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FunTranscript
00:07You
00:32is she hydrated i'm just cutting off sedation and keeping the fluids you don't have any idea
00:38when she'll wake up i hope soon how soon i sedated her a while ago she's stable now
00:45but i don't know what kind of state she'll be in for the way the hospital she said no more
00:50hospitals she never wanted it to get like that you said she'd be awake you said she'd be okay
00:54for the wedding i mean i know what happened did you give her too much no this isn't my fault
00:59she's been having seizures all morning don't start please cancel it cancel what the wedding
01:04it's in an hour it was her final wish to see nikki get married she's not gonna see anything if
01:09she's
01:09like that she might wake up and be fine 100 people are about to show up no that's not how
01:15it works
01:15it's not your decision we're not cancelling the wedding why are we fighting please not in front
01:22of your mother she's unconscious she can still feel the energy we're not cancelling it okay why do you
01:27care so much and what about you hmm you're gonna pick mom or her porsche and why are you sitting
01:33on the way over there you're not even looking at each other because it's bad luck for us to see
01:36each
01:36other on our wedding day bad luck is for people who can't own up to anything there is no such
01:41thing
01:41as bad luck only bad decisions and this is one of them porsche seriously just no seriously she made
01:47me summon the devil the night before your wedding to see if she was your soulmate no that's not what
01:50happened oh it's not true how do you think i got this not from the devil oh it was some
01:54dead lady
01:54and then she broke my fucking face and i didn't summon shit it's never been like that before what
01:59the fuck happened at this bachelorette party no and then the next thing i know i wake up i'm on
02:05her floor and i don't know how i got there and then she's being all weird and freaky and then
02:09mom and a bunch of seizures it's not rachel's fault this is the brain she missed right no she's evil
02:14and she's hiding something from us evil i'm trying to save this family why don't you just just take
02:19a baby i am very calm she made me summon the devil i am calm i know it was not
02:23the devil it was my
02:25great-great-aunt and i am not hiding anything i have been very upfront with you all about everything
02:33that's been going on we have all been through a lot this week but no matter what happens it is
02:38going
02:39to end in a beautiful beautiful fucking wedding so help me god we are getting married today i love
02:45him and i love all of you and i i understand that that's very very very important to your mom
02:51but
02:51it is our wedding and i'm not gonna let any of you ruin it okay i am walking down the
02:56fucking aisle
02:56into his fucking arms no matter what she's gonna wake up to the wedding of her dreams and nikki's
03:00dreams and all of your dreams okay we are doing it
03:08no no we are canceling it right daddy absolutely no way no no that's we're not canceling anything
03:18korsha it's not your decision to make it's happening korsha you should put eyes on that
03:25well you should fuck off it can leave an ugly scar you're an ugly scar okay that's enough please
03:30everybody out you're disturbing my life's peace
03:35daddy i'm really sorry i just i'm just trying to be helpful
03:43come here okay come here i figured out a plan okay what's the plan um it's uh it's a lot
03:53to
03:53explain just maybe you stay with nikki and be the best man and then we'll we'll let you know when
03:57we
03:57need you yeah i need to know what the plan is hey now now shut up just do what she
04:03says
04:04wait wait what's the plan i found portia's book the thing that portia was talking about when she
04:08was possessed the something living something dead something stolen something red it's a ritual and
04:13we just have to do it and then everything's going to be okay
04:20so uh it's like a version of the something old something new something borrowed something blue so
04:24the something living comes from the green room uh there's something dead from the bride something
04:31stolen from the mother-in-law and something red from an adversary it says here that it's best to
04:36use blood so we just need to collect it combine it and then i just drink it right before i
04:39walk down
04:39the aisle and that's it and then the only thing is that uh once i drink it it will change
04:43me into
04:43a soulmate if i'm not already
04:48what do you think
04:50are you fucking crazy
04:57the seed of the groom
05:01are you are you going to take out one of your bones i don't know i don't know the hair
05:06of the
05:07mother-in-law and blood oh my god and you're gonna drink all this shit i guess
05:16jesus christ rachel that's not how you're supposed to respond a bone from the bride do you really want
05:23to remove a bone no no i don't want to do you remember what i said about staying in reality
05:27reality yeah right before portia was possessed by my dead great aunt yeah reality reality is not
05:34really on the table anymore it's got like pretty major side effect i know it's gonna change you into
05:40this so much changing how
05:44i don't know
05:46fucking psychotic
05:47worst case scenario doesn't work out but at least i fucking tried something
05:50you know the worst case scenario is that it turns you into a stepford wife
05:53oh yes okay so i've been thinking about that and it's fine it's totally fine because nikki
05:58is a great person right like you couldn't find a better person than nikki but i'm not a great
06:03person i'm like a medium bad person and when i think about it i've actually always known this
06:06and this is like an opportunity for me to fucking fix it
06:08that's not true is it you're not a bad person you're a very very good person
06:12no no no no no no here this is just one of the many examples okay like what happened last
06:19night
06:19that's like a medium bad person you know it is like the point of a bachelor party like the point
06:26back when they were invented okay well this isn't like the olden days men do it all the time
06:31yes but but but nikki wouldn't because nikki is so good his soulmate would also be so good and what
06:36i realize is that maybe this is like actually kind of amazing for me okay like if the ritual
06:41does in fact work then maybe this will be some sort of like lobotomy for me in a good way
06:45you don't need a lobotomy rachel okay well i don't want to die
06:48well you might die you also might not die well i'd like to like not die with certainty okay so
06:53i'm doing the fucking ritual you don't know what the consequences are i do know what the
06:57consequences are okay i do it and i uh live or i don't do it and i probably die yes
07:03but you live
07:04as a version of yourself that you don't recognize yeah a very alive version though
07:10i thought all you had to do was believe he was your soulmate
07:22i don't want to die like my mom did
07:26okay so i have to try something
07:31i thought i'm going to do it and you're either going to help me or you're not going to help
07:35me
07:35but i'm going to do it this will not be a tragedy filled wedding this is how i get to
07:45a hundred
07:45percent certainty do you really think this is the only way to survive shit oh my god the wedding's
07:54at noon the wedding's at noon and the sun sets at 4 44 it's 11 08 okay i'm going to
08:00start with the
08:00something stolen from victoria and then maybe the the something red yeah from probably porsche
08:05because she fucking hates me um oh by the way will you will you tell jules what the plan is
08:10yeah because he's gonna have to help us with the something dead and then i will come back and i
08:13will
08:14i'll grab mickey okay uh would you do that for me please i just came here to tell you i'm
08:18cancelling the ceremony not that you bothered to get ready anyway wait wait wait wait you didn't
08:26even want a wedding four days ago how long has changed in the last four days like you bringing
08:31incomprehensible evil into this home i am doing everything i can to stop it from affecting your
08:34family which means me getting married i don't want to hear about this narcissistic curse anymore
08:38it's very pick me and it's ruining the positive energy what positive energy you're preventing my
08:42mother from getting her dying witch no you'd be preventing your mother from getting her dying
08:45is by calling off the wedding i think it's a little late for that now i have no problem telling
08:52everyone here to leave okay go ahead hey now you don't care again no it's not that i don't care
09:01i just don't have time to fight with you about this because you have time because the wedding
09:05is important five minutes and i have here
09:15you don't honestly believe that
09:17i do
09:38thanks that's great
09:46rachel you have to calm down the guests are arriving what is wrong you're not listening i will
09:51not let you turn this wedding into some devil worshiping party it's crazy that you think that
09:54not after getting slapped in the face because of your dealings with the underworld i'm gonna tell
09:58everyone here to leave it doesn't matter okay i don't need a hundred people portia i can tell
10:03them all to leave i just need nikki the rings and wait this and i'm still getting married okay and
10:10you can still give your mother what she wants which is a beautiful beautiful wedding
10:21come on
10:26oh people are coming do you want me to take the thing from you why
10:30because it's all bloody and gross what do you want my blood for rachel
10:36i don't want your blood i'm just trying to help you no
10:45excuse me do you do you know where i'm not sure where the first looks you're supposed to be
10:48going the wrong way actually you can go that way where the guests wait a minute you're the bride right
10:57what would happen i don't know how it happened i swear i had them in the box and then i
11:01put it down
11:02for a second what happened i can't find them anywhere you can't find why the rings
11:08um okay do you uh do you know where they are where where did you last see them i don't
11:13know you don't
11:14know okay we're in a ceremony we'll just put them down
11:26uh you look on the left side okay you just look over there and try and remember where you left
11:31saw it okay okay okay what what what color was the box silver i think
11:41looking for something
11:47jude uh go go look in the living room yeah lighten up enjoy the day it could be a last
11:55did you take our
11:56rings ah it's true what they say no one escapes the three rings of marriage jude the engagement ring
12:07the wedding ring and the suffering did you take our rings i only take my treasures after the disaster
12:20this this belonged to your mother
12:31i'm wearing your father's tie
12:35a little something borrows for me
12:48oh you won't get any treasures this time you fucking asshole
12:52because i'm not letting you win i'm going to live
12:55and i won't be passing this fucked up shit down to anyone it ends with me
13:01tonight we'll see won't we the sun sets at 4 44. yeah i know i got plenty of time cheers
13:15i told you
13:18i told you
13:39Okay, well, if you don't do it, I'll do it, and that'll be bad for everyone, but you don't care,
13:43so fuck it.
13:44You'll do it.
13:45Yeah, why not?
13:46You don't know what you're doing. You'll totally fuck it up.
13:49Oh, will I? I'll see.
13:54No, I'll do it.
13:58Rachel, is it true you're wearing the dress?
14:01Her mom wouldn't let her wear it.
14:03No, it's fine. I didn't want to anyways.
14:05I actually went with something a little more modern.
14:07Um, hey, last night was so freaky, we talked to a ghost.
14:11Okay, where's Portia? Does her face look all fucked up?
14:15Yeah, sorry, I just...
14:17Oh.
14:39Hello?
14:41Hello?
14:49Hello?
15:15What are you doing?
15:22I'm sorry, I just, I wanted to check on her and make sure that she was okay.
15:30Okay.
15:37Sorry.
16:03Sorry.
16:04I, I don't, I don't think that I, I can let you do that.
16:10I can't let you do that.
16:22I can't let you do that.
16:43She's spent.
16:47I promised her I wouldn't let her fizzle out.
16:51She has lived a life of dignity and she will die.
17:07You can't just wait.
17:1240 minutes to see if she'll wake up.
17:24Look, this wedding is her, it's her dying wish.
17:31If anything, just, just do it for Nikki.
17:36Nikki needs to grow up.
17:40You guys are young and I can see our arrangement may stretch beyond your understanding so I will put it
17:46to you plainly.
17:48She would rather die, as who she is, than turn into someone she doesn't recognize.
18:06I, I would like some alone time with my wife now.
18:10You guys are young and I can't see my wife now.
18:39Yeah, something relatively unnoticeable.
18:44You don't have to do this.
18:46Don't discourage her.
18:48From removing her bones ten minutes before she gets married.
18:51It's not all my bones.
18:53Please.
18:54Okay, I want to live. I want Nikki to be happy.
18:56I want all this to be over.
18:57So just cut something off me.
19:00What about a tooth?
19:02No, no, no. That'll fuck up her face.
19:04So?
19:05It's still her wedding day. She doesn't want a swollen face.
19:07I'm sorry I was under the impression that we needed to save her life.
19:10Yes, in an unnoticeable way.
19:12She's going to be supernaturally altered.
19:14On the inside.
19:18Pinky toe?
19:26I need you to make the decision for me.
19:28It's a fucking insane decision. I can't make it.
19:34Right or left?
19:37Oh, my right.
19:38Oh, sorry. No, wait.
19:39Left, left. Sorry.
19:40No, fuck.
19:42Right. Right. Right.
19:44Up on the table.
19:45Okay? Eyes?
19:46Yes.
19:54Okay.
19:59First, we cut off circulation.
20:01No, you don't have to tell me what you're doing.
20:02Please.
20:04Will she have a limp?
20:06Oh.
20:07Okay.
20:09Would you have changed yourself irrevocably to turn into mice only?
20:14Not if I'd have a limp.
20:15Okay.
20:16Guys.
20:16Guys.
20:17Oh, she'll have a limp.
20:18By cutting her fucking toe off.
20:22Okay.
20:23Hmm?
20:28Hold her leg, please.
20:30Both.
20:30If you don't want to get kicked.
20:32Hmm.
20:34Hmm.
20:34Hmm.
20:34Okay.
20:35How long is this going to take?
20:37I don't know.
20:37I've never amputated anything before.
20:39Don't say that.
20:41Mm-hmm.
20:44If this doesn't work, something happens up there.
20:47We can't let Jude see it.
20:49No.
20:49Don't say that in front of her.
20:51I don't want you to see it either.
20:53You need to pretend me.
20:54You don't know what it's like.
20:55Can we get back to the part where I don't die?
20:57Sorry.
20:57Please.
20:58Okay.
20:59Yeah.
20:59Okay.
21:00I'm going to make the incision.
21:01You don't have to tell me what you're doing.
21:04Oh, fuck.
21:06Oh, no.
21:09Oh, no.
21:10Oh, no.
21:15Oh, fuck.
21:17Oh, is it done?
21:18Is it done?
21:19Yeah.
21:20Oh, Jesus Christ.
21:21What's that?
21:21Oh, my God.
21:22Oh, my God.
21:23Stop.
21:23Oh, my God.
21:23Oh, my God.
21:24Oh, my God.
21:24Stop.
21:24Stop.
21:25So you don't bite your tongue off.
21:26Just take that.
21:28All right?
21:32Are we going to cry, gentlemen?
21:34Ah!
21:34Ah!
21:49You want to hold it?
21:53Oh, fuck.
21:55What do you want me to do with that?
21:57Put it on ice in case it changes her mind.
22:00Oh!
22:02Will you take?
22:04Yeah.
22:04Talk with me.
22:05Stay with me.
22:07Dude, dude, dude, you've lost the rings.
22:09Don't worry.
22:10We can use ours.
22:11Right?
22:13All right?
22:13Just for you.
22:14All right.
22:20Fuck.
22:21The axle kicking scene.
22:22Oh.
22:24I'll give you a re-up at the reception.
22:26Mm-hmm.
22:27In the meantime, no soccer, okay?
22:31Mm-hmm.
22:34You two make a pretty good team, actually.
22:38Told you.
22:39Oh.
22:40What time is it?
22:42It's 11.31.
22:46Fuck, I gotta go.
22:48No, no, no.
22:49You should really keep your foot elevated for a minute.
22:52I can't.
22:53I can't.
22:54I gotta go find Nikki.
22:57Oh.
22:58Mm-hmm.
22:59Ah!
23:01Oh.
23:02Ah.
23:04Ah.
23:04Ah.
23:06Oh.
23:09Mm-hmm.
23:13Mm-hmm.
23:13Mm-hmm.
23:13Mm-hmm.
23:16Mm-hmm.
23:23Mm-hmm.
23:27Mm-hmm.
23:28Mm-hmm.
23:30Mm-hmm.
23:31Mm-hmm.
23:32Mm-hmm.
23:32Mm-hmm.
23:32Mm-hmm.
23:33Mm-hmm.
23:33Mm-hmm.
23:33Mm-hmm.
23:34Mm-hmm.
23:35Mm-hmm.
23:52I don't know.
24:20Shit, sorry.
24:23Have you been hiding in here?
24:25Yeah, kind of.
24:28I'm sorry, I...
24:29Mom, I'm happy to find you in here.
24:34Hi.
24:36Hi.
24:49You can look at me.
24:51No.
24:52Okay.
24:54You can look at me.
24:56No.
24:57Bad luck.
24:59We're way past that now.
25:04She should have a lucky penny right outside the door.
25:08Uh-huh.
25:09Yeah.
25:10I put that there.
25:16You did?
25:18Yeah.
25:20I did that for you this morning.
25:21I just felt like...
25:24I don't know.
25:25There's been like this horrible distance between us.
25:29I was just trying to...
25:31I don't know.
25:34Hmm.
25:37Hi.
25:39Hey.
25:40Hmm?
25:41Look at me.
25:52What are we gonna do?
25:59We're gonna close the distance.
26:04Just...
26:29We're gonna fix it, okay?
26:31I'm going to fix it.
26:34Just let me fix everything.
26:44All I have to do is be you.
26:54I love you.
27:08I love you.
27:31I love you.
28:06I love you.
28:08I love you.
28:10I love you.
28:16I love you.
28:17I love you.
28:19I love you.
28:24I love you.
28:32I love you.
28:39I love you.
28:42I love you.
29:06I love you.
29:33I love you.
29:38I love you.
29:44I love you.
30:19I love you.
30:50I love you.
30:51I love you.
31:02I love you.
31:10I love you.
31:28I love you.
31:43I love you.
31:47I love you.
31:51I love you.
31:57I love you.
32:03I love you.
32:11me. Yeah, I know. You know? Jules told me earlier today. Jules knows? They tell each
32:29other everything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have
32:36done it. I thought that I was doomed. You're not a bad person, Rachel. You're not a bad
32:45person. We were so good before we got here. You know? Does he believe me, right?
33:07About the curse. I do. I understand. All that matters is
33:15this. I miss our tiny baby. Where's our tiny baby? What? You lost a tiny baby? I don't
33:34fucking know. Um. Mickey? Are you in there? Just, yeah, hold on. It's mom. She's away.
33:43She's okay. Hurry. The wedding is in 10 minutes. Go. I'll be right there. Um. Hey. I love
33:50you so much. I love you. Okay. Okay. I love you. Go. Oh, I found our tiny baby. Oh, my
33:57my God. Keep it. Okay. Good luck. All right. I love you.
34:01I know. Oh, my God. Okay. Go. I love you.
34:24That ring
34:27Cheer up, child
34:30The goons
34:32And the snipers don't care
34:34There's nobody there
34:40One of these days
34:42You might notice
34:45The patch on my head
34:47I'm already dead
34:52And see the man
34:55That she married
34:57For money can't bring
35:00He's all I must have
35:19How do you make it down the street?
35:23The city burns like a fire beneath your feet
35:29Cheer up, child
35:32You're once not tearing apart
35:36Though you broke its heart
35:42Many people would give an arm and a limb
35:49To the place
35:56You're such a fight
35:58We don't let you
36:02We blame the world you were born into
36:06We're happy day of birth
36:08No matter where all the love
36:09Your feet have taken you today
36:12Did you hear me say
36:15That I love
36:16Something about you
36:19God, I don't know what it is
36:21Something that I must find
36:25For you have truly built your fault
36:44Do you see beneath the canopy
36:48From your top
36:51I don't have the reins
36:54All right
36:57Give me your ring
36:59What?
37:00We can't find the green
37:01So far it goes
37:03God, look what I have
37:05I totally forgot
37:08I didn't want them to get lost
37:11No offense, Judy
37:13Okay, here we go
37:55Please run
38:34No offense, Judy
38:41No offense, Judy
39:37No offense, Judy
39:58No offense, Judy
39:58No offense, Judy
39:58No offense, Judy
39:59No offense, Judy
40:00No offense, Judy
40:00No offense, Judy
40:01No offense, Judy
40:01No offense, Judy
40:01No offense, Judy
40:02No offense, Judy
40:11No offense, Judy
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