- 16 hours ago
Make Some Noise
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TVTranscript
00:00Tonight, missing the front half
00:01of his two-person horse costume,
00:03it's Jacob Wysocki.
00:09Having stumbled into a parade route, it's Kimmy of a pornia.
00:12Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
00:14Oh, my god.
00:16Oh, these things need to slow down.
00:19And having just walked on an incline treadmill for an hour,
00:22and now regular walking feels nuts, it's Jeremy Culhane.
00:28You got it, dude.
00:29Hey, guys. You good?
00:30Oh, yeah, I'm good. I'm normal.
00:32They're all here to...
00:34Make some noise!
00:48Welcome to Make Some Noise!
00:50The game's so good, we spun it off unchanged.
00:52I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:53Here's how the show works.
00:54I have here a series of improvisational prompts.
00:57Our players have never seen before.
01:01Isn't that right, players?
01:02We haven't seen it?
01:03Yes, no, we haven't.
01:04Yes, no, yes, we haven't seen the prompts.
01:06I have not seen it.
01:07I have not seen it yet.
01:09I don't know. What are you talking about?
01:11They will, to the best of their ability, fulfill those prompts.
01:13I will award them corresponding points,
01:14and the winner will go home with a coveted golden ear,
01:17which I'm proud to say no longer includes predatory microtransactions.
01:20Players, are you ready to rumble?
01:24No!
01:25In that case, it's time for a little warm-up minigame.
01:28This is a minigame that we like to call Back to Basics.
01:31Now, I've gotten some feedback that people miss the old, simple, competitive version of Make Some Noise.
01:39This game is simple.
01:40I will give you a sound effect.
01:42You pitch back to me your best version of that sound effect.
01:45I freaking knew it.
01:46I said we're going to have to do this because I did it so bad last time.
01:49I said, we're going to have to do this because when you come back, Sam remembers the thing you did
01:54kind of the worst,
01:55and he goes, do it again.
01:57He says, do it again.
01:58He says, do it again.
02:00No, he's okay.
02:00All right, fine, Sam.
02:02And we already did this soothing before.
02:04Yeah.
02:04We were there, we soothed, and now we're back.
02:06He wouldn't do that.
02:07He said he wouldn't, and I told you he would, and here we are.
02:09I loved your performance in this last time, Kimmy.
02:11Totally.
02:13Jacob!
02:16That might have to stick, dude.
02:18A zipper.
02:21That was pretty darn good.
02:23Kimmy.
02:26Kimmy.
02:27Yeah, take that, Sam.
02:27That was very solid.
02:30Jeremy.
02:33That's tough.
02:36What is happening?
02:39Maximalist.
02:39That one is going to go to you somehow, Jeremy.
02:41Yes!
02:42Wow.
02:42Jacob.
02:45A European siren.
02:51We do it better over here.
02:55No Red 40.
02:59Kimmy.
03:00Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee, wee.
03:08Wee, wee, wee.
03:09That's really good.
03:11Jeremy.
03:12Wee, wee, wee.
03:13In it.
03:14Oh.
03:15Wee, wee, wee.
03:15In it.
03:16Stick the landing.
03:17You got this, dude.
03:18Stick the landing.
03:19I'm a Beatles.
03:21Stop there.
03:21Wee, wee, wee.
03:22Hey, Joan, let's record it now.
03:24Oh, just more Beatles.
03:25Whoa.
03:25We're going deep on the Beatles.
03:35Wee, wee.
03:37Meow.
03:40Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
03:43Twist it.
03:43Meow, meow.
03:45Turn it.
03:45Meow, meow, meow.
03:46Turn me inside out.
03:47Meow, meow.
03:51That's the collar.
03:53You know I need it.
03:56Wow.
03:56Here we go.
03:57Meow, meow, meow.
04:04Meow.
04:14Because it hurts when they do it.
04:18Oh.
04:20Damn.
04:21Love the ending there.
04:22Very good.
04:22That was really good.
04:23Thanks.
04:24Jeremy.
04:25Oh, he's gone.
04:26Just a further step back.
04:29Take it further back.
04:30Enter the arcade.
04:31Actually, get out of a car.
04:33How did you get there?
04:34What was happening in the car on the way, though?
04:37Just give me a minute.
04:38I'll be right back.
04:39Oh, you're gonna fight.
04:39I swear.
04:43Sorry, I didn't mean to slam.
04:48Oh, my God.
04:49Is that a horny cat?
04:52Forgot it.
04:53He forgot it.
04:54I guess I've got one.
04:5725 cents to spare.
04:59Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
05:05Yeah, dude!
05:07That was diabolical.
05:09You were the one that said start over there!
05:11Did you forget what a quarter was called?
05:13What?
05:1425 cents?
05:15I did.
05:16I forgot what a quarter was called.
05:18I think that one's gonna go to Kimmy.
05:21Pity!
05:22That's a pity vote!
05:23No, it's not.
05:23It's not, Kimmy.
05:24If you go back and listen to that footage,
05:25I think you'll agree with that.
05:26And I'm never watching this.
05:28Ha-ha!
05:29Ha-ha-ha!
05:30Ha-ha-ha!
05:31Ha-ha-ha!
05:32Which brings us to round one.
05:35Jacob.
05:36Ha-ha-ha!
05:37Your dad follows up about that article he sent you.
05:41Hey, Jake, you read about those dire wolves that I sent you?
05:46Ha-ha-ha!
05:46I don't understand what the point is.
05:47Like, can't you just let something be gone?
05:50Did you read it?
05:50I need you to check it out.
05:51Actually, if you could just go ahead and pull it up on your phone right now.
05:54It's really interesting, right?
05:55Because if you change the DNA, are you changing the essential structure of what it is?
05:59Could it even be a dire wolf?
06:01Really?
06:01Ha-ha-ha!
06:02What do you think?
06:03You're not paying attention?
06:04Ha-ha-ha!
06:04You're gonna go outside and roll a joint?
06:05Ha-ha-ha!
06:06Did you read that other article I sent you?
06:07It was just a cutout from Guitar World Magazine, 1998.
06:11It was about Stevie Ray Vaughan.
06:13Did you read that?
06:14Jake, where are you going?
06:15Where have you gone?
06:16Jake, are you even here?
06:17Jake, hello?
06:19Jake, where are you?
06:20Where are you, son?
06:21He's gone.
06:23I want to show you something.
06:24This is my mom sending me the dire wolf article.
06:29It's the talk of the town!
06:31Parents cannot get over the dire wolf.
06:33How are they doing this?
06:34You have run out of your free monthly points, I'm afraid, Jake.
06:36You're gonna have to subscribe.
06:39Hear me out!
06:40Yep.
06:40A lemonade stand kid explains their new business model.
06:46Lemonade for sale?
06:47Oh, yes!
06:48Come on down!
06:48Please, grab a cup of lemonade.
06:50Now, listen, I have something that might interest you.
06:53If you're here for a cup of lemonade, what would you say if you took this cup over to your
06:58friends
06:58and I gave you a couple more cups for them, and then they sold some cups of lemonade as well?
07:04You perhaps have a lemonade party.
07:06You invite a bunch of horny moms over, and you say, I've got a lot of lemonade.
07:11Would you like some?
07:12And then once they buy one, you give them some more.
07:14Do you understand what I'm describing?
07:16It's shaped like a triangle, and it's cheap.
07:19You will be as rich as me.
07:21How much did I make this week?
07:22Ten dollars.
07:27A be-your-own-boss amount of points.
07:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:30For you, Kimia.
07:32Jeremy!
07:33Uh-huh.
07:34Congratulations.
07:35On what?
07:35It looks like we have a gift prompt for you.
07:38Who could this be from?
07:40It's Kurt!
07:40Hi, Jeremy.
07:41It's Kurt Maloney.
07:42Here's my gift prompt to you.
07:43Do your best impression of Kimia at one of her Christmas markets, trying her hardest not
07:48to buy anything, um, you know, because she has a small addiction.
07:53Jeremy, you're prompting.
07:54Whoa, a gift and a dig.
07:56Yeah.
07:57Let's see this.
07:58Okay.
07:59Kimia at one of her Christmas markets, trying her hardest not to buy anything, um, you know,
08:05because she has a small addiction.
08:07Right.
08:07A deep.
08:08Oh.
08:10Hayley, I'll be right back.
08:12No, dude.
08:15Oh.
08:16Hi.
08:17Hey, uh.
08:18Whoa, these are so cute.
08:19Are they, like, they're little mice wearing hats?
08:21No, I, I, I shouldn't.
08:23Oh, my God.
08:23What is that?
08:25Is that a pillow with Santa on it?
08:27Oh, my gosh.
08:28That's, no, I shouldn't.
08:29I shouldn't.
08:29Hayley, I'll be right back.
08:32Thanks, thanks.
08:33Just, is that Belgian chocolate?
08:36It's two for one right now.
08:38So, technically, I'm getting one free.
08:40It's two for one.
08:41So, technically, I'm getting one free, right?
08:44Yeah.
08:44I'll buy your whole market.
08:45I'm going to buy everything in your market.
08:47My wife, Hayley, will love this.
08:51Wow.
08:52The impression rested on just my wife's name.
08:55I didn't do much more than that.
08:59Wow.
09:00Now, I mean, I loved it, Jeremy, but Kimmy, I think that number of points is up to you.
09:04Jeremy, you deserve that.
09:05You get 25 points.
09:0625 points.
09:07Which is the same day as Christmas.
09:09Crazy.
09:09Generous and on theme.
09:11Which brings us back to Jacob.
09:15A doomsday prepper is stocked up on all the wrong things.
09:20Sup, YouTube.
09:21I just want to show you all my doomsday shed.
09:24First thing I've got is my bed.
09:26It is a water bed.
09:27It's completely good for my back.
09:29And I know what you're thinking.
09:31Whoa, those are some pretty cool pillows.
09:33Those are all my waifus.
09:34I am a bit of a weebo.
09:36And yes, they have large breasts and not enough clothes on.
09:39Moving down the hall, you can see that it looks exactly like a laser tag spot from the early 90s.
09:45You're going to want to put on this vest.
09:46It's good for an adult, but way too big for a kid.
09:50Now you're in my sound room where everything just sounds a little bit different.
09:57There is cones that make sound just reverberate in a way that you're not used to.
10:02And no, there's no practical application of this.
10:07Now you're probably wondering what the food situation is, huh?
10:11We're in 100% an identical replication of the first McDonald's.
10:16I haven't been able to talk to McDonald's corporate and get any food here,
10:20but I'm trying my best with frozen patties from Sam's Club and old potato rolls that Shake Shack doesn't want
10:26anymore.
10:26Are you interested in the guns?
10:28I have none.
10:31Wow.
10:31That was freaking awesome.
10:33Ten points with a shelf life of 40 years for you, Jacob.
10:36Everybody tag me and all your hot pillow ladies that you sleep next to.
10:38You know what? Tag me too.
10:39I'm interested.
10:40Don't you dare tag me.
10:41Hit me up.
10:42Yeah.
10:42An actual boobie inspector is tired of all your jokes.
10:49Yeah.
10:50I'm a boobie inspector.
10:51I know you think it means that I look at boobies and I go,
10:55oh, that's a boobie.
10:57Or, oh, that's not.
10:59But that's not my job, okay?
11:01I have a lot of levels of government clearance.
11:03I actually work in the FBI.
11:05Yeah, it's a real job.
11:07A boobie inspector?
11:08Why boobie?
11:10I can't tell you that, actually.
11:12I don't have those levels of clearance.
11:14But I do.
11:15My sister said that her kid needed someone to come in for career day.
11:21And I was like, me?
11:22A boobie inspector go in front of a bunch of sixth graders?
11:26They're going to giggle at me.
11:28Stop giggling.
11:29That's what I want to be when I grow up.
11:31What do you think it is, little kid?
11:32I don't know, you get to see a bunch of boobies.
11:34And that's not it!
11:35What?
11:35What is it?
11:36I told you, you'd have to get clear.
11:39I'm so curious.
11:41That's a hell of an improv hack.
11:44That was brilliant.
11:45I would tell you, but I can't.
11:47I can't.
11:47I'd have to kill you.
11:48Eight, zero, zero, eight, five points for you.
11:51That's right.
11:52That's a dugout.
11:52That's right.
11:53The last prompt of round one, Jeremy.
11:56Uh-huh.
11:57A cereal mascot who kind of likes being deprived of the cereal.
12:01Oh, fuck.
12:03This is fucked up.
12:05Oh, no.
12:06Where are all my fruity crisps?
12:10Oh, looks like they stole it again.
12:14Looks like I'll have to go after them to get it back.
12:17Oh, no.
12:19Oh, maybe when I get there, they'll time me up and tell everybody these fruity crisps aren't for me.
12:27Martin Fruity.
12:28Yeah.
12:30Mr. Fruity, Mr. Fruity, we found your crisps.
12:32We got them.
12:33Oh, no.
12:34What are you going to make me do to get them back?
12:37We're just kind of going to give them to you.
12:39What do you want to see?
12:40Oh, no.
12:41They probably want to see me dance like this.
12:46Oh, no.
12:48Please give them back.
12:50We're just going to leave them here.
12:52We're just going to leave them.
12:53Okay.
12:54No, don't give it back to me.
12:56Don't give it back to me.
12:57What happened?
13:01Damn.
13:02Thank you for the assist, you two.
13:04I've never wanted to be a guy with him more.
13:07Did you see his foot while he was doing that?
13:09No, what was his foot doing?
13:09My foot's going crazy recently.
13:11Was it doing a little stanky actually?
13:12Just kind of like everything else was stale.
13:14I don't know what this should say,
13:16but like the moment we wrote that prompt,
13:18we went, Jeremy.
13:19There's no doubt in our minds.
13:21Five points, no milk.
13:22Oh, no.
13:26Which brings us to our second minigame.
13:29Whoa.
13:30This is a little minigame that we like to call
13:32Hollywood Ho.
13:34How it works as players.
13:36I'm going to ask you for the names of imaginary movie titles
13:38beginning with particular letters of the alphabet.
13:40If I like the sound of that movie,
13:42I'll then ask you for its log line.
13:45If I like the log line,
13:47I'll then say, let's see it.
13:49At which point I will ask you to enact a scene
13:52from that movie.
13:53Does that make sense?
13:54No.
13:54Not sure.
13:55No.
13:56Allow me to conduct you.
13:59And.
14:00Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood Ho.
14:02H.
14:03Herbert's Juice.
14:05Hunker down.
14:06The storm's gotten worse.
14:08Let's see it.
14:13Everybody in the Tri-County seems to be frozen to death.
14:16I don't know if there's any other survivors.
14:18That's crazy.
14:19The only thruple in all of town
14:21and we're the only ones living.
14:23They said that love doesn't protect,
14:25but I really think it does.
14:26I think it does.
14:28Wait, look.
14:29It seems to get even worse out there.
14:31There's four twisters.
14:32No thanks.
14:33No thanks.
14:33The Pauly triad is full.
14:37Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood.
14:39This is evident.
14:43Tiniest, little boy.
14:45Oh no, he's so sad.
14:48Let's see it.
14:49Let's see it.
14:49Honey, if you want to adopt him, we can.
14:52I never get adopted.
14:53I'm so tiny.
14:54Listen.
14:55I'm the size of a 25 cent piece.
14:59No one's ever going to adopt him.
15:01If you promise to take responsibility for him,
15:03I'll let him be my son.
15:05What you just said made me feel like I was your daughter
15:08and you were taking me to adopt a dog.
15:10Okay, this is going south.
15:10No, I did not mean it to seem like that.
15:12We're a partnership.
15:14It's your responsibility.
15:14You take care of the tiny guy.
15:16If we got a normal kid, I would help you out.
15:18Normal?
15:19I mean, if you...
15:19He's normal.
15:20Look at him.
15:21Look at me bench two peas.
15:23Wow, he seems like a strong boy.
15:25Hey, come here, little man.
15:26Hey, come here, little man.
15:30See, you love him.
15:32I could get used to this.
15:33You learned to love him.
15:34Achoo!
15:35No!
15:37No!
15:37No!
15:38My son!
15:40My son!
15:43Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood!
15:46V.
15:47Valerie's Garden.
15:49Violent Crimes.
15:53I like you waving your hands in front of me.
15:55Vesuvius II.
15:56The volcano is back and it's more mad.
15:59Let's see it!
16:01You have a lot of nerve coming back here.
16:03You think so?
16:05Yeah, you left me on read.
16:06I asked you to dinner.
16:07Wait, you guys were seeing each other?
16:09It wasn't like that.
16:11You told me you've never hooked up with a volcano.
16:13You swore that.
16:14Who's this, Giantra?
16:15We're not together anymore.
16:17Who is this, Giantra?
16:18We are not together anymore, okay?
16:20Ever heard of me?
16:21I'm Pompeii.
16:22I get it.
16:23You want somebody that's not so reactive.
16:25Somebody that's a little more dormant.
16:26Somebody that's already popped their cap!
16:28That's what I thought I wanted.
16:30But he's so boring.
16:31Lame, right?
16:32I know.
16:32He doesn't do anything.
16:33He doesn't even have any magma left.
16:35Probably has to take...
16:36Say it.
16:37You can say it.
16:38Probably has to take a little volcano Viagra.
16:41I'm just realizing, is Vesuvius on Pompeii?
16:44Well, Vesuvius erupted and destroyed Pompeii.
16:47You're a city.
16:48You don't even know who you are, man!
16:49Oh, yeah?
16:50I'm a fucking city!
16:54Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, ho!
16:56Z!
16:57Ziffer.
16:58Xantar Raceway.
17:01Zuri's back.
17:02Xantar Raceway 2.
17:04Oh!
17:04The engines are advanced now.
17:08Last year!
17:08Let's see it!
17:11Hey, nice ride.
17:13Gotta go.
17:15Whoa!
17:16He shot off a thousand miles an hour!
17:19And you're back.
17:20I could use a kid like you on my...
17:22Oh!
17:22I could use a kid like you.
17:25I could use a kid like you on my team.
17:27Yeah?
17:27I'm trying to put a race together.
17:28Well, I'm a kid looking for a team,
17:30because I ain't got nobody else.
17:31Huh.
17:31Huh.
17:32Huh.
17:32Yeah.
17:33Yeah?
17:33All right.
17:34Okay.
17:34Good.
17:36Come, join the team.
17:37Sounds good.
17:38Hey.
17:38Hey, what's up?
17:40In this future world, you know how we say hey.
17:44And hey?
17:46This is Trixie.
17:47Did you put the team together or what?
17:49We're just missing our ace in the hole,
17:51the wild card.
17:52There he is.
17:52You know how we say hey here, don't you?
17:55Come on.
17:55You know how we say hey.
17:57I don't know.
17:59Okay.
18:00All right.
18:01All right.
18:01You know how we say hey.
18:02Oh, boy.
18:03Okay.
18:04You know how we say hey.
18:05And that's a minigame.
18:11And that's just the thing about making some noise.
18:13You never know when you're going to end up kissing all three of your contestants.
18:15I cannot wait for the fan cams.
18:16I'm calling HR.
18:19My boss made me kiss.
18:21Loved it.
18:22Loved it.
18:26That brings us to round two,
18:29where our players must now test their talents in teams of two.
18:33Two.
18:34Jacob.
18:36And Kimmy.
18:37Yep.
18:38A scarecrow is really having an off day with this crow.
18:42Oh, hey.
18:42You doing all right, man?
18:44Yeah, I'm all right, man.
18:44You don't really look like yourself.
18:46Whoa, what do you mean?
18:47Usually I'm like flying over here and I go,
18:48Hey, get away, man.
18:49Get away.
18:50Right.
18:50Get away, man.
18:51Get away.
18:51Today I just was like, I've got to land here.
18:53This guy seems like he needs to chat.
18:54Hey, man.
18:55You all right, buddy?
18:56Hey.
18:57I don't really want anybody seeing us.
18:58Are you good?
18:59Could you just kind of look?
19:00Honestly?
19:01Yeah.
19:01I kind of woke up on the wrong side of the patch today.
19:04Dude, I could tell.
19:04We could tell from up there.
19:05Are everybody's talking about it?
19:06Yeah, dude.
19:07Everybody was like,
19:07come pick the shit out of all the pumpkins.
19:09It's not scary today.
19:10Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:11Yeah.
19:12I made a terrible investment.
19:13No way.
19:15Tell me.
19:15I got into some weird lemonade scheme
19:17and now I have all this lemonade.
19:18No way.
19:19How am I supposed to off all this lemonade?
19:20I physically can't move.
19:21Dang, dude.
19:22Hey, could you just like pretend to be scared for a second?
19:25Just maybe I could get like my mojo back.
19:26Okay, you got to know I'm a really bad actor,
19:28but I'll try.
19:29Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:30Get out of here.
19:32Oh, I'm horrified.
19:33Maybe dial it back a little bit.
19:34Oh, wow.
19:36The scariest guy I've ever seen.
19:38Not sad at all.
19:40Okay, stop.
19:40Scary.
19:42Sorry, buddy.
19:42Was that bad?
19:43Not what you wanted?
19:44Hey, I'm going to need to borrow cash.
19:50A three-point harvest to you all.
19:53Which brings us to Kimia.
19:55Yes.
19:55And Jeremy.
19:56Uh-huh.
19:57Seven minutes in hell.
20:00Yeah, I guess this is it.
20:01I guess we're stuck in this closet.
20:02Yeah.
20:02Yeah.
20:03I guess we could just lie and say that you twisted my nipples until they came off,
20:07for, I guess you can do it if you want.
20:10Just like I don't need to.
20:12Okay.
20:14I can just do it.
20:15Okay.
20:16Until they come off?
20:17Until they come off and then I stab you over and over and over and over.
20:20One thing at a time.
20:21Okay.
20:22Okay.
20:26I can't believe how many rotations you're getting.
20:28I actually might have to leave this one alone and focus on just this one for it to come off.
20:32Okay, I know.
20:35Holy shit.
20:36It's a big one.
20:36I know.
20:37Freaky, dude.
20:37Can I keep this?
20:38Do you want to be my girlfriend?
20:40One thing at a time.
20:41Is that okay?
20:48I can't believe we're actually doing it.
20:50I thought we were going to both chicken out.
20:52I thought you weren't going to twist my nipples until they came off.
20:54Haven't you heard the rumors about me around school?
20:57You're a fucking freak.
21:01Is that what she wanted, Sam?
21:02That works for me.
21:04Gosh, if only there was some sex number-related amount of points.
21:06I could give you.
21:07But I can't imagine what that would possibly be.
21:10Jeremy.
21:11Uh-huh.
21:11And Jacob.
21:12Uh-huh.
21:13A TV show written for stoned people where exposition is repeated often and clearly.
21:21Hey, man.
21:22Sorry I'm late.
21:23I was at a job.
21:24Was that the job you were applying to that you were really excited about?
21:28Yeah.
21:29They didn't give me that job, and that's why I was late.
21:31Bro.
21:31Because I was at that job trying to get that job.
21:34Dang, Douglas.
21:35Dang.
21:36That sucks, Douglas.
21:37Richard.
21:37My roommate, Rich, who I sometimes call Richard.
21:40Sorry that I was late.
21:41I was trying to get this job.
21:43Wait, that was the job at the brewery that you were excited about?
21:46Yeah, the job at the brewery, but I didn't get the job, and that's why I was late, Rich.
21:50Or Richard.
21:51Do you want to just roll one up and smoke it?
21:53Dude, let's actually smack some footlong dabs.
21:56So, dude, things aren't going well with Natasha.
21:59Natasha, your girlfriend?
22:00My ex-girlfriend now.
22:01Oh, I keep forgetting that you guys broke up.
22:04Yeah, dude, we broke up like four days ago.
22:06It's all I can think about.
22:08It's all I can think about.
22:11It's all I can think about.
22:16It's all I can think about.
22:18Are you mad at me that I was late earlier because I had that job interview?
22:21I'm not mad at you at all, because wasn't that the job at the brewery that you were really excited
22:25about?
22:26Now that I know you're not mad at me for being late because I went to a job at the
22:29brewery,
22:30I'd love to listen to what happened to you.
22:32Thanks, Douglas.
22:33What happened, Richard?
22:34Gosh, me and Natasha just broke up three days ago.
22:37Oh, dude, I didn't realize that you guys had broken up with your girlfriend, Natasha.
22:41Yeah, dude, it's all I can think about.
22:42Hey, do you want to do a footlong dab?
22:44That's fucking dumb.
22:48420 points for the...
22:49Oh, hell yeah.
22:51Jacob.
22:52And Kimia.
22:53Yeah.
22:53Not a meet cute, but a meet frickin' sick.
23:06Whoa!
23:08Bathroom blow!
23:09Jump off the wall, 360, 190, X80!
23:12Whoa!
23:14Crazy!
23:16Hey, man.
23:16Man, you bumped into me and I did a trick I had never done in my dreams.
23:21Sick recovery, man. You should name that trick after your name. What's your name?
23:25Dango.
23:25Dango? My name's Crud.
23:28What's up, Crud?
23:29Get out of the middle of the street.
23:30Be nicer to your wife.
23:33That was pretty stellar stuff. I'm sorry that I almost hit you. I was just going so fast I became
23:38blind.
23:39I've never gone so fast I became blind.
23:41Yeah, would you want to go up the hill? There's a pretty sick little taco shack up there.
23:45Absolutely.
23:45You're single?
23:46Yeah.
23:46Me too.
23:47No way.
23:48What?
23:48What?
23:48I didn't say that.
23:49Did you?
23:50Yeah.
23:50We are single, right?
23:51Uh-huh.
23:51Because I like clarity.
23:52Yeah, I'm fully available.
23:54You guys, please get out of the middle of the street.
23:55Excuse me, dude.
23:56Excuse me, man.
23:56Can you please?
23:56Where are you headed?
23:57I'm going to an abandoned arcade.
24:01I liked them. I ship it.
24:03Yeah?
24:03Can't wait to rewatch Usain Tricks.
24:06There were numbers. Just numbers.
24:09Hang ten apiece for the both of you.
24:11Which brings us to Kimia.
24:13Yeah?
24:13And Jeremy.
24:14Uh-huh.
24:15The Chit Chat Before the Podcast Begins podcast.
24:19Could you just speak into your mic really quick?
24:21Test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, test, for breakfast I had eggs.
24:24I also ate eggs.
24:25Oh, really?
24:26That's kind of crazy.
24:26That's crazy.
24:27Yeah, I think we're basically ready to go.
24:30Basically what will happen is I'm just going to run you through a couple of different scenarios
24:34that might scare you, and we're just going to see how you would react and what you would
24:38do in those situations if you were scared, or how would you get out of them.
24:41It's pretty chill. Like, we've had tons of guests before.
24:45Lisa Gilroy is like a big person that comes by. There's so many great people.
24:49Yeah, I mean, you sent me one of the episodes as an example before.
24:52Yeah, yeah. Did you watch it?
24:53I listened.
24:54We also have a YouTube component now. It's like this whole push, but like, yeah, yeah.
24:57Yeah, yeah. I listened to it. It sounds like you never, like, got to it.
25:00Yeah. No, yeah, yeah.
25:02Yeah, the episode I listened to is just kind of like what we're doing right now.
25:04No, yeah, yeah.
25:05But you never got to the part where you scared Lisa a bunch?
25:07No, like, so, like, basically what's going to happen is, like, definitely in, like, a little bit
25:11we will get to the part where, like, I'm going to ask you a couple questions.
25:15My question is, are you going to release that, or are you just releasing this?
25:18So, people love, like, kind of, like, VIP content.
25:21So, like, what if the whole thing was VIP content, and you got the pre-episode, and we never...
25:25Cortado for Jeremy Culhane.
25:27And just to let you know, it is a 45-minute time limit for the tables.
25:30Totally. Understand. That's exactly the amount of time we need.
25:33If you're not going to air the scaring, I would like to not do it.
25:35I can just go after we do this.
25:37No, I'm going to do the scaring. We're going to get there.
25:38Yeah, and you're going to release it.
25:39What's your... I'm just getting some crazy, like, you have mom vibes.
25:42I have mom vibes?
25:44Like, you have a relationship with your mom that's abnormal.
25:46Like, what's that like?
25:48Can you speak into the mic?
25:49I don't want to get into that because I know you're going to air this part.
25:51Can we just...
25:51I promise you I'm not going to air this part.
25:53This is just the chit-chat before.
25:55Who do you hate in, like, the comedy stuff?
25:59Feel free to cut this out. 43 points to you.
26:02That's good.
26:02Which brings us back one final time to Jeremy.
26:06Uh-huh.
26:07And Jacob.
26:08Uh-huh.
26:08Getting closer and closer, buddy.
26:09I don't know what you're talking about. I kind of started it.
26:11Telling the caricature artist you know what they're fucking doing.
26:14Probably drawing, like, fat tits on me.
26:16Classic fat guy, fat tits kind of situation.
26:18Really cool. Really funny. Really original.
26:21Really, really original.
26:23I'm just a small Parisian, please. Let me finish.
26:27You're making my belly bigger than the Eiffel Tower?
26:29Is that what you're doing?
26:30No.
26:31Really sort of egregious erasing right there.
26:33No, it's not erasing.
26:35I've had these, all right? I've been around enough. I've had these.
26:37Why'd you get another one?
26:39Just maybe waiting for one guy to get it right.
26:42Okay, you're not going to get the thing that I'm going to do, though.
26:44Are you making my neck look like a croissant?
26:46No.
26:47Sorry, I'm just making a statement. He's got a bigger neck. It's probably, like, a piece of pastry or something.
26:51No, no, no, no, no.
26:52I see it. I see exactly what's happening.
26:54No, no, no.
26:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:55Trying to make sort of a subtle American hint, like, Americans are not as healthy as Europeans.
26:59No.
26:59Europeans.
27:00No.
27:01Just generally, you think, like, your culture's a little bit better, and that maybe you take better care of your
27:05people or whatever.
27:06That's sort of what you think.
27:11I know what that was.
27:12I know what that was. What was that?
27:14I don't know.
27:15What were they laughing at? Could you show me what they're laughing at?
27:16I don't know.
27:17Because I know what you're doing, but I don't know what they saw and how they saw me and then
27:19what you represented and how they saw,
27:20and I'm thinking about how you're seeing me and how they were seeing me.
27:22And that's a lot. That's a lot to balance.
27:24What was that?
27:25They're gone. They're fully gone.
27:26What was that? What was that?
27:27Show it to me. Show me what they laughed about.
27:30Oh, that's just five donuts stacked on the Eiffel Tower.
27:34This is a great show to make me seem like an asshole.
27:3855. Real original points.
27:41Real original.
27:42That brings us to our final minigame.
27:45This is a bit of a round-robin.
27:47How it works, players, is I'm going to ask you to deliver your responses to this into your respective single
27:52cameras.
27:53Your prompt is a nightmare blunt rotation.
27:57Oh, wow, a sativa strand.
27:59You know, I love sativa.
28:00It's actually really important.
28:01Shut up. Thank you.
28:02So, sativas are really important for the environment because when we're taking them in, we are reclaiming...
28:07Shut up. Stop talking. I'm talking.
28:09We're actually reclaiming our Spartan energy as men.
28:13You've got to come to my all-male dinner sometime.
28:16By the way, I'm super Christian.
28:20Oh, fun. Are we smoking?
28:21Sorry. I know you told me to leave you guys in the garage.
28:25But I'm cool. I promise.
28:28Look, I told you if you want to do drugs, let mom come.
28:30I swear I'm cool about it, okay?
28:33So, what is this?
28:34A spliff?
28:36Okay.
28:42I like raw milk.
28:45I just think it's really tasty.
28:49And I like beef tallow.
28:51I miss you, Cheryl.
28:53Didn't know you had that one in yet.
28:58Oh, no, those kids.
29:01People are stealing my cereal.
29:05Oh, no, don't take it from me.
29:10Can't believe that's the only guy who'll show me his boobies.
29:13That's not what I do!
29:16That's not what the job is!
29:21I'm not used to smoking. I'm more of a drinker.
29:25Timbalt, too, and all that.
29:27And, of course, I'm not the real Johnny Depp.
29:29I'm a guy who dresses up kind of like Johnny Depp
29:31and goes to Disneyland every day.
29:35You want it?
29:39Oh, I swear, I love smoking.
29:49Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
29:59oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
29:59Thanks for inviting me.
30:01Oh, you never get invited anywhere.
30:04My name's Kimia.
30:07Damn, dude.
30:11It's me, Jeremy Cole.
30:15It's me, Jeremy.
30:18I smoke all the time!
30:2734 infused pre-rolled points for you all.
30:33That brings us to round three,
30:36where our players will now hold hands
30:38and jump into the abyss together.
30:41Yay!
30:43Jacob.
30:43Uh-huh.
30:44Give me a.
30:44Yep.
30:45Jeremy.
30:45Uh-huh.
30:47A no-frills Scandinavian cheerleading team.
30:52Okay, guys, you ready to go?
30:53Yeah, if you're ready, I'm ready.
30:55I'm ready.
30:56Let's start whenever.
30:57Okay, um, five, six, seven, eight.
31:00Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
31:12Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
31:13I feel like we're giving too much to them.
31:16Maybe a bit distracting for the players?
31:18Yeah, very distracting.
31:18Okay, let's unfocus, right?
31:20Uh-huh.
31:20Let's turn it down.
31:21Tone it down?
31:22Okay.
31:24Uh-huh.
31:25Uh-huh.
31:26Uh-huh.
31:26Uh-huh.
31:28Do you guys ever feel like maybe we don't have actual freedom?
31:30Like, it's sort of like this idea that we could do whatever,
31:32but really there's more regulations here than in other countries?
31:34Like, people think we're a lot happier, but look at me.
31:36Do I look happier than most?
31:38Wow, those cheerleaders are hot and giving it a lot.
31:43Universal truths, brother.
31:45Enough points to get the job done, team three.
31:48Which brings us to the second to last prompt of our game.
31:53Jacob.
31:53Oh, uh, rrrr.
31:54Kimia.
31:55Jer, Jer.
31:56Oh, uh, rrrr.
31:57The bear, but it's a renaissance fair stand
32:00that only sells giant turkey legs.
32:03All right, you need 14 turkey legs.
32:05Stat, what are you guys doing standing around?
32:07Come on.
32:07Ryo, cousin, righ-o-way.
32:09I've made something that maybe I thought we could try today.
32:12What is it? I don't have time for this.
32:13You can see the line.
32:14I just thought maybe I could show you something,
32:17you know, ye olde something new.
32:20My God.
32:21It's the best mashed peas I've ever tasted.
32:24Why don't you like it? Why don't we do it?
32:26I'm not going to do it right now.
32:27We got 14 kids.
32:28Those fucking suck, man.
32:29Come on, cousin, come on.
32:31Oh, all right, cousin.
32:33Right-o, cousin.
32:35Listen, I have a dream for this place.
32:37It's going to be the biggest renaissance thing in the world.
32:40We're not going to just do turkey legs.
32:42We're going to do spotted dick.
32:43I'm trying my best, but my home life is so dense and complicated,
32:46it will probably take an entire episode to understand who I am.
32:51Well, right now, you're just my cousin,
32:53and you're fucking pissing me off, okay?
32:54Hey, fuck you. Turkey's ready.
32:56Oh, fuck you. Turkey's ready.
32:58Turkey's ready.
32:58If you wanted to do more, why didn't you like the thing I presented to you?
33:02Because I don't have the mental capacity to care for you right now,
33:04because my brother is dead.
33:08Turkey's done, cousin.
33:10You happy?
33:11Wait a second.
33:12Oh, my God.
33:14This turkey has $800,000.
33:18It's just the break they need.
33:21I can't wait to see where this goes.
33:22Two seasons and a strange third.
33:24Ten points to each of your respective vassals.
33:27Which brings us to the very last prompt of our game.
33:32Jacob.
33:32Uh-huh.
33:33Give me a.
33:33Yeah.
33:33Jeremy.
33:34Uh-huh.
33:35Mother Nature, Father Time, Uncle Hot Sauce.
33:38Well, he should be here soon, hopefully.
33:41He's always running late, and you know that's my thing.
33:44It's okay.
33:45Let's take a deep breath together.
33:51What's up, germs?
33:53You guys getting spicy with it?
33:55No.
33:55What are you talking about?
33:56I'm hot to try!
33:59Are you coming on a jetpack?
34:00Stole it from the military.
34:02Come on, I like to keep it hot.
34:04Okay, let's focus.
34:06Earth is having a really tough time.
34:08Yeah.
34:08What?
34:09And I've given them an extra bloom so that the people will feel a little bit better about what's going
34:13on.
34:13That's really generous.
34:14I've decided to extend a second to a little bit longer so they feel like they have a little bit
34:19more time on their hands.
34:21Gorgeous.
34:21I turned the Mississippi River into a hot sauce river.
34:26Sort of a Chipotle-based sensation.
34:29Smokey, with a little bit of heat, but the average person can enjoy it.
34:34Do you know how long it took me to build that river?
34:36How long?
34:38Oh, I know.
34:40I'm Father Time.
34:41For eons.
34:42Do you know how long it took me to make that river hot sauce?
34:45Me again?
34:47I think it took you all of 12 seconds.
34:49Yeah, it was pretty quick.
34:50We're supposed to be working together.
34:51Please.
34:52You're not supposed to take what I've got.
34:53We are the gods of this world.
34:55Yeah!
34:55All the fish are dying.
34:57They're dead.
34:57There's other rivers.
34:59Well, that's okay.
34:59We can get past that.
35:01Yes.
35:01All right?
35:01Good.
35:02That's fine.
35:02I've put a pause on some weather so that everyone can, you know, get their bearings.
35:06So no more natural disasters for at least a month.
35:09That'll be good.
35:09I've also made leap year more of an important day for them in their heads.
35:14I'm making it rain chili relleno.
35:17Again, what are you doing?
35:18That's a solid.
35:20That's a solid.
35:23They're pretty soft.
35:24500,000 Scovilles specifically for Uncle Hot Sauce.
35:28Yeah.
35:29Which brings us to the end of our game.
35:33Our winner tonight.
35:38Jacob Wysocki.
35:40Come on!
35:41You are the recipient of another coveted golden year.
35:46Wow.
35:47That does it for us here at Make Some Noise.
35:49Tune in next time for more of The Game Samer.
35:51I'm Sam Reich, and that sounds pretty good to me.
35:53Good night.
35:54Good night.
36:09Good night.
36:10Good night.
36:11Good night.
36:11Good night.
36:21You
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