- 2 days ago
The Queen of Hip-Hop Soul, Mary J. Blige, joins Liz Hernandez inside our Los Angeles studios to talk about her journey to personal healing and her upcoming Las Vegas residency.
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00:0094.7 The Wave, the soul of Southern California welcomes the soul hip-hop queen, Mary J. Blige.
00:08Hello, Mary.
00:09Hello.
00:10First, before we begin, I want to express my gratitude to you.
00:15Before I got myself into therapy, which has been many years now, you were my therapist.
00:20You were the person that was so authentic and sincere with your lyrics.
00:28Not just myself, for a whole generation of us.
00:31You made us feel seen.
00:32You made us feel less alone.
00:34You took out some of the shame from what we are feeling.
00:37Does that register to you that you've done that for us?
00:41Well, now it does because so many people say it to me.
00:44It definitely registers.
00:46But I think that you feel it and it registers to you and is relative to you because I was
00:52in so much pain.
00:53And it was my therapy was singing and writing and getting all this stuff out.
00:59I think about how many women, and maybe men too, they were going through a divorce, sat in their cars,
01:08cried to not go and cry.
01:14Like, you don't even have to have gone through a divorce to feel that disappointment and that heartbreak.
01:21And every time that song comes on till this day, it's like I'm going through it again.
01:26Yeah, well, lyric, you know, like lyrically, even if I didn't write it and someone wrote it for me, because
01:32Babyface wrote Not Gonna Cry.
01:34And it was like he was following me around in my life or something like that, because that's what I
01:39was really dealing with.
01:41And so that's why, you know, people are able to feel it, because I don't take I don't like let's
01:47say if you wrote a song for me.
01:47If it's not relative to what I, you know, if it doesn't resonate, if it doesn't resonate, I'm not going
01:53to sing it.
01:54I'm not going to sing some stuff that I don't believe, you know, and that won't help me to heal.
02:00So that's what Not Gonna Cry is about.
02:02You know, it's a hit record, but, you know, it's a hit record because everybody was able to relate to
02:08it.
02:08You know, so many women and men, too.
02:10There's a lot of people, period, you know, that relate to my music.
02:13Not just women.
02:14There's a lot of men that love I'm going down.
02:16Oh, for sure.
02:18And I think it's because it doesn't matter if you hit the simplest note.
02:22There's so much emotion in your voice.
02:25And that's the sincerity of of you just not singing along to a lyric.
02:30It's you relating to it.
02:32So then we relate to you.
02:33Right.
02:34Yeah.
02:34I mean, I've been I was living most of this stuff, you know, and and now I'm living, you know,
02:41a whole nother journey.
02:43You know, I'm turning it around.
02:44I'm really when I said I wanted to be happy.
02:47All I really want is to be happy.
02:48I really meant that I really wanted to be happy.
02:50I really didn't want to be in the pain that I was in.
02:53It was so much pain.
02:54I mean, so I made I did the work and I continue to do to do the work so I
02:59don't get stuck.
03:00You know, I didn't want to get stuck there because if I stay there, then this life here is going
03:05to be it's going to be horrible.
03:06Yeah.
03:07Yeah.
03:08And the beauty of it is that you've taken us on that journey.
03:10We've been all over the map with you.
03:12We go back to 411 and I think about, you know, you're you're looking for real love and then you're
03:19having the crush with sweet thing.
03:21And then we go through the heartbreak with you.
03:23We go to party with Mary.
03:25We go to Just Fine and we go to Family Affair and then we see Mary falling in love, Be
03:33Without You and my everything.
03:35Like there's so you've taken us everywhere, Mary.
03:38And then when I heard Good Morning Gorgeous, there was something that made me so excited because I was like,
03:47oh, Mary's tapping into the power of words.
03:49Because Mary understands how powerful positive affirmations are.
03:55Yeah.
03:56How powerful our words are, period.
03:58And when did that switch happen for you?
04:01Because like I said, we're on this journey of you of self-discovery.
04:05You're going through hardships.
04:06You're going through relationship struggles, not just with people in your life, but we're seeing you grow that relationship with
04:14yourself.
04:14Yeah.
04:14So what was that pivotal moment where you were like, I got to be kind and compassionate to me?
04:22I think the pivotal moment was when I got the divorce.
04:28And it was it was before that, too, because and on the way to that point, I started to realize
04:37that if I don't love myself and like myself and appreciate myself or learn how to do this.
04:46I'm going to keep making the same mistake over and over again, these same mistakes over and over again.
04:51And I was watching, you know, I do a lot of like self-help books and pastors and people like
04:56that to help me.
04:56I was watching T.D. Jakes one day and he said in his sermon that, you know, it's not what
05:01people believe about you.
05:02That's that's a powerful is what you believe about you and what you think about you is more effective than
05:09what anybody else could believe or think about you.
05:11And that was the turning point. I started speaking those things in the morning before I go to the gym.
05:17I say, good morning, gorgeous. Good morning, beautiful. You're going to have a great day.
05:21I started speaking it. And I didn't believe I was gorgeous. I don't believe any of that yet.
05:26But as I started speaking it and believing it, it started to take place in here.
05:31You started planting the seeds.
05:32Yeah, it started to take place in my heart and in my spirit. And then it started to manifest through
05:37my eyes.
05:38I was able to see, oh, my God, Mary, you you really are beautiful.
05:42You're not a bad looking person, you know, but stunning.
05:46I mean, but, you know, when you don't know, you don't know.
05:48Exactly. And so that's when the manifestation took.
05:52And that's what was able to get me out of that situation and get me here to where I blame
05:59nobody for anything.
06:00People did what they did. It's my responsibility to grow and move forward.
06:07Right. Right. But I love that.
06:09And I really want people to hear that about the power of words that you may not believe it in
06:14the beginning, but the brain learns through repetition.
06:17Yes. And the more you repeat it to yourself, it's with anything, the more you begin to believe the message.
06:22Seriously, if you if you keep saying you're stupid and you don't get anything right, you're never going to get
06:26anything right and you're going to be stupid.
06:27But if you say I'm beautiful, I'm powerful, I'm kind, I'm patient, you know, like just your self-taught creates
06:34your future.
06:34Yes, absolutely.
06:36Yeah. Let's go back to Mary on what's the 411.
06:40What advice or what would you tell her now, knowing everything that, you know, knowing the self-love tools that
06:48you have now, if you could give her something to grasp on to, what would that be?
06:55First thing is coming to my mind. Don't be afraid of what you're feeling, what you're feeling.
07:02That fear is you being afraid of who you're about to become.
07:07And it's I know why you're afraid because it's big and you have no idea how big it is.
07:13And so I would tell her just don't be afraid of what that is.
07:17Step into it, you know, if she would listen.
07:21But that's what I tell her.
07:23I love that. I love that.
07:24There there is a line on the album Growing Pains.
07:28I love that album so much and feel like a woman.
07:32I remember you giving me permission to let go of some shame around.
07:38You know, at that time we were like, Miss Independent.
07:40I'm independent. I got this. I got me.
07:42I can pay my own bills. I can take care of myself.
07:45But you say, I'm tired of being independent.
07:47I want to start depending on you.
07:50And I was like, Mary, thank you.
07:53Because as much as, yes, women, we are crushing it, but we shouldn't feel shame around wanting or craving a
08:03partner to be emotionally there for us.
08:06Absolutely. That's what we need.
08:08We need someone to come home from work and fall on or someone that wants to support us in that
08:13way, like really wants to support us in that way.
08:17It's nothing wrong with it.
08:19But honestly, someone that really supports you, someone that really loves you, someone that really wants you to win, that's
08:27a blessing.
08:29It's a blessing to be able to rest your head on somebody's chest and be like, oh, thank you so
08:33much.
08:34I love you.
08:34You know what I mean?
08:35To lean into that.
08:36You know, for women, it's leaning into that feminine energy.
08:38For men, it's leaning into that masculine energy or whoever your partner is.
08:42I had an incident where I had something happen in my yard and my neighbor helped me out and he
08:48saw that I was struggling.
08:50And he said, listen, I understand how hard it is to be the woman of your household and to be
08:54the man of your household.
08:55Mary, I felt so seen.
08:57I like I like fell into his arms and cried.
08:59I was like, thank you.
09:01Thank you for seeing me.
09:02Yes.
09:03And just helping me.
09:04Yes.
09:04That's what we need.
09:05And, you know, OK, women rule the world.
09:08We don't need.
09:08No, I I'm not going to say I don't need a man.
09:12We need connection.
09:13We need what we what how God created us.
09:17We need a man.
09:18A man needs a woman.
09:19We need each other.
09:20You know, we need someone.
09:21You know, we need somebody to, you know, help us through through this.
09:26We can't do it.
09:28You know, we can't do it alone.
09:30You know, you know, you know, I am woman.
09:33Hear me roar.
09:34I get it.
09:34Hear me roar.
09:35But man is supposed to be in our lives to help us lead.
09:40He's supposed to help us.
09:42Think about a family, a child that's healthy.
09:44A mother and a father was involved in that.
09:47Yeah.
09:47The harmonious balance.
09:48Yes.
09:49Being able to have the most exposure to two different things and creating a safe space with both sexes, I
09:56think, is really beautiful.
09:58Absolutely.
09:59Absolutely.
10:00Or just two caregivers.
10:01I think that's really what it's about.
10:02It's like having two caregivers in your life, whatever partner you choose.
10:06It's just about having that loving environment.
10:09The most beautiful thing is having a safe space, a comfort zone, someone that a hug is the most amazing
10:17thing.
10:17You know what I'm saying?
10:18When you're going through so much, you got the world on your shoulders, your celebrity, you're working in corporate America,
10:25whatever you're doing.
10:26It's so nice to have somebody to fall on and help you.
10:29I love that you're saying this because I don't think people talk about this enough that, you know, when we
10:34talk about healing, we say like therapy or talk to a friend, confide in your sister or whatever.
10:40But we fail to mention how healing touches, like a hug.
10:46Like I'll go get a massage just because I crave that tenderness.
10:50Yeah.
10:51But what about a massage from someone that you want to give you a massage?
10:56Well, then that's top tier, Mary.
10:58What about that?
10:59You know, what about that hug that you give from that person that wants to, that want to give you
11:05that hug?
11:06Yeah.
11:06That's incredible.
11:08This priceless.
11:10That's what we, you know, that's, that's what feels like a woman is about.
11:13Like, I'm tired of screaming independent.
11:15I want to start depending on you.
11:17There's nothing wrong with that.
11:19Yes, please, baby Jesus.
11:20Right.
11:20But it doesn't mean you're supposed to lose your life.
11:22No.
11:23Lose yourself.
11:23No, you don't disappear.
11:25Keep yourself, but keep, you know, the balance.
11:28Yeah.
11:29What if you learn, Mary?
11:30Because it's like, I'm looking at you and you, you know, I've had the privilege.
11:35This is a full circle moment for me.
11:36I've interviewed you when I was in Big Boy's neighborhood, when I was at E! News, when I was at
11:41Access Hollywood.
11:42You probably don't even remember when I was at MTV.
11:43I've interviewed you.
11:44I remember you from all little places.
11:46Your entire career, I've been following you.
11:49And now here we are sitting down together all these years later.
11:52And I'm looking at you and I can genuinely say, like, you are glowing.
11:58You seem just very healthy.
12:00Mind, body, soul.
12:02I, you want to ask the question?
12:06What have you learned about the relationship with you that has been the most powerful?
12:12I've learned that I cannot lean on what was to dictate what is.
12:23And that's trust.
12:25That's trust in myself, you know, in the hands of, you know, in the hands of God, in the hands
12:31of something I don't even, the unknown.
12:35And stop depending on what was.
12:38You know, this looks familiar.
12:40This is suspicious.
12:42This is that.
12:42Just depend on what I don't know and step into what I don't know.
12:47And in stepping into what I don't know, I find so much beauty, you know.
12:51And I think the thing that scares people the most when it comes to learning the self-love thing is
13:00being alone and lonely.
13:05It's okay to be alone and learn yourself.
13:11It's all right.
13:12It's a little painful.
13:13But once you practice it, it gets easier to enjoy your own company.
13:20So I'm learning every single day.
13:22It's not something that I've learned.
13:23I'm learning every single day how to enjoy my own company.
13:27We all want someone all the time.
13:29But think about this.
13:30If they don't want to be there, I don't want them there.
13:33So I'd rather be by myself and love myself than to be chasing or praying for something that doesn't want
13:43me back.
13:45So if it wants me, oh, my God, it's a beautiful thing.
13:47Yeah.
13:47But what's so beautiful about this is when you say, I'm cool, I'm not going to force people against their
13:57will to do anything.
13:58I'm just going to be cool and just relax into me.
14:01Everything comes to you.
14:02When you relax into yourself and you say, all right, cool, no problem, and really mean it, everything, everybody just
14:10conforms.
14:11You move out of wanting into attracting.
14:13Exactly.
14:14Yeah.
14:14Exactly.
14:15So that's what I've learned.
14:16I've learned that I'm very powerful in that area.
14:19You know, I think fear stops us from, you know, all the things that receiving all the things that we're
14:28supposed to have because we are afraid to let everything else go.
14:32Yeah.
14:33And what you said, it's confirmation bias.
14:35It's if we've had one negative experience, like we didn't get that job, and then years later we apply for,
14:42you know, a new job and we don't get it.
14:44See, I knew that was going to happen.
14:45That always happens to me.
14:46Yeah.
14:47And we have to give ourselves a lot of compassion because the brain is hardwired for negative self-talk.
14:54It's positivity is like something we got to practice.
14:57It's the same way you practice eating well or exercising.
15:00Yes.
15:00Because it's all a muscle.
15:02Everything is a muscle.
15:03Everything.
15:04It needs to be worked.
15:05Yeah.
15:05If you don't work out, you're going to pay for it later.
15:08If you don't work your brain, if you keep your brain in 1994 and never try to work it out,
15:14you're going to be stuck in 1994.
15:16Yeah.
15:16So I've been doing the work.
15:17That's what therapy is for.
15:18That's what prayer is for.
15:19That's what time alone is for.
15:21That's all of that.
15:22So I've been doing it and I continue to do it.
15:24And it's not easy.
15:27No, it's not.
15:28But what you said is the truth.
15:31It's when you understand your worth and you understand, like, I'm not looking for someone to come and make me
15:36happy.
15:37I don't need someone to fill the hole.
15:39If you want to come and add some joy to my life, add some happiness with your own happiness, then
15:44there's space here for you.
15:46And that makes it great.
15:47It makes it so amazing when you can sit home alone and watch a movie and snack and laugh and
15:54just be partying by yourself.
15:56Like, I have a whole party by myself.
15:59When you can listen to Mary J. Blige's heartbreak songs and not be triggered.
16:03That's how you know you're doing good.
16:05And listen.
16:06Some of that stuff still makes me like, oh, man, it's because it's so heavy.
16:10Of course.
16:10That's your diary.
16:11But I can do it now, you know, because I don't have to.
16:15I'm no longer hurt Mary.
16:17I'm no longer Mary that needs and wants and is crying and dying over someone who didn't want me.
16:25I am someone.
16:26You want you.
16:27That wants me.
16:28Yeah.
16:28That's what I want me.
16:31I like me.
16:32I need me.
16:33And now I need you because you want me.
16:37Yeah.
16:38You see what I'm saying?
16:38Yes.
16:39Yeah.
16:39Yes.
16:40Like you said, it's not the chasing.
16:41It's the attracting.
16:42It's like, I understand the value of you being here with me.
16:47Not you're the source.
16:49Boom.
16:51There it is.
16:52Let's get into this residency.
16:55That deserves a bomb.
16:56I could talk to you all day, Mary.
16:58You know, I've been watching your growth and I feel very much in alignment with, like I said, you were
17:07my therapist before there was therapy.
17:08And I've grown with you.
17:10I've moved with you.
17:11I've partied with you.
17:12And so it made me so excited.
17:14I went to your For My Fans tour and I was out there singing at the top of my lungs.
17:19Thank you so much.
17:19And it made me so excited when you signed on for a Las Vegas residency.
17:25I'm excited.
17:26This is big time.
17:27And this is a long time coming.
17:30It's time.
17:30It's about time.
17:31My life, my story.
17:33It's going to happen at Dolby Live Park MGM.
17:36Why now, Mary?
17:37Was it a mindset of like, I'm in a great place.
17:41It feels like this is time.
17:43Well, timing is everything.
17:45And like years ago, a couple of people, you know, like you should do a residency.
17:49You should do a residency.
17:51You know, it didn't even, it just went over my head.
17:54You know, it was not something that I was even thinking about because I didn't think people would want me.
17:59You know, I didn't think people would want me.
18:01I didn't.
18:01You know, it's a big time.
18:02Vegas is a big time.
18:03It's a residency.
18:05If I get into so many people that this is why you have to have the right people working for
18:11you.
18:11When people don't know your worth, they sell you short.
18:15And then they always say things like, well, you can't get a residency.
18:18Well, you can't do this.
18:19You can't do that.
18:20Or if you do this, you'll have to do that.
18:22And if you get a residency, it can't be, you know, at the place.
18:25So you're like, oh, fuck it.
18:26I don't want it then at all.
18:27And so when it came, it came with the right place.
18:30MGM, it came with the right time.
18:33Everybody's excited.
18:34Live Nation is excited.
18:35MGM is excited.
18:37Fans are excited.
18:38Tickets are moving.
18:38Fans are excited.
18:39The team is excited.
18:40Everybody's excited.
18:40So it was perfect timing and everything fell into place.
18:45Before I was like, you know, a bunch of naysayers, people trying to sell you for less than what you
18:53are.
18:54And, you know, I wasn't having that.
18:56So now everything is in place.
18:58It's interesting because they say when you heal, energetically, you move up a level.
19:05And those people that were sort of the naysayers and the low vibrational people around you start to fall back.
19:13They fall off.
19:14They fall away.
19:16Yeah.
19:16And you see them.
19:17And you see them now.
19:19You see them really clear.
19:20You're like, oh, got to go.
19:21And now you start eliminating them quicker than normal, you know, than you normally did.
19:25I heard you say that on this residency, you may go dry.
19:31And I say that because I know you may.
19:35No pressure, Mary.
19:37I've been 13 months.
19:39No alcohol.
19:40Wow.
19:40Congrats to you.
19:42That's amazing.
19:42And part of the inspiration was myself just wanting better for myself, loving myself.
19:49Yes.
19:50My other inspiration was Tina Turner.
19:52I don't know if you saw the clip, but she said that when her career started taking off, and we
19:58know her career took off like in her 40s.
20:00Yeah.
20:00That it was when she let go of drugs and alcohol and her mind became so clear.
20:06Well, I'm going to tell you something.
20:08Right before I got the divorce, I was five years sober.
20:13Five.
20:14Wow.
20:14So you were very clear.
20:16I was super clear.
20:18I was superhero clear.
20:20I was five years sober, and I didn't know why I was, I knew I needed to stop drinking and
20:24doing all the stuff I was doing.
20:26And I needed to see, I needed to see my life clear because it was just a cesspool.
20:31And for five years, I stopped drinking.
20:35And I, I did the, I did the Mudbound movie.
20:39Like a couple of things happened during that time.
20:41And then when I came out of the divorce, I got two, two Oscar nominations.
20:45This, that, that, that, that.
20:48And if I could do it for five, I did it for five years.
20:51It was hard.
20:52That first two years was like, I need to drink.
20:55That's when I realized I was probably an alcoholic.
20:57I was like, oh God.
20:58Sorry.
20:58I only, I only get that way when I see people pop champagne or have like a beer with sushi.
21:03I'm like.
21:03Listen, everyone was drinking around me.
21:05Oh yeah.
21:06I'm sure.
21:06But I sat it, I sat it through.
21:08I sat through it five years.
21:09And by the time we got to the third year, I was like, man.
21:14And the fifth year, everything just said, I said, oh, time to go.
21:18Yeah.
21:18And when I heard you say this, I got so excited because I know you're a very faithful woman.
21:23And I thought she is going to be in such alignment that, and this again is my belief, that the
21:30message is just going to drop in.
21:31It's going to be so clear for her.
21:33And that's going to resonate out to her audience.
21:36Honey, it's going to resonate anyway.
21:39Well, yes.
21:40But it'll be even bigger.
21:41Yes, it'll be even bigger.
21:43Of course.
21:43Of course.
21:44You got to get your audience to say positive affirmations with you, Mary.
21:49I'm not going to say nothing.
21:51Okay.
21:52Okay.
21:52Okay.
21:52Maybe I'm on to something.
21:54When you first walked in, I was telling you we share someone really amazing in our lives.
21:58Our attorney, Dina LaFleur.
22:00Yeah, Dina.
22:01She's such a boss.
22:02And her and I were having a conversation about you one day.
22:05I think this was right after I saw you here in concert for my fans tour.
22:11And I just said to her, I said, Mary's voice is the voice of our generation.
22:17And I said, you could literally stand on that stage with just a mic and just sing.
22:25Like, you don't have to do anything else because we just want to hear you sing.
22:31Like, we just want to feel the feels with you.
22:35And when I said you helped heal a generation of us, it was so beautiful to me to look around
22:42the arena and be like, oh, she feels what I feel.
22:46He knows what I've been through.
22:48He relates to me.
22:49She relates to me.
22:50And yeah, I was just.
22:53Well, let me say this.
22:55You guys helped me to heal.
22:58You guys have pushed me when in places where I was like, I felt like giving up.
23:05I would see somebody on the street just for no reason.
23:07Please keep doing what you're doing.
23:08I love you.
23:09Please, please, please.
23:09And then I'm at my concerts.
23:12It's always love.
23:15It's always full.
23:16I don't even have to sing a word.
23:18I put the I remember we was at the Barclays Center and people were singing so hard.
23:25I had to put the mic down.
23:27Wow.
23:28It was crazy.
23:30And it's like that every show.
23:32So that heals me back.
23:34Just so you know, that's that's powerful.
23:37Yeah.
23:38So I thank my fans all the time.
23:40And I think just people in general who know who I am from acting to singing, who always
23:45say keep doing what you're doing.
23:47It goes longer.
23:48It goes further than what you think it goes.
23:50Yes.
23:51Mary, you got in the talent line like four times.
23:54I mean, I just think about when I think of your collaborations, how you can go anywhere.
24:00I think about Method Man and you for I'll be there.
24:03And then you jump on one with you two's Bono.
24:07And when he says, by the way, when he comes on, I just got chills right now.
24:11And he says, Mary, he drops that Mary.
24:14Every single time I hear that song without fail, I get the goosebumps just as I'm talking
24:19about it because it's like muscle memory over here.
24:23Is there a collaboration that's still on your wish list?
24:27On my wish list?
24:30Because you can go you can go toe to toe with anybody.
24:32I think I did so much already.
24:35But there's a couple, though.
24:38There's a couple that I didn't I can't I can't I don't want to say anything right now.
24:48Put it in the universe.
24:49Mary, power of words.
24:52I don't want to say anything, but I think, you know, George Michael was somebody I definitely
24:56wanted to do.
24:57And we did as together.
24:58That was man.
24:59That was a treat.
25:01You guys in studio together?
25:03No, we weren't.
25:04But we were in London in the video together.
25:06So I got a chance to meet him.
25:08And he was beautiful.
25:09What a nice man.
25:11I mean, friendly.
25:12He just was opening up and talking.
25:16And I was like, wow, George Michael is beautiful.
25:18I'm real down to earth.
25:20Beautiful.
25:21Elton John.
25:22That's one of my really good friends.
25:23Like that's one of the realists.
25:27And just I'm just grateful to have the friends that I have.
25:30Method Man, you know, just that.
25:32You know, that song stays on my playlist.
25:35Stays.
25:36All I need.
25:37Yes.
25:38Yeah.
25:38I listened to it this morning.
25:40Yeah.
25:40Yeah.
25:41I mean, I have a wide, you know, spread genre.
25:46I just do whatever I want.
25:47I didn't let people put me in a box.
25:49I just did whatever I wanted to do.
25:51Yeah.
25:51What does a perfect day off for Mary look like?
25:56Resting, eating.
25:59Sunshine.
26:02Maybe a workout or two for that week.
26:06Yeah.
26:08Yeah, just chilling, just relaxing, just relaxing and not doing anything cuddled up, you know, or, you know, by myself.
26:16You know, however, you know, eating the food I want to eat, speaking to people I want to speak to.
26:22That's big.
26:23Yeah.
26:24Well, you have or do you have now because you just came off tour and you're about to go into
26:28this residency.
26:29Are there certain show rituals that are really important to you?
26:32I mean, prayer is, it's, it's, it's, it's not a ritual.
26:36That's a way of life.
26:36Yeah.
26:38Prayer, prayer, that's about it.
26:39Warming up, you know, warm your vocals up.
26:43And that's it.
26:44That's, that's all you need.
26:46That's all you need.
26:47You know, when I had the opportunity to meet Oprah, she said to me, if you, she was quoting Ed
26:53Cartoli.
26:53She says, if you only have one prayer, thank you will be enough.
26:59Yeah, that's right.
27:01Yeah.
27:02I think about some of my top five Mary J. Bly songs.
27:07Sweet Thing, Real Love, No More, No More Crying.
27:11No more drama?
27:13No, no more.
27:14Enough crying.
27:14Enough crying.
27:15Okay.
27:16Okay.
27:16Should have Mark Jacob Fifi, Bag Me When You Had Me.
27:19Oh, that is my line, girl.
27:20Okay.
27:21Not Gonna Cry, Going Down, Family Affair.
27:24There's so many.
27:25When you perform, Mary, do you have a set of songs that you're like, these are my, these are my
27:32ones.
27:33Like when I go out there, this is, and I'm not talking about crushing it performance wise.
27:38Yeah.
27:38I'm talking about the ones you keep close to your chest, the I'm Going Down.
27:43Like what is that song for Mary?
27:46It's, it, it's definitely Mary's joint.
27:48It brings me to tears every single time.
27:51It's just the feeling on that song when, when, when it comes on, it's just tears.
27:59Mary's joint from the My Life album, that one messes me up.
28:03And, and My Life, of course.
28:05Like those two, they mess me up every, every single time.
28:08I love that.
28:09Yeah.
28:09I love that you still relate to your music in that way.
28:13Because that's what we think about as, you know, when we're listening to the vulnerability, it's like listening to somebody's
28:19diary.
28:20Yeah.
28:20When you're singing, you know, especially like, I think about when I'm out on a walk and I've got you
28:25right in my ear.
28:26It's so personal.
28:27It's a relationship with you and I.
28:29And we, you know, they say we heal in community.
28:31In those moments, you're my community.
28:34I'm relating to you.
28:35I'm healing through you.
28:36I'm feeling that I can be, I can release some of the shame and be vulnerable of like, okay, if
28:42she can say this on a record, I can say this to my partner, to a friend or to my
28:48family member.
28:49Yeah.
28:50You've been through a lot, right?
28:51Yes, girl.
28:52So we all think about this one minute.
28:56All that you've gone through, that's embarrassment and shame.
29:02Like you get to a point where there's nothing that's embarrassing anymore that you choose.
29:07Like you can choose the things that you're going to want to be candid with or the things you want
29:11to share or the things that you want to say me too.
29:13Because you haven't been through so much that you, why do you think you've been through so much?
29:19And so you can learn from the experience.
29:23The experience was guilt and shame and all that stuff that's in it.
29:26You no longer have to feel embarrassed no more.
29:30It happened.
29:31And so what?
29:33But I don't think people understand that shame can only survive when we don't talk about it.
29:38When we don't feel like someone else has been through what we've been through.
29:43And that's why I say to you, thank you.
29:45And I'm expressing my gratitude because you helped a generation release that shame of saying, oh, Mary's been through some
29:53things too.
29:55And, you know, there's a beautiful quote, I think, from Brene Brown, where she says, someone else's trauma experiences can
30:04be your survival guide.
30:06And I'm misquoting her, but, you know.
30:08Yeah, exactly.
30:10What someone else, someone else's story, what someone else has been through can be your survival guide.
30:13And I think your albums have been our survival guide.
30:18Well, thank you.
30:19Thank you, thank you, thank you.
30:21You guys buying the albums and supporting me and saying, damn, Mary, we can relate.
30:25It didn't leave me out there by myself.
30:28Like, you know, I went on an Oprah Winfrey show years ago and I spoke about, you know, what happened
30:35to me as a kid.
30:37And then everybody started speaking about what happened to them.
30:40It was time to do that.
30:44So, that was healing for me.
30:47You know, that was healing for me.
30:49So, I thank my fans and I thank people for being able to give me a platform to do that,
30:57to feel comfortable doing that.
31:00So, you know, thank you.
31:02Thank you all for helping me.
31:04Y'all helped me as well.
31:05Your music gave us permission to feel and to heal.
31:08So, thank you, Mary.
31:10Of course.
31:11Well, I don't want to say goodbye.
31:13I feel like you and I could talk forever.
31:16But I know you're a busy woman and you got things to do.
31:19And I just want to congratulate you again on the Las Vegas residency.
31:23Thank you so much.
31:23My life, my story.
31:24I will be there.
31:25I will come to see you.
31:26And I will be throwing my hands in the air and waiting for you to drop these beautiful songs and
31:31hopefully some positive affirmations on us.
31:33I got you.
31:35I got everybody.
31:36I got everybody.
31:37I got everybody.
31:39I got everybody.
31:40I got everybody.
31:40I got everybody.
31:41I got everybody.
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