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00:03I think it's weak.
00:05You think it?
00:06Okay.
00:08That's too bad.
00:11So you'd want to get stoned to death?
00:12Not me.
00:14I'd want to get lit on fire, probably.
00:16No, you wouldn't.
00:18That's the least one you don't want.
00:21That's the one you don't want.
00:22I'd just wear it.
00:23You'd just wear it?
00:27Oh my goodness!
00:36Yes!
00:38There's a marriage in town!
00:41The marriage of two people coming together warms my heart.
00:46I remember my wedding day, marrying the love of my life, Patricia Carol Spencer.
00:51Loser! Loser!
00:53She's the best.
00:54I actually don't even remember what cake was...
00:56I don't remember our cake at all, actually.
01:00Were you at our wedding?
01:01No.
01:02No.
01:04Tort was there.
01:05No.
01:09Okay.
01:10Maddie is my best friend, my best man, my maid of honor, and the officiant.
01:16I get to marry my best friend, or marry off, or, you know, whatever that is, you know.
01:25I get to, I get to, uh, commensimate their marriage.
01:32Yeah.
01:33Just like that.
01:34Yeah.
01:35Just like that.
01:35Ah.
01:37Just like that.
01:38That's how marriage is.
01:39A little pot of gold for you.
01:41And that lucky person.
01:43Tort.
01:43You know.
01:44Okay.
01:44Can we make a cake?
01:45Shall we make a cake?
01:46I'm married.
01:48I'm not sure.
01:48We're going to make a lemon chip pot cake for a wedding.
01:51I didn't even know it was in me.
01:54Didn't even know it was in me.
01:55Our little friend is getting married.
01:59She's the light of our life.
02:04All we want is her to be happy.
02:09When I was a little girl, me and my mom used to go to this little cafe and she would
02:16get a slice of lemon chiffon cake.
02:21And the generational love of lemon chiffon cake is what I'm going to be bringing to one of the loves
02:28of my life for her to carry on the love to her life.
02:36It's preheated.
02:37Good.
02:38Does it keep beeping?
02:39No, it'll stop.
02:40Like a lemon chiffon cake is a cake that shows that you care about somebody.
02:44You make somebody a lemon chiffon cake, this isn't like a batch of brownies or something.
02:48Like a lemon chiffon cake, it's regal.
02:52It's beautiful.
02:54It's profound.
02:55Okay.
02:56It is a fabulous day.
02:57We are first going to start with separating 37 eggs.
03:03I feel the whites are the brains of the operation.
03:10And the yolk, Michelle, can you help me, is kind of like the hearts.
03:17In torment at all times.
03:21Like that bus towel.
03:30Have you met her fiance before?
03:32I've never met her fiance before.
03:34She's kind of secretive about it, but she's like, she's excited.
03:38We live in different cities, so it's not like we can see each other all the time, you know?
03:44I love baking so much.
03:46And we're just going to start slowly incorporating.
03:49Okay.
03:50And then we're going to speed it up.
03:54And then we're going to speed it up.
03:55We're going to lift it up.
03:57Are you going to take more sugar?
03:58No.
03:59Sugar goes in here.
04:02Vanilla goes in here.
04:05Vanilla goes in here.
04:05Vanilla goes in here.
04:07Vanilla.
04:07Vanilla.
04:08I won't be able to hear it, Michelle.
04:10No.
04:10Are you ready to hold me up again, Michelle?
04:14No.
04:15And there we go.
04:16That's it.
04:18One, two, three.
04:19That's Steph.
04:20That's Steph.
04:21Steph.
04:23Oh.
04:24That's not.
04:25That's just salty.
04:25This just tastes like salty foam.
04:27There's no sugar in it.
04:28There's no sugar.
04:29Oh, I hate it.
04:30No, he doesn't like it.
04:31Ugh.
04:32That was just salty air.
04:35Aw, look at ya.
04:37Put your hips in it.
04:46Gentle.
04:47Gentle.
04:48We don't want to disturb the air.
04:50I can be as gentle as a bookworm.
04:55Doesn't it come out of your bum?
04:56Yeah.
04:58Clouds of love.
05:00Marriage is, I love it.
05:01I love, you know, I'm lucky.
05:04I found somebody I love really young.
05:06And, you know, we've had a long...
05:08If I wasn't fully committed to my wife, like if I was...
05:11Okay.
05:13Andy.
05:14Disgusting.
05:15Camera B.
05:16I would make passionate love to.
05:18Just bubble baths, reading novellas under a willow tree, sucking his feet.
05:25Tort.
05:26I would let you do whatever you want to me, and I would be your sub.
05:31Sound guy.
05:32I think we would just mutually masturbate.
05:34Do you think that's cheating now?
05:35When you masturbate beside someone?
05:38Yeah.
05:39Oh.
05:40Why?
05:40Do you masturbate next to people all the time?
05:42No.
05:42But I do think, like, threesomes are a good loophole.
05:48What about cucks?
05:49Love that.
05:49Okay.
05:52Okay.
05:55We got more whipping today.
05:57Don't we?
05:57We always do.
05:58It's wedding day vibes.
05:59We're horny.
06:01I feel you could put this inside of me, no problem.
06:04Do you want me to try?
06:07Which part?
06:08Just that.
06:10And then I could mix everything.
06:12Hot.
06:14What's that, a big hair?
06:16Whose is that?
06:16Is that mine or yours?
06:17I would say it's yours.
06:19Look, that's yours.
06:20That looks like brown hair to me.
06:23What color's your hair, fucking skunk?
06:26Michelle makes me a better person.
06:28I think I bring out the best in her.
06:30She's got a lot to learn, but she's great.
06:32You know, she's going to be a really good food stylist one day.
06:44You know, I get a couple punchies in.
06:48I could get a couple punchies in on her wedding day.
06:52You know?
06:53That's as stiff as it gets.
06:56It doesn't get any stiffer than that.
06:58Oh my god.
07:01Yeah.
07:02Maybe we cook our egg.
07:04Wait, wait, wait.
07:05It kind of makes my mouth stick.
07:06I know, it's kind of crazy, right?
07:07Watch.
07:11Uh-oh.
07:17Okay.
07:18Is this your bachelorette party?
07:19Mm-hmm.
07:20Maybe.
07:22Uh, so the reason we cook the egg whites...
07:24Girls like to have fun, right?
07:25It's because it...
07:31Our little angel's about to be off the market!
07:35I'm just so excited.
07:36Half off beef liver!
07:38Close the butcher dreams!
07:42Just try that again.
07:47Uh...
07:58You gotta scrub deep to get me out of ya.
08:00Yeah.
08:01Okay.
08:02We're gonna...
08:03Now we're gonna make a custard.
08:06A little curd.
08:07Curd.
08:07So we're gonna juice some lemons.
08:09Do you want to use your kitchen stick?
08:11Yeah, that worked well.
08:12Yeah.
08:12We got that papaya prairie frog box.
08:16Oh.
08:18Yeah.
08:19Over the bowl.
08:26Nope.
08:30Stop.
08:34Thanks for my lemons.
08:35Thank you guys.
08:37Yeah, these aren't bad JC.
08:48And we whisk.
08:50This is gonna be very nice.
08:52Tastes like a lemon lollipop.
08:54We love a lemon lollipop.
09:00We love a lemon lollipop.
09:05This is the last step and then we can assemble.
09:08I love making wedding cakes.
09:09I think we're gonna start a wedding cake business.
09:11It's called...
09:14Just a cake.
09:16Oh my god.
09:17A little air conditioning here?
09:18What happened?
09:18Oh yeah.
09:18Get a little fucking couple air flows up there.
09:21Up that polyester?
09:22That feels good.
09:23Up that polyester.
09:23I bet that club sandwich is sweaty.
09:30Roast beef.
09:32Michelle.
09:33Don't be disgusting.
09:34It's your wedding day.
09:35I can't help it.
09:36I can't help it.
09:37You bring it out in me.
09:38Have some respect.
09:39Have some respect.
09:41I kinda wish I was just marrying the kitchen stick.
09:44I think a lot of lucky people would.
09:48We've said it before.
09:52This is very versatile.
09:57Lift it up.
09:59Are you kidding me right now?
10:01I made that.
10:02You did.
10:08Oh yeah.
10:09Perfect.
10:11Oh yeah.
10:12That's nice.
10:16What are you doing?
10:18Just try it.
10:25You like that?
10:26No, it's so good.
10:26Yeah.
10:27I like a little curd.
10:29Okay, put it on.
10:35No.
10:36That's too much.
10:38We'll take some out.
10:48That's not right.
10:50I just want today to be perfect.
10:52It will be perfect.
10:53What's the matter?
10:54Nothing.
10:54There's too much.
10:55Hey.
10:56Okay, I just...
10:57You okay?
10:58Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:58I thought the lemon curd came out really good.
11:02Um...
11:02I am not gonna lie.
11:04Let's see.
11:05I think I have a bucket of diarrhea inside me that's gonna come out shortly.
11:08Okay.
11:09Okay.
11:11Okay.
11:12Okay.
11:14Just...
11:16I don't...
11:20It smells like diarrhea.
11:22It smells like burnt.
11:24It smells like...
11:25It's not even real.
11:26No!
11:28You go.
11:29I'll finish it.
11:30It smells like...
11:31It was...
11:31Uh-oh.
11:32You know, a little toot.
11:34A couple tootskies.
11:36Let's just finish this crumb layer.
11:37I think I'm actually gonna bomb.
11:44No!
11:47Just like that.
11:48A wedding cake.
11:50Tor's not gonna use any of this.
11:54Uh, I just wanted to know if you're actually getting my messages.
11:57I've left a cup...
12:00Do they...
12:01Not pack like a dress shirt?
12:03It's just literally a suit.
12:04Oh, yeah?
12:07What do you have underneath it?
12:08Well, at least it's a three-piece suit, so I got a vest.
12:14Oh, that looks nice.
12:18I look good.
12:19You kinda look like, uh, Tweedledee.
12:24Well, that's...
12:25It's...
12:26Your...
12:27Perspective?
12:30I think I look nice.
12:31I think I look like...
12:33Should I take the vest off?
12:36Maybe just the vest.
12:39You know, that's the look.
12:42Hey.
12:44Hey.
12:46Nice to meet you.
12:48We hug.
12:49I'm Mich...
12:51I'm Maddie.
12:53Michelle's best friend.
12:55Welcome to our family.
12:56When I'm around him, like, the world stops.
13:00Hey.
13:02And...
13:03It's just us, you know?
13:06And...
13:07I know that you can feel some crazy energy between us, but we're just friends.
13:11Mrs. Michelle William Zane.
13:15Michelle Zane.
13:16I think that's...
13:17Michelle.
13:19Excuse...
13:21A...
13:21The...
13:22The...
13:22Hold up!
13:23I'll do this, baby.
13:25Hold up!
13:27The...
13:27The...
13:27The...
13:28The...
13:29The...
13:32You know what?
13:32I'm gonna call her.
13:33I'm gonna check in.
13:41Ricky?
13:42Hello, buddy.
13:43Like, getting Billy Zane...
13:44It's great.
13:45It's a crazy get, right?
13:49And...
13:49I don't know.
13:50I'm just excited for her to find love.
13:52Because I know what it feels like.
13:55And...
13:55I want people to feel that.
13:56You pick up this time, but...
13:58Like, maybe you're just busy getting ready.
14:01Um...
14:01Call me back.
14:05But did you, like, you talked to him before this?
14:08Yeah.
14:09Oh, God!
14:10He's...
14:10I'm not...
14:13I thought he was coming.
14:15We love her.
14:16We love her.
14:17You know?
14:19She's sick in the head, but we love her.
14:31The door's locked.
14:33Nice and nicey-nicey-nice until it's not
14:38It will hurt you, it will hurt you
14:43I'll just be talking today
14:52Hello?
14:55Monsoir, Michelle, I'm just coming from the Riviera.
14:58Hey, can we FaceTime? I want to see you.
15:00You don't want to see these cheekbones right now.
15:03They're not at their best. I've just arrived, Intercontinental.
15:07What the fuck?
15:09I don't care that he didn't even realize that he was going to get married.
15:13So you're just around the corner, you're kind of close? This is the rehearsal.
15:16The limousine is lost. Just remind me, what is your mother's maiden name for the bouquet?
15:22It's hard watching your friend having an episode.
15:31I just want to be there for her.
15:33I want to be a good friend. I want to be her best friend.
15:36I want to take care of her. I want her to be okay.
15:41I want Billy to be okay.
15:43Because I'm a new celebrity, and you're an icon.
15:47Celebrity is just the shadow, isn't it?
15:50You do meatballs, right?
15:52We could still be best friends.
16:01They're so good. They're so good.
16:03See, we just need each other.
16:05That's true.
16:11I still think Billy's nice.
16:14Maybe he's got in a car accident.
16:17I got stood up on my own wedding day,
16:21and I still have to clean the kitchen.
16:33It was a long day.
16:38Out of heaven.
16:53Is that a wrap on today, you think?
16:54Uh, I don't know.
16:58Out of heaven.
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