- 49 minutes ago
America's Funniest Home Videos Season 36 Episode 14
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TVTranscript
00:01Tonight's show is packed with laughs. Here's your first taste.
00:11Oh, God! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
00:14Dad!
00:27Welcome to America's Funniest Home Videos.
00:30And now, here he is, the host of our show, Alfonso Ribeiro!
00:39Let's do this!
00:47Welcome to America's Funniest Videos,
00:50the latest in a long line of similar shows that have aired throughout time,
00:54including America's Funniest Photographs, America's Funniest Smoke Signals,
00:58and America's Funniest Cave Drawings,
01:00where everyone who had a cave drawing that aired on the show
01:03got an America's Funniest Cave Drawings buffalo pelt
01:06autographed by the host and my ancestor, Grug Grug Ribeiro.
01:10Oh, yeah. Yeah, good guy, Grug Grug. Handsome, too.
01:14Might have even invented the wheel, from what I hear.
01:16Mm-hmm.
01:18You know how it is. On a hot day, you can't wait to come home and go straight in the
01:23pool.
01:40You're not that dumb.
01:42Not that dumb? Challenge accepted.
01:45Oh, my God!
01:52It's like he forgot the garage door was there.
01:58And that windows are made of glass.
02:07They're at the top of a Ferris wheel in France.
02:09This is Carrie.
02:11Well, this is actually Lel. Lel.
02:14She should concentrate less on how to pronounce the name of the city
02:17and more on not letting go of her phone.
02:34He's cute. He wants to be friends. But at the end of the day, a skunk is still a skunk.
02:42Some boots are made for walking. Some are made for clomping away in terror.
02:48Who does your carpentry? The Jenga Corporation?
03:02Mom spilled some tomato soup, just so you don't think we turned into one of those true crime shows.
03:09Mommy, I left it. And it's on your purse, too.
03:14If you lived here, you'd always be able to dip your bread in something delicious, no matter what room you
03:19were in.
03:31It's time to go to the dog park.
03:37Nothing to see here.
03:39Just a dog with a blue mohawk checking out some chicken.
03:46Are you freaking kidding me?
03:49I see a dog that needs to work on his it-wasn't-me face.
03:55Open your eyes.
04:04That canine doesn't want you looking at his canines.
04:14They thought putting the food up on the island would prevent the dog from eating it.
04:21And technically it did.
04:25He's been wondering why his dog toys keep disappearing.
04:28Look!
04:33Did you see him come running around the corner?
04:36You call him a ferret.
04:38Around these parts, he's known as the Slender Bandit.
04:48When you have a great dame, you need to hang stuff a little higher on the wall.
05:00Maybe the 50-foot leash that reached all the way to the car wasn't such a good idea.
05:05No!
05:08My gosh!
05:10Must.
05:12Maintain.
05:15Eye.
05:17Contact.
05:19With.
05:21Hamburger.
05:30Dad did the old pretend-to-throw-the-ball gag, but Dakota had a back-up plan.
05:39What?
05:47Hey, Alwanda!
05:51Hey, Alwanda!
05:53Can we see more dancing videos?
05:56Yes!
06:01Okay, Charlie and Millie, you want more dancing videos?
06:04Well, we have a bunch, and sync them to music.
06:07Now, who else would have thought to sync dancing with music?
06:11That's why we're on season 36, baby!
06:14What you drinking?
06:14What you want?
06:15We spend it all, we empty vaults.
06:18Check yourself out in the murk.
06:19Never wait in line when you're looking top tier.
06:21From your head to your toes.
06:23Superstar, this is your show.
06:25Yeah, yeah, I like it, like it.
06:27Go on and show on.
06:28Every time.
06:30Every time.
06:30Every time.
06:32Every time.
06:44All in the murk.
06:53Every time.
07:01Oh, I love the way you do.
07:04Love to see, like the way you move.
07:08Love to see, I can tell you ain't no bad.
07:12Love to see, all from the front to the front.
07:16Love to see, little good and little bad.
07:20Love to see.
07:21Ooh, ooh, ooh.
07:24Oh, oh, oh, oh.
07:32Got a funny video?
07:34Upload it to AFV.com.
07:36Like the way through, ooh.
07:40Just came up with the picture.
07:43Just came up with the picture.
07:44I recently learned that strawberries aren't actually berries,
07:54and koala bears aren't actually bears.
07:57What's next?
07:58You're going to tell me boneheads don't actually have a big bone in their head instead of a brain?
08:04Watch these boneheads and try to convince me that's not the case.
08:10Crabs are something.
08:10Here's the thing about boneheads.
08:12They're always good in a pinch.
08:24Here's a good way to ensure you never have to help clean out the crock pot again.
08:45You guys!
08:48I think the hoko dance will be over by the time they finally spell it correctly.
08:53Your C is upside down!
08:57if you asked him why he thought he'd be good at this i'd bet he'd be stoked
09:09first of all thank you two rules for good toast speak from the heart and get the names right
09:15my husband jim and i were so grateful for tom oh it's not john john oh my god
09:25all right restart
09:35watch ready you have to watch the money connor's going to show you how to do it ready
09:40mom's showing her kids that she'll always be able to outsmart them
09:46find the five dollars
09:59it's a strength tester and an iq tester
10:14she may have fallen but at least she has a husband who has his priorities in order
10:19i think i see did you bust your let me check the camera i mean are you okay
10:27are you okay can we win a hundred thousand maybe
10:36everyone these days is talking about multitasking you know doing two things at once here's a
10:42suggestion try single tasking don't do two things poorly do one thing great because if you want to
10:48know what happens to people who are distracted watch these videos hello i'm talking to you
10:55here's what happens when you pay more attention to the patio cover than the hot tub
11:15will he notice the wood if he's looking at a gecko
11:33dad's got his eyes on the tv baby's got her eyes on the prize
11:53there are distracted drivers and then there are drivers so distracted they forget their passengers
12:07suddenly the home alone movies seem a lot more plausible
12:16ironically he's on the phone bragging to a co-worker about his attention to detail
12:31distracted or not it's not the best place for a wheeled cart
12:40even though she falls in the middle of a store she still scrolls one more time before getting up
12:46in every race where you're running is as important as how fast you're running
12:57some of our videos are like fast food quick but satisfying stumble bums however are the fine dining
13:04of videos they take something simple like a slip or a fall and elevate it to a work of art
13:09that last hours like a seven course meal bon appetit her plane landed 20 minutes ago but she still hits
13:18turbulence
13:28some people take their dog for a walk
13:32some take them for a long extended stumble
13:39her shadow starts falling before she does
13:53at least he can laugh it off
13:58by a weed eater they said it'll be fun they said
14:05come on come on
14:09i don't know who she's saying come on to but i hope they don't follow her
14:14you'd never know that he hadn't played soccer in 50 years
14:21that delivery driver wants nothing to do with him
14:36have you ever asked somebody what do you do and they hit you with well what don't i do
14:41great buddy i'll tell you what i don't do play this stupid guessing game to figure out what your job
14:47is
14:47you know what i do do introduce funny videos
14:54go this baseball coach is demonstrating proper technique
15:01forgetting on afv
15:08you doing your homework yes i see you wrote your name yes and you also wrote the date
15:24she did that on her own we that's not exactly a bucking bronco
15:31but i don't want to take anything away from her dismount
15:46oh really
15:53prices aren't plummeting
16:04mom is that a thermometer yes but i'm taking it back because everybody has the same temperature
16:11what do you mean
16:14every temperature i take it's the same
16:16seriously
16:18that's why are you sure oh my god he loves the ice cream truck but i don't think the feeling's
16:27mutual
16:36get your hands ready
16:38they've got some sarcastic clapping to do
16:43it's time to give credit where credit is due
16:46join me as i applaud the effort
16:50you wanted some quiet time so you sent your son outside with just an oversized t-shirt and a hammer
16:56i applaud the effort
17:03sticking to your story about not stealing your brother's nuggets
17:07that's some next level thinking
17:17you thought you could spread your grandmother's ashes without checking the win report first
17:22i admire your optimism
17:25okay ready
17:26yeah
17:27yeah
17:27yeah
17:34going out for cocktails is so expensive that you decided to put a bar in your backyard
17:39you are really crushing it
17:42uh can i get a pint of guinness please
17:45okay goodness
17:48goodness
17:49goodness
17:50goodness
17:50good
17:51there you go
17:52oh thank you
17:55you thought you could safely drive your food truck without securing the wok
17:59good on you
18:08this has been i applaud the effort
18:15it's time for my favorite type of people and my favorite cornerless shape
18:20i'm talking about the winner's circle of course
18:24it's time to have a blast with some big winners from afb's past
18:34is that the whack cobra
18:35i think he's very cool
18:39there's just something about that guy he doesn't trust
18:43that guy he doesn't trust
18:43he doesn't trust
18:51he doesn't trust
18:59he doesn't trust
19:01he doesn't trust
19:01he doesn't trust
19:02he doesn't trust
19:03he doesn't trust
19:04he doesn't trust
19:06he doesn't trust
19:10he doesn't trust
19:12You put an ID on my eyeball?
19:15Yeah, and so they take it off.
19:18And look like, I got all four of these.
19:22You don't have an eyeball!
19:25I don't have an eyeball!
19:27No.
19:29You saw my eyeballs?
19:30You see all my eyeballs?
19:33Don't put your eyes in there.
19:36You don't have an eyeball?
19:38Oh my God!
19:39Did you stay off my eyeballs?
19:44Mom, did you stay off my eyeballs?
19:49I don't have an eyeball!
19:52I don't have an eyeball!
19:54Both of them!
19:56Did you stay off my eyeballs?
19:58No!
20:10Who would have thought a balloon would be harder to pop than drywall?
20:15What happened?
20:18Oh my God!
20:23Let's circle back next week for another Inner Circle.
20:29Want to see your funny video on TV?
20:32Just upload it to AFV.com.
20:42Can you believe it's 2026?
20:44That means we're closer to the year 2050 than we are to the year 2000.
20:49Which freaks me out because when I was a kid, I was told that by the year 2000,
20:53we'd have floating cities and flying cars and we don't have either one.
20:57But we do have cool food delivery apps which enable you to pay like 20 bucks for a can of
21:02soda.
21:03So, uh, I mean, that's pretty cool.
21:11Something tells me that's not the first time this has happened.
21:15You okay down there?
21:16Yeah.
21:19It's gonna be a birdie.
21:22It's gonna be a birdie.
21:24Help me, Bob.
21:24He's going for a birdie.
21:26With a little help from a bucky.
21:31Help!
21:31Thank you!
21:32Yay!
21:47Usually, that crunching sound means you should stop.
21:53It's crazy!
21:56Look at my cat!
22:00Nana!
22:02Nana!
22:03Nana!
22:04Nana!
22:06Nana!
22:08Nana!
22:09Nana!
22:10Nana!
22:12Nana!
22:13Nana!
22:14Nana!
22:14Nana!
22:15Nana!
22:24Nana!
22:26Nana!
22:27Nana!
22:28Nana!
22:29Nana!
22:29Nana!
22:29Nana!
22:30Nana!
22:30Fun fact!
22:31Baracas is Spanish for, you're annoying the baby!
22:35No, go, go, see.
22:37Okay?
22:38Okay.
22:39Okay.
22:42Okay.
22:43Okay.
22:47Personally, I think that kid is showing a lot of restraint by not putting her daddy in time
22:51mouth. This guy's a klutz. Sorry, I call him like I see him. Sometimes the rocket
23:13fails to launch. Sometimes your uncle just stands in the wrong place. Where do you think he'll go
23:39next? The hardware store or anger management classes?
24:01It's time for versus. Join us as clumsy folks who end up wet take on ninjas in the form of
24:07your
24:07favorite pet. Tonight on versus. Awkward pool plungers versus kitty cat sneak attacks.
24:16The awkward plungers come out swinging. Actually, make that swimming.
24:23But the cat strikes back with a window attack. I missed it. A chair this close to the pool?
24:31Someone's bound to feel like a fool. It's doggy beware when he's near the stairs.
24:37This tug of war between friends ends up in the shallow end.
24:44That kid's running amok when he really should duck.
24:50See that boy near the baby? Will he go swimming? Yeah, maybe.
24:55The cats have one last chance to scare up a victory.
24:58Is it or not? And the winner is...
25:05Awkward pool plunges.
25:08Join us next time when the dim-witted swimmers take on...
25:12...ill-faded piggyback rides.
25:15On versus.
25:21Our next montage features playground mishaps. A lot of them.
25:25So many, in fact, that it will cause you to imagine the people who design playground equipment
25:29twirling thin mustaches and cackling like an evil villain in their underground lair.
25:34Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:37-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:38-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:38-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:40-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:46-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
25:54Oh, my God.
26:21Oh, my God.
26:51And friends to play with all over the world.
26:54It's bingo with a serious upgrade.
26:56So grab your phone and get in on the action.
26:58Now, speaking of pies to the face, let's dig into some sweet slices of comedy.
27:05That was not on my bingo card, sponsored by Bingo Blitz.
27:11Oh, my gosh.
27:13Oh, careful.
27:14Snowmen are known to seek revenge.
27:16That's all right.
27:16That's all right.
27:17That's all right.
27:17Oh, no.
27:20Oh, thank you for saving our car.
27:26They've told him it's impossible to crack an egg with his elbow.
27:34Looks like the yolk's on her.
27:36I've got to get this.
27:47The sandals don't exactly scream professional installer.
27:56Don't fall.
27:58Well, at least you know the new glue works.
28:00It's like you've got snowshoes on.
28:06The birthday girl seems like she's got some great friends.
28:09I bet the gifts are going to be lit.
28:25So us teachers would never ask you students to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves.
28:33What is happening?
28:35I didn't know you were...
28:36Oh, my God.
28:39They'll remember this Thanksgiving forever, or at least until they can get the smell of
28:44turkey brine out of the hardwood.
28:49Oh, my God.
28:51Oh, my God.
28:52Oh, my God.
28:55Oh, my God.
28:57Oh, my God.
28:58Oh, no, no, no.
29:00Oh, my God.
29:06Oh.
29:08After this umbrella fiasco, this lady's going to be a full-fledged poncho girl.
29:18I can only come to one conclusion.
29:21This is the first time she has ever seen rain.
29:30This has been That Was Not On My Bingo Card, sponsored by Bingo Clips.
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30:05When a mom falls down, everyone goes, oh, no, mom, are you okay?
30:09When a dad falls down, everyone goes, ha-ha, nice one, dad, because it's usually his fault.
30:16And yes, I say that as a dad.
30:20It's such a fine line between being the fun dad and whatever this guy is.
30:33Breakfast in bed.
30:37Balloons in the ceiling fan.
30:43Grandpa's heart is in the right place, even if his trailer hitch isn't.
30:49Oh, gosh.
30:50Dad, dad, dad, dad!
30:58You better find it.
31:01What was it?
31:02He might be the man of the house, but not when there's a spider in the house.
31:06Where did it go?
31:07What kind of spider?
31:10No, no, no, no, no!
31:20Dad put this swing set together, so he can take it apart whenever he wants.
31:39I thought we decided to give him some Nutella because he was being good at the grocery store.
31:44I don't know if that was such a great idea.
31:54What did you do?
32:00You know what the world needs now?
32:01A toad that may or may not have eaten a lightning buck.
32:14I hope you've enjoyed a toad that may or may not have eaten a lightning buck.
32:23That might have been what the world needs, but you know what I need to introduce some more funny videos?
32:29They're not going to just introduce themselves.
32:33This is the first time she's gone through a car wash while her son's driving.
32:38And the last time.
32:48What about this one?
32:50Apple.
32:50Apple!
32:52Good job.
32:53And what about this one?
32:57Banana.
32:58Banana!
33:00And what about this one?
33:04Mama.
33:06Mama.
33:09That's Mama.
33:12Go, go, go.
33:15Come and catch me.
33:16Come and catch me.
33:18Yes.
33:19Come and catch me.
33:20Yes.
33:21Come and catch me.
33:22You are.
33:24Hold my hand.
33:25Oh, it's so big.
33:28Say, I'm so strong.
33:30I'm so scared.
33:33This proves that you can stink at two sports at the same time.
33:42What you don't see is that there's a bird in the van.
33:45But she certainly sees it.
33:49Ah!
33:50No!
33:53Ah!
34:00Help!
34:01She's off to see the lizard.
34:05Ray!
34:06What?
34:06I'm leaning in my shirt.
34:11I'm leaning in my shirt.
34:14Hi, Leela.
34:16Leela.
34:17Hi, Mom.
34:18Someone's here with your homework.
34:20Mom.
34:22Are you going to forget your homework anymore, Leela?
34:25I'm going to forget your homework.
34:28Hi, Leela.
34:29Hi, Leela.
34:29Have a good day.
34:33We got a hurt fish here.
34:34We pulled up a little rock bed.
34:36Zarf's going to give it CPR.
34:37Try to send him down.
34:38Look at those eyes.
34:39They're good to go.
34:40This guy's ready.
34:41They're practicing catch, resuscitate, and release.
34:44Give him some more CPR.
34:47Chest compressions.
34:48Chest compressions.
34:50Put him on.
34:50Dogs aren't the only animals that can play dead.
34:52Send him home.
34:53Send him home.
34:54Yeah.
34:54Yeah.
34:55Yeah.
34:58He installed his new Dorbo camera just in time.
35:05Dude, you just hit my car.
35:07I'm sorry.
35:15Stumble bums are a mainstay around here.
35:18They're that advanced type of clumsy oaf who can make a simple fall last an eternity and
35:22have become an AFE tradition.
35:24That's why stumble bums are tonight's assignment in America.
35:27Jess, go do that voodoo that you do so well.
35:30Would a stumble bum falling in the woods still take forever to fall if no one was watching?
35:35We may never know, but I do know that video of your slowly plunging pal could win you 20
35:39or even 100 Gs.
35:41Just upload your fall videos to AFE.com.
35:43For full contest rules, log on to AFE.com.
35:46We're not too humble to ask for your stumbles.
35:49Stumble bums, that is.
35:57The show's almost over.
35:59It went by in a flash, but we've still got some time to dole out some cash.
36:03Let's meet our finalists.
36:04First up, when you're at the top of a Ferris wheel, dropping your phone is a pretty big deal.
36:09It's Wee Wee, Phone Nearly Fell on Me.
36:12Sent in by Joe Mendoza from Los Angeles, California.
36:16L'El, and it's Christmas and L'El.
36:19Oui, on.
36:20L'El.
36:22L'El.
36:28Ah, ben, il fonctionne encore.
36:31C'est bon, c'est reparé.
36:33Joining us are Joe and Amy.
36:35Now, Amy, you were looking out over a beautiful city, and oops!
36:40Now, what went through your mind when you dropped the phone?
36:44Shock.
36:46Sheer shock.
36:47And I look over to my husband, Joe, and...
36:51And all we could think of was, do we hurt somebody?
36:54Is the phone damaged?
36:55We're on this trip, and we kind of need the phone, and we kind of don't want to hurt anybody
36:59in a foreign country, so we were a little nervous.
37:02I understand being nervous, but the ride operator did pick up the phone, and you got it back.
37:07Joe, what condition was it in?
37:10The phone was perfectly fine.
37:12The video never turned off.
37:14It was an amazing testament to the quality of the phone.
37:18All right, all right.
37:19Well, listen, it could have been worse.
37:21You could have dropped it in the Seine.
37:23That's the big French river for all you non-French river experts out there.
37:27Yeah.
37:28All right.
37:28Good luck, y'all.
37:30All right.
37:32Next up, soup is good food.
37:34That much is true.
37:35But she'll be mopping up soup for a good month or two.
37:38It's tomato soup crime scene sent in by Mackenzie Creeden from Stamford, Vermont.
37:45Mom spilled some tomato soup, just so you don't think we turned into one of those true crime shows.
37:50When I'm laughing, it is on a person.
37:54If you lived here, you'd always be able to dip your bread in something delicious,
37:58no matter what room you were in.
38:02Joining us are Mackenzie, Alex, Wren, and Eva.
38:06Now, Mackenzie, we could see that the soup went everywhere.
38:10Where was the most unusual place you found it?
38:15Oh, the shoes, the door frame, the ceiling.
38:21It really was everywhere and in my ears.
38:25And in your ears.
38:26Well, how long did it take you to clean it all up?
38:30Oh, months.
38:31Months and months.
38:33Okay.
38:34All right.
38:34Well, you know what?
38:35If it happened to me, I don't know if the smell would have me constantly craving soup
38:40or never wanting it again.
38:43Good luck, y'all.
38:44All right.
38:46And finally, he was working on his doorbell cam when who would have thunk he'd catch a guy
38:51driving into his trunk.
38:53It's car slam on the doorbell cam sent in by Jed Danielson from Anchorage, Alaska.
39:00He installed his new doorbell camera just in time.
39:08Dude, you just hit my car.
39:09I'm sorry.
39:12Joining us are Jed and Allison.
39:15Now, Jed, what exactly were you doing with your doorbell camera when the accident happened?
39:21I was installing it.
39:23You were installing it.
39:24Okay.
39:24Well, I mean, that's some crazy timing.
39:26I heard a co-worker prompted you to send in the video.
39:30Now, what did he say to get you to send it in?
39:33I showed him the video, and he told me, you've got to send this in somewhere.
39:37You've got to show it to people.
39:39And naturally, I came up with America's Funniest Videos.
39:42But naturally, naturally.
39:43Well, you know what?
39:43You owe him a cold one.
39:46A beer, I mean.
39:47Since you're in Alaska and everything's cold, I thought I'd be a little bit more specific, right?
39:52Definitely.
39:53All right.
39:54Good luck, y'all.
39:56All right.
39:57We're going to find out who takes home the cash in just a minute.
39:59But first, let's take a look at some of the clips that didn't make our top three in tonight's honorable
40:04mention.
40:42Okay, it's time to hand out tonight's prizes.
40:44$20,000 for first, $6,000 for second, and $4,000 for third.
40:48Here we go.
40:48Our third place, $4,000 winner is Tomato Soup Crime Scene, sent in by Mackenzie Creeden from Stanford, Vermont.
41:00And the winner of the $20,000 and tonight's Funniest Home Video is...
41:06Wee-wee, phone nearly fell on me.
41:09Sent in by Joe Mendoza from Los Angeles, California with Amy and Joe.
41:16Congratulations, Amy.
41:17I hear Joe had to twist your arm a little to share this video.
41:22What finally convinced you it was worth letting the world see?
41:26I said only on AFV.
41:30You're a very smart woman.
41:34Love that.
41:35Well, it's a good thing because now you have enough money to go drop your phone anywhere in the world.
41:45So congratulations.
41:46You got $20,000 and a shot at $100,000.
41:52Yeah.
41:54All right.
41:55Well, we're out of time, and I can't just stick a couple of quarters in the meter and get another
42:00hour.
42:01Believe me, I've tried.
42:02We'll see you next time, but don't forget, if you upload a video and it airs on the show, we'll
42:06send you an AFV t-shirt.
42:08So good night, everybody, and remember, send your video to me.
42:10You might win 20 Gs.
42:12Good night, y'all.
42:12Good night, y'all.
42:43Good night, y'all.
42:45Good night.
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