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Short filmTranscript
00:07This was, like, his third or fourth birthday,
00:12and he was very happy here.
00:19You've always stressed out.
00:20He'd come hug me and tell me he loves me and things like that.
00:25It's just sad how his life turned out.
00:28How, at that moment, you didn't think anything
00:30was going to turn out the way it did,
00:33and how you'd give anything in the world to get that back.
00:39And you're never going to get it back.
00:54Deputies say this Pasco County man is in jail for purposely running over a 75-year-old veteran,
01:00the sheriff calling him pure evil.
01:08I used to go to the roadside where he was murdered all the time,
01:11and sit there and cry to him and say, I'm so sorry.
01:21Many, many nights I've sat on that roadside wishing it was me.
01:46Everybody just blamed me for raising him to be a murderer.
01:51Everybody said he was a monster.
01:55He was never a monster.
01:59He's not a monster.
02:03I can just love him because I wasn't able to fix him.
02:26I can just survive.
02:51When I'm alone, I think about this, I get very, very sad.
02:55I think about the could've, would've, should've, but I don't know what I could've done different.
03:01I don't know how I could've stopped him if I knew I would've stopped him, found a way
03:07to stop him.
03:09I get very sad.
03:10I get sad that I don't get to see his future, I don't get to see his wedding, his kids.
03:16Now I get to hear about his, whatever milestones you go through in prison.
03:25I'm very ashamed because that's not ever what I would've imagined him to do.
03:32Very ashamed.
03:38I feel like I still don't know a lot about, about what happened.
03:44That's kind of something I'm trying to learn.
04:04There's nothing that I would find out that my son did that would ever stop me from loving
04:10him and that would ever stop me from being there for him because that's my promise as
04:14mom, so I'm going to be there for my kids no matter what.
04:22911, what is the address of the emergency?
04:26I'm down by Old Dixie behind Sea Pine.
04:28I just killed someone.
04:30How did that happen?
04:32I just hit him.
04:34Hit him with what?
04:35My car.
04:37Was he walking down the road and you accidentally hit him?
04:40No, I intentionally hit him.
04:41You intentionally hit him?
04:43Yes, sir.
04:44I don't know what's wrong with me.
04:46I don't know what's wrong with me.
04:57He sounded strangely calm.
05:01I don't know why he sounded so calm.
05:04I didn't know he sounded like that.
05:29That's me, Justin.
05:33I was still only 19 then, so yeah.
05:36I was very young.
05:39What do you remember about that day?
05:42How blessed, how happy I was.
05:45I felt like my world was complete.
05:49Seeing him for the first time, oh my God, he's perfect.
05:55That is a deep love that I've never felt before.
05:58It's just a lifelong connection.
06:02I felt like I was doing something right for a change by bringing him into the world.
06:24I knew, like, things were off with him.
06:26I'd hate to say around the time he started school.
06:29He started, well, we called them night terrors.
06:35He would wander the house at night.
06:38Sometimes you could hear him walking around.
06:41One night, we were in bed, sound asleep.
06:46I'd wake up with him right in my face.
06:48We didn't know he was in there.
06:49He'd just be sitting there staring at us, which is terrifying.
06:54And I'd try to talk to him, and he wouldn't say anything.
06:59I had to wake my husband up, because I was scared, you know?
07:02I didn't know what he was thinking or what he was doing.
07:06That's like, you see that in horror videos.
07:09It was scary, very scary.
07:12But then after a minute, he, like, just would snap out of it.
07:15And like, I'm okay.
07:17Yeah, I'm awake.
07:17And he'd talk to me, and then go back to bed.
07:22But it was so creepy.
07:23It was so crazy to me.
07:34Justin's freak-outs would be very stressful,
07:37especially when you have three kids all together.
07:42He'd get very stressed out and very angst and very angry all the time,
07:47because he couldn't just communicate what he wanted to say and things.
07:52We would play games with him all the time.
07:55But if things weren't going his way or if he wasn't winning,
07:58he would just get angry.
08:00He'd just flip the board and stomp off and scream,
08:02and then I'd go and talk to him, and he'd just argue and scream at me.
08:07He'd just have complete meltdowns.
08:11I remember one specific time I had to come pick him up from school,
08:14because he got so frustrated that he bit somebody on the arm.
08:20So it was very hard.
08:23Very stressful.
08:43It was real early in the morning, and I was just, like, ripping him apart.
08:48What were you thinking?
08:49What were your plans?
08:50Like, how long did you think you were going to get away with it?
08:53And when I said that, he was like,
08:55well, I was going to get away with it because my plan was I was going to kill all of
08:59you guys.
09:00He was going to slit all our throats because he didn't want us running after him.
09:06My heart just dropped.
09:11My heart dropped, and I said, well, do you just not love us?
09:14Do you not care about us?
09:15And he goes, no, but that's why I wanted to do it.
09:17I wanted to kill you guys so that you wouldn't hurt.
09:22If I just killed you all, then no one would have to feel anything anymore.
09:28I felt scared.
09:29I felt anger.
09:30I felt hurt.
09:31He felt hurt.
09:32So then I felt even more hurt because he was hurt.
09:37And I told him that it would have caused so much pain for so many other people.
09:43And I needed you to understand that.
09:45I need you to see it like that.
09:48He says, yeah, I know.
09:49I see that and I understand that now, but I didn't care at the time.
09:56A big part of me just wanted to put it in the back of my head.
10:01I didn't want to see him that way.
10:03I didn't want no one to see him that way.
10:07That's what I would tell myself.
10:09He was never going to do that.
10:10He said it, but he didn't mean it.
10:11It was just, it's Justin.
10:13He would never do that.
10:27Almost 24 hours after a driver hit and killed a pedestrian, deputies are now calling the case a homicide.
10:33The suspect, his name is Justin Pinnell, 21 year old male.
10:37And he absolutely admits to our deputies and our detectives that he had the intention to kill somebody.
10:43This is one of those things that when you talk to society how evil things are, this man is absolutely
10:49evil.
10:49It's almost for him pleasurable.
11:03After Justin did what he did, our house was on the news.
11:08So every day it was kind of scary.
11:11There were people saying that they're going to drive by our house and send bullets through our windows.
11:18We just wanted to get away and start over, start different.
11:24So we kind of left Florida, up and left Florida.
11:28Back in Florida, it kind of felt like I had a light shining down on me and everybody knew.
11:44The TV is his.
11:46There's a dresser over there.
11:49Yeah, that little lamp right there is his.
11:53I don't know why I hang onto it.
11:55It's just, it's so many memories.
11:56There's memories everywhere.
11:59I just keep things like that.
12:03I have Justin's baby book.
12:13His ultrasound pictures.
12:15His little fingers.
12:19A little head, face.
12:21This bracelet that he wore at the hospital.
12:28Um, what I looked like then.
12:34Pictures of him, more pictures.
12:35Like his first holidays.
12:36His Halloween.
12:38His Christmas.
12:42Growing up, it was just us against the world, no matter what.
12:45He was my person.
12:46I was his person.
12:47Mm-hmm.
12:52And there's, you know, things I wrote to him.
12:56Up here it says, Justin, always remember, no matter what, mommy will always be there for you.
13:02She may not like some of the things you're going to do, but I'll always stand behind you 100%.
13:10He had a trunk full of clothes and stuff like that.
13:12And I'll go through his clothes and hug him and be sad because it's just like, I lost him.
13:18I don't have him here no more.
13:20And I won't get rid of his stuff.
13:22Probably because he'll never even see it again or even use it again.
13:25But that's just all I have left of him.
13:27It still smells like him.
13:28It still feels like him sometimes.
13:29And I won't get rid of his stuff.
13:33Ever.
13:45So Justin was like 15 years old when we lost my nephew, his cousin.
13:50He was like another one of my kids.
13:53He got hit by a car.
13:56I think I was telling my daughter and she started to cry and Justin started to laugh.
14:03And I asked him, what was he laughing about?
14:05And he's like, it's not that it happened to him.
14:08But I'm just picturing it happening in my head almost like a cartoon.
14:11And that's what makes me laugh.
14:14Were you surprised that he started to laugh?
14:19I honestly, by that time, I wasn't because it seems to be like his reaction towards everything that hurt people,
14:28honestly.
14:28He would just always find a way to laugh about it and think it was funny.
14:35There was a time we watched somebody get hit by a car.
14:39I think Justin might have been like 10 or 11.
14:45And unfortunately, like she flew in the air.
14:48And he laughed about it.
14:51And he, I would just be like, what is going on?
14:58Absolutely. Absolutely.
15:00I mean, for the longest time, that's all I kept seeing over and over and over again.
15:06That just hit me.
15:07So sorry. You guys, just give me a minute.
15:09That just hit me.
15:12That, that, he saw that accident and that's what he did.
15:22It's like you don't think all the little moments that you go through in life could possibly, you know,
15:30lead up to maybe the things that he did or went through himself.
15:34And I don't know.
15:48I was sitting watching TV probably around the time Justin was coming home from school.
15:53I think it was like a show I was watching about kids killing animals and things like that.
15:59And, and I was like, I have never seen or heard of you doing anything like that, Justin.
16:04So you're good. You know, you're on the, you know, and it was like a lighthearted, you know, thing.
16:07And then he told me the story about the duck.
16:20So my dad was watching him and he, there's like a little lake down by where my dad was living.
16:26And he would walk down there and he said that he was sitting there on the log.
16:30And the ducks come up and they were just loud and, and noising.
16:34And, and it, it was just too much. Like he felt like it was so much.
16:38And he just picked it up and slammed it into a log.
16:44He just kept doing it. He said, he just kept, kept doing it.
16:47And then he stopped and was like, what was I doing? Why did I do that?
16:54Like, I don't understand. Like, he just said like something switched in his brain.
16:59Yeah, it created a red flag in the back of my brain that he might be a psychopath.
17:04Like something, something is not right with him. Something's not right in his head.
17:32I need Justin to call me every day because I need to feel that comfort. I need to hear his
17:38voice. I need to know he's okay.
17:42Every day I told him to call around a certain time of day so that what my husband would think
17:45he wasn't calling every day.
17:48Because it would cause fights.
17:54My husband, he doesn't think it needs to be done every day. He doesn't like that I spend any money
17:59to talk to him.
18:02It's very hard. It's very hard to try and get my husband to understand why I can't just shut that
18:09door on him.
18:10Why I can't just, okay, this is what you did. Here you go. And just like close that chapter.
18:17It's very hard to explain that to my husband when he doesn't know how a maternal bond is or the
18:23feeling of, you know, of being a mom.
18:29But we have many, many talks as much as many of us had arguments and we've come a long, long
18:35ways.
18:36And he, you know, he's more understanding of it because I've been very vocal with him about it.
18:43Because I don't want to lose my husband and I don't want to lose my son.
18:48I feel like the last five years has just been me having to explain why I feel the way I
18:55feel all the time with everybody.
19:02But I'm never going to stop loving my kids. I'm never going to stop not trying to be there for
19:08them the best that I can.
19:09That's my baby boy. He will always be my baby boy.
19:27I would make it a point to talk to him almost every other day. Check in with him. How you
19:32feeling? Like, but tell me how you're really feeling deep down and things like that.
19:37He would tell me, I haven't been able to sleep in days because I keep hearing these voices. And I'm
19:43like, voices like how? What do you mean?
19:45Well, they're just telling me to do things. They're telling me to hurt others. And recently they've been more telling
19:52me to hurt you.
19:54It's scaring me and I don't know what to think and I don't know how to feel about it, but
19:58I feel like I could do it. I feel like I could follow through with it.
20:02I told him I was scared. And to be honest, I'm here, Justin, I'm going to be open and honest
20:07with you. Now I'm scared. I'm scared of you.
20:11He was scared and you could see it.
20:15I felt sad. I felt sad for him because he didn't know what he was feeling.
20:28My husband was terrified. I'm terrified. My husband didn't trust him. My husband didn't trust anything.
20:37He was scared. He was scared that Justin was going to come in and kill the both of us.
20:40Every night when we'd go to bed, he'd lock that door.
20:55It's scary because you've got to go in and face these doctors that have never seen you a day in
21:01their life.
21:02And your son's saying these things.
21:06I was scared for my son because he was scared. I've never seen him so scared.
21:14So they put him on medication to help him sleep because he wasn't sleeping.
21:20But the doctors weren't concerned. The doctors didn't perceive him as a threat.
21:25No, they did not perceive him as a threat. They weren't concerned.
21:28They told me that my daughters would be safe, that we'd be safe, that it was nothing to be afraid
21:34of.
21:46This is Justin in his JROTC uniform. He made Cadet of the Month that year.
21:56They had to wear a uniform every Tuesday or Thursday.
22:01It seems like he lived for that kind of structure, yeah.
22:06He was hoping to go into the military and he was meeting with recruiters.
22:10My husband said, I think that you really want to do it because it's basically giving you a license to
22:16kill.
22:16And Justin told him, well, when you put it that way, yeah, maybe that is a thought somewhere in my
22:24head where it has come across as a thought.
22:31And Justin said, I don't see why there would be anything wrong with it.
22:35I mean, if they're giving me a license basically and a gun to do it, I would do no problem,
22:42you know, if that's what they needed me to do.
23:04He started talking to me about his thoughts one day.
23:10I was sitting at home and he'd come in and I'd just ask him how his day was.
23:13And he would tell me how he had a thought of one day he would sneak into somebody's house and
23:20kill the whole family.
23:24My reaction was smacking him across the side of the head and asking him, first of all, why would you
23:29say that?
23:30Second of all, why would you think it? Like, who thinks that?
23:32Like, I don't even understand what even gets your mind to that thought or what's going on in your head
23:38that you have that thought.
23:40We fight about it. And then he would leave.
23:47I used to always worry about him when he was gone.
23:50Every night, he'd either go for a bike ride, go work out or go jog.
23:55He was really into working out.
23:58And there'd be times where he wouldn't respond to my phone calls and text messages.
24:04So then I'd worry that maybe he's doing it.
24:08Maybe he's actually, like, following through with his thoughts or something.
24:12I was worried that I might find him on the news.
24:19My husband and I both tried like hell to get help.
24:22We reached out to the police stations. We reached out to counseling lines.
24:25We ended it.
24:28The police station even said,
24:31I'm so sorry, but there's really nothing we can do until he actually commits a crime.
24:36And I remember breaking down and flipping out on him.
24:38I'm like, so it's going to take that? It's going to take that?
24:41What if the crime is going to be so bad that you can't come back from it?
24:45And then it was.
24:56Reports show Pedal called 911 not to call for help, but because he had hit an electric pole and couldn't
25:03go anywhere.
25:04Detectives say that's when he admitted to dispatch that he purposely ran over a man and could see the terror
25:10in the pedestrian's eyes.
25:14The news on there's been some kind of accident and said that they found a body on the side of
25:20the road.
25:22I think my daughter was the one that found a picture of my son's car and sent it to me.
25:28And we drove to the road and before we could even get very far on the road at the entrance,
25:33there was, you know, police everywhere that were stopping people.
25:40Then I ran up to a cop and I was like, hey, I think that's my son's car.
25:45I think, you know, something's going on with my son.
25:46I need to know what's going on.
25:48And they asked me who my son was and I told them.
25:51And they're like, well, just wait right here.
25:54A detective came up and told me they weren't exactly clear of the details yet or what was going on.
26:00But they believe my son hit and killed somebody.
26:03And they believe he hit and killed him on purpose.
26:09I don't know how to describe it.
26:11I couldn't make sense of my thoughts.
26:13I couldn't make sense of anything.
26:15Just one horrible dream.
26:17It's a nightmare.
26:18None of this is true.
26:19I didn't want to wake up from it.
26:36Hello.
26:36You have a call at no expense to you from...
26:40Joseph.
26:41An inmate at Lando Lake Detention Center.
26:45To accept this call, press 5.
26:47To refuse this call, hang out now.
26:50Hi, Bobby.
26:52Hey, Mom.
26:53How you doing?
26:54Good, are you?
26:55I'm doing good.
26:56I just wanted to let you know I'm here with everybody now.
26:59And we are being filmed now.
27:00And you're okay with that, correct?
27:04Yeah.
27:04She told me about how you guys wanted to interview her.
27:08And then you talked about showing her some of the videos and stuff.
27:12So is there anything that you're worried about her seeing?
27:15I get worried at how she might react to it.
27:18Because I end up hurting a lot more people than just the Mr. Pratt family.
27:24And I do feel guilty about that at times.
27:26And I don't know how she might perceive that.
27:29There's no justification or excuse.
27:31You just...
27:33Sorry, that was the bad control of myself at the time.
27:37Sorry that you had to go out and spare this.
27:43I mean, I know you think better of me, but...
27:50You're a better mom than I am, that's fine.
28:03I love you, Justin.
28:05I love you too, mom.
28:06I miss you.
28:09I miss you.
28:09I miss you too, mom.
28:19I miss you too.
28:20I miss you too.
28:22I miss you too.
28:24I miss you too.
28:26I miss you too.
28:27I miss you too.
28:27I miss you too.
28:28I miss you too.
28:28I miss you too.
28:30I miss you too.
28:31I miss you too.
28:33I miss you too.
28:37I miss you too.
28:37I miss you too.
28:38I miss you too.
28:40I miss you too.
28:41Yeah, I got you, bro.
28:46I still haven't lost faith in my son.
28:49But he did do it.
28:51He did, not me, but he did kill someone.
28:54He did hurt someone.
28:57And I still have not lost that faith in him,
29:01and I can't explain it.
29:06I just, deep down inside, feel that that wasn't him.
29:09That's not him.
29:09That's not the Justin I know.
29:11That's not him.
29:34I want to know his exact thoughts.
29:36I want to know his exact thoughts leading up to it.
29:38What was he thinking sitting in the car?
29:39What came through his brain when he saw Mr. Pratt on the side of the road?
29:43I want to know those thoughts.
29:48Of course I'm scared I'm going to find something out that I don't know,
29:51or something about him that I don't know.
30:07Were you in route to somewhere specific today?
30:11No, sir.
30:13I don't want to say I'm hearing voices.
30:14It's just, it just kept sounding like I should kill someone, I should kill someone.
30:20Maybe it might make me feel better.
30:21Maybe it might make me happier.
30:25And so recently I've been driving around these roads that I know that people occasionally walk on and looking for
30:31people I could hit while avoiding witnesses.
30:34I don't know why I want to do this.
30:37I don't know why I want to do this.
30:37I just, I also just wanted to calm down.
30:41I ended up going down here at Pika.
30:43That's when I saw the old guy with the cane.
30:45And then I made a U-turn.
30:46He was going into the grass.
30:48He was trying to avoid me because he saw me going for him.
30:50But I just want for him.
30:58All I've got for you is what the f***.
31:01That's pretty painful to hear, yeah?
31:03Yeah.
31:03Yep.
31:05He made a U-turn to hit a man, an old man with a cane.
31:11Yeah.
31:14And sped up and aimed right for him.
31:19That's what he said he did.
31:23And what the f*** is going through your head while doing it?
31:26And you, it's just, you could have just swerved the other way and not have done it.
31:32You know, something in your mind had that pull so tight, so strong that you just followed through with it.
31:42I don't, I don't understand that.
31:44I don't, I could never put myself in that frame of mind because I could never do that.
31:49So, I got no words.
32:01The guy called and said he hit him on purpose.
32:04Do you hear that?
32:04Okay?
32:05Yeah.
32:06All right, well, let's get a sheet.
32:08Okay?
32:08All right, we'll mark it off.
32:14Did you hear him say anything?
32:17No, I saw his reaction.
32:18What was that?
32:20You know, that oh, s*** moment?
32:22What were your thoughts like when that, right at that moment?
32:26Do you remember?
32:28I just smiled and laughed.
32:32Let's just say I answered one question I was wanting to answer, which was, how would I feel like to
32:37kill someone?
32:38And how does it feel?
32:42I mean, when I did it, I, I was laughing.
32:46I mean, I enjoyed it, but afterwards, after I calmed down a bit, I wouldn't say I felt regretful.
32:57I mean, to be perfectly honest, I was more ashamed that I broke the car the way I did when
33:02I killed the person.
33:11I don't know, I don't, I don't, I really can't think right now.
33:13My, my mind is just fricking.
33:24Are you more angry or worse, Dad?
33:30Equal amounts of both, honestly.
33:33Like, I don't, like...
33:41I don't know, this is where I feel like my, my, my, my brain is just trying to shut down
33:45to process it.
33:49And I'm trying to be, you know, open and honest, but I don't have it right now, because I still
33:55have to process it.
33:59Because the mom in me still is feeling the hurt he's feeling.
34:03Like, he's not sounding like he hurts.
34:05He's not, you know, probably showing like he hurts, but I feel like he's hurting.
34:11It's just the mama bear to me that's always going to want to fight for him no matter what.
34:15Because I can fix him.
34:16I can fix him and I can make him better somehow, some way.
34:19I can fix him and make him better.
34:26I can just love him, because I wasn't able to fix him.
34:37Is there anything when, when we go talk to your mom that you want us to like relay for you?
34:41I know you haven't had a chance to talk with her.
34:42I would recommend keeping details of the case private, simply because she might get a bit emotional and that might
34:48make your investigation get hard.
34:50It's not a matter of, like, I want to tell her myself, it's just a matter of, these things are
34:59a bit sensitive to her.
35:01And, well, yeah, I mean, it might make things a bit complicated.
35:15You had mentioned that you had thoughts of doing this, you wanted to do this.
35:20Is this the only way you imagined doing it, or had you imagined doing it in other methods, like some
35:27other way?
35:29I mean, I had, I'm really fond with knives.
35:32It's, I was thinking about slicing people up and cutting them open, dissecting them, essentially.
35:38Yeah.
35:39But you've never done that before?
35:41No.
35:56That's, um, that's hard to hear, yeah?
36:01Yeah, especially since it was kind of a brought up in a conversation between my husband and I yesterday, because
36:07I asked him what made that thing click in his brain that he was, that made him super scared, or
36:13just made him start locking the doors, because I never really fully understood it.
36:17It was because Justin was starting to collect knives, and he was sharpening them every day, and he had no
36:23reason to.
36:25But now hearing this is just insane, mind-blowing, and I feel so bad for my husband and all this.
37:20What the f***?
37:24What the f***?
37:25It literally looks like a murder kit.
37:30Like, there's so much more to him that I didn't see.
37:38There's so much more to him that I didn't know.
37:49How does that happen?
37:50And, like, that's my boy.
37:58That was my life.
38:21Oh, my soul is crushed right now.
38:52You talked to Justin last night.
38:54What was your conversation like?
38:55What did you say to him?
38:56What the f***?
38:57You pretty much said and did everything a psychopath would do.
39:02Like, you even mentioned it without saying to yourself, you were a psychopath, Justin.
39:07So, I don't understand.
39:15He said he doesn't remember saying those things.
39:18He doesn't know why he would do that or be like that.
39:21He doesn't know why he did any of the stuff that he did.
39:25Do you believe him?
39:52He doesn't know why he did any of the things that he did.
39:56I do feel like I can breathe differently.
39:59Like, there's not so much of a weight.
40:03Knowing that I somehow raised a murderer is petrifying.
40:13I know it's not the hardest, but I know it's one of the hardest things that a parent would
40:17ever have to do or go through or feel and think.
40:21And I'm still trying to process my thoughts and feelings right now.
40:34Well, no parent ever looks at their little kid and thinks that he's going to be a murderer
40:37someday.
40:38Period.
40:40Being the parent of a murderer is, it's not easy.
40:45It can be lonely as well, because people just don't understand.
40:48Do you think you killed somebody?
40:51Up until that point, it never felt wrong to love either one of my children.
40:59I used my hands to suffocate my kids.
41:02Who did you use the belt on?
41:04Babies.
41:05Well, I'll tell you right now, a bear is a god, and they do forgive him?
41:08Send me to hell, because I don't want to be there with him.
41:11That was faint on the window, and I was telling him, you're going to fry .
41:14You're going to fry for this.
41:16And I pray to God my son never sees this, but I was going to shoot him in the back
41:20of
41:20the head.
41:21I swear to God, and it's so hard to make anyone believe, but I was looking at a devil.
41:27I swear to God whoå°± asked him and that's pretty true since the last year NOVEMI
41:29And it's
41:29just in the now circle. We are doing
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