Skip to playerSkip to main content
  • 9 hours ago

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:10Previously on Surreal Estate
00:11I'm afraid I broke my promise
00:14You're fired
00:15So I saw Megan the other day
00:17She told me you two were on the outs
00:19You didn't even say stay
00:21You said goodbye
00:23I love you, Megan
00:24You make up stories about the things that Elvis told you
00:29I'm going to give you more time
00:30But remember, if you inspire scornful laughter
00:34An eternity of agony awaits you
00:42Luke
00:45Luke
00:46Come on, Luke
00:48Wakey, wakey
00:50I don't want to
00:51He turned off the TV over an hour ago
00:55He's asleep
00:56Come on
00:58First
00:59Come here
01:00Come on
01:02Real close
01:04Come here
01:08No
01:11Still can't do it
01:13Do what?
01:15Jump into you
01:16Never mind
01:17Come on
01:18It's time
01:19I don't want to do this to my dad
01:21Luke
01:22He made your mom leave home
01:25If he's out of the picture
01:27She'll come back
01:28Don't you want your mother to come back?
01:32Yeah
01:32Then we have to do this
01:34Let's go
01:40Aren't we forgetting something?
01:51Come on
01:52Come on, Slugger
02:00Don't scroll around, Luke
02:02Big shot to the head
02:04And then again
02:05Don't stop until you see blood
02:08Lots of blood
02:14Come on
02:16Better, better, better
02:17Swing
02:23Good job
02:24Way to go, Luke
02:25Are you okay?
02:40Let him be mad
02:43Let him be mad
03:05Get out of this
03:06advise
03:06Love
03:07Will you?
03:12You
03:18Get out of now
03:20Don't stop
03:20Get out of this
03:20Go
03:21Click
03:21Please
03:22Don't strain
03:22Go
03:252018
03:26Burka
03:26Hold
03:33it's okay he's gone now
03:40we're going home
04:02so i got a whole rundown on demonology from phil but i should have seen it coming don't be silly
04:08how could you know i should have known that he was your old childhood imaginary friend who rose
04:14from a lake to take vengeance come on roman that's a bad horror movie and yet phil said that tyler
04:22had
04:22some kind of encounter with a certain type of demon in original hebrew he was called sedim sadak
04:28or the laughing demon tyler laughs a lot no in fact i laughed once you know it's something he said
04:34he
04:34got all weird and defensive so it doesn't like to be laughed at no it hates it it can kill
04:40him
04:42what does it want it wants chaos it wants to jump into good people and make them do bad things
04:48so how do we stop it we need to know its name we have to call it out by name
04:52otherwise nothing
04:53else will work i thought it was that saddam dukakis thing demons have a binomial system of nomenclature
04:59like plants the genus and species we have a rough idea of the genus but we need to call him
05:05out by
05:05his real name out loud phil says there's a church here in town st ignatius they might have the book
05:12of baphomet what's that they're like a regional roll call for active demons a lot of churches have
05:20them hidden in the basement it's a big secret will they let you just check it out no it is
05:26a little
05:26more complicated than that i've made some enhancements to our mee technology he said a demon like this
05:33will eat your mee beam for breakfast you'll have to extract it before anyone else can touch it you're
05:38have to come up with something a hell of a lot stronger if you're gonna wax it my work is
05:44evidently
05:45cut out for me we have a showing in like 15 minutes that's not all
05:58i still haven't told you guys the bad part oh this has been the good part phil says if we
06:03don't stop this thing right now it branches out it bifurcates and spreads like a virus
06:07right now he just wants me but if he gets me he's gonna go after all the people i care
06:11about the
06:11people i love the people in this room then he goes after the people you love and so on and
06:19so on
06:26i hate the bad part
06:28i hate the bad part
06:58he's the priest who turned gay at easter a few years ago actually he's the priest who announced
07:03he was gay and leaving the church during an easter service well his timing was unfortunate come on
07:09what's a better time to come out than easter all those pastels what is it you want miss so i
07:17need
07:17to take a look at the runes in your basement snap a few pics flip through that book of baphomet
07:21if it's
07:21available your mr orley has been speaking out of school you do know that mr orley works with vatican
07:28now right so like the vatican some serious juice for you uh monochromatic types our basement is
07:37unavailable to the public it's old and crumbling and dangerous and our insurance simply okay the fact
07:43of the matter is mr orley could get the cardinal's office to call the archbishop who will call the
07:48bishop and eventually we get down to you back at the house types but we just don't have time for
07:53that so if i can get into the basement for five minutes absolutely not good day miss remember it
08:01because i will be back
08:06yes
08:07yes
08:15yes
08:17yes
08:24yes
08:26yes
08:26yes
08:34yes
08:35it's just down the street yeah it's kind of become our staff's unofficial sofa fort so i was wondering if
08:43wow how much all right i'll give it some thought yeah thanks frank uh-huh bye
08:53what'd you find out no go priest decided to play a little game with me called dick in the diocese
08:59yeah phil said he'd be a problem he told me about his boss too the bishop he used to box
09:03with the
09:03jesuits likes to raise a glass or two and then looks for somebody to fight with
09:07a brawling bishop
09:10phil thought it would be useful
09:17i uh i'm sorry so i gotta
09:19yep sure go ahead
09:20i'll catch up with you later bye
09:23megan it's great to hear from
09:26my mom
09:27my mom
09:29well when did they bring her in
09:34megan it's her heart
09:36a friend found her in the living room unconscious
09:41did you know she was taking ace inhibitors
09:43i uh no i had no idea yeah can i see her we have her stabilized but uh
09:52try not to get her worked up
10:01hey how you feeling
10:06i'm tired
10:08you need to rest now okay
10:13it was him
10:15who was what
10:17the man
10:20he claimed to be a friend of yours tyler something
10:26tyler mcneil he was one of the voices from all those years ago
10:33he came to my house as soon as he pushed his way through my door i knew who he was
10:40what he was
10:42and he said all these horrible things about me that he shouldn't have known
10:47and the awful part was that i i couldn't disagree because he was right no he wasn't
10:56and he had no right to mess with our family
11:00but look at me
11:02we made our peace
11:05we are good
11:09you know how happy dad would be to know how good we are
11:12luke
11:14be careful
11:17it's not the man
11:19it's what's inside him
11:23i'm
11:35i'm
11:50you
11:51Get the door, please.
11:55I didn't expect to see you here again.
12:01I need a favor.
12:05There's a certain piece of technology
12:08we developed in spring of last year.
12:10I believe we codenamed it the God Floss.
12:17Auggie, I have 81 projects in the pipeline right now.
12:23I can't recall every single point.
12:27I need a show for a friend.
12:30Yeah. I wonder who that might be.
12:33In this one case, I think...
12:35In this one case. That's what you said the last time.
12:39Which apparently was a warm-up for this time.
12:41I swear, this will never...
12:43Just...
12:45Don't.
12:47If it wasn't so important...
12:49If it wasn't so important.
12:50A kid in an attic here, a monster in the basement there,
12:54Luke in a graveyard, wherever...
12:58There'll always be something, won't it?
13:20Geoffrey, bring me the file and the prototype name
13:23to the God Flosser.
13:25Project number KVD-1889.
13:32Give it all to Mr. Ripley on his way out.
13:41We're finished, August.
13:44I can respect you leaving Astra for your principles.
13:49But you never really left, did you?
13:52And now you're asking me to risk my job, my reputation,
13:59everything that I have worked for.
14:05It's too much.
14:09I'll come get my stuff.
14:11Preferably while you're not there.
14:30You really think it'll work?
14:32From five yards away, they all look the same.
14:34And if anybody stops you, just say you're helping the bishop.
14:38What's wrong with the bishop?
14:40He drinks too much and gets into fights.
14:44Oh, I don't know.
14:45Impersonating nuns, it just seems...
14:48Um, awesome?
14:49Um, I was going to say sinful
14:50and really hard to do alone.
14:58Lomax!
15:04What?
15:12We're going to hell, we're going to hell, we're going to hell.
15:14We're doing this to stop the demon.
15:15It's got to be a mitigating factor.
15:17Come on.
15:26Do you think they know?
15:27I think they know.
15:27We look exactly like them.
15:29How would they know?
15:30I feel like I'm radiating Greek Orthodox.
15:34Ugh.
15:36Oh, there's a staircase.
15:37Sister?
15:38Shit, cover me.
15:40Cover you.
15:42Sister?
15:43Yes, Father?
15:44Could you give us a hand?
15:46Oh, I really need to...
15:47Just a few more boxes there.
15:50Okay.
15:59Bye.
16:01Okay.
16:11Bye.
16:14Bye.
16:18Bye.
16:19I don't know.
17:05I really need to be going now, Father.
17:08What is so urgent?
17:10Well, the Bishop had one of his bad nights.
17:15Oh, dear.
17:16Yeah.
17:17He was at that place that he goes.
17:21Hot against Auburn.
17:23Oh, dear God.
17:24And it was karaoke night.
17:26I know, right?
17:28There was a booth full of Lutherans there.
17:30And, well, you know the Bishop.
17:33When they start talking smack about the 95 Theses.
17:36God help us.
17:38And that's why I'm here.
17:50Sit, sit, sit!
17:53Come on!
17:55No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hell no!
17:59Anyway, I really need to go.
18:01By all means, tell the Bishop he's in our prayers.
18:05You bet.
18:12Did you get it?
18:12You got all of it.
18:13Come on!
18:23Shit!
18:30Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!
18:33Ah!
18:35Ah!ora!
18:38Ah!
18:43Susan?
18:45Crash.
18:46What are you doing here?
18:47You kids don't mind me.
18:49Just go.
18:50I just stopped by to say, like, hi.
18:53But listen, Susan, I kind of knew you had a secret,
18:56but this is my top six guest.
18:58No, no, no, no.
18:59It's not what it looks like.
19:00I mean, I was raised Methodist,
19:01but I'm sure we can work something out.
19:03No, no, no, please.
19:05Come this way.
19:06I'll try to explain.
19:10Okay.
19:17Crash, I know this looks really ridiculous,
19:21but you need to know that I am not a nun.
19:26I am just...
19:28Second to none?
19:38You know, I had a dream like this in junior high.
20:00Luke, my surprise.
20:02I'm afraid we've gotten a little cross with these, Tyler.
20:04You want me to talk?
20:07Sure.
20:12Look, Tyler, I don't want to lose you as a client.
20:14You're goddamn right you don't.
20:20I can sell your house for top dollar,
20:22and I can get you into a place that you love.
20:25That's what I do.
20:25See, here's the thing, Luke.
20:28Now, you've made it clear
20:29you don't want to be in business with me.
20:32So why in the world should I be in business with you?
20:36Because we're friends, Tyler.
20:40That's what friends do.
20:43Look, I'm having a little get-together
20:45on Saturday night with all my friends.
20:47In fact,
20:50I'd really like it if you were there.
20:53All of your friends,
20:54together in one place.
20:58I wouldn't miss that for the world.
21:01I'd invite my mom,
21:03but she's in the hospital.
21:06Nothing serious, I hope.
21:09She'll be fine.
21:11I hope so.
21:12Give her my best.
21:15I'll do that.
21:37Luck?
21:39I've effectively managed to triple the output
21:41of our legacy MEE technology.
21:43Enough to solve our little problem
21:45with Mr. McNeil?
21:46If you can weaken him first,
21:48we have a chance.
21:51Okay.
22:01So I need you to talk me out of something.
22:04You know the Telltale Heart?
22:06Bar right down the block?
22:08I know it well.
22:09It just went up for sale.
22:11Well,
22:12I'm thinking about buying it.
22:15I know.
22:16It's dumb.
22:17It's middle-aged crazy.
22:23It seems to me
22:24a move of a man
22:25who wants control
22:26over a place
22:27that is meaningful to him.
22:30Well,
22:31that is way loftier
22:32than my middle-aged crazy theory,
22:34but damn,
22:35I don't know.
22:37I wonder.
22:38Is real estate all I am?
22:41It's what you're very good at.
22:48I don't know.
22:50The thought of owning a place,
22:51people just get together
22:53to have a good time,
22:54real people.
22:55The ones still breathing?
22:56Yeah.
22:57Them.
22:59Just sounds good.
23:02Luke,
23:02I don't know what to tell you.
23:03It's reckless.
23:05It's impulsive.
23:06It's impractical.
23:09And I absolutely think
23:12you should do it.
23:14You really aren't good
23:15at the whole talking me out
23:16of this thing.
23:17To employ a sports metaphor,
23:19perhaps
23:20it's time for a big swing.
23:26Yeah, it is.
23:28In August,
23:31I'm just getting warmed up.
23:51Hey.
23:53Here to see your mom?
23:55How is she?
23:56Same.
23:57Stable.
23:58I'm going to keep her around a while.
24:02So what else is new?
24:07I broke up with Hunter.
24:12That's a shame.
24:15We wanted different things,
24:18so...
24:18You have the energy for a walk?
24:21Maybe a short one?
24:29It just feels like
24:31the last few years
24:32I've been stuck
24:32in a holding pattern.
24:34It's like at the airport,
24:36walking alongside
24:37the moving walkway,
24:39hoofing it along
24:40at the same speed,
24:41but...
24:42everybody seems
24:43to be moving past you.
24:46Well, the agency's done well.
24:47Well, that's not progress.
24:49It's stasis.
24:52So I've decided
24:53I need to make a bold move.
24:55Or two.
24:58Yeah?
25:00Well, first...
25:02I'm buying a bar.
25:04A bar?
25:06Was a sports car
25:07not available?
25:09I'm buying the heart.
25:10A tell-tale heart.
25:15There is something else
25:17I wanted to talk to you about.
25:19About us.
25:22Us.
25:25I want us
25:26to be us again.
25:29I see.
25:32So,
25:33I put together
25:34an offer
25:35for you to consider.
25:37Given today's
25:38market conditions...
25:44Club soda.
25:46It wouldn't do
25:47for the prospective buyer
25:48to be potted
25:49in his own establishment.
25:50So you heard.
25:53You know, Lloyd,
25:54I've been coming here
25:55for a couple of years
25:56and I don't think
25:57we've ever really spoken.
25:58So I thought,
25:59maybe since
26:00we're going to be
26:01like working together,
26:02we should get
26:03to know each other.
26:05I was looking
26:05at the bar's financials.
26:07I didn't see a line item
26:08that included your salary.
26:10How much do we pay you?
26:13Enough.
26:16Oh.
26:17Well, I only ask
26:18because a change
26:19in management
26:19is also a great opportunity
26:21to make any other changes
26:22that might be good.
26:23Like hours
26:24or more live music
26:26or local bands.
26:32Anyhow,
26:33if you think of something,
26:34let me know.
26:38By the way,
26:39I asked the current management
26:40if I could close the place
26:41down for a private party
26:42this Saturday night.
26:44Sort of a celebration.
26:46Make sure there's
26:47lots of champagne.
26:48Good stuff.
26:49Should be fun.
26:51Lots of laughs.
26:53Do you ever
26:55laugh, Lloyd?
27:01Well, Saturday
27:02would be a great time
27:03to start.
27:22You got the stuff?
27:25Money first.
27:35Oh, baby.
27:40You might want to be
27:41careful with that.
27:42Shit so much
27:42as touches your skin
27:43and your dad
27:44is dinner theater.
27:47Science.
27:54Oh.
27:57By the way,
27:59if you forget
28:00you ever saw me,
28:02you won't have to worry
28:03about your kids
28:04finding this stuff
28:05poured over their
28:05cornflakes one morning.
28:20So everyone knows
28:21what's going on?
28:22They're excited.
28:23Most of them have never
28:24been to an exorcism before.
28:26I told them to be ready
28:28for anything
28:28and everyone laughed
28:30big at the toast.
28:31Anyone seen Zoe?
28:33No, she's still at the office
28:34looking for the name.
28:36Oh, that's right.
28:37Is your death ray
28:39going to work without it?
28:41We can only hope.
28:55Zip.
28:56Zero.
28:56Zilch.
28:57Nada.
28:58Oh, come on.
28:59Between a room full of
29:00people laughing
29:00and your jolt
29:01from August Godflosser?
29:03That demon,
29:04whatever his name is,
29:05won't survive the night.
29:07Yeah, but Phil said
29:08that you're going
29:08to need a name.
29:09Oh, come on.
29:10I want you here
29:11for this speech.
29:12We're just up the street.
29:13Yeah, I know
29:14where you guys are.
29:14I'm just, I'm just
29:15going to keep looking
29:15a little bit longer,
29:16okay?
29:19Oh.
29:28Uh, excuse me
29:30for a second.
29:31Yeah.
29:35All good?
29:37Good enough.
29:38Has anybody seen
29:39our guest of honor lately?
29:42Oh, dear.
29:43What if he got suspicious
29:44and left?
29:49We've got to find him.
30:06I saw you were talking to Tyler.
30:08Oh, get over it, Luke.
30:10No, where is he?
30:11Where did he go?
30:13He's probably just gone
30:14to the little client's room.
30:25Your knee, your knee,
30:26your knee, your knee,
30:27your knee.
30:40Nothing here.
30:56Sorry.
30:58Go ahead.
31:01Go ahead.
31:28Everybody, just have your attention
31:30for just a second.
31:32First of all, I'd like to thank you all
31:34for joining me in my latest
31:36manifestation of my midlife crisis.
31:42So recently, I've decided that I've been
31:44a passive protagonist in my own life story
31:47for too long.
31:49So,
31:52I'm buying this bar.
31:54A place to get together with friends.
31:57Old friends
31:59and new.
32:10But that's not all.
32:13I've asked Megan
32:14to marry me.
32:19So please,
32:21raise a glass to us.
32:23Our new place
32:25and our new life.
32:27Cheers!
32:28Cheers!
32:37Now,
32:40here's to my oldest friend.
32:42Who, ironically,
32:45is hiding
32:48in my newest friend.
32:50As a child,
32:52I knew him as Elvis,
32:53the elephant.
32:55The most evil demon from hell
32:59to ever be outsmarted
33:00by a seven-year-old.
33:08No!
33:10Wait!
33:13And I just found out
33:18that he tried to kill
33:19everyone in this room,
33:21but he even screwed that up.
33:24That's true!
33:31So, ladies and gentlemen,
33:33please raise a glass
33:34to tonight's entertainment
33:36since I didn't have
33:38the budget
33:39to hire a proper clown.
33:41Ladies and gentlemen,
33:43Tyler
33:44Mac
33:46Neal!
33:54Charismalic!
33:56Charismalic.
33:58His name
33:58is Charismalic.
34:09Charismalic.
34:14Charismalic.
34:20Hey, you okay?
34:24Doctor.
34:25Who's this?
34:26Sir, are you okay?
34:27He's got a pulse.
34:28He's breathing.
34:29So, what did I miss?
34:31Well, you know Max?
34:33What really happened?
34:36So when we couldn't find Tyler,
34:38I thought I'd check the back, you know, just in case.
34:41Sure enough, there he was, coming out of the kitchen.
34:44And I thought, what's he doing in the kitchen?
34:50The champagne flutes did not look right.
34:53Then I saw Lurch.
34:54What?
34:55Whatever.
34:57There was something at the bottom of each of the glasses
34:59and fingerprints on all of them.
35:01Clearly, it had been spiked with something nasty.
35:05I know death when I smell it.
35:07So we swapped out the glasses and we did the toast as planned.
35:10But I gave Roman the heads up because he's the boss.
35:15So, Tyler McNeil, like the real Tyler McNeil,
35:19he's going to be okay, right?
35:21I don't know.
35:23Crash went with the paramedics.
35:27Thank all of you.
35:29And, uh, you were right.
35:32We needed the name.
35:35Yes.
35:36The devil is in the details.
35:41Don't worry.
35:52Oh, my God.
36:08this is dr. decker you know what to do oh rochelle i was just at a work related affair
36:21i hoped you might be here tonight
36:25perhaps we can talk soon no rush we have all the time in the world
36:39shell i didn't realize you're here i just left you
36:57i thought i had more time
36:58everyone does
37:30so today
37:32we can only be grateful for the kindness and the wisdom that he shared with us
38:08now always do what you are afraid to do ralph waldo emerson
38:19even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely
38:27luda bitterest tears shed over graves
38:30her words left unspoken and deeds left undone
38:38harriet beecher stowe
38:50other friends have flown before and on the morrow
38:54he will leave me as my hopes have flown before
38:59both the raven
39:03nevermore
39:29i can't believe he's gone
39:32i know what are we gonna do now we're gonna be good
39:39and we are going to be great
39:47and we are going to be great
39:48and we are going to be great
40:08i'll meet you later at the place with the thing
40:17love you
40:19love you too
40:29why don't you let me close up
40:31love you
40:31love you
40:38love you
40:41love you
40:42thanks
41:01Oh, just don't.
41:10August, unfinished business is what we always look for, you and Ron.
41:15And now there is nobody that I can think of whose business is more finished than yours.
41:26Godspeed, August.
41:29I'm going to miss you.
41:37I'm going to miss you.
41:53Luke?
41:58Am I crazy?
42:00Or did I just want to hear your voice so very badly that I am?
42:04Luke.
42:06Turn around.
42:36Bell, ing.
42:38C.
42:39I am.
42:39I'm.
42:41I'm.
42:44I'm.
42:45You
Comments

Recommended