- 13 hours ago
Category
🐳
AnimalsTranscript
00:10DARRELL'S BODY
00:18Nup, we got more chance of finding a shit with wings than what I've done Daryl's body tonight.
00:23Some croc's probably tucked him away like a drag queen's dick by now.
00:28Well, I'd say he's been eaten already.
00:32What?
00:33What?
00:34Were you ever gonna tell me that your dad lives in Barrow Creek?
00:37Here we go.
00:38Well, you specifically said that you have no family here, Eddie.
00:41Yeah, because I thought he was in jail.
00:42Well, feel free to tell me about your hometown while we are investigating a case in your hometown
00:48so I don't make a complete git of myself.
00:51Well, you're doing a pretty good job of that yourself by now.
00:53Oh, the glasses are for motion sickness.
00:55Mate, who cares who kept what from who, okay?
00:58We're trying to solve a high-profile murder here.
01:00Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.
01:01So tomorrow morning, we hit the ground running, get his autopsy report and we fingerprint his cage.
01:06What? Who's cage?
01:07Triple Pet, my crocodile.
01:09Eddie, we are investigating a homicide.
01:11This is a fucking homicide.
01:12Hom means human.
01:13Right, now I'd like to say a few words about Triple Pet and my crocodile brother.
01:18Please don't.
01:19Triple Pet!
01:20You loved eating.
01:23Specifically pets, three of them to be exact.
01:25And I know we had our challenges.
01:27I accidentally shot off three of your scutes with a slug gun and you tried to eat me a lot.
01:31But you were my best mate.
01:32And I solemnly vowed to find your killer and avenge your death and so does Collins.
01:36No, I don't.
01:36And now, for your favourite song.
01:38Oh, thank you, Eddie.
01:39Please.
01:39Cracklin' Rose, you're a starboard woman.
01:42But you make me sing like a guitar homin'.
01:46So hang on to me, girl.
01:48This song keeps playing on.
01:52Play it now, play it now, play it now, play it now, my baby.
01:53Please stop moving your bottom.
01:55It is jiggling the boat, Eddie.
02:06There, that was a silly brawl last night.
02:09And Don's death is no excuse for you to kick off it in there.
02:13Let's get this right on the show, shall we?
02:15Wait, wait, wait.
02:16What's with this?
02:17You look like a beachy mortician.
02:19You need to get involved with this, mate.
02:21100% petroleum, moisture wicking, hammerhead shark on the back.
02:25Okay, yep.
02:26Wowee, yep.
02:28Not as good as Bushy Shirt, eh?
02:29Oh!
02:30Hey, have you seen that one?
02:32Bull crock on the front, helicopter on the back.
02:35Double the action, you know?
02:36I don't.
02:37So, any word on Don's autopsy?
02:39Uh, no.
02:40Apparently, forensics are busy.
02:42But we'll head to Darwin once the autopsy's confirmed.
02:44Okay.
02:44When do we meet our team?
02:45Uh, there is no team.
02:47All personnel have been diverted to Task Force Hamare for the backpacker case.
02:51My loves!
02:52Hi.
02:52I bought us new drink bottles.
02:54I've taped the What Colour Is Your Piss Dehydration Guide on the site.
02:57Good on you.
02:58Eddie, I'm so glad you're here reconnecting with your dad.
03:00No, I'm not.
03:01Such a beautiful experience.
03:02No, it's not.
03:03Thank you for letting us be part of it.
03:04No, Cap.
03:05No.
03:06Yeah, move out of the way.
03:07Fucking old screwed up to you now.
03:09Hold that.
03:09I'm going to talk to them about Triple Pet.
03:11Okay, my love.
03:11I'm going to a camping store.
03:13Buy us a family piss bucket.
03:14Oi!
03:15Why are you still here?
03:16Well, I thought we could reconnect.
03:18Have a nice cup of Makona.
03:19I'm investigating the Don Darrell homicide, dickhead.
03:22I don't think you fucking talk to me about Don Darrell.
03:24He's fucking dead to me.
03:26I tell you what, if you had one dram of fucking loyalty and you'd be fucking dead to you too.
03:30He is dead to me.
03:32He's fucking dead to everybody because he's fucking dead.
03:34What did you do with Triple Pet?
03:35Oh, you got tits for airs.
03:37I told you last night.
03:38Somebody stole him.
03:39Oh, really?
03:40Okay.
03:40Yeah?
03:41And that's how he wound up dead in the river with Don Darrell's arm in his mouth?
03:44What are you on about, girl?
03:45That's not Triple Pet.
03:46Look at the bums on top of its head.
03:48That croc's got all his scoots.
03:49Triple Pet's got half of his missing.
03:51And we both know how that happened.
03:53Shit shot.
03:53So where's Triple Pet then?
03:55I don't bloody know.
03:57Come on, not this asshole again.
03:59Get fucked off the gun.
03:59Hey, you!
04:00I'm a confessor!
04:02Bang, hi.
04:03Bang, hi.
04:04Hello.
04:05I'm...
04:05I'm Dulcie.
04:07I didn't get a chance to meet properly when you were shooting at us.
04:10Yeah, I know about you.
04:12Have a look at a pair of you, eh?
04:14Shetland pony and a lesbian giraffe.
04:16It's like a fucking Disney film come to life.
04:19Good luck for the case at Wiener.
04:21You're off to a fucking flyer so far.
04:31This building used to be the old school.
04:33Eddie would remember that, wouldn't you?
04:34Yep.
04:35Oh, yeah.
04:35So anyway, here's the keys to your vehicle.
04:38Alright, that's on loan from the boys at the Dierks River Station.
04:40So I'd give it a wipe down if I was you.
04:42The kitchen, just over here.
04:46Bathroom's out the back.
04:47The toilet is non-load bearing.
04:49So just hover over the top of it like you're riding an invisible motorbike.
04:53That's it.
04:54Just make yourselves at home.
04:56I'm retiring next week.
04:57So I'm doing the handover with my replacement.
05:00So far it's been like hand-rearing a baby duck.
05:03Senior Sergeant Heffernan?
05:04Oh, speak of the devil.
05:06Detectives, this is the incoming Barra Creek Sergeant Luke Ferguson.
05:10Hey, I know you.
05:11Used to work at HQ.
05:13Bushy put his dick in your yoga that time, remember that?
05:15I do.
05:16I do remember that.
05:17Yeah, you still making that homebrew?
05:19Stuff that tastes like a banana pissed itself.
05:21It was tropical sour.
05:22Oh, yeah, it was potent.
05:24Couldn't stop pissing brown for a week.
05:26What?
05:26What's the deal with the man-bat, man-bat?
05:28I had a procedure done on my plantar fasciitis.
05:30The Don Daryl autopsy report's taking an awfully long time to print.
05:34Sorry, the autopsy's been done already?
05:36Yes, and it's taking a very long time to print.
05:38Okay.
05:39We'll just bring it in to the detectives when it's done, Luke.
05:41Oh, I can't do that, Senior Sergeant.
05:43You are supposed to be taking me through the emergency SOPs
05:45all the way through till lunchtime.
05:47I'm only rostered on till 3pm.
05:48It'll be overtime after that.
05:50Yeah, okay.
05:50Okay.
05:51Yep.
05:53Jeez, if the weather doesn't do me in, that boy will.
05:56Just hold tight.
05:57Right.
05:58You've got to open the tray and then you've just got to...
06:00What kind of backyard forensics office does an autopsy
06:02without informing the detectives in charge?
06:05It's territory forensics, mate.
06:06Pretty much just three blokes and a Commodore 64.
06:09You've just got to be firm with me.
06:11I've seen you, Sergeant.
06:11Oh, great.
06:12Coming, Luke.
06:13No, it's down low.
06:13Too slow.
06:15Weapon used in the post-mortem disarticulation of D. Daryl is...
06:22A weapon with a cutting edge attached to a handle or hilt.
06:26So...
06:26It's a knife.
06:27That's a knife, right.
06:28Yeah, that's a knife.
06:28So his head and arm were removed after death.
06:32What else does it say?
06:33It's just it.
06:34The knife bit.
06:34What?
06:35That's not...
06:36No, it's not.
06:36It is.
06:37No, what about the time of death or the cause of death?
06:40Is there a tox report?
06:41It's a visibly.
06:42Cause of death unknown.
06:43Yeah, and underneath the torso.
06:44It's got all the vital organs, the heart, the lungs, the bum and the boobs.
06:47Sure, but this isn't a forensics report.
06:49This is a book blurb.
06:50Forget about it.
06:51We'll figure this out some other way.
06:52Forensics is a crutch for you anyway.
06:54Come on, let's just go to the Daryls.
06:55Shake their shorts, see what turds fall out.
06:57Come on, you can drive.
06:59Oh, can I?
07:00Oh, Eddie, in interviews we refer to Don's death as a fishing accident.
07:04No mention we're treating it as a murder.
07:06I know.
07:06I'll be confidential as fuck, mate.
07:08I always am.
07:09Hi.
07:10Fuck.
07:11Pat was gonna give me a quote about Don Daryl and then forgot about me.
07:14I heard everything you said.
07:17You're a fucking journo?
07:18Yes, I'm Leo and Leah.
07:20I write the NT Times Daily Croc Watch column.
07:21Right.
07:22Well, obviously I'm a fan, but if you print anything we just said, I'll do you for perverting the
07:26course of justice, okay?
07:27That's not the charge for that.
07:28Just keep your hold shut.
07:29Okay, but I'm a trained journalist, so you should let me investigate with you.
07:32I'm dangerously bored in my job.
07:33I've written the same weekly croc attack article for months now and not one person's noticed.
07:37Leo, your help with the crime scene photos was appreciated, but I am running a professional
07:42investigation here, so thank you and no thank you, and goodbye, please.
07:47There's a recycling bin.
07:48Yes, yes.
07:48Okay, thank you.
07:49Oi!
07:50Reddy!
07:51That bike, that's not yours.
07:53Who are you?
07:54Yes, it's Mickey.
07:55Hi, Aunty.
07:56Don't call her Aunty Bub, she's not black.
07:57Yes, she is.
07:59Did you pretend to be black to take my ten-year-old's bike?
08:01No.
08:02And I didn't take the bike.
08:03Yeah, she paid me $120 to hire it for three days.
08:06Cash?
08:07Yes, so we can pay to get Uncle Al's boat fix.
08:09Yeah, because I put dog biscuits in the fuel tank.
08:11Right, well, what?
08:12Return it in good condition.
08:13And pump up the tyres.
08:15Come on, let's go.
08:15Wait, wait, wait, Miffy.
08:17You're a ranger, yeah?
08:19Sir McCrocodile Brother triple pet's gone missing.
08:21Have you seen him in the area?
08:23Listen, Blue Heelers.
08:24If you want my ancestral knowledge and my professional expertise for your police investigation,
08:28then you can contact my boss, Keith.
08:29Keith can contact me and I can tell Keith to fuck right off.
08:32Here you go.
08:33Your son is.
08:35Alright, come on you lot.
08:36Aunty Mary said you can collect some cans at the pub while I'm at work today.
08:39Love the school holidays.
08:40Come on, Mub.
08:43That ranger's a bit of a punish.
08:46Freaky eyes.
08:47Too many fucking colours if you ask me.
08:49Looks like a poisonous frog.
08:51We don't need the bike, Eddie.
08:52We have the car.
08:53We have an adult car now, so...
08:54I've still got five hours left on the rental.
08:56Let's just go.
08:56No worries.
08:57I'm gonna be your human map.
08:58Oh!
09:01What's that?
09:02Wait a minute.
09:03Wait a minute.
09:04Okay.
09:05Back there.
09:07Fuck.
09:11What?
09:12So when we get there, I'll take a lead with the barrels.
09:14Really?
09:14You think that's wise?
09:15And we're all but kneecapped you last night.
09:17Well, at least I'm a local mate.
09:19You stick rich.
09:20I'll look at you and then they'll know you play the oboe and you're terrified of arse play.
09:25It was the clarinet.
09:27Actually.
09:28Oh, it's the superintendent.
09:29Believe it.
09:30We're almost there.
09:32Superintendent.
09:33Ah, detective.
09:33I'm just out to relax, huh?
09:35Thought I'd give you a call.
09:36See how you got on this morning.
09:37Well, we've just arrived at the Daryls now, sir.
09:39So hopefully we can question all of the family members.
09:41Get them to piece together a picture of Don's final hour.
09:43Okay.
09:44And, ah, how's Detective Redcliffe getting on?
09:50Ah, really, really great, actually.
09:52But she'd like a therapy puppet.
09:54Would she?
09:54Really?
09:55A puppet?
09:55Okay.
09:56To each their own.
09:57I'll let HR know.
09:58They'll be wrapped.
10:00I'm doing too many things here.
10:01Oh, actually, sir, we could use your assistance with forensics.
10:05Don Darrell's autopsy report was all of eight words.
10:07They didn't give us a cause of death.
10:09Now, we appreciate that they need more body parts, but we expected a bit more information.
10:13Yeah.
10:14Well, that sounds about right, Detective.
10:16Um, look, I'll make some calls, see if I can't unblock a few of those evidence pipelines
10:19for you.
10:20Thank you, sir.
10:20And we'll do some old-fashioned pavement pounding till then.
10:25All right.
10:25I'll leave you to it.
10:26Okay.
10:27Bye for now.
10:29Hey, um, no jokes when we go in there.
10:32They don't work for you.
10:33It's like a G-string on and not a...
10:38Yeah, so, um, straight out of the bat, we offer our condoles, and, um, I just want
10:45to say how sorry we both are.
10:48Don was, uh, a legend, a river king, a sultan of swing.
10:57Shove it up, you clack.
10:58Dad would be rolling in his grave to know you were here.
11:00Yeah, well, he's not in a grave, he's in his own.
11:02My C-section's here, you shithead.
11:04I will go, you.
11:04Okay.
11:05It's a statement of fact, okay?
11:07Fine.
11:07He's mainly in the river.
11:08Fuck, fine.
11:08You go.
11:09Um, uh, uh, Miss, uh, Miss Daryl, uh, Mrs. Daryl, we just want to ask a few questions
11:16about Don's last movements.
11:18How would we know his last movements?
11:19We didn't follow him to the shitter.
11:20No, sorry, I meant what he was doing before he died.
11:23Well, say that then.
11:24Scrabble.
11:25You think you're better than me?
11:26No, I never, I don't.
11:27And I'm a missus, not a miz.
11:28I'm married.
11:29To Grant.
11:29That's my husband there.
11:30That's, oh.
11:31Oh, that's...
11:33Congratulations.
11:34Um, so when was the last time you saw Don?
11:37Why?
11:37What's it to you?
11:38How fucking dare you?
11:39I am just trying to do my job.
11:43The last time we saw Dad was...
11:46Sunday night?
11:47Sunday night.
11:48The whole family had tea at the pub.
11:51You happy?
11:51So you didn't see him on Monday then?
11:53If we'd seen him then, we would have fucking said.
11:55Tegan, can you get the phone?
11:57So, the last time you saw Don was Sunday night.
11:59Okay.
11:59Oh, no, no, no.
12:00She can't.
12:01That little one can't.
12:01Oh, sorry, we are conducting a police interview.
12:03You can't just...
12:03She's my best friend.
12:05Tegan was my mate of honour.
12:06Okay?
12:07It's a funeral.
12:09Okay.
12:10Well, you tell him Tees that we're not paying for a full-sized coffin.
12:13We've only got the head and the arm, so we'll just do a dog one.
12:15The shit's eights, Amber.
12:16Stop going on about bloody money.
12:18Well, someone's got her mum.
12:19DJ won't, will he?
12:20He just bought a fucking duck boat.
12:22Tell him, Tees.
12:23Hey, they're JJ.
12:24You've got one bracelet.
12:25Boys, don't play with bracelets.
12:26It's gay.
12:27Okay, so the meal at the pub on Sunday, was everyone in good spirits?
12:32What's it to you?
12:33Yes.
12:33Do people who aren't in good spirits do three rounds of crock-sucking cowboys?
12:36It was a lovely night.
12:37It was a lovely night.
12:37How dare you?
12:39Oh.
12:42Who are they from, Troy?
12:46Dear Colleen, Amber, DJ and Trey.
12:50Troy.
12:51That's you.
12:52Troy.
12:53Sorry for your lost deepest symphonies.
12:56Jason Wade.
12:57That dick rat.
12:59The bloody dude.
13:01Troy, you take those birds of paradise out the back and you burn them in the incinerator.
13:07Yeah.
13:07So what happened after dinner?
13:09Dad got eaten by a fucking crocodile.
13:10Girl knows that, Amber.
13:11No, sorry.
13:12Actually, I meant, what time did you all leave the pub?
13:18It's none of your business, but Dad stayed at the pub and then we all left about 10.
13:23We dropped DJ and Troy back here and then Mum come back to ours because all our kids had
13:27both ends gastro.
13:28We were just swapping out buckets till 5am.
13:30Fucking awful.
13:30Yeah, something ripped through on them.
13:31It's probably that woman's nuggets.
13:33And where did Don go after the pub?
13:35Probably headed home.
13:37Okay.
13:37And did he make it home?
13:38Did Troy or your other son BJ see him here?
13:42DJ.
13:42Don Junior.
13:43How dare you?
13:44DJ.
13:45Sorry, my bad.
13:45Yeah, you're not listening to a word we're saying.
13:47No one saw him after the pub.
13:49We already said that.
13:50Right, we're done here.
13:51I've lost my dad.
13:53DJJ's lost his pop.
13:54Mum's lost the love of her life.
13:55What about a gut fool?
13:56Yeah, we still need to talk to DJ.
13:58DJ's not here.
13:59He's taking it hard.
14:00He was Don's favourite.
14:02Well, tell him we want a word.
14:04Okay.
14:04Come on, Carlos, let's go.
14:07Actually, I do just have one more question.
14:09No, you don't.
14:09Yes, I do.
14:10By the time that Don's remains were found on Tuesday, you hadn't seen him for two days?
14:16Where did you think he was?
14:18Fishing.
14:18Right, and what makes you think that he was fishing?
14:21Because on Sunday night he told us he was going fishing.
14:24And you weren't worried about him?
14:25No.
14:26We're not like you city people.
14:28We can go weeks without talking to each other.
14:30It's called being a family.
14:33Right, well that feels like it's hit a natural conclusion.
14:36Uh, great.
14:37We will be in...
14:39Yes.
14:40Joy!
14:41Fire!
14:42Fuck!
14:43Bloody hell!
14:44Get up, amazing cunt!
14:45There's a fire!
14:46Fucking hell!
14:47There's a hose!
14:48There's a hose!
14:48I know where the fucking hose is.
14:50Fuck!
14:52Okay.
14:53Good question to locals about Sunday night.
14:55You just sit in the corner and try not to dog it up again, Scruttle.
14:57Oh.
15:00Come on, you three, cut the shit.
15:02I know you know what fucking went on on Sunday night.
15:05Your asses have been planted here since 1983.
15:08What about you, Rabbit?
15:09Did you see Don Darrell on Sunday night?
15:11Bert?
15:12Did you see Don, huh?
15:14Rog, what about you?
15:16I didn't see anything pertaining to Don Darrell Edwina.
15:19I'll tell you what I did see recently, though.
15:20Lights in the sky over the DRA.
15:23Extraterrestrial activity is increasing exponentially.
15:26No, no cooker shit, Rog, okay?
15:27Answer my questions or I'll sign you up for a government ID.
15:30Hey.
15:30I wonder, eh, boys?
15:32No, don't stop that.
15:33Don't stop that.
15:34Don't stop that.
15:35Don't stop that.
15:35Fuck my hole.
15:36Okay.
15:38Your government says the DRR is decommissioned military now.
15:41They're doing something out there and they're doing it with my taxes.
15:44You don't pay taxes, Rog.
15:45And this is why?
15:46That's my man.
15:46Fuck the colony, babe.
15:48Oh.
15:49This is beautiful.
15:50Because my muse is beautiful.
15:53Those aliens are probably behind all this.
15:55They've probably got triple pet, too.
15:56No!
15:57Hi, boys.
15:57Hot one today.
15:59Shut up, boys.
16:00Stay out of it, boys.
16:01Fuck.
16:03Yeah, the Darrells were here on Sunday night for Don 70th.
16:05The kids ate five dozen nuggets.
16:07Don 70th?
16:09Why didn't they mention that?
16:10Don't take it personally, Darcy.
16:12The Darrells probably just didn't tell you about Don's party because it's none of your
16:15business.
16:16Here we are.
16:18Oh.
16:19Mary?
16:20Yeah?
16:21I thought you cleaned up in here.
16:23No, I remember you were cleaning.
16:25I was digging.
16:26Oh.
16:27Don didn't even finish his steak cake.
16:29I'll get the karcher and pressure hose the lot of it out the roller door.
16:32Just leave the mess for now, thank you, please.
16:34Okay, but we've got to clean it soon.
16:35Pat's having a retirement do in here next week.
16:50Mary, did the Darrells have a fight?
16:541982, Tyndall Base.
16:5642.7 degrees, but this is hotter.
16:59Okay, okay.
17:00Okay, let's get back to Don Darrell or I will kill you all.
17:04We were at the Darrells yesterday.
17:06We fed King.
17:07Okay, that's it.
17:08Line up, you're all gonna die.
17:09See?
17:10Line up, I'm gonna shoot you up.
17:11Hi.
17:12Ron Chuck to Chuck.
17:13Jesus.
17:14Slide in on wheels?
17:15No, I've been here this whole time, again.
17:17If you want to know what happened that evening, the drone was filming around the pub on Sunday
17:20night.
17:21I know because I stay in a caravan out back that barely has a roof.
17:24If you got your hands on the drone, it might have filmed on leaving.
17:27Who has a drone?
17:28I'm not sure or maybe Satan.
17:29The croc in this cage isn't king.
17:31What?
17:32This is not king.
17:33This croc is missing its skirts.
17:41Shit-ass rats.
17:57Collins, where are ya?
17:59In here.
18:01I know we're having a triple pen.
18:05Troy did the penis on the billboard.
18:24I know what you do, but after you get down, you croc-napping fuckers.
18:29You're not a rat.
18:31That croc in King's cage, that's triple pen, isn't it?
18:33So that means it was king in the river with your dad's arm and a priorities for myself.
18:36Get off!
18:37Get off!
18:38Don't follow me!
18:39Troy!
18:40Do not jump!
18:41There is no give in the gravel none, mate!
18:44I told you that it hurt!
18:47We need to question you formally!
18:50Get out of here!
18:53Come on, Sprat!
18:54You think you can take this?
18:55Sprat, come on!
18:55Want to take me out?
18:56Troy!
18:57Oh my God!
18:59Mount the target bike!
19:02Fuck!
19:03Get off!
19:04Troy!
19:06Fucking no!
19:08I didn't do nothing!
19:11I didn't do nothing!
19:25I found this at the pub today.
19:29Troy, did you graffiti the same penis and testes onto your father's face?
19:34What?
19:35On the billboard?
19:35No!
19:36That was those Land of Crocs wankers!
19:37Yeah, it was me.
19:39What the...
19:40Dick and bald dad's face!
19:42Hey!
19:42DJ!
19:43DJ!
19:43No!
19:44Hey, you got that!
19:46Stop!
19:46Stop!
19:47I was angry at him!
19:49Troy!
19:49Mate, come on!
19:50Look at me!
19:52Dads can be tough!
19:53Dads can be tough, yeah?
19:53We know that!
19:55You know?
19:56Weight of expectation!
19:57It's a lot!
19:58You know?
19:59Collins, her dad, he was shit!
20:01He was an actor!
20:02He was in Brigadoom!
20:03No, he was a brigadier in the Defence Force!
20:06The point is, she understands why you didn't want your dad dead, so...
20:10No?
20:11Yeah, yeah, no.
20:12You had a fight with your dad at the pub because of your gay dick heart.
20:15No, the fight was because Dad fed Grant Crabb and then his throat closed over.
20:19Yeah, Dad says allergies for a puss.
20:21Yeah, okay, whatever.
20:22Then after that, you killed your dad, you fed his arm to King, your prehistoric garbage disposal...
20:26That's not what happened!
20:27Yeah, and then King died because he choked on that arm, so you tucked him in the river.
20:31No, King was already in the river.
20:34Yeah, King got out Saturday night, the gate was open, that's why we nicked Triple Pet!
20:40We thought Freak was still in jail!
20:42DJ, is it our fault that Dad's dead?
20:44Yeah, Troy!
20:45King got out!
20:47And then King ate Dad when Dad fell in the river, man, it's a fucking circle of life!
20:51Shit, King murdered Dad because we left the gate open!
20:55Collins, these two fuckspanners don't know how they'll die!
20:58Agreed!
20:59I'm fucked up!
21:00Troy, Troy!
21:01That's enough, DJ!
21:02Shut up!
21:03Hey!
21:04Where did you two go after the pub on Sunday night?
21:07Home.
21:07Went home.
21:08Home, he was on his sink.
21:09Twitch.
21:10Yeah, Troy was on his Twitch and I went out with Rabbit setting off some fireworks.
21:14Look, I've got the videos on my socials to prove it.
21:16Look, look, 15 blowjobs all in a row.
21:18Oh, no thank you, no fellatio.
21:20No, no.
21:20They're a type of firework.
21:21What?
21:22Yeah.
21:23Like this.
21:23Okay, right.
21:24Wait, hang on, what?
21:25They're our confiscated fireworks, Troy!
21:26Grab them!
21:27No, no, concentrate please.
21:28Where's the...
21:28So did you see your dad at all?
21:30He was due back at your place after the pub, yes?
21:33No.
21:33No, dad went to his place.
21:36His place?
21:36What?
21:36I'm not following, no.
21:37He was going to his place.
21:38Yes, but isn't his place your place?
21:40No.
21:41It's our place.
21:42Well, where the fuck is his place then?
21:43Dad's Donger.
21:44Dad went to Dad's Donger!
21:49You're on Top Man Hot Hits with Big B and the Skid, where the Mango Madness is setting
21:53in, Skiddy.
21:53That's right, B, but big news, Toby the Cadaver Dog has joined the missing backpacker search
21:58just in time for Jason Wade's Big Barabash Danza, which kicks off tomorrow in Jerk's River.
22:03Maybe Toby will have time to dip a rod in some...
22:05Maybe, maybe!
22:06Maybe, maybe!
22:22No!
22:22Come on!
22:23No!
22:24Why the fuck not?
22:25The Superintendent Confirmed Forensics is en route and the Dongle is...
22:28Donga! It's a portable building, soft G. Rolling in the G. Donga.
22:33However you pronounce it, it is a suspected crime scene, so we wait for them.
22:37No, we make our own destiny. I'm going in.
22:39No, like fun you are!
22:41We don't have gloves, we don't have booties, and it's all potential evidence in there.
22:45No.
22:45OK, well, I'm going to get Leo to bring us booties.
22:48Leo?
22:49Yeah, the journo. Tell me about the drone.
22:51Why would Leo bring us booties?
22:52Well, they were in the shower block when I was doing my bedtime blog, so I asked them to help
22:55us with this.
22:56No, no, no, they won't. A journalist is not joining this investigation.
23:00God, Eddie, you should have checked with me first. No, fire them. Pay them out if you have to.
23:04No, I'm not paying them. That's a good thing.
23:05They just want first dibs on the story so they can turn it into a podcast.
23:09What?
23:10Collins, we need more hands, OK?
23:12Between the two of us, we've got four hands, but none of them know how to turn on a computer.
23:15Leo can handle that for us.
23:16But they've got this vibe where they barely exist.
23:19People don't even notice when they're being interviewed by them.
23:21I think it's the wind.
23:24Hey, hey, Eddie, don't open that. I said we were waiting.
23:28Oh, I forgot.
23:31Ah, considering that Daryl's place looked like the BFG's junk drawer,
23:37Don kept a remarkably clean dongle.
23:40Donger. It's Donger.
23:41That's what I said.
23:44Wait.
23:46Is it just me, or is this place on a lane?
23:50No, you're right. It is on a lane.
23:52I'm going to dip a toe in.
23:54No, don't.
23:54I'm just a toe.
23:55Just a fucking point of toe.
23:57Oh, fucking finally, cunts.
23:59Eddie.
23:59Where have you cheese biscuits been?
24:00Language.
24:01You've got a hard arm for your swabs.
24:02I've just got the hands.
24:03This is a workplace.
24:04I've got a semi.
24:05I've got a semi for your swap.
24:06Hello.
24:07We didn't go in.
24:12Hi, Mams.
24:14G'day, big eyes.
24:20Struggling with these, Lynn.
24:22Just use a hook grip, Mayor.
24:23Hi, Lynn.
24:24Hi, Kath.
24:25Hi, Mary.
24:25Hi, Kath.
24:26Yep.
24:27You look busy.
24:27Yep.
24:28Always got something to do.
24:29I don't think it'll all dissolve in this.
24:33Oh, hello.
24:34Where did you come from?
24:35Good boy.
24:37Oh.
24:38I've got a new fishing shirt.
24:39And a loose tooth as well.
24:41Loose tooth.
24:42Wow.
24:43Is this your dog?
24:44I was isn't Cherry's dog, miss.
24:46Nah, it's Mav's dog, eh?
24:47Found him on the highway, eh?
24:48Oi, cool car, miss.
24:49Mav loves cars.
24:50He stole one once.
24:51But I'm Cherry.
24:52Oh, I stole Simon Crean's car once.
24:54It was a uni grassroots guerrilla thing to protest speed regulation.
24:58It didn't work.
25:00Can I get a hurricane joke from McCullough?
25:02Uh, yeah.
25:04Sure you can.
25:05Arnie!
25:06She's taking us to Latter Crocs to see Uncle Al.
25:09Oh, good on you, Kath.
25:10I was running out of cans for them to collect.
25:12Cool, I'm in the front.
25:13Come on, boss.
25:14Thanks, miss.
25:14Oh, sick.
25:15He's got touch screen.
25:16Yeah, sure.
25:18This'll be fun.
25:20Where are we going again?
25:23Kate put me up for this uni placement because Darwin Forensics hasn't hired anyone new since
25:27the Azaria Chamberlain case.
25:28Ah.
25:29That's Lauren and Oliver, the other interns.
25:31They're either siblings or they're dating.
25:33I can't actually tell which.
25:35Anyway, I'm paired with Toby the cadaver dog because according to the office manager,
25:39Diane, we're in the same pay bracket.
25:40Yeah, well, I'd get him away from the water, big eyes.
25:42He's in the lunch position there.
25:44The lunch position, ma'am.
25:46Oh, shivers.
25:49Toby, come on.
25:51Toby, here, boy.
25:52Toby, come on.
25:55Toby, good boy.
25:59Isn't he so cute?
26:00Yeah.
26:01Yeah, we're all supposed to be on the backpacker case, but our boss, the prof, sent us here for
26:05the day.
26:06But I don't mind because I'm back with my work mums.
26:09So, Abby, I was wanting...
26:10Oh, no, sorry.
26:11Why are you going to do that?
26:12That's just not happening.
26:13No, that's good.
26:13Oh, you didn't want to...
26:15Okay, um, cool.
26:16Okay, um, how is this investigation going?
26:20Oh, did you hear that?
26:21That's not a spacecraft.
26:22I assure you, I did not think it was.
26:25It's that hovered cunt drone.
26:26Eddie, Eddie, leave it!
26:28No, no stuff.
26:30Oi, I want to talk about Sunday night at the pub.
26:33Sue, is this a potential crime scene, ma'am?
26:35That's what we're trying to figure out.
26:37Don was headed here on Sunday night, so we're just looking for anything to indicate what might
26:42have happened.
26:43Did Don make it out here?
26:44Yeah, you know, was he alone?
26:45Oh, wait, ma'am, you've just stepped in some Toby poo.
26:48No.
26:48Oh, I'll go get you a bag.
26:50Yep, great.
26:51Hi, hi, get back here, you animal fuck!
26:53I just want to talk!
26:54Here, ma'am, you can lean on me.
26:57I think, right, right.
26:58Ooh!
27:01Is anyone missing a bracelet with straight pride symbols on it?
27:05And an iced coffee?
27:17Is that your bracelet?
27:20No.
27:21No.
27:21All right, well, we did find it this morning at your dad's donger.
27:24Is what?
27:25At the...
27:26Donger.
27:26Your dad's donger.
27:28Okay.
27:28For fuck's sake, were you out there last night?
27:31No, I wasn't.
27:32I've got five kids under five and Greg's never changed a nappy, so that could be anyone.
27:36Sure.
27:36But we did see you with it yesterday when you told Don Junior Junior he couldn't play with
27:41it.
27:43Well, so what, that I was at the donger last night, what's it to you?
27:46What's it to us?
27:47What it, what it, what it to us is, is that we think your dad was murdered out there.
27:51Eddie, no, just fuck, just...
27:54Um...
27:54What?
27:55Yeah, yeah.
27:57What?
27:57You fully said dad was in by a croc.
27:59No, we fully didn't.
28:01It was you that said that.
28:02Amber, we know about your dad's 70th, how he force-fed your husband and grand mud crabs
28:08and that resulted in a fight where those crabs were weaponised.
28:12Why didn't you tell us about the crab fight, Amber?
28:14Why did you say it was a lovely night?
28:17Clearly it was.
28:17Because it's none of your fucking business that dad is a cunt!
28:22But dad was a cunt!
28:24Amber, if you don't tell us why you were out of the donger, then we're just going to have
28:28to guess.
28:29And we think you went out there to cover up a bit of a dad murder.
28:35Tell them the truth, Ames.
28:37Yeah, listen to your mate, Amber.
28:38Fuck off.
28:40Alright, fine.
28:42I was out there because I was looking for the money.
28:44I didn't find it because someone else has been out there.
28:46I can tell because the donger's been whisked off its blocks.
28:49And aside from that, I couldn't have killed him because I was at the hospital all Sunday
28:51night with Grant because his throat closed over, didn't I?
28:54Shut up, shut up.
28:54Wait, what money?
28:55The money he wants back.
28:57The money who wants back?
28:58Him!
28:59Who?
28:59Fucking him!
29:00Jason Wade!
29:01That land of crocs fuck paid dad 300 grand and now he wants it back!
29:06Can I go?
29:07I've got meat in the car!
29:10So Jason Wade grew up in Adelaide and attended an elite boys college that was burned down
29:14by its own old boys when it went co-ed.
29:16He has no prize, just a caution for driving 170 kilometres in a 160 school zone.
29:22Are you okay?
29:23No, I'm not.
29:24I'm police, Leo, and all of this is official police business.
29:28Uh-huh.
29:28I know.
29:29So if you publish anything about this case before a suspect is convicted of this crime,
29:34then not only will justice not be served for the victim, but the law will come down
29:40on you with the force of a hypernova.
29:43Do you understand?
29:44I do.
29:45Good.
29:45But also if you don't solve this case, I'm just going to bin the whole thing because
29:48nobody wants to hear about losers.
29:49Where was I?
29:51Anybody want a chip?
29:52Yeah?
29:53Tastes like B.O.
29:54Good B.O.
29:56Jason is the star and creator of Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under and the marine spin-off
30:00Jason Wade's Adventures Down Under goes more down under.
30:03Eight years ago, he opened Jason Wade's Land of Crocs and Other Animals Wildlife Park
30:07near Dierks River.
30:11Oh, no, I'm done.
30:12Oh, okay.
30:13All right, great.
30:14Well, we'll head to Land of Crocs now.
30:18$350.
30:19We got this car yesterday.
30:20Is this normal?
30:21Yes.
30:22Detectives.
30:23Hold up.
30:25G'day, man-boo.
30:26You don't answer your phone.
30:27Yeah, because it might be a bill.
30:28Well, it wasn't a bill.
30:29It was me.
30:30I was calling because a local man by the name of Mr. Rabbit
30:33reported a body part in the river.
30:37It's in the water off Dickie's Knob.
30:39Okay, great.
30:40Well, I know a ranger.
30:41They would love to take you on a boat to collect that loop.
30:43No, no, no.
30:44See, my shift ends in 10 minutes.
30:51Oh, no, don't look at me.
30:52I didn't bring my goggles.
30:54I'm off to Land of Crocs.
31:00Get out, you young bastard wince.
31:04Get out.
31:05Did you know Child Protection Services now has an app?
31:08Just key in your 26-digit client PMP for access.
31:11You're speaking to Ellen.
31:12Oh, oh, oh, hello, Ellen.
31:13Hello.
31:14Hi, hello, hello.
31:15Oh, hi, Ellen.
31:16Ellen, is it?
31:16Yes.
31:16Yes, Ellen.
31:17Hi.
31:18I'm Michaela Morris, and I've recently become the kinship carer for my nephew, Maverick.
31:21One moment, please.
31:22No, don't put me on hold.
31:22Ellen, I'm connecting you with kinship services now.
31:25Ellen, thank you.
31:26Fuck, at least fucking lube me up before you fuck me like this, Ellen!
31:34Are you all right?
31:37It's another big day at Land of Crocs and other animals with our feeding of chomp kicking
31:42off soon in the croc arena.
31:44At 3 p.m. we have the batfish feeding, and don't forget to book in for your...
31:48I need to speak with Jason Wade.
31:50The office isn't answering.
31:51Yeah, sorry, it's my chance for holidays.
31:53One adult, that's $75, please.
31:55Uh, and police.
31:56Unless you're a family of four, it's $75, please.
32:01Right, right, yep.
32:04No, I don't need that.
32:05I'm just, I'm just going to try and find...
32:07Yeah, I just need to know where...
32:09Okay, great.
32:09And don't forget your ticket.
32:10Here you go.
32:10Have an O.C.
32:12Next.
32:13Uh, could you direct me toward back of house?
32:16Thank you so much.
32:16Stand on the black X there, please.
32:17Oh, I just need to be directed toward the back of house, see if that's okay.
32:20Big fella is to your left, so look up at him, super scared.
32:24Who's that bitch?
32:25Oh.
32:26At 3 p.m., Kate and Kate are going into the tube of doom.
32:29And then at 4 p.m., folks, we have the city grunter feeding with me, Roisin.
32:34Okay?
32:35But starting now in the practice here...
32:37Just go through, please.
32:38Right, okay.
32:38It's croc feeding time with Bigfellas!
32:41Thanks, machine.
32:42Take the seat, folks.
32:44Welcome, welcome.
32:45Good day, everyone.
32:47My name is Al, and I'm the land of crocs and other animals indigenous ambassador.
32:53Can we just take your seat, please, ma'am?
32:55Now, this has been my people's country since time immemorial.
33:08Today, I welcome everyone in the crocosphere to my country.
33:14Huh?
33:15Sit down.
33:16Sit down.
33:18I am.
33:19Oh, my God.
33:21I am.
33:21Caring for country, respecting country, and all its creatures.
33:25Why does Uncle Al have that yidaki?
33:26He doesn't even know how to play.
33:28Like Dungalaba.
33:33Dungalaba is language for my title.
33:35The saltwater crocodile.
33:37And now, a special surprise for you all.
33:40The top fan's favourite son, Jason Wayne!
33:48Thanks, Al.
33:49Everybody give it up for him.
33:50I'll tell you what, folks.
33:51No one knows these rivers and these crocs better than Al Maydow.
33:55But we'd all learn so much more.
34:00G'day, g'day.
34:01G'day, g'day.
34:02G'day, g'day.
34:04G'day, g'day.
34:05G'day, g'day.
34:05My name is Jason Wayne.
34:07I might host a couple of TV shows.
34:10For fans of the house.
34:11Love it.
34:12But seriously, we all know who the real star of today is.
34:16Ladies and gents, give it up for Bigfella.
34:20Let's get him out here and give him a feed.
34:31Yeah, so Moonboot said that rabbit said that the body part was up round this way, so we've
34:36just got to go up that, um, trap, trap, trap, trap, trap, tree, uh, by, uh, Dickie's
34:42knot.
34:42So I reckon we just head downstream, Miffy.
34:44It's Mickey.
34:45Do you seriously not remember me?
34:47Mickey Morris, we went to school together?
34:49Oh, come on.
34:51It was you, me, my cousins, a bunch of white dogs talking racist shit about us, even though
34:55they only shared one fucking face between them like it was a bong.
34:58Come on.
34:59You'd co-hanging me at home, Ed.
35:00Yeah, because I'd invite you out for darts to the creepy-faced tree and you'd dog me every
35:04time.
35:05Yeah.
35:06Cool.
35:06So what's been happening?
35:07You still at school?
35:09I'm 44.
35:10No shit, me too.
35:11Hey, I reckon we need to go to where the crocodile in the sunnies is.
35:15You do realise that's an activity map for kids?
35:19Hard, hard left, I reckon, Miffy.
35:25Is that yours, Sonar, or it works?
35:27Works.
35:29That's a bull shark.
35:30I know.
35:31Bull shark give birth to a live young.
35:33Mickey, you gave birth to your live young.
35:37Is that, is that how it happened?
35:40What's that one?
35:41Is that a sawfish?
35:42Sawfish cut their prey?
35:44In half of their nose.
35:45It's not a sawfish, alright?
35:46I know what a sawfish is, and that's not a sawfish.
35:49Worse than my kids.
35:51Is it a torso?
35:54Oh, bugger.
35:55It's just a foot.
35:56That's only a help, I almost donned on a tinea.
35:59Where's its big toe?
36:02What's that saying?
36:04The hovercats!
36:05Yes!
36:11Shit shot my ass.
36:16I'm investigating Don Daryl's death.
36:19Okay, and you've spoken to Amber Daryl.
36:21I have, and your name came up.
36:23You think there's something going on with me and Amber?
36:25Ah, no, that is not what I thought.
36:27Tulsi, come on.
36:28Detective is fine.
36:29Uh, how do I put this politely?
36:31My wife, ah, Alethea, is a former runner-up Miss Australia.
36:35She's one fashion on the field, she's beautiful.
36:37Yeah.
36:38Have a look at her cover of Maxim.
36:39Pre-kids, of course.
36:40Ah, it's really not necessary for me to see your wife's photos.
36:43But you get it, though, right?
36:44Oh, if I have an affair, it won't be with someone like Amber Daryl.
36:48She doesn't even register as a woman to me.
36:49Well, that is not why your name came up.
36:52She told us about the $300,000.
36:55Oh, that.
36:57Oh, you'll be worried there for a second, Tulsi.
36:59Detective.
37:01Why did you give Don Daryl $300,000?
37:04It's to buy King.
37:06The biggest croc in the Territory.
37:08I've been trying to buy him for years.
37:10I knew the Daryls were struggling, so I made Don an offer he couldn't refuse.
37:14I paid him the cash Friday.
37:16Gonna need that back, obviously, now that he's dead.
37:18Don?
37:19King.
37:20I can wait till after the funeral.
37:21I don't need the cash, obviously.
37:23Make more than that each week off hurricane drinks.
37:25Yeah, if that makes sense, they are $35 a pop.
37:28I can't believe you thought I was having an affair with Amber Daryl.
37:32It's not what I thought, so...
37:34Anyway, Mrs and I have an event to get to.
37:37We're Pearl Ambassadors, so let me walk you out.
37:40I'll see if I can remember where the staff exit is.
37:42Not on the ground much anymore.
37:43Just flat chat, filming my show, editing Season 12 right now.
37:48And then we're going to do a series where I'll drive a fast car over a Salt Lake.
37:50Just back and forth.
37:52Me and Big Russ, Russell Crowe.
38:08Hey, Leah.
38:10I shot down the hovercats.
38:12So, I need you to see if there's any footage on the drone of Don leaving the pub.
38:15So, yeah, action you to action that.
38:17Come on.
38:18Quick dicks, Leah.
38:19Mm-hmm.
38:22That's a foot.
38:22Don't worry about that.
38:23Eddie, I met the most amazing dog today.
38:27Awesome.
38:28Yeah, great.
38:29Look.
38:31His name's Boss.
38:32I'm a bit too busy to talk about dogs right now, OK?
38:35Hey, Leah, can we hurry this up?
38:36I need to get this foot to forensics before it gets soupy.
38:39There is footage saved on this drone.
38:41Is there anything from Sunday night?
38:43Mm-hmm.
38:47OK, I'm going outside, Lozzy.
38:49OK.
38:50Oh, bloody hell, that was a monumental waste of time.
38:52There is absolutely nothing here to suggest this is a crime scene.
38:55Yeah, because someone's hosed the site down, Oliver.
38:58I mean, look, there's water runoff,
38:59even though it hasn't rained here since last April.
39:01Of course it's rained here since then, Ali.
39:02That's ridiculous.
39:03No, it's the tropics.
39:04Grab Toby, yeah?
39:05We're leaving.
39:06Lozzy, let's get out of here.
39:07OK, I am.
39:08Toby, where are you?
39:11Toby?
39:12Toby?
39:14Toby?
39:17Freak, freak, freak, the lunch position.
39:21Toby?
39:24Toby?
39:26Toby?
39:27Toby, is that you?
39:32Oliver!
39:32Toby found a toe!
39:34It is the clam scene!
39:36No, Toby!
39:37That's evidence!
39:39Toby, no!
39:43Yeah, this is good, Leo, but there's no-one around.
39:45The joint's dead.
39:46Looks like a model railway.
39:47Just go around the corner.
39:48I can't turn the camera around.
39:49I'm not controlling it.
39:50No, I've seen people do it.
39:51No, you've seen Google Street View.
39:54Oh, that's just me.
39:55It's 76 photos of boss.
39:57Cool.
39:58No!
39:58No, don't go away.
39:59I haven't seen Don leave the pub.
40:01Where are you going now?
40:02Wait.
40:03I know where that is.
40:06That's near Don's Donger.
40:09That's his bloody jetty.
40:12G'day, g'day.
40:14Who do we have here, then?
40:16So I'm doing K2, then Denali, then Everest, with our geo, and then I'm back here for a six-parter,
40:22where we barbecue fish on the beach.
40:24Sounds fun.
40:24Jason, I also will need your whereabouts for last Sunday night.
40:28My PA's not my director, so just give them a call.
40:30Who are they?
40:30This is the exit.
40:31Do you need a selfie with me to show the girls back up?
40:33No, I think girls are fine.
40:35Great.
40:35Great.
40:35Awesome.
40:36Awesome.
40:36Really great to meet you, Dalton.
40:38I'm really special.
40:39Okay.
40:39Take care.
40:39And your PA's contacts.
40:41I'll take them off as a pair.
40:45That was...
40:46Yeah.
40:47Yeah.
40:50Yeah.
40:57Eddie.
40:58Collins.
40:59There was someone else out of Don's longer.
41:01They got picked up on the drone on Sunday night.
41:03They're dragging Don's body up the jetty.
41:05What?
41:05Can you tell who it is?
41:07It's Chomp.
41:08Sorry.
41:08It's who?
41:09Oh, God.
41:10Chomp from Land of Crocs.
41:12He's our killer.
41:13Collins?
41:14Collins, you still there?
41:19Oh, God.
41:22Hey!
41:24Oh, God.
41:28Oh, God.
41:32Oh, God.
41:39Oh, God.