Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 15 hours ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:08Happy holidays, boys! It's time for your yearly performance review.
00:13First off, Pim and Charlie, you guys made 126 people smile this year.
00:18That's seven more than last year. That's pretty good.
00:22Yes! How wondrous!
00:24Yeah, that was mostly me, but that's pretty cool.
00:26And Alan, you've done stuff too, right? Emails, documents, and... great job, man.
00:33Thank you, Mastor.
00:35And Glep. Oh, looks like he's not here. Well, I'm sure he's off working on some really important stuff.
00:44What is Glep's job, exactly?
00:47Uh, well, he's the... the... well, he does a lot of work, right?
00:54I don't know. I mean, whenever I see him, he's just on his iPad playing games and watching movies.
00:58Yeah, I thought that was his job or something. I was kind of always unsure.
01:02What? So he just does nothing all day?
01:06Yeah, but I mean, I thought you knew that. Like, I mean, you've seen him sitting on the beanbag before,
01:10right?
01:11I... I just thought he was taking breaks from working so hard.
01:14Nope. The lazy bastard doesn't do anything.
01:17Fuck, man! What the fuck? This needs to change. Where is he?
01:27Yo, Glep.
01:29Huh?
01:30What do you actually do around here, man?
01:32Uh, what do you...
01:33No, I'm not being funny right now, man. Like, like, what do you do at this company? Can you name
01:37one thing?
01:38What do you do here? Name one. One thing.
01:43Why did I even hire you in the first place, man?
01:50Oh, you quit? You can't quit because you're fired!
01:54Get out! Get out! Get out!
01:58Well, that sucked.
02:00All right, I'm going to go take a dump.
02:07Oh, Paul Glep.
02:09Yeah. It's going to be weird, the group chat now.
02:12Oh, yeah. We should kick him.
02:14Sorry, which group chat is that?
02:16Oh, yeah, it's just like a stupid group chat we do where it's like we just...
02:20It's not even that good. It's like we just send funny stuff and making sure they laugh.
02:23But, yeah, it's not even...
02:24It sucks. It's not even good.
02:36Glep, you spend too much time at work and give me no attention and it make me sad.
02:41I'm going back to my home country for the holidays.
02:44It's good.
02:46It's good.
02:51In other news, there were 50 stabbings today.
02:54I'm sleeping with my sister.
02:59Drop it! Drop it!
03:00Drop it!
03:21What can I get for you?
03:24Sure, can I see some ID?
03:30Goddamn, man. You was born in 329 AD?
03:34You must have seen some crazy fucking crap in your time, dude.
03:48Sir, this thing was caught stealing apples from the apple market.
03:52Hmm, an interesting little critter.
03:55Sir, why should I not kill you now?
04:02What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life!
04:06I hate that! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
04:09I'm going insane!
04:10Oh, my God. The Emperor is dead.
04:15What do we do now?
04:22Oh, no! Bavarians!
04:28Hey, Red. You should probably leave.
04:39That's him right there! That's the witch! I saw him do a magic spell and turn milk into yoghurt!
04:45That's for us! Kill him! Kill him!
04:49Oh, yeah, dude!
04:50Any last words, witch?
04:52Any last words, witch?
04:53This is my fire!
04:54Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.
05:01Yeah...
05:06Yeah...
05:07Yela?
05:14Dude, dude, oh my god, man, it was so funny.
05:18What was it, like 10 or 20 British dudes or something like that?
05:20Yeah, yeah, dude.
05:21And they came and they fucking, oh my god, man.
05:24And when they say to me, like, oh, where's my tea?
05:27Or some shit like that, I was like, um, how about now?
05:32It was so good.
05:33It was so funny, man.
05:35Yeah, I remember when he hit the fucking thing with the thing.
05:37Yeah, yeah, that was so funny.
05:40That was so funny.
05:49Okay.
05:53Who invited him again?
05:55I think it was Ben.
06:01Anyway, I think I might call it, actually.
06:03I'm getting pretty sleepy.
06:04All right.
06:04Yeah, I think it's time.
06:06Same.
06:06All right, see you later.
06:11Wow, that's crazy.
06:14So, you're saying you went to space?
06:17No, he didn't say anything like that.
06:18I don't think you were listening.
06:20What he was saying is he's been around for centuries and he's never been able to fit in anywhere.
06:24Wait up, man.
06:25What the fuck?
06:25You started the bubonic plague?
06:27Huh?
06:28You think that's funny?
06:29What the fuck, man?
06:30Fuck you.
06:31You're a sick fuck, man.
06:32Look, I liked your story, but I think it's best if you leave.
06:37Yeah, that's right.
06:38Leave, motherfucker.
06:40Plague starter.
06:40Go to hell, dude.
06:42Fuck you.
06:43Guys, come on.
06:44Can we all say a prayer for the victims of the plague, please?
06:46Yes.
06:49Heavenly Father, we ask for your mercy and grace for the 25 million plague victims.
07:19Oh, you're new here.
07:23Well, guess what, kid?
07:24Nobody gives a damn.
07:25This city will chew you up and spit you out.
07:29I just lost everything in a goddamn market crash.
07:33I'm so fucked.
07:37Oh, okay.
07:38It's going to be fine?
07:39Awesome.
07:41Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the trigger.
07:54You just made me smile, even though my life is terrible.
07:58Wait, that's it.
07:59This is my next business idea.
08:01Making people smile.
08:02We can start a business that does exactly that.
08:05What do you say?
08:07Yeah.
08:24Yo, hey, Glep.
08:27Look, uh, I may have gone a little too far when I fired you.
08:33I was thinking why we started this business in the first place, and it was because of you, man.
08:37If you want to sit on the beanbag and do nothing, that's fine with me.
08:41That's who you are and why you're so freaking cool, Glep.
08:46No need to apologize, man.
08:49Want to come back?
08:51Yeah.
08:52Yippee!
08:54Hooray!
08:57Thanks, everyone, for coming to the supper room for Christmas dinner.
09:00Gotta use this room more often.
09:03Father, may I have some peas, please?
09:06Yes, you may, son.
09:07Thank you for asking me nicely.
09:11Mmm, nutritious.
09:14Wow, you grew up so fast.
09:16So do you still run around a lot at home and stuff like that?
09:19No, I haven't run around in a while.
09:21I just do crypto stuff now.
09:23Oh, cool.
09:25You have gravy all over your face.
09:26Hey, don't touch me.
09:28Don't ever touch me.
09:30Oh, Glep, I'm so sorry we had that horrible fight.
09:34To make it up to you, I made the dish of my home country.
09:37This part is a miracle.
09:40So despite being a weird little green freak that no one understands,
09:44Glep finally figured out where he belongs.
09:46Which just goes to show that no matter how different we all are,
09:50everyone can get along with each other.
09:53Except for a certain group of people.
09:56You know who I'm talking about.
09:59Excuse me?
10:02What?
10:02What did you just say?
10:04I was just wrapping up the episode, you know?
10:07You said something about a certain group of people.
10:10Which group were you talking about?
10:11It was a joke, but it didn't land as much as I thought.
10:13But it doesn't matter.
10:14I guess, you know, whatever.
10:16Whatever.
10:18But I'm just curious, you're not going to say what group it was?
10:23You don't want to say which group?
10:24It was the group that was supposed to be a mind experiment.
10:28Whoever came to your mind.
10:30But it was a joke.
10:31It doesn't matter.
10:31It didn't land as much as I thought.
10:33Just say the group, dude.
10:34Just say what the group is.
10:35Sorry, I'm with Charlie here, and we don't even know who you are.
10:38Who are you?
10:39Yeah.
10:39How did you get in here?
10:40This is a private event.
10:58We ask that you bring them to greener pastures and help them gain way through the pearly gates
11:05and into an eternal life of bliss and love.
11:08In Jesus' name.
11:10Amen.
11:11Bye.
11:12Have a great night.
11:13Goblin Conan Pike.
Comments

Recommended