- 3 hours ago
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives Season 4 Episode 7
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00:22I'm going to get a bite.
00:26Mmm, so good.
00:28Hi, Rooker.
00:31Hi!
00:35Hi, my little Coco Melly.
00:40Hi.
00:41Hi, Dad.
00:42Have you guys apologized to each other?
00:48Is everything good?
00:50Taylor asked me to go to therapy with her,
00:55and it just seems like every time we're together,
00:58we're fighting about the same things over and over.
01:01How does a parent, parents, their adult kid, but then be like,
01:07poor me, I need to go to the hospital?
01:09Do I say that to you, or are you making it up?
01:11Can you let me explain it to her first, and then you can talk to me?
01:15Yeah, I do need to work on my approach and not be so judgmental,
01:20and so I am really sorry.
01:22I appreciate that, and I'm sorry, too, because I think I just get defensive,
01:25just like you.
01:26I think apple doesn't fall far from the tree, you know?
01:29So, yeah.
01:30My mom and I decided to finally do therapy together,
01:33and it really opened my eyes to realizing how much I still have yet to learn about my family and
01:40her past.
01:42And then the genealogist found out that I have two more siblings.
01:46It was, like, shocked, honestly.
01:48Like, whoa.
01:49Did they even know?
01:50I don't believe so.
01:52I've not been able to reach them yet.
01:54That is wild.
01:56I'm nervous for my mom, but I'm like, this is news to her, too.
01:59This was her past with my biological dad, you know, once her relationship,
02:03but maybe it won't be that big of a deal.
02:05Um, so, I, uh, have news.
02:09Oh, great.
02:10I hate when you say that, because you get this smirk on your face.
02:13You do the, um, um.
02:17Well, this is, like, pretty, like, crazy news, and it's not bad.
02:20Okay, well, let's hear it.
02:21Like, I, my heart's already in my stomach.
02:24I'm just waiting.
02:25I always think she's gonna say she's pregnant or something to that effect.
02:31You guys ready?
02:32Oh, man.
02:33This is actually shocking to me, okay?
02:36I officially have two siblings other than Aspen and Hunter.
02:43Shut up.
02:44I am shocked by it.
02:46I did hear rumors before, when Taylor was younger, that she possibly had a sibling or two.
02:52And I just didn't believe it at the time.
02:56But there's, that's always been in my mind that that's a possibility.
02:59I have a little brother and a little sister that is 22 and 24.
03:04Shut up.
03:05No way.
03:06Where do they live?
03:08Colorado Springs.
03:09All of them.
03:10That's crazy.
03:11So, the mom, it says, they all have the same address as of the last time checked.
03:15The girl looks like me, a lot like you, too.
03:18But it's because she's, like, the dark hair and dark eyes.
03:20I feel like, yeah, it's scary to go down this road with her to find out, like, the truth about
03:26Brian.
03:27I've kept it to a distance just because, I don't know, I feel like some of it's my fault the
03:32way that her life is.
03:34And so, yes, I was skeptical about her finding out more.
03:39Are you going to reach out to them or do you want to know or do you care?
03:44Um, I, yeah, I just don't know, like, sometimes people, like, don't want to look at it.
03:49They don't want to acknowledge it.
03:51Obviously, they're adults, so I can go directly to the children.
03:53But they could be like, I had no idea.
03:55You know, like, they could think that's their dad.
03:57Yeah.
03:58Now that I've had more information about my siblings, I have a lot of questions.
04:04I want to know even more.
04:05But there is a part of me that's, like, questioning, should I even be doing this right now?
04:08Is this the right timing?
04:09Because I am about to take off and I'm going out to the bachelorette.
04:11But I am also like, this is precisely why I need to know so I can begin to heal my
04:17relationship with men before I leave.
04:19I feel like my trust issues come back to my biological father.
04:22There is a wound there that the one man that's supposed to love you and be by your side that
04:26didn't want you and you kind of knew that he had a choice there and didn't care.
04:30With Dakota, I think he surfaced that wound a lot.
04:32So if I want to move forward with someone else, I feel like I just need more answers on my
04:36past and, like, who I am.
04:41Come ye saints and come ye sinners, hallelujah!
04:49Listen up, I'm the one you've been dreaming of.
04:54I got everything you could ever want.
04:59Try me in your sleep, I'll bring you to your knees.
05:02Baby, you're gonna believe.
05:11Need us to help you in your temptation?
05:16Need us to help you!
05:27Come ye sinners!
05:36I think you forgot who the f*** I am
05:41I'm the original classic, fantastic
05:44I'm like Coutini, it's magic
05:47Okay kiddos, let's go outside
05:49We're gonna go eat
05:49We're gonna go do a little picnic
05:53Bubba's
05:53Hey, hey, hey
05:55Hey, hey, hey
05:57Hey, Bubba's
05:58You need to be nice to your sister, okay
06:01Jen's schedule for Dancing with the Stars is a hundred times more hectic and busy than
06:06we ever expected
06:06We thought she would have a few hours of dance practice a day, but it's been way more than
06:11that
06:11You like Bob?
06:12No
06:13One bite
06:14No
06:14Well, how about an airplane?
06:16So I have taken on the role of being the stay-at-home dad
06:19We're gonna call mommy real quick and just see how she's doing
06:22It's completely worth the sacrifice, but it's been way different than what I expected
06:26Mom
06:27You say hi to mama?
06:28Say hi, mama
06:30Hi, mama
06:31We were just checking in so the kids could see you before we went down for sleepies
06:35Oh my gosh, my schedule is absolutely insane
06:38I'm dancing for six to seven hours a day and right now I'm feeling a lot of mom guilt
06:45I am so grateful for Zach, all he's doing for me right now, but to be honest, it is hard
06:51Love you guys
06:52Okay, we'll see you in a few hours, love you
06:54Love you so much
06:57Hey, blow mommy a kiss
06:58Hey, blow mommy a kiss, give her a kiss
06:59I'm dancing
07:00That's your mama
07:02Okay, let's go
07:03Okay, here you read this one
07:05Daddy's gonna go hurry and put peanut down
07:13Please bless mommy that she can get home safe from dance
07:16Please bless poppy and kk and we're grateful for our home
07:19We're grateful for our bed and for all the things we have
07:22Like since I left medical school over a year ago
07:25Like I have been putting Jen's dreams in career first
07:27And I have mixed emotions about it
07:30Part of me is really excited for her because this is her dream
07:34And then there's part of me that's like honestly like homesick
07:36And just like ready to come home to Utah
07:38And I think I want to talk to Jen about that
07:40But ultimately we're kind of just in survival mode right now
07:45Yeah, I just don't really know like what I'm doing with myself
07:48So
07:51Lately, I don't know why, but I find myself after the kids are down
07:53Before Jen gets home, I find myself coming and hiding
07:55Not hiding, but just sitting in this bathroom
07:58It just is nice and quiet in here
08:00Jen is on her fourth, I don't know, 14-hour day in a row
08:04And it's a lot, I'll be honest
08:06Kids are a lot
08:08303 is no joke
08:09Yeah, I know
08:28Ooh, I love the smell
08:30It smells like we're going to whoop some dad talk ass out here
08:34I want to see them cry
08:35I started playing tennis when I was like five years old or so
08:39I played D1 tennis for BYU
08:41And then I wanted to do pro
08:43But I got pregnant at 19, so that didn't happen
08:46I've enjoyed playing pickleball
08:48So much so that I put a pickleball court in my backyard
08:50We want to use it
08:51So we're really excited
08:52So we decided to host a mom talk versus dad talk pickleball tournament
08:56I feel like we need to talk about why it's important to practice
09:00Is because we can never lose to dad talk
09:03My ego will not allow it
09:06Mom talk was created as an outlet for us moms to get together
09:09Make some videos, have fun, make some money
09:12And dad talk was created to write off our coattails
09:15That being said, mom talk needs to beat dad talk
09:18To kind of put them in their place
09:20And humble them a little bit
09:21They're surprisingly cocky
09:22And like, for what?
09:23Like, you are here because of us
09:25So, remember that
09:27Oh wait, Taylor, this is for you
09:29Since you're not playing
09:30Oh, hell yeah
09:31Is she the ref or something?
09:32She's the cheerleader
09:33She can talk shit
09:34So you might want to practice
09:36Since you can't practice pickleball
09:37I know, I wonder if I could just like
09:38Barely T-Rex it, you know?
09:40Yeah
09:40I'm pretty bummed that I don't get to play pickleball with the girls
09:42Because of my breast argumentation
09:44I just got done
09:45I'm still healing from it
09:46But I am super excited to cheer from the sidelines
09:49It's been fun to really get my time in with the girls
09:52Before I leave for the bachelorette
09:54Everybody hear me?
09:55I feel like this is not loud enough
09:56Hello, hello
09:57Oh guys, I have news
09:58What?
09:59I met up with a genealogist
10:01And I have two siblings
10:03What?
10:04On top of my other two siblings
10:06What?
10:07Yes
10:07And I did not know
10:08Wait, that's so wild
10:10Anyways, that was my news
10:12Dude, that's crazy
10:13I know
10:14I was not expecting you to say that
10:15I thought it was going to be something about Dakota
10:16Yeah, me too
10:17I was stressed
10:18What guys are all coming?
10:20I think all of them besides Connor
10:22Dakota did like college basketball
10:25So he's pretty good at any sport
10:27Okay, wait
10:28So do we have enough boys and girls?
10:30Hey, that was hard for me to say it
10:32So
10:32Oh, she can't play
10:34Wait, what do we do then?
10:35Shania is good
10:36At pickleball
10:37I played with her
10:38You can call her
10:39Maybe I call her
10:39Shania is my best friend
10:41And she's also friendly with Taylor and Layla
10:44And we had a ton of fun together at Stagecoach
10:48Oh my god
10:50Here we go
10:52Shania and I have played pickleball together on a number of occasions
10:55And she can definitely hold her own
10:57I don't know
10:58I think we can
10:58I think we'll put up a good fight against Dad Talk
11:00I think we have a good plan
11:01She'll call Shania
11:02If Shania can do it
11:03If not, Macy's gonna play twice
11:04Okay
11:05Is this love when you call?
11:09Say my name
11:11Oh baby, run
11:13Is this love
11:14I love this place
11:16It's so good
11:18We have a reservation?
11:20Yes, it's under Jordan
11:21Jordan, perfect
11:22Follow me
11:23Thank you
11:23Thank you
11:24It's Jordan and Maya's five-year wedding anniversary
11:26And I'm feeling conflicted
11:29Because we're trying to work on our marriage
11:31I'm still struggling with certain things
11:32Thank you so much
11:34Thank you
11:34You're welcome
11:35I left my first husband right after our five-year anniversary
11:38So five years has always felt kind of cursed to me
11:41And then Jordan and I got together right after my ex and I split
11:44So I'm definitely feeling emotional tonight
11:46Bacon wrap dates
11:48You know, I'm excited
11:49What are you gonna get?
11:50I'm gonna get the halibut
11:52Oh, nice
11:56I can't believe it's our anniversary
11:57Yeah
11:58It's been a hell of a year
11:59Yeah
12:01It's been insane
12:15I'm gonna cry
12:16What's wrong?
12:19Five-year was harder for me than I thought it was gonna be
12:26I'm just gonna, like, my first marriage ended up right after my five-year anniversary
12:31And I didn't realize it was gonna be so tiring
12:38I'm sorry
12:40It was, like, five years
12:44And, like, the anniversary was kind of, like, the unraveling of the timeline, I guess
12:48And then it ended and I knew it was ending for a while, obviously
12:51But now, like, obviously we're not in, like, an amazing place
12:54And so it's, like, five years is, like, triggering because of that
13:01It's tough, but, like, I'm just grateful every day to be in this
13:07And working on things and fighting for this
13:16This dinner's kind of a weird vibe
13:17Jordan and I have been living in limbo for a while
13:20And that is mostly my fault because I just have not been sure about what I want
13:24But as of right now, we're both committed to really trying and giving it 100%
13:29And we've kind of decided that by the end of the year, we're gonna make a decision
13:33And if we're still in limbo, that means that we need to be done
13:36For me, like, because of all the things that we've gone through and my mistakes
13:42And your mistakes, I think at some point I would love to, like, renew our vows
13:48And we've just been through so much
13:50And, like, I think that that is something that at some point I would be interested
13:54That is, like, my goal
13:55Like, that is what I would ultimately like to work towards
13:59It just feels like maybe it would be a band-aid
14:01Like, I don't feel like we're in a place where that would feel authentic
14:04Yeah, I'm not saying we are
14:06No, I know
14:06But, like, it's hard for me to even say a year from now or two years
14:09I don't know
14:11Even though Jordan and I are working on things
14:14It just feels like we're never on the same page
14:17And we can't quite get there
14:19And I'm trying to give it time
14:20And I'm trying to see if that can change
14:22But I am open to the possibility that this could work out
14:26And this could make us stronger than ever
14:28Or maybe we are destined for divorce
14:31And that has to be a real possibility as well
14:52Oh, what's up, dude?
14:53What's up, guys?
14:54How's it going, man?
14:55How are you, man?
14:56How are you hanging in there, dude?
14:57Survive?
14:57Dude, I hope you're doing it
14:59What did you guys get?
15:00What did you order?
15:00I haven't ordered yet
15:01I'm going to get this out
15:02The struggle, bro
15:05You guys time for tomorrow?
15:06For the pickleball tournament?
15:07Dakota, you coming, right?
15:08I don't know, maybe
15:09Who do you want to be partnered with?
15:11I'm pretty damn good
15:12Okay
15:12I have a feeling that you're probably pretty good
15:14I bet you'd be Dakota
15:15Do you play pickleball?
15:16Do you play pickleball?
15:17I play pickleball so I understand the movement and stuff
15:19How many times have you played pickleball?
15:20You need to calm down real quick, buddy
15:21The only thing worse than Dakota's pickleball skills
15:25Is that disgusting thing he calls a mustache on his face
15:28It is awful
15:31I went to some store the other day
15:32And I was getting glazed
15:34For some reason
15:35I went in there and like every
15:37There was like, you know, 20 old ladies in there
15:39They were like, oh my god, look at you
15:41You're such a great daddy
15:42I'm like, okay
15:44I was just like changing my baby's diaper
15:46They're like, good for you
15:49Jace, how's Michaela?
15:50How are you guys doing?
15:51Just chugging along
15:53As far as our issues that we're going through
15:55It's kind of just still in the same spot
15:57Right now in Michaela and I's relationship
15:59There's a lot of days where I'm feeling
16:00I'm feeling positive
16:01And I wake up and I'm thinking
16:02Okay, things are going to be better
16:04We're going to get a handle on these skin issues
16:06And these intimacy issues
16:07And then there are days where I'm feeling like
16:11Like nothing seems to be working
16:13We did go to a therapy session
16:15How are you guys?
16:16I have to convince myself every day
16:18That she does love me
16:19I get so frustrated that
16:21I can't even get like a kiss from my wife
16:24I just feel so guilty that I can't
16:28I can't show up for my kids
16:30And I can't show up for my husband
16:31And I can't just
16:32I feel like I just can't do anything
16:35I think we're both feeling stuck
16:37And we're not sure how to navigate it
16:40Or where to push for movement
16:41So like how do you just stay cool with it
16:43If the progress isn't being made?
16:45I'm not cool with it
16:46Wait, how long are we talking, Jay?
16:49Well, I don't know if that's your personal
16:50The thing is, it's not like she's saying
16:52We're not going to do this ever
16:53It's just kind of a
16:54If we're ever going to do this
16:56It's not going to be for me
16:57I'm not going to enjoy it
16:58It's going to be just for you
17:00And so I'm kind of like
17:01Yeah
17:02I don't want to do that
17:04You know what I mean?
17:05That's so hard
17:06Yeah
17:07I'm definitely not okay with it
17:09But like I don't
17:09If me, me throwing fits about it all the time
17:12And getting a pulse about it
17:13It doesn't help anything
17:14So
17:14I just feel like that
17:15The only thing you can do
17:16Is just kind of be patient
17:18And be there for her
17:19Have you even just thought about
17:20Like how long you could like
17:21This can last for
17:22Kind of in the same situation
17:24Well
17:25There's no progress
17:25Yeah
17:26I think growing up in Utah
17:28And in the Mormon culture
17:29It was very commonplace for men
17:31To be the one in charge
17:32And the provider
17:34Dad talk is breaking that stigma
17:37And I think it's something
17:38That's been difficult for a lot of us
17:40Because of those cracks that are created
17:42Sometimes those cracks can turn into
17:43A lot bigger problems
17:44Honestly, we talked about this
17:46And I would probably do like
17:48Something like a separation
17:49Like Jordan and Jessie did
17:50At that point
17:51And then we try that out
17:52And if she was like
17:53You know what?
17:54I'm still not
17:54I don't want to take this seriously
17:56It's not important to me
17:57Then
17:57Yeah
17:58Then that's that
17:59It's just a really tough
18:00Sensitive thing
18:01And it's so tricky
18:02Because you can't be
18:03Pushed into that
18:04No
18:05Anyway
18:06Appreciate us talking about it
18:07Though
18:07Because I feel like
18:08Talking about it
18:08Is only going to help
18:09Yeah
18:09We've talked about
18:11Separation
18:12And we've thought about
18:13If we separate
18:14Is it going to create
18:15More space for you
18:16To where you're going to
18:17Feel like you can work
18:18On these issues
18:19And that's kind of
18:20My intent behind it
18:22Because I can definitely
18:23Feel hopeless at times
18:25It's a scary
18:26Barrel of a gun
18:27To look down
18:27For sure
18:28How about
18:29How about we have
18:30An entry fee
18:30To the pickleball tournament
18:31Because everyone has to
18:32You know
18:33Go to an hour of therapy
18:34In order to get in
18:34I got enough credits
18:36I got enough credits
18:36I got enough credits
18:37For all of you
18:38Okay
18:45I deserve it
18:46I work hard for me
18:51I deserve it
18:52I work hard for me
18:53I know this restaurant's called
18:54Is it Jenna or Gemma?
18:56I think it's Gemma
18:57But we can call it Jenna
18:59Gemma
19:00That's cute
19:05Well you look nice
19:06Yeah thank you
19:07I like your shirt
19:08I got ready
19:08I felt like we were going
19:10On a first date again
19:11I was excited
19:11Really?
19:14I wish I could say the same
19:18I'm a rat
19:19I stink
19:20I smell
19:22My body hurts
19:24Zach and I are going
19:24On a date tonight
19:25And to be honest
19:26This is kind of a big deal
19:28Because I can't even remember
19:29The last time we had
19:29Like a full on conversation
19:30Our life has been so crazy
19:32Since Dancing with the Stars
19:33Is eventually going to come
19:34To an end
19:35I'm starting to ask myself
19:37Do I want to stay in L.A.
19:38You know I kind of need to know
19:40Will Zach support me
19:41Or will it be too hard
19:42So I feel like this date
19:43Is going to be really important to us
19:44Yeah I'm tired
19:46You look tired
19:48Even though I'd
19:49I really want to sleep right now
19:51I know this is important too
19:53And getting time together
19:54So I'm glad that we could
19:56Have this time
19:57I've been missing you
19:58It's been
20:00It's been pretty tough
20:01Really?
20:04The experience hasn't been fully
20:07What I expected
20:08I knew you were going to be busy
20:09But I thought we were going to have time
20:11To do a lot as a family
20:13And I think I realized
20:14Pretty quickly after being here
20:16That that's just not what this is going to be
20:18Like
20:19I mean
20:20I've never seen you work so hard
20:21And I'm proud of you
20:22But at the same time
20:23I'm like
20:24I miss you
20:26Yeah
20:26And it's just been hard for me that
20:30Like
20:31We never see each other
20:32Like we
20:33We never talk
20:35It's definitely discouraging
20:37Hearing Zach talk about
20:38How hard it's been for him
20:40Supporting me on this journey
20:42Just because
20:42The past
20:44Five years of our marriage
20:46That's what I've been doing for him
20:47He always focuses on
20:50What I'm not doing now
20:52And he forgets like
20:53What I've done in the past
20:54It's unfair to put so much
20:56Pressure on me
20:57When he had his turn
20:58And now it's my turn
20:59To go after my career
21:00And he knows that
21:01And should support that
21:02Especially after like
21:05Scoring low last week
21:07I've like put like
21:08More stress on myself
21:09Because I'm like
21:10I do not want to go home
21:12Like
21:14It's a dream
21:15It's a dream to get that
21:15Mirrorball
21:16Like I want it so bad
21:17And so I'm like
21:19Working so hard
21:20But feel so much guilt
21:22Being away at the same time
21:23It's like
21:24So much
21:25And
21:25I guess I feel bad
21:27Like
21:27Honestly even just
21:28Talking to me right now
21:29I feel bad that
21:32It's been hard for you
21:34Does it scare you?
21:36Like if you were to like
21:37Move down here
21:38And like
21:38I want to
21:40You know
21:41Like pursue
21:42Acting
21:44Singing
21:44Like more of
21:45The entertainment
21:46Industry
21:47Yeah
21:49Um
21:53Yeah
21:53It does
21:57See I don't want you
21:58To feel mom guilt
21:59But like
21:59Our kids
22:00Do
22:00Miss you
22:01I try my best
22:02To have a nurturing side
22:03But like I'm not
22:04I'm not mom
22:05And I can't
22:06It's hard for me
22:06To fill that void with them
22:07Even when I try
22:09Yeah
22:10And it makes me
22:11Worried for our marriage
22:12Because
22:14I don't think
22:15This life in Hollywood
22:16Is really
22:17Set up
22:18Like it's not really
22:19Super conducive
22:20With like a healthy marriage
22:22For example
22:23Two days ago
22:24We're
22:24You know
22:25Jan's a great guy
22:26I have no issues
22:27With Jan
22:27Super respectful
22:28But
22:28I'm sitting there
22:30You know
22:31Walking through Disneyland
22:32Watching my wife
22:33Dance in front of
22:34Cinderella Castle
22:35With another man
22:35And like
22:37Probably wasn't
22:38My plan A
22:39You know
22:40Yeah
22:40Um
22:41Or plan B
22:42Or C
22:45I think everyone
22:46Knows that
22:47Hollywood
22:47Is probably not
22:48The healthiest place
22:49For marriages
22:52You see a lot
22:53Of these actors
22:53Be in relationships
22:54You see them
22:55Get divorced
22:55Multiple times
22:56I think it's just
22:57It demands so much
22:58Of you
22:58Like I just want
22:58To have
22:59Open conversations
23:00And I feel like
23:01Jen instead of
23:02Wanting to talk to me
23:03About these things
23:03Like she just wants
23:04To avoid it
23:05I do feel like
23:06You being a wife
23:07Has taken like
23:09The back burner
23:10I feel like it's
23:12Dancing with the stars
23:14Social media
23:15Jen
23:15Reality TV
23:16Jen
23:16Jen is a mother
23:17And like
23:17Jen as a wife
23:18Is not important
23:20Do not put
23:21The fact that you
23:22Just said that
23:23That I'm putting
23:24That before
23:25Like being a mom
23:26Oh no no no
23:27Sorry
23:27Is actually
23:27I'm just saying
23:28I'm not taking that
23:29I put being a mom
23:31Before
23:31I'm not saying
23:32I'm just saying
23:33What I was trying
23:33To say is
23:34Being a wife
23:35I feel like
23:35Cakes is a back burner
23:37To a lot of the other
23:38Places that are
23:39Pulling your energy
23:40This
23:41This experience
23:42Isn't for the weak
23:44Especially
23:46Being a parent
23:46It's hard
23:48It'd be so easy
23:49If like
23:50Whitney and I
23:51Were single
23:52And we didn't have
23:53Kids to come home to
23:54A spouse to come home to
23:55That's kind of
23:56A crazy comment
23:57It really would be
23:58A piece of cake
24:00Do you want a divorce?
24:09No
24:10Did you take
24:10My comment that way?
24:12I don't know
24:13I don't
24:13I didn't know
24:13How to take your comment
24:15I'm literally saying
24:17Talking to all
24:18The single people
24:19On there
24:19When they start
24:20Complaining
24:21I literally
24:21Start laughing
24:22Because I'm like
24:23You have no idea
24:25You don't have kids
24:26To come home to
24:27You don't have a spouse
24:28Like you literally
24:29Don't have a spouse
24:30And kids
24:30Like you have yourself
24:32That's all you have
24:33To think about
24:35What it means
24:36To be a good wife
24:36In the LDS culture
24:38Is you know
24:39To be a stay at home
24:40Wife
24:41To cook
24:41To clean
24:42I think that's
24:43Still ingrained in him
24:44That's why
24:44It's even more important
24:46I do what I'm doing
24:47Because I want
24:49To be a representation
24:50That your life
24:51Doesn't stop
24:52When you're a mom
24:53You matter too
24:56This is a season
24:57Of life
24:57Like just because
24:59It's a season of life
25:01Where you're
25:01Supporting me fully
25:03Like doesn't mean
25:04That there isn't
25:05Room for you
25:06To grow in the future
25:07Or you to do
25:07Your own thing
25:08I don't think that either
25:10And I don't
25:10I'm not trying to get at that
25:12And I'm not trying to get at
25:12Like you feeling bad
25:13Like that's the opposite
25:15But I've literally
25:16In a sense given up
25:17Everything
25:17To fight for our marriage
25:19And to be here
25:19Supporting you
25:20In your dreams
25:22I remember
25:22I remember like for many years
25:23Of our marriage
25:24Was only thinking about
25:25What I had to do next
25:26What was on my to-do list
25:27What I was feeling
25:28That I never
25:28So I'm doing encourage
25:30Yeah
25:30It's my turn now
25:31Yeah
25:32I don't know
25:34Sometimes I'm like
25:35This is too much
25:37Yeah
25:38To be honest
25:39I'm very conflicted
25:40Because
25:41I think it's
25:42Really important
25:43That I push
25:46For my dreams
25:47And goals
25:48But at the same time
25:50I do prioritize
25:51My marriage
25:51And I do want
25:52Zach to be happy
25:53And so
25:54I think that's something
25:56I'm just gonna have to
25:57Take step by step
26:22Is that cute?
26:24Is that your mom?
26:26Hi
26:27Hi
26:29Hi
26:31How are you?
26:31Good
26:32How are you?
26:33How are you?
26:33I'm leaving for the bachelorette
26:35And honestly
26:35All I can think of
26:37Is wanting to meet
26:37My dad's family
26:39And maybe get some answers
26:41Before going into that
26:42I was thinking
26:43Maybe this weekend
26:44We could go to Colorado
26:46For what?
26:48To get answers
26:48Did he ever want to reach out?
26:50At any age?
26:52Any age
26:52When he knew I got
26:53Was getting married
26:55Big milestone
26:56Graduation
26:56Things like that
26:57Like did he want to?
26:58Do you know that?
26:59Like I would ask his friend
27:00Or family
27:00Whoever I can get in
27:01Contact with
27:02Are the kids
27:03Do you think
27:04Are his kids
27:04One, both?
27:05Do you think
27:06He has more kids out there?
27:07Did he have any
27:07Girlfriends after that?
27:08Like I have so many questions
27:09I could go off
27:10Like I don't know anything
27:11I think this is just
27:12Really bad timing
27:13On your part
27:14Because you're going
27:15To be leaving soon
27:16And this is like
27:17A huge thing
27:18I don't think
27:19There's ever a right time
27:19For this to be honest
27:21So have you talked to anyone
27:22From the family?
27:24Yeah I talk to them
27:25And nobody is willing
27:27To talk to you
27:28Like they're not
27:29Want, they don't want to
27:30You're not going to be able
27:31To talk to
27:32Like your
27:33Maybe siblings
27:34You know
27:35That you have
27:35I think it could be disruptive
27:37And I don't want to
27:39Do that necessarily
27:40To a family
27:41I think that's why
27:42I'm trying to get on the side
27:43And just to get answers
27:44And I don't even need
27:44To do anything with them
27:46Directly
27:46I just think that timing
27:48Is like an issue
27:49And then just
27:49It can bring
27:50Lots of emotions up
27:52And I don't know
27:55I'm obviously
27:57Hesitant to go back
27:58To Pueblo
27:59To bring out
28:00The old memories
28:01Of Brian
28:02And stuff that
28:03Maybe Taylor
28:04Won't be excited about
28:05And might be
28:07Very hurtful
28:08I want her to have
28:09A clear mind
28:10When she's going on
28:11The Bachelorette
28:12But Taylor
28:13Needs all the facts
28:14Like today
28:15If she doesn't get it
28:16It makes her more anxious
28:17And she just
28:18Has to know
28:19So it's better
28:21Just to get it done
28:22And deal with it later
28:23I mean
28:24I want you to know
28:25Like I want you
28:27To get the answers
28:27That you deserve
28:28Because I just think
28:29That you
28:29I just think
28:32That you deserve
28:33Like you know
28:34You deserve
28:36So much
28:41And I just
28:42I don't know
28:46Just being 17
28:47And bringing a baby
28:48Into the world
28:49Just wasn't smart
28:51You know
28:51But
28:52Or at least like
28:53Sometimes I wish
28:55I don't know
28:55If I
28:56I could have gave you up
28:57For adoption
28:58And maybe you would have
28:59Had a better life
29:00I don't know
29:01Or maybe
29:01Happier
29:03I've had a great life
29:08You don't really think
29:10That she would have
29:11Had a better life
29:11If you put her
29:12For adoption
29:13Do you?
29:14Sometimes
29:16It was hard
29:17Finding out
29:17You're pregnant
29:18Your senior year
29:19Not only was I young
29:21But I was going to be
29:22A disappointment
29:23To my family
29:25My religion
29:26You know
29:27The people I go to church with
29:28And then also
29:29Not being stable
29:31In my relationship
29:32With Brian
29:34It was difficult
29:36And so
29:37Sometimes when I look
29:38At some of the choices
29:39That she makes
29:41I can't help
29:43But to feel
29:44Like if I would have
29:45Put her up for adoption
29:47That maybe
29:48She would have been happier
29:51I don't mind
29:52Like
29:53You wanting to know
29:54I just think
29:55All these years
29:56That like
29:56We really didn't
29:57Talk about it
29:58You just never
29:58Really asked about it
30:00Yeah but you
30:00Didn't talk about it
30:02At all
30:02And that's okay
30:03Like I understand
30:03You're trying to
30:04Leave it in the past
30:04Right but
30:05It would have been
30:05Nice to do this
30:06When I was younger
30:07For sure
30:08Yeah
30:09This is just hard
30:11And I never like
30:12Brought it to
30:13Surface
30:13Yeah
30:16Well I'm willing
30:17To go with you
30:18If that's what you want
30:21Yeah I do
30:21I'd like you to come
30:24There's a part of me
30:25That wonders
30:26If this will hurt
30:28My mother's
30:29And I's relationship
30:30And cause a bigger
30:31Rift between us
30:32But if I do get
30:33A lot of questions
30:33Out there
30:34Asking about
30:35Like my past
30:35I think it'd be nice
30:36To have some answers
30:38Because again
30:39That could be
30:39Down to the very
30:40Like issues of my wounds
30:42Of things I maybe
30:42Want answered
30:43So I don't think
30:44Get hurts
30:45To do this either
30:46I think I just
30:46Don't know
30:47If you'll get
30:47The answers
30:48And I don't know
30:49If it's going
30:49To be a waste of time
30:50Well I guess
30:51We'll find out
30:51Won't we
30:52Maybe
31:11Liam don't climb
31:12Up the slides
31:13That's dangerous
31:15That's dangerous
31:15Oh
31:16Sedona's fast
31:18How about you
31:18Make me a strawberry
31:19Sprinkle one
31:20Ice cream
31:21I'm looking forward
31:22To spending some time
31:23With Connor
31:24Especially with someone
31:24Who's going through
31:25Such a similar process
31:26And I feel like
31:27He's been handling it
31:28Super well
31:29And so I even want
31:30Some of his advice
31:30On like how he's
31:31Coping with it
31:32And just talk to like
31:33Another adult human being
31:34Can you guys cook us
31:35Something for dinner
31:36I'd love a snack
31:38Try and make me
31:39The grossest dinner
31:41Yeah
31:42I feel like
31:43Zach and I
31:44The idea of us
31:45Both moving to LA
31:46Both being stay at home
31:47Parents
31:47Definitely felt less
31:48Isolating
31:49Feeling like there was
31:50Another person there
31:51Kind of walking
31:52A similar experience
31:53In life that I was
31:54Jen and I went on
31:55Our first date
31:56Last night
31:57She's just kind of like
31:58Hey I'm loving being in LA
32:00And I like want to live here
32:02And I want to pursue
32:03Like more opportunities
32:04Out here
32:04Like are you down for that
32:05And I don't know
32:06How sustainable
32:07What we're currently doing
32:09Is for the long run
32:11I feel like I'm gonna
32:12Explode right now
32:13It's a lot
32:14Are you enjoying
32:15A break from work
32:16Or do you feel like
32:16You could be a
32:17Stay at home dad forever
32:18That's a great question
32:19I need to have my own thing
32:21Whitney and I
32:21Were like having
32:22This conversation
32:23Which was like
32:23I think it's time
32:24For you to
32:24Quit your job
32:25I feel like every time
32:26I come home from rehearsal
32:27I'm even more overwhelmed
32:29Because we're both working
32:31There is like a
32:32Gravitational pull
32:34Around your career
32:35At the moment
32:36And I don't think
32:38It's too selfish
32:39For you to say
32:40Hey I could use
32:42The additional support
32:43Of you just being
32:43A stay at home parent
32:44Ultimately
32:45I decided to leave
32:46My job as a technical analyst
32:48Let me tell you
32:50Loved my job
32:51And being a stay at home parent
32:52It's very easy
32:53To lose a sense
32:54Of self
32:54I was a little scared
32:56Less about what other people
32:57Were going to think about me
32:58And more about how
32:59I was going to value myself
33:00And how Whitney
33:01Was going to value me
33:01Like oh
33:02Am I going to
33:02Am I going to
33:03Lose her respect
33:04I've tried to take this
33:05As an opportunity
33:06For me to
33:06Express myself in ways
33:08I don't think
33:08I would have had time for
33:09Before
33:09So something I've been doing
33:12Tell me
33:13You're not going to
33:14Believe this
33:16Magic
33:19I've been practicing
33:21I've been practicing
33:46Fulfilling for your children
33:46But fulfilling for you
33:47I just need something
33:48Where I can like
33:50Practice and train at
33:51I just need to stimulate
33:52Myself
33:52Yeah and to be fair
33:54Like Whitney and Jen
33:55When they were stay at home moms
33:56I think they felt the same way
33:57I think that's why
33:58They started TikTok
33:59That's how they had their outlet
34:01I know it's just a season
34:02But a lot of times
34:03I feel like I'm Jen's husband
34:05Like that is my identity
34:06That's my TikTok bio
34:08Whitney's husband
34:10I guess ever since
34:11Like leaving medical school
34:12I'm like I want to do
34:13Something that like
34:13Stimulates my brain
34:14Something where I feel
34:15Fulfilled inside of me
34:16Not just as like a parent
34:18I guess
34:18Yeah
34:19I'm sorry it's been hard
34:21I don't think
34:22This is an easy experience
34:23As fun as it is
34:39You ready to play some pickleball?
34:41I'm a little nervous
34:41Because I don't know
34:42How my team's going to do
34:43They're a little bit
34:44On the beginner side here
34:45And you know I don't like losing
34:47So today is the first annual
34:49MomTalk vs DadTalk
34:50Pickleball tournament
34:51With my tennis background
34:53I'm obviously feeling
34:54Very confident
34:55I know I'm going to be
34:56The best one on the court
34:57Jacob will be the second best
34:59If I were to guess
35:00Because he's pretty good
35:01But I'm obviously better
35:02With me on MomTalk's side
35:04I am confident
35:05That MomTalk will be
35:06Bringing home the trophy
35:07Oh my gosh
35:08She's making this like legit
35:10Wow
35:11You're like getting tense
35:12This looks good
35:15I don't think
35:15Jessie's on Macy's team
35:16Like you wanted
35:18We were trying to put you
35:19On Macy's team
35:20So she'd get pissed
35:21What?
35:21I wouldn't get pissed
35:22At her actually
35:23After our anniversary dinner
35:25I feel like Jordan and I
35:26Have just been really stuck
35:27Because I would just hit
35:28One
35:28I'd hit some lobster
35:29And immediately
35:30I don't think I'm ready
35:32To take the next step
35:33Of like filing for divorce
35:34At this point
35:35Just walking away completely
35:36Is terrifying to me
35:38So I think I'm just
35:39Waiting to wake up
35:40And like feel it
35:41In my gut
35:41That I need to leave
35:42And I just haven't
35:43Felt that quite yet
35:44Hello
35:46Welcome
35:46You guys ready to win?
35:47Are you ready to lose?
35:48Wait is that us
35:49Versus MomTalk?
35:49Yeah dude
35:50That's amazing
35:52You ready to lose?
35:53Sure
35:53Wow
35:55Hello
35:55Oh hi
35:56Hi
35:57Good
35:57How are you?
35:58What's up Ever?
35:59Hi
35:59So you guys are playing too right?
36:01No I'm not
36:02I'm here for moral support
36:03Taylor's not able to play today
36:04Because she just got her girls redone
36:06Love that for her
36:07He's ready to get a good old fashioned ass
36:09So we're down a player
36:11MomTalk
36:11And Miranda decided to invite Shania
36:13Which I think will be a good addition
36:15Okay welcome to the first annual MomTalk
36:19First DadTalk Pickleball Championship
36:21Woo
36:21Yeah
36:23Go MomTalk
36:25There will be three MomTalk teams
36:27And three DadTalk teams
36:28There will be five games total
36:29One game elimination
36:30And there is a big trophy for the winner
36:32And I feel like what we should do
36:34Is whoever wins
36:34They get MomTalk engraved in it
36:36Or DadTalk
36:37Whoever loses has to get MomTalk tattooed on their ass
36:41Okay Shania and Miranda
36:43Versus me and Jordan
36:44Let's go guys
36:45Go DadTalk
36:47Okay let's go
36:48Okay let the games begin
36:50Touch chips for good luck
36:53Oh
36:54Dude
36:55What are you doing
36:57Jordan
36:58Jordan
37:00Jordan
37:01Match point
37:04Let's go
37:07Let's go
37:08Let's go
37:09Shit
37:10Oh sorry
37:12This is single handedly setting back feminism by decades guys
37:16Okay next is me and Mikayla against
37:19Chase and Mason
37:21A lot of chasers
37:21That was rude
37:22Let's get a lead
37:23Ready
37:27You can sit by me
37:28It's not a sin
37:29I'm not trying to
37:30Or like a rule
37:33Sorry baby your ears are probably just ruined
37:37For me
37:39I know you're not even my mom
37:41Okay she loves
37:42It's a girl
37:42And she loves
37:43You said he
37:44I said it
37:45Well why did you say it
37:46Because I can remember
37:46You should see how much she smiles
37:48I mean
37:49She smiles so much with me
37:50Okay we'll let you know she's happy now
37:52And let's take it
37:53I love how we're getting along now
37:58Yeah you guys good?
38:00I've always been good
38:02That's not what I'm going to go that far
38:04Got it
38:06Nice mix
38:08Nice mix
38:11Great job
38:12Yes good
38:13Great job
38:14Macy and Michaela won
38:16The next teams are going to be
38:17Jesse and Layla
38:18Playing team Jason Dakota
38:21Oh good luck
38:22Okay
38:23I am actually genuinely scared
38:27Oh
38:27Yeah good first try
38:29That was the warm up hit
38:30Oh shit
38:33Just hit it like that
38:34But twice as hard
38:35We are about to absolutely embarrass the shit out of mom talk
38:39I am not athletic
38:41Run
38:41I'm just not coordinated
38:43Okay
38:44Oh no
38:44Oh
38:45I just I don't understand like
38:48Oh my god
38:49The fact that they paired Layla and I together is diabolical
38:53Given Jesse's performance you would never guess that she has a
38:57Full ass pickleball court in her very backyard
39:00A little quicker next time
39:02I'm just disappointed
39:03That was it
39:04Yeah
39:05Good game
39:08How are you?
39:10Sad
39:11Yeah
39:11Ah
39:12Shania and I
39:13I have been really trying to help her with her recent breakup
39:17She does want just a friend to be like
39:19I get you
39:20I understand you
39:21And I've been there
39:21So like I just wanted to be there for her
39:23Update me
39:24What's the verdict?
39:26He blocked me on everything
39:28And they're just acting like
39:30They're a perfect little family
39:32He got back with his wife
39:34They moved back in together
39:35Oh no
39:35That's why
39:36He found God
39:38Were they ever getting separated?
39:41I'm sorry
39:41Were they ever?
39:42Yeah I saw paperwork
39:43That is wild
39:44This is why I can't trust people
39:46Anybody
39:47Is anybody
39:48Jess
39:49Come here
39:49Who is Shania
39:52Miranda Calder
39:54This is so awkward
39:55That is so awkward
39:57No one knows
39:58I am kind of wondering what's going to go down with Shania here right now
40:03Because Dakota and her did DM
40:05Oh that reminds me
40:07He sent Shania a DM
40:10Wait
40:10Saying what?
40:12It was like
40:12Was it flirtatious?
40:16I think kind of
40:17But it was kind of like open ended
40:19Like it was
40:20I'll see if she'll send me the screenshot
40:22That's so crazy
40:24Don't make it a thing
40:25Like
40:26I'm just saying like
40:27No one needs to make it a thing
40:28It's just irrelevant
40:28I don't feel like it was that big of a deal
40:30Based off of what I heard
40:32But I genuinely feel like
40:33We shouldn't tell Taylor anything at the moment
40:35Because Taylor's emotions are fragile
40:37And I just don't think that
40:38This is the best thing for her to hear
40:40Before the Bachelorette
40:41Macy and Mikayla
40:42You guys are up next
40:43You're going to play Jason Dakota
40:45You ready for this shit?
40:46Okay, let's do it
40:48You got it
40:50Nice Macy
40:51Oh, sorry dude
40:52I know I can't miss one ball
40:55Or else our team may go down
40:56I have to be the one to carry it
40:57But I played tennis
40:59So this is like second nature for me
41:00Let's just get this done
41:02Damn it
41:03Shit
41:03Damn it
41:04Go Macy
41:05Woo
41:06You got it
41:08Macy
41:08Macy
41:09I think Macy's strategy
41:11Is starting to make sense
41:12And that's for me
41:13To just sit back
41:14And let her take all the balls
41:16Just stay behind
41:17Get my back
41:17I'll just stand here
41:18In my mini skirt
41:19Looking good
41:22I wasn't even paying attention there
41:25Nice
41:26Damn it Macy
41:27Yep, we won
41:29Mom talk needs to bring home the win
41:30Because dad talk
41:32So bring it on little boys
41:35Okay, it is time for the championship round
41:38We have Jacob and Jordan
41:40Versus me and Mikayla
41:42Let's go boys
41:44Lord have mercy
41:55Go Macy's
42:00Woo
42:00Oh shoot
42:06Nice mix
42:07Damn it
42:09Okay, we got this in the bag
42:29Get your shirt back on
42:31This is way too much testosterone
42:33I'm out
42:33You guys
42:34I am ashamed
42:35We didn't take it home for mom talk
42:37Dad talk won
42:38And the reason why it hurts
42:39Is because the ego
42:40They just have such big egos
42:41Macy
42:42Look
42:44The one thing you've won in life Dakota
42:47Yeah, it's a joke
42:48And I shouldn't have lost
42:49That's hilarious
42:50That was depressing
43:10Zach and I are starting to question
43:13What's next for us
43:14I'm starting to ask myself
43:16What do I want?
43:17What do we both want?
43:19Do I want to stay in LA?
43:20Do I want to move back to Utah?
43:21Am I going to continue going to the LDS church?
43:26How was today?
43:27It was tiring just with the kiddos
43:29Yeah, it can be a lot
43:31Yeah
43:31I don't know how we're doing this
43:33This is crazy
43:34What we're doing
43:36Having a family
43:37And also trying to pursue a career
43:38Is really, really tough
43:39Because it's almost like
43:41Someone has to
43:42Get the short end
43:43Someone has to get the short end
43:44And kind of sacrifice
43:46Their life or their goals
43:47Or their career
43:47At least for a period of time
43:49For the other person
43:50To thrive and do what they want to do
43:52So it's so hard to balance
43:53Like how do we find
43:54All of that
43:55And how do we both
43:56Like live our dreams
43:56But also give our kids
43:57What they deserve
43:58And how
43:59Do we also keep our marriage
44:00Healthy and happy
44:01But it's so hard
44:02To do all of it
44:03Like it's not possible
44:04Yeah
44:05Have you talked to Connor about it?
44:07Like how is he juggling?
44:09I mean if it tells you
44:10How he's doing
44:10He's trying to become a magician
44:11Isn't that funny?
44:13It's great
44:14It fits Connor perfectly
44:15Like he's trying to find himself
44:17And like
44:18I'm proud of him
44:19Like I was telling him today
44:20Like you've inspired me
44:21To like
44:21Try to figure out
44:22What I want to do
44:23Talking to Connor
44:24Definitely helped
44:25And you know
44:26Whether people think
44:26It's silly or not
44:27Like seeing Connor
44:28Pursue something
44:28That makes him happy
44:29Also has like
44:30Made me realize
44:30Like I need to not just
44:32Have this mindset
44:33Of like I'm surviving
44:33And like I'm taking care
44:34Of the kids
44:35For like a period of time
44:36This might last forever
44:37And so I think
44:38I need to find a way
44:39To find joy in this journey
44:41And find my own things
44:42And so Connor
44:42Kind of made me
44:43Want to like
44:44Try to go find my own thing
44:45And have some stuff
44:46Going for me as well
44:48Do you realistically see
44:49Us staying down here
44:52And somehow
44:54You know
44:55Supporting me
44:56And still my dreams
44:57And goals
44:57While trying to pursue yours
44:58I feel like our marriage
45:00Has matured
45:00And grown a ton
45:02But I have realized
45:04There's more
45:06Hard conversations
45:07That need to be had
45:07I think there's more therapy
45:08That we need to do
45:09I think there's
45:11Honestly like more
45:12More of a connection
45:13With God
45:14Because it's so easy
45:15To get lost
45:15I mean I think
45:17That's work
45:17That I'm 100%
45:18Willing to do
45:19And I hope
45:20We can do together
45:21Like I wouldn't want
45:22You to turn down
45:24Opportunities
45:25Because of like
45:26My insecurities
45:27Like I want to do
45:28The work
45:28So like we can
45:29Both do all the things
45:30We want to do
45:32While still making it work
45:34Well thank you
45:35For supporting me
45:36And all my
45:36I genuinely can't
45:38Tell you like
45:39How grateful
45:40I am for you
45:40In this season of life
45:42I know this is not
45:43What you expected
45:44And I know it's been
45:45Challenging for you
45:46But like honestly
45:47Like I think there
45:49Have been moments
45:49In our marriage
45:50Where I've been like
45:51I don't know
45:51If this is going to work
45:52And honestly
45:54Like this stage of life
45:55Is just reconfirmed
45:57For me
45:57Just like
45:58How much you actually care
45:59And how much
46:00You love me
46:02And I just wanted
46:03To let you know
46:05Well thank you
46:08I still question
46:09If I'm doing
46:10The right thing
46:11And I can't help
46:12But feel like
46:13A lot of guilt
46:14And shame
46:14Trying to pursue
46:15My career
46:16I know you're so tired
46:17I worry
46:18If Zach's truly
46:19Going to be fulfilled
46:20And happy
46:21In our marriage
46:21Or would he be happier
46:23With a traditional wife
46:24I don't know
46:25I guess we just have to
46:27Take one step at a time
46:28Take one step at a time
46:40That feels good
46:41It's nice and warm
46:42Toasty
46:42I know
46:43It's cold here
46:43And cloudy
46:44It is
46:45Huh
46:45What's up with
46:45The weather
46:46At least public
46:47Will be nice
46:47Huh
46:48Yep
46:48Hopefully
46:49My mom and I
46:50Just got into Colorado
46:51And my biological dad's
46:53Family is not
46:54Super comfortable
46:55With wanting
46:56To be on camera
46:57And give us
46:58Answers
46:59And you don't
47:00Talk about this at all
47:01To be honest
47:02However
47:02We found someone
47:03That does want to
47:04And we are
47:05Meeting up with
47:06My biological dad's
47:08Best friend
47:08Have you talked to
47:10Steve like
47:11No
47:12His friends
47:12No
47:13No
47:13If you want
47:14I can call him
47:15Right now
47:15We can ask him
47:16If he's down to meet up
47:17Maybe we can go meet him
47:18He probably knows him
47:19Better than anybody
47:20Because they've been
47:20Friends for so long
47:21I think up until he passed
47:22So I'm really hoping
47:24To get as many answers
47:26As I can through him
47:28When's left from you
47:29Sean
47:29It was Steve
47:30A long time ago
47:31Do you know
47:32What he looks like
47:33Yeah
47:33You do
47:34Yeah I'm on Facebook
47:35Friends with him
47:37Did you ever like him
47:38We went out
47:39You did
47:40Yeah
47:40Like you dated him
47:41Yeah he was like
47:42My he was like
47:43So called boyfriend
47:44For like 30 days
47:45Or I don't know
47:46Wait what
47:46No maybe like
47:48Two weeks
47:48Wait so you dated
47:49Best friends
47:50No that was before
47:52I dated Brian
47:53I know but like
47:54They were best friends
47:55So you dated him after
47:56Oh yeah
47:59Homie hopper
47:59That's what they call it
48:00Yeah
48:01Being back in Colorado
48:03Definitely is giving me
48:05More anxiety
48:06About meeting with
48:08Steve
48:09Brian's best friend
48:10Bringing up all these
48:12Emotions that I have
48:13Put in the back
48:14Of my life
48:14And something that
48:15I just don't want to
48:17Have to bring up again
48:18It's just overwhelming
48:20How is Jesse and Jordan
48:22Doing
48:23Is their relationship
48:24Any better
48:25No
48:26No
48:26I think
48:27No I think
48:28She ends up leaving
48:28You do
48:29Yeah
48:30I don't know
48:31I probably still do that
48:31I don't know
48:32That's sad though
48:33I like Jordan
48:35Ew
48:35Why
48:36I just do
48:37He's like Dakota
48:39All they do is lie
48:40And play telephone
48:40It's weird
48:41They tell everyone everything
48:43And then they like
48:43Twist it
48:44It's weird shit
48:44And him and Dakota
48:45It's hard when you hear things
48:47Cause it's like
48:47They're both flyers
48:48So now it's not
48:48You don't even know
48:49Which one
48:49It's like
48:50We don't need to talk
48:51About that
48:51That's like
48:52I want to get over that
48:53I do not want to talk
48:54About Dakota right now
48:56Because she goes
48:57From zero to 100
48:59And she gets really upset
49:01And then it gets me upset
49:03And it's just not good
49:04For anybody
49:04And especially to bring up
49:06When we're going to meet
49:08Steve
49:09All you do is deflect
49:10You deflect
49:11And I think it's weird
49:12That if he does all this stuff
49:14That you kept going
49:15Back and forth with him
49:16And sleeping with him
49:16And you don't listen
49:17Everyone say it to me
49:18Because it's a cycle
49:19How many times
49:20Have we gone over this
49:20I've already explained that to you
49:22Why are you asking me that right now
49:23My mom triggers me
49:25Because it's what she says
49:26How she says it
49:27Her face
49:27The approach
49:28Cause she's so judgmental
49:29About Dakota
49:30So it's like
49:31You're not getting it
49:32You're not getting it
49:33And honestly
49:34The apple doesn't fall
49:35Far from three
49:37I already told you
49:38I didn't think it was
49:39I didn't care if he
49:40Lied
49:41Dated
49:41If he lied
49:42When you first dated him
49:44I already told you that
49:46500 times
49:46Why
49:47How do you not get it
49:48This is not how I wanted
49:50The trip to start
49:52Taylor has so much resentment
49:54And anger built up
49:56With Dakota
49:57And I don't understand
49:59Why I get to be the person
50:01That she always takes it out on
50:03I already told you
50:05I already told you where I felt
50:05Those were my feelings
50:07I didn't care
50:08You didn't care
50:08Good to know
50:10No
50:10I didn't care
50:11That he dated other girls
50:13When you first dated
50:14For the first three months
50:16It's the fucking lies
50:17The whole time
50:18I don't care
50:19Yeah
50:19I cared about this
50:20I cared about that
50:22I cared about that
50:23Later on
50:23Why didn't you ask him then
50:24Why did you lie to our daughter
50:26For two years
50:26You disgusting human
50:27Why didn't you ask him
50:28We didn't know he lied
50:29All that time
50:30We knew that he lied
50:31When he first dated you
50:32And you told us
50:33We found out
50:34That day
50:35That week
50:36Stop yelling
50:36No you can't fucking talk
50:37Listen
50:38No stop yelling
50:39You're a fucking mom
50:40I don't care
50:41You're a fucking mom
50:41Stop yelling
50:42Stop yelling
50:44Oh my god
50:45Oh my god
50:46You don't need to raise your voice
50:47Yes I do
50:47Talk regular
50:48Why can't you
50:49I am
50:49I'm not talking this loud
50:52Yes you are
50:52No I'm not
50:53Stop talking and listen
50:54That is very frustrating
50:57The one person
50:58That's supposed to be
50:59Therefore screaming at me
51:00I feel like I definitely
51:01Don't want to be here
51:02And emotionally drained too
51:03So like I don't want to hear it
51:05I do want to just
51:06Maybe be left alone
51:07Oh you're child
51:08You are
51:09God damn
51:09God damn
51:16I have a meeting
51:17Lined up with Ford
51:18Are you serious?
51:19Layla
51:19Nice to meet you
51:20All these girls
51:21Are getting such cool opportunities
51:23Like he's excited that
51:24I get my chance now
51:26We came all this way
51:28You want to know
51:29Who your biological dad is
51:31Taylor's dad
51:32And Dakota
51:33Are very similar
51:34I chose not to go with him
51:36Because of you
51:37How do you talk to Dakota lately?
51:39He did tell me
51:39He's seeing somebody
51:40Do I know her?
51:41Yeah
51:41And he won't tell you
51:42Who it is?
51:43He's being weird about it
51:45We are 100%
51:45Going to get to the bottom of it
51:46Who is it?
51:47Who is it?
51:48I'm not
51:48Must be someone
51:50Consequential then
51:51I've been playing a little bit with fire
51:53Dakota that's so bad
51:54I just
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