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00:00Now you two, are you on a first date?
00:03We, yeah, we are.
00:04We are.
00:05We are.
00:10No one else didn't want to spend it with.
00:11I don't know about you guys, I now have 18 questions.
00:14Where did you, where did you meet?
00:16We met at Gaines Run Club, which is essentially 200 gay men running down the Thames on a Saturday morning.
00:23Hot.
00:23Yeah, and I was like really sweaty and beetroot faced.
00:28Yeah.
00:28And he asked me out.
00:31And here you are.
00:32Here we are.
00:33I feel good about this.
00:34I've got a good feeling about it.
00:35If you do get married, are we all invited?
00:38You're officiating it.
00:40Fine.
00:41I really hope this is your last date.
00:43Um.
01:06I feel like there's one last date.
01:14of a chicken nugget on his leg just some information some take out if you will we
01:20have an audience and some very lovely guests and joining us on the sofa she is
01:25a comedian an award-winning podcaster who's currently breaking records with
01:30her latest stand-up tour it's Joanne McNally
01:44star of man like no bean he's now appearing in the prime series bait it's
01:50Gus Kahn
02:00she is a Golden Globe winner for West Side Story an Olivier Award nominee for Evita
02:07and now she's back at the London Palladium it's Rachel Zegler
02:20and he's the singer songwriter who found global boy band success with One Direction he's now
02:27a chart-topping solo artist who sold over 90 million records back with a brand new
02:33album it's Niall Horace
02:38don't do that
02:40it's you
02:41oh
02:42oh
02:45come on
02:48oh
02:49oh
02:49oh
02:50oh
02:51oh
02:59I'm just screaming every single day of my life
03:03I'm walking into the shop
03:06I'm not gonna lie, I'm shit myself, Claudia
03:08No, I'll be honest, you should be
03:11I have quite a few things to bring up with you
03:13But I'm sure
03:14Before that, it was St. Patrick's Day this week
03:18Niall, St. Patrick's Day, is it a big deal?
03:21In your world?
03:22Yeah
03:23I think how powerful Ireland is, like, culturally around the world
03:28I'm like a little flag bearer going around, aren't we?
03:30Two of us just going around London, just going, we're from Ireland
03:34And we love being Irish, so we're happy to celebrate any day, to be honest
03:38But Paddy's Day is another excuse, isn't it?
03:40It's definitely growing legs worldwide
03:42We're kind of the favourite, we're the favourite people
03:46And do you know, I know that
03:47Because I did a bit of digging
03:48And the passport, the Irish passport
03:51Is the most expensive passport on the dark web
03:55Where to God?
03:57Guess how much it's worth?
03:58Go on
03:58200 grand
04:00You can sell them
04:01Niall, you can sell yours when you run out of money
04:04Now I don't have the dark web, but once I figure out how to get on that
04:07I'm going to sell mine and drive around in a Lamborghini made of lobster bound
04:11While some Russian gangster guy is going through American immigration without a bother on it
04:17I might not look like her, but I am her
04:20Yeah, you just get the bangs, big shoulder pads, you'd be grand
04:23Yeah, done
04:24Um, Gus, do you have, do you love Ireland?
04:27I mean, I love it, but I don't 200 grand love it
04:29Yeah
04:31Do you like it?
04:32Yeah, I like it
04:32Yeah, it's nice
04:33So, Rachel, your best friend is your biggest fan
04:39Yes
04:39Which I'm sure you get this a lot
04:41When I was growing up and One Direction was getting very popular
04:44Yeah
04:45I was getting into Les Miserables
04:46So I wasn't really
04:47Me too, me too
04:49I've seen it multiple times
04:50Yes, of course
04:51And my best friend, when I was a kid, I've known her since I was one
04:55Oh
04:55Her name is Carly
04:56And she had a cardboard cut out of you in her bedroom
05:00So when we had sleepovers, do you know who watched me sleep?
05:04Oh
05:06Oh, coming back
05:08Oh, coming back to me
05:10Yeah
05:11It really
05:13Quite intense
05:14Hello to her
05:15Hi Carly
05:16Hello Carly
05:17Hi Diva
05:18Hi Diva
05:19Hi Diva
05:23Now, we need to talk about the new album
05:25Yes
05:33It's called Dinner Party
05:34We have a visual here
05:36Oh
05:40There she is
05:41Oh my god
05:41Guys
05:43I'm not anti it, but is this going to happen all night?
05:46Yes
05:47Erm
05:48Yeah, okay
05:49And the singles dinner party, it's out I believe now
05:53Mm-hm
05:53And it was written about a very special dinner party, wasn't it?
05:58Yeah
05:58I wrote this song
05:59It's
06:00The lyric
06:00Kinda does
06:01It's like Ronsell
06:02It does exactly what it says in the tin
06:04It tells you exactly what happened from
06:06From the night I met my girlfriend
06:08Who was it?
06:09We were at
06:10She was a late
06:11You're not screaming now
06:14Erm
06:14She er
06:15Yeah, she was like a late addition to a party that I was at
06:18And erm
06:19Yeah, I just got chatting to her
06:21Offered her a drink
06:21We got chatting
06:22Erm
06:24She says that we didn't kiss that night
06:25I disagree
06:26I think we did
06:28And er
06:29It's one of those things that you
06:31Don't expect
06:32To be
06:33To be writing about
06:34Like a big once in a lifetime moment
06:35And it kinda happened to me
06:36Which is pretty cool
06:37So
06:37I got to write about it
06:38Can I also just say
06:39The energy since you mentioned your incredible partner
06:42Has changed in this world
06:44Yes
06:45Before
06:46It was all like
06:47Woah
06:48Niall
06:49As soon as you brought her off
06:50Niall
06:50Don't mention it
06:51I wasn't going to bring it up Gus
06:53I wasn't going to bring it up
06:54It's going very plain in here
06:57By the way
06:57I just met her
06:58She's
06:58This is going to make it worse
07:00Divine
07:02Oh
07:02There we go
07:08Do you like a dinner
07:09I'm nervous
07:10Mmm
07:11Of a dinner party
07:12I don't want a napkin in the shape of a swan
07:15Yeah
07:15Er
07:16Or play set
07:17I just worry that I'm going to do something wrong
07:18Do you love a dinner party?
07:20It's something that I've definitely gotten into
07:22The older I've gotten
07:23It's one of those things
07:24It's a
07:25It's a coming of age thing
07:26Isn't it?
07:26Yes
07:27Having a dinner party
07:27It's like
07:28I mean I just sat down for dinner
07:29And
07:30Throw a pizza in the oven
07:32Or something generally
07:32But
07:33Now that I'm older
07:34I have dinner parties obviously
07:36Er
07:38You two?
07:39Where do we stand on dinner parties?
07:41I can't
07:42I can't cook shit
07:44I can't cook shit
07:45I can't cook shit
07:46Why would I remove
07:47Jobs from the hard working people at Nando's?
07:50There's no niece
07:51I go to them
07:53I go to them
07:53I receive my food
07:54It's a wonderful transaction
07:55And there's no dinner parties in my house
07:57I've got five kids man
07:59Wow
08:00I
08:01I'll attend
08:02I won't host
08:03I use my air fire to hold my keys
08:05Do you bring food?
08:06Will you do a potluck sort of thing?
08:08No
08:08Okay
08:08I'll arrive when the food has been done and dusted
08:10The party is beginning
08:12Right
08:12And I'm the same as you
08:14Deliveroo
08:15This is highly embarrassing
08:17But obviously we're in it now
08:19Contacted me and asked me if I'd like
08:20A business account
08:22Because they thought I was a company
08:24Where to God
08:26My problem with Deliveroo is
08:27I'll do an order
08:28You know you're in trouble
08:29When they deliver it with like
08:31Four sets of chopsticks
08:32And I'm like
08:33Just me and my bed
08:35I leave the noodles with my hands
08:38Thanks for coming
08:40Now
08:41We have got a clip of the song
08:44One kiss on your neck
08:46It was so concrete
08:48I'm done looking for somebody
08:52Behind
08:54Closed doors
08:55Things I never felt before
09:00Crashing eyes
09:02When you first saw me
09:04Yeah, I met you at a dinner party
09:09Changerly
09:10Just a drink and coffee
09:13Yeah
09:14I met you at a
09:15привет
09:17CHEERING
09:19CHEERING
09:20CHEERING
09:26Please tell us the details of the single, the name and when it's out
09:31and then we can go
09:32Who-haw
09:32The single is to dinner party, it's out today
09:34and the album is coming very soon
09:44And Niall I found out some other information about you which I'm obsessed or information about me for Vogue you
09:50went through your beauty
09:52routine
09:53And by the way, it would not fit on these cards not even
10:06Clipboard there are 22 steps. Wait one you light a candle to set this home
10:14Give me a minute. Go on. I'll give her a half an hour
10:19So there's a cold water splash pardon number nine is you play with big silver balls
10:28There are so many tell me what you actually do I do quite a few of them to be fair
10:32I'm quite I'm quite a big into the skin care do the ice water in the morning three or four
10:37dunks
10:44Couple of moisturizers and like a serum a moisturizer as to have a spray. It's like a cold plunge for
10:51your face. Yeah, it's fucking
10:53He's actually 72 years old
10:54Yeah
10:59I'm so impressed. I'm used to dealing with lads who cleaned their face with a scrub daddy
11:12Guys what are you doing in the morning?
11:14By the way, look how immaculate that skin is. I want to have this
11:17Like a wash my face
11:21Sometimes, you know, sometimes some mornings is hard. My wife puts that um, is it like a black head strip?
11:27What is that?
11:28Black head strip
11:29I don't know what it is, but every time is every time she puts it on
11:32She insists that she's the one to take it off
11:36And when she peels it she does the same thing every time she peels it looks at it says disgusting
11:43So, you know, yeah, that's fine though. Did she rip it off hot like quick?
11:48It depends on the mood
11:50Got it. I think all I'm my plan is to
11:55Two-step skincare and then just eventually got a gorgeous Korean facelift. Yeah
12:04They just yank you off
12:06Yeah, yank you right all right the problem is where did the folds go who cares like the foul okay?
12:11Goes into the back of your ears, right?
12:13I love my eyes on my head. I want to so much plastic surgery when they cremate me. I won't
12:16burn. I'll just
12:28Remember those crisp packets in the 90s used to put in the oven. They just shrank
12:32Yeah
12:33That's my goal
12:36It's a good goal. I like it
12:37I want my eyes at the top of my head
12:39I want my ass on my back. That's what I want
12:44I'm following you
12:47Rachel you're back in the UK back in the Palladium and you are here for a very special week of
12:53concerts
12:54Yeah, I'm doing a week of concerts of the 25th anniversary of the musical the last five years with my
13:00good friend Ben Platt
13:01Yeah, we are
13:04And it's so so special because it's directed by the writer and composer Jason Robert Brown who will also be
13:11on stage
13:12Conducting playing piano all those things and I've just been dying at the opportunity to work with my good friend
13:17Ben
13:17I'm so excited. What I love is when I came to see you earlier you were like I was watching
13:21Ben sing today
13:22He was amazing. It's just it's actually disgusting like
13:27I'm mad about it. Yeah, you get it. It's like it's one of those things where you watch your friends
13:31be talented and you're just it's revolting
13:36I want to push him down the stairs
13:39Let's not do that, but he'll feel the same way about you. He will maybe
13:43He really but I don't
13:46Please tell me when we can come and see the concert
13:49Tuesday March 24th through March 29th at the London Palladium. It's so exciting. I can't wait. I cannot wait
14:05You at the Palladium, we have to talk about Avita. You've just been nominated for an Olivier Award. Congratulations
14:43Thank you
14:44Um
14:45Thank you
14:46Yeah, and and it was unbelievable there's 2200 seats in the Palladium roughly so it was it was amazing
14:52And were there some nights that really stuck with you pride was amazing?
14:57Because everyone was so hammered
15:00That they were singing along incorrectly
15:04I had a we could see the building across from me on Argyle Street
15:08There was it's a building with restaurants. There's offices. I'm sure
15:11Um, and there was somebody who stood in the stairwell and just kind of mimicked my every move
15:17In my direct eye line. It was hysterical. I have to give kudos. I don't know who they are
15:22Kudos to that man. Thank you
15:24You saw Rachel didn't you? I did
15:26Crazy. Yeah, why would you do that?
15:28It was not really now. It was the hottest ticket in town. I had to pull a lot of strings
15:32To get in it was phenomenal if it makes you feel any better. I am also disgusted by you
15:36Oh, cool. Yeah
15:38A lot of people are
15:41And now you're funny as well. I'm gonna have to have you put down
15:45Everyone say goodbye to Rachel
15:48Now we have somebody here I believe who is about to play evita at the swan in worcester
15:55Rosie, are you here? Rosie? Hello. Hi darling
15:59Rosie number one. Good luck. When does it start? 21st of april
16:03So soon. Yeah. Oh my god. Are you excited?
16:06Yeah, it's the time of your life. Yeah, this is the most exciting part. Do you get enough water breaks?
16:13Yeah, I know
16:16Because I have this really fun thing where I didn't have any costume changes
16:20Where usually as eva perone i'm sure you have a lot of costume changes drink during those
16:25Because I didn't have any of those and I had to beg for water breaks to be choreographed in
16:30Olivier nominee fabian eloise should win just because he choreographed water breaks into my choreography
16:36And I bet those who saw it didn't even notice
16:39Right
16:41But it's the time of your life. Just take it with you. It's so much fun. You'll remember it for
16:45a lifetime
16:46Good luck
16:53Your evita broke records it was the longest standing ovation ever in the west end
17:00How long did it go over 10 minutes over 10 minutes on closing night for sure
17:03But it was a it was one of those moments where I was I was used to doing I did
17:07shakespeare new york
17:08Like you don't get a standing o for everything but in new york
17:11It's very much a part of the culture after the show is done everybody stands and I was told many
17:16times
17:17Before the run started like well, just you know
17:19It doesn't mean they don't like it if they don't stand it doesn't mean that because london audiences are a
17:23lot more reserved
17:24Which I for one really love and we got a standing ovation every night
17:28And it was bizarre to everybody in the company that that was what was going on and the closing night
17:33was I think it was like 12 minutes
17:36It went over the the record which was 10
17:39How do you what face do you pull?
17:42There are many videos of me turning to james olivas who plays peron where I go. I don't know what
17:47to do
17:48I don't know what to do and also like I said didn't really have any time off stage
17:54I had to pee so bad
17:56That I would always be like
17:58Because we were waiting for a reprise of money kept rolling in to come in so that we could dance
18:03off the stage
18:03And it just never came and so there are also videos of me being like I have to pee
18:10I'm like you had water breaks. I've got you've had water breaks and you're not wearing a nappy. I had
18:15exactly
18:16I had very rare water breaks so when I could drink water you best believe I was chugging
18:21Yeah, so it was one of those where I had to pee so bad at the end of that
18:24It's it's a three-hour musical and I did not leave the stage once
18:28The only time I left the stage was to go get ready to go do the balcony and then I
18:31came right back onto the stage
18:32So I didn't have any time to pee during the show Rachel you need a shiwi are using a glass
18:36to breathe
18:38Not that not that I used it
18:40Very effective
18:44Now guys we need to converse about bait it's a brand new show for prime video
18:50That's correct. This is a creation of Riz Ahmed
18:53I've known Riz for quite some time. I knew him before I even stumbled into this and he's been really
18:58honest
18:59It's a real honest story of what it's like for a guy from a working-class family in Wembley to
19:05have done all the stuff
19:06He's done
19:06But every time that big role comes that big opportunity comes something goes wrong
19:11It doesn't quite happen
19:13And it was it was wicked to work on on it with him because it's it's so honest
19:17It's a lot of his real life in his real story. So yeah, it's got a lot of humor. It's
19:21completely crazy
19:22That's how Riz likes to do his stuff
19:24And I think it's very unique some something that people won't have seen before for sure
19:27This is about Riz going for bond, right?
19:30He has an audition and his light it's four days. That's the story of bait, isn't it?
19:36Can I tell you the truth? Yeah, I'm not really sure
19:44I've got to tell the truth. Okay, I'll be reading my words
19:49And then I go to sleep that's all I do
20:01For the show I just heard her back there bang her head
20:08It's really good. Should we have a clip if you want? Yeah, yeah, why not?
20:11Go on calm down. It's just an audition. Yeah, call me if you need a body double for sex scenes
20:18Can you tell her to call me soon? She comes back in
20:25I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I'm just going to sort this out
20:28and work it out
20:30Yo, yo, look at me. I'm proud of you
20:36I'm proud of you
20:37My guy see let's see what happens of course the shot up a bit. Does it know about height?
20:41Jimmy
20:42They're gonna give you special shoes like James was a big enemy
20:50I'm just saying it for you for you
21:01I have to say it
21:03Are you sure? Are you sure iris?
21:06So, you know, there's certain criteria that I believe you have to hit to be James Bond and they killed
21:11him at number one
21:12He can't even help that it's not his fault
21:14He didn't get the right level of protein in when he was a kid you can't make any fun
21:17Yes, Riz Ahmed. Can I say that we should have a short James Bond because how are you gonna be
21:21so tall and sneak it around like a secret?
21:23Exactly. I don't see it. I've been saying that for years
21:30Where did you first meet him? Where did I first meet Riz Ahmed?
21:34For legal purposes, I've been asked to frame this story
21:39To go back like 20 years could be a little bit more and i'm from coventry
21:44I still live there and I before I did this had different vocations
21:48Um, one of my vocations was
21:54Selling tulips let's go with that
21:57That's what beautiful tulips they were
22:00Right yeah, I was a florist people really like the flowers every time they get there brother this flower is
22:04the best flower
22:05I ever smell in my whole life, okay
22:08I
22:09Was in an alleyway with my still best friend till this day and a gentleman comes running into the alleyway
22:15And when you're selling tulips late at night, you know everyone's on edge
22:17Go with it guys
22:21Look down alleyway and there's Riz Ahmed
22:25But he knows Riz Ahmed and Riz Ahmed was a little bit nervous about the the activity of floristry in
22:30this particular alleyway
22:32But to his credit Riz decided to venture down there to me and my friend and said my brothers
22:37Um, i'm about to spit some bars in the students union
22:41Would you like to join me and i looked at my friend and said probably not man these tulips ain't
22:46gonna sell themselves
22:46My friend who's a good person he's a good geezer he said no we should support this guy
22:53He looks kind of stressed so we accompanied him to the students union
22:57This is oscar-winning Riz Ahmed 20 years ago, and he performed
23:01Quite okay-ish rap music
23:04To a group of six people
23:06in coventry students union
23:09And 10 years later when i started doing like comedy and silly stuff like that
23:13He messaged me and he goes but can i ask you a question
23:17I said yeah he said did you used to sell tulips
23:23In an alleyway in coventry and i said who are you the police go away
23:29And that's the story of how me and Riz Ahmed
23:35I mean
23:36Crazy luck right
23:37He invites me to eat every year
23:38Yeah he does he's a good lad
23:40I can't i'm gonna miss it this year because i'm here but but Riz invites me to
23:43Like they do eid in new york they do an eid banquet and i'm missing it this year and i'm
23:48very sad but
23:48He's so he's salt of the earth he's a good dude
23:51He's gonna have great flowers yeah on the table
23:54Loads of tulips
23:56Um and you've worked with another one of your best friends who's that on this lambu
24:02Because there's this show that i find very difficult to say so i'm gonna go very slowly gus khan's custom
24:07cars
24:08And you do it with lambu and it is really funny i know nothing about cars tell me about this
24:18show
24:18Well this show came about because i do like cars
24:21Um always have when we were younger uh just growing up in a working class family in kov
24:27The idea of owning a car that was more than 750 pound was a bit of a dream okay
24:32And now you get to a stage in your career where you can say to people um all that cars
24:37Can we make a television show about it please somebody and they were i was lucky enough for someone to
24:41say yeah
24:41But in my head i always wanted my best friend to come along on his journey with me
24:45My best friend is lumbo to describe lumbo he is a human sunflower
24:49Are we talking real flowers this time yeah yeah
24:52Yeah yeah yeah real flowers
24:54Making sure
24:55But i'm from b and q plant i'm in the ground real legit
24:59There he is handsome boy um but you know you you realize when you bring your friends to make television
25:05They don't really respect the rules
25:08Tell me more so like if a call time is at 8 30 in the morning
25:12Uh-oh um and your friend turns up at 2 30 in the afternoon
25:16Right that probably isn't good good for the rules right yeah
25:20And it looks bad on you it looks terrible on me
25:23Sort of love him for it what was he doing
25:25What was he doing until 2 30?
25:27Yeah sleeping oh wow
25:29Yes he was tired
25:31I gotta respect it yeah but it's an amazing thing to go on like we've been messing around since we
25:35were kids
25:36And then we went on this journey to create this incredible custom car i'd never done that before
25:40But we did realize by the end of the show that he had um created a car
25:45That based on his six foot four length
25:48And my 18 stone weight
25:51We couldn't fit in
25:53There's a custom car somewhere in the streets of coventry rotting in a car park if anybody wants to go
25:58and take it
25:59Yeah it was a fun journey really fun journey
26:01I cannot recommend it enough it's really i don't know anything about cars
26:04But i was howling by the way you two talked to each other by the way you're talking
26:08There was something about an exhaust pipe didn't know what i was i'm i was in
26:11I was in where can people watch i don't know what channel it's on but you'll find
26:18It's on discovery plus is it yeah
26:21And baked amazon for sure correct
26:24Fine video for bait and you can witness riz armored
26:28I assume go on to win an emmy because he's incredible in it support the show
26:32It's it's got proper british flavor it's got proper energy and humor just enjoy it
26:38Thank you very much
26:43Before you got into comedy and before uh all of this you were a teacher
26:49I was a teacher what kind of a teacher were you a shit one
26:56I don't believe that i just don't believe that
26:59What did you
27:00I believe i believe that
27:02I believe that
27:04You can see it that tracks yeah sure
27:05Uh what did you teach
27:07Well here's the thing
27:09So when you do your pgce yeah uh specializing teaching
27:13You you you do that in a specific subject or set of subjects
27:18I never got around to teaching those specific sets of subjects nice
27:22So like i was basically like a really good
27:25Big brother forward slash that fun uncle around school
27:29And i would like to hope to think maybe that i had contributed in a positive way to the children
27:34of grace academy in coventry
27:35If i didn't and you failed your gcse's i apologize
27:39That is the plot to school of rock without the music
27:42Can i tell you something yeah your students loved you
27:45Did they love me they loved you would you like to say hello to one no stop it
27:49i'm gonna cry i'm gonna cry
27:56Hey mr kai
27:57Hello
27:58Yeah
28:00There's another one
28:01Yeah
28:01Come here you lot
28:02Oh
28:03Oh
28:04Oh
28:04Oh
28:07Oh
28:08Oh
28:09Oh
28:09Oh
28:09Oh
28:11Oh
28:12Oh
28:12Oh
28:13Oh
28:13Oh
28:14You're 25 now
28:14Oh
28:15Oh
28:15Oh
28:17Oh
28:18Oh
28:21I know
28:24You bought all the brown ones
28:29We have to want a poor white kids at home in coventry
28:32Have a seat on the sofa
28:33Oh
28:42I've loved having a laugh with you
28:44But to hear their stories about how brilliant you were i don't want to embarrass you we've got a bit
28:51Weird but
28:52But
28:53You were much better
28:55Than
28:56You're saying because simran what did he do for you you know what as you see mr khan yeah in
29:03tv was just like how he was in school yeah
29:06I remember the first time i had him in a class yeah he goes
29:09Oi simran call me out and i was like i thought i was in trouble right and he was like
29:15I can't be asked to do the presentation slide next button you sit there and you do it for me
29:20I
29:22I was like
29:51And i was like
29:51So now you know i went to uni i passed
29:54Yeah
29:54I got an art degree
29:58You were art degree
29:59I got art degree
29:59And and and and
30:02And uh yeah it was like you contributed more than you think
30:05Oh
30:16Tell us about mr calm if he's why you swear so much
30:21I don't know what i'm allowed to say i'm not allowed to say in it
30:25Brother got tulips in his inside pocket
30:30Now you know what it is this guy
30:32He made us all feel like you can go out and do anything that you want
30:35Coventry's
30:37Coventry's going for tulips
30:38So
30:41Really well done
30:42Everyone there is some sort of florist of one more and no one
30:47No one really thinks of coventry and thinks oh yeah like someone's going to come out of there
30:51So to see somebody go out and do it like
30:53I'll be the first one to say it and everyone in coventry has goods back in like
30:56We're super proud of what you've done
30:58Come on
31:06Thank you so much
31:07Simran and Naveed
31:08Thank you
31:09Thank you
31:15Oh my god
31:17That was brilliant
31:18Come on
31:20That's beautiful
31:22Is that nice?
31:24That was so nice
31:25I never marked a book in my life but I don't know
31:30I
31:30It was so lovely thank you so much for coming
31:32Thank you you too
31:33Joanne tell me your tour you keep adding more dates you are playing huge arenas
31:40Pinot file there it is
31:42He no file
31:45I file pinot it's a fun pun
31:48It has made getting press a little difficult so i'm delighted to be here claudia. Thank you
31:53Not every bbc show would take me with a name like that
31:57You're doing huge venues
31:59Fun or ever so slightly scary?
32:01It's a great crack
32:01Yeah
32:02Sometimes I think it gets a reputation for being this kind of feral
32:08I'll give you an example
32:10Because it's a predominantly female audience
32:11Okay
32:12But a man messaged me and he was like is it safe for me to come
32:15And i was like oh my god
32:17They obviously think i'm running some sort of cannibalistic
32:21Like we're putting men in cauldrons and boiling them and then drinking their bone broth or something
32:24Which i would do for a netflix special
32:28But no it's great i love it like i love gig and i love traveling around living out of a
32:32suitcase
32:33Yeah
32:33We should say you broke records for the longest ever standing ovation at the palladium
32:37You broke a different record
32:39Well rachel
32:40I too played the london palladium and broke a record
32:43It was for wine cells
32:54Ears my dear
32:55So maybe they wanted to stand for me too rachel but they couldn't because they were too pissed
33:01But i love your fans isn't it true that every venue are like i just not in a bad way
33:06i just want to warn
33:06You that like have you got white wine have you got prosecco and they're like yeah we've got enough and
33:11you're like
33:11We're similar women the women coming a little bit of you know we're we like we like a drink yeah
33:17Bit of un-diagnosed adhd like if there's a vibe yeah mentally feral physically groomed you know
33:24We might need out of a bin on a weekend that's the vibe of the shop
33:29Do you know like it is what it is
33:36Anyway you know you're talking about wee bricks we're going to need one after this
33:41Peanophile on sale now
33:50You're doing all of these shows and you also would like to adopt a dog
33:55I bought a house finally on the ladder i have a garden lovely
33:58I was like i'll obviously i'll rescue a dog because that's what you do are you adopt also i'm adopted
34:02myself
34:02So i feel it's only fair to pay it forward
34:12I'm
34:13I'm a rescue i'm a rescue driver
34:16Yeah so i would always rescue i would never buy new
34:20And um shame on you for having your own children claudia you should have
34:26How dare you so anyway i went i rang up and it is so
34:31Hard and now i'll probably get rinsed for saying this but like i was like a blah blah blah
34:35I want to adopt a little and they were like you have a car and i was like
34:38No i said i have access to an e-scooter
34:42And they were like oh yeah if you don't have a car and i was like
34:45They're like you can't adopt a dog and i was like what am i driving it to it's piano lessons
34:50If you because i couldn't if you don't have a garden they don't
34:53But i have a garden now i'm gonna
34:54Yeah fine then you can have a whole litter hive i don't know
35:00I'm gaggle
35:01So you have these lovely fans what is the wildest thing
35:06Your fans have ever done um one time in the in the apollo i could sense there was like a
35:11kerfuffle
35:13In one of the balconies and i was like what is going it's kind of distracting you're like
35:16What's going on you don't want to stop the show
35:18Where you're dying to know the tea of what's happening
35:20Yeah
35:20Yes
35:21And um there was a woman taken out again i'm not really selling the show here i'm worse than you
35:27There was a woman taken out by her arms and her legs like carried out
35:32Oh lord yeah i was like i'm rage and i missed that now i would have been i thought
35:36Would have been worth stopping the show for i think her bag fell over the balcony
35:40And she was trying to get us and they were worried she'd fall and i don't know anyway look it's
35:44fine
35:47Safe space we put seat belts in the balconies there they're strapped in
35:53Now jo-am your fans are a bit like a cult they love you would you be up for joining
35:58one because i definitely would
35:59I have a cult vibe for i i'm suggestible i'd be
36:04Easily like i'm i think i'm involved in an aloe vera pyramid already which is kind of
36:09Pushing on cult vibes i like i mean i like the sense of camaraderie yeah
36:14Do you yeah and you don't you die alone you die in a gang
36:17And everyone drinks the poison but i'm such a boozer i'll probably just completely survive and live
36:22I'll wake up i'm gonna be dead i'll pop a salpity and get off my day
36:25I i do my agent won't book hotels near scientia scientology centers because he's like you'll go in
36:30I don't like cults yeah don't want to be part of them don't like reading about them don't love watching
36:36Netflix documentaries about them they're scary you've got a cult vibe me yeah
36:41I would i would join oh you mean as the leader of a cult yes your leader vibes yes yeah
36:47i'm very follower vibes yeah
36:48You're leader
36:49The glasses and all come on the glasses
36:54Gus here's the thing tell us about when you went on holiday the first time we never been to america
37:00It was for work i've never been to america in my life i always thought i'd struggle to get in
37:05so like
37:12You don't need the bunny nile
37:16I tried to get into america as nile i would be in guantanamo bay for the rest of my life
37:21Can you imagine that can you imagine that yeah i was in one direction
37:27Yeah
37:29You all laugh but he's not wrong
37:32I live there
37:35Where were you going to uh los angeles okay yeah and so i said to my wife and the kids
37:39are like this is going
37:40To be an incredible trip let's do it there of course let's do it mate and i'm like yo
37:45This is exciting let me book somewhere incredible in the hollywood hills i love my wife and my children
37:52And then i saw how much it cost to book somewhere in the hollywood hills i don't love them that
37:55much so i went
37:56On the airbnb list and i found somewhere that looks sick and it had an exciting name it was called
38:03topanga
38:05Is that yes okay so topanga canyon now it sounds exciting yeah i went on the list and it had
38:11no ratings but it looked sick and it was cheap
38:12No ratings yeah i know i'm an idiot you've met me now you've been sitting next to me you know
38:17how this stuff goes
38:17You'd be terrible on a call
38:19So i booked it and we got to the airport and there's a wonderful driver that was there to pick
38:24us up
38:25And he said so brother where you going and i was like oh here topanga he went oh
38:30I said why you say oh four like that he said brother man i'm saying brother like me and you
38:36We don't be in topanga
38:39Immediate worrying sign but i thought anyway it's cheap two of the kids are asleep one's vomiting in the back
38:44Let's just get to topanga okay so we're heading up to topanga and it's very it's it's very like um
38:50Up hilly yeah there's a lot of altitude and we're traveling there and he's telling me all these terrible stories
38:55about man
38:55Man ain't nothing around here
38:58I said where's the hospital he said i don't know man
39:01I don't know about nothing around here we should be here anyway i'm listening to these keys are bang on
39:05and we get to the house pitch black
39:08There's all noises of crickets and
39:10I don't know what was going on
39:13All kind of animal i never heard in my life okay i thought there's people in the butcher going
39:20So it's pitch black and the instructions to get in this property are a bit weird yeah
39:24You've got to go around the back and there's no lights but there were
39:28Like security cameras all over this house right so
39:32We're walking around and then my kids they wherever they're walking this camera's going
39:37Yeah definitely oh
39:39Right so my son's like oh dad the camera's following me i said shut up man you don't know what's
39:42going on
39:45So we managed
39:47We managed to get in the house and my middle son lispy he's called like because he's got a lisp
39:51so lispy's in the house
39:53You're making that up no so so so lispy's in the house and lispy's like yeah we love him but
39:59you know
39:59He's got a lispy so we're in the house
40:02Brother's got a lispy
40:04So lispy's in his house and lispy's like his dad lispy gets feelings lispy's like dad's man dad's
40:10This place is weird dad's and i'm like shut up son man your your mom's already angry at me
40:14There's no electricity in the house it's just dark in here
40:16So we found a couple lights all the mood lighting but like lispy's they're touching
40:20With that dad's all the walls hollow i said sometimes walls be like that son
40:26So he's in the house everyone's like trying to settle in to this good vibe okay
40:31I've got the feeling my wife's looking like why your eyes so wide i'm like this
40:36He says there's something weird in the house i don't know what's going on
40:39So lispy's run up the stairs he's touching all the walls upstairs and he come back down he goes dad
40:44Doesn't want to show you something dad
40:48So i've gone upstairs with lispy and my wife is like i should have never married you and then
40:56We've gone upstairs and then over there's a room
40:59Uh and he's managed to get it open so it was locked but lisp's money is very resourceful lisp
41:06He's managed to get it open and in the i swear to god in the center of the room was
41:11a cabinet a very ornate
41:13Cabinet no and i was like lisp where you find this because i don't know it's in the room
41:18Because i've got to look at this
41:21Because it was not like the door but i was yanked on it now
41:25Because look at what's inside dad he's opened it double-handed
41:33He's gone dad's dad's what's all that red stuff no
41:37And in this cupboard in the middle of this already creepy airbnb there are vials of blood
41:46Lined up all across there he said dad that don't look good
41:51i said that is not good
41:54We left the house immediately i called the driver and the driver said brother i told you man
42:00We're supposed to be right here oh my god
42:03We went back together
42:04Bloody hell
42:06We're lucky to be there
42:08Right right
42:10The weird thing is like days later like the airbnb listing was gone
42:15So big up lispy
42:18He's the new love of my life yeah genuinely
42:21Right so we have almost come to the end but before we close
42:26This is quite a lot of pressure but i just need to ask the first date
42:30I think it's been good yeah yeah
42:32We didn't ruin it then no no no no i don't know what we're going to do for the next
42:36date like graham
42:43You are i i can i can sort that out for you
42:46But maybe next time i don't know a dough ball and a drink
42:51If you're still together at the end of the year you can come and watch my show even if you
42:54like it or not
42:55Yeah
42:56Do you want to come see a musical about divorce
42:58I would love that yeah
42:59Oh yeah
42:59Very good
43:00I would be there
43:01Awesome
43:02Great
43:02I was going to say
43:03Do you want to be carried out in all fours
43:07From a balcony at the hammers with Apollo i could do that
43:09Do you want to come to the south and shoot us
43:21That is it we are off to play swing ball and talk more about tulips i would like to thank
43:27my wonderful guest joanne mcnally
43:40I'll be joined by jimmy car chase infinity and lisa kudrow thank you for watching good night
43:51Turn up your weekend with sophie ellis baxter's kitchen disco listen now on bbc sounds here
43:59It's a lip-sync smackdown for the crown the final of rupaul's drag race uk versus the world next
44:07Thank you
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