for you.
11:57Did Brittany step in when that happened or no?
11:59She didn't say anything.
12:00And then afterwards, I was like, I texted her and I was just like, what the f***?
12:04Like, you invite me over with my kid and then that happens and you can't say like, hey, stop it.
12:11We're talking about friendships that have been decades long.
12:16Of course, when you have history with someone, there's going to be good s*** and bad s***.
12:20Let's focus on the good s***.
12:22It's a tough situation.
12:23I want peace, but I don't want to stir stuff up and then have it be a big dramatic thing.
12:29Yeah.
12:29I'm trying to have fun.
12:30Totally.
12:31I've been chilling for two years, playing mom, covered in spit up, and I want everyone to f***ing get along.
12:37Congratulations on your baby.
12:39Where'd you at with Janet?
12:40Do you remember her?
12:43Coming up.
12:44He wants to have sex all the time.
12:45I also hate my body right now.
12:47She shuts down every advance.
12:48At what point do you stop trying?
12:50That kind of thing.
13:02I'm sure my boobies are good.
13:07Hey.
13:08Ha ha, honey.
13:09What are you doing?
13:11I was just unpacking a little bit.
13:13I miss you.
13:14Yeah.
13:15I miss you too.
13:15Oh, five days in Cabo together, and you're not tired of me yet.
13:19No.
13:19I probably could have done at least like three more days.
13:22No.
13:23I am definitely getting my sparkle back.
13:27I met Brandon in Kentucky.
13:29I was probably like 22 at the most, and we instantly clicked, and eventually it turned into like a romantic
13:36thing.
13:36But the timing just wasn't right, and it had been like 13 years since we've seen each other.
13:41I'm like burning up.
13:43So sunburned.
13:44Burnt to a crisp.
13:45Burnt to a crisp.
13:46Yeah.
13:46Me and Brandon are so great together.
13:49He tells me how beautiful I am every day.
13:52He lives in California, about three hours away.
13:55We're like actually best friends, and he just makes me feel really good.
13:59So what else is going on?
14:00Nothing, just hanging out at the house.
14:01Chrissy's asleep.
14:03It's funny, because the first time he came to visit, I was like, you can sleep in my guest room.
14:07Like I didn't know if the spark was going to be the same.
14:10He slept in my guest room, but I slept in there with him.
14:14When are you going to be back?
14:16I guess Thursday.
14:17Okay, Thursday.
14:18I just want everybody to meet you.
14:20I feel like I don't have a problem getting along with everybody, you know.
14:23Well, you won't.
14:23Of course not.
14:24You're a nice guy, I guess.
14:28You can't.
14:29You can't.
14:31Pretty as I'm painting.
14:33Beauty as I'm fading.
14:34Even if it's raining, your light shines bright.
14:38They don't try to taint it.
14:39It's so, so entertaining.
14:41But who's to be complaining?
14:42You're such a dung.
14:45Woo.
14:47It's a lot cooler in here.
14:48It feels good.
14:51Whoa.
14:53Hey.
14:54That's my love.
14:55Handles?
14:55What are you up to?
14:56Oh my God, how are you doing?
14:57What's going on?
14:59Why are you so sweaty?
15:00What's going on?
15:01I mean, look at you.
15:03You look super lean.
15:05You look spelt.
15:08You got to reciprocate the compliment.
15:10I'm sorry.
15:10You look so good, too.
15:13You look great, too.
15:13But I want to level up a little more.
15:15You know, sometimes when you're depressed, you put on weight.
15:16After the bar closed, I think I put on a happy 15 pounds.
15:20I also feel like you, especially after a bar, you needed a break.
15:23Just like wore you down.
15:25I was floundering, man.
15:29Oh, man.
15:30My life kind of fell apart at the seams.
15:33So after 12 years together and five years of marriage, I went to Tom last winter and asked
15:43him for a divorce.
15:44Divorced.
15:45Just hemorrhaging money.
15:47She laid it all out and it made perfect sense.
15:49I can't probably give you the specifics because I was so upset.
15:53I wasn't really listening.
15:55But also, I don't want to ask her again because one of the reasons she broke up with me is
15:58because I'm not a good listener.
16:00I lost all my harmony.
16:01In my zest, I lost my shorts.
16:03Yeah.
16:03But I think it's back.
16:04I feel like a brand new me.
16:06I don't know exactly how to articulate it, but I just feel like I got my sparkle.
16:11Can I steal Britney's line?
16:12I feel like I got my sparkle back.
16:14I'm happy it happened on some level.
16:16I know that's up because I lost a lot of money, but it just made me a better person.
16:20It gave me grits.
16:21It gave me like chutzpah.
16:23I've known Tom since the day I moved to LA.
16:25He is one of the kindest, gentlest, most fun people that I've ever met.
16:32You got stuck in like a really bad situation.
16:34Yeah.
16:34Now you're to the point where you're ready to like thrive instead of just like survive.
16:39That's exactly it.
16:40Oh my God, that's so good.
16:42Hey, cheers, by the way.
16:43Oh, sorry.
16:43I didn't mean to take it before you.
16:44Cheers.
16:46Well, I saw that Britney was in Cabo.
16:48Brandon was there too.
16:49She looks so happy.
16:50Listen, I'm glad she's happy, but I don't know.
16:53I just worry because it's like she's so vulnerable right now.
16:56She's looking for validation.
16:58He said I love you so fast.
17:00It's like it's moving far too fast, but if you don't put in the work on yourself to then
17:05see these red flags, you are going to fall for them again.
17:09I think you should seriously consider doing a little masturbating.
17:14Masturbating is essentially just taking yourself out for a night in the town, showing yourself
17:20a little love.
17:21You have to just build yourself up in the field of Britney's dreams.
17:26If she builds it, he will come and then she will come.
17:33I'm like scared.
17:34She's going far too fast.
17:36I'm already going in cautiously.
17:38And I want her to be just as cautious and I feel like she might not be.
17:42Yeah.
17:43But you and Benji are strong.
17:45The love is strong.
17:46We're still figuring out his visa, which is such a nightmare.
17:49He's Canadian.
17:49Yeah.
17:50Yeah.
17:50We've set up our relationship where we have an open relationship.
17:53Oh, this is interesting.
17:55That's the thing is like sex and love are different.
17:57We far too often fake it like sex is all about making a baby.
18:01Yeah.
18:01Bulls***.
18:02Then why is your prostate in your butthole, okay?
18:04Jesus knew what he was doing when he put that up there.
18:08Coming up.
18:10I laughed in tears.
18:11If I can make things better, I will.
18:13You could have said, Kristen, this isn't the time or place.
18:15Not at my house.
18:29I'm going to do the BLT.
18:34Oh, the crazy hair, girl.
18:38Okay.
18:39All right.
18:40Let's see where Kristen is at.
18:44Oh, sorry.
18:47You lost it.
18:50There you go.
18:55Hey, girl.
18:56Hey, hey.
18:58Hello.
18:58Come on over.
18:59Stroller parking and everything.
19:03I'm like, hey, let me drag you out of the house while you need a bottle and a nap.
19:07We're three blocks from home and we may as well be in a foreign country because that's
19:11how stressful this is.
19:12Don't you have like fun mimosa type thing with like, okay.
19:16We got like a very bellini.
19:17I'll do that.
19:18I mean, the first time I left the house after giving birth, I went to a grocery store and
19:23people weren't nice to me anymore because I wasn't pregnant.
19:31Like no one held the door open for me.
19:33No one was like, oh my God, your belly's so cute.
19:35They just walked right by me like I was just some piece of and it was awful.
19:40It's so tired.
19:41Okay, girlfriend, can you just hang out for a minute?
19:44Where'd you end up with breastfeeding and all that?
19:46I just had like, thank you.
19:48I just had like nothing left.
19:49I was barely giving her a bottle a day.
19:51Yeah.
19:52Like even trying to pump twice a day.
19:54Yeah.
19:54It just sucked.
19:55I'm fine being at home and wearing like sweats and a bra, but then when I have to leave the
20:00house, I'm like...
20:00Have you guys gotten a date night?
20:01Uh-uh.
20:03You're almost three months in.
20:05You need a date night.
20:07Don't go down, shake it up.
20:10Pull the trigger, let your animal out.
20:11Don't you want to feel the rush?
20:13Rush.
20:14I want to show you what I'm talking about.
20:16Get a little taste, just to always play the same.
20:19Baby, aren't you sick of running these, baby?
20:21Love that.
20:22Coming.
20:23What's up, man?
20:24How you doing?
20:26Good, how are you?
20:26Good.
20:27Tired.
20:28Yeah?
20:29It's not Kaya's fault last night, though.
20:31Really?
20:31I went out.
20:32Ah.
20:33Yeah.
20:34Chris wasn't thrilled about me going out last night, but...
20:37Really?
20:37It's all right.
20:38I've been pushing her to go out so I can then go out more.
20:41Right.
20:42How's Lacey doing?
20:43She's good.
20:44Yeah?
20:44She was up the last two weekends, and her daughter and Isabel, the two of them are like
20:48little sisters, and they're starting to fight like little sisters.
20:51The girlfriend from Orange County can now be named.
20:55Her name is Lacey.
20:56She's incredibly intelligent, incredibly passionate.
21:00We spent a lot of time together.
21:02Our kids are really close, and it's been incredible.
21:07So things are great with Lacey.
21:09How are things between Michelle and Lacey?
21:12Michelle has said over and over again that she, like, doesn't want any communication.
21:16But last summer, I asked Michelle to reach out to Lacey before the Yamashiro party.
21:24Just call and, like, you know, put your cards on the table and just move forward so that we can
21:29all move on, and Michelle wanted no part of it.
21:32She was this close to coming.
21:34If Michelle had called, she'd be here right now.
21:36It is not my responsibility to call your girlfriend.
21:40Well, it would have helped me, but you guys don't give a shit.
21:43What?
21:43We need to sort of start to create this, like, modern family situation.
21:47Lacey reached out to Michelle when we first started dating.
21:51She wanted to know if Michelle had any boundaries, and Michelle didn't take it the right way.
21:57I don't know where that's going to go, to be honest with you.
22:00Michelle has made no effort, and she wants nothing to do with this woman that spends half the week with
22:08her daughter.
22:08And it just doesn't make any logical sense to me whatsoever.
22:13How's everything going with the baby?
22:15She's great.
22:16First six weeks were really tough, honestly.
22:18Yeah, it's been kind of a tougher adjustment.
22:21I mean, the downtime will make you crazy, man.
22:24Kristen wants me around for support and doesn't like when I leave the house.
22:27You got some baby blues?
22:31I thought of it like that.
22:33I don't know.
22:34I gotta dive into my feelings a little more, huh?
22:36A therapy session.
22:37I mean, I remember when I was a new dad, it is a huge shift.
22:41It's like a, hey, you want to meet up for a drink?
22:44I called six nannies.
22:46They're not available.
22:47It's difficult mentally.
22:48In that first year, it's definitely, it's a change.
22:52I mean, I had Isabella when I was 40.
22:55So at 33, I was still out and about around town.
22:59So I can't imagine the transition at that age to this new world of responsibility.
23:06Lay it on me.
23:07I've been there.
23:08Our relationship is completely lacking intimacy.
23:12And that's just to be expected.
23:14Right.
23:14To some degree, I guess.
23:15It should be something that we should be able to talk about.
23:18We haven't really.
23:20Like, how is Luke dealing with what you're experiencing?
23:24He gets it as well as he can get it.
23:26Yeah.
23:27You know?
23:27Yeah.
23:27But he's like...
23:28Yeah.
23:29We're still in a relationship.
23:31Yeah.
23:31Can we try to have sex?
23:32Can we do this?
23:33Like, you're cleared for that.
23:34I also hate my body right now.
23:37She shuts down every advance.
23:39At what point do you stop trying?
23:40I know in my experience that I would have rather have had hard conversations because frustration
23:46turns to resentment very quickly.
23:49He wants to have sex all the time.
23:50And he's like, well, I love your body.
23:52I'm like, I like that your boobs are bigger.
23:53And I like that you have a butt.
23:54And I'm like, that's really nice.
23:56Thanks, butt.
23:57I know.
23:58Yeah, exactly.
23:58We've always had a really healthy sex life.
24:01And it was just pretty regular.
24:03But sex made a baby.
24:04And now sex doesn't exist.
24:05I just need time.
24:07Like, I'm attached to her.
24:08She's attached to me.
24:10I think my natural defense mechanism to frustrations or whatever is just, like, basically kind of
24:16turning off emotions.
24:17Basically, we're going to sweep everything under the rug until it hardens into cement.
24:20And we've got a permanent issue that we can't get rid of.
24:27Coming up.
24:28Is he your boyfriend officially?
24:41Can I tell you something gross?
24:43Always.
24:44When I was pregnant, I got a skin tag on my gooch.
24:47You know, like, the area in between your...
24:48Do you know what a gooch is?
24:49No.
24:50The area between your vagina and your butthole.
24:52And I have a skin tag down there.
24:54And I want it removed so bad, but...
24:55Oh, it's still there?
24:56It's still there.
24:57Oh, I have the best guy ever.
24:59It has to be a dermatologist.
25:00I want to be like, all right, where's the skin tag removing?
25:02And I'm like, hold on, I got to take all my clothes off and bend over and spread it.
25:06You have to shave your breasts, though, beforehand.
25:08Oh, my God.
25:09You must.
25:09I don't want to be a dentist.
25:12This is dangerous.
25:13This is dangerous, how close you are to these margaritas.
25:17Hello, señoritas.
25:18How are you tonight?
25:19All of you are over 21?
25:20Yes, very.
25:22Very.
25:23Hey, this skinny margarita.
25:25Let the danger begin.
25:27Hi!
25:28Your hair is so thin.
25:30Oh, my God.
25:31I love you.
25:32Look at how tan you are and how blonde.
25:34I know.
25:35This is your housewarming present.
25:36I was like, is this our bottle service?
25:38I love it.
25:38But you know, look at everything.
25:41I know.
25:42I come over and she's like, let me make you a margarita.
25:44Oh, my gosh.
25:44Hi.
25:45I miss you.
25:45How was your trip?
25:46I know.
25:46That's a big deal to go to Cabo with him.
25:49I know.
25:49We just spent five days in Cabo together and didn't drive each other crazy.
25:54Like, is he your boyfriend officially?
26:03No, he's not.
26:04I won't say yes yet.
26:06He asked.
26:07Yeah.
26:08Already?
26:09Yeah.
26:10Brandon is, like, very emotionally stable.
26:13And I'm like, that's normal.
26:16You have no idea how sexy that is.
26:18Yeah.
26:21Yeah.
26:21Brandon has BDE.
26:25Yeah.
26:26He gives big dick energy because he's got a big one.
26:31It's personality and it's real.
26:35I'm so excited.
26:36Yeah.
26:37I really like him.
26:39He's a great person.
26:40But what if I got, like, bored?
26:42Because things were so, like, good and so nice and I'm used to chaos and trauma.
26:47Can I help you find a therapist?
26:48Yeah.
26:49I just got in therapy and it's so freeing to talk to somebody.
26:54You know, it's like an expert on life.
26:56Yeah, I'm trying to be happy this year.
26:58Hey, hey, hey.
26:59Yeah, me too.
27:00So what's going on with you guys?
27:02I feel like I've been talking about myself for hours.
27:04Michelle, how are you feeling?
27:05Are you okay?
27:06I've never had somebody break up with me.
27:09Dumbass.
27:10How's Isabella doing with everything?
27:12When Erin and I broke up, she cried.
27:15Oh, man.
27:16She's like, why did you guys have to break up?
27:18And I felt really guilty.
27:20Well, you should not feel guilty.
27:21You did everything, like, by the book like you should.
27:24I'm proud of you.
27:25I've tried, but it was kind of confusing because he was, like, out of nowhere.
27:30And, like, he wants a fitness girl.
27:34I'm like, oh, my God, oh, my God.
27:36I walk every day.
27:37I hike.
27:37I go to the gym.
27:38And he's like, walking and hiking is not working out.
27:43It's called cardio, but .
27:45Going to the gym four days a week isn't enough.
27:48What is that?
27:49She's not motivating.
27:51I'm over here dipping my feet and cheese.
27:54She doesn't work out enough.
27:55By the way, the moment we broke up,
27:59all he started doing is following Instagram models.
28:03So can I unfollow him now?
28:04Please.
28:05I did.
28:05But you know what?
28:06You did your charity .
28:08Now you're done.
28:09All right.
28:10Bye, bitch.
28:10That was easy.
28:13By the way, tomorrow the sip and see is at, like, 11 a.m.
28:17What time should I show up?
28:20I dare you to show up.
28:21No, no, no, no.
28:22I would never.
28:23This is a baby event.
28:24Just beautiful, perfect baby.
28:26Yeah.
28:27But the thing is, I also don't care that much to do that.
28:30I don't care to fight with Kristen.
28:31I wish her well.
28:33But I can only control my behavior and how Kristen behaved at your house was gross.
28:40That sucked.
28:41That was odd.
28:42She was, like, carrying her baby and yelling at the same time.
28:45And then, like, two seconds later, you were gone.
28:47And I was like, what just happened?
28:49What made you not say something?
28:52Because I was shook.
28:53Obviously, I did not expect that was going to happen that day.
28:56No.
28:56But I thought everyone was going to be fine.
28:58And she that up.
29:00Me and Janet are so close.
29:01She's been a great friend to me, especially over everything I went through with Jax last year.
29:06I feel like that's definitely something that has made me feel bad.
29:10Because I want to stick up for my friends.
29:12But it's hard for me, as the people pleaser I am and how much I hate conflict,
29:17to get into the middle of everything.
29:19Cameron was bawling his eyes out.
29:21And I had to strap him into his car seat after driving over saying,
29:25we're going to swim with Cruz.
29:27Putting his chest out, screaming and crying into the car.
29:31I left in tears.
29:33I cried all night, too.
29:35If I can make things better, I will.
29:37You could have said, Kristen, this isn't the time or place.
29:39Not at my house.
29:41Like, to walk into a party and have somebody be like,
29:43why is she here?
29:44She doesn't deserve to be here.
29:46I haven't felt like that since seventh grade.
29:49Like, since the last time I felt, like, bullied.
29:53And I'm not going to continue just showing up places where I'm getting yelled at.
30:07Coming up, you're gorgeous.
30:09I still believe in love.
30:11I believe in love, too.
30:11You do?
30:12That's sweet as hell.
30:13I don't know.
30:13I just feel like it could work, Ronald.
30:15Maybe?
30:27Let's see.
30:28Oh, my goodness!
30:33Wow!
30:34Welcome!
30:36Hiya, Natalie!
30:38Sweet last sip and shake.
30:40So beautiful.
30:41This is so beautiful.
30:42This is awesome.
30:43And then we've got past all appetizers.
30:45I'll take a mocktail for now.
30:46You know, you might need a shot after everybody arrives.
30:47Exactly.
30:48I am excited for everybody to meet Adelaide,
30:51but I'm also excited to be in my old hood,
30:53back to civilization.
30:55Oh, the valley.
30:56It feels good to be home.
30:59Thank you, guys.
31:00You're so gorgeous.
31:02Yay!
31:02You look beautiful.
31:04Hey, girl.
31:05How are you?
31:05You look beautiful.
31:08Little Adelaide.
31:09So beautiful.
31:10It's brighter in the valley, and it's hotter.
31:13Jeez.
31:13Maybe I'll do a rose with the cotton candy.
31:17I feel like Marilyn Monroe in this dress.
31:22What the heck?
31:23You look like an angel.
31:24Look at Marilyn Monroe.
31:25I know.
31:25We need a little.
31:27Marilyn?
31:28Aw, cute.
31:31Where's Kristen?
31:32Hey, where's she at?
31:32You want a cocktail?
31:33Yes.
31:34Where's Kristen?
31:37Are you pooping again?
31:38I have to brush my teeth.
31:39Oh, my God.
31:41We're, like, really late.
31:47Oh, my goodness.
31:52Oh, she's a beauty queen.
31:54She's a sweet girl.
31:55Whenever she's ready, you know I will hold her.
31:56I know.
31:57I want a baby.
31:58Okay, well, you need to get it together.
32:00Stop going to Vegas.
32:00We need little Vegas parties.
32:02Hi, girl.
32:03Hi.
32:03You look beautiful.
32:04You look beautiful.
32:04You look beautiful.
32:05So gorgeous.
32:06Let me see.
32:07Little Addie.
32:08Please tell me you're done.
32:09Are you done?
32:10I'm done, girl.
32:12I say four and a four.
32:14How about one more?
32:15You guys are more insane than I am.
32:16No.
32:17I wake up every day to Nia with a scissor.
32:19She's like it.
32:21I'm like, yeah!
32:22I'm ready!
32:25Her feet are getting a little sun.
32:27And her feet.
32:29Feet tan.
32:30Feet tan.
32:31Yeah.
32:31We're so late.
32:32All right.
32:33We made it.
32:34Hi, guys.
32:34Hey, hey.
32:35We're here.
32:36Breathe, Mama.
32:37Breathe.
32:39Congrats.
32:40Good.
32:40How are you?
32:42How was it today?
32:43Getting here was a lot.
32:47Cheers to you, Daddy.
32:48Cheers.
32:49Cheers.
32:50Daddy Luke.
32:51I hate that one.
32:52Daddy Luke?
32:53Daddy's got a hot dog.
32:55He's so beautiful.
32:56Look at your dress.
32:59It's so pretty.
33:00Oh, don't you cry on me.
33:02Where's your pacifier?
33:05Don't cry on me.
33:07Okay, I'll walk you around.
33:08There's Mommy.
33:09I said, please don't cry on me.
33:11Hi, sis.
33:13She's been just fine.
33:14That was her first little wail.
33:15Yeah.
33:16She literally was fine until just the second.
33:19Michelle, do you want to drink?
33:20Sure.
33:22I'll do the baby shot.
33:23Okay, okay.
33:24Can I do a skinny Marg?
33:25Skinny Marg with a full tahim, please?
33:27So, wait.
33:28Michelle.
33:29You ever seen how Stella got her groove back?
33:32No, I have...
33:33Not that your groove isn't back, but...
33:35You're gorgeous.
33:37I'll take the compliments, but...
33:39Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
33:40Keep them coming.
33:40Keep them coming.
33:41Look.
33:41Tom and Michelle.
33:43Tom and Michelle Wallace.
33:44Look.
33:44Yeah.
33:45I think we're on similar journeys.
33:47I'm trying to live.
33:48Trying to laugh.
33:50What is the movie?
33:51Eat, love, pray?
33:52Yes.
33:52That's what I'm trying to do.
33:53Yes.
33:53We are Julia Roberts right now.
33:55Cheers.
33:56I thought it would be cute.
33:57I'm not going to leave time now.
33:59I don't know.
34:00Damn.
34:00Mine.
34:01Tom's very quirky and weird.
34:03He is.
34:03But she's a little...
34:04But you know, maybe that's what people need.
34:05Opposites attract.
34:06Yeah.
34:08Michelle is a fine French wine.
34:11Tom's a Yagerbomb at a sports bar.
34:13I still believe in love.
34:14I believe in love too.
34:15You do?
34:16That's sweet as hell.
34:17Even though I went through the nastiest divorce and somebody who broke up with me, I truly
34:22believe in love.
34:23I'm glad you're not jaded.
34:24I don't know what your type is.
34:25I don't know if I have a type.
34:27Okay.
34:27It's usually a chemistry thing.
34:29Good.
34:30No.
34:30I just said if they went and had fun, that would be great.
34:33I saw that you went to a Voda spa.
34:35That's my spa.
34:36I love it there too.
34:37It's the best.
34:38Do you want to go to a Voda spa?
34:39I'll go to a Voda spa with you.
34:40I want to.
34:41We'll have a night out of the town.
34:42We'll do something.
34:43Anything spiritual.
34:44Do something.
34:45I need a spiritual awakening.
34:48Cheers to the beautiful babies.
34:50Yes.
34:50Cheers.
34:51She's a really good baby.
34:53Oh, look at the baby.
34:53She's a really good place.
34:58Here we go.
35:00When I was shaving my face, I nicked my lip.
35:02Ooh.
35:03I didn't notice, but now I do.
35:04You're good.
35:05Great.
35:06Hi, Boo.
35:07Hi.
35:08You're finally out and about.
35:09Hi.
35:09Thanks for coming.
35:11Oh, great.
35:13Is that her?
35:14Yep.
35:16What the is she doing here?
35:18Nobody told me she was coming because she was like,
35:21I was never in my life now.
35:22How you doing, man?
35:23Good.
35:23Oh, my goodness.
35:25Oh, my goodness.
35:26I love babies.
35:28Lacey's just not, it's not a common name.
35:30And she's not a common person either.
35:32Oh, are we allowed to say her name this year?
35:34I love you.
35:35I love you.
35:38Lacey, her and I have had a very difficult relationship.
35:45I'm dealing with a person who thinks she knows everything
35:49and she wants everybody love her, I can tell.
35:51Just a reminder, this is the same woman who had her lawyer send me a cease and desist.
35:57She's constantly threatening to sue me.
36:00She was like, I'm going to send all of you guys cease and desist so you don't talk about me.
36:04I met Lacey's ex-boyfriend.
36:06I was like, oh, my God, she sent me a cease and desist.
36:09He's like, oh, I got one, too.
36:10Like, she throws them out to everyone.
36:12Like, she's a little insane.
36:14Not a banging body.
36:15I mean, so do you.
36:16She's just not my cup of tea.
36:24Hi, boys.
36:25I didn't say hi to you.
36:26Hey, how are you?
36:26And how are you?
36:27Good.
36:28Good to see you.
36:28Good to see you.
36:29Hi.
36:30That looks very good right now.
36:32I can't believe you have a baby.
36:34Yeah.
36:35I have to tell you something that you may not think is funny.
36:37But I kind of thought it was funny.
36:39We were talking, me and my mom.
36:41And my mom goes, your baby kind of looks like you.
36:44My baby.
36:45Sosa.
36:45So it's the blue eyes.
36:47And I was like, oh, no.
36:49He needed some extra money when he moved to L.A.
36:52You know, when you were reading the profiles or whatever, I'm like, that could be me.
36:55Oh, .
36:55Could you imagine?
36:57Wait, did you join this, friend?
36:58Yeah.
37:02My senior year of college, I donated sperm to the same sperm bank that Lala used to conceive
37:07Sosa.
37:07Donor number one, you guys.
37:09He really has it all.
37:10He is tall at 6'2 with lean athletic build.
37:13I'm 6'2 in lean athletic build.
37:14Donor number three, y'all.
37:16His major was in accounting and finance.
37:18Okay.
37:18So I have a degree in accounting and finance.
37:21One of his biggest passions in life is cooking.
37:23At the time, I might have been really into cooking.
37:25I don't know.
37:25My hobbies jump around.
37:27I don't know.
37:27I could be one or three.
37:29I could be all of them.
37:30Who knows?
37:30Oh, hold on.
37:31Are you with me?
37:32I know.
37:32I was like, wait a second.
37:33You gave him the plug and then they just disappeared.
37:39I am shocked.
37:41I did not have on my bingo card that he would say he's been a sperm donor at the same
37:47cryo
37:48bank I got Sosa from.
37:49Oh, my God.
37:50It does look like lit.
37:52Like.
37:52Now Kristen is Sosa's stepmom.
37:56Oh, no.
37:57Luckily, you stuck around.
37:58I know you're really stuck.
38:00Oh, yeah.
38:00I'm not going anywhere.
38:06Woo!
38:10Hi, baby girl.
38:13Kristen, can I grab your baby?
38:15Yeah.
38:16She's...
38:16Oh, I see her right here.
38:17You're going to single the baby.
38:24I'm going to say hi to Michelle.
38:26Okay.
38:30Hi.
38:31Hi.
38:33Hi.
38:37I didn't even know you were coming.
38:39Oh.
38:40Nobody told me.
38:41Oh, at least it's like a nice ambiance with babies.
38:46Yeah.
38:47Well, less can go wrong.
38:49I know.
38:50It's a perfect little cute event.
38:52Well, I'm happy to see you.
38:53You do seem happy and like healthy and in a good place, so.
38:59I am.
39:00I am.
39:00We're, as you know, in a much better place than we were last summer.
39:04I emphasize with that.
39:05Are you divorced?
39:06Yeah.
39:07I didn't know if you're officially divorced or I don't know anything about you.
39:12Oh.
39:14I'm divorced.
39:15Yeah.
39:16Listen, I don't want to fight with any woman going through a divorce.
39:19We had a rough start, but...
39:21I know.
39:22I'm sorry.
39:23Michelle and Lacey, speaking is the best case scenario for all of us.
39:29You know, hopefully it's just the beginning of what could grow into Thanksgiving together.
39:36All I need is a divorce and I'm done.
39:38So ask him to sign.
39:39I'm team divorce.
39:40I made it very easy for him.
39:41I walk away with nothing, so.
39:46Yeah.
39:47I don't know the financials, but I'm just hoping you guys have good, healthy resolution.
39:54Mm-hmm.
39:56Lacey is now always with my friends and she's going to be at the parties I go to.
40:01Honestly, it sucks and I hate it.
40:04Everybody likes her now.
40:08All right.
40:15I just had a long conversation.
40:17I saw you over there.
40:19I got nervous.
40:20I don't trust her.
40:21I've seen her be super nice and I've also seen her be super rude to me.
40:26You want something?
40:26I'm going to get a cocktail finally.
40:27Yeah.
40:28I'm like, hey.
40:28Sure.
40:29Last summer, leading up to my Zen party at Yamashiro, Jessie kept begging me to call Lacey and have conversations
40:36with her.
40:37And I just said, it's not the time and I don't want to have a conversation with this girl.
40:42She seems completely unstable, but she wants to portray that she's this sophisticated girl.
40:48So this girl who says she would never film shows up to my Zen party when there's cameras everywhere.
40:56Oh, Lacey's here.
40:58Hi.
40:58Hi.
41:00No, Lace, come here.
41:01You guys are almost done.
41:02I'll wait like five minutes.
41:03I thought you were done.
41:04We're finishing at 10.30.
41:06I know.
41:07Oh, this is me.
41:08Well, I think it's fine over here.
41:10Yeah.
41:11I just can't touch her.
41:12When someone's like very unpredictable and chaotic, it makes me super nervous.
41:16Exactly.
41:17Don't fall for Lacey's bull .
41:19In front of your face, she'll be super nice and sweet.
41:22But behind closed doors, she's a bitch.
41:25She can't be a part of her party.
41:26She has an NDA.
41:27She can't film.
41:28Why did she come here?
41:29Yeah.
41:30Because we wrapped at 10.30.
41:31We're not wrapped.
41:32We're still filming.
41:33Lacey, not cool.
41:34Jeremiah, not cool.
41:37Jessie's chaotic.
41:38Lacey's chaotic.
41:40The two of them together are just insanity.
41:42She was just being bossy and telling me what to do and like how our friendship's going to
41:46be.
41:46It doesn't really work that way.
41:48And by the end of the conversation, she was screaming at me.
41:50And she's like, I have all the money in the world and I don't care.
41:53I will see you and I will win.
41:54Jessie, Jessie, Jessie.
41:56No, no, no.
41:56I'm going to go with her.
41:56Hey, guys.
41:57This is a .
41:58Wow.
42:00What the ?
42:00What the ?
42:06This fall is going to be hard enough having to deal with Jessie dragging his feet with
42:10the divorce.
42:11Now I have this crazy girlfriend.
42:13There's only so much I can take before I snap.
42:16How did that go?
42:17That's fine.
42:18Maybe you're the problem.
42:22Next time on The Valley.
42:24It's my daughter's first birthday party.
42:27It looks amazing.
42:28Wow.
42:28Delicious mocktails for us.
42:29Let's get a little drunky and maybe have a little bumpy.
42:33An apology would be nice for, like, all this you called me.
42:36This friendship is dead.
42:38It's done.
42:39Like, you're crazy.
42:40Oh, it just makes me want to cry thinking about it.
42:42It took me over two hours to get home.
42:43She's crying.
42:44I'm crying.
42:45We're both crying.
42:46I'm sorry.
42:46I think I'm just, like, on the verge of burnout.
42:50I think we're all
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