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00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:09These simple lines be good for your health
00:11And keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:16Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Rain and noise is the moment they fear
00:21Get up, still a beautiful idea
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Get up, and shoot me
00:27Get up, get up
00:38Make some room in the stable
00:39Kick the donkey off the couch
00:40And get ready to watch three unwise men
00:42It's Friday, we're live
00:44And it's time for the last leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we ask what's up with the US president
00:51Get our heads around Christmas
00:53And get across some sporting heroes
00:56Plus we'll be joined by comedians Fatia El Ghari
00:59And Roisin Conaty
01:01On the show that sometimes doubles down on the news
01:13G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:15Hello
01:18Welcome to The Last Leg
01:20The show that's currently rethinking some of the children's books at Port for Christmas
01:24With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:26And the man who thought a doctor's strike was what you get when your GP holds their Christmas party at
01:30a bowling alley, Alex Broca
01:38Now, if you missed the show last week, so did I
01:43I was hosting Stand Up To Cancer
01:46Josh and Alex were in charge of the show
01:47And there was a plan for me to make it here from Stand Up To Cancer for the very end
01:53of the show
01:53Yes, that was your plan
01:54Apparently so, yeah
01:55Somewhere during the plan it became apparent the only way I was going to make it to the studio was
01:59on the back of a motorbike
02:00Yep
02:01I can't tell you how many things went wrong
02:03There were roadworks
02:05We hit every red light from Stratford to here
02:07This is why I left Devon
02:09For Devon
02:11I fucked that up already
02:14This is why I came back to host the show
02:18At one point we were stuck
02:20And I'm not making this up
02:2020 cyclists
02:2220?
02:23In the road in Hackney
02:24Fuck's sake, I employed 25, so five of them had done one then
02:29At one point the guy, so I was on the back of a motorbike
02:31At one point the guy in the front of the motorbike said
02:32Because you have little headphones so you can talk to each other
02:34He said, hold on, I'm going to try something
02:38Now the two places you never want to hear that are on a bike and in bed
02:43Either way, my arsehole clenched
02:48And in both cases what we did was borderline illegal
02:51And involved me wrapping my arms around someone I'd just met
02:54And I'd like to apologise to any bystanders
02:56It was so, I was so close to making it to air
02:59Oh I thought you were going to say
03:00I thought you said I was so close on the back of that bike
03:04We were close too
03:06Once it got changed I tried to get to the studio again
03:09I was so close to making it to air
03:11We had our social media guy Jordan filming on a phone when I arrived
03:15In case we could use it for this week's show
03:16So I'm going to show you his footage
03:18Alongside what was genuinely going on air in the studio at the same time
03:22To show you just how close I came to making it
03:25We've just heard Hilsie isn't going to make it back
03:29But we've got one more surprise hands
03:31AJ and John, can you take the hands mascot costume off to reveal our final winner behind you
03:38There we go
03:40It's Max Specialist Nurse
03:42We're in the ring
03:43Yeah!
03:45Oh!
03:47Oh!
03:47Oh!
03:48Oh!
03:50Oh!
03:50Oh!
03:51The next wall, the Lord!
03:51...to hand up to cantor
03:52Our names are Josh Winnicom
03:54And Alex Bexar
03:55and we'll see you next week for the next week
03:57Ooh!
03:58I can be your hands, please.
04:04I can hand away the pain.
04:08Oh, yeah.
04:11I won't hand by you forever.
04:17You can take my hands away.
04:22This is it.
04:47Well, can I...
04:50Can I just say, you were running like your arse I would clench.
04:54I was going cos I thought my pizza had turned up.
04:59You had the look on your face of someone who knows
05:01he's just missed out on his appearance fee.
05:05We are live on your telly right now,
05:07so you can send us any questions you want about the news.
05:09Message us on Instagram, the hashtags, is it OK?
05:11WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908.
05:15Or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
05:18For example, is it OK that Alex got a DM from his hero last week?
05:22Yes, I did.
05:23DM you?
05:24Yes.
05:25Go on, Brooks.
05:26What happened?
05:26Well, so, it was big news for me this week.
05:28So, I did...
05:30Thierry Henry got a Lifetime Achievement Award at the BBC Sports
05:33Personality of the Year Awards.
05:35Personality of the Year Awards.
05:35And I did a video with my Arsenal fan.
05:36And he played soccer for Arsenal, right?
05:38Yeah.
05:39Football.
05:39He played football.
05:40He did.
05:42Yep.
05:43He was very good at it, mate.
05:44Yep.
05:44OK.
05:45And, yeah, so I did this video.
05:48And then, like, on Wednesday morning,
05:49he just started following me on Instagram.
05:52And I have never...
05:54Have a look at this.
05:55So, this is...
05:56Nine seconds after he followed me, I screenshotted that.
06:00That's just the fastest these little hands have ever moved.
06:03When you consider that you ejaculated and cleaned up between them.
06:06Oh!
06:07But I was so excited.
06:09And he was very lovely.
06:10He sent me a message to say thank you...
06:13He sent me a DM to say thank you for the message.
06:16Yep.
06:16And I was losing my shit.
06:17And then I worried about, you know, what do I...
06:20What do I want...
06:20Like, what do I reply back?
06:22Because I don't want to...
06:22I don't want to seem too thirsty.
06:24But at the same time, all I want to say...
06:25You just recorded a video about how much you loved him.
06:27Well, yeah.
06:28And I just wanted to reiterate what I said in the video.
06:30But, yeah, I, um...
06:32I sent him a message back and I was like,
06:34Oh, he's not going to reply.
06:36But then...
06:36And then Thierry Henry responded to Alex's message
06:39while we were having a last leg meeting.
06:42And can I say, normally, if I've got my phone out during the meeting,
06:44he gets the hump.
06:46Ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:48How do you know?
06:49How can you tell?
06:50The Aussie eyes, mate.
06:51We recorded Alex's reaction to getting this response from Thierry Henry.
06:57Oh, my God, he's typing.
06:59Oh, I feel sick.
07:01Oh.
07:02Hopefully I can see you soon.
07:04Oh, my God.
07:10Oh, my God.
07:12Oh, my God.
07:14Oh, my God.
07:14Can I just...
07:15That is...
07:17That is...
07:19That is...
07:20Just saying, that's my version of the Kevin McAllister ad,
07:25but I can't reach my cheek with my right.
07:27I'll do the half McAllister.
07:30Um, yeah, it was awesome.
07:32I can't wait till it's revealed that Thierry Henry's
07:34had his Instagram account hacked.
07:38Alex just got another message saying,
07:40I've got some problems with my bank,
07:42can you chance for me £10,000, please?
07:44But, like, how many people follow you that have a statue of themselves?
07:48Well, I am followed by Horatio Nelson, but I don't like to break that.
07:51So, have you replied to him saying,
07:53hopefully I can see you soon?
07:54Because, like...
07:54No, because I don't want to see him too.
07:56I know, what are you right?
07:57Like, I don't know, February 14th?
07:59LAUGHTER
08:00Do you have plans for Christmas?
08:02LAUGHTER
08:02I wouldn't put it past you to write just,
08:04Zootropolis 2?
08:06LAUGHTER
08:06I think the worst response to,
08:08hopefully we'll see each other soon, would be,
08:10I'm outside your house.
08:12LAUGHTER
08:12Well, the good thing is,
08:13I found a motorbike rider who actually gets you there quite quickly.
08:17LAUGHTER
08:18I'll say he does.
08:20Um, but we were so...
08:22We loved that little clip of Alex and his little excited face,
08:24so we've turned it into this week's hottest meme.
08:28Hopefully I can see you soon.
08:30I said, oooooh, oooooh, oooooh.
08:34Come on, baby, turn the lights on.
08:36LAUGHTER
08:37Now, the big story this week,
08:39Donald Trump is suing the BBC for $10 billion.
08:43Now, you might remember that's because the BBC made an edit
08:46on an episode of Padorama.
08:47That is perfectly demonstrated in this clear before and after clip.
08:52We're gonna walk down to the Capitol,
08:55and I'll be there with you.
08:57And we fight.
08:59We fight like hell.
09:00And if you don't fight like hell,
09:02you're not gonna have a country anymore.
09:04We're gonna walk down to the Capitol.
09:08LAUGHTER
09:20So, basically, a simple edit.
09:28Yeah, it was probably a dumb thing to do.
09:30But according to Donald Trump,
09:31the BBC went about five steps further,
09:33as he revealed in this accusing clip.
09:36In a little while, you'll be saying,
09:38I'm suing the BBC for putting words in my mouth,
09:40literally, to put words in my mouth.
09:42They had me saying things that I never said coming out.
09:45I guess they used AI or something.
09:47LAUGHTER
09:48Well, just think, just think, if we'd had AI,
09:52we could have made you arrive on time, Hilsen.
09:54LAUGHTER
09:55But he didn't literally put words in his mouth.
09:59Like, I would have loved to have seen him literally put words
10:01in his mouth.
10:01I would have loved to have seen Nagamanchetti
10:04shove Scrabble letters in his gob.
10:06LAUGHTER
10:06Like she's stuck in a turkey.
10:09LAUGHTER
10:09Look, yes, it was a bad edit,
10:10but as far as using AI,
10:12that is an absolute pile of...
10:14If you're getting down, baby,
10:16I'll put them down, baby.
10:18Ah.
10:19Oh.
10:19What happened to my buttons?
10:21What's that?
10:21What happened to my buttons?
10:23That's what my kids are gonna be saying
10:24when they see their selection boxes next week.
10:26LAUGHTER
10:27Yeah, so we may have...
10:28Yeah, we might have.
10:29We may have made a few changes to the buttons.
10:31You weren't here, so we made the buttons more proper.
10:33It kind of made things more... more... more...
10:36What did you do?
10:37Did you just use 90s tunes?
10:39Maybe.
10:39Well, yeah.
10:43You got me!
10:45Nothing without my buttons.
10:46In fact, I kind of feel like I'm...
10:48Lying without will...
10:52LAUGHTER
10:54Look, what I'm trying to say is they were set a certain way,
10:56I liked it the way they were set,
10:58and now that I'm back behind the desk...
11:00I want it that way...
11:04LAUGHTER
11:05Actually starting to like them.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:07All right, anyway...
11:07They're staying for next series, let's be honest.
11:10Back to Donald Trump.
11:11Why do...
11:12What do we think of him suing the BBC for $10 billion?
11:14Well, I mean, I'm...
11:15I'm looking forward to Panorama doing a Panorama
11:18on him suing them over Panorama.
11:21I'm worried about the hike in the licence fee.
11:25LAUGHTER
11:25When we get the licence fee through and it's $1 million each.
11:29LAUGHTER
11:29I think the BBC...
11:30I don't think he's...
11:31Well, he's not going to win.
11:32No.
11:33I think the BBC have got a great defence
11:34and that their big form of evidence
11:37that they didn't make him seem like a bad guy
11:40will be to show anything that he's ever said, ever.
11:44LAUGHTER
11:44Look, this is all part of Trump's pattern.
11:47One, sue a media company for a ridiculous amount of money.
11:50Two, force them to either spend loads of money defending it,
11:52or three, wait till they offer up a settlement.
11:56Four, take the settlement, then know that they
11:58and every other media company is now too scared
12:00to say anything negative about you in case you sue them again.
12:03This sets a dangerous precedent
12:05because news outlets are supposed to keep governments to account
12:08and they can't do that
12:09if they're scared of being sued by that government.
12:12That's the journalistic equivalent of...
12:14Lying without wigs.
12:18Shall I tell you the mad thing is,
12:20those buttons have been used more this week
12:21than what I did last week.
12:23LAUGHTER
12:23So how should the BBC deal with it?
12:25Oh, easy.
12:27Edit together,
12:28Donald Trump speeches so it looks like he's saying
12:30I'm no longer suing the BBC.
12:32LAUGHTER
12:33I think cos he's so...
12:34You know, he's so childish.
12:36Yeah.
12:36I think they should kind of...
12:37They should lure him in.
12:38Cos he's going to be...
12:39They'll go, all right, and you win,
12:41you get 10 billion,
12:43but if we win, we get...
12:45Disney and the White House.
12:48Richard Osman's White House of Games.
12:50It's a great show.
12:51LAUGHTER
12:52Well, Trump's claiming he's been defamed by the BBC,
12:54but you're right, there are a few things
12:55that are going to make it tough for him to win.
12:57One, the court case is being tried in Florida,
12:59but the programme didn't go to air in Florida
13:02or anywhere in America,
13:03which means Trump has to prove
13:04that people watched it illegally on a VPN
13:07and that it caused damage to his reputation.
13:10So right now, in Florida,
13:11there's a lot of guys trying to convince their wives
13:13they've been using their VPN to watch Panorama.
13:15LAUGHTER
13:17Slamming your laptop.
13:18It was an antiques roadshow!
13:20But no-one's watching it in Florida.
13:21It's literally called the Sunshine State.
13:25No-one is staying indoors to watch Panorama,
13:27like Will Smith in Miami.
13:29It wasn't playing in a city where the heat is on
13:30or lying on the beach to the break it on,
13:32or downloading a VPN and watching Panorama.
13:35LAUGHTER
13:37Do you know Will Smith?
13:40LAUGHTER
13:41LAUGHTER
13:43Don't pretend that you're not loving those buttons now,
13:45Hillsy. You feel like a DJ.
13:47The BBC has vowed to defend itself,
13:49which is funny when you consider they couldn't even stop Channel 4
13:51from taking Bake Off.
13:52If the BBC...
13:54LAUGHTER
13:54If the BBC win, though...
13:56You company man!
13:58LAUGHTER
13:58You miss one episode,
13:59you start praising the bosses.
14:01LAUGHTER
14:02If the BBC win,
14:03surely we get to take possession of some American assets.
14:06Maybe change Mount Rushmore to, I don't know,
14:08Joe Mahler, Alan Carr, Nick Muhammad and Celia Imri.
14:11LAUGHTER
14:12I think...
14:13I think we should ask for Ghostbusters Firehouse.
14:15Yep. Yep.
14:16And then that thing from Ghostbusters 2,
14:18the big...
14:19the Statue of Libby.
14:22And...
14:22LAUGHTER
14:23That's the one.
14:25You know that prop they had in Ghostbusters 2?
14:27Yeah, yeah.
14:28LAUGHTER
14:29Yeah, that's the only thing it's known for.
14:32LAUGHTER
14:32Expensive old prop, that, wasn't it?
14:35LAUGHTER
14:35You know that prop was so heavy,
14:36they've had to leave it there.
14:38LAUGHTER
14:39If Trump wins, then,
14:40does he take possession of the BBC and its assets?
14:43Because the last thing the world needs is Donald Trump
14:44in charge of an army of Daleks.
14:46Well, I tell you what,
14:47Greg Wallace will be back in the BBC before you know it.
14:50LAUGHTER
14:52I...
14:52I think the BBC have got a way out there,
14:55cos even if he does win,
14:56and he's using them,
14:57he can do what, like,
14:58they can do what all businesses do...
15:00Yeah.
15:00..when they can't pay it back.
15:01They basically declare themselves bankrupt,
15:02and then they start again under a different name.
15:05Yeah.
15:05Call themselves British Broadcasting Limited.
15:08Yeah.
15:08The BBL.
15:09And I know what you're thinking,
15:10ah, that's already taken,
15:13the butter cosmetic surgery Brazilian bum lift.
15:15Yeah.
15:16But no, cos I think it could work...
15:17I wasn't thinking that, to be honest, no.
15:19LAUGHTER
15:19Well, I think it could work for an ident.
15:21Have a look at this.
15:31Amazing. Amazing.
15:34APPLAUSE
15:38To be fair, Brooker, you look good in that idea.
15:42Look, it is a massive week for the US President.
15:45He refused to rule out a war with Venezuela,
15:47he's created something called the Patriot Games,
15:49and he was shocked when the board he chose
15:52to run the Kennedy Centre changed its name
15:54to the Trump Kennedy Centre.
15:57How was he surprised by that?
15:59Even John F Kennedy saw that one coming.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:03Trump then posted about the tragic death of director Rob Reiner
16:06in a way that ironically turned the distastefulness up to 11.
16:09Meanwhile, the Epstein files are currently being released
16:12on the same day that YouTuber Jake Paul goes head-to-head
16:15with professional boxer Anthony Joshua.
16:17So it's a good night if you want to see rich, entitled men
16:19suddenly having their careers ended.
16:22LAUGHTER
16:22And I just thank you for not making a joke
16:24about the England cricket team there.
16:25Thank you very much.
16:27Oh, how would that have fitted in?
16:28Well, because their rich, entitled men
16:30are about to have their careers ended tonight.
16:31Oh, OK.
16:32Haven't been lying to cricket, how's it going?
16:35About as well as the show went last week without you,
16:38thank you very much.
16:39LAUGHTER
16:40Now, I'm not saying Donald Trump is trying to distract
16:42from the Epstein files, but this week he made some changes
16:44to the Presidential Walk of Fame in the White House
16:46that now looks like this.
16:48You...
16:48You know, like, when a restaurant has...
16:51LAUGHTER
16:51It has photos of all the famous people.
16:54Yeah.
16:55I think further down there's a photo of Darren Day
16:57with his arm round the chef just saying,
16:59best tapas in Soho, Darren Day.
17:01LAUGHTER
17:02Now, you might remember a few months ago,
17:04Donald Trump replaced the photo of Joe Biden
17:06with this picture of an auto pen.
17:08This week he added plaques under each President's photo
17:11with his own opinion of their Presidency.
17:14This is in the West Wing.
17:16For example, the plaque under Biden's photo now says,
17:19and this is a direct quote,
17:20Sleepy Joe Biden was by far the worst president
17:22in American history.
17:24Taking office as a result of the most corrupt election
17:26ever seen in the United States,
17:28Biden oversaw a series of unprecedented disasters
17:30that brought our nation to the brink of destruction.
17:34Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levitt,
17:35said the descriptions were mainly written directly
17:37by the President,
17:38to which the rest of the world said,
17:39no shit, Kaz.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:43I love the fact that, so, under Trump's own one...
17:46Yeah.
17:47..it's so long what he describes himself as.
17:49It's like one of his tweets,
17:50and at the bottom it kind of says,
17:51plaque one of two.
17:53LAUGHTER
17:54Apparently when Trump was challenged
17:55over the wording on the plaques, he said...
17:57I want it that way...
18:01You're getting into them, aren't you?
18:02Yeah.
18:03Andy said,
18:04Is it OK that the Trump administration
18:05says sign language services intrude
18:08on Trump's ability to control his image,
18:09and that raising this will get me banned from the USA?
18:12Yeah.
18:12So, disability groups were up in arms this week.
18:15Sorry, I'll rephrase that.
18:18LAUGHTER
18:20Disability groups were hopping mad...
18:22No, no, that's not gonna...
18:23Ramping up their...
18:24No, no.
18:25Absolutely furious.
18:27As the White House said,
18:28they would not be providing sign interpreters
18:30at Trump's press conferences
18:31because it would, quote,
18:33severely intrude on the President's prerogative
18:35to control the image he presents to the public.
18:38Now, I know one thing.
18:39I know this.
18:40It is very hard to sign interpret for Donald Trump.
18:43I know a lot of sign interpreters.
18:44I work with them a lot doing stand-up.
18:46Because Trump goes off on so many different tangents.
18:48He starts here, he goes over here, he goes over here,
18:50he never finishes a thought.
18:51So, as a sign interpreter, you're like,
18:52I don't know what sentence to sign right now.
18:56Also, that funny little dance he does,
18:57that could be interpreted as...
18:59Oh, yeah, that one, when he dances like that.
19:01Yeah, that's something different, I think.
19:02Yeah, that's...
19:02I'm wanking off TK.
19:04LAUGHTER
19:05That is the emoji, Alex and Thierry Henry,
19:07but they got him blocked.
19:09LAUGHTER
19:11Now, the other thing about Trump
19:12is he implies a lot when he speaks.
19:14He says stuff and the meaning's slightly hidden.
19:17Yeah.
19:17But as a sign interpreter,
19:18you have to kind of get that meaning across.
19:20So, it's really, really tricky anyway.
19:22And, look, this week,
19:23Trump gave an address from the White House
19:24that was so shouty,
19:26it looked like he'd forgotten
19:27to turn his hearing aid on.
19:28Here's the annoying clip
19:29in which he puts the tan into tangent.
19:33In the end, government either serves
19:36the productive, patriotic, hard-working American citizen
19:39or it serves those who break the laws,
19:42cheat the system and seek power and profit
19:45at the expense of our nation.
19:49What in the living fuck are you talking about,
19:51you...
19:53..you apricot arsehole?
19:54And stop shouting.
19:55You're on a microphone.
19:57Do you know what I mean?
19:57You had a case of apricot arsehole
19:59off that one, didn't you?
20:00You're not talking to thousands of people in a stadium.
20:02You're on the telly.
20:04You're only talking to two or three people at home
20:05on the couch.
20:06You don't need to shout.
20:07Look, there's a reason I don't start this show
20:09by going,
20:10G'day, I'm Adam Hills!
20:12Welcome to The Last Leg!
20:14Although, that felt good.
20:17I genuinely, that's how we started it last week.
20:20Oh, I noticed.
20:24To give you an idea of how hard it is to interpret for Donald Trump,
20:27we're going to show you that clip again
20:28and we're going to have it interpreted for you.
20:30We're also going to show you what the interpreter is actually saying
20:33to see whether or not it interferes with Trump's image.
20:37In the end, government either serves the productive, patriotic, hardworking American citizen
20:43or it serves those who break the laws, cheat the system, and seek power and profit at the expense of
20:50our nation.
20:51Look at Minnesota, where Somalians have taken over the economics of the state
20:57and have stolen billions and billions of dollars from Minnesota
21:01and indeed from the United States of America.
21:04And we're going to put an end to it.
21:05For so long as, before my election, the vast majority of good and decent Americans were forced to...
21:20And can we please thank Gavin Lilly. Thank you, Gavin. Round of applause for Gav.
21:28Alright, let's welcome tonight's guests.
21:30A comedian who co-hosts Last One Laughing
21:32and another comedian who was the last one standing on the TV show The Wheel.
21:35Please welcome Roisin Conaty and Fatia El Ghori.
21:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
21:46Hello, lads.
21:48Good. Hi. Hello. Hello.
21:51Hello. Hi.
21:53Welcome to you both.
21:55Either of you ever used a sign interpreter, Fatia?
21:58I've never used one but I've been at a show where there's one.
22:01Yeah. So I just kept on going...
22:03And they had to go...
22:05LAUGHTER
22:06I just kept on saying it after...
22:08I didn't even do punchlines, I just went,
22:09Anyway, my name is BRRRRRR!
22:12LAUGHTER
22:13And what do you both make of Trump suing the BBC? Fatia?
22:17I think...
22:18Well, they fucked up, innit?
22:20Yeah.
22:20But he's a wanker, innit?
22:23But I've got an idea.
22:24I know how to make their money back.
22:25Yeah.
22:26If they just commission my sitcom...
22:30LAUGHTER
22:31..it doesn't make the money, innit?
22:33OK, love it.
22:34Um, Roisin?
22:35LAUGHTER
22:37I think Trump respects hard men.
22:40That's the only way.
22:41So I think they shouldn't try...
22:42I think they should just tell him to fuck off.
22:44LAUGHTER
22:45Oh, yeah!
22:46I think they should go absolutely ape on him
22:48and just tell him to fuck off.
22:50And then he'll be like, I love the BBC.
22:52Yeah, that's who he likes.
22:53See, that's who he wants to be friends with.
22:55So I think they should tell him to do one.
22:57Which BBC star should we get to do it?
23:00Um...
23:00Ross Kemp?
23:01No.
23:02Is he on BBC anymore?
23:03Oh, I don't know.
23:04Have you not...
23:05Have you not watched Bridge of Lies?
23:07LAUGHTER
23:10Um...
23:10One of the Strictly Lot, I reckon.
23:12Ooh, nice.
23:13Yeah.
23:13And 20 back.
23:14Craig Revel Horwood!
23:15Oh, Craig Revel Horwood!
23:18Now, um...
23:19Earlier this week, I was asked to read a poem
23:21at a Carols concert for motor neurone disease.
23:24It was a lovely night, it was a really lovely night.
23:26And they sent me a really nice poem, a kind of funny poem,
23:28about the difference between Christmas in England
23:30and Christmas in Australia for me to read at the concert.
23:34But...
23:34And it was all about, you know, Christmas on the beach
23:36and that kind of stuff,
23:37but in light of what happened at Bondi Beach last weekend,
23:40it felt a little weird to do that.
23:41So I ended up rewriting the poem as a tribute
23:43to what happened in Sydney, which is where I grew up.
23:46It's my hometown.
23:47Um...
23:47And if it's OK with you, I thought I'd read that poem tonight.
23:50So...
23:50This is my little, um...
23:52Little...
23:54Christmassy tribute-y poem.
23:57Christmas in Britain is charming and cold,
23:59with jumpers and jingles and carols of old.
24:02But I'm Aussie by nature, so let's just be clear.
24:05Barbecues count, so does icy cold beer.
24:08I've done Christmas down under with sun cream and sand,
24:10and Christmas in Britain with frostbite on hand.
24:13One has cicadas, the other has sleet,
24:15but both have bad telly and too much to eat.
24:18Sydney is sunny, London is wetter,
24:20and the less said about the ashes, the better.
24:23But Brits and the Aussies will always be mates,
24:26as we both thank the Lord we don't live in the States.
24:30But evil rears up every now and again,
24:32as some don't believe in goodwill to all men,
24:35and use a nice holiday fest by the beach
24:37to make a world full of joy seem way out of reach.
24:40But look for the helpers, a wise man once said,
24:43the people who think with their hearts and their head,
24:45the people who do what they know to be right.
24:47Look for the love, look for the light.
24:50Because all around the world people showed their support,
24:53from New York to Paris, right down to Earl's Court.
24:55Whatever religion, we all made a fuss,
24:58saying there were just two of them,
24:59there are millions of us.
25:02Whether Muslim or Christian, Hindu or Jew,
25:04deep down we all know what's the right thing to do.
25:06So no matter what happens this time of the year,
25:08bring your loved ones around and gather them near.
25:11If you're a Brit or an Aussie or half in between,
25:14may your paddock be golden, your tree evergreen.
25:17May your Christmassy lunch have no family clashes.
25:20But I'll say it again, don't mention the ashes.
25:23Whether Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas or none,
25:26happy holidays all, and I hope you have fun.
25:29And remember the words of good old Saint Nick,
25:32Merry Christmas to all.
25:34And don't be a dick.
25:43We'll have all I sleep for you after the break.
25:44We'll take a wobbly step into Christmas.
25:46We'll see you in a little bit.
26:03I'm going to apologize for that.
26:04Welcome back to Last Leg.
26:06We're joined by Thaddea Elgari and Roisin Conaty.
26:08Wollum said the person from the BBC
26:09to tell Donald Trump to fuck off should be David Attenborough.
26:12Oh, yes.
26:15I love that we've accidentally created a great text in.
26:18Text in with who should tell Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:22Hit us up on WhatsApp.
26:23Tell us who you think should tell us.
26:25Why are you limiting it to one?
26:30BBC's got a huge employee base.
26:32Yeah, a whole just...
26:33Oh, my God.
26:34They can do it.
26:34I think the whole country should get involved.
26:38Well, all at once at midnight on New Year's Eve.
26:41All at once at midnight on New Year's Eve.
26:42Everyone tells Donald Trump to fuck off.
26:46Two, one, fuck off!
26:49All right, look, it's only six more sleeps until Christmas,
26:51five more sleeps until our Christmas Eve special,
26:53and three more sleeps until Thierry Henry unfollows Alex on Instagram.
26:59Why is he going to unfollow him?
27:01Oh, he'll watch something that Brooker posts and goes,
27:05no, I can't be associated with that.
27:10Brooker's already upset because I made a joke about us,
27:13and we did do very well last week.
27:14I made a joke that we didn't do very well.
27:16I told you to be proud of yourself.
27:19Let's get into the festive spirit.
27:22Let's start with Christmas traditions.
27:23Do you guys have any Christmas traditions?
27:25We...
27:26So I don't celebrate, obviously.
27:28Obviously.
27:29But we do, obviously, like, everyone's off,
27:32so we all get at my mum's and then we have, like,
27:34we make a dinner and then, like, yeah, have fun.
27:38Yeah.
27:38We don't do presents or trees or none of that luck,
27:41but we do do the food.
27:43Interesting, OK.
27:43Yeah.
27:44Spending time with family.
27:45Yeah.
27:45The worst bit.
27:51There are people behind me applauding what you just said.
27:55Just so you know, you may be on camera.
27:58Roisin?
28:00Oh, I've got traditions, Adam.
28:01I've got blooming traditions, all right.
28:04My traditions are I come from a very big family
28:06and I've got lots of friends.
28:08I'm very popular.
28:10And lots of them show up unannounced.
28:13And by unannounced, I mean I forget they're showing up.
28:15Yep.
28:16And so my Christmas tradition is people showing up,
28:18me pretending I need the loo, I need to make something,
28:21and then I'm going rummaging and wrapping in another room
28:24and re-gifting something I've already got,
28:27but trying to find something really quick in a short space of time.
28:30Right.
28:31And I once, someone brought me like a, you know,
28:34a rubbish ten pound sort of body cream
28:36and the only thing I had was a record player
28:38because I'd given away everything in previous gifts,
28:42rummage and wrapping, and so I gave them a record player.
28:44Then I had to re-buy for myself
28:46because a friend who bought me the wrapping player
28:47was coming round record player in a few days.
28:49Happy Christmas!
28:52In big Christmas news, something that made Alex very happy,
28:55I watched Home Alone for the first time last week.
28:59Like, I've shocked you all.
29:01Ironically, I was Home Alone.
29:03Which means I now understand this that happened on the show,
29:07and this...
29:10Still don't entirely understand this.
29:15I think it's, genuinely, I couldn't believe that you hadn't seen it,
29:18but I think it's lovely that you've watched it now.
29:21Yeah.
29:21So like, when I watched it for the first time,
29:23I was the same age as Kevin McAllister,
29:25and now you've watched it for the first time,
29:28and you're the same age as the old Geezy with the shovel.
29:30So...
29:33I think part of the reason I didn't see it when it was released,
29:35I was 20 at the time, and I was in that age where,
29:37it's weird for a 20-year-old to go and watch a kid's movie on his own.
29:42But you had a bit of an issue.
29:44Yeah, I mean, when I saw...
29:46When I saw Elle for the first time, I was like 19,
29:49and I went like three times.
29:50And I'm not weird.
29:52But yeah, there was a big...
29:53So this week, so this is one of the few things
29:55I've ever been able to talk about on the show
29:57that's been sent to me on one of my WhatsApp groups with my mates.
30:00So my mate, Humzy, sent me this thing.
30:02Basically, it was a TV choice.
30:04So this was their reviews of the Christmas films.
30:08Babe...
30:08Can I just ask a great question?
30:09Your mate reads TV choice?
30:11He just sent it.
30:12Is it an 80-year-old grant?
30:14So he sent it.
30:15Babe, five stars.
30:17Right?
30:18Home Alone, four stars.
30:21Now, unless that reviewer is David Cameron, that is bullshit.
30:26I think Babe is a five-star film,
30:30and I think it's better than Home Alone.
30:34I don't think that.
30:35I just wanted to see what Brooklyn would do.
30:37I'm going to say Five Star Babe
30:39sounds like a film I did watch when I was...
30:45There we go.
30:51In other Christmas news, a poll was revealed this week
30:54that nearly a third of the British public
30:56thinks Santa would vote for Zach Polanski
30:58and the Green Party.
31:00Which is surprising considering how much coal Santa goes through.
31:03What do you think on that?
31:04Also, yeah, he's going down chimneys.
31:06It's one of the main reasons we've got chimneys.
31:08I don't think we should...
31:08I don't think...
31:09I think this is madness.
31:11Yeah.
31:11He's based in the North Pole.
31:13Yeah.
31:14If he's not going to pay taxes in this country,
31:16he doesn't have a fucking say.
31:17What do you think?
31:18Would Santa go through?
31:19I think so.
31:20Yeah.
31:20Because he's got a zero carbon footprint.
31:23Yeah.
31:23However, the RSPCA are not going to like him
31:26because he works those animals to the bone.
31:29That's great.
31:2924 hours.
31:30He goes around the whole world.
31:31Are you mad, bruv?
31:33You know what I'm saying?
31:34No.
31:35Roisin?
31:37I don't...
31:38I think people project onto...
31:39When we like people, we project onto them the values we have.
31:42Yeah.
31:42But what we've all learned about, you know, old celebrities is...
31:47And he's, you know, he's an old guy.
31:49He's been around for hundreds of years.
31:51You don't want to...
31:52I reckon if you had a Wikipedia page, it's not going to be great.
31:55LAUGHTER
31:55So, you just don't...
31:57I don't think you can project very progressive views
31:59on that old creeping-in-the-house-at-nights-in-the-kids-room guy.
32:04LAUGHTER
32:05That's very optimistic gear you've got going on there.
32:09I think it makes sense that Santa would vote green
32:10because if anyone's worried about the ice caps melting, it's him.
32:13And also, much like Zach Polanski,
32:15a lot of grown-ups don't believe in him.
32:17LAUGHTER
32:18Christmas also means it's time for the darts at Ali Pali.
32:21Oh.
32:21Both of which have red-faced men with big bellies,
32:23but this year there's been an unwanted guest.
32:25Oh, mate, it's just been...
32:27It's been a week of high drama already at the darts,
32:30but they're...
32:31The Ali Pali wasp.
32:33Yeah.
32:33I don't know if you've heard about this.
32:34It's basically a wasp that's been knocking about
32:36in Alexandria Palace during the darts this week
32:39for four days, five days,
32:41breathing in all the beer fumes, absolutely off its nut.
32:45LAUGHTER
32:45Just upsetting everyone.
32:46It's genuinely...
32:47One of the darts players actually brought Wasp Killer.
32:50Just in case...
32:50It was like pissing off all the darts players.
32:53Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:54And now, look, we wanted...
32:55We couldn't afford the footage of the wasp from Sky Sports
32:57because it's sports footage and that costs loads, all right?
33:00We wanted to show you,
33:01so we've mocked up our own version of the wasp in action.
33:05Here it is in happier times.
33:12Wash! Wash! Wash!
33:14Wash!
33:15Yes!
33:16Whoa!
33:17What was that?
33:17I'm keeping down, mate!
33:19Chill out!
33:20Whoa!
33:21Thanks.
33:22Oh, no!
33:22I'm getting off it!
33:24I'm getting off it!
33:25I'm getting off it!
33:27You washed!
33:27Jesus cross, I'm gonna sting someone in a minute.
33:29That was not on.
33:35You know what?
33:39That looked so much better than I thought it was gonna look.
33:41We'll have more lastly for you after the break
33:43as we hand out our alternative Sports Personality of the Year Awards.
33:47We'll also unveil another mystery guest.
33:49We'll see you in a little bit.
34:06Welcome back to Last Lake.
34:07We're joined by Fatia El Ghorey and Roisin Conaty.
34:10Last night, the BBC crowned Rory McIlroy as their Sports Personality of the Year of 2025.
34:16Congratulations.
34:17Although, personally, I thought Rory McIlroy deserved it
34:19for this candid moment at the Ryder Cup this year.
34:33And look, it's all well and good to celebrate Sporting Excellence,
34:36but what about the Forgotten Heroes?
34:37Like, the guy who took this incredibly timed photo
34:39of Italian tennis player Jasmine Paolini at the US Open this year
34:42that was judged...
34:44Tennis Photo of the Year.
34:47So, the guy from Kneecap?
34:49LAUGHTER
34:52We thought we'd highlight some more heroes now with this.
35:04So, I'm gonna start by nominating two Australian twins
35:08who lip-sync on social media to iconic pieces of sporting commentary.
35:13This was their hilarious take on the moment Scotland qualified
35:15for the World Cup this year.
35:18Here's McIlroy.
35:19Here's McIlroy...
35:19He's going to shoot.
35:21He's not...
35:22He's not...
35:22He's not...
35:22He's not...
35:23He's not...
35:23He's not...
35:23He's not...
35:23He's not...
35:26It's unbelievable!
35:30I have never seen anything quite as incredible
35:34Come on, from back to it, it's Kenny McLean!
35:39With practically the last kick of the ball,
35:41the absolutely rubber-stop Scotland's place!
35:45And the 1-0 Cup!
35:46Love it. Brilliant.
35:52I'm going to say it right now, we have too much time on our hands in Australia.
35:56Josh?
35:57Oh, let me highlight a sport we don't talk about enough.
36:01Yep.
36:01In July, 33 teams from countries including the UK,
36:06Japan, Australia and France competed in the litter-picking World Cup.
36:11Wow.
36:12There's something we could be good at.
36:13Team Smile Story from Japan won.
36:15You could say they cleaned up.
36:19LAUGHTER
36:20LAUGHTER
36:26Let's have a look at it, Adam. Let's have a look at it.
36:28LAUGHTER
36:31So, here we go.
36:32Look at this, this is sport now!
36:35And then there's the British team.
36:37There's the Japanese team.
36:40Look, if we can't clear the darts, B,
36:43this is what Channel 4 need to be showing now!
36:46So, I'd like to nominate the British team.
36:48OK, Feria, who would you nominate?
36:50So, I would nominate Mo Salah.
36:52Yeah.
36:52Not for the reason you think, right?
36:54Basically, every Christmas, he has, like, a massive Christmas tree
36:57and him and his family wear Christmas pyjamas
36:59and they take a picture with gifts and all that
37:02and he just gets shot to shit by, like, the Muslim community being like,
37:06what are you doing?
37:07You're a Muslim, it's Christmas.
37:09And he's like, yeah, whatever, bruv, shut up.
37:11And I love it.
37:12I just think he's a legend.
37:13OK.
37:14He's a legend for doing that.
37:15Raj?
37:15Well, I've got one.
37:17I don't know if it'll be allowed, but then I saw the litter picking
37:20and I thought, it's going in.
37:22I think Oasis.
37:24Because I feel like them getting back together felt like, a bit like,
37:29and the tour was a little bit like watching Rocky get off the mat,
37:32like, off the...
37:33You know, like, it felt like...
37:35And then it got to the end and they won.
37:36I thought, Oasis felt like...
37:37It was a sporting achievement.
37:38Yeah.
37:39Lovely.
37:40And it was that feeling of, like, when England are in the World Cup
37:44or something.
37:44Yeah.
37:44Then what's that feeling when you went to Oasis,
37:46although it ended happily?
37:49Yeah.
37:49Brooks?
37:50Yeah, well, this is bittersweet for me because mine was going
37:53to be the Ali Pali Wasp.
37:56Yeah.
37:56And we found out today that...
37:59He's dead.
37:59..may have been killed yesterday by one of the darts players.
38:03It's a sad moment.
38:04So, I just, er...
38:07If it's possible, can I just have a little moment of reflection
38:10for what the Ali Pali Wasp has done this week?
38:12Thank you very much.
38:14Goodbye.
38:16Goodbye.
38:17Goodbye.
38:18You said you're gonna make me still feel you're here.
38:21It's not the end.
38:24Goodbye.
38:26Oh!
38:29Oh!
38:30Mr. Alison, Alison.
38:33Right.
38:34It's time to bring on this week's mystery guest.
38:35Roshine and Fatih have to work out how they're related to the news.
38:38Can we have this week's mystery guest please?
38:51This is Angie she's been in the news this week for a festive reason Adam
38:55But what was the reason can we have the dramatic lighting change, please?
39:01So
39:02Has Angie been in in the news because a she has a reindeer that thinks it's a dog
39:08B. Angie bought a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey
39:13Or C. Angie bought a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive
39:20Oh God
39:21I know
39:22What are your thoughts?
39:25Angie!
39:26I don't know
39:30I think the answer to that question is intrusive
39:39Can we get our made into a gift, please?
39:42I tell you what, have a think about it
39:44Mull it over
39:45Sing Angie to yourself for a little while
39:49We'll reveal a mystery guest after the break
39:51And we'll end the show with a very special Christmas performance
39:53And we'll see you in a bit
40:12Welcome back to The Last Leg
40:14We're joined by Fatia El-Ghori and Roisin Conaty
40:16Now before the break we challenged our guests to work out how this person is connected to the news
40:20Can we have the options again, please?
40:24So
40:25Does Angie have a reindeer that thinks it's a dog?
40:29Did Angie buy a pig in blanket that looks exactly like Lana Del Rey?
40:33Or did Angie buy a turkey from the butcher that was delivered alive?
40:38What do you guys think?
40:40I
40:41Think
40:43I think I know this
40:44So I'm going to let Roisin sweat it
40:51All I've got is that song
40:52Okay, I think
40:55I think
40:58You've got a sausage that looked like Lana Del Rey
41:01Does that line up with what you were thinking Fatia?
41:03Oh no
41:04What were you thinking?
41:05I'm excited though
41:06Because if it is
41:07When we say bring out the pig in blanket that looks like Lana Del Rey
41:11That's when we get the BAFTA
41:14What do you think?
41:14I think it's the deer
41:16Because I remember seeing a clip
41:17Because I watch TV a lot
41:19Because that's who I am
41:20And I think it's the deer
41:23All right
41:23Do you want to
41:24She looks like she don't take shit
41:27Do you want to go deer and Roche?
41:28Do you want to go sausage?
41:30I always want to go sausage
41:34All right
41:35That's a sign
41:37Happy Christmas
41:38Happy Christmas
41:40Can we get that made into a gif as well please?
41:42Roll with that
41:43Angie, so you've got one each
41:44Angie, can you please tell us how you're connected to the news?
41:49I've got a beautiful baby reindeer called Lars
41:52Who's grown up as dog
41:55Yay!
42:02I suppose the question is, why does your reindeer think it's a dog?
42:07When he was only two or three days old he needed help being fed so he came into the house
42:13and he's basically lived with the dogs and myself since
42:17Oh
42:19And you can see pictures of him
42:21So when people come to your house
42:22Which one's a reindeer?
42:24When people come to your house they sing
42:25Angie, Angie, is it a dog, is it a deer
42:32Is it going to get the antlers soon?
42:35It's got little antlers this size and then they'll fall off in the next few months and then they'll go
42:40a new set
42:40A bit like me but not quite
42:44Angie, thank you so much, have a happy Christmas
42:46Happy Christmas
42:47Thank God, Angie
42:47All the best for your dear
42:49Oh, right
42:49What's this?
42:54What kind of host, what kind of guests, why aren't we getting antlers?
42:58I don't know why they were given to us, you're more than welcome
43:00I'll tell you why it is inclusion, they felt jealous because of me
43:04They were like, let us have some headgear, innit?
43:07Yeah, I'm just out here better than yours, you look shit
43:09I'm just out here, bareback in my head
43:12Hold on
43:13All right, Josh has been defaming the last seven days, what have you got?
43:15First up, we got a message from Simon Adam and he said
43:21Stratford to White City is 35 minutes on the Central Line
43:26And somebody would have given up their seat for you
43:29And the other is a behind-the-scenes
43:31Yeah
43:32There was a bit that was meant to be in the show where me and Brooke
43:34Are dressed up as a pantomime horse and did dressage
43:36In tonight's show?
43:37Yeah
43:38Yeah, we did it in rehearsal
43:39It wasn't good enough in rehearsal
43:40Yeah
43:42And it was deemed so bad it couldn't go on TV
43:44Bearing in mind what makes it in
43:47But they did film it and now they're telling us we should show the audience what our rehearsal was
43:52Okay
43:52Would you like to see us trying to do pantomime horse dressage?
44:16Yes
44:16What's going on?
44:22Move it around there
44:23Yeah
44:25Oh my good lord
44:28Looks like a Pixar version of Human Centipede
44:38Alright, we are about to end the show with a very special performance from the Music Man Project
44:42Which is a choir made up of people with learning disabilities
44:44Who've performed at the London Palladium, the Royal Albert Hall and for His Majesty the King
44:48They also gave a spectacular concert in Rome last week
44:52David, who is the leader of the choir, what's next for the Music Man Project?
44:56Well Adam, I've got a world exclusive for everyone here
44:59Yeah
44:59Because on October the 7th next year
45:02The Music Man Project will play Broadway in New York
45:13We are so happy to have you close the show for us tonight
45:16But before we do, would you please thank our guests Fatia Al Gorey
45:19And Roslyn Conaty
45:22And my co-host Josh Whittacombe
45:24And Alex Brooker
45:28We'll be back on Christmas Eve with comedian Harry Hill and presenter Alison Hammond
45:32And we'll have a Christmas sing-along with Rick Astley
45:33But right now, this is the Music Man Project performing Jingle Bells
45:37Thanks for watching The Last League, my name's Adam Hills
45:39See you next week for The Last League of Christmas
45:46I should feel the snow
45:48One horse-offen sleigh
45:50All the fields we go
45:53Nothing on the way
45:56Sounds of want to read
45:58Making spirits bright
46:00But fun it is to ride and see the joy
46:03It's all tonight
46:04Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
46:08Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:12Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way
46:16Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:20Hey, dashin' through the snow on one horse over the sleigh
46:24All the pills we go, lovin' all the way
46:29Bells of the nursery, make the spirits bright
46:33What fun it is to ride in a sleigh of sleigh
46:36Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:41Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:44Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:48Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:52Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:55Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
46:58Oh, a party needs to ride in one horse over the sleigh
47:06Save me
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