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00:28Transcription by ESO. Translation by —
00:38Wow, honey.
01:08Wow, honey.
01:48Wow, honey.
02:00Wow, honey.
02:06Go away from my window, leave at your own chosen speed.
02:15I'm not the one you want, baby.
02:20I'm not the one...
02:24Are you okay?
02:25Oh, my God.
02:26Do you want to switch?
02:26We can switch.
02:27What the fuck?
02:29Do you want me to drive?
02:30Sorry, yeah.
02:31No, no, it's fine.
02:32Yeah, yeah.
02:32Oh, my God.
02:34Sorry.
02:34Just will you talk to me so I don't fall asleep again?
02:36Yeah, okay.
02:37Okay.
02:39Um...
02:39Oh, the original Coldies is coming up in the next town.
02:43Yeah?
02:43Yeah.
02:44Coldies?
02:45What, they didn't have Coldies in Oregon?
02:49Well, you've heard of Coldies, though, right?
02:51The frozen custard shop?
02:52No.
02:52Bro, are you kidding?
02:55What about Larry Poole, the founder of Coldies?
02:58How would I know about the founder of an ice cream shop that I've never heard of?
03:01I mean, he also murdered three women, and it's custard, not ice cream.
03:07Oh, my God.
03:07How?
03:08They make it different from ice cream.
03:10It uses more eggs or something.
03:12It was strangulation, I think, mostly.
03:14There's this podcast about Larry Poole, and it talks about this woman who tried to kill
03:19in the early 90s, and she was, like, eight months pregnant, and she just talks about
03:23all the fucking shit she had to do to survive.
03:26I mean, what kind of fucking shit?
03:29I was in his truck, and he was taking me down this remote highway, and that's when I noticed
03:35this tiny little shoe at my feet, a Barbie shoe.
03:38That could have meant he had a daughter, so I told him I was having a little girl.
03:43I was pregnant.
03:44I kept reminding him I'm pregnant.
03:46Then I saw a rest stop sign.
03:48I asked if he could stop, and he just reached over, and he slit my throat.
03:55It felt hot, the blood coming out of me.
04:01And what I didn't expect is that when you lose a lot of blood, you can feel actually euphoric.
04:10It was the same way I felt on my wedding day.
04:13More than near death, it was almost like love.
04:20And then Larry threw me out on the side of the road.
04:24I just kept thinking, if you close your eyes, you'll die here.
04:30So I got up.
04:32I walked along the road, holding my throat together, and I started to feel less euphoric and more
04:38melted, like I was disappearing.
04:41But at the same time, like, I was running a marathon, and I was winning.
04:46I was winning.
04:50I made it to the rest stop.
04:51A young couple was there.
04:53Their eyes.
04:54God, they were horrified by the sight of me.
04:58But they were so kind.
05:01Thank God for them.
05:02Thank God for them.
05:03Those people saved my life.
05:06I'm going to grab a lighter from the gas station.
05:08You want anything?
05:10Maybe, uh, cinnamon gum?
05:12It's not that gross.
05:13It's pretty gross.
05:14Oh, will you, uh, save us?
05:15Window booth, yeah.
05:23That's everybody's fine.
05:28No doubt about it.
05:31I really think you're fine.
05:34Oh, baby.
05:35I'll shine all about it.
05:38Tell the world you're mine.
05:41Oh, baby.
05:43He's got a fire desire.
05:45And what?
05:46It's not just that.
05:47I heard that you can also actually feel your bones and organs shifting to make room for
05:50the baby to come out.
05:52You know some women have giant babies.
05:54Have you heard of that?
05:55Like, 12-pound babies.
05:57Huge heads just tearing everything.
05:59We wouldn't have a huge baby.
06:01How do you know?
06:02Well, I just think that, like, our future baby would be dainty.
06:09You can't guarantee that.
06:12I don't want to be torn open.
06:14It'll be small, I promise.
06:15Like this.
06:16Smaller.
06:16Smaller?
06:17Okay.
06:18Smaller than that.
06:20Small and smaller.
06:22I can't.
06:23Okay.
06:24That's good.
06:26Wait.
06:27That's so close.
06:29Holy shit.
06:30This is just...
06:30Yeah, wait.
06:31I gotta show you.
06:31Hold on.
06:32With bad things happening to him.
06:34Why does he keep getting up?
06:35I don't know.
06:36The guy loves dogs.
06:38He loves dogs.
06:39And why do they keep going missing?
06:40What do you want me to say?
06:42Dogs go missing.
06:43No, dogs don't go missing.
06:45Cats go missing.
06:46That's not how it works.
06:47Are you sure you've never seen the logo before?
06:50I mean, it's identical.
06:52It is weird.
06:54You even got the pose right and everything.
06:56Yeah.
06:58That's crazy.
06:59It was six cents or something.
07:01Did I ever tell you about my dad's girlfriend, the one that had the daughter of Kathy?
07:05No, keep going.
07:06So his four-year-old girl Kathy, she could remember her past life.
07:09And she always talked about her late husband and how he drowned trying to rescue their son from the rapids.
07:17Sounds like Kathy had a great imagination.
07:19No, I think that children can inexplicably exist in a third dimension or at least remember their past lives and,
07:27I don't know, maybe even the future.
07:28And I think that's weird.
07:31I don't like it.
07:32Or Kathy had a great imagination.
07:36You didn't know Kathy.
07:37She was haunted.
07:39I don't want haunted children.
07:42Yeah, well, we won't haunt them.
07:44Make them out haunted.
07:46You're not haunted.
07:47You can't know that for sure.
07:49I hope our kid comes out like you.
07:51Which is very sweet.
07:56At least my mom would have to skip that part.
07:59Which part?
08:00The whole thing.
08:02I mean, aren't children just basically like a vessel for old people to pour their love into?
08:07Just distracting the inevitable loneliness of aging.
08:09Wow.
08:10Great lunch.
08:12I mean, what reason would a person have to keep losing their daughter?
08:15It's not like it's on purpose.
08:17I'm like, who cares?
08:19Do I get banned from another daughter?
08:20What's wrong?
08:23It's okay.
08:24I didn't even know her.
08:26Yeah.
08:26It's fine.
08:27I mean, we had such a great seven and a half months together.
08:32It was so good.
08:33I didn't really even need any more.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Yeah.
08:38Yeah, I've actually heard that.
08:39That's a secret to a healthy adulthood.
08:42What?
08:43A dead mother?
08:45And then the agoraphobic father?
08:47Yeah.
08:47It's perfect.
08:48I think I read a New York Times article about it.
08:50And they said also that someone with overbearing parents makes the perfect match for someone with a dead mother and
08:56a strange father.
08:57Should we, like, get married or something?
08:59Oh, I'm thinking really small ceremony, my parents' little vacation cabin in the woods, none of the wedding bullshit, just
09:05beautiful nature, snow falling outside the window.
09:08And we don't have to fly.
09:09We can drive and stop at the fanciest restaurants we can find.
09:13That's it.
09:14Let's fucking go.
09:15I'll marry you.
09:15Okay.
09:16Cheers.
09:18Clink.
09:20I love you.
09:21I love you.
09:22Hey.
09:23Mm-hmm.
09:25My family's gonna love you.
09:28Thanks.
09:29She's got it.
09:30We're getting married.
09:33And, um, our kid will be perfect.
09:41Don't put so much pressure on our kid.
09:44Our kid will be mediocre.
09:45Some kids kill their own parents.
09:48Okay, but how is our kid going to kill us when it's only this big?
10:06He's killing the dogs, isn't he?
10:08What?
10:17What?
10:19What?
10:21I'm just exploding your brain
10:23You're gonna roll me out again
10:24Now I don't feel the same
10:26I love you
10:29I love you
10:30I love you from the bottom of my heart
10:37My heart was made for bleeding
10:40I love you
10:41I love you
10:43And I know you're making me up
10:57Ready?
10:593
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12:58God, I got to pee.
13:05Oh.
13:42Oh my God, Nicky, Nicky, come here, come here.
13:46What?
13:47Come here.
13:52Look.
13:53Do you think it's okay?
13:56Okay, stay here.
13:58I'm gonna go check the bathroom.
14:01Rachel, are you...
14:02I'm looking for its parents and, uh, just stay.
14:05I'll be right back.
14:06Rachel.
14:07Uh, okay, hey, hi, baby.
14:11What's up?
14:12No, no, no, don't cry.
14:14All right, happy baby.
14:16Hello?
14:20Anyone in here?
14:31Oh my God.
14:37Hello?
14:38Hello?
14:39Hello?
14:46Hello?
14:51Hello?
14:55Hello?
14:58Hello?
14:59Hello?
14:59Hello?
14:59Hello?
15:00Hello?
15:00Hello?
15:00Hello?
15:01Hello?
15:01Hello?
15:02Hello?
15:02Hello?
15:31BIRDS CHIRP
16:01BIRDS CHIRP
16:05BIRDS CHIRP
16:07BIRDS CHIRP
16:37BIRDS CHIRP
16:39BIRDS CHIRP
16:41BIRDS CHIRP
17:06BIRDS CHIRP
17:20BIRDS CHIRP
17:21BIRDS CHIRP
17:36BIRDS CHIRP
17:38BIRDS CHIRP
17:38BIRDS CHIRP
17:41BIRDS CHIRP
17:55BIRDS CHIRP
17:56BIRDS CHIRP
18:03BIRDS CHIRP
18:05BIRDS CHIRP
18:19BIRDS CHIRP
18:21BIRDS CHIRP
18:25BIRDS CHIRP
18:27BIRDS CHIRP
18:35BIRDS CHIRP
18:37BIRDS CHIRP
18:53BIRDS CHIRP
18:56BIRDS CHIRP
19:04BIRDS CHIRP
19:05BIRDS CHIRP
19:06BIRDS CHIRP
19:08BIRDS CHIRP
19:11BIRDS CHIRP
19:18BIRDS CHIRP
19:19BIRDS CHIRP
19:19BIRDS CHIRP
19:19BIRDS CHIRP
19:19BIRDS CHIRP
19:20BIRDS CHIRP
19:25BIRDS CHIRP
19:27BIRDS CHIRP
19:28BIRDS CHIRP
19:30BIRDS CHIRP
19:31BIRDS CHIRP
19:32BIRDS CHIRP
19:34before me, but he hung himself in the bathroom
19:37with an electrical cord and they were too cheap
19:39to get me a name tag with my own name on it.
19:42Um, so could you, could you call the cops now, please?
19:48Are you stoned?
19:52It helps me relax.
19:54You seem relaxed.
19:55Could you call the cops, please?
19:57Wait here, I'll call.
20:08Oh no, we're in a hurry.
20:12All right.
20:19Yeah, we literally...
20:21Whew.
20:29Oh!
20:30So free.
20:31Oh, my God.
21:01Oh, fuck.
21:12Hey, you said south of here?
21:14Uh, yeah, south of here.
21:16Um, hey.
21:17Okay, stay there.
21:19Wait, Benjamin.
21:29Fuck.
21:33That's what's mine.
21:39You are my sweet friend.
21:52Oh, shit.
21:57I don't know.
22:26I don't know.
22:56Are you sure he's the one?
23:09Are you sure he's the one?
23:15Are you sure he's the one?
24:08Are you sure he's the one?
24:28Are you sure he's the one?
24:47Are you sure he's the one?
24:52Are you sure he's the one?
24:54Are you sure he's the one?
25:05And then I guess they went for a walk.
25:07And what?
25:07And left their baby in the car?
25:09Yeah, I don't know.
25:10What?
25:11Is that not fucking psychotic?
25:13Let me see.
25:14Oh, you had such a nice face.
25:17Yeah, they were really apologetic.
25:20They felt like we did the right thing.
25:21Okay.
25:22I'm so glad that they felt that way.
25:24Wait, wait.
25:24Should we wait for the cops?
25:29No.
25:30No.
25:30No, let's get the fuck out of here.
25:45You okay?
25:46Hmm?
25:47You okay?
25:47Yeah.
26:01What is it?
26:01Uh, code is 0817.
26:04Your birthday?
26:07No pressure.
26:09Marrying your favorite child.
26:10Stop.
26:11You know they can't wait to meet you.
26:12You okay?
26:25You okay?
26:27Oh, no.
26:28Yeah.
26:48Your parents' little vacation cabin?
26:52Is it not a cabin?
26:54It's not little.
26:57I don't know if I have a concussion or something.
27:00God.
27:05Okay.
27:07You ready?
27:18Holy shit.
27:24This is insane.
27:32Oh, God.
27:36Yeah.
27:36What is...
27:37It's like a tradition of the family dogs.
27:46Oh, it's actually...
27:48We always got in trouble for looking in their eyes because it was considered, like, disrespectful to do after they
27:54were dead.
27:55How would anyone know if you looked them in the eyes?
27:58Just my dad said that they could see.
28:00I just looked them in the eyes, so...
28:03Why am I in trouble?
28:05I guess we'll find out.
28:29Is that empty chair for me?
28:32I know.
28:33You've always dreamed of being painted into a family portrait guarded by two taxidermy dogs.
28:39Oh, yeah.
28:40Did they paint over your brother's ex-wife with his new one?
28:43Yeah.
28:44My sister demanded it.
28:47That's fucking weird.
28:55My son is the love cave.
28:58The love cave?
28:59Yeah.
29:00My son is the love cave.
29:12Whoa!
29:17Ow!
29:21Ow!
29:25Oh.
29:27Oh.
29:29Was this a family pet too?
29:32oh no my great-grandmother Elizabeth was killed by a bear and her husband died
29:40trying to avenge her death wow yeah would you do that for me of course okay
29:51sorry yeah you're good I could um get you some eyes for your face or I could
29:59you know just call the butler oh he's off at 10. oh I'm just kidding are you sure I can
30:11get it
30:11I got it just tell me where it is all right I'll get the bags from the car kitchen it's
30:16uh down the
30:18atrium to the right of the curb hallway by the front door here yeah to the right
30:53no I don't put the drugs I put them myself
30:56well you should divorce him and marry me and complete the Cunningham sibling trifecta
31:01fuck you scared the shit out of me sorry sorry I I didn't want to interrupt I can go
31:09oh my god she exists there's no such thing as interrupting come here we're family oh
31:17it's your wedding are you excited I am excited oh we were just talking about you and you appeared
31:25out of thin air I told you I can summon things she's not a thing Portia come meet your new
31:31family
31:34Nellie Julie it's Nellie hi it's Jules nice to meet you I can't believe we're finally meeting you it's
31:42like you've been avoiding us on purpose oh my god I was really disappointed when you didn't come to
31:45London or Iceland trip last summer but you're scared of planes or whatever I was just telling
31:50my friend Cindy about how you and Nikki met in an airport oh so romantic thank you you're really
31:58cute isn't she cute oh let me see the ring oh so pretty hmm Nellie isn't it pretty yeah so
32:08where
32:08is darling Nikki uh he's just unloading the car we we just got here I actually came in here to
32:15get
32:15some ice for his face because he um he got punched in the face tonight really why it's a long
32:25story
32:31you got time um we were at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere and there was um like
32:42an abandoned
32:42baby in in a car Nikki stayed with the baby I went to get help and then when I went
32:47to this dive bar
32:48there was just like very creepy guy what if it was the sorry man for sure the what did you
33:01know
33:01there's something evil living in these woods no we're not doing that come on I can tell a
33:06fucking story if I want to Rachel and Sarah good night Rachel good night watch out
33:14oh I'm gonna go Rachel it's quick it's a bedtime story yeah okay picture this it's a regular
33:34winter day a day just like today Jules is like eight and decides to run away because he's dramatic
33:38I'm a baby so I don't remember it anyway it starts getting dark out and baby Jules is all alone
33:43in the
33:43woods you know what's worse than being all alone in the woods when you realize you're actually not
33:53so Jules hears a woman screaming like but worse he tries to run away from the sound but no matter
34:00what direction he gets the screams get louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder
34:09until he comes face to face with it the sorry man with his long sharp dirty nails his distended belly
34:21his
34:23mouth open in a downturn smile wailing it's awful picture that shit ten fucking feet in front of you
34:33and that's what baby Jules sees so Jules hides from the sorry man holding his breath watching
34:41watching watching watching as a sorry man cuts a woman open and turns her inside out and the whole time
34:54he
34:54does it he cries and he says I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry it's awful he's totally deranged
35:06and
35:06he comes up from hell stalking these woods believing his long lost wife he's hidden inside another woman
35:13like one day he'll slice a woman open and there she'll be and the two of them can go back
35:20to hell
35:21and some fucked up romantic kind of oh my god what is that
35:35I got you I got you both oh Judy what's up
35:43what are you doing up Judy spying on the girls sorry you're poor sure I couldn't sleep well this is
35:51Rachel she's gonna be your new aunt isn't that exciting
35:56oh it's okay no the sorry man's awoken by the scent of blood so you just have to avoid bleeding
36:03you're not on your period right
36:07don't worry the sorry man doesn't want little boys no he prefers brides so this is what we say to
36:15auntie Rachel goodnight
36:16goodnight sweet bride sweet bride don't let the sorry man see your insides
36:31hey sir I had to hear that story to get me this it scared us so much when we were
36:36kids that our parents put a ban on it
36:39so you met Jules and Nellie too that's fun are they trying to kill each other with butter knives
36:44I mean you don't believe in it right
36:47no I definitely don't believe in the human skin wearing monster from hell
36:55but something happened to Jules in the woods from your kids
36:59you just came back different
37:03you don't know what really happened
37:07that's the story you came back with
37:10and then my parents ditched him at some fancy European boarding school
37:14pretty messed up right
37:15I stabbed a guy at the dive bar
37:18what
37:19with the car keys
37:22he was super fucking creepy
37:23what do you mean
37:25he kept staring at me and then he started walking up to me
37:27and I thought that he was going to hurt me but he was
37:29I don't know how to describe it but I was like
37:30he was watching me pee
37:32wait the lights are you okay
37:33yeah fine
37:35it was just
37:39I don't know
37:41I do feel sort of like I'm having deja vu
37:43but like not the good kind like I feel something so familiar and I don't know how to describe it
37:48except just dread
37:50like when you just like know something bad is going to happen you just know and I've been
37:53feeling that way more and more and more and more and more since we got here and then now that
37:59we're here I just like
38:01I don't know I just like I really I really feel it now
38:03come here come here Rachel
38:05baby come here
38:06it's okay
38:08I'm sorry
38:10I'm sorry
38:11I
38:12I get it
38:13hey I've been feeling it too
38:15I've been feeling off
38:16I completely understand
38:25thank you
38:26hmm
38:28did you tell your sister it didn't come to island because of a panic attack
38:33no
38:34I wouldn't do that
38:38then why does she know I'm afraid of flying
38:41well she knows the story of how we met
38:48I'm sorry.
38:50I'm sorry.
39:02I'm sorry.
39:04I'm sorry.
39:05Sorry.
39:05What?
39:14I have to do the thing.
39:43I have to do the thing.
39:47I'm sorry.
39:51I have to.
39:56I have to.
39:58No, no, no, no.
40:51I don't know.
40:58I don't know.
41:40I don't know.
41:59I don't know.
42:35I don't know.
43:03I don't know.
43:22I don't know.
43:28I don't know.
43:29I don't know.
44:00Mrs. Cunningham?
44:28Hey.
44:31Hey.
44:32Hey.
44:36Mrs. Cunningham?
44:38Hey, are you okay?
44:50There she is.
44:57The next Mrs. Cunningham?
45:09Hi.
45:10Hi.
45:11Victoria, sweetheart.
45:12All right, let's get you back to bed.
45:14Let's get you back to bed.
45:16I was just getting the mail.
45:18You don't have to do that, love.
45:19That's my job.
45:23We won't be seeing much of each other anymore.
45:25Oh, no, no, no, no, no, we'll...
45:26It's just the beginning.
45:49Oh, no, no, we will.
45:55It's just the beginning.
46:29You are my destiny, you are what you are to me, you are my happiness, that's what
46:52you are, you are my destiny, you share my reverie, you're more than happiness, that's what
47:21you are my destiny.
50:57You
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