Forsdyke is a reformed-ish jewel thief who keeps relapsing. He joins Crooks Anonymous, a support group for criminals trying to go straight (think AA for thieves). He falls for a woman (Christie) and tries to stay clean, but his old habits and old associates pull him back in—leading to a heist-gone-wrong at a charity gala. It’s a light caper farce about trying (and failing) to reform.
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00:00:28The End
00:00:48You must resist temptation.
00:00:52Resist temptation?
00:01:27You must resist temptation.
00:01:57You must resist temptation.
00:02:01Oh, my God.
00:02:31Try this one, Arthur, and make sure it really fits.
00:02:34This is a superb ring, sir.
00:02:36Best Italian craftsmanship.
00:02:37Good evening, sir. May I be of assistance?
00:02:39You may, Sport. I'm looking for an engagement ring.
00:02:42I've finally been hooked.
00:02:47What price had we in mind, sir?
00:02:50Oh, say, fifty?
00:02:52Fifty.
00:03:04Got any others?
00:03:07I mean, it's a bit small, even for a midget.
00:03:13Eight hundred and sixty pounds, sir, tax included.
00:03:16I think you will not find a better modern piece anywhere in London.
00:03:20Star Emerald, mounted in platinum.
00:03:23Well, what do you think of this one, Reginald?
00:03:26Well, it's not bad.
00:03:27It's hardly going to show among them others you've got on.
00:03:30Haven't you got anything bigger?
00:03:32You can do better than that in Leeds.
00:03:34Show them the one we bought in the arcade, look.
00:03:38Six hundred, that was.
00:03:40Flawless.
00:03:41I've always had the best since Reginald became a public company.
00:03:45Try that one, look.
00:03:53What do you think to it, then?
00:03:55No.
00:03:56No.
00:03:59I see.
00:04:00Something to give you.
00:04:05No.
00:04:06What about that little, uh...
00:04:12I'm not with any of these, Sport.
00:04:14I am, sorry, sir.
00:04:16I'll tell you what.
00:04:17I'll bring my fiancée in tomorrow.
00:04:18She can make her own choice.
00:04:19That's true, true, Sport?
00:04:20As you wish, sir.
00:04:21What a good lad.
00:04:24Oh.
00:04:25Well, we'd better try another shot, then, Arsens.
00:04:28No good coming all this way for nowt.
00:04:32Have you got my ring, Reginald?
00:04:34You left it on the counter, Arsens.
00:04:35I never did.
00:04:37Did I?
00:04:37You didn't see me putting on counter, did you?
00:04:40Now, don't get excited.
00:04:42Mrs. Kundal's always losing things.
00:04:43Last week, she forgot where she parked my new Bentley mark, too.
00:04:48Well, where is it?
00:04:50It's gone.
00:04:51It's gone.
00:04:53Me lovely suffer.
00:05:12Good evening, Captain Forsyke.
00:05:13It is, Fort.
00:05:14Just in time, Captain.
00:05:15Miss Laverne's just going on.
00:05:16Good show.
00:05:42Good evening, Sport.
00:05:43Good evening, sir.
00:05:44Brandy ginger, please.
00:05:49Thanks, sir.
00:06:02Good show, eh?
00:06:04Good show.
00:06:09Good show.
00:06:30Nice guy.
00:06:31Nice guy.
00:06:46Disgusting.
00:07:03Funny thing happened to be on my way to the theatre tonight.
00:07:07C'est moi, Monsieur Le Capitaine.
00:07:09Just a minute, I haven't got any clothes on.
00:07:11Oh, I don't mind.
00:07:15You can come in now.
00:07:18Just couldn't wait to tell you how marvellous you were, Shari.
00:07:22Was I? That's nice.
00:07:27Can I be a good boy and turn your back while I get dressed?
00:07:29Sure, sure. I never get tired of watching you do your act. Never.
00:07:34It's so artistic.
00:07:41Had a hard day?
00:07:43Not bad, not bad.
00:07:44Certain amount of business.
00:07:46Called in at the club.
00:07:47Sold my old commanding officer, actually.
00:07:50I'd follow him anyway, you know.
00:07:52Gave me a 61 winner.
00:07:53Is it me?
00:07:55Sure, sure.
00:07:57Yes, 150 quid, actually.
00:07:59Phew!
00:08:00Born lucky.
00:08:02That's me.
00:08:03Luck, luck.
00:08:04That's all my dad used to talk about.
00:08:06Yes, his was all bad.
00:08:07That's why he spent so much time in jail.
00:08:10Oh, Dandy, I'm so glad you're going straight.
00:08:12You've been wonderful this last month.
00:08:14Really, you have.
00:08:15I never thought you'd have the strength to do it.
00:08:17For the first time in my life, I feel clean.
00:08:24You are going to marry me soon, aren't you, Dandy?
00:08:27Yes, Dandy.
00:08:29Now you've really proved yourself, of course.
00:08:33What did you do with the 150 quid you won today?
00:08:37Spent it.
00:08:39Spent it?
00:08:40What on?
00:08:40Well, now, I'll tell you later.
00:08:43How about coming round to my place after the show, hmm?
00:08:46All right.
00:08:49Later.
00:08:51You know, darling, when we get our little cottage in the country,
00:08:55we're going to have stereophonic sound in every room.
00:08:59Oh, I don't want a place like that.
00:09:00Huh?
00:09:00I want a cottage with beams and lattice windows and hollyhocks.
00:09:06Oh, my.
00:09:07Like the one we saw in the film at the Rietta, you know.
00:09:09Well, darling, that was in California.
00:09:11Oh, but they have the same sort of thing in this country.
00:09:13Yeah.
00:09:13And we'll have sheep and cows and pigs and bulls.
00:09:19Bulls?
00:09:20Well, one bull should be enough, surely.
00:09:28Come on, Dandy.
00:09:29What's my advice?
00:09:30Hold on.
00:09:31My ring.
00:09:32What?
00:09:33Come and get it.
00:09:34It's under there.
00:09:38Oh, don't you stand it.
00:09:39There.
00:09:49Don't worry, darling.
00:09:51I'll find it.
00:09:55Since when were your initials F.D.?
00:09:59Well, it's quite all right, darling.
00:10:01It belongs to a friend.
00:10:05Really?
00:10:09What's his name?
00:10:11Well, there's no damage down there, eh?
00:10:13Here we are, darling.
00:10:16Name?
00:10:17Frank.
00:10:19Frank Docker.
00:10:21You mean Francis Davenport, don't you?
00:10:24Sales manager at the Platonic Suction Company.
00:10:30I suppose you stole this, too.
00:10:35Darling, I was going to buy you one with my own money.
00:10:40Then I saw that.
00:10:41Well, it was just asking to be taken.
00:10:45I couldn't resist the temptation.
00:10:46I never can.
00:10:47That's my trouble, you see, darling.
00:10:50Look, I have tried.
00:10:52You know I have.
00:10:53It just doesn't seem to work with me, that's all.
00:10:56It's no good, Dandy.
00:10:58I thought if I worked and saved, you'd do the same.
00:11:01Lies and promises.
00:11:03If you're as bad as my dad,
00:11:05you'll end up the way he did, too.
00:11:06Darling.
00:11:07Darling, please.
00:11:08Please don't come.
00:11:09Now, please.
00:11:11Come on.
00:11:12Give me one more chance.
00:11:15Oh, go on.
00:11:17Go on.
00:11:19Be a sport.
00:11:24Show me one thing.
00:11:27Just one thing in this room that you've come by honestly.
00:11:37Well, um...
00:11:44There must be something out there.
00:11:46Hey, what about this?
00:11:47Eh?
00:11:48The picture, I mean.
00:11:49Not, not the friend.
00:11:51Even the camera you took it with was stolen.
00:11:54I must have been crazy to think you'd go straight for five minutes.
00:12:04See you around.
00:12:05My bear.
00:12:06Don't go, darling.
00:12:07Look, don't go, please.
00:12:08Darling, give me a...
00:12:14Is this goodbye?
00:12:18Is this the end of our affair?
00:12:23Is this the final moment when our dreams are past repair?
00:12:34Is it too late?
00:12:38Don't say that our love will have to die.
00:12:43Please come back to my arms and never let us...
00:12:50I don't know why we had to come here for lunch.
00:12:52Well, three out of four horoscopes say that Sagittarians should get out in the open air today.
00:12:58Besides, it's ever so pretty.
00:13:03You're feeding the birds, sir?
00:13:05Yes, indeed, officer.
00:13:07Although it does not come under the heading of pastoral duties,
00:13:11I like to bring succor to our little feathered friends
00:13:14in periods of inclement weather.
00:13:17Oh!
00:13:20Oh!
00:13:20Go!
00:13:21Go!
00:13:24Go!
00:13:26Go!
00:13:27Go!
00:13:28Go!
00:13:29Go!
00:13:32Go!
00:13:32Go!
00:13:34Go!
00:13:34Go!
00:13:36Go!
00:13:37Go!
00:13:38Go!
00:13:41Go!
00:13:43Go!
00:13:45Go!
00:13:50Did you do that, son?
00:13:52It was an accident.
00:13:53Can we have our ball back, please?
00:13:56Can you have your ball?
00:13:59You little creep.
00:14:05Have a good mind to pull your perishing ears off.
00:14:12Sadly, Jim.
00:14:20Surely you're going to see Darnley again?
00:14:23Oh, no.
00:14:24What are you going to do, then?
00:14:26I'll manage.
00:14:28You'll find another fellow quick enough.
00:14:30I don't want to find another fellow.
00:14:32I still love him.
00:14:35Dirty crook.
00:14:37Why don't you give him one more chance, eh?
00:14:40I don't know what my ma went through.
00:14:42I'd never marry a jailbird.
00:14:57You know, if I felt like you did, I'd never be able to hold out.
00:15:01Darnley's got as much chance of going straight as a snake in a jam jar.
00:15:06That's where you're wrong, my dear.
00:15:11I beg your pardon?
00:15:13I think that I can help you.
00:15:17Sinners are my speciality.
00:15:22Warehouse down in Shoreditch, as a matter of fact.
00:15:26Safe with a double combination.
00:15:29Just the job for them sensitive fingers of yours.
00:15:31Now, look here, Woodsy.
00:15:33Can't you get it into your thick bonce?
00:15:36I'm going straight.
00:15:37Straight.
00:15:41How much is there in it?
00:15:43Half a grand.
00:15:45Chicken feet?
00:15:46Cast-iron certainly don't.
00:15:47Chief accountant told me.
00:15:49You don't know any chief accountants.
00:15:52I know his bit of skirt.
00:15:55As a matter of fact,
00:15:58she's the one who gave me, uh, this.
00:16:05The safe's in this room, eh?
00:16:28The safe's in this room, eh?
00:16:30I wouldn't touch that if I were you, brother.
00:16:34It's a fair copy, Inspector.
00:16:37Not Inspector.
00:16:38The name is Widows.
00:16:40Horace Widows, Guardian Angel 24,
00:16:44of Crooks Anonymous.
00:17:10There's no need to get the breeze up, Captain.
00:17:13Senior brothers, the salt of the earth.
00:17:15You can tell him anything.
00:17:17You're among friends here.
00:17:20We've all been inside.
00:17:23Including me.
00:17:25What?
00:17:26You mean you, uh...
00:17:28Afraid so.
00:17:29Shoplifting.
00:17:30Got 18 months.
00:17:32I say.
00:17:33It was a bit steep, wasn't it?
00:17:34I was on my beat at the time.
00:17:37As a police officer,
00:17:39my sentence was all the more severe.
00:17:44Crooks Anonymous at your service.
00:17:47Oh, it's you, Lawrence.
00:17:48Yes, of course.
00:17:49Right away.
00:17:51He's such a dear man.
00:17:53He'll see us now.
00:17:56I say.
00:17:58I am glad you've joined us.
00:18:00I don't want to appear snobbish,
00:18:02but we do get some perfectly ghastly people here.
00:18:05It's so much nicer when the patient's a gentleman.
00:18:15Ah, Captain Falsdike.
00:18:17Nice to see you.
00:18:19Come along in.
00:18:21Oh, thanks, Sport.
00:18:22Come along.
00:18:28You'll excuse us, please, sister.
00:18:30Yes, of course.
00:18:32Everything's going to be all right.
00:18:34Now, don't worry.
00:18:36Now, my dear Captain,
00:18:37I know everything about you,
00:18:39but you know nothing about me or my organization.
00:18:41I owe everything to this dear lady.
00:18:45I was a ardent criminal,
00:18:47if I may say so, one of the best in the business,
00:18:49when Mrs. Mandeville walked into my life
00:18:51or, to be more precise, into my cell.
00:18:54She was a prison visitor.
00:18:55A most delightful person.
00:18:58Worth 200,000 pounds.
00:19:01Sterly.
00:19:02How did you manage to get it off that sport?
00:19:05Well, I must admit,
00:19:06I did intend to relieve her of it
00:19:09as soon as I'd finished my sentence,
00:19:10but happily she passed on before I was released.
00:19:14Happily?
00:19:16Her will left everything to me,
00:19:18provided I went straight and helped to reform others.
00:19:21Now, you must believe me, Captain,
00:19:22when I say I'm not the sort of man
00:19:24to turn down a couple of hundred grand,
00:19:26even though it was tied up in trust.
00:19:28So I bowed to my destiny,
00:19:31and I must say I found it most enjoyable.
00:19:34So now we, with the spirit of our dear benefactress,
00:19:38are going to help you,
00:19:40if that is what you desire.
00:19:43Well, I didn't come here to blow bubbles, sport.
00:19:46Very well then, Captain.
00:19:48You'll stay here with us, incarcerated, so to speak,
00:19:51learning to resist temptation.
00:19:53And when we think fit, we'll send you out into the big world
00:19:56with a guardian angel.
00:19:58Guardian what?
00:19:59A reformed criminal whose help you'll seek
00:20:02whenever you have an overwhelming desire
00:20:05to commit a crime or felony.
00:20:08Are you willing to cooperate, Captain Forsdyke?
00:20:12I'll do anything you say, sport,
00:20:14if there's a chance of getting Babette back.
00:20:18Good.
00:20:19Then, for a start, kindly desist from calling me sport.
00:20:24Excuse me a minute.
00:21:12I'm afraid I'll be five or ten minutes. Can you amuse yourself?
00:21:16Oh, yes. I think so.
00:21:55Naughty boy.
00:22:03I'm sadly disappointed in you, Forsdyke.
00:22:06To fail so simple a test shows not only a deplorable lack of willpower
00:22:10but also a marked degree of gullibility.
00:22:12You now answer the following questions, please.
00:22:14Name in full.
00:22:15Captain Pierce and Obin Forsdyke.
00:22:18Age?
00:22:19Thirty-six.
00:22:21Educated?
00:22:22Eton, Magdalen.
00:22:24Any military service?
00:22:26Three years. Brigade of Guards, of course.
00:22:29Of course.
00:22:31Decorations?
00:22:33MCM bar.
00:22:34I see.
00:22:35What caused you to embark on a career of crime?
00:22:39Well, it all started as a result of a war wound.
00:22:43Career, actually.
00:22:44Bad luck.
00:22:46Ghastly experience.
00:22:47Shook up the old grey matter a bit, I'm afraid.
00:22:50Causing you to drift into crime.
00:22:53Exactly.
00:22:54Exactly.
00:22:55Have you got all that?
00:22:56Brother.
00:22:57Please.
00:23:02Not only are you a cracksman, a burglar and a petty thief, you're also an unmitigated liar, suffering from delusions
00:23:11of grandeur.
00:23:13Oh, I wouldn't say that.
00:23:15You will now give me the correct answers to my questions and sit down.
00:23:26Name?
00:23:27Captain Pierce and Oban Forstike.
00:23:30You're real then.
00:23:34Fred Cox.
00:23:36That's better.
00:23:38Any military service?
00:23:41None, actually.
00:23:43Education?
00:23:44None.
00:23:45None, actually.
00:23:47Unless you can't reform school.
00:23:49We count everything, brother Cox.
00:23:53Oh, please.
00:23:54Call me Forstike, sir.
00:23:57Very well, but that'll be the only concession I'll make.
00:24:00Oh, one final observation.
00:24:03Yes, sir.
00:24:04This course is entirely voluntary, but once started, you must see it through to the end.
00:24:10And if I don't?
00:24:12Well, then we turn this dossier over to the police.
00:24:14We should have enough here to get you ten years.
00:24:18Sport.
00:24:20Ah, brother Forstike will be joining us, brother Widows.
00:24:24He'll take the full course.
00:24:28Oh, I was hoping he would.
00:24:32With connective training?
00:24:34Run along.
00:24:38Everything here has been worked out scientifically by senior brother and myself.
00:24:43We're both familiar with the workings of the criminal mind.
00:24:48Especially small-time chisellers with phony ranks and fancy accents.
00:24:53I say, they're steady on.
00:24:55This room, for example,
00:24:58is where people such as you learn not only to resist the temptation to open safes,
00:25:04but also to become nauseated by the very sight of them.
00:25:11Too much of a good thing, eh? Like being locked up in a harem.
00:25:15A juvenile observation. Empty your pockets.
00:25:20What?
00:25:22Take your coat off.
00:25:31I'm afraid I'm rather a heavy smoker.
00:25:33Nerves, all that, you know.
00:25:36There are plenty of cigarettes in the box, should you require one.
00:25:40Well, it's very thoughtful of you.
00:25:43Where is it?
00:25:46In one of the safes.
00:25:52Which one?
00:25:55Should you feel hungry, you will find solid and liquid refreshment dispersed among them.
00:26:02It is, of course, up to you to find in which.
00:26:07Hey, but Tom...
00:26:08I will see you later.
00:26:22Ah!
00:26:23I don't know.
00:26:25Crazy idea, this is.
00:26:29Good Lord.
00:26:36No.
00:26:51I don't know.
00:26:53No.
00:26:55No.
00:26:57No.
00:26:58No.
00:26:59No.
00:26:59No.
00:27:09Oh, I forgot to mention, some of the safes are fitted with scientific devices of a humorous nature.
00:27:21I'm afraid I'm terribly late.
00:27:23How is he?
00:27:24Is there anything he wants?
00:27:25Food, parcels, or cigarettes, or anything?
00:27:27No, he's fine.
00:27:29He's got everything.
00:27:30At least he should have by now.
00:27:32I've got to be at the theatre in 15 minutes.
00:27:33Oh, this won't take a jiff.
00:27:36Now, where can I plug it in?
00:27:38Over there.
00:27:40It's going to be so uplifting to the dead boy's morale.
00:27:43I thought you said he was all right.
00:27:44He has his downs as well as his ups, you know.
00:27:48Now, let's just run through the script, shall we?
00:27:52Being an actress, this should be a child's play for you.
00:27:55Oh, but I'm not an actress.
00:27:57I'm only on the stage.
00:27:58Oh, never mind.
00:28:01I'll show you how to do it.
00:28:04I just love acting.
00:28:06Testing, testing, testing.
00:28:08One, two, three, four, five.
00:28:11Roger and out.
00:28:12It's always best to do what the handbook says.
00:28:15Stand by for Brother Forstike's reminders.
00:28:17Take one, action.
00:28:21Well done, my darling boy.
00:28:24I always knew you could defy temptation.
00:28:27I'm by your side.
00:28:29Let's lick this thing together.
00:28:33Like it?
00:28:35Yes.
00:28:36Mm-mm.
00:28:37You see, there's absolutely nothing to it.
00:28:40Now, you have a go, dear.
00:28:43Try the next stanza.
00:28:48Oh, dandy.
00:28:49What a beastly thing to do.
00:28:51I didn't realise what a rotten weakling you are.
00:28:54You'll have to do better than that if you wish to keep my love.
00:28:57Oh, this won't do at all.
00:28:58Please let me say it in my own words.
00:29:00I thought it was rather good, actually.
00:29:03I composed it.
00:29:06Very well.
00:29:10Take two, action.
00:29:15Dandy, darling.
00:29:16This is your Babette speaking.
00:29:18I miss you so much, but I'm so proud of you.
00:29:23Whatever happens, please don't give up,
00:29:25because when you're cured, we'll be married.
00:29:27I promise.
00:29:29How was that?
00:29:31Oh, lovely.
00:29:33Lovely.
00:29:35Lucky brother of Warstein.
00:30:20I say, sport.
00:30:26brother
00:30:29could I have my lighter
00:30:34what about a match then friend
00:30:36there are plenty of matches in the safe
00:30:39I know but which one
00:30:43oh I was hoping you were going to ask that
00:30:47because I'm not going to tell you
00:30:50I give up I resign
00:30:52send for senior brother whatever he calls himself
00:30:55first we must break ourselves
00:30:57of our nasty little habits
00:31:03I've had enough I refuse to go on
00:31:05I'm throwing in the flag
00:31:07I'm pulling down the old towel
00:31:09I demand to see senior brother
00:31:17be patient Andy darling
00:31:19how can I be patient I'm starving
00:31:21I know it's hard for you
00:31:22but keep going
00:31:24I love you so much
00:31:25bow on nuts
00:31:27it's no good brother
00:31:29we all love you
00:31:31so much
00:31:33and you too
00:31:51here we go again
00:32:07I love you
00:32:09I love you
00:32:10I love you
00:32:36brother
00:32:37brother how do I turn this blasted bell off
00:32:40turn off the switch
00:32:41where is it
00:32:43yes
00:32:44good morning
00:32:56no no no don't pass
00:32:57thank you
00:32:58what progress on the trainees
00:33:00oh brother Grimsdale's completed the temptation course
00:33:03brother Mosley's had a relapse
00:33:06what about brother Forsdyke
00:33:08how's he getting on in the safe department
00:33:09oh he's in his seventh day
00:33:11he hasn't opened one for 24 hours
00:33:14he's absolutely at the end of his tether
00:33:17good
00:33:18who's been appointed as his guardian angel
00:33:20well I thought brother Bassett would be suitable
00:33:22if you approve
00:33:23well that's what he's the same type isn't he
00:33:24over romantic tea leaf and veteran liar
00:33:27he's doing awfully well on the stock exchange
00:33:29keen as mustard
00:33:31very good idea
00:33:33perhaps he could take brother Forsdyke
00:33:35for a little outing
00:33:39oh my god
00:33:45this is the life hey brother
00:33:46lovely nip in the air what
00:33:49like champagne
00:33:50huh
00:33:52aren't you glad that you invested in salvation
00:33:55hallelujah
00:33:56glory to the stock exchange
00:34:01oh no no no what's this a damsel in distress
00:34:10I was terribly sorry
00:34:12but I wonder if you could help me
00:34:14at your service man
00:34:16ah puncture
00:34:17yes and that's not all
00:34:20the engine
00:34:21it just fluttered and stopped
00:34:22well let's have a look see shall we
00:34:28do you know anything about cars
00:34:29no and I don't want to
00:34:31somebody got out of the wrong side of his cell this morning
00:34:34I'm sure I'll have it fixed in no time at all
00:34:43oh I'm afraid you've run out of gas
00:34:46oh dear what shall I do
00:34:48I'm supposed to be meeting daddy at the airport for lunch
00:34:51and lunch with daddy you shall
00:34:56I tell you what
00:34:59you and I will pop along to the nearest petrol shop
00:35:01and my colleague here will be delighted to change the wheel while we've gone
00:35:04all right old boy
00:35:07it is sweet of you you are a gentleman
00:35:10the jack's in the boot
00:35:15Charlie
00:35:17see you later brother
00:35:20and don't forget you're on parole
00:35:22oh we'll go to
00:35:39oh
00:35:41oh
00:35:41oh
00:36:10I say...
00:36:12hello hello as soon as possible hey that's bad luck I must say can't you
00:36:18contact a.a. oh I hadn't thought of that you're not going to London by any chance
00:36:23are you? well as a matter of fact I am I I'm a
00:36:26Crington manager for plumped and spotted meats I dare say you've heard of them
00:36:31probably eaten them they're delicious I must say oh I can give you a lift if you
00:36:39don't mind traveling in sidecar I say this most awfully civil of you
00:36:46oh I'm afraid that there's no room for luggage so you'll have to collect that
00:36:50later I know you because I've got an appointment with mr. Grimsdale he's our
00:36:55general sales manager could you manage your sister oh that's all right
00:36:59yes I do hop in oh and and don't sit in me city act that's right make yourself
00:37:08comfortable it's got an eater and all had it put in for our Alice you can have
00:37:1240 winks if you like oh my name's Gordon Merriweather what's yours Piers
00:37:19Forstack captain Piers Forstack oh well I'm pleased to meet you captain I've never
00:37:24given a lift to a naval chap before
00:37:28well captain anchors away
00:37:56That's as far as I go, Captain.
00:37:58Oh, yeah.
00:37:59Can you run it?
00:38:00Yes, I think so.
00:38:02There we go.
00:38:11Will that be all, senior brother?
00:38:13I think so.
00:38:15Brother Widow.
00:38:21This way, Captain.
00:38:37Just trying these on.
00:38:39I hope you don't mind.
00:38:41Actually, I called to give a progress report on Brother Forstike.
00:38:44How is he?
00:38:44Has he lost any more weight?
00:38:46No, he's fine.
00:38:48You'll be amazed what the last few weeks have done for him.
00:38:50But is he cured?
00:38:51I mean, you haven't altered him too much, have you?
00:38:54Only for the better.
00:38:56He's due for his final test this afternoon.
00:38:58If he passes, you can collect him in the morning.
00:39:02Oh, Sister Brunella, how can I ever thank you?
00:39:05You don't have to.
00:39:06The sight of Brother Forstike going straight is enough for all of us.
00:39:12Hallelujah.
00:39:15Now, there's absolutely nothing to worry about.
00:39:18We're just going to meet a few of the men and women
00:39:20who've successfully completed the course before you
00:39:23and have triumphed in the hurly-burly of the outside world.
00:39:29Now, you first, Brother Grimsdale.
00:39:44Brothers, this is Brother Grimsdale.
00:39:47Brother Corpio.
00:39:48Glad to see you.
00:39:49Brother Jones.
00:39:49How are you?
00:39:50This is your fourth attempt, isn't it, Brother?
00:39:52If at first you don't succeed and all that jazz.
00:39:55And Brother Grims.
00:39:57Not old Bugsy Grims.
00:40:00We were colleagues in Dartmoor Penitentiary.
00:40:04Happily, those days are far behind us.
00:40:07They may be you, Bugsy,
00:40:09but some of us haven't got our diplomas yet.
00:40:14And now?
00:40:15Oh, excuse me.
00:40:16If you are.
00:40:17And now?
00:40:20I want you to meet Dame Sylvia Wendover.
00:40:23How do you do?
00:40:24One of our welfare workers.
00:40:26Do sit down and tell me all about yourself.
00:40:31Well, it all began in the Sloane Square branch of Bank of Wales.
00:40:38A penny for your thoughts.
00:40:41I'll get you a nice cubby tea.
00:40:48Yes, well, I was a junior cashier when Temptation first put my hand in the till.
00:40:54Oh, dear.
00:40:54It was only a trivial sum.
00:40:57Fifty or a hundred.
00:40:58A mere trifle I quite understand.
00:41:01Temptation is always waiting around the corner.
00:41:04Just one of those little things we must learn to fight against.
00:41:08And then, how did you continue to go on the downward path?
00:41:18Brothers, sisters, look.
00:41:19Brother Wiseman has just arrived by helicopter.
00:41:28Helicopter.
00:41:28Oh, a helicopter.
00:41:30I've never seen one of those before.
00:41:58I'm sadly disappointed in you, Brother Grimsdale.
00:42:01Will you never learn?
00:42:03I'm afraid we've left it too late, Senior Brother.
00:42:06Oh!
00:42:12You!
00:42:26Brothers and sisters,
00:42:29this is Brother Forstike.
00:42:32Brother Caulfield.
00:42:33How do you do?
00:42:34Brother Grogan.
00:42:35How do you do?
00:42:36And Brother Jones.
00:42:38Delighted.
00:42:38Hello there.
00:42:39And now I want you to meet Dame Sylvia Wendover,
00:42:42one of our welfare workers.
00:42:44How do you do?
00:42:45Sit down, young man, and tell me all about yourself.
00:42:49I'll get you a nice cup of tea.
00:43:07Excuse me, Madam.
00:43:08Your handbag was open.
00:43:10Oh, how kind.
00:43:18Brothers and sisters, look!
00:43:19Brother Wiseman has just arrived by helicopter.
00:43:25Oh, a helicopter.
00:43:27I've never seen one of those before.
00:43:54You know, if you're not careful, you're going to lose your bag, Madam.
00:43:57Well done, Brother Forstike.
00:44:00Not only have you resisted temptation, but your actions go far beyond the call of honesty.
00:44:07Well done, Brother Forstike.
00:44:09Hallelujah, Brother.
00:44:10Thank you very much.
00:44:10Brothers, I knew you'd do it.
00:44:12I should have appreciated your compliments all the better,
00:44:14if you'd all been a little more honest with me.
00:44:17Still, not to worry.
00:44:19Goodbye.
00:44:22Dame Sylvia bloody Wendover.
00:44:25Ah, Brother Widows.
00:44:27Very neat, you fast-reflying colours.
00:44:30Thank you very much.
00:44:38Come on.
00:44:42Home at last.
00:44:44Come on, come on.
00:44:48Carry over the threshold.
00:44:49No, no, no, not now.
00:44:49It's unlucky.
00:44:51Come on.
00:44:51Oh, Dandy.
00:44:52Dandy.
00:44:53Oh, it's wonderful to be back.
00:44:54Oh, look, Dandy, before you go in.
00:44:56Come on.
00:44:58Hey, where's all my furniture?
00:45:00My works of art.
00:45:02I've been robbed.
00:45:09Where's my lovely bed?
00:45:10Like everything else, Brother, it's been sold.
00:45:14Do you really say you've had the cheek to flog all my gear?
00:45:17You wish to start with the slate wiped clean, don't you?
00:45:21Well, yes, but I mean, not all that clean.
00:45:24How much did you get for it?
00:45:25Three hundred pounds.
00:45:27Ah, well, that's more like it.
00:45:28Naturally, I gave it all to charity.
00:45:31We don't run crooks anonymous on fresh air, you know.
00:45:34Well, I know, but after all, I mean...
00:45:38Senior Brother said that's what you'd have wanted.
00:45:40He would, the hypocritical old.
00:45:44Yes, well, I suppose Senior Brother knows best.
00:45:48Senior Brother always knows best.
00:45:52Tomorrow morning you will report to this address.
00:45:57And don't forget, if ever you should feel even the tiniest twinge of temptation, dial uncrook immediately and we will
00:46:05send a guardian angel to your aid.
00:46:07That will never be necessary, Brother.
00:46:10We shall see.
00:46:12Good afternoon, Sister.
00:46:17Au revoir, Brother.
00:46:21Oh, Dandy, darling.
00:46:23I do admire you so much.
00:46:25Now we can get married right away.
00:46:26Oh, no, darling, we've got to wait.
00:46:29But, Dandy, you've always wanted to.
00:46:31Oh, yes, but not till I've earned some money.
00:46:33Oh, don't be silly, I've got five hundred pounds in the bank.
00:46:35What sort of a chap do you think I am?
00:46:38Certainly not.
00:46:39When we get married, there's only going to be one breadwinner.
00:46:42Yours truly.
00:46:43Oh, Dandy, you're so wonderful.
00:46:47I know I am.
00:46:50Last night, she said her old man was on my book, but he came home early.
00:46:56Oh, excuse me.
00:47:09Oh, Dandy.
00:47:10Crooks Anonymous, eh?
00:47:11Yes, sir.
00:47:13Fixing you chaps up is never easy, you know, especially at Christmas time.
00:47:16Let's see now.
00:47:19Dustman.
00:47:20Road sweeper.
00:47:23Postman.
00:47:24I think not.
00:47:26Bank messenger.
00:47:31Anything you feel particularly cut out for?
00:47:35Well, I would quite like to be an actor.
00:47:39An actor, eh?
00:47:42You're in luck for, Stoke.
00:47:44Here's the very thing.
00:47:46Stand back there.
00:47:47Have your tickets ready, please.
00:47:49Ah, I've just had a message from Eskimo lad.
00:47:52Santa Claus is on his way.
00:47:54Push, push, push, push, push.
00:48:00Welcome to Rustler on Santa.
00:48:01And what lovely presents have you got in that sack?
00:48:07Now, who'd like this one, eh?
00:48:13Hey, hey, hey, gentle with Santa there.
00:48:14Gentle with Santa.
00:48:23Help!
00:48:28Mr. Partridge, whatever are you doing?
00:48:32And you, Forslake, stop playing around.
00:48:35I couldn't help it, Mr. Wackstaff.
00:48:36They get worse every day, you know.
00:48:38No excuses.
00:48:40Take your lunch hour now.
00:48:41You can have 15 minutes.
00:48:46My watch!
00:48:47One of those little crooks has pinched my watch.
00:49:19What's the other?
00:49:20not captain woodsey just plain mister what are you doing here come to see you my old son got a
00:49:28job for it i'm already fully employed thank you woodsey ah but this is right up your street this
00:49:35is american bond safe triple tumbler schwartz combination anti-clop i say
00:49:44how many more times have i got to tell you woodsey i've put all that behind me
00:49:47oh yeah i heard about that this safe's got two grand in it and it's all in news notes
00:49:54news notes eh
00:49:58two grand news notes
00:50:07i got a far better idea woodsey well don't keep it to yourself my son spit it out
00:50:12why don't you reform what earn some honest money for a change you may be poor in pocket but you'll
00:50:19be
00:50:19rich in happiness hallelujah i think what crooks and olives will show you the way hey one woodsey
00:50:28let us save you
00:50:32you've gone off your butts i've never been more serious in my life woods
00:50:40you'll have me sitting in travaglia square next won't you oh just a minute woodsey
00:50:47changed your mind have you
00:50:53you know honesty is always the best policy don't you think why don't you see an edge
00:51:14what are you what are you doing here i couldn't wait till after the show look if there's somewhere we
00:51:18can talk yes yes come on
00:51:21i didn't expect to see you here darling i've only got 10 minutes you know
00:51:28i couldn't wait to give you your christmas present well i mustn't open it till tomorrow
00:51:31uh must i and which one is it here go on open it
00:51:41marriage license
00:51:44everything's arranged we're getting married the day after christmas
00:51:47darling
00:51:52what about your job i'm leaving it pleased well yes but things aren't going to be easy
00:51:59i'll be out of work too after tonight don't worry darling something's bound to turn up
00:52:11oh there you are hw can you spare a moment is it important i haven't banked my taking yet it's
00:52:18about the chairman's party there's a bit of an argument as to which head of department should
00:52:21actually make the presentation it may have to be wallace in groceries oh dear most unfortunate
00:52:27always smells of bacon who's the alternative williams of hardware or redware soft furnishings
00:52:40i think i have the solution gentlemen
00:52:45and one in keeping with the yuletide season
00:53:05one in keeping with the yuletide season
00:53:06and one in keeping with the july
00:53:06its own party
00:53:08and one in keeping with the yuletide season
00:53:16so
00:53:31Twenty-nine minutes past, Sir Harvey.
00:53:39I've got a date, Mr. Wagstaff. It's Christmas Eve. I've been paid off.
00:53:42If you please, Mr. Forsythe, a little loyalty to Russell Rods will not cover this.
00:53:48You are to have the honour of making a presentation to Sir Harvey himself.
00:53:53If you make a success of it, who knows? You may be re-engaged for the January sales.
00:53:57Excuse me, please. In there.
00:54:02When I give you the signal, bring that box to the dais. Understood?
00:54:06Mr. Wagstaff, I...
00:54:13Come along, everybody. Gather and ride. Our chairman has a few words to say.
00:54:22As you are all no doubt well aware, this is the occasion on which I inform the heads of the
00:54:26departments
00:54:26of the progress the store has made during this, the peak period.
00:54:30Today's takings, which you have just backed, amounted to...
00:54:34Come along, man. Come along.
00:54:37...amounted to...
00:54:42...257,322 pounds, six shillings and nitrons.
00:54:46Brawler!
00:54:47This is an all-time record.
00:54:54Inexplicably, leather goods, footwear and garden tools have failed to reach their target.
00:55:00I shall deal with those responsible after the holidays.
00:55:10And now, as always, let us toast our beloved chairman and his great department store.
00:55:23The store will reopen on the 27th of December at 8 a.m. precisely.
00:55:30Any unpunctuality or absence from whatsoever cause will be dealt with in the usual manner.
00:55:37Just one moment, sir, if you please.
00:55:44What is it, wagpole?
00:55:49On behalf of your loyal heads of department, sir,
00:55:52I beg to offer you this likeness of your good self
00:55:55by Miss Palmer of Hobbies and Pastimes, executed in fine old English clay.
00:56:00Not in the company's time, I trust.
00:56:03And who better to make the presentation than Santa himself?
00:56:10Sentimental bosh.
00:56:12Excuse me, make way for Santa.
00:56:17Make way for Santa, please.
00:56:22But get it over, man.
00:56:23What?
00:56:24Oh, yes, sir.
00:56:24Sorry, I can do it, sir.
00:56:26Forced ideas.
00:56:27There we are.
00:56:34Not bad.
00:56:35Not bad at all.
00:56:36Not bad at all.
00:56:37Hurry up, man.
00:56:38Yes, hurry up.
00:56:39Sir.
00:56:40Sister.
00:56:41Please, please, please.
00:56:44I've given up my whole evening for this.
00:56:46Now look what you've done, sir.
00:56:51Nincompoop!
00:56:54By your sycophantic attempts at ingratiating yourself, you have ruined an exquisite work
00:57:00of art.
00:57:01Immediately after this totally unnecessary holiday, you will report to my office where
00:57:05the whole future of your career at Brussels Royals, if indeed there be any, will be discussed.
00:57:14And a happy Christmas to you all.
00:57:20For he is a jolly good fellow, for he is a jolly good fellow, for he is a jolly good
00:57:29fellow.
00:57:32Can I go now?
00:57:34Certainly not.
00:57:35I haven't finished with you yet.
00:57:38Get in there.
00:57:43Nincompoop.
00:58:06I will see you.
00:58:16Oh, no.
00:58:51257,322 pounds, six shillings and nine pence.
00:59:28257,322 pounds, an all-time record.
00:59:54All well, Bert?
00:59:56All well on this crisp and happy youth-tired evening, Fred.
01:00:00Have a nip of whiskey, Bert.
01:00:01Thank you, George.
01:00:02Just a small one.
01:00:08When?
01:00:10Order, gentlemen, order.
01:00:13I would like to give you the night watchman's toast.
01:00:19Here's to our kind and beloved chairman, Sir Harvey Russellrods.
01:00:24May we wish him the same this year as we did last.
01:00:52After all, pigs ...
01:00:55I'm ready.
01:00:55I'm ready.
01:00:56I'm ready.
01:01:00I'm ready.
01:01:00I'm ready.
01:01:03Good job, don't you?
01:01:06Moses, don't you?
01:01:07You're ready.
01:01:07Here we go.
01:01:07Here we go.
01:01:08Sir Harvey Russellrods.
01:01:08We'll go.
01:01:08If you ever feel even the slightest twinge of temptation, dial un-crook immediately.
01:01:17Two hundred and fifty-seven thousand, three hundred and twenty-two pounds, six shillings and nine foot.
01:01:24If you ever feel even the slightest twinge of temptation, dial un-crook immediately.
01:01:30Dandy darling, you're so different now. I love you so much.
01:01:40U-N-C.
01:01:47Hello? Crooks Anonymous at your service.
01:01:50This is Brother Forstike here.
01:01:51Where are you?
01:01:53Russell Rod's store.
01:01:56Well, don't go in.
01:01:57I am in.
01:01:58Well, don't go into the strong room.
01:02:00I'm in the strong room.
01:02:01Well, don't open the door.
01:02:03I have opened it. I'm looking at the safe.
01:02:06Well, don't!
01:02:07Turn her back on it.
01:02:09I'll send help.
01:02:11Remember, don't look.
01:02:13Well, I...
01:02:14Please!
01:02:15Don't look at it.
01:02:17I'll try not to.
01:02:31Yes, I am, rather.
01:02:32Well, can you drop everything?
01:02:35Yes, of course.
01:02:36All right, how do I get in?
01:02:38Yes, I'll hold on.
01:02:40The side entrance is in Briankirk Street.
01:02:43Are you still there?
01:02:44Yes, yes, yes, yes, I'm here, yeah.
01:02:46The chairman's private entrance.
01:02:48In Briankirk Street.
01:02:50Brother Widows.
01:02:51Right.
01:02:55What's up, love?
01:02:56I'll give you your Christmas present later.
01:03:04Take it.
01:03:21Thank you, sir.
01:03:35Oh, hello, Brother Widows.
01:03:37Oh, you recognized me.
01:03:40Sister Prunella told me you'd be here.
01:03:42Ah, that's different.
01:03:43This way.
01:04:00There are several watchmen on the prowl.
01:04:03Right.
01:04:05That's his private lift.
01:04:08I'll stay on guard here.
01:04:16Am I dreaming, or is that the chairman's private lift?
01:04:20The one losing it, George.
01:04:24I shouldn't be surprised if it wasn't Sir Harvey flipping Russell Rod himself, Harry.
01:04:30Stay late to count his flipping money, I suppose.
01:04:45Stop!
01:04:47Electronic ray.
01:04:49You'll have to crawl under it.
01:04:51Really, Brother Forsdyke, how could you?
01:04:54After all that training, I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
01:05:00Is a little money so important?
01:05:02Now close the safe and get out of here.
01:05:04Do we have to?
01:05:06Yes, Brother Forsdyke, we most certainly do.
01:05:08Think of senior brother, our sister Prunella, brother Widows.
01:05:11Yes.
01:05:11And me.
01:05:13I'm sorry.
01:05:14I'm a swine.
01:05:15I'm a rotten swine.
01:05:18I'm afraid you are.
01:05:32There must be a hundred grand in here.
01:05:33To be precise, Brother, two hundred and fifty-seven thousand, three hundred and twenty-two pounds, six shillings and nine
01:05:39pence.
01:05:40None of it traceable.
01:05:42Still, as you say, is a little money so important?
01:05:47How can we get it out of here?
01:05:50What?
01:05:51Well, come.
01:05:52Now, Brother Bassett, shut the safe at once.
01:05:55Hold on.
01:05:55No, no.
01:05:56First, ma'am.
01:05:56First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:57First, ma'am.
01:05:58Let's look a little longer.
01:06:00Oh.
01:06:02Given us on a platter, isn't it?
01:06:06You don't blame me, do we, Sport?
01:06:08Of course not, dear boy.
01:06:09Of course not.
01:06:15I need help.
01:06:16Where's the phone?
01:06:17That's gonna take too long.
01:06:18I'll get Brother Willows.
01:06:19He'll save us.
01:06:20Yes.
01:06:20The red.
01:06:32Oh, quick.
01:06:33We need help.
01:06:34We need.
01:06:35My moral fiber is lacking too.
01:06:41Oh, quick.
01:06:42We need help.
01:06:47We need help.
01:06:49My moral fiber is lacking too.
01:06:51It's over here.
01:06:55Brother Forsyke.
01:06:57So, electronic rang?
01:06:59Of course.
01:07:00I'll switch it off.
01:07:12Put that money back at once.
01:07:13No one's welcome.
01:07:13Could I ask for this?
01:07:15ahead.
01:07:40Oh.
01:07:41Brother Forstack needs help. Brother Bassett needs help.
01:07:45I need help.
01:07:47Come quickly and bring senior brother with you.
01:07:50All well, Stanley?
01:07:52All well, Fred, yes.
01:07:53We thought we heard the chairman's private lift.
01:07:56Did you now? Well, if you had kept your ears well open,
01:07:59you might have heard the chairman's private flush as well.
01:08:02You didn't.
01:08:03I did. Why wouldn't I? It's not Christmas Eve.
01:08:09This is absolutely outrageous.
01:08:11I'm terribly sorry, senior brother. It's entirely my fault.
01:08:16Thank heavens you're here.
01:08:21Get, get.
01:08:25Get, get.
01:08:33So this is the result of all your training?
01:08:36Disgraceful.
01:08:37Absolutely disgraceful.
01:08:40Et tu, Brute?
01:08:43Whatever made you do it?
01:08:45There's over a quarter of a million in there.
01:08:47In used notes.
01:08:48Tax-free.
01:08:49Undraceable.
01:08:51And it's Christmas Eve.
01:08:53We could have 48 hours start.
01:09:04To think that I should ever hear my most honoured guardian angels suggest that...
01:09:11How much did you say that was in there?
01:09:13257,322 pounds, six shillings and ninepence.
01:09:16Brother.
01:09:18That's roughly 50,000 pounds each.
01:09:21Hmm.
01:09:23His brother Bethitz is.
01:09:24Tax-free.
01:09:26No, I can never justify such a betrayal of Mrs. Mandible's principles.
01:09:31Never.
01:09:32If we were married, Lawrence, I'd give you my share.
01:09:37Shut up.
01:09:39There's absolutely nothing to lose, senior brother.
01:09:41No danger.
01:09:42It's the perfect crime.
01:09:44There's no such thing as a perfect crime as you should all well know.
01:09:50How do we get it out of here?
01:09:53Brother Forsnag has worked it out.
01:09:55Rather a good idea, actually.
01:09:57Yes.
01:09:58I thought what we could do is this.
01:10:00Good night, Bill.
01:10:01Good night.
01:10:02Good night.
01:10:02Oh, it was a lovely party.
01:10:04Lovely party.
01:10:05Thank you very, very much indeed.
01:10:07And my very best respects to your wife.
01:10:10That's your wife, sir.
01:10:10Thank you very much.
01:10:11Thank you so much.
01:10:14Oh, what a lovely evening.
01:10:16Lovely evening.
01:10:17Ah, good old Santa.
01:10:19A smashy Christmas, dear.
01:10:23Hey.
01:10:45I need another drink.
01:10:56Well, I think we might say that everything went like clockwork, eh?
01:11:00Now, I propose to drive direct to Vanderville Hall, where we can deposit the cash and dispose of these Santa
01:11:06Claus outfits.
01:11:07Yes, indeed.
01:11:08A ludicrous disguise, I must say.
01:11:10Could you drop me off at my place, sir?
01:11:12I'm meeting my fiancé there.
01:11:13Oh, certainly, Brother Forsnag, a pleasure.
01:11:15Now, look, look.
01:11:17Babette must never know about this.
01:11:18Oh, my dear fellow, no, I must know.
01:11:20This is a lapse best forgotten, if I may say so.
01:11:24Agreed?
01:11:24Yes.
01:11:25Well, how will I explain away all my money?
01:11:28Well, why not put it in the bank, and then some future date tell her you want it on the
01:11:31pool?
01:11:32I don't know whether she believed that.
01:11:35Don't look now.
01:11:37We're being followed.
01:11:38Good heavens, the police.
01:11:40Let's pretend we're foreigners.
01:11:45I'll shake them off at the next corner.
01:11:58Can't you go any faster?
01:12:00Don't lose your head.
01:12:08Put your beard on straight.
01:12:33Ah, what's the hurry, Santa?
01:12:35Were we going too fast?
01:12:36You were?
01:12:37Oh, dear.
01:12:38Well, I tell you what, we're on our way to the old soldier's home, you know.
01:12:41Just to distribute a few comforts, a muffler or two, or a twist of backy.
01:12:45Yes, grand lads, the Chelsea pensioners.
01:12:48Yes.
01:12:49Ravelli's been sounded late tonight, so the dear old boys can stay up and give Santa a cheer.
01:12:54Ravelli?
01:12:55Oh, no, no, no.
01:12:56I do beg your pardon.
01:12:57I mean the last post, or lights out, or whatever they call the damn thing, you know, don't you?
01:13:00Yes, of course.
01:13:02Well, very decent of you to remember us, sir.
01:13:05You drive on just as fast as you like.
01:13:07Oh, thank you very much.
01:13:08We'll escort you.
01:13:09That's very kind of you.
01:13:09Oh, no, no, I assure you that's not necessary.
01:13:11Thank you very much, officer.
01:13:13Well, good luck to you.
01:13:14It's a wonderful job you're doing tonight.
01:13:15Yes, we think so.
01:13:17Happy Christmas.
01:13:25You know what, Charlie?
01:13:27If they were all like that, you and me would be out of a job.
01:13:35Thank you very much, senior brother.
01:13:36It's a pleasure.
01:13:37Merry Christmas.
01:13:38See you after the festivities, then.
01:13:39No fear.
01:13:40I shall be on my honeymoon.
01:13:42Bye.
01:13:43Bye.
01:13:44Happy Christmas.
01:13:49Put that back at once.
01:13:51It's quite all right, senior brother.
01:13:52I was only taking my whack.
01:13:54Whack, did you say?
01:13:55You'll do nothing of the sort.
01:13:56I can't share it out here.
01:13:57It's not even being counted yet.
01:13:58Do as senior brother says.
01:13:59Put it back at once.
01:14:01How do I know if I can trust you?
01:14:03Don't you?
01:14:04Don't you?
01:14:07You injured.
01:14:08Now see what you've done.
01:14:10Quick.
01:14:11Give it.
01:14:17Dandy, how could you?
01:14:19Well, I...
01:14:20It wasn't his fault.
01:14:21He couldn't resist the temptation.
01:14:23None of us could.
01:14:24That's quite right, madam.
01:14:25It was an irresistible compulsion.
01:14:26If not worse, but nothing of the kind will ever occur again, I assure you.
01:14:29At least of all, we can never be found out.
01:14:33Now, give me that sack for us.
01:14:35We'll look after your whack for you.
01:14:37You do nothing of the sort.
01:14:40Where did you get this money from, Dandy?
01:14:42Well, I...
01:14:43If you lie to me, I'll...
01:14:45I'll kill you.
01:14:46I...
01:14:47I won it.
01:14:47Last week.
01:14:48On the pools.
01:14:49You mean you stole it.
01:14:50From Russell Rods.
01:14:51This evening.
01:14:54Take it back.
01:14:54Every penny of it.
01:14:56We'll do nothing of the sort, young lady.
01:14:57There's a quarter of a million here.
01:14:58You don't know what you're talking about.
01:14:59Enough for us all to get married.
01:15:01I'm warning you, Dandy.
01:15:02Take it back.
01:15:03Oh, now, now, now.
01:15:05Let's not be hasty.
01:15:07After all, we don't get a chance like this every night.
01:15:09If you don't do as I say, I'm going to call the police.
01:15:15Darling, you wouldn't do a thing like that.
01:15:17We're getting married tomorrow.
01:15:18We were.
01:15:19She wouldn't really do it.
01:15:20You know, she doesn't understand.
01:15:22Now, why?
01:15:23Don't we talk the whole thing over at Mandeville High.
01:15:25I'm not interested in you.
01:15:26Only in Dandy.
01:15:29Dandy, I'll give you exactly three seconds to do something.
01:15:31Darling, it isn't only me.
01:15:32I know that.
01:15:34The whole lot of you must take the money back.
01:15:37I'm going to count.
01:15:39One.
01:15:41Two.
01:15:42She wouldn't really do it, you know.
01:15:46Three.
01:15:47Don't worry.
01:15:48It's all right.
01:15:52What the hell is all this noise about?
01:15:54I thought there was someone being paralyzed.
01:15:55How dare you break it off?
01:15:56Merry Christmas.
01:15:57Nothing to worry about.
01:15:59Put your beard on, you fool.
01:16:01Merry Christmas, madam.
01:16:02It's my daughter.
01:16:03I think she's been celebrating a little bit wisely.
01:16:07Come along, my dear.
01:16:08Ow!
01:16:08Oh!
01:16:09If you don't go home, I'm sending for the police.
01:16:11I'm still waiting for an answer.
01:16:13Suppose we put half back.
01:16:15No.
01:16:16Every penny.
01:16:17Police!
01:16:18Police!
01:16:18Police!
01:16:19By me.
01:16:22Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel.
01:16:29Do you want me to yell again?
01:16:30No, no, no, please, miss.
01:16:30It'll be all right.
01:16:31I promise you.
01:16:31You better get going, all of you.
01:16:34As for you, Dandy, I want you back here in exactly one hour.
01:16:38If you're not, I'm going straight to Scotland Yard.
01:16:40Oh!
01:16:48Anything wrong, miss?
01:16:50Not at all.
01:16:51Everything's fine.
01:16:53Just fine.
01:16:55What are we going to do?
01:16:57Why don't we split the money up and make a run for it?
01:16:59Really, Brother Bassett, you know Scotland Yard has a complete dossier on each of us.
01:17:03With our records, we haven't got a chance.
01:17:06Do hurry, senior brother.
01:17:07We've only 59 minutes left.
01:17:09Do you really think she'd split on us?
01:17:11Ha!
01:17:12No doubt about it.
01:17:12A woman in love's never to be denied.
01:17:15Oh, Laurel.
01:17:16Heavens, I didn't mean you.
01:17:20I'm sorry we didn't have time for a longer... a chance.
01:17:33No!
01:17:42Never again!
01:17:44Never again.
01:17:45Never again...
01:17:46Never again!
01:18:09Ah!
01:18:10On foot!
01:18:10Get in!
01:18:11Quick!
01:18:12Harry, guard and furniture.
01:18:14Stan, toys and radio.
01:18:16Fred, ladies, hardware, six stockings, and soft furnishing.
01:18:19Sid, hardware, and Georgia, stationery and groceries.
01:18:23What are you going to do, Bert?
01:18:25As senior night watchman, I'm going to take the most dangerous assignment of all.
01:18:28What?
01:18:29Bargain basement.
01:18:30Oh, Bert.
01:18:31Oh, Bert.
01:18:32Right, lads.
01:18:35Come along now.
01:18:36Everything must be left as we found it.
01:18:38Prunella, Widow, you unpack those sacks and put the money back in the safe.
01:18:42You other two take these kind of fun things back to the toy department.
01:18:44Right.
01:18:45Look out for the night watchman.
01:18:46There are at least six of them.
01:18:47What?
01:18:47You never mentioned them before.
01:18:49It wasn't necessary before.
01:18:50Good heavens.
01:18:50Now be careful.
01:18:51And quick.
01:18:52Right.
01:18:53Is everything going to be all right, Lawrence?
01:18:54It better be, otherwise it's life for all of us.
01:18:58Oh, don't bother about that, silly cow.
01:19:00Get on with the money.
01:19:21Did you switch off the ray?
01:19:23Of course.
01:19:27Just like old times, isn't it, Strangler?
01:19:56Good,IN The building on Monday, Mr.
01:19:56Look.
01:19:56Oh, don't worry.
01:20:00That's a great way.
01:20:00That's what the flash is going to destroy.
01:20:15It's a criminal to have to do this.
01:20:31Who?
01:20:38It's no use.
01:20:40I'll stand and have to lay over that beer.
01:20:54Feeling much better now.
01:20:56Sorry I flaked out.
01:20:57Cut the cackle and clean the telephones.
01:21:02Hurry, senior brother. The place is lousy with watchwords.
01:21:04Yes, come on.
01:21:05It's all right. The job's finished.
01:21:06Come on, you.
01:21:08Don't forget to switch on the rain.
01:21:10You underestimate me, senior brother.
01:21:12I never forget anything.
01:21:33What's going on?
01:21:36Help!
01:21:54Our congratulations to you both.
01:21:57We're proud of you.
01:21:58Especially you, sister Babette.
01:22:00But for you, I don't know where we'd be.
01:22:02I do!
01:22:05We'll never be able to thank you enough for keeping us honest, sister.
01:22:09As a small token of our gratitude, we'd all like you to join our organization as a fully fledged guardian
01:22:15angel.
01:22:16I say, even I not up for that yet.
01:22:19You'll be responsible for our very latest graduate.
01:22:22Here he is, Brother Woods.
01:22:27Good luck.
01:22:33Namaste.
01:22:35I'm just off to do some recruiting at the East India docks.
01:22:43And don't stay up too late.
01:23:12Hello.
01:23:14Who?
01:23:15Yeah.
01:23:16Well, hold on a minute, will you?
01:23:18It's for you, darling.
01:23:19Me?
01:23:20Yeah.
01:23:21Hello?
01:23:23Who?
01:23:26Yes, of course.
01:23:29What's the matter, darling?
01:23:30Is something wrong?
01:23:32Stay where you are.
01:23:33I'll be back as soon as I can.
01:23:34It's Brother Woods.
01:23:35My first call.
01:23:37A triple red emergency.
01:23:48Hallelujah.
01:23:50I can't resist temptation now, dear.
01:23:54So give me all your charms.
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