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Short filmTranscript
00:01How you doing?
00:05Hello again.
00:07Look at you. Hi. How you doing?
00:10Oh, the best of the city.
00:12You as well.
00:13Have I told you about my new business with my sister?
00:15Show me the inside of your handbag now.
00:18Unacceptable.
00:19How does M&S, children's range, sound?
00:22Is it confirmed?
00:23Yeah.
00:23Yes.
00:24Look at his long face.
00:27London's burning.
00:28What have you done?
00:30Oh!
00:31This is...
00:32There's your hallway.
00:33I'm having quite a good time.
00:34Dating at the moment.
00:36Have you bagged anyone?
00:38I'm not.
00:41Can't believe it's the first time in five and a half months
00:44that we've gone for dinner.
00:46Mmm.
00:47It's a lot to kind of witness.
00:49Watching someone you obviously love so much
00:52like deteriorate so quickly.
00:56I'm dating someone.
00:58There's something I can't, like, figure out with her.
01:01She's quite cold.
01:02I don't know if I've got the gene or not,
01:03but you said I possibly could have the gene.
01:05I thought I'd bump into you more and pass the screen.
01:08I've just been busy just working.
01:10Very nice.
01:10Yeah.
01:11I find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her.
01:14When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue,
01:17whereas you will bang your head against the wall
01:18until you can create an issue.
01:32I'm tired.
01:35I'm tired.
01:36I'm tired.
01:36How would we describe my last year?
01:40Hectic.
01:41Chaotic.
01:42A lot has happened.
01:43We're living in a fucking dump.
01:45A lot hasn't happened as well.
01:46Got to get the stone installed.
01:48We don't need running water.
01:49They haven't done those plugs.
01:50We've been renovating and trying to create our dream home.
01:54We may as well have just knocked the entire building down
01:57and rebuilt it at this point.
01:59What about this?
02:00You're not even joking.
02:01It's got to learn one day, isn't it?
02:03Motherhood is a roller coaster.
02:06Highs and lows is the best way to describe it, I think.
02:09You can't just have bread like this, baby.
02:13But equally, he's so cute.
02:16I just love him so much.
02:18I'm plain.
02:18Plain!
02:22Come on, chicken pox man.
02:23Time to get changed.
02:25You itchy today.
02:27I've just turned 35.
02:28It is officially my birthday month.
02:30We've just been to Ibiza with a bunch of friends.
02:33I mean, we've got to stop getting you changed in the morning
02:35because you're a big boy now.
02:36You're four.
02:37Max, in and out the country.
02:39Three kids.
02:41Obviously, Pedro.
02:42That's what I've done.
02:43I've moved house.
02:45Hello!
02:47Join the bundle!
02:48There's no dull moment in the Belsa Darden household.
02:52I love it like that.
02:56I can't believe its extensions just look so natural.
02:58Honestly, the best decision I've ever made in my life.
03:02This last year, I have done a lot of traveling.
03:07Going to lovely restaurants, eating good food, lots of martinis.
03:11I really genuinely enjoy what I do, the jewelry and bagged.
03:15You know, I don't switch off when I leave the office at five.
03:18I'm always working the evenings and the weekends,
03:20but I definitely say I'm in my prime.
03:23I'm not high-maintenance, but I like to dress well
03:26and I think if you leave the house looking like shit,
03:29you're going to feel like shit all day.
03:31I'm best friends with my problems.
03:34Down to my demons.
03:36Laugh when I'm at my low point.
03:37Get high when I'm in my feelings, yeah.
03:40My sister and my dad are going to be here soon, James.
03:43We're falling!
03:44James?
03:46Come on in!
03:47No!
03:50Help!
03:52Because of the sheer amount of stress
03:54and everything that's been going on,
03:57it's been a hard chapter for Lucy and James.
04:00We've been bickering more.
04:02What are you saying? They won't approve?
04:04Well, I just kind of, like, it's already a shithole.
04:06I kind of want to set it up and make it look nice.
04:08Can you polish a turd, my friend?
04:09Exactly, I know.
04:11So, why bother?
04:15Hello, Dad.
04:16Hi.
04:16Come on in.
04:17So, look at this. Donnie.
04:19This is a work of art.
04:21One of the main reasons that we moved out of London,
04:23because that was a huge decision for us,
04:25was to be closer to family.
04:27Hey, Dad!
04:28How you doing?
04:29You are matching!
04:31I'm not sure. He's not sure, no.
04:32I think it's really important for Wilbs
04:34to have a close relationship with his grandparents
04:38and we just feel like it's a better family environment.
04:42When will you fry your first egg or...?
04:45Probably not.
04:45You don't need eggs, do you?
04:47When will you cook your first meal?
04:49Um, probably in three weeks.
04:53This actually has to be ready,
04:54because my vegan recipes book, we're shooting that here.
04:57Oh, OK.
04:58So the kitchen has to be ready for that.
04:59Has to be ready for that.
05:00So I can't let the publishers down.
05:02I mean, take my house off to you and James.
05:05I mean, living through all this...
05:06It's testing.
05:06It's testing.
05:07It is physically and mentally exhausting
05:10and sometimes you just want to be able to shut your mind off.
05:13You can't do that around your child,
05:14because there's hazards here, there and everywhere.
05:17So we're both kind of gasping for breath.
05:20We're both just like, when can I have my time?
05:22And it's a constant argument at the moment.
05:26Hello.
05:27Hello.
05:28Come on in.
05:29Oh, who's coming?
05:30Hi, guys.
05:31Hi.
05:32Shall we put the dog foot stairs?
05:33Hello.
05:34Hello.
05:35Hello.
05:36Hello.
05:36Hi, Jude.
05:38Look at those gorgeous eyes.
05:39You literally forget how small they are.
05:41He didn't have his eyes open, did he, before?
05:43No.
05:43No, he was just asleep the whole time.
05:44He was asleep the whole time.
05:45Do you think this is your, like, forever home?
05:46I hope so.
05:47So, we've just done, you know, we've done it all.
05:49And it will be worth it in the end, won't it?
05:53Ha ha ha.
05:54It will be.
05:55Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
06:18Oh, it's nice and clean in here.
06:20It's a bit smelly, isn't it?
06:22Ollie is one of the first best mates I've ever had.
06:25He can be a pain in the arse and drive me mad,
06:27but he is like a brother to me.
06:29Do you remember when you gave me my first,
06:31one of my first driving lessons around here?
06:33Yes, it was absolutely disastrous.
06:35Lennox Gardens, I remember it very well,
06:37and my Union Jaguar.
06:38I think it worked quite well, actually.
06:40I think it was absolutely disastrous.
06:42Absolutely terrifying.
06:44Great.
06:44If we can try and survive this journey,
06:46it would be lovely.
06:48Well, I have been enjoying chicken pox recently.
06:50Oh, no, don't.
06:51Wolfie came down with it just after his birthday.
06:54Then India came down with Wilder the same day,
06:57a week after Wolfie had got them.
06:58Apparently, the more children you have and it goes down,
07:01the worse it gets.
07:02So, Wilder's been...
07:03I mean, his little face is covered.
07:05By the way, don't look at my eyebrows.
07:07Johannes is on some...
07:08Oh, my God!
07:09..retreat.
07:12Half of them have gone.
07:13They haven't.
07:14Oh, they've gone.
07:15You've only got half an eyebrow.
07:16Oh, my God.
07:17Look in the mirror.
07:18No, what?
07:18You've only got half an eyebrow.
07:19Look at the side here.
07:20It's completely gone.
07:22Well, I don't know what's going on.
07:23Johannes needs to come back from our silly retreat.
07:25You're looking pretty good.
07:27We went for a bit of a rogue stage.
07:28I...
07:29Yeah, again, it was after Covid.
07:30I put on weight.
07:31And then, darling...
07:32Then lovely a Zen pic popped into your little fridge.
07:34Thank God!
07:35A Zen pic was made.
07:38Because I couldn't lose that on my own.
07:39I don't want to go to a fucking gym, do I?
07:42Boring Zen.
07:52There's lots to do, but...
07:54It's going to be amazing.
07:55It will hopefully be worth it.
07:57What?
07:58What?
08:00Are you going to go out and play with Willoughby?
08:03Bye.
08:04They say, like, moving house and divorce are the most stressful things.
08:08Yeah, I think it's just put a massive string on us.
08:10Like, I miss us.
08:11Yeah.
08:12What I've been suggesting is going and speaking to a therapist.
08:15Oh, really?
08:16Which I think he's, like, terrified by the idea.
08:18It's got to that stage.
08:20So this will be your first fully vegan barbecue?
08:22I think so, yeah.
08:24Yeah, I'm really...
08:24Lost?
08:25Really...
08:25No, you should never say that.
08:27Really looking forward to it.
08:29How are you, um, you know, a barbecue psych?
08:31How's it been?
08:32Quite stressful would be an understatement.
08:34Obviously, when you've got a baby to look after.
08:37Yep.
08:37Lucy's obviously still very busy.
08:39So not much quality time?
08:40No, not really.
08:42We've definitely realised that we go from zero to 100 quite quickly.
08:46I don't like the way that we speak to each other when we're angry.
08:49I've got a child around.
08:50Like, I don't want him picking up that energy.
08:52Lucy's been, um, banging on about that we need to go to therapy.
08:56Right.
08:57I've said many times that I wouldn't go.
08:59Right.
09:00Because there is no problem.
09:01There is no problem in our marriage.
09:02But if she feels the necessity to go and you are slightly reluctant, then that could
09:09place its own problem, I guess.
09:11I see it as you can pick anybody in the world and you're going to be stressed under this
09:15scenario.
09:16Yeah, of course.
09:17I don't know if James is going to come.
09:19Every time I brought it up with him, he's like, I'm not coming.
09:22Really?
09:24Because I'm a product of divorced parents, I have seen where arguments and bickering
09:31can lead.
09:32His parents have been together for 30 plus years and he doesn't have the experience of
09:37a broken family that I have.
09:39So he doesn't necessarily relate to me on that level.
09:45What a feast.
09:46What's the review on the vegan burger?
09:48Not bad.
09:49Is that nice, Wilbs?
09:52It's a big burger for a little baby.
09:54Gosh, isn't it?
09:55James, Lucy was telling me about the therapy.
09:58Do you think you're going to go?
09:59Why don't we just wait until the builders have gone and then we'll see?
10:03Because they're not going to be gone for another six months.
10:05I think if the builders are going to be here for another six months, then probably no harm.
10:09Sorry, James.
10:11I thought we bonded over that vegan barbecue.
10:14Well, we did bond.
10:15You've done me dirty.
10:16To the extent I now feel comfortable about giving you some father-in-law advice.
10:20Dad never went to therapy, did you?
10:22Well, let's not go.
10:24This isn't about me.
10:25You seem to have crawled back into your shell.
10:28I think I would love you to come, but I don't want you to come kicking and screaming.
10:46Hello.
10:47Hello.
10:49Oh, you look fab.
10:50I absolutely adore Binky.
10:52She's so much fun.
10:54She's so kind.
10:55She doesn't make being a mother her whole personality.
10:59And for me, that is so special to spend time with people that are in different eras of their life
11:07without it being the only thing that they can talk about.
11:12What have you been up to?
11:13Er, I have my birthday.
11:15Yeah, I know.
11:15I can't wait to celebrate you.
11:17And we're having our lunchy.
11:18Max isn't going to be there.
11:19He left for New York this morning at 5am.
11:21Oh, God.
11:22He's hovering over me to try and give me a kiss at 5am.
11:24I was like, ugh, freaked out.
11:25This was the face of my face.
11:27But I think Lucy's coming.
11:29You're coming.
11:30You're coming.
11:32I actually can't remember the last time I saw Lucy.
11:34It was ages ago.
11:35But, you know, the phone works both ways.
11:39How's your mummy?
11:41Mummy's good.
11:42Good.
11:43And the kids are all happy.
11:44I miss them.
11:45Well, we should get you over.
11:46Yes, I must.
11:47Aunty Roro.
11:48And Aunty Roro getting any, um, seeing to action at the moment?
11:52Um, I'm dating someone.
11:55Okay.
11:56I met him really randomly.
11:58Okay.
11:58I was in St Pancras getting the Eurostar to Paris to visit a couple of friends.
12:02I was queuing for my matcher in Pret.
12:04I was wearing a grey outfit.
12:06This girl came up to me.
12:07She had a baby in a carrier.
12:09She had a Birkin 35 on her arm with loads of charms.
12:12And she said to me, I need to know where your outfit's from.
12:16We got chatting.
12:17We have loads of mutual friends on Instagram.
12:19She's French but lives in London.
12:21And she said, I can't believe you're single.
12:23I have someone to set you up with.
12:25Come to my Chebat dinner in two weeks' time.
12:27Stop it.
12:27And I went.
12:28And I met him there.
12:30He didn't actually realise that it was a set-up.
12:33So I'd seen the pictures, so I recognised him in the room.
12:35And we just chatted all night.
12:37The next day, he had messaged the girl that hosted the dinner and said,
12:41who was that girl?
12:42She was amazing.
12:43I definitely let my walls down.
12:45And he deserved to see me with my walls down.
12:49It just felt like, you know, there were no barriers.
12:54How long has this been going for?
12:55I don't know.
12:56A couple of months.
12:57Oh, my God.
12:58So you've obviously seen everything and done everything,
13:00and it's all going well, tickety-boo.
13:02It's all great.
13:02Everything works.
13:03Yeah, everything's working.
13:05Oh, great!
13:05You always try before you buy.
13:07Don't go straight, do you?
13:08You don't shag anymore anyway, so it's fine.
13:11No, I don't really.
13:12Poor Gareth.
13:12Do you send nudes?
13:14I've got my own willy on my phone.
13:15Who do you send it to?
13:16I've never sent it to anyone.
13:17You just take it for what?
13:18The memories?
13:19I don't remember what it used to be like.
13:21They don't shrink, though, do they?
13:23True.
13:23I'm 40 in a year.
13:25Do you look very good, though?
13:25I think boys get better at their age, don't they?
13:27Well, I've got endo lift on Friday.
13:29I've had that.
13:30Is it good?
13:30I won't tell you what's involved,
13:32because you probably won't turn up.
13:33Fuck growing old gracefully, though.
13:35I know.
13:35God.
13:36Forget it.
13:36Fuck that.
14:02There you go, Mama.
14:04Oh, well, darling.
14:05What did I get you?
14:05Anything from this selection?
14:07What?
14:08Is that cheese in the thing?
14:09It is cheese.
14:10What type of cheese?
14:12Er...
14:13Really nice cheese.
14:14Oh, right.
14:15That's near enough.
14:18How about the chickens?
14:22I'm sorry.
14:23I'm sorry about the chickens.
14:24I mean...
14:25Of course you got her chickens.
14:28Yes, because she asked me for them.
14:30So, for India's birthday,
14:32two presents from Gaga rocked up.
14:34One of them was 12 eggs,
14:37and we thought, oh, that's amazing.
14:39Mummy's bought her a cake-making kit.
14:41Opened the second present,
14:43and it was a bloody incubator.
14:49Max was far from impressed.
14:51Oh.
14:53There he is.
14:54It would be good to see him.
14:55I haven't seen him for ages.
14:57No, thank you.
15:00Hello, plum.
15:01Hello.
15:03I'll take those ghastly shoes off your feet immediately.
15:05Probably I will.
15:06Where are they from?
15:06Are they from Gucci, by any chance?
15:08Yes, they're Gucci.
15:10Hello, handsome boy.
15:11Take them off, then.
15:12I don't know where.
15:13Have you been on those bloody pavements in London?
15:16Well, quite.
15:17What?
15:18Oh, no.
15:19Hello, mother.
15:20Oh, darling.
15:20Are you having champagne?
15:21No.
15:22It's sparkling wine.
15:26I'm a little bit baffled about what's going on in your ear right now.
15:29I'm not sure I'm liking it particularly.
15:30Yeah, that is something.
15:31Now, I had rather a boozy lunch yesterday.
15:34Curl surprise.
15:37And accidentally ended up going to get an ear piercing.
15:41Two.
15:41Well, no, because I wanted it lower, and then I had to have another one.
15:44Why is it infected already?
15:46It's not infected.
15:46What are you talking about?
15:47It's very, very crusty at the moment.
15:48I just had it done yesterday.
15:49Very red as well.
15:50When I walked in, I thought immediately how good they look.
15:52I'll take them out when I realise that I'm not 25 anymore.
15:59Mummy and Ollie, they've got a lovely bond.
16:01They've known each other for over 15 years.
16:03So when we are all together, it does feel like he's family.
16:07Well, I'm very much looking forward to my birthday lunch.
16:10I just can't believe you're this age already, darling.
16:13Another five years and I'm 40.
16:15Oh, my God.
16:16Don't tell anyone, will you?
16:18Obviously, this one's coming.
16:19You're coming.
16:20Lucy and Rosie.
16:22Do they get along?
16:23I think so.
16:24Yeah.
16:25I don't see them getting along.
16:26I don't see the two of them as being a match.
16:28They're so different.
16:29But possibly.
16:29I think they're quite similar.
16:31In some ways.
16:32Well, either way, they're going to be gorgeous.
16:34Yeah.
16:35They're a few punch-ups.
16:36They're so much better.
16:36There'll be no punch-ups.
16:37I know.
16:38Wouldn't it be wonderful?
16:40So much fun.
16:54Are you excited?
16:56I'm so excited.
16:58You're the reason we're here.
17:00I know.
17:00I know, sorry.
17:01I couldn't believe that James agreed to go to couples therapy.
17:04It was...
17:05I honestly thought it was a battle that I was never going to win.
17:10Hi.
17:11Hello.
17:12Would you like to come through?
17:13Let's do it.
17:13Follow me, please.
17:15I felt like until we actually sat down with someone, it was just going to...
17:19He was going to keep avoiding the subject.
17:21So I really need a professional opinion.
17:25The session is going to be an hour long.
17:27It's a lot of therapizing.
17:29Therapy.
17:31It's a lot.
17:32The question is, what brings you to therapy?
17:35Okay.
17:35James and I have definitely bickered and argued more over the last probably 12 months than ever before.
17:41My perspective is the last year has been quite mental for us, as in we've moved into a building site.
17:50Okay.
17:51It's just short-term shit, which we'll soon be out of, and it'll all be rosy.
17:57The way that we speak to each other is not conducive for a happy and healthy relationship long-term.
18:02You'd like things to be better.
18:04Yeah, I would.
18:05When there isn't an issue, I won't make an issue.
18:07Whereas you will bang your head against the wall until you can create an issue.
18:11James would never choose to address an issue.
18:14I think he just thinks, in time, said issue will just go away, and I am very confrontational.
18:20I like to address things head-on, and I think sometimes that can be a bit exhausting for him.
18:26Maybe he thinks I'm making things into a bigger deal than they are.
18:29What have you heard him express?
18:32It's more work-related stuff, like, why do you need to have this meeting today?
18:37Why do you need to have that Zoom call?
18:38I don't question that.
18:39Okay.
18:40Okay, so...
18:40You have said to me, with meetings and stuff, that I take the piss.
18:44Sometimes you do.
18:45But when it's work...
18:47I don't say it when it's work.
18:48Lucy.
18:49You do, James.
19:01Wolfreck.
19:03Stop eating all the crisps, you cheeky boy.
19:07You cheeky...
19:09Now I'm 35.
19:11It's made me aware that we are getting older, and I'm a mother.
19:15I have responsibility to make sure I'm keeping an eye on my health and making sure I'm there for as
19:21long as possible for them.
19:22Are you going to give me a kiss?
19:24My prince.
19:25My prince.
19:26I love you so much.
19:28As soon as you push out that first baby, you are no longer your priority.
19:32You are, like, back of the queue.
19:34So what I have organised is for me to go and speak to someone about MS.
19:38Yes.
19:39I don't know if I've got the gene or not, but you said I possibly could have the gene.
19:43Well, only that I have and my aunt had.
19:45Yeah.
19:46So we both...
19:46And I don't know if it is a gene, darling.
19:48This is why I'm going, because I have no idea about anything.
19:50I'm thrilled you're doing it.
19:52I'd like to talk to someone about it.
19:53Yeah, agreed.
19:54Would you like me to come with you?
19:56I'd just like to.
19:57My mum's always been very keen for me to keep an eye on my health, the order I'm getting.
20:04She would watch me from a young age falling over or complain about my knees.
20:10She'd see things that I did which would remind her what she used to do.
20:15So I've always been very in tune with getting my health checked.
20:19And it just makes you sleep better at night.
20:23Oh!
20:24Hello.
20:25You just snuck in.
20:26How's it going?
20:27Oh, that looks like a big tool.
20:29It's...
20:30It is a big tool, yeah.
20:31My missus Henry.
20:32Hello.
20:32Nice to meet you.
20:33Hi, Henry.
20:34I'm a very firm gardener.
20:36Lovely to meet you, darling.
20:37Yes.
20:37Lovely to see you, Henry.
20:39It was gorgeous.
20:40Actually, so is he gorgeous, wasn't it?
20:43I mean, what the fuck was that?
20:44Wicked.
20:45I know.
20:46Right up my strata.
20:47It's even better in the heat.
20:49I can imagine.
20:50Better in the heat.
20:51I'm a married man.
20:51I'm a married man.
20:52It's gorgeous.
20:53This garden has got some amazing trees and plants in.
20:56Mature garden.
20:57That's where you're so fortunate.
20:59Have you got a mature garden?
21:03Um...
21:03Oh, Ollie.
21:05What's...
21:05I knew I couldn't talk to you.
21:07I know when you look at me like that.
21:09I know it's always dangerous.
21:11No.
21:12Absolutely not.
21:12You haven't at all grown up, have you, really?
21:15No, sorry.
21:15No.
21:15Yes, I have a very mature garden.
21:18Oh, I don't want to hear about it.
21:19I've seen it so many times.
21:21No.
21:22No.
21:22They've gone now.
21:23There's only...
21:24There's only nine left.
21:26Mummy!
21:33I don't want to think too hard.
21:35Just ride the wave above the water.
21:39You guys are coming from opposite ends of the spectrum.
21:42Okay.
21:42This is about kind of attachment theory.
21:44There's usually one person that's a bit avoidantly attached.
21:47And they're called avoidant-dismissive.
21:49And then the other person's anxiously attached.
21:52So this is very, very standard.
21:54They tend to pair up.
21:55Are they compatible?
21:55I've lured in an anxious clinger and I can't get rid of it.
21:58I've lured in a dismissive douche.
22:00Got a big old anxious clinger in the net.
22:02Okay, well...
22:04You know, one person is more relaxed,
22:07feels quite safe and secure in the whole thing,
22:09but the other person is to feel nervous about even slight things.
22:13If you can have empathy for that,
22:15and if you can react with kind of maybe gentleness
22:19and reassurance and holding,
22:22I think that I...
22:24Exactly!
22:25Exactly!
22:26My little anxious clinger, come me!
22:28Exactly!
22:29That kind of thing would go a long way.
22:32Okay.
22:32Do you know what I mean?
22:33Yeah.
22:34I think I'm quite an affectionate person.
22:36I know it sounds not like me,
22:38but when I'm with someone I'm very affectionate
22:40and I'm very caring.
22:41So if I've gone to bed and we haven't even hugged that day,
22:44I'm like, oh, I think I need that intimacy.
22:47Yeah, I think it's more important to me than it is to him.
22:51If you go and, you know, give a kiss,
22:54give a cuddle from behind,
22:55and that's your act of smoothing things over...
22:58She likes the sound of that.
23:00Clearing the air.
23:01Because that would feel good, right?
23:03Yeah.
23:03If something happened.
23:04That would go a long way, right?
23:06He's not awful to me by any means,
23:08but if he says harsh, snappy things,
23:10he doesn't seem to feel bad about it at all.
23:12Yeah, okay, I get that.
23:13I don't even feel like I even mean it.
23:16So it's kind of just like...
23:17Nothing.
23:18But James, those little feelings
23:20are the reason why you guys have been brought here today.
23:23Yeah, I get that.
23:23The build up of those little, little feelings.
23:26Okay.
23:27I'll come and give you a little cuddle.
23:30It wouldn't hurt.
23:32It sounds like you guys are just squeezed in all directions.
23:36Your lives have changed.
23:39Navigating that change is kind of where we're at.
23:41Yeah.
23:57The thought of having MS obviously is worrying.
24:00It's a horrific disease and my mum is having a terrible time with it.
24:04And I'm hoping by going to this meeting,
24:07I gain more insight and just learn more about the disease.
24:13I'm Bal Athwal.
24:14I'm a neurologist.
24:16And hopefully I'll be able to speak to you about the condition
24:19and what to look for.
24:21Okay, great.
24:22So multiple sclerosis, we think of as an inflammatory disease,
24:26primarily of the central nervous system.
24:28We're learning more and more about it as the years go by.
24:32But unfortunately, we still don't fully understand what causes the condition.
24:36But then I guess, what signs?
24:38I trip up occasionally and I don't really know what, I guess, signs to look out for.
24:44Let's say that you developed a sensory change in your legs.
24:49Okay.
24:50And that sensory change evolved and got worse over hours, perhaps a couple of days.
24:55And then it kind of seems to stabilise and then it gradually goes away.
25:00We will quite frequently as neurologists be asked to see patients,
25:03particularly young women, who have sensory symptoms or might be feeling clumsy.
25:09And there's often this concern, could this person have MS?
25:12Most of the time that doesn't come to anything.
25:15Okay.
25:15Most of the time we can reassure.
25:18Having seen it firsthand with my mother,
25:20I'd hate for my children to have to see me go through the same thing
25:24as I've had to see my mum go through.
25:26There is a genetic link, but it's a very weak genetic link so far as we know.
25:30Okay.
25:31So, if you've got a first-degree family relative, meaning sister, brother, mother,
25:35that kind of thing, then your chances are higher, but they're still quite low.
25:39Okay.
25:40All right, well, that's all sounding pretty good to me.
25:42I'm thrilled of it.
25:44Yeah.
25:44I'm very grateful that we've seen you, these that we've seen you.
25:47To be told that the chances of us having MS were quite low,
25:52I was obviously very relieved.
25:54I do feel like a weight has been lifted.
26:18Oh, such a little adventure out of London.
26:20It really makes a difference, doesn't it?
26:22It really does, especially in this weather.
26:23Heaven.
26:24How beautiful does this look?
26:25Oh, I can't wait.
26:27Love coming here.
26:34What's left to do?
26:35So, we've just got the bead in around the top to run around.
26:37Handles.
26:38Okay.
26:39And painting.
26:39I'm shooting the cover of my book in here on the 14th.
26:43Think it would be ready for them.
26:44I would have thought so, yeah.
26:45That's all I care about.
26:46Literally, that it's ready for them.
26:55Right.
26:56Time to oil up.
26:58Ooh.
27:00Are you tight anywhere?
27:03Everywhere.
27:09So silly.
27:10I do feel like Rosie does bring out that kind of naughtier, filthier side of me.
27:17Mummy friends might be a little bit too serious and talking about grades at school or someone's football team.
27:24And actually, you just want to talk about blowjobs.
27:30Well, that, my bear cub.
27:33Wasn't that heaven?
27:34Heaven.
27:34The dream.
27:35She got right in there.
27:36Oh, did she?
27:37Right in there.
27:38Did you get the happy ending that I paid extra for?
27:40Is that why I got it?
27:42Oh, my God.
27:43Thanks, babe.
27:44That's a little birthday treat-y.
27:47I think if you don't know Rosie very well, Rosie's honesty can be a bit much, but it is one
27:53of the reasons why I love her.
27:54I've actually just started getting something called PRP on my hair.
27:57I'm just on this hair journey and I want the thickest hair possible.
28:01Babes, I mean, I lent you some of mine.
28:02I've got it all over the shop.
28:03I know, you're so lucky.
28:04I've got it all over the shop.
28:05Oh, you have got it all over the shop, babe.
28:06No!
28:07I've seen it.
28:08So what is it?
28:09Sorry.
28:09So it's...
28:10They take the plasma out, they take your blood, they separate the plasma from your blood and then they...
28:15I don't know whether I'm getting this wrong.
28:17And they inject back into your scalp and it's meant to be really good for hair growth.
28:21I think I look pretty good for 35 and I want to live a long life.
28:26I want to be healthy and, you know, look decent.
28:30What's the point in living until 90 if you look like shit?
28:33How's things with you, babe?
28:35Everything going well with the man.
28:38So...
28:40We've slightly put it on pause.
28:46Oh, babe, I'm sorry.
28:47You know what? It's really difficult.
28:49He is so special and the most amazing person I've ever met.
28:58He is a solo father.
29:00Yeah.
29:00So it's kind of a new avenue for me as well.
29:04And I think he wasn't expecting to meet me.
29:08And I think for now we're just going to take a bit of time and see.
29:14Put it on the back burner for a bit.
29:20I don't have the strength to actually, like, speak to anyone else.
29:23But I don't want to close the doors to him.
29:25Let's just see what happens.
29:27Okay.
29:27From what you've told me already, he sounds like a decent man.
29:30He's not going to mess you around.
29:33It sounds like he's doing a decent thing by being honest now.
29:35Yeah, yeah.
29:36When it gets too serious.
29:36Yeah, absolutely.
29:37I just, yeah.
29:40He is different to anyone I've met before.
29:45And I really just admire everything about him.
29:48And he's a fucking amazing father.
29:51And he makes me feel seen like I've never been seen before.
29:56It's like we really get each other.
29:58So let's see.
30:00To see someone be such an incredible father made me think,
30:05you know, if that was something for us in our future,
30:07he would be an incredible father to my children.
30:10And it was kind of the respect that we had for each other
30:12that we realized that, like, now, unfortunately, is not our time.
30:18Yeah.
30:19Things will happen if it's meant to happen.
30:21I've always believed in that.
30:22Yeah, definitely.
30:23And you just will remember that as well.
30:24Yeah.
30:39I know you've moved the country.
30:41We don't have to be, like, three hours late.
30:43Oh, my God.
30:43I'm so sorry.
30:45I'm so sorry.
30:46I'm joking.
30:47Rolling up.
30:48Fly like a mother.
30:50Yeah.
30:51You think I came from another...
30:54Gorgeous.
30:54Nice.
30:55Drawing it back up using that four count.
30:57Gonna hold it down now.
30:58Good.
30:59Hold it.
30:59Shoulders down away from those ears.
31:01Ribs in.
31:01You're chilling.
31:02You're in your happy place.
31:03You're anywhere but here, probably.
31:04You're on holiday.
31:05Good.
31:05You're breathing.
31:09What do you normally go for in here?
31:11I love the, um, steel-cut oat porridge.
31:14Which is so boring.
31:16Porridge.
31:17And the, um, avocado toast sticks got crispy chickpeas.
31:20It's delightful.
31:21What do you want?
31:22I'm gonna go for something like the baked eggs.
31:25Right.
31:26With a little bit of lamb on the side.
31:28Oh, my God.
31:29Ew.
31:30You're such an antagonist, aren't you?
31:32You just love winding me up in life.
31:34I think he does get away with murder with me
31:36because there are certain things that she does
31:38or she tries to wind me up and I'm like,
31:40if this was anyone else...
31:43I wonder how you're gonna find living in the country.
31:46Everyone says, good morning.
31:47How are you?
31:48Are you the kind of person that says,
31:49good morning to everyone on a dog walk?
31:51That's James.
31:51Good morning.
31:52Yes, I do, actually.
31:53Because they're very smiley.
31:55And I'm just like...
31:55I won't ask them how they are,
31:56I don't really care.
31:58But I'd say, good morning, at least.
32:00Mm.
32:00I can see that in you.
32:01Or I'd say, sorry, excuse me,
32:02your dog's done a poo.
32:04Are you that person?
32:05Nothing.
32:06Are you that person?
32:07I'm joking, are you not?
32:08Are you that person?
32:09I don't know the dog poo where my kids play
32:11and not tell them to pick it up.
32:12No, obviously I pick it up,
32:13but what I hate is when the poo is still coming out.
32:16No, no, no, I won't do that.
32:16And someone goes,
32:18let me get the bag out of my fucking pocket, please.
32:21I ate poo when I was a child.
32:23Did you?
32:25My mum caught me eating dog shit.
32:27Okay.
32:28Well, that's interesting.
32:29I mean, she said to my mum, I was like, sorry?
32:32How did you let that happen?
32:35Thank you so much.
32:36Very hot to be good.
32:36Thank you so much.
32:37That looks delicious.
32:38Anyway, I just want to hear about you
32:39because you've got a lot going on.
32:42So, James and I went to therapy.
32:44Great.
32:45The good thing is that James and I spoke about our IQ
32:48more than we ever have in a space that was quiet.
32:51In a controlled environment.
32:53What's the reason you guys went in the first place?
32:55We were just arguing so much, like, about the same things.
32:58And a lot of it was, like, arguing about our time.
33:01So, like, I'm really prioritising my career.
33:03I really want to be super successful.
33:05I want to make shit loads of money.
33:07And do you find it tricky the fact he is not going to work every day?
33:11No.
33:11You like that?
33:12I actually like it because I really want one of us to be at home with Wilbs.
33:16Does he want to do it?
33:17To be honest, a lot of the time he does say, like,
33:20can't we just put him in nursery or something like that?
33:22But part of me is like, well, what are you going to do all day?
33:25When I had India, I became a single mum quite quickly
33:30and I needed some help.
33:33Nursery was a really positive thing
33:34and it gave me some space to be me again.
33:37So, I completely understand why James feels the need
33:41to have a break from parenting.
33:41It's a lot.
33:43And although he's not working every day,
33:45you're still around a child.
33:46You can't switch off.
33:49Well, I'm very excited for your birthday.
33:51Looking forward to seeing everyone.
33:52That's going to be so nice to celebrate.
33:53Have you spoken to Rosie at all?
33:55No.
33:55You haven't?
33:56No. Not since we last filmed.
33:58What?
34:00Back in the day on Made in Chelsea, Rosie and I didn't really get on.
34:03I never really figured out why.
34:06I feel like she just kind of had a problem with me,
34:09didn't really like me and my vibe or whatever.
34:12And any opportunity that she got to have a little pop at me,
34:16she was right there, ready.
34:18I kind of feel like I am at a place where I'm happy to be friendly
34:24and I have to say most of the time I don't feel like it's reciprocated.
34:29I feel like she has zero interest in my life
34:32and very little interest in being friendly and polite.
34:36There's something I can't, like, figure out with her.
34:39She's quite cold.
34:39I know I'm cold too.
34:41But I don't know if it's that she just doesn't like me.
34:46I don't think she doesn't like you.
34:47What do you think it is?
34:49I don't know.
34:50I do feel like I am slightly in the middle between Lucy and Rosie.
34:53I honestly thought things were going pretty well last year,
34:56but it does feel like maybe this whole situation isn't going to change.
35:03You're both pretty strong businesswomen.
35:05That's why I think you're quite similar, but...
35:07Oh, you do? Jesus.
35:08Well, you are. You're both strong.
35:10You're strong, independent businesswomen.
35:12OK.
35:13Let's see how the birthday lunch goes.
35:16And...
35:17See what it's like when you see it.
35:19with the excitement of the IDO relationship,
35:22be sure to her and her captain or captain at her circle in the corner.
35:23Let's go right down the side and I remind her who it's like.
35:40With a man, he's going to be taking these takes it out.
35:47Hello.
35:48Good evening.
35:49Wow.
35:50Look at this.
35:55Hey, Gaga.
35:56Hello, Figgy.
35:58You look amazing.
35:59How do you, Mummy?
36:00How are you?
36:08Hello.
36:09Don't you look gorgeous.
36:12So gorgeous.
36:14How are you?
36:14Hanging.
36:16So normal.
36:17I love you.
36:17You look stunning.
36:18You look heaven.
36:19Rosie, you look glorious.
36:21She's such a bitch, isn't she?
36:22She always looks so well put together.
36:25Well, she's certainly well put together, but she looks beautiful.
36:28A glass of champagne?
36:29It'll help the hangover.
36:31I went to this thing called Tuna Fight Club at the supermarket of dreams
36:35and they wheel out a £13,000 tuna.
36:39And if I eat tuna ever again, I'm going to vomit.
36:41It was my friend's divorce party.
36:43But it was really good fun.
36:44Thank you so much.
36:45So you are there with James and Lucy.
36:49By the way, everything is fine with you and Lucy, isn't it?
36:53Yeah, I mean, it's the show that's brought us together.
36:55There's no issue.
36:56But had the show not brought us together, this wouldn't even be a thing to discuss.
37:01No.
37:02I just don't think I have anything to relate to with Lucy.
37:07For her, being vegan is like her identity.
37:10And for me, I love eating steak.
37:14It's not my identity, though.
37:17It's...
37:19Oh.
37:22Well, he wouldn't have to go today if it could be tomorrow.
37:25He can go today.
37:25Go today.
37:26Go today.
37:26Well...
37:27Go today.
37:31Okay, all right.
37:33Cheers, bye-bye.
37:34I'm now just freaking out because obviously the stone was supposed to get fitted today.
37:39And it doesn't fit.
37:41I think it's quite an easy thing to fix, to be honest.
37:46Really?
37:47What do you want me to say?
37:48We're going to have to burn the kitchen down.
37:51If you want, I'll take the flowers.
37:53Okay, cool.
37:54Well, maybe you should take them and you can give them to Rosie.
37:57Say, hun, I missed you.
37:59I bought some flowers.
38:03Um...
38:03No?
38:03Probably not.
38:05Hello.
38:06Hi.
38:08How are you?
38:10Hello, my boy.
38:14Hi.
38:14Oh, hello.
38:16Happy birthday.
38:18Hello.
38:19How are you doing?
38:20How's it going?
38:21Good.
38:21How are you?
38:22You look gorgeous.
38:23How are you?
38:24How are you?
38:25Hi.
38:26Hello, how are you doing?
38:27Good.
38:29How are you doing?
38:29Yeah, good, thank you.
38:30It felt a bit awkward because I hadn't seen Lucy in a while and we're not friends.
38:36If it wasn't for Binky's birthday, we're not going to hang out.
38:40Delicious.
38:40Wow.
38:41Thank you so much.
38:42It does look delicious.
38:43How have you been, Rosie?
38:45Good, thank you.
38:45I haven't seen you.
38:46Ages.
38:47I thought I'd bump into you more and pass the screen because I'm always in this.
38:51I've just been busy just working.
38:52I went to the Bahamas to see my sister, which was lovely.
38:55Nice.
38:57I think it said that you're dating someone.
38:59Mm, that's exciting.
39:01Mm-hmm.
39:01Yeah?
39:03How long have you been dating?
39:04Um, a few months.
39:07Ooh.
39:08Nice.
39:08Yeah.
39:09How is that going?
39:10Been all right?
39:11Yeah, it's great.
39:12Thanks, guys.
39:13You don't want to talk about it?
39:15I don't know.
39:16Oh, I don't know either.
39:18Sorry.
39:18I don't know either.
39:21What?
39:21Soon as Lucy mentioned Rosie's dating life, my heart did drop.
39:26She's now on pause with this man.
39:28I mean, you're not going to be in the best head space.
39:30You're going to be feeling a bit shit.
39:31So it was probably the worst question to be asked that time by probably the worst person.
39:41Did you know that I was going to go and see a neurologist about MS?
39:44I didn't know.
39:45Did you not?
39:46No.
39:46Well, I did.
39:46And it was actually a really positive chance.
39:51Apparently, MS is genetic.
39:53Right.
39:54But there's a very small chance that we might have it.
39:58Well, that's good news.
39:59Yeah.
40:00But by my age, you knew you had something really wrong with you.
40:03100%, yeah.
40:04I did you as early as that.
40:05I never knew I had it.
40:06I knew there was something wrong with me.
40:08But I still went on and did the things that were fun.
40:10Right.
40:11If you'd known you'd had MS, you wouldn't have attempted to ski,
40:14you wouldn't have attempted to play tennis.
40:16100%, darling.
40:17Yeah, it would have held you back.
40:18So it's good that you didn't know.
40:19Yeah, quite.
40:19I went for a quick meeting yesterday.
40:21We had nine bottles of wine between four of us.
40:23Between four?
40:24Oh, my God.
40:24How are you still alive?
40:25You're not hanging out your ass.
40:26I would be dead.
40:27I'd be dead.
40:28You're absolutely fine.
40:28Do you feel fine now?
40:29I feel fine now.
40:30Oh, were you there too?
40:31No, I went to a divorce party last night.
40:34Oh.
40:37Love that.
40:39I honestly don't know if she's like,
40:41why are you even talking to me?
40:42Or if it's that she just doesn't actually have the capability
40:47to converse on a level with someone.
40:50I get the vibe that she thinks she's better than everyone else.
40:53I find it quite strenuous to be mentally engaged by her.
40:58I just don't think you need to be fake and go the extra mile
41:01to be interested in someone's life when I couldn't really care less.
41:08How's Willoughby?
41:10Yeah, Willoughby's good.
41:11He's signed with a modelling agent.
41:13Mine got rejected.
41:14Did they?
41:15Yeah, I thought, cheeky cunts.
41:16What?
41:17They said, they are cute, but we'll wait till they're four.
41:21OK.
41:22How does that pie taste?
41:24I said, thanks.
41:28How are you finding being in a building site with a toddler?
41:33Stressful as far.
41:34But I think we're at the point where the light is at the end of the tunnel.
41:36Have you ever had therapy?
41:38Oh, what, as a marriage therapy?
41:40I think it's important.
41:41I think a lot of couples need that.
41:43I kind of saw therapy as last resort.
41:45Yeah.
41:45Whereas Lucy, as you know, is very proactive.
41:47And she sees it as, if we learn one thing that makes things better in our relationship,
41:51then it's a good thing.
41:52It makes you a team again.
41:53We definitely felt closer afterwards, didn't we?
41:55Yeah.
41:56It was good to see.
41:56And we've argued a lot less.
41:58Sometimes, in a relationship, the wife, maybe, has to get the man in a good mood
42:03before he will open up to be able to even contemplate the fact
42:07that he might be wrong about some things.
42:09But I wouldn't marry someone in the first place who I hadn't, I didn't have an open relationship
42:15where you can speak.
42:17You know, you want to make sure that the foundations of that are there in the beginning
42:21so that you're not trying to pick the best time to speak to your husband.
42:24I couldn't think of anything worse than walking on eggshells.
42:26But you don't always know because every marriage starts with great happiness.
42:30But you get, things get lost in translation.
42:33Stressful situations mean that you just, like, don't prioritise it.
42:37Which, I really wanted to prioritise it, so that's how I went.
42:41I don't think Rosie has the ability to understand where I'm coming from with this situation
42:44because she isn't in a marriage, she doesn't have kids.
42:47You just don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
42:49But thank you.
42:51Thank you for your input.
42:53Come bearing gifts from your husband, Max.
42:55Aww, amazing.
42:57That's very lovely.
42:58My favourite bottle.
42:59And we like Brunard as well.
43:00It means he's spent a penny, which we liked.
43:02Well done, Max.
43:04It's gone up in your estimation.
43:05Well done, Max.
43:05That's sweet, that's thoughtful.
43:07That's a good boy.
43:08Let's get rid of this garbage.
43:09It's forgiven, yes.
43:10Get rid of that.
43:11That cheap house shit you bought.
43:12It's my favourite.
43:14So, I had some help from Tally to write a poem for you.
43:20Aww.
43:21I hope I can do it justice.
43:22Binks, to know and love you is to have a friend for life.
43:26A wonderful bestie.
43:28Businesswoman, mummy and wife.
43:30It was filming Made in Chelsea where we first met.
43:3415 years of friendship.
43:35Memories I won't forget.
43:39We've come a long way.
43:40Less hair extensions and fake tan.
43:43We lived for a wild night out and a fun last minute plan.
43:47You've consistently had my back.
43:50You're loving and kind.
43:52We all enjoy how you will say whatever comes to mind.
44:00I, I did feel a little bit sick.
44:04You're one in a million Binks, a best friend that I treasure.
44:08I promise to always be there for you and your family forever.
44:11Aww.
44:12I feel so immensely proud of who you are and everything you do.
44:16So, here's to your birthday, to friendship, but mostly here's to you.
44:20Aww.
44:20Thank you, my God.
44:23Love you.
44:24Happy birthday.
44:25Love you.
44:26It was just like sickly sweet.
44:28And also, it's her 35th birthday, not her wedding.
44:32I'm so tired now.
44:33I've got to work when I get home.
44:35I drank last night, yeah.
44:36Are you going to go and see your boyfriend?
44:38No.
44:39Is he not your boyfriend?
44:41Are you going to go home?
44:41No.
44:42Okay.
44:43That's why you don't want to talk about it.
44:45It's over.
44:46It's over.
44:46Is it over?
44:47No.
44:48Is it actually?
44:48Yeah.
44:50No, that's really sad.
44:51I'm sorry.
44:53You're okay?
44:54Yeah.
44:56I guess I'd rather just shut down a conversation with Lucy if it's about my
44:59personal life because it just feels uncomfortable.
45:02So what I'll do when I'll stand up, I just want a quick toast.
45:05Oh.
45:06Oh.
45:07Oh.
45:07So, all right, we've all been friends for lots and lots of years through
45:11different times, all starting on that silly show that we love.
45:15All grown up.
45:16We're all a bit greyer, a bit gayer.
45:18It speaks us out.
45:19Yeah.
45:19And I think we're all very lucky to have each other.
45:22I really do believe it.
45:23Cheers to you, Binks.
45:24Cheers.
45:24Happy birthday.
45:24Thank you very much.
45:26Thank you for coming.
45:27Cheers.
45:27Cheers.
45:27Cheers.
45:28That was a very nice speech.
45:30That was a lovely speech.
45:30Cheers.
45:31We love you.
45:31Love you too.
45:32And thank you for my parents.
45:42Cute.
45:43Love that.
45:44Hi, Willoughby.
45:45You're a pro.
45:48I got shit on.
45:50I do want to talk about the kitchen.
45:53Or people will be able to cook and use the kitchen.
45:55I thought you were a bit quiet with Lucy.
45:57I'm just, like, not friends with her.
45:58That's the thing.
45:59I'm prepared to be, like, civil and be friendly for Binky's sake.
46:02And I feel like she's just, like, can't even do that.
46:06So, Lucy's book, we're going to launch?
46:08Yes.
46:08Who are we waiting for, actually?
46:10Oh, Tiff.
46:10Tiff's coming.
46:11Oh, Tiff.
46:12And Rosie.
46:12Tiff.
46:12She said, I eat meat, and I have no interest in vegan food.
46:16What?
46:19Good.
46:20Great.
46:23Good.
46:42Woo
46:44Whoa!
46:46Woo
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