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00:00Gather round, Grouse Lakers.
00:03Here's the day we've all been waiting for.
00:06The annual Berry Picker Festival Dinner and Talent Show.
00:10And here's the greatest talent of them all,
00:13your host, DJ Roger Laughingstick.
00:24Ahem.
00:24Sha, quit the humming.
00:26Take a lozenge or some shit.
00:28Let's do it again, then.
00:32Here's your host, Roger Laughingstick.
00:38Hey, boy, we're visiting.
00:43Yes, I can love you, baby, all night long.
00:52I said silence!
00:55Ole!
00:56Just killing the vibe.
00:57All right, then.
01:00Dinner will be served throughout the show.
01:03But before we get to the first act,
01:07let's have a few words with last year's Mr. Berry Picker.
01:16So you're exact for him, eh?
01:18Whatever.
01:20So, you've been Mr. Berry Picker all year.
01:25How does it feel?
01:26I don't know.
01:29I don't know.
01:29You must have felt something.
01:32I don't know.
01:34Jesus Christ.
01:36Like blueberries.
01:36Would you please sit down?
01:40We love you, Mr. Berry Picker.
01:43Yeah.
01:46Before the night's done, we'll crown a new Mr. Berry Picker and catch the surprise guest performance.
01:54Charles Brunson?
01:56Stephen Seagal?
01:58Billy Jack?
01:59He's not even real.
02:01Liar!
02:02It's none of those people.
02:04Sorry to relate, everybody.
02:05Rose was yelling at me before we left.
02:12He's not even on stage.
02:14Sorry, Roger.
02:16Oh, isn't this a great start.
02:18Killer seats, Dean.
02:20Perfect heckling range.
02:22I told you, no heckling tonight.
02:24But it's part of the show.
02:26The best part.
02:27It's been ages since we went out.
02:29I just want one quiet night, no loud babies.
02:33Please?
02:34Okay, babe.
02:35Oh.
02:36Without further eye-y, it's time to introduce our first act.
02:42He's Manitoba's 18th most popular comedian, all the way from Poplar River First Nation.
02:48Here's Chris Kozlaskus.
02:51Boo!
02:52Boo!
02:53What kind of native man has a last name like that anyway?
02:57He just said no heckling.
03:00It's part of the show, babe.
03:02That's a joke already, man.
03:03I just got up here.
03:05Well, it sounds like it's time for you to get off.
03:08Yeah.
03:09Yeah.
03:11See?
03:11It's part of the show.
03:14So, how's everyone doing tonight?
03:16I'm doing okay.
03:17My back hurts a little bit, though.
03:20Sorry about your back.
03:21Hey, man.
03:22Don't you worry about it.
03:25Nice conversation, bro.
03:29Hi.
03:30We be friends.
03:30Don't pretend that anyone come out yet, okay?
03:33Hmm.
03:36How's it going in?
03:37Wow.
03:38I just wouldn't use those for this job.
03:42Okay, Agnes.
03:43I know you've cooked these events on your own for the last 20 years.
03:47But I got this.
03:48Of course.
03:50I know it's your kitchen now.
03:53I'm just here for moral support.
03:57Hmm.
03:58You know, if you put it on your shoulder like a little pet muskrat, it gives you really quick access.
04:07Okay, I'm just here if you need me.
04:10If I need you.
04:11Excuse me.
04:12Beanpole?
04:13How's it looking, Stephen Harper?
04:15Well, they're really giving it to Roger, so I think they're getting hungry.
04:18Okay.
04:18Gather around, people.
04:20We got a hundred people to teach.
04:21No fucking around.
04:22Got it?
04:23Yes, chef.
04:24Then get to work.
04:24Now.
04:25Majan.
04:26Ole.
04:27Wee wee neep beanpole.
04:29Your mood can affect the food.
04:32You must have love in your heart so that the people can taste it.
04:37Well, this food is gonna taste like rockin' fuckin' roll.
04:53Let's hear it one more time for Chris Kozlowskis and the Hecklers.
05:00Moving on.
05:02Our next app tells me he has the access codes to your unconscious mind.
05:09Whatever that means.
05:11Give it up for Nigel Void, the hypnotist.
05:16You may forget your name, but you'll always remember mine.
05:21Nigel Void!
05:25Oh, buddy, this guy's gonna get it!
05:28It's almost too easy, like, choking fish in a barrel.
05:32I need two brave volunteers.
05:36You!
05:37And you!
05:38Enter the boy!
05:45You call this Bannock?
05:46My ancestors would haunt you for this.
05:50Maybe the Bannock wouldn't be so hard if you would just lighten up a bit.
05:55You're still on with this.
05:57Okay.
05:57You want this Pickerel to be the star of the night?
06:01Watch.
06:02I need Pickerel.
06:04Miigwetch for giving your life to us.
06:06I hope that you really taste good.
06:09Aho.
06:10Oh, Mr. Potato.
06:13I love you so much.
06:15The sarcasm on you.
06:17The judgment from you.
06:19Don't argue in front of the food.
06:22Nope.
06:22The food needs to hear this.
06:24When I snap my fingers, our two volunteers will stop being chickens.
06:29One.
06:30Two.
06:32Three.
06:33Whoa!
06:38Somebody call a tow truck, man. This show's a wreck.
06:43And thank you to our lovely volunteers.
06:47Now, any smokers in the house?
06:49Oh, hey.
06:50Any colonizers in the house?
06:54How am I a colonizer?
06:56Hey, man.
06:57First white people tried to steal our land, and now you're trying to steal our brains.
07:02Yeah.
07:03You're a mind colonizer.
07:05You two want to be in the show so bad.
07:07Why don't you two come on up here?
07:10You can't hypnotize these brains.
07:12Yeah, man.
07:13Our skulls are too thick.
07:15Nigel Boyd can hypnotize anyone.
07:19Let's go.
07:20Let's go.
07:21Why don't you two come on up and enter the boy.
07:26Now, what you are about to witness is the most dangerous mind feat in all of hypnosis.
07:34The body swap!
07:35Perfect.
07:37I want you two to slowly allow yourself to let go.
07:47I've never seen it happen that fast.
07:49Softest brains I've ever worked with.
07:55You're not going to like this, but they're starting to send the food back.
08:01Well, one table said the food tasted angry.
08:03Another table said the potatoes tasted too sarcastic.
08:07Hate to say I told you so.
08:10If you know better, you take over.
08:11Well, I couldn't do that.
08:13But since you asked.
08:22Watch and learn, Beanpole.
08:26Watch and learn.
08:30You see each other at the end of a long tunnel.
08:34Now go to each other.
08:37Now, when I snap my fingers, the big one will enter the dumb one's body.
08:42And vice versa.
08:44One.
08:45Two.
08:46Three.
08:47Two.
08:47Two.
08:48Two.
08:48Three.
08:49Two.
08:49I told you, bro.
08:51We can't be hypnotized.
08:52Our minds like still traps, bro.
08:55Wait a minute, bro.
08:58I'm you.
08:59And I'm you, bro.
09:02We've been freaky riding.
09:04Thank you, Gross Lake.
09:06And good night!
09:07Yes!
09:10Beep!
09:12Ah!
09:12Help!
09:13Oh, my God.
09:21Hey, man.
09:22You switch us back, you corporate seller,
09:25button-down, corn-fed, marshmallow motherfucker.
09:30Yeah.
09:30I'm good.
09:31All right, fine.
09:33What do you want?
09:34I don't know.
09:34How about an apology for calling me a mind colonizer?
09:38That's an easy one.
09:40I'm sorry, bro.
09:42Okay, okay.
09:43Sorry you're a mind colonizer.
09:47Enjoy living in each other's asses for the rest of your lives.
09:51Exit!
09:52The void.
09:53What the fuck?
09:54Just say sorry, bro.
09:56I'm tired of being in this gigantic body.
09:59I used to be able to jump.
10:00I don't negotiate with colonizers.
10:03In that case, go fuck yourself then!
10:07Apparently, this next act is educational and entertaining.
10:11So, entertainment?
10:15Just keep quiet and watch your next act.
10:20Oh, man.
10:27Oh, boy.
10:29I'm really hungry.
10:31I am, too.
10:32What should we eat?
10:34Boo!
10:35We have...
10:38Fried chicken.
10:40Fried bologna.
10:42Fried milkshake.
10:43Let's dip it all in lard.
10:48Oh, no.
10:49Who could that be?
10:52Fuck!
10:53Yeesh!
10:54Who is it?
10:55It is I.
10:57Evil cholesterol.
10:59Oh, no!
11:02Hi.
11:03I'm in every cell in your body.
11:06I also help your organs do their jobs.
11:09Do.
11:10Their.
11:14Jobs.
11:15But, too much cholesterol?
11:18Oh, that's a bad idea.
11:20Slow down, boy!
11:21We're learning!
11:22How do you spell cholesterol?
11:24K-U-L-A-S-S-T-R-E-L.
11:31You know, you really do have a lot to learn about cooking beanpole.
11:36Oh, you know I know QN, Rhonda.
11:40You know, you have to keep the kitchen safe.
11:45Like a nursery.
11:46And the food are the children.
11:52Why do you hate the children, beanpole?
11:56There's no way this makes a difference.
11:57If it's not a real ingredient, then who cares?
12:01So much to learn.
12:03What?
12:05Kiki wapperman.
12:06Sweet food.
12:08May they bless the mouths of those that eat it.
12:13That was a good one.
12:14You should write that down.
12:17Samak.
12:20See, Paul?
12:21This is why you don't heckle.
12:23I'm not Paul, bro.
12:25It's Dean.
12:26Babe, it's me.
12:28See, Paul?
12:29This is why you don't heckle.
12:31Okay.
12:32So you knew my heckling would cause me to go into Dean's skinny-ass body?
12:36Shut your mouth.
12:38Or Dean's mouth.
12:40Goddamn, the skinny-ass body's so cold there's no insulation.
12:43You smarten up or I'll start exercising.
12:46This body is in fact in reset mode, brah.
12:49What do you mean by that?
12:50I mean, I got a lot of room and I'm gonna fill it.
12:56Thanks for ruining my night.
12:59Babe, I'm sorry, I'll fix this.
13:02How are you gonna fix this?
13:03All he has to do is apologize to the hydroponics guy.
13:07And then he'll switch his back.
13:08And you haven't done that?
13:10But, babe, he's a colonizer.
13:13Come on, man.
13:14Fucking do it already.
13:16That's not reconciliation.
13:18Turn codes.
13:19Ow!
13:21Babe, I got no padding in it.
13:23Fix this.
13:24Now!
13:27God, you're beautiful.
13:31Okay, so you're not gonna like this.
13:34Oh, yeah?
13:35They all felt it tasted a little too condescending
13:37with a judgmental aftertaste.
13:40What?
13:41You must have heard them wrong.
13:43The fish was also a little spoiled,
13:45but not in the way you might think.
13:47More like it was coddled.
13:50Like a mama's boy.
13:52Oh, looks like your mood's affecting the food, Agnes.
14:01Before we bring out our special guest,
14:03we have an even specialer guest.
14:07And no, it's not Billy Jack.
14:10It's me.
14:11And Betty.
14:12My flute.
14:14You suck, boy!
14:16I haven't even played a note yet.
14:20Boring!
14:21Bring back cholesterol!
14:28Okay, fine.
14:30Our special guest used to work here,
14:32but left to chase his dreams.
14:35Oh, better not be Greg.
14:37Oh, for fuck's sakes.
14:38Here's Greg.
14:40I quit.
14:51There's my wizard.
14:53Uh, this is not part of the show, everybody.
14:55Greg, I miss you, bro.
14:58Really?
14:58Because you once punched me in the back of the head
15:00when we ran out of ice cream.
15:01Should've put up a sign, man.
15:04Some creepy hypnotist swapped their bodies,
15:07and now I'm stuck in Paul's body.
15:10What do you see like that?
15:11Sounds weird.
15:12Greg!
15:13Use your mind powers to change our bodies back.
15:17Gentlemen.
15:20Brace yourselves.
15:24Energy too powerful.
15:26Brain's too weak.
15:30I can't do it.
15:31Great show, Greg.
15:33Real mind-blowing.
15:33Hypnotist!
15:35I command thee!
15:36Put my friends' brains back in their bodies!
15:39You see, illusionists,
15:41they're all phonies.
15:43Hypnotists, we burrow our way
15:45into your minds.
15:47No tricks.
15:48Stand back.
15:52A battle of the minds.
15:55You're ready!
15:57Brain fight!
15:58Brain fight!
15:59Tender!
16:00Got you, vampire!
16:01You need me to take over again, Agnes.
16:05Boni shen, Beanpole.
16:07I'm just sharing all my love
16:09with all of my blueberries.
16:12I love you.
16:14I love you.
16:16And I love even you.
16:19Everyone's waiting.
16:21Shut up, Beanpole!
16:23Nobody even likes you!
16:25Careful, Agnes.
16:26You want your food to taste mean?
16:29Ugh.
16:30What about you, meanpole?
16:33Meanpole, eh?
16:34Yeah.
16:36How could you waste that food?
16:39Watch my flame shirt!
16:41Is the dessert ready yet?
16:43Shut up, Stephen Harper!
16:49Give it up, my loser!
16:51LOSER!
16:52We never...
16:54We're glad!
16:56Go on, Storm buddy!
17:00Get him!
17:01He's...
17:02so...
17:03powerful.
17:04No!
17:05No!
17:07No!
17:08No!
17:10No!
17:12No!
17:13No!
17:16No!
17:17Sorry, Nate!
17:17Use the power...
17:19of our friendship!
17:22Don't let me go!
17:35Oh, Dean was right!
17:36You're...
17:36you're an all-nature for the power of friendship!
17:39But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
17:41Because you're nothing but a mind...
17:43Dedler!
17:45It's not friendship!
17:46My one weakness!
17:48Ah!
17:49Come on, Moor!
17:50Do it again!
17:50Fine. When I snap my fingers,
17:54the big one enters the dumb one's body and vice versa.
17:57Hey, who you calling big?
17:59Hey, man. Who you calling dumb?
18:01One. Two.
18:04Buckle my shoe!
18:08Holy fuck!
18:10I got my belly back!
18:12Michael, you did it!
18:19Mark my words, mind blower.
18:21I never forgive.
18:23And I never forget.
18:25I'll be back!
18:28Let's go before he comes back.
18:29Jesus Christ, man. Just fucking go already.
18:32We don't know what's happening.
18:34Is it finished?
18:36If only there was someone here to officiate this event,
18:40then maybe we'd know.
18:41Ah-ha!
18:43You need me.
18:45You win this one there, Roger.
18:48While the dessert comes out,
18:50let's announce this year's Mr. Berry Picker.
18:53Drum roll, please.
18:59And the winner is...
19:01Ugh!
19:03It's him again.
19:13Mr. Berry Picker.
19:15How does it feel?
19:19I don't know.
19:23Marry me, Mr. Berry Picker.
19:26This never would've happened if you just minded your own damn business.
19:30If I just minded my own damn business,
19:33you'd be just serving hate burgers.
19:35Ladies, please.
19:36I may just be a simple cuck of questionable parentage,
19:39but even I can tell that what you're doing in here
19:41is affecting everyone out there.
19:42Plate after plate has gone out there
19:44with all of your emotional poison all over it,
19:47and I won't let it happen anymore.
19:49If we can't put aside our differences for the sake of the food,
19:52then we're no better than the whites!
19:55You're right, Stephen Harper.
19:58Yeah, you showed us the way back to our hearts.
20:03Here. Whip it.
20:05Whip it good.
20:11Nimmin Ginuiz.
20:13Bean pool.
20:14I should've let you cook.
20:16Nimmin Ginuiz.
20:17I should've taken your advice.
20:19Hmm.
20:20Um, guys?
20:22Okay.
20:23Don't be mad,
20:24but someone said it tasted too sincere,
20:27too resolution-y.
20:30Can I see that?
20:32No!
20:44Wait!
20:45Before anyone leaves, we have one final act.
20:53Rose, I'm sorry that I ruined your night away from PJ,
20:57but there is never going to be a night away from PJ.
21:01What are you talking about?
21:04Please welcome DJ PJ!
21:10Aw.
21:11There's mommy.
21:12Look.
21:13All right, PJ the DJ.
21:15Drop that beat!
21:17I will see you.
21:18Ah-hoo!
21:28Ha-ha!
21:28That's my boy!
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