- 16 hours ago
The Last Leg - Season 34 Episode 9
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00:02One of the girls,
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves,
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself,
00:09These simple lines be good for your health,
00:11To keep them trying rhymes on the shelf,
00:13Live my life like you just don't care,
00:165,000 leaders never scared,
00:18Framing noise is the moment they fear,
00:20Get up, you still appear for I do,
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air,
00:25Get up, and shoot me,
00:27Get up, and shoot me,
00:28Get up, and shoot me,
00:31Get up, and shoot me,
00:32Get up, and shoot me,
00:36Take some government advice,
00:39Sit the family down,
00:40And get ready for your daily hour of screen time,
00:42It's Friday, we're live,
00:43And it's time for The Last Leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we focus on Iran,
00:50Give social media the side eye,
00:52And zoom in on some disability sport.
00:55Plus we'll be joined by singer Charlotte Church,
00:57And comedian Nabil Abdul-Rashid,
00:59On the show that always takes a stern look at the news.
01:11G'day!
01:14Hello!
01:15Wow!
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills.
01:20Welcome to The Last Leg,
01:21The show that heard the owner of OnlyFans had died,
01:23And thought, I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin.
01:27With me as always with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe,
01:30And the man who thought crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin,
01:32Alex Brooker!
01:40Loads to get through tonight,
01:41Loads to get through tonight,
01:42But something happened to me during the week,
01:43That I wanted to bring up,
01:44Because I know it's happened to Alex as well,
01:46In a similar way.
01:47So I was,
01:47I was walking to tennis,
01:49I was in a pair of shorts,
01:50I had my prosthesis on,
01:52I had it taped up,
01:53Because,
01:55Look,
01:55It comes undone,
01:56When I'm playing,
01:57So I have to tape it up.
01:58I'll keep saying to you mate,
01:59You've got to get a new leg.
02:01Look,
02:02I like this one,
02:03It's comfy in it.
02:04Ditto,
02:04I like mine as well.
02:06So,
02:06As I was walking,
02:07This woman walked past me,
02:08And she looked down,
02:09And she saw my prosthetic leg,
02:11And then she looked up at me as she kept walking,
02:13And went,
02:13Ooh,
02:14Ouch!
02:19And she,
02:19She went so quickly that I didn't have time to go,
02:21It's,
02:23What a weird thing to say!
02:25Imagine if she's seen Brooker,
02:27Ouch!
02:27Ouch!
02:28Ouch!
02:30She's there like,
02:31E.T. with a little light up thing.
02:33Ouch!
02:34But when you first told us that,
02:36So you said,
02:36A woman walked past,
02:37Saw you in your tennis gear.
02:38Yeah.
02:39And said,
02:39Ouch!
02:39I thought she was like the fashion police.
02:42And she was like,
02:42Ouch!
02:43Ouch!
02:44But I've,
02:45You know what,
02:46I've had it before,
02:46So I was,
02:47In my shorts,
02:49And I was in,
02:50Supermarket,
02:51And the geezer kept looking down,
02:52And you know when someone's looking at you go,
02:53They're going to say something,
02:54Yeah.
02:55In a minute.
02:55And he just went,
02:56So,
02:58What happened there?
02:59And I was like,
03:00Oh well,
03:01You know,
03:01I had to have my foot amputated when I was a baby,
03:03Because I didn't have one of the bones in the,
03:04In my lower leg,
03:06So then I had to make the decision to amputate my foot,
03:08So that's why I've got,
03:09A prosthetic leg.
03:10And he just went,
03:12Well I hope it gets better.
03:24You know,
03:24You must have had people wish,
03:26Wish for you to get better.
03:29Yeah,
03:29No,
03:29I used to only have one leg,
03:30But it grew back.
03:33You had that recently in the gym, right?
03:35Oh yes,
03:35I was in the gym,
03:36I was in the gym last week,
03:37And I had my shorts on,
03:39And I was on the exercise bike,
03:40And he kept looking down,
03:41On my leg,
03:42And I'm used to people like,
03:43I don't mind,
03:44People do a double take,
03:45Especially in the gym.
03:46I don't mind it.
03:47I think they,
03:47I imagine they're kind of looking just going,
03:49Bloody hell,
03:49He's done more than skip leg day.
03:50But he was like looking,
03:51He was looking down at my leg,
03:53And he kept looking at the lower part of it,
03:55And I was thinking,
03:55This is really weird.
03:56Then I got home,
03:57And I got in the shower,
03:59Took the leg off,
03:59And what I'd forgotten,
04:01Is that,
04:02The other week,
04:02I'd let my eldest decorate the leg,
04:04With capybara stickers,
04:06They're called an arrow,
04:07So I have stickers,
04:08All over my leg,
04:10Including one that just says love,
04:12Ah,
04:13Which Josh put on there,
04:14Which was lovely actually,
04:15But yeah,
04:16It's fine,
04:16You know what,
04:16When you lifted your leg,
04:17Or your trousers up,
04:18The only thing I thought was,
04:19Ouch!
04:22It's fine,
04:23It's fine now,
04:23My daughter's into capybara,
04:25So tell you what,
04:26When she was into,
04:27Sabrina Carpenter,
04:28And put them stickers on,
04:28I just looked like a pervert,
04:29So,
04:32I'm going to say a sentence,
04:33Now that I've never said before,
04:34On this show,
04:34And I never thought I would,
04:36In other capybara news,
04:39A rogue capybara,
04:41Escaped from Marwell Zoo,
04:42Last week,
04:42And has been spotted,
04:43Across Hampshire,
04:44On the banks of the river itchin,
04:46And at a pub quiz,
04:50I don't know who that hairy guy was,
04:52But he was great,
04:52On South American geography,
04:55And,
04:55Miss Brooker,
04:57This surprising video,
04:58Is taken of the rodent,
04:59On the banks of a river,
05:00Watch the video,
05:01But also listen out,
05:02For the name of the woman's dog,
05:08Growler,
05:09Growler,
05:10Oh it's a hot deer,
05:11No growler wait,
05:16Growler!
05:23What in hell is that?
05:28Who calls the dog Growler?
05:32Is that this year's Fenton?
05:34Yeah,
05:35I'm not,
05:35I'm not sure,
05:36Kind of naming your dog,
05:37After slang terms,
05:38For private parts,
05:39Is a,
05:40Anyway,
05:41This is my sausage dog,
05:42Schlong,
05:44Minge,
05:45Minge,
05:45Here Minge,
05:49Torture,
05:49Torture,
05:52Faps!
05:56Sorry,
05:57I've always wanted to shout that on TV,
05:58I can't believe I said the word,
06:00First of all I said the word minge on television,
06:03You,
06:04And let's hope the last,
06:07Alex actually met a capybara recently,
06:09And this,
06:09We're not making this up,
06:10No I didn't know,
06:11Have a look to you, a bit wanted to do it.
06:14He told himself, I'll come over and see this little weird thing
06:16with funny little paws.
06:17But, yeah, these are, no, but you didn't realise
06:19these Capybara stickers are like Starbucks.
06:21If you get 10, you get to get one, so.
06:25We are live on your telly right now,
06:27so feel free to ask us any questions about the news.
06:29Message us on Instagram, the hashtags, is it okay?
06:31WhatsApp, the number is 07956175908,
06:34or you can scan the QR code on your screen.
06:37Crispin Fisher just messaged in, I mean, how's this for topical?
06:40Is it okay? Will Tiger Woods soon be looking for a new driver?
06:45Let's get into the big story now, and, um, you know what?
06:48We all wondered what World War III was going to look like.
06:51Turns out it's a lot more ridiculous
06:53than any of us would have predicted.
06:55In the last 24 hours, Donald Trump has described
06:58the British Navy as toys, said Iran had been beat to shit,
07:02and, I'm not making this up, implied that the new Ayatollah was gay.
07:07He sounds like Jay from the Inbetweeners.
07:13But the biggest, though, generally, if, like, one of your mates
07:16came out with all of that stuff in the pub,
07:18he'd go, do you know what, mate, shall we get you home?
07:20Yeah.
07:21Were not your witch of Trump statements prompted
07:23the CIA director John Ratcliffe to adopt this relatable pose?
07:28Oh, I thought they were just playing hide-and-seek.
07:33He's saying, can't he?
07:3499, 100.
07:36Donald's hiding the one place you wouldn't expect,
07:38Melania's bedroom.
07:42Do you think Donald Trump...
07:44You know when you play hide-and-seek with a kid?
07:46Yeah.
07:46With Donald Trump, it's the same.
07:48You walk in, and you can see him poking out,
07:51but you have to pretend you can't see him.
07:55Trump also rambled at length about his love of Sharpie pens,
07:58for some reason,
07:59before then owning himself in this less-than-humble brag.
08:03I'm the only president that ever took a cognitive test.
08:07I took it three times.
08:09It's actually a very hard test for a lot of people.
08:11It wasn't hard for me, but it's a cognitive test.
08:14It starts off with an easy question,
08:17and by the time you get to the middle, it gets severed.
08:19By the time you get to the end,
08:21very few people can answer those questions.
08:22You get very tough, mathematical equations and things.
08:26I took it three times.
08:28I aced it all three times,
08:30in front of numerous doctors that I have no idea who they are.
08:36Why is he doing it again?
08:38If he's acing it, they're going,
08:40bloody hell, that was good.
08:41I've got to see you do it again.
08:44I think he passes it, goes out,
08:46gives another press conference,
08:47and they go in there and go,
08:48do you know what, I think this fucking computer won't work.
08:51If you have to take any test a multiple number of times,
08:54that's not a good thing.
08:56I don't want to get into a cab with a driver who's gone,
08:58you know what, I've taken the driving test nine times.
09:03Going home with someone, and they're like,
09:05do you know what, I've been tested for syphilis four times.
09:12I think we're okay.
09:13Look, there has been a lot of back and forward this week.
09:16In fact, the whole thing has been very,
09:17he said, she I said.
09:21That's lovely.
09:23Trump repeatedly said Iran are, quote,
09:25begging for a deal,
09:26but they say that's not true.
09:28And look, let's face it,
09:29it's probably not the first time
09:30Trump's assumed someone was begging for it
09:32when they absolutely weren't.
09:35This Week in Iranian Spokesman.
09:37Yeah, yeah.
09:45Yeah, repost that one, you orange furball.
09:50This Week in Iranian Spokesman explained the situation
09:53in a way that made it sound less like a geopolitical confrontation
09:56and more like a high school spat.
09:59Our American counterparts have begun sending messages
10:02through others,
10:03other countries that are our friends.
10:06If there are messages through others
10:07to which we respond with our own position and demands,
10:10that is not called conversation
10:12nor negotiation or anything.
10:14This is simply sending messages through others.
10:17It's like the political equivalent of saying,
10:19if you've got something to say to me,
10:21say it to my face.
10:23Today, the US bombed two nuclear-related facilities
10:25to which Iran said,
10:26but we were on a break.
10:29The only time you ever, like, pass messages to someone,
10:32like, through their friends,
10:33is that when you're at school,
10:35when you fancy someone.
10:36Yeah.
10:36Speaking of which,
10:37Adam, can you just come over here a second?
10:40Do you mind?
10:41Sorry.
10:42Can you, um...
10:44Can you just give this to Josh for my place?
10:46LAUGHTER
10:47LAUGHTER
10:51Not with a Capybara involved, no.
11:05Don't worry, you can't catch it.
11:07I've been telling you for 14 years.
11:09I've been tested four times.
11:14APPLAUSE
11:18At one point this week,
11:19Donald Trump said he was working with the Ayatollah,
11:21but that's the same guy whose father Trump killed
11:23and who may or may not be in a coma.
11:26So he's either angry or sleepy.
11:28But I don't...
11:29I don't know what's going to go if he's in a coma.
11:30They're going to be operating him like Weekend at Bernie's.
11:34LAUGHTER
11:35Look, it's not...
11:36It's on a Zoom call, moving his jaw up and down.
11:38It's not surprising Iran were a little bit confused by it all.
11:41This week, Donald Trump presented them with a 15-point plan,
11:44but check out the specifics in this vague clip.
11:4815 points.
11:49The Iran has said yes.
11:50Well, they're not going to have a nuclear weapon.
11:52That's number one.
11:53That's number one, two, and three.
11:54They will never have a nuclear weapon.
11:58LAUGHTER
11:58LAUGHTER
12:01You can't just repeat the first three points over again.
12:05It's not the rules of Fight Club.
12:07LAUGHTER
12:07What are rules 4 through 15?
12:09What did I just say?
12:11Everyone thinks...
12:12Sorry.
12:13No, you carry on.
12:13Well, everyone thinks that the reason why they're not agreeing to it
12:15is because it's the nuclear weapons,
12:17and that's the sticking point.
12:18But it's not.
12:19It's because I found out that the US are asking,
12:22in those 15 points,
12:23they're asking Iran to do things that are impossible for them to do.
12:26Like, point 6 is eat a donut without licking your lips,
12:29and they're just...
12:31LAUGHTER
12:31LAUGHTER
12:32Point 7 is find a word that rhymes with orange.
12:34And they're like, look, we'll give you the nucleus, but...
12:36LAUGHTER
12:37LAUGHTER
12:38So 1, 2, 3 are...
12:41And then 1, 2, 3, 4 is I declare a thumb war.
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45LAUGHTER
12:46And then 5, 6, 7, 8 is who do we appreciate?
12:49LAUGHTER
12:50Look, the main thing is,
12:51Iran already agreed not to have a nuclear weapon
12:53before this war began.
12:54In fact, the entire plan that was put forward this week
12:57seems to be from May 2025.
13:00The giveaway is that it contains references to the Hawke tour girl.
13:04LAUGHTER
13:04Point 7 is you have to watch adolescence.
13:07LAUGHTER
13:09Uh, no, I just think that it's, um...
13:14LAUGHTER
13:14I don't...
13:14I forgot what I was going to say.
13:16Yeah, no, no, no.
13:17Do you know what?
13:18I was thinking about...
13:19I was thinking, is the Hawke tour girl last year?
13:21LAUGHTER
13:21Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:23What's amazing is...
13:24Point 12 is, you've got to listen to Lily Allen's new album.
13:27LAUGHTER
13:27What's incredible is you aced your cognitive test four times.
13:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did, yeah.
13:31Yeah.
13:32And I won the thumb war.
13:35LAUGHTER
13:38Donald Trump thanked Iran for giving the US, quote,
13:40a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money.
13:43And everyone was, like, wondering what this amazing gift was going to be.
13:46It turned out it was allowing eight ships through the Strait of Hormuz.
13:50Eight.
13:51Before the war, there were 138 ships a day going through that strait.
13:54That's not much of a gift.
13:56If this was love, actually, Donald Trump just got the Joni Mitchell CD.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:02Thankfully, the British ship HMS Dragon finally arrived in Cyprus this week,
14:05four weeks after the war began.
14:06More like dragging your heels, am I right?
14:09Oh, there we go.
14:10And just when you thought the British Navy couldn't look more embarrassing,
14:12this week they had to borrow a ship from Germany
14:15to fulfil their obligations in the Atlantic Ocean.
14:18How's that working, like, borrowing...
14:20borrowing a ship off someone to take to war?
14:22Yeah.
14:22Like, is Keir Starmer having to go around the ship with a German,
14:25like, with a diagram, just marking off where the dents already are?
14:30LAUGHTER
14:31Now, there's a scratch on the starboard side there, Keir.
14:33Just, yeah.
14:34The captain gets in and the seat's really far back.
14:37LAUGHTER
14:38The last thing he heard was,
14:39make sure you return it with a full tank.
14:42LAUGHTER
14:43LAUGHTER
14:44So, look, as the ceasefire is extended
14:46and the world speculates as to how Donald Trump is behaving,
14:48we think we've found a pattern of bullshit, OK?
14:51Now...
14:53There's an acronym being used
14:54to describe Donald Trump's way of operating,
14:56and it's TACO.
14:57Trump always chickens out.
15:00But we think something else is going on,
15:02and I think Donald Trump's hairstyle is the key to all this.
15:06LAUGHTER
15:08Now, Donald Trump likes to charge into things headfirst,
15:12but it doesn't always work out.
15:14Take Iran, for example.
15:15This is a map, a vague map,
15:17of the Strait of Hormuz, OK?
15:20OK, can you tell what it is yet?
15:23LAUGHTER
15:27LAUGHTER
15:27LAUGHTER
15:29LAUGHTER
15:30LAUGHTER
15:31APPLAUSE
15:32APPLAUSE
15:34Now, Donald Trump attacked these guys,
15:38who then attacked all of these guys.
15:40They then blocked all of this up,
15:41stopping the oil coming from over here.
15:43As you can see, he's made an absolute mess of it.
15:47So, what does Donald Trump do?
15:50LAUGHTER
15:52LAUGHTER
15:53APPLAUSE
15:56He just brushes over it with claims of a peace deal
15:58that may or may not exist.
16:00All he needs is a sympathetic media
16:01to create a smoke screen and hold it in place.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05Oh, that's fucking real.
16:07LAUGHTER
16:09LAUGHTER
16:09The hair?
16:10LAUGHTER
16:10I mean, it doesn't look unlike my hair now, does it?
16:13Let's be honest.
16:15But this isn't the first time Donald Trump has done this.
16:17Have a look at Stormy Daniels.
16:19LAUGHTER
16:19Trump's lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
16:23for her to keep quiet about allegations of an affair with Trump,
16:27which he denied.
16:30LAUGHTER
16:35How about Trump University, set up in 2004?
16:40It didn't actually confer grades or degrees
16:42and was the subject of a number of lawsuits.
16:45But three of those lawsuits,
16:47Donald Trump settled out of court for $25 million.
16:53Then, there was Trump's stakes.
16:57LAUGHTER
16:58That's in my eyes!
17:07That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:07And Trump's shuttle,
17:09an airline that went under, ironically,
17:11partly due to a spike in fuel prices during the Gulf War.
17:15LAUGHTER
17:17That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:21Donald Trump has spent his entire life
17:23running headfirst into things,
17:25making an absolute mess
17:26and then somehow managing to cover it all up,
17:28which means TARCO doesn't stand for
17:31Trump always chickens out,
17:32it actually stands for
17:33Trump always combs over.
17:36LAUGHTER
17:38APPLAUSE
17:47And there you have it.
17:49Male, pattern, bullshit.
17:51LAUGHTER
17:53APPLAUSE
17:58All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
17:59She's a singer who hosts Dreaming Retreats in the Woods.
18:01He's a comedian who has a purple belt in jiu-jitsu.
18:04She's a lover and he's a fighter.
18:06It's Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
18:12APPLAUSE
18:33Charlotte, what do you make of the world at the moment?
18:37That can be an answer.
18:39LAUGHTER
18:39What do I make of the world?
18:41I mean, I think that we wouldn't be in this pickle
18:46if there were far more women in power
18:48all the way throughout the system.
18:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:54And, yeah, yeah, I think really
18:57the longer the short of it is male egos.
19:06No argument here.
19:08No argument here.
19:10Nabeel, what have you made of Iran and Trump and all of it?
19:14Well, far be it from me to regurgitate
19:17crazy right-wing conspiracy theories, but...
19:21LAUGHTER
19:29I have to close off my chakras.
19:31Now, it's all the less fault.
19:34You see, what happened is, Donald Trump...
19:36Follow me now.
19:36Donald Trump was friends with Elon Musk, right?
19:39And they staged a breakup, but it was fake.
19:41And Elon Musk was known for selling what?
19:42Electric cars.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44That's right.
19:45Now, they fake that breakup.
19:47He then starts with what makes oil become expensive.
19:51Donald Trump has been radicalised by just stop oil.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:58Wow.
20:00LAUGHTER
20:01APPLAUSE
20:05And, I mean, further proof is this.
20:08What are they known for?
20:08They put orange paint on statues of leaders.
20:12LAUGHTER
20:13Stay woke, people!
20:15LAUGHTER
20:21Now, Charlotte, you were asked to sing
20:24at Donald Trump's inauguration.
20:26I was.
20:27And I know this, because in 2017, you tweeted, and I quote,
20:30Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
20:33A simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant.
20:36Bye.
20:38Four poo emojis.
20:40APPLAUSE
20:48Do you ever look back and think...
20:49Not enough poo emojis?
20:51LAUGHTER
20:52Yes, quite.
20:54Absolutely.
20:54Not enough poo emojis.
20:56There's not enough poo emojis in the world.
20:58LAUGHTER
20:58This week, Donald Trump's egomania reached new heights
21:01as a coin was approved with him on one side
21:03to mark America's 250th anniversary.
21:06This is what the brush on your coin reportedly looks like.
21:08LAUGHTER
21:10It looks like he's about to get a prostate exam.
21:13LAUGHTER
21:14Yeah, I've had three prostate exams and I aced them all.
21:19LAUGHTER
21:20APPLAUSE
21:23LAUGHTER
21:26With a whole bunch of people, I don't know who they were.
21:30LAUGHTER
21:31What's weird is, in America, although, look, there are exceptions,
21:34but it's generally illegal in America
21:36to have a living president on a coin.
21:39I mean, there's two ways of fixing that, right?
21:42LAUGHTER
21:43There are some arguments over how big the coin should be.
21:46Not surprisingly, Trump wants it to be as big as possible.
21:51So, bring in the coin!
21:54APPLAUSE
21:55LAUGHTER
22:02Now, this is the biggest one we can make.
22:04As you can see, this is the front,
22:05but every head needs a tail,
22:07so this is what the back looks like.
22:10LAUGHTER
22:12LAUGHTER
22:14APPLAUSE
22:17APPLAUSE
22:18APPLAUSE
22:25I'm pretty sure that's called butt-coin.
22:27LAUGHTER
22:28We'll have more last week for you after the break.
22:30We'll log out of Facebook and limit our screen time.
22:32See you in a little bit.
22:34APPLAUSE
22:48Welcome back to Last Leg.
22:50We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
22:52In tech news tonight, a woman in America
22:55has successfully sued Meta and YouTube
22:57over her childhood addiction to social media.
23:00Jurors found that both companies
23:02intentionally built addictive social media platforms
23:04that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
23:06How do we all feel about this?
23:08I'm pleased they've lost.
23:10I'm delighted they've lost.
23:11I think it's excellent news.
23:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:17APPLAUSE
23:17I genuinely...
23:19You actually sent me that in a Facebook message, didn't you?
23:21LAUGHTER
23:22So I think it's...
23:23I think, obviously, there's lots of positive things
23:26about social media.
23:27Yep.
23:27But I think it's not just that I think companies
23:32aren't interested in stopping people addicted to it.
23:35It is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it.
23:38Their whole raison d'etre is to get people on it
23:40for as long as possible.
23:41So everything they do on there is to get people addicted,
23:44to get people to keep going on it.
23:46Yep.
23:47And so I think it's obvious that they're doing that.
23:51APPLAUSE
23:54Michelle, I mean, you run retreats in the woods.
23:57This must be, like, perfect news for you.
23:59Yeah, I think it's really important.
24:01I mean, like, the scientific evidence is really...
24:05I mean, it's not just compelling,
24:08it's just completely self-evident at this juncture,
24:11the cognitive decline,
24:13the ways in which, like, young people's brains
24:15are growing differently because of addiction
24:18to social media and technology in general.
24:21And, look, this isn't to say, like,
24:23technology's not the bad thing.
24:24Technology's a tool and technology can do some amazing things.
24:28It's about the intention behind the technology
24:30and the people who have got control of the technology
24:33are horrific fascists.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:40And they are genuinely...
24:42Like, they are invested in us being, you know, captive,
24:49in so many ways.
24:51And our children being captive.
24:53So I believe, like, we can't wait for governments
24:58and nation-states to put in the legislation that protects us.
25:02I think we have to practise guardianship
25:04in our own households and families.
25:07APPLAUSE
25:09Yeah.
25:12Obviously, now it's been proved to be harmful.
25:14Yeah.
25:15Do you reckon they'll have warnings on it, like cigarettes?
25:17You just log on to Facebook,
25:19just see a photo of someone who's been catfished.
25:23Naveel, anything to add?
25:25It's almost like billionaires don't care about people.
25:28LAUGHTER
25:31APPLAUSE
25:34I...
25:35I have a restaurant policy when it comes to these things, right?
25:38So this is advice for you.
25:40If you go to a Nigerian restaurant or a Chinese restaurant
25:42or a Thai restaurant and there's no Nigerians,
25:44no Chinese, no Thai eating in there, don't eat there.
25:47So it's the same thing with these websites.
25:49The owner of TikTok doesn't let his children on TikTok.
25:51The fuck are you doing on TikTok?
25:54LAUGHTER
25:56APPLAUSE
25:59APPLAUSE
25:59APPLAUSE
26:00While we're talking social media,
26:01the thumbs-up emoji was voted this week
26:03as Britain's least favourite message icon.
26:06People said it's blunt, lazy and rude.
26:07Tell me about it.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:13LAUGHTER
26:13Fucking get rid of it.
26:15I don't think you should be allowed to do it in real life, either.
26:19Good question, what's everyone's most used emoji?
26:22I'm less of an emoji person.
26:24I'm a chronic voice noter.
26:26I know, which is Marmitey, isn't it?
26:29Some people are like, love...
26:30I think voice noting is a superior form of communication
26:34as to the humble text.
26:36Well, you're not just cool.
26:39LAUGHTER
26:40This is true.
26:41This is true.
26:41You raise a very good point.
26:42But also, my husband's, like, on at me often
26:46that my elongated, you know, sort of bambling voice notes
26:52are a little self-indulgent, so...
26:55How long's your longest voice note?
26:56I got one of eight minutes the other day.
26:58Oh!
26:59I'm not that bad.
27:00I mean, I think I generally keep it around three minutes longest.
27:04Oh, OK.
27:04I think that's all right.
27:05Yeah.
27:06I think that's all right.
27:06My favourite emoji is, uh, that...
27:09that guy?
27:10You know the big wide-mouthed guy?
27:15LAUGHTER
27:17You know the one.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21I mean, he's got a big wide mouth and he looks shocked.
27:25LAUGHTER
27:25Oh, yeah, OK, yeah.
27:26Do you know the one I mean?
27:27Yeah.
27:27That guy.
27:28LAUGHTER
27:29I'll tell you what, if we...
27:31I know, like, we've been going down on social media
27:33and technology, but if someone can please make that into a sticker.
27:36LAUGHTER
27:38You know what I mean?
27:39Like, when there's an awkward situation.
27:41That guy.
27:42Oh, the teeth one.
27:44That guy, yeah!
27:44Oh, the teeth one.
27:45What did you show your teeth in?
27:47LAUGHTER
27:49LAUGHTER
27:50Uh, meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate this week
27:53after releasing a wooden influencer kit aimed at toddlers.
27:57Um, we've got one here, it's for ages three and above.
28:00I'm going to set it up for you.
28:01There's a little tripod, uh, it comes with a ring light.
28:05Uh, it comes with a phone, uh, and a camera,
28:10and, uh, I guess that's, like, a little mini, uh, tablet of some sort.
28:13Oh, and a microphone.
28:14And a little microphone.
28:15What do we think?
28:17I think the audience seemed horrified.
28:19LAUGHTER
28:19I mean, where does...
28:20Like, I don't...
28:21I don't like that, but, like, where does it...
28:24Where does it stop?
28:25Like, my first OnlyFans kit?
28:26I mean...
28:28LAUGHTER
28:31Oh...
28:32Oh...
28:32Oh...
28:32Oh...
28:33Nah...
28:34Uh, the kid also comes with this adorable private plane,
28:37uh, to get you out of Dubai.
28:39LAUGHTER
28:42And look, we've decided to jump on board and make our own children's toy,
28:46uh, for kids who want to grow up to be on The Last Leg.
28:48Yeah, so we've made...
28:49No...
28:49So we've got...
28:50We've got our very own...
28:51Me and Josh are made of our very own, uh, Josh and Alex kits.
28:54So here we go.
28:55So I'm, uh, demonstrate...
28:56This is...
28:56This is to be your own very...
28:58We've got our own Josh Widdicombe.
28:59We've got the hair.
29:00We've got the glasses.
29:04LAUGHTER
29:04We've got the podcast mic.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:08LAUGHTER
29:09And we've got...
29:10Oh, now...
29:10Why have the boys had nail clippers in it?
29:12Just for...
29:12Well, cos I've got so many nails on my feet.
29:14Oh, right.
29:14And, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah.
29:16And your nails.
29:17You've got...
29:18Josh is modelling the...
29:18The Alex...
29:19This is the Alex one.
29:20So I've got the hair.
29:21Yeah, there you go.
29:21And then I've got the, uh, the mittens.
29:23Here you go.
29:24You've got the little Alex Brooker hands.
29:27LAUGHTER
29:27I'll tell you what.
29:29You wear them at Disney, you get to the front of the queue.
29:32And then...
29:32Look, look at this.
29:33Your very own slide-on prosthetic leg.
29:37LAUGHTER
29:38That's cool, isn't it?
29:39LAUGHTER
29:45Yeah, I, um...
29:47I'm gonna be honest.
29:47I think I took it in a slightly different direction.
29:49Uh...
29:50I've got my first...
29:51My first bone saw.
29:53LAUGHTER
29:55Uh...
29:55And then I've got some strawberry flavoured anaesthetic.
29:58LAUGHTER
29:58And a shitload of bandages.
29:59All in a little kit called, uh...
30:01The Last Leg Amputation Kit.
30:03So...
30:04LAUGHTER
30:05Yeah.
30:07APPLAUSE
30:10Kids at home, send in your videos.
30:12Let us know how you got on.
30:14LAUGHTER
30:14Uh, and look, let's do a bit of royal news now.
30:17The Sun this week said that the Duchess of York's Sarah Ferguson
30:19once met with an American production company
30:20to discuss taking part in a TV reality show
30:23in which she would create clones of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.
30:28Oh, I was worried that if she'd have taken it on,
30:30it would have gone well,
30:31then the idea would have been to clone Andrew.
30:34LAUGHTER
30:35And then the clone would go to prison.
30:38LAUGHTER
30:38Oh, that's clever.
30:39Do the jail time for him.
30:40What if that went wrong and she mistakenly cloned 100 Andrews?
30:43LAUGHTER
30:44That's the worst scenario.
30:46God, yeah.
30:46What would you rather fight?
30:47Like an Andrew made up of 100...
30:49Like a massive 100 Andrew-sized Andrew
30:51or 100 little Andrews?
30:53Are we stoned?
30:54I think so.
30:56LAUGHTER
30:58This did give Josh and Alex an idea for a game, though.
31:00Oh, yes.
31:01So...
31:01Yeah, it did.
31:03Now, cloning corgis.
31:04We were discussing this earlier this week
31:05and we said that the point is
31:07there's no point cloning a corgi
31:09because you can't tell them apart.
31:10All corgis look the same.
31:11Yeah.
31:12And I'm telling you now,
31:12if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me,
31:14I can tell any corgis apart easily,
31:16I'd have about £2.36 by now.
31:18So, we are going to put this to a test in a game.
31:21We are calling...
31:24Corgi eyes.
31:27I can't believe my corgi eyes.
31:36Yes!
31:38Welcome to our brand new game show.
31:41I can't believe my cor guys.
31:45So, this is a game the Queen herself used to regularly play
31:48in a drawing room, right?
31:49In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker over there...
31:52Yeah?
31:52And I are going to unveil nine pictures of corgis.
31:56OK?
31:57But eight of them are the same corgi.
32:01And one is a different corgi.
32:03Only...
32:04How do you find the different corgi?
32:07Basically, all you have to do is use the power
32:08of your own corgi eyes and tell us which is your one out.
32:12But before we start, I want to let you know
32:13this isn't just a silly game
32:15because we have a very important special prize on offer
32:18for you.
32:20This prize is worth winning if you don't live in a flat
32:23or have allergies.
32:24Right.
32:25Let's uncover the corgis.
32:28OK, so...
32:28There's corg A.
32:31Corg A.
32:32Corg B.
32:35Here's corg C.
32:36Corg D.
32:37Oh, this is...
32:38Corg D.
32:39How many little guys?
32:40Oh, I just...
32:41Corg E.
32:42Yeah, get it?
32:43Oh.
32:44Corg F.
32:45Corg F.
32:46Corg G.
32:47I can hear Charlotte's already playing along.
32:49Oh, sorry.
32:50Yeah.
32:50Corg H.
32:51OK.
32:52Ooh.
32:53And corgi.
32:54Oh.
32:55There you go.
32:56OK.
32:56What do you think in the audience?
32:58Oh.
32:59No, not the woo.
33:02Which corgi are you going for?
33:04What are you going for?
33:05C's the real one.
33:06C's the real one.
33:08C's the real one.
33:08So what do you think, guys?
33:10I think we think...
33:10Well, I'm thinking that C's the real one,
33:13simply because all the rest of them...
33:14Yeah, they're all real corgis.
33:15They're all real corgis.
33:17None of them are AI.
33:18This isn't corg AI.
33:20Oh, yes!
33:22Yes, brother!
33:24We're done!
33:29So corg C is the...
33:31Not the real one.
33:33The uncloned one.
33:34The uncloned one.
33:35Do you agree with that, Nabil?
33:37Not sure, man.
33:38Like, there's something about corg AI that makes me...
33:40It looks like it has some kind of substance habit,
33:42but that's like...
33:44Yeah, he had some of that air spray weird.
33:46OK, so which are you going to lock in your answer?
33:48C, Charlotte?
33:49I'm going to go for C.
33:50Nabil?
33:54What's that sound?
33:55I'm trying to see what I can recognize.
33:57Yay!
34:01Woo-hoo!
34:02We all thought that sort of thing in this game.
34:04Oh, yeah.
34:04We probably need an answer.
34:05Yeah.
34:06I think that...
34:08Corgi.
34:09Corgi.
34:10You think corgi.
34:11You think corgi.
34:11And Charlotte, you said corg C.
34:13Corg C, yeah.
34:14Corg C.
34:15Oh, well, I can tell you.
34:17It was a good try, but it's not right.
34:19Your eyes have deceived you.
34:21No.
34:21You failed to spot the old corgi out,
34:22and I can't believe you got it wrong.
34:24It's corg D.
34:25Corgi.
34:26Oh.
34:27Sorry.
34:28You could have won the special prize.
34:31Well, let's see what you could have won.
34:33Let's bring it out.
34:33Oh, gosh.
34:35Corgi.
34:36Oh.
34:38I can't believe that.
34:40Corgi.
34:44Oh, no.
34:46Oh, no.
34:48Is it trained to bark on certain words?
34:51There's certain words, yeah.
34:52He's a little bit against a certain American president.
34:57Ah.
34:58Does it work if I say Donald Trump?
35:01Trump.
35:08All right.
35:08We'll have more last things for you after the break
35:10as we meet England's deaf women's futsal team
35:12and celebrate their massive victory.
35:13We'll see you in a little bit.
35:22Oh, no.
35:23Oh, no.
35:27Welcome back to Last Leg.
35:28We're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdul Rashid.
35:31In disability news now,
35:32a woman by the name of Becky Coleman
35:34is hoping to become the first wheelchair user
35:36to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course in April.
35:39She's here with us tonight,
35:40so would you please welcome Becky Coleman.
35:42Woo-hoo!
35:44Woo-hoo!
35:46Woo-hoo!
35:47Woo-hoo!
35:47Woo-hoo!
35:47Woo-hoo!
35:52Now, Becky, let's first say you're wearing a mask
35:55because you really don't want to catch anything before the race.
35:57Is that right?
35:57Yep.
35:58Got to stay good for next week.
35:59So, yeah.
36:00Awesome work.
36:01So, when did you start rowing?
36:03So, I started rowing just under a year ago,
36:06a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge boat race,
36:08actually, last April.
36:10Right.
36:10And what changes have to be made to the boat?
36:12Yeah, so, I row with a fixed seat,
36:14so I just row with my arms,
36:16and I also have stabilisers on the boat as well
36:18to add a bit of extra stability.
36:21And you're the first person to do this,
36:22so what's the plan for the future?
36:25Possibly maybe do the head of the Charles in America at some point.
36:28So, I know we've had a bit of a dig at the US this evening,
36:31but maybe, still welcome.
36:34Yeah, possibly that,
36:35and maybe write a book at some point as well,
36:37kind of my experience with sepsis that I had a few years ago.
36:40So, yeah.
36:40And so, like, looking into your biog,
36:42you're also an elite triathlete
36:44and a top 40 wheelchair tennis player,
36:46so can you stop making the rest of us look bad?
36:49Yeah.
36:56We...
36:57We...
36:57We do have a little...
36:58We do have a little gift for you.
37:00We've got a little Hans in a boat.
37:02Hans was our little Paralympic mascot.
37:08Congratulations.
37:09There you go.
37:10No worries.
37:12Good luck.
37:12Give us a wave.
37:13Take Hans with you.
37:14Good luck, Becky.
37:21Glenn said,
37:22Is it OK that the women's England's deaf footballers are champions?
37:26Oh, yes, it fucking is.
37:27Yes, England won the European Deaf Futsal Championship
37:30after their 2-0 win against Poland in the final over the weekend.
37:35Here are some of the highlights.
37:37This is the first goal from Lucinda Lawson.
37:41Great finish.
37:43Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
37:49And here's the trophy left.
37:56We are very excited to have them in the studio
37:58and they're just as excited to be here,
38:00so put your hands in the air like you really care
38:02for the European champions,
38:03the England Deaf Women's Football Team!
38:06Woo!
38:10Woo!
38:12Woo!
38:14Woo!
38:15Woo!
38:16Woo!
38:17Woo!
38:18Woo!
38:18Woo!
38:19Woo!
38:20Woo!
38:20Woo!
38:22Woo!
38:32So, congratulations to you all.
38:34Zara, the captain, where's Zara?
38:36Zara, what changes are made to the rules of your game?
38:40Yeah, so it's an indoor five-a-side football style.
38:44Obviously, that's the format.
38:45Without the walls, we play on a hard surface with a heavier ball.
38:49So it's a little bit different than football,
38:51because we play indoors.
38:52But in terms of the deaf futsal game,
38:55we obviously play without our hearing devices,
38:57so everyone's on a level playing field.
38:59And the referees are supposed to use flags instead of whistles.
39:03It doesn't always work out that way,
39:04especially when you see a referee blowing a whistle
39:06and everyone's still running.
39:09LAUGHTER
39:11So, Kate, what are the challenges of playing deaf futsal?
39:14Well, we can't hear, is the first.
39:17LAUGHTER
39:24That's the start.
39:25I think there's lots of different things that sort of play a part.
39:29So you've constantly got to be aware of every single little thing
39:33around you all the time, because, as Zara said,
39:36sometimes you keep running, someone else has stopped,
39:39and you end up clattering into each other sometimes.
39:43So on the court, that's one thing.
39:45And then off the court, we've actually got...
39:48We've all got full-time jobs.
39:51And then you've got Ellie with a full-time job,
39:53and she's also her mum,
39:54and Forrest came out to support us as well.
39:56So there's lots of different challenges.
39:59And Maisie, how do you communicate with each other?
40:02Yeah, so when we get each other's attention,
40:04we use BSL.
40:05So every country will have their own sort of sign language.
40:07But to be honest, the hardest part is actually getting
40:09the person's attention in the first place.
40:12I think some people can pick up a bit of sounds,
40:14you can yell at them and they will hear you.
40:16Most of us, it's frantic waving of hands,
40:18trying to get people's attention.
40:20Or if you're any better, would you like to jump up and down
40:21and stomp your feet and still not get the person's attention?
40:25And Sophie, you're 16...
40:2817.
40:2917, pardon me.
40:3018.
40:30So, were you calling home regularly?
40:3318.
40:3918.
40:4119.
40:4219.
40:4220.
40:4920.
40:5921.
41:0020.
41:0122.
41:0221.
41:0622.
41:0722.
41:09All right, it's a bungalow.
41:2422.
41:2522.
41:2822.
41:2923.
41:2924.
41:30I hope to break and put those skills to use at the end of the show.
41:33We'll hold a sing-along and a sign-along
41:35for the England deaf women's futsal team.
41:38It's coming home.
41:39It's coming home.
41:41It's coming.
41:43Futsal's coming home.
41:45I think we've got it.
41:45We'll see you in a little bit.
41:47APPLAUSE
42:00Welcome back to Last Leg.
42:02We're John MacCharlotte Church and Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
42:05We're going to recap some news you might have missed this week.
42:08Sharks swimming in the Bahamas
42:09have been found to have traces of cocaine in their blood.
42:13Yeah, because sharks aren't cocky enough.
42:18Although I reckon it would be easier to get away from a shark
42:20if before they bit you, they had to tell you about crypto.
42:24I imagine them so off their nut, they're in the water,
42:27they're doing the Jaws music themselves, going...
42:32We're going to need a bigger mirror.
42:34Why has my thing gone smaller?
42:36I think that would be called the grinding Jaws music.
42:40Along with the great white powder,
42:41sharks were also found to have had caffeine in their system.
42:45I know.
42:45I don't know if you've ever seen an over-caffeinated shark
42:47who's also taken cocaine.
42:49It's pretty much the same vibe as an estate agent's Christmas party.
42:54Meanwhile, a former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt
42:57was revealed this week to have been in possession of Crystal Mess.
43:00Police also found cannabis, presumably for a joint,
43:03or as it's now known on the street, a Crispin Blunt.
43:07He represented himself in court, which is never a good sign,
43:10and said that he hosted drug-fuelled chemsex parties
43:13at his house in order to help inform government policy.
43:17No, he didn't.
43:19What?
43:21What am I saying?
43:22A man of the people.
43:28That's crazy.
43:29I know, right?
43:31Do you know what?
43:31I was up till 3 a.m. last night working on policy.
43:35I think he might enjoy prison.
43:37By the way, Crispin Blunt...
43:39Working on prison policy.
43:41Crispin Blunt lost the party whip in 2023,
43:43and the party handcuffs a year later.
43:47Animal story tonight.
43:48A squirrel was caught on film in London this week
43:50handling a vape in Brixton.
43:53Brr!
43:56Here is...
43:59Here is the startling footage.
44:03There it is.
44:04Squirrel with a vape.
44:05Oh.
44:06I know.
44:07Somewhere in the Caribbean,
44:08there's a shark on cocaine going,
44:09soft cock.
44:13And finally,
44:14Ipswich Town Football Club
44:15were forced to release a statement this week
44:17after reform leader Nigel Farage...
44:19Ooh!
44:20Sorry.
44:23I couldn't help it.
44:25Oh, fuck that guy.
44:26I love that guy.
44:27I know, you hate Ipswich.
44:29I fucking...
44:29I'm sorry.
44:33Huge Norwich fan,
44:34I'll admit to that.
44:35Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos
44:37of himself on a tour of the stadium
44:39with the phrase,
44:40I've never been too bad on the right wing.
44:41Fuck off.
44:42Sorry.
44:43The club pointed out it wasn't an official visit
44:45and that they do not support any political viewpoint.
44:49Just reflect how embarrassed
44:50the Ipswich fans are so embarrassed.
44:54Like, even more so than Arsenal fans.
44:56And Bin Laden supported us.
44:58LAUGHTER
45:01Ipswich's rivals Norwich hit back with this cheeky post saying,
45:04Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road.
45:06Terms and conditions will most definitely apply.
45:09All right, we're about to end the show
45:10by celebrating the England women's deaf futsal team
45:13winning the European Championships.
45:14But before we do, would you please thank our guests,
45:16Charlotte Church...
45:17CHEERING and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid...
45:22CHEERING and my co-host Josh Whittaker...
45:27and Alex Brokker.
45:30We'll be back next week with comedian Josh Pugh,
45:33TV legend Lorraine Kelly and online sensation Steve Bracknell.
45:35But right now, it's time to celebrate the England women's...
45:38And I'm...
45:39Yeah, do you know what?
45:40I'm going to put these on as well.
45:41The England women's deaf futsal team
45:43who last weekend won the European Championships.
45:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:50Hit the music.
45:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:55It's coming home, it's coming home
45:59It's coming, futsal's coming home
46:12Everyone seems to know the score
46:16We've heard it all before
46:19But not them
46:22They were sure
46:24That England would just blow them away
46:28With a brilliant display
46:30Show them all how to play
46:32Cos they remembered
46:34Three lines on a shirt
46:38Everybody cheering
46:41It takes twice the work
46:44To win with without your hearing
47:00It's coming home, it's coming home
47:04It's coming, futsal's coming home
47:08It's coming home
47:10It's coming home
47:12It's coming, futsal's coming home
47:15Thanks for watching The Last Leg. My name's Adam Hills. We'll see you next week for The Next Leg.
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